retrograde

I like the conceit but found the pilot pretty lackluster. I agree with this AV Club review that Kal Penn doesn't have the chops to pull off "charming jerk." The dialogue was also trite all around and there also just weren't many funny jokes. I'll give it another try -- pilots often suck -- but I hope there's way less of the main character and way more of the others in the future. Some of the ensemble have promise but none of those characters were fleshed out.

Only just realised this is back. On the upside, I have been catching up by only watching room reveals, so I don't have to see all the ~*~drama~*~ and can just snark on the shitty designs and decor (though this year mostly isn't as bad as others). But now I also can't tell most of the couples apart. Of those I can, I like Mitch and Mark the most just for doing something different, the know-it-all real estate agent the least. I know I say this every year, but making the building even bigger than ever is stupid and just leads to unfinished rooms. As evidenced by the first week when basically no teams finished. Another year of (relatively) tiny, boring master bedrooms. The show continues to emphasize choosing nice towels and mirrors over actual quality construction. Also: Double Ds divorcing.

That ending was so weird. It isn't that hard to push through a crowd. Meanwhile, Charles could at least wait until they're living together to propose. Speaking of, what happened to that whole custody situation with his daughters? There was a whole episode about it, and I don't think anyone has ever mentioned it since?

I watched it all in a couple of days but just found it OK. There was zero chemistry between Orlando Bloom and the fairy lady (I have already suppressed the cringe-worthy character names) -- I thought the goat-man and the rich girl were a more interesting couple (shame her brother is so one-dimensional and will be following them to the second season). I agree there wasn't all that much magic given all the magical creatures. In such a season so overstuffed with genres, the "mystery" element seemed to be the most successful (or at least I didn't guess any of the whodunnit) -- but also the least necessary? They did some good world-building, I wish they'd just spent more time living in that world than on crime-solving.

Shut up, Kelsey. Shut up, Josh.

Oh man, I thought that final version of the shadow song was sooo corny, especially with the fiddle. Maybe that's what works for Macklemore, I don't know. I liked the City Kids one way more. Still, I do enjoy this show overall. It's impressive to watch the songwriters do their thing and they've managed to get a formidable roster of genuinely big artists. I do fast-forward basically all of the contestant intros and all the bits where people enthuse about how important songwriting is, though.

Please kill this tortured love triangle. I actually thought they were moving on from it a few episodes back when Charles had that whole parable about his affair with an older woman who thought being with a younger man would be validation. This week's return to the whole thing was particularly dumb. Liza has never acted that way around Josh before. Why would the Forever 21 knock-off want to be associated with millennials when its target market is gen z? Yeesh, poor timing for NY1 given they were just sued by female anchors for age discrimination. At least this fictional Pat Kiernan had more journalistic nous than the fictional Pat Kiernan in the last Spiderman movie.

This show can't get much more mileage out of the "younger" concept, so I'm glad they used up the remainder with one great big bang. I'm actually interested to see what the consequences will be. It's weird that Liza has apparently taken on something of a parenting role with Charles' kids -- enough that she immediately agreed she should be on the school pick-up list and is doing their homework -- and we've seen... none of that. Have we even seen the kids themselves since the company picnic several seasons ago? Liza's relationship with Josh is not healthy.

Wow. After a pretty underwhelming season, that was an awesome last two episodes (other than the very, very end). Can't believe Jackson is still a guard though! Is there a single guard left who hasn't done something deeply corrupt?

That's one of the things that makes it so bad -- he is using his natural accent a lot of the time, then suddenly slipping in these god-awful "'ello 'ello 'ello" affectations. It was also dodgy in Thor Ragnarok but not this bad.

I enjoyed the whole series a lot, but dear god Karl Urban's "British" accent was Dick Van Dyke levels of bad.

In semi-related news: Margaret Fulton -- Australia's original celebrity chef, who appeared in the very first season of MasterChef then went scorched earth -- has died.

Who magazine is the one reporting Maggie Beer, Curtis Stone and Poh, though I have to say it is a very thin article with vague sourcing. Channel 10 is currently officially saying no decision has been made and that does seem more likely to me unless this has been in the works longer than it seems. That said, I think it's plausible. Stone most recently hosted the ill-fated US version of My Kitchen Rules and is already a shill for Coles, Maggie did Great Australian Bake Off and is one of the most popular MC guest judges, and Poh's already part of the brand. Suggestions I've seen on Twitter that I like are Adam Liaw, Kylie Kwong and the yeti from Planet Cook.

This would actually be amazing. But $20 says it's Curtis Stone, Bill Granger and, like, Peter Russell-Clarke. Allegedly the current mob all wanted to up their $1M+ salaries by 40%. Which, given the sagging ratings and George's baggage, is a big ask.

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Wouldn't miss George's presence at all if he's booted over the wage stuff. It shouldn't be forgotten that he was not only a multi-millionaire stiffing his workers, but was using his fame to actively campaign to cut weekend and holiday penalty rates for workers across the country. He at least claims it isn't -- seems to suggest he was just sick of running a fine dining establishment. Certainly I think the Press Club was getting a little dated, whether that was effecting the bottom line or not. It specialized a long time in very wanky, gimmicky gastronomy dishes that have largely fallen out of fashion in favor of farm-to-table stuff. I see they'd backed off that recently, but then I have to imagine it wound up more like his more laid-back Greek restaurants and not so unique. Regardless, after 13 years, it wasn't a place the foodie crowd was falling all over themselves to get into. Even when I left Melbourne almost a decade ago, Hellenic Republic was the far buzzier of his spots. Anyway he says he is replacing it with a less fancy, less Greek concept soon. Seems like a ... bad time for an opening though. I don't imagine anyone important will want to be seen there right now.

Kinda. I'm not not watching it, but finding it hard to get excited about anyone.

Ben: I just can't wait to go an do an internship! Cut to: Ben, a 24-year-old with zero culinary experience, is now planning a taco stand. I'm Larissa's biggest critic, but I thought tiramisu was actually a pretty clever use of the stale bread, and the dish looked tasty. Still, Simon one was the one who really nailed the challenge. I'm warming to him.

I think most western countries have a Milo equivalent (and Milo itself is very popular in much of Asia) -- like Ovaltine and Nestle Quik. Speaking of, there were some pretty uncreative uses of Milo. Milo ice cream already exists! No panna cottas at least, but the ice cream/mousse/sorbet + tuile/praline + crumb/compote thing is just as common and equally lazy. Bake an effing cake, you cowards. The contestants trying to do talking heads for the best-selling ingredients box cracked me up. "Yep... those are common ingredients." "Nothing in here surprised me." I don't think I know the difference between Nicole and Tessa.

Contestants: George, does this have sugar in it? George: *reads the ingredients* Yes. Contestants: Thank god George is here to guide us! Also, if Sandeep's dish truly didn't taste good, fine, but I can't believe he got rapped for being unoriginal making rice pudding given how many effing panna cottas were in the episode. Larissa and Ben have both made so many, I thought they'd just melt into one giant, wobbly blob when they joined forces. Yeah, no shit they managed to pull off a decent approximation of the simple dish they've already cooked 5,000 times on this show. I swear I remember that in (far) earlier seasons, the judges would eventually start penalizing contestants who made the same things over and over, no? Am I imagining this?

Gah so many panna cottas. How many has Larissa cooked at this point? And yes, credit to Tim for actually baking something.

No matter what he does, George will always be my least favorite for underpaying his employees and bitching about penalty rates. I can't believe they made Sandeep come all the way out to the set to film five seconds of him playing his pin! Then tried to be "nice" by letting his sit down! Abbey going was a surprise for sure, especially before people like Ben. I'm still not really sure who's going to end up in the top few, nor who I want to be in there. For all the big name international guests this show gets, Maggie Beer and her weird sack dresses are consistently the most enjoyable presence every year, I think. You can tell the contestants love having her around, and the challenges when she's there always skew to straightforward, honest cooking.

Love this interview with the actress who plays Kat: It also alerted me to this supercut of every time "the Dot Com" has been mentioned on the show. Meanwhile, that was certainly... an ending. No one at this magazine understands the line between editorial and advertising and they deserve to go out of business.

It certainly fits the stereotype. To be honest, I don't think the average Australian has any idea how Americans make or serve chili. I was kinda surprised that's what they thought of when they thought of an "American" dish at all -- I reckon most Australians think it's maybe a Mexican thing, and cook a similarly shitty versions (that are basically bolognese) to Tati and Sandeep to stuff in hard-shell tacos with a lot of other ingredients that don't belong in there. I suspect Tati and Sandeep were just stuck for ideas. (That said, I have also had chili with rice in the US, also in NY [which I don't think of as a big "chili" place outside of maybe firehouses?]).