Victor the Crab

Google undersizes Stephen by one inch? BASTARDS!!! Pope Frankie would make wearing adamantium claws look cook, I betcha. The only personal question Sean Hannity needs to answer is: "Why are you such a lying, treasonous turd?" I love how Stephen just verbally pants Hannity every chance he gets. Stephen should have, at least, had PK Winsome in his collage of him with African Americans.

Actually, the Democrats have plenty of successes they can boast, going into the midterms, like the ACA and the continuing recovery of the economy that the Republicans nearly cratered. Problem is, Republicans, along with their mouthpieces in the media, right wing and mainstream, keep on endlessly jackhammering that Obama and the Democrats are useless, that they're the worst, and that everything they touch turns to shit. And the Democrats are too chickenshit to stand up for themselves. I'll wait till later to watch the O'Reilly interview, if I get around to it.

Yup. And getting to talk to Jon in the Q&A would be a big highlight for that person.

You want to know what's funny, trow125? As a kid, growing up along the Canada-U.S. border, we used to bug our parents about taking us to Arby's whenever we were in the States. We didn't have one in our Canadian town, and we thought they were the most delicious things around (Hey, we were kids, we didn't know any better, okay?!!). Plus, it was one of those American things we didn't have back home but so badly wanted. Like Hostess Fruit Pies, or those cereals you couldn't get at Canadian supermarkets. Finally, as a twenty year old, an Arby's opened up in our Canadian town, and I was ecstatic. At first. But, after awhile, something lost me. Perhaps it was because something that was once a little out of reach for me became readily available, the thrill of going to Arby's was gone. Soon, it became just another corporate fast food joint that bored me. After I moved out of town, I swear, the number of times I've eaten at Arby's in the past 25 years I could count on one hand. This despite increased, aggressive advertising here in Canada. But because of Jon and his running gag of attacking Arby's through mock promotion this past year, I've ended up getting that craving for Arby's sandwiches again. I've already visited an Arby's three times this calendar year. [shakes fist in the air] DAMN YOU, JON STEWART AND YOUR ATTEMPT AT SATIRE!!!!!

Might as well describe them as Red Weddings.

All the whipped cream in the world couldn't get me to eat a pumpkin pie. And Lord knows I've tried... to eat a slice of pumpkin pie, not pile a mountain of whipped cream onto it.

I was waiting for the bride to be to say "I love the Louie Gohmert". I was also waiting for Stephen to introduce the line of Republican douches, and he did not disappoint. Neil Young and Stephen make a perfect odd couple. Stephen's addition to Neil's song oddly worked.

Jon, all you're doing by slamming Arby's is making me want a Beef 'N Chedder sandwich. CNN is the only U.S. news network that I get here in Canada. And I'm glad I don't watch that crap for my information, otherwise I'd be shitting my pants in fear. Wow Staten Island 11th District, you really know how to pick winners, dontchya? I wouldn't blame the rest of the New York metro area if they decide to build a wall around your island so that they don't have to look at you. Total garbage sums up your entire journalistic career, O'Reilly.

32 more episodes and Stephen will be dead. Then, he will rise again on CBS. Like Jesus. Which is how Stephen would like it.

Were some of those even real emails from the Democrats? They look as if they were sent by right wing trolls trying to stir up shit. Exorcists and social media. Two things I never would have considered putting together under any circumstance. What I seem to have gotten out of the interview with Matt Bai was that the better the technology available, the more shallower and superficial the news coverage is.

As if Bill O'Reilly wasn't insufferable enough, here's an article about him declaring victory over the media. And in it, this questionable reason as to why he appears on TDS to talk to Jon: I hope Jon takes off the gloves and goes after him tomorrow night.

If the 2022 Winter Olympics come down to either China or Kazakhstan, then all I can say is: HA-HA! Looks good on you NBC. Maybe this is the beginning of your karma for your years of asshattery, like when you fucked over Conan O'Brien. I only hope Norway's example is the beginning of potential host nations telling the IOC to go fuck themselves until they decide to stop acting like entitled douchebags.

Amazing that people overlooked this, but Malala Yousafzai, who was Jon's guest exactly a year ago, was named co-winner of the Nobel Peace Prize today. Her appearace and candour about seeing young girls in the Middle East get an education, and how she didn't back down from the Taliban after they shot her and left her for dead, left Jon clutching his hands to his mouth, speechless.

That has got to be the most adorable video I've seen in awhile. It left a huge smile on my face. Want proof the Republicans used stock photos for their latest ad? Check this out! Robert Plant has that Billy Connoly look down pat.

Jon was hilarious and spot on about everything that slimy, ungrateful weasel Hank Greenberg was for suing the government. And generous, because anyone of us would have probably gone full out Bolton on that piece of shit. Good to see Al back, and in a big way. His sex act with the churros was funny, but it was no Stephen deepthroating a banana.

I cannot get out of my mind the image of Aasif as a Michael Jackson impersonator.

Carol Burnett hasn't changed a bit. She still remains as brilliant and funny as she was when she had her television show.

It's very difficult to find the funny about these ISIS assholes. Well, these condescending ads directed at women must be working, because Republicans are poised to take the Senate as well as keep the House. Nice prop work with the bowl of jellybean - I mean birth control pills - by Kristen. Nice to see you feel better, Jon

Not surprising Jon would reschedule O'Reilly. But following him up with Zach Galifianakis? Double ugh!

Between Jason and Samantha dominating the show, as well as the MoZ, it definitely felt like Canada was well represented last night. Not too ironic, given that last night was also the season premieres of The Rick Mercer Report and This Hour Has 22 Minutes on CBC.

Leon Wieseltier sure did roll with the punches Stephen threw at him. I liked at the end how he congratulated Stephen on living in his own world.

Well, I think we now know why O'Reilly didn't come on tonight. No way does Jason go up against him in an interview on an emergency host fill in. Jason said he was suffering from the "bubons", which is another way of saying he's sick. Must have been a bad one if he decided to skip a night. I don't know if I could take Jason on a regular basis. Perhaps in a situation like tonight, and without sharing it with Samantha. I miss Wyatt. I wish he were still at TDS. He would have been an excellent fill in host. Get well Jon, and hurry back.

Of course the right wants you to panic, because it's a convenient way for them to blame Obama for ebola coming into America, the fucking dipshits. Took a lot of guts for Stephen to scribble on the cover of James MacPherson's book.

That was one of the things TDS used to do. Take video clips from foreign countries and "translate" them to something funny, like the North Korean news clip. They should continue doing that again. So what was the point of Jordan at the UN? Apart from him wandering around the UN General Assembly.

Quite embarrassing for NASA to keep women down during their space program. Especially since the Soviets had already sent women into space. At least they came around in a big way with Sally Ride and others after her.