Victor the Crab

Couldn't give a shit about the royal wedding. Hell, I personally couldn't give a shit about regular weddings, period. Maybe the Harry and Meghan nuptials were a needed distraction from the shitshow that's going on right now, mostly caused by Drumpf. But even in the best of times they are too much, like the coverage of the William and Kate wedding. I hope Ollie is right, and that John Bolton will be kicked to the curb, or steps down, because of his gross incompetence. But I've got a bad feeling that he will stick around for quite awhile. People like that tend to stick it out because they have personal motives of their own that they want carried out. Jeff Sessions is another person that comes to mind.

Actually Bill, I wouldn't want to live in a country where the ruling government goes out of its way to treat people like shit. Whether it's someplace that has Sharia Law, or your beloved Israel which treats the Palestinians there like garbage. Interesting that Bill would go from saying, a year ago, that Drumpf wouldn't finish out the year as president to now saying he's never going to leave. But he does make a point. No one's going to stop the fat orange bastard from doing what he wants. Republicans are too terrified of angering his base of idiots - not to mention he does what they want him to. Democrats can't get their shit together, and even if they do manage to win back the House and Senate - a daunting task, both - won't have the power to impeach him. Drumpf's just going to continue wiping his fat ass all over the White House and nobody and nothing can stop him. He'll continue serving his term in office - and I wouldn't rule out him getting a second term - never, ever having to pay a price for his evil ways. Just like he always does.

Trevor is absolutely correct in stating that Terry Crews is a very, very funny man. The first time I came across him was in those Old Spice commercials where he acted as a counter to the suave sophisticated "Look at me, ladies" guy. All of his ads can be seen right below. Trust me, they will be worth the nearly six minutes of your life you've wasted. :D

Fox News has ALWAYS been nothing but a right wing propaganda machine that likes to convince everyone it's a legitimate news outfit, "unlike" the other news channels in the Liberally Biased Mainstream Media™. No one's ever going to successfully call them out because others have ethics they stand by and are too chickenshit to call Fox News out, lest they feel they're going to get exposed for whatever faults they may have. And because Fox News doesn't give a fuck what people think about their methods, which is why a living piece of shit like Hannity will never, ever be released from the network, unless he's caught up in some major sex scandal, which will never happen because as Samantha Bee said a while ago, who'd want to have sex with that said piece of shit. But give kudos to Trevor for covering more and more of the awfulness that is Fox News. At the beginning, nobody thought he'd pay much attention to it. But since Drumpf became president, he's had to show more of how dangerous they have truly become. Especially now seeing that they have grown into a symbiotic relationship with the tangerine nightmare.

I don't give a bowl of pig's shit just how "super chill" (stoned) that Bernie girl was. I consider her as big a fucking idiot as the InfoWars "journalist" who was lamely asking such unbelievably ignorant questions.

Eat shit and go fuck yourself, Killer Mike! You're a big part of the reason why Drumpf is in the White House, because you think your precious idol Bernie didn't get the Democratic nomination you thought he deserved because Hillary and the mean Democrats stole it from him, even though Hillary got more than three million more votes than the old coot. So you didn't go vote for her. Karma needs to crack your skull open. Anyone else think Bill nailed it with his Vito Corleone impression?

Will they make a cold open out of it?

Remember this from last year? Samantha and FF have since changed the titling of their clip about Eric Schneiderman to reflect the vile nature of his actions against the women he was having affairs with. You can only assume Samantha will say something about all that on tomorrow night's show. And, more importantly, HOW she will say it.

I'm surprised Ollie didn't bring up Star Wars Day (May 4) in the second filler.

Is Bill a fucking hypocrite or what? Does he think we're all a bunch of dumb asses? Last year, he went on about how it was acceptable to fat shame people if they're overweight, yet he chastises those for doing just that to Amy Schumer over her movie I Feel Pretty. We all have long memories, Bill. Your attempt at constantly attacking liberals for whatever is lame and unwarranted in the age of Drumpf. Smarten the fuck up. I think it's something else. I think there are people who are deliberately avoiding him because they may be getting tired of his attitude and behavior. It might have had something to do with him casually blurting the "n-word" on his show eleven months ago. Perhaps it was his Milo interview and how he defended that little troll. When was the last time we saw Rachel Maddow on his show? Not only that, I've noticed he doesn't make the news show/talk show circuits for quite awhile, or that he gets interviewed in magazines. And we know how he loves to pimp himself out to these outlets to speak his mind. Whatever, he certainly hasn't been the same since Drumpf became president.

Seeing (Cheryl) Charlotte eat, then paint on the jail walls, what we all thought was her own shit, but thankfully turned out to be Capitaine Ray's chocolates, had me believing she went far beyond the levels of sanity that her original character was willing to go.

I definitely get Samantha questioning this Blue Wave™ that's supposed to wash the American political landscape in the midterms, six months from now. But she and the show need to do a better job of why that is rather than send Amy off on another pro Drumpf rally and talk to the same idiot Drumpf supporters. Aside from that, I loved Samantha eviscerating Sarah Huckabee Sanders, because she is a terrible, awful person. And I can never get enough of Mark Zuckerberg getting a verbal beatdown. It should always be noted to everyone that the foundation for Facebook was a site Zuckerberg and his fellow douchebros at Harvard created for themselves to grade female students at the school, fucking creeps.

The dilemmas of producing a live to tape show. Between the time Stephen interviewed Michael Avenatti and when the show and interview was broadcasted, Rudy Giuliani told Sean Hannity, on live TV, that Drumpf was indeed fully aware of Michael Cohen paying $130,000 to Stormy Daniels to be quiet about their affair (and nearly causing a massive stroke in "Lumpy"). And Avenatti goes on Lawrence O'Donnell's show, live an hour later, to gleefully talk about Giuliani spilling the beans. Stephen must have been exasperated - and somewhat amused - by that. Can't wait to see his response to all of it.

The mere thought of giving consideration to Drumpf for the Nobel Peace Prize is physically nauseating. Henry Kissinger looked more deserving of his award than Drumpf ever will.

Loved seeing "Stephen" again and how he described the WHCD. He's a genius! (Jordan Klepper, take notes). And what made it even better was how Stephen reacted in fear and disgust to his right wing alter ego.

Bill: "Why can't these women stop picking on, and ruining, these poor men just because they wanted to have sex with them. BOOOO!" Roseanne Barr is, to say the least, a very confused person. How can she talk about the struggles of the lower middle class in America when she supports a loathsome individual, in Drumpf, who only sees the lower middle class as rubes to be suckered for his own benefit. How can she actually bring up gender identity - through Darlene's young son - when her hero is trying to kick out trans people from the military. Jimmy Kimmel asked her all that and she just curst him and told him that Mike Pence, the guy who would replace him, is far worse. Roseanne is not just confused. She is, to say the most, a very stupid person. Of course, if she was a huge Hillary Clinton supporter I still wouldn't give a shit what she has to say because... she's Roseanne.

I don't know which was funnier. Drumpf's non stop verbal shitting on live TV, or the couch tumors of Fox and Friends just sitting there with their mouths open at the sheer stupidity of Drumpf's verbal shitting. Nevertheless, that was a thing of shadenfreude beauty,

I don't know if I'm going to like the parrot Crackers. Krieger was my favorite Archer character because he was this so-called mad scientist who was more weird and goofy than mad and was into a lot of strange stuff (Rush notwithstanding) that made him somewhat appealing. Crackers seems to be more of the wisecracking sidekick that we've seen in many a movie before.

I'm shocked...SHOCKED...that Drumpf lied about his wealth. But Trevor is right that it isn't going to make a difference. And the reason is because of the following segment. Racism. Those white people think that what they're doing isn't racism and it's no big deal? Fuck yeah they are and it IS a big deal, and they need to be called out on their blatant racism loudly and as many times as possible.

Yeah Bill, Democrats and other liberals should listen to you and do exactly what you say if they have "any chance of winning in November", like take up one of your hobby horses such as weed legalization - or is it bashing Muslims or political correctness? Because you were soooo successful the last time there were midterms (hint: NOT!) Jordan Peterson should go eat a bag of huge dicks. Preferably, with Alex Wagner stuffing them down his big mouth. And there should be some leftover for Bill to choke on. Like he was "thinking" early last June when he dropped the "n" word. For Bill, his lame excuse is he was making a "joke", which is always his go to excuse whenever one of his jokes falls flat or just outright sucks, because he thinks that because he supports groups like the LGBTQ community or African American people he's entitled and privileged to make lewd jokes about them without repercussions. Yet others in his field, like Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, and Trevor Noah, never go down this road and are successful at being funny and getting their message across. Last year, Anthony Atamanuik as Drumpf on The President Show was training with U.S. soldiers who are trans, as well as being grilled by a Marine drill sergeant who was also trans. You think Bill would grow up and come up with something along those lines?

Everything about last night's episode was awesome. Especially where Samantha ripped that vile shit Sean "Lumpy" Hannity to bloody shreds. And it's made even more frustrating everytime Samantha goes off on her lengthy hiatuses, like the one she just came back from.

I'm not sure that I've ever laughed as hard about anything Stephen has done than with his response last night to Sean "Lumpy" Hannity being revealed as Michael Cohen's third client. I think we all wanted to do that to ourselves. Would have been better if Jon had managed to pop in and share in all this schadenfreude glory.

I thought Trevor calling out James Comey for calling Drumpf bad names while professing his love for his country was rather dumb. Given the shabby way Drumpf treated him, Comey's certainly within his right to go after him like that, especially now that he's a private citizen. Of course, Trevor would have been better off questioning Comey's love for America after he reopened the Hillary Clinton email investigation a week and a half before the election, which managed to budge the presidency, slightly and questionably, to Drumpf. Something, no matter how much disinfectant he tries to put on himself, should leave a bad stench on Comey for the rest of his life. If there's one thing Starbucks is known for, besides their overpriced drinks, is their willingness to let people come in and hang around their store for as long as they want. Even to use their washrooms. So the recent arrests of two African American men in Philadelphia for doing what they've always allowed people to do before, should shame Starbucks to their marrows. Especially with TDS portraying Dolce as a black 911 responder dealing with people calling about African Americans making them nervous, which was fucking hilarious. Jeanine Pierro is a goddamn waste of oxygen.

Except that it's Ari's job to cover the news, and Ollie's job to make fun of the news, which includes showing how stupid people like Ari look when they do shit like that.

He's no Eminem. He looks fucking ridiculous.