VanSensei

This isn't really related to the episode per se, but the season as a whole: Jesus FUCKING Christ, enough with the "it's all or nothing" theme song. I never want to hear that again in my entire life. At least the couples don't seem to hate each other compared to the venereal disease of a show the last two seasons were.

They only get an hour of the aftershow live... so maybe they'll announce it on Kimmel or GMA tomorrow?

Uh oh, more Chad. The fact that he hasn't murdered a guy on TV yet is surprising.

No, but they both looked ill-fitting. They looked like they'd be too tight if either one of them ate a calorie more.

Look, Jojo should just quote Purple Rain when talking about Robbie, dammit.

Before Jordan proposed, he faced Lambeau, prostrated and made an offering to St. Aaron Rodgers (cheese be upon him).

Part of me hopes Jojo and Jordan don't ever procreate. I mean, good God - the offspring of the Bachelorette and the brother of Wisconsin's very own St. Aaron Rodgers! The kid couldn't even take a shit without paparazzi looking at him.

As someone who went to a community college then transferred to a state university last year away from home, I agree. I think she'll get used to it.

Wait a minute, what the fuck? Isn't raining on your wedding good luck? Breaking on Married at First Sight: Breathing, shitting, eating - all bad luck.

And also: one of the new experts has a communications degree, a law degree (JDs are not doctorates - at all), is licensed as a hypnotherapist AND a life coach. I seriously have to wonder how the fuck you get to that. I knew the legal turnover rate was high, but jeez.

I'll say it once, I'll say it again: That's how you cast a porno.

Let's do this shit. *holds nose*

They would have to disinfect the entire city of Irvine after that.

Not as bad as Married at First Sight - that fucking venereal disease of a program - but still awful. How do they keep getting couples who are fundamentally horrible for each other? They have a 100% success rate on that, at least.

Waiting for the day that someone's hometown is some Midwest town with eight houses and a yet-to-be-demolished empty strip mall.

Come the fuck on, you're shedding tears over four guys, Jojo. One of them will pop the question and then break up with you on the plane ride back, two of them will go have normal lives and Jordan Rodgers will never leave the public spotlight. He was on the Bachelorette and his brother is Wisconsin's idea of a canonized saint.

I consider it a miracle of divine proportions if the other two last three years.

Wait. Isn't Seattle as or more expensive than NYC? Couldn't they just split the difference and go to like, the Midwest or something? They'd be paying much less. God almighty, with today's interest rates, they could get a McMansion with an 8-car garage and a butler who will hokey pokey on cue for what they're paying in New York. There's Orthodox Jews everywhere. If that fails, maybe Jersey or Pennsylvania. They're not far from NYC then.

Yeah, I have no idea what possessed those two to ever wed. Some people change politically, but rarely.

I give both of them 3 years.

Why does Oscar the Grouch reincarnated into an adolescent and then bathed into slime - aka Travis not have an amp? Go to a pawn shop and get an acoustic guitar for like, $30. No one wants to hear your ratty ass electric guitar without an amp.

1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Also the last time Travis showered.

FUCK this stupid little insipid man-child Ben!!! In what world does he get off thinking he can treat Vicki like an indentured servant?!! Fucking guy! UGH, Vicki needs to get out there, file an annulment and maybe look for love somewhere else. She's in New York for fuck's sake, only Israel itself is more Jewish. She could find a much better guy.

I have a long winded thing coming VERY soon at 9PM EST. The gloves come off! It's like Ali vs Frazier in this motherfucker!

Reason #15,587 that most 18-21 year olds aren't ready to get married. Signed, that demographic!