MaKaM

I know on one episode of a tiny house show, the girl just loved the outswinging front door because it allowed more space in the house. Would anyone like to guess which side the hinges were on? Yeah. Stupid. A friend is considering getting some land and putting two tiny houses on it. She saw something similar on one of the tiny house shows with a living/entertaining house and a bedroom house. They wouldn't be mobile ones but she wants lofted bed areas. I think she is nuts but the tiny house craze claims another victim.

So I've been thinking about this too and part of the reason it seems that they have to keep their eyes on the kids all the time is that there is so much more to kill them now. I mean, we had LEGO and Barbie shoes but when a sequin from a dress can be inhaled and cause years of medical issues (thank TLC for planting that one in my brain), or the TV can fall on them, or porn can be accessed, or the kid can go outside and then CPS be called on you for your unsupervised child...well, it is no wonder people are paranoid. I mean, I saw a news article where a lady left the sleeping baby in the car to go pay for gas and was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. With all the mommier-than-thou types out there, people are paranoid about anything happening to their kid. Kid shows up to school with a bruise? Bad parenting! They've got to say how much they love entertaining or else we will think they are total losers with no friends. ;-)

Which is, of course, super if you live in Asia where houses are possibly designed with that in mind. If you are searching in Podunksville, IN, requiring a bunch feng shui things to be present in an already-built house is stupid. Build a house if it is such a requirement, silly house hunters. :-P I've seen the ones that require a certain number not be in the address or that it face a certain direction and it is lovely your incredibly generous budget allows you to eliminate perfectly fine house for silly reasons--oh, wait, it always seems to be the house hunters with tight budgets that have such picky requirements. Yeah, probably producer encouraged. Still a peeve.

The one that kills me lately is that people just "hate" houses with a staircase by the front door. News flash, home buyers, 80% or more of 2 story houses have floor plans that include staircases near the front door. Know why? Probably many reasons. But having a staircase front and middle of the house allows you to utilize all the exterior walls for windows for bedrooms. It also often allows for your "grand" entrance because builders will sacrifice the small footprint of a staircase opening to allow for a 2 story foyer (aside: my house has a staircase right as you open the door but the the space above was given to the master closet upstairs so I do not have a soaring entryway). The number of 2 story houses that have the staircase somewhere in the back is minuscule compared to the traditional staircase-at-the-front-door layout. Maybe it was done that way for fire escape or for fighting off bandits, maybe it is just something we inherited from Europe for no reason, but it is consistent across a majority of floor plans. Stop bitching because the traditional house you are looking at has a staircase that is visible from the front door. Also HH needs to find a new shtick. I am tired of couples who must have a certain style of house that is exactly opposite to their significant other's must-have style. Every single person on this show simply can't be that obsessed with a style enough to make it fight worthy. "Oh, this house is a craftsman, I guess this one wasn't chosen for me." "I hate it, it isn't an Acadian." "I MUST have a spanish style...in Minnesota." Die, producers, die. Quit making these people look like fools or you'll stop getting signups. The guy who didn't want any columns, even on porches was a head scratcher. Dude, what the hell do you think holds a porch up? Magic? I can see not wanting the columns on the inside as I don't particularly like that look either and would rather have walls than a multitude of columns to run into, but on the outside of the house? Get over yourself.

Today's episodes: Random Thoughts: B'Elanna is convicted of passing on violent thoughts to a telepathic race. Meh. Seemed like a retread of the one where Paris was going to get his mind tinkered with after he committed a "murder". And if you were part of a society that was so damn sensitive to violent thoughts, why wouldn't you warn visiting aliens? Or, you know, not visit with aliens? Concerning Flight: Janeway and Da Vinci go flying. Fluff. The story was stupid and contrived and if you were fleeing bad guys who were shooting at you, would you really stop and argue philosophy with a hologram? Tap, tap, tap on the mobile emitter and he is deactivated. Also, maybe you don't want to blow up a ship that just stole a bunch of your stuff. And letting everyone just get away with stealing your stuff calls you out as a sucker. Mortal Coil: Neelix dies and is brought back but has lost his faith in his afterlife. I'm going to have to watch it again, but I think this one is going up on the shelf with DS9's The Visitor as a best episode. It was subtle and touching and thought provoking. A+ episode. Both Neelix and Chakotay got real stuff to do and did it well. Too bad about the rest of the series. I really loved this one. Waking Moments: Aliens put everyone in a dream sleep to kill them (?). Motivation was unclear. Waking people were mean to them when they inserted themselves into nightmares? I don't know. It was weird. Chakotay got to carry on being a bit more mystical from the last one and it worked okay. The fact that everyone ended up afraid to go to sleep seemed very realistic. Message in a Bottle: Doctor transfers to a ship in the Alpha Quandrant and thwarts a Romulan takeover. A romp. Lots of fun. Andy Dick was even bearable. Hunters: The Hirogen don't like Voyager using their communications array. 7 and Tuvok get to try bondage if that's your thing. Harry worrying about not getting a message was just stupid. Like his helicopter mother wasn't going to send a note and he was going to be left out. No one believed that for a moment. Though it was a lost character development moment because seeing how he would react if he didn't get one could have been interesting. Prey: The Hirogen hunt Species 8472, 7 gets all insubordinate. It looked like it was an action episode but it was really a cerebral one. Janeway learned she can't compel someone in the crew to do her whim and Seven learned that individual actions have consequences. Good acting. And the Hirogen are somehow really good looking despite the rubber. Maybe it is the eyes? Somehow their spots and lumps work significantly better than Neelix's do. Or am I just hallucinating from Star Trek OD? Maybe it was just Tony Todd I love (and damn, he is a tall dude).

Oh yeah, you have to just accept each episode basically as a stand alone. Don't expect any grand storytelling like you would get from an HBO or AMC show. You can't expect too much growth from characters other than the Doctor or Seven and continuity was definitely abandoned all over the delta quadrant. They tried some interesting things that often didn't work, but some things did. Really, if they had spent another year developing the characters and the story instead of having to rush it to launch with the UPN start, man, what coulda been. I don't love the "feature film" look of the trailer for the new series but maybe I'll come around. I like my Star Trek slightly campy somewhat logical. I know TOS timeframe is the current hotness but maybe someday they could redo VOY in the new alternate universe. Ah dreams. It is also possible to romanticize the other series--the first two seasons of TNG were nonstop duds (Code of Honor and Justice need to be wiped from the collective intelligence), you can't forget the Yangs and the Kohms from TOS or the number of "developed exactly like Earth but with this one difference!" episodes, and well, I don't remember any DS9 episodes I truly hated but I haven't watched in 15 years but there were probably one or two. Maybe one. Enterprise had the gel rubdown scenes and the male-pregnancy trope to trip over (there might have been more/worse episodes, but the town I was in at the time didn't have a UPN station so I missed most of that show). Voyager suffered mostly from unevenness and timidity of vision (or hand tying from the network). The only characters I disliked were Jealous!Neexlix who luckily lost that ugly trait early on and Playboy!Paris which also stopped being a thing early. I was not a fan of Kes and her phonesex voice so I wasn't upset when she was kicked to the curb though she was criminally wasted as a character. Slightly OT: I am putting VOY above the reboot movies. While there were stupid parts of VOY, they never took a suspended cadet who snuck aboard a ship and promoted him to Captain within a day or two--Hell, Harry couldn't get a promotion from Ensign in SEVEN YEARS. Oh, and no VOY Captain tried to goad the first officer into murder while the rest of the crew just stood around with their thumbs up their butts. I won't even start on the heckles for the second reboot movie. That was Star Trek V bad too. Hell, that was Star Trek NEMESIS bad. Haven't seen the third and have no desire to see it based on the quality (or lack thereof) of the first two.

I've been watching on BBC America and man, I wish we could just reboot Voyager (though not with the stupid lens flare). I liked it when it aired, hated it 10 years ago, but like it again now. It was exactly what we expected of our TV in the 90s but neutered by UPN's fear of financial collapse and adverseness to any interesting conflict/ideas. Start with the first episode--interesting plot, so many holes. Water is rare? In space? How about capturing a comet or two, Caretaker, instead of ships? Maybe relocate the Ocampa to a new planet. But thanks for (apparently) cleaning all the dead bodies off the ship because after 3 days, they sure would start to stink and doing some repairs (I mean, check out the difference between when they were kidnapped out of sickbay and when they returned and we all know the Doctor didn't do the repairing) while the crew is probulated. Oh, and Useless Original First Office--"brace for impact" doesn't mean run across the bridge like a fool. Etc. The bones were there for some really interesting stories, conflicts, relationships, etc but they chickened out each time. With the benefit of hindsight, they could tighten up the stories, make things that happened the previous week impact the second week, etc. It could be more serialized rather than "alien/conflict of the week". Like the whole first season could have been the integration of the crews. Dealing with their dead. Picking up Kes some other way that doesn't include a relationship with Neelix. Decide if they are going to do the "resources are limited" thing constantly or never because doing it only for the first few seasons and then just dropping it was half-assed. Set out a final number of shuttlecraft that the ship has and don't let lazy writers destroy one for the hell of it. Stop sending senior officers out in shuttlecrafts for reasons to get into drama lazily. Find a job for Harry. Reuse extras more to bring home the fact that the ship is limited in people. Hell, mention that you are having trouble filling duty rosters because of all the people killed in random away missions. After rewatching, Threshold was awful (oh, God, it really was Star Trek V bad) but had some good dialog that saved it for me. Twisted and Coda are my two least favorite episodes on rewatch. Twisted is stupid and lazy with a dose of extra stupid as these idiots can't find their way around their own ship and still keep bumblefcking around like it ain't no big thing. And at the end they just give up and and it is over. Coda was just a mess--what parts were in Janeway's head, what was the point of killing her a few times, why bother with the father figure junk, etc. Awful. Threshold had a point (a stupid one that made no sense) and it followed a logical order. Coda hopped around with no point until the end and the bad guy is defeated by being told to go back to hell. Yawn. But overall, it is a sense of an opportunity wasted.

Young couple in Chicago--guy was Sanjay, can't remember the girl's name but she needed space for her hammock. I have the same hammock and I 100% agree with the necessity of having a spot for it. It is the best place in my house to hang out. I also liked the brick wall they added, it looked much better than I expected it would for being done by homeowners. I wouldn't be a huge fan of the train in the backyard, but that is par for the course in Chicago and my brother's house backs up to a train track and it does eventually become bearable.

So there was an episode today about an older lady looking for a luxury island home in Nova Scotia(?) so she could have like 20 friends over. Well, she clearly didn't pick the island with a rustic cabin or the island with the nice-but-antique houses. She got a 1/7th share of a super-fancy house that they never mentioned how her share is divided. Like does she get a permanent bedroom, is it on a weekly timeshare basis, monthly? Has no one else bought in (for $2.something million) and she gets to be there full time? I missed the beginning because I was under the impression it was going to be her home but I don't think you can live permanently in an equity share house so she must have a house somewhere else. The house was fantastic though. Not sure if it was $14 million fantastic, but super nice for sure. I'd have picked the vintage house island because there was totally enough space to subdivide and make back some money.

I especially respect that she has no problem not dressing to the nines or looking or acting absolutely perfect when shown on the show. Could you imagine Christina from Flip or Flop, or the other blonde robot from the other Flip or Flop (Aubrey? Bristol? I don't know which is which) showing up with their hair looking even slightly not "done"? Or the Property Brothers without their carefully trimmed scruff? I mean, there was one episode where Chip had a major sweat ring on his head where his hat had been and Joanna admitted to not knowing what saucers were on camera. I like 'em because they are at least somewhat real and willing to show something other than "perfection".

So I caught a rerun with the couple that bought a house that had an enclosed front porch that they removed--kinda a storybook cottage-ish house. Jo's style is pretty consistent, so the interiors blend so I can't tell you more about the episode. BUT, when they were showing the house, the next door house looked like their "giraffe" flip house. Anyone else notice that? I am not sick of them, but the issue of them only wanting to do a few episodes a year so they can focus on their other stuff and family does make for some repetitive viewing. And I am guessing that the "strange" episodes were HGTV compromising with them on having more hours of film with them doing projects for themselves. I have been finding different channels to watch lately since the Home Town people don't really appeal (though maybe they'll settle in and be a little more natural), the new Flip or Floppers are unbearable to listen to (similar to the original flip or floppers who I always hoped would flop and frequently wished Izzy-the-contractor was the star of the show), and I am tired of the Property Brothers. gotta watch the Good Bones ladies to see if I still like them. I do still like Chip and Joanna and will tune in when there are new episodes--Chip is clearly one clever mofo and even if the world turns on them tomorrow and hates everything Magnolia, I expect he has a plan B, C, and D all ready to go. HGTV is in a rut of only caring about finishes with a few "drama" structural moments, but really, how much time can we watch Clint lathe table legs?

And the way she says it in her robot voice makes me want to stab my ears out. You'd think HGTV would get their "talent" some voice/camera lessons before setting them loose on an unsuspecting world.

Watching this show reminds me how much I loved shows with Sarah Richardson (and Tommy!) and ones with Mike Holmes (and Damon!). Hell, I'll even take Candace Olsen's fake drama and overwrought delivery over these goobers. Aside from Chip and Joanna, small doses of the Property brothers, Egypt, and the Good Bones ladies, HGVT has fallen off a cliff in quality.

Just watched that one too and I think they were planning on ousting the grandparents from their house at some point and putting them in the Tiny House. He worked for her dad and she sold 31 or whatever so they weren't setting the world afire financially and then three kids under 4? Yeah, interesting choices for marginal income. At least each one having to sleep in a different loft with the kids meant that child number 4 will be a while in appearing. I am also thinking kiddoes got sleepovers at grandma and grandpa's frequently and 95% of their stuff was probably over there too. They were idiots. And really, where are you going to tow that thing around the country? At least they didn't go with the one with the bumpouts that you could see daylight through the gaps around. In South Dakota that seems like a terrible design.

I posted this earlier in the thread but it was easy to miss. The contractor has a blog where she talked about the renovation Post 1 Post 2 An HGTV followup really would be interesting since it seems like even more crap hit the fan before they finished.

If the Vet's Assistant was auditioning to be an adult Hannah Montana in an upcoming Disney movie, she should have it in the bag. That said, while I wasn't a fan of her hair color, she definitely was managing to look younger than she actually was so props to her. I liked her but I will agree that a lot of her choices were not mine. The wallpaper and the painting the bathroom tiles both seemed like missteps. And I wasn't a huge fan of the pink. I think I stopped paying attention for the bathroom reveal, did it look weird? I liked the teal cabinets and the aquarium was quirky but it was in the extra bar area so it isn't like it was a wall of the master bedroom or something. I never really "got" fish keeping but if you had to have an aquarium, an out of the way place like that seemed like the best option. I did like the color of the vinyl but the cost was just boggling. It must have been the highest of the high end because that wasn't more than what, 400 or 500 extra square feet?

Well, a lot of celebs have said they watch HGTV and HouseHunters in particular. Maybe the El Segundo wife was thinking one of them would see her and cast her in their next movie. ;-) HGTV sure is pushing the brass/gold and the patterned concrete tiles. If black and white ones are in now, how long until it is orange paisleys that are "in"? I am asking because my mom is about to remove some of her 70s flowery tiles and maybe she should hold off...

It wasn't House Hunters but something called "Half-Price Paradise" but exactly the same aside from the title. The family was moving from Minnesota and were looking Nassau, TX (where NASA is so talk about a tongue twister!) and what you could get for $300k was just amazing. Waterfront or at least canal front. If it were on House Hunters, it would be a classic: a house that had French Provincial furniture for the kitchen, hot tub at the top of the stairs--open to the master bedroom, gilt pillars everywhere with statuary on all the ones that weren't "supporting" the ceiling. The hunters were very kind about not trashing the house where crazy (or at least super-eccentric) lives.

With the white cabinets replacing the cherry wood of the 00s, I wonder if it is because painting cabinets to update on the cheap became a thing. You can paint cabinets white, but you can't paint them cherry wood and with the crash in 06 people weren't going out and buying new cabinets, they had to make do with what they had or were able to make. You would think that would make white or gray painted cabinets so down market but it hasn't seemed to. I am thinking about hopping on the "shiplap" bandwagon because I have a crappily finished drywall wall that some idiot (me) put up and can't mud well enough to look decent and covering it with thin pieces of plywood cut into 8" strips and whitewashed seems like an easy way to avoid mudding some more. And barnwood is expensive. And wallpaper needs a good surface to be applied too. I can wield a nail gun, just not the spackle knife. Doubtless this will make my house look dated in a few years, but it will be someone else's problem to get the drywall looking good at that point. :-D I don't usually notice vocal fry, but there was a couple looking at an island home in SanFran (Alameda? Nuclear wessles?) and I could not deal with her voice. I hope that trend dies soon. I didn't care what she said about any of the houses (and they seemed like a nice couple), I just wanted her to stop speaking.

So, definitely re-thinking some of my life decisions (college, mechanical engineering degree, masters, etc) when a Weird Al knockoff-puppeteer (whose man-child-ness was very wearying) and his make-up artist fiancee have a $1.3 million house hunting budget. ETA: I did not like how the greenish backsplash tiles looked with the orangey tile floor.

I believe that is called "gray water" and in most places, the rules about its disposal are not as strict as potty water.

There was a couple in Seattle yesterday--she had really long hair and he was originally from Singapore(?). I missed what house they picked. I am assuming not the dome house, right? The "fireman" pole and animal print carpet made me think it might need a serious fumigation before move-in day.

But only with blue or gray cabinets (which really, gold and blue is so classic I forgive it for being gold/brass). Still not good as your shower surround. :-) I don't mind "open concept" or the like. I assume the House Hunters have been watching the show for the last 20 years as we have and these words are just the norm now. I do wonder when the whole "white kitchen" trend will die and what will follow it. (don't get me wrong, my dream kitchen back when cherry and black granite were the trends was a white kitchen with sand colored counters and beach-glass backsplash but I have white bedroom furniture and the dust just settles into every design detail. So am just peachy with my natural wood colored kitchen cabinets that came with the house). So what is next, dust colored kitchens? Black kitchens? Red kitchens? Acryllic kitchens? Seems like cement tiles have been getting a lot of airtime--wonder if they are subway's replacement. I don't see stainless appliances leaving any time soon--yeah fingerprints but our old white fridge also had to be wiped down or it looked dingy. The black stainless I think we'll see/hear more if the sponsors start pushing it harder. Appliances with built in LED screens so you can change the design on them hourly? I caught one of the "Christmas" themed episodes a few weeks ago and I laughed and laughed. The couple was in NY and it was 100% obvious the producers made them discuss Christmas shit as they hunted. No one looks through their boxes of holiday stuff right after they move, in NY, when the leaves on the trees are still bright green. I hate producer manipulation crap like that. Srlsy, we are addicted at this point. No drama needed. No petulant looking nanny wife wondering where she will craft while engineer husband commandeers the best room in the $900,000 house to be his tinkering room. Show us the house porn!

I am with you. At this point, we've all heard the years of "cherry, granite, stainless" and now the "white, quartz, stainless". It gets dull. Until there is a new fashion, you'd think they could do something with the mechanicals or location of the house. Maybe they need to get one of the HVAC companies to sponsor before that happens. Heck, get a green car sponsor and they can talk about how they can live farther out from the city because their commute will still be ecologically responsible.

Homebrewing house hunters. I didn't hate them but the director sure loved tight closeups and sticking the camera in weird spots. In the oven, in the microwave, up in the chandelier. I was shocked when it wasn't stuck in the toilet.