HappyDancex2

put 911 on speed dial

Because they want a bigger time commitment out of us than some of these couples give each other?

When Darcey says "love" all I hear is "dutch penis."

Here comes the BIG FAT FAKE BREAKUP! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE!

Hazel's lower lip swallow is starting to bug me. I'm easily annoyed LOL. Like I have no Roni made either.

Hazel sometimes looks like she has spray on bangs.

Sliding in late....Rachel has highlights! Keep your head up Merc -- hope we can make you laugh tonight

Body makeup. However I’m not buying her “legacy” stripper story. She’s only been doing it for 5 years. If she was really serious about her legacy career she’d have gone that route much earlier and worked on her body, found some men to get her plastic surgery and tried to maximize her time on stage. She’s a situational stripper. Like I’m a situational Rice a Roni eater.

I have a ring holder next to the sink. FYI I originally bought a pretty crystal one however when I took my ring in for a checkup the jeweler noticed scrape marks on the inside of the ring. I then found a wood one on Etsy that is a little dog and you can put the rings on the dog’s tail. Prevents loss and accidental trips down the drain or disposal. If you are so inclined. Her story sounds flimsy but then maybe she’s as careless about a piece of jewelry from the Love of Her Life as she is meticulous with her birth control.

You’ve never seen School of Rock? Cute movie. Mike White plays the teacher that Jack Black impersonates in the movie. (And that’s his character’s name)

Watching Ned Schneebly on this show was weirding me out. Considering he’s such a fan of the show his game play quite sucketh. i enjoyed having a challenge on the boat. The Goliath who bugged me the most was that first girl on the end who seemed smug and smirky at her superior tribe and only looked a little contrite when she found out that some people really don’t have the same options in life. She needs to find a can of gratitude and humility. octopus looked like a nice find until I saw it was chopped up raw with no salt or acid. Eeeep.

Well he does do the white boy boogie...and when he does it all the girls stick to him. #obscureValFacts

It hilarious that Jesse thinks that picture is so contemplative with his diesel underwear and jeans and all I see is horrible posture with cellphone neck.

Girl is so thirsty for fame and outside affirmation. If those tears are real she can’t believe you can sculpt, tan and surgery all you want but feel completely empty and judged. Hard lessons ahead. Her mom would be proud of her no matter what she did....

Doesn’t Val pick and design his own costumes like they all do? He just said “yeah take the fringed pant leg of that pant and make it her entire midsection.” Layers don’t make anyone who is thick waisted look slimmer. Black matte with tonal sparkle Val.... I do like the new “feel” of the format with the pros saying their own name....more recaps and information....it feels more casual. Break up the same old same ol so that’s nice. Mackenzie can’t sing. She was a good tumbler though.

Nikki was the right boot but she wanted to be there. Grocery No wants out so I wish he would have been the first one out. I really don’t think he will be around for long. A girl can hope right? Kendall...don’t even get me started. Do we get to snark post about the juniors? I mean they cast HBB and the Palin spawn so they are asking for commentary right? I’ll wait right here next to this elephant in the room....

I liked Tinashe and the new pro. Don't know who either of them are but she had great energy and attitude. I'll be interested to see her translate her skills to other types of dance styles. I did think the new pro did choreo a teeny bit "frenetic"....it was go go go and no pauses! Exciting but I got what the judges were saying. That being said , nice job. I think Keo is cool and I'd love to watch him dance with a pro. In all the seasons he's been on he just hasn't conformed to the formula or he never watches the tape back. Or if he does watch the tape back he isn't seeing what a lot of us see. He's just super dynamic with his body and if other pros are taking it down 50 percent he needs to take it down 75 percent to make it look like a proper pairing with an amateur. When he dances all I can see is him.....he is tall and powerful and just neat to watch. His movements are so crisp. Which unfortunately drowns out his partner and makes them less visible and even more unskilled compared to him. He just might not be capable of dancing down. I definitely would not have tuned in to watch last night if it didn't show up on my DVR. For me this came to lack of marketing. Or marketing in the wrong area. I remembered the announcement of the cast came out a bit ago but I had zero idea of when it was starting.

Artem is hotter with a little more weight on him. He’s getting too skinny through the face. And his partner is blind? Yikes. As a snowboarder I’ll tell you what I’m not doing is hurling myself down a mountain following the orange blur in front of me that is my husband. Um no way. And then jogging around a room and stepping down stairs all set to music? Nope to that too. I’m impressed. Artem needs to channel his inner Derek Hough and choreo the heck out of her story.

Pole is certainly the gif I mean gift that keeps on giving. Those angry huge pus filled zits raging on my screen were gross....she didn’t even think to pop them with a warm compress before filming on national TV? He’s sucked the life out of her...which is rather an ironic comment. Pole inserteth......

Grocery Store NO!!!! he ruined what was an otherwise surprisingly pleasant night. The people who I thought would be wrecks were watchable (dukes of hazard guy, Bobby screaming guy, facts of life lady) and no one was an outright ringer. There is room for improvement and charisma or fan bases can be great “it” factors. The comedian lady had odd posture. She reminds me of someone who is media thin but lacking in muscles or strength. He posture seemed like weak abs and noodle arms. She had a good attitude though. Joe was Joe....so glad he was never picked for the Bachelor. He’s just too boring. Felt bad for him though....considering how well the other non dancing contestants did tonight he really laid an epic egg. He can leave with Kendall tomorrow. I’d like to give the other contestants another week to dance and get some tv exposure. hey Bruno...gesticulate all you want but she’s blind, dude.

Coming in a future episode babe. More time to work on yourself babe Every week I think Big Ang can't surprise me any more and she delivers each time. Whether it's the fry level of her hair or the exposure level of her backless tops and plunging boob wranglers she is a truly a TLC gift that keeps on giving. In this 2 weeks of filming she is getting more wrinkled and dried out like fruit leather and Michael has aged 18 years. And that cake. Yikes that cake. I'm surprised she just didn't dip her paw in it and stuff it in her maw like a big bear. I am horrified. But then I had to imagine her putting frosting somewhere in one of michael's parts or cracks and I had to run screaming from the room. There was no Roni here tonight.

I'm going to go buy something in exploded buffalo check for next week

How can Karine be surprised when no one else is? She looks in the mirror and sees her face and body and she can't tell?????

I'm shocked!!!!! Said no one on the previouslytv forum ever

Darcey is so high maintenance I can hardly get my mind around it. She should have her own limo driver....her mindset is of the Rich but her bank account is too average.