yourmomiseasy

So, something happened in this episode that made me go "holy shit, that was amazing!" but now I can't remember what it was. I can't decide if I want to watch it again to remind myself or not. I think it had to do with Marissa either being especially smug or getting called out. Maybe it was when Juliette pointed out how Marissa was especially into things that she thought were so British just to appear more British, but I don't think that is what it was. That bath situation was weird. Like how do you even decide that's something you want to do? I already don't like baths, so hanging out and drinking in one for fun with a friend doesn't seem like a great idea to me. And then they were hours late to dinner because of it? Whatever. Annabelle's friend was kind of weird. I think maybe having a little too much to drink factored in. I did, however, love how into the drama he was and him giving loud recaps at the dinner table. I enjoyed the hunting dogs and how happy they were. I have cocker spaniels and even though they are a long time removed from their hunting roots, I can tell that one them would be besides herself if she ever went hunting. Her prey drive is ridiculously strong, but I'm a bad dog mom and won't spend the time training her and doing field work with her. I do play a lot of fetch with her, hide things around the house for her to find, and take her to chase pigeons at least once a week.

I think saying that Mr. Mapperton Sandwich abused benzos kind of implies it was a recreational and/or intentional thing on his part. My understanding is that he was medically misdiagnosed and prescribed drugs as part of a treatment plan. Then on top of being improperly prescribed drugs he didn't need, he wasn't weaned off them like you have to do with a lot of drugs, and the combination of the two things fucked up his brain chemistry pretty badly -- to the point where he was disabled and won a medical malpractice suit. He wasn't just popping a klonnie in the evening with a glass of wine to unwind.

I guess at least she can still move her face.

Whenever there's a close up of Vicki's face my eyes are drawn to her gaping maw and I can't look away. It's frightening and repulsive and her lips look like thick slabs of liverwurst or something to me -- I can't quite put my finger on what they remind me of, but it is some kind of gross meat. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her lips and felt kind of bad and shallow for being so grossed out by them. I think maybe you're right and it is just the shade of lipstick that I find so horrifying.

None of the dresses are great. I think Shannon would be the winner if she didn't have a line from her control top nylons or spanx. I guess Meghan is the winner by default. Heather and Meghan have the best makeup. Vicki just looks dumb, Tamara's dress's cutout is not cute and I think it makes her look thick in the torso, I hate Heather's sleeves. Maybe Shannon and Tamra would look better standing. Meghan should keep the brunette hair, it looks great. I say this all as I sit slouched on my couch in sweats. I don't really have anything else to comment on besides their looks. It was fairly boring. I agree with everyone that has posted about the story about Vicki's mom and I also agree with everyone on Earth that Vicki was rude to the sushi girl.

Vicki's neck is a situation I do not need to experience in HD. "I am the OG of the OC and do I expect respect." Someone needs to be introduced to reality and not in TV format. It is also nice to learn that Vicki is responsible for all housewife franchises.

Holy shit. I cannot believe a reality TV couples counselor is a real thing. What has this world become. I can't say much though because I'm obviously part of the problem by watching this dreck.

I was trying to figure out who the VERY large woman in those pictures was because they all looked tiny to me.

According to my dogs, the roomba already has.

That's what I said, but I got one anyway because it was only $99 and I could use it as a speaker for internet radio if nothing else and it looked cool. I really love it. Alexa is totally my favorite and most useful of all my robot companions. She's way better at stuff than any of my other voice activated crap. And I can use her to scare the dogs when I'm not home.

My mom is overly polite to both Alexa and Suri. It drives me nuts. She's like "Alexa, if you have a minute and it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you please tell me what is happening in the news today?" and then gets upset because they can't figure what she's talking about because she's using too many damn words. The more words there are to parse, the larger the window for errors. She in turn gets upset with me because she feels I am too brusque with my robot companions.

That would assume that Bravo cameras are around 100% of the time and nothing happens when cameras are not there.

Nothing to see here

Much like Leon, I have no business in any position in the service industry.

She's only 24? She was talking shit on Emile for only being 23 or 22.

I just want everyone to know that I made myself an amazing chicken quesadilla. I had some leftover rotisserie chicken breasts, cilantro, and grilled poblanos, a perfectly ripe avocado, and cacique dos quesos blend. I cooked it in a cast iron skillet, so it is crunchy on the outside and perfectly melty on the inside. I made a lime/mint agua fresca to go with. Leon should take notes.

Schweaty balls is the problem we're trying to solve. I'm glad Axe has stepped up to the plate on this serious issue.

This really made me think. I've never seen an ad for scented ball wash. Do guys not have to worry about picking the right perfumed ball wash for night and day like us ladies and our gross stinky "V"s? How are they going to feel confident enough to ask for raises or even just go grocery shopping if Axe doesn't get on this right away? Especially if they are following that English bint's advice and going cah-mahn-doh. Guys, your boss doesn't want to deal with your stinky schweaty balls while doling out your cost of living increase.

If not liking lazy belligerent jackasses makes you a bigot, then I guess I might be one too.

I went to a taping of this today. Before our episode began taping they showed the pilot and it was pretty bad. I think I actually groaned a few times (Nicky and Alex are still the worst). The 13 year old I was with thought it was great though and she's a big Full House fan. I was not looking forward to having to sit through the taping at all after seeing the pilot, but the episode we saw taped wasn't bad. The kids aren't that annoying and the show seemed more centered around the adults anyway. The boys actually made me laugh uncontrollably a couple of times -- the little one was hilarious between scenes. The writing was kinda clunky in a few places, but not the worst I've seen. All the returning characters seemed like themselves, most of all, Kimmie is still Kimmie. I don't know if I would watch if it was on regular TV, but since it is on Netflix I'll probably watch.

To be fair, he might have to prep and freeze some ingredients beforehand, so making a protein shake might have been more work than Leon is used to. I mean, it takes me about 5 minutes to do 3lbs of bananas, so I can understand Leon not wanting to invest that kind of time.

They cut to the Captain there observing a few times while Leon was being dicky. I wonder if he was really there or if it was just the editing monkeys. Captain Lee has said a few things during the preference meetings that have made me think he's over Leon's antics. Also, how hard is it to throw together protein shakes? Especially when the Captain specifically told you to make sure to be prepared for it. They have internet access, google it if you don't know what you are doing. Pulling out some premade shakes was unacceptable for what is basically a private chef. I wish Rocky had at least one bathing suit that didn't go up her ass. I'm so sick of seeing it. Connie's suit showed a little cheek too, but it wasn't assless like all of Rocky's seem to be. Dane yelling at the bartender for drinks and justifying it by he was going to leave a tip was gross. You'd think that someone in the service industry wouldn't act like that. He's messy. I'm glad he's gone. I cannot handle the vanity and self-centeredness of making a group of people sit and wait for 40 minutes while you do you hair and makeup and oil up. Especially when it is to go out on a boat where your hair and makeup are probably going to get messed up anyway. That sort of thing makes me totally aggro.

Upon rewatch, it appears that Pasture Mike wasn't actually standing in the group when Vicki compared herself to Jesus. His side eye was just edited in. This makes me sad.

I get flats all the time. Like it's a running joke because it is seriously ridiculous. I run over a lot of nails and occasionally hit a pothole or two. I don't even drive that much. I've had 3 flat tires and a broken rim all at once before. That's the worst I've done though, usually it's just one flat at a time, but occasionally I'll go in for one and they'll find a second. I've never missed an appointment because of them though. One time I totaled my car on the way to a dental appointment and had to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. I missed that appointment, but I called from the ambulance to let them know I'd need to reschedule.

So Juliet has been getting all her styling advice from a six year old. It explains a lot. You don't always have virtual strangers that your children have never met tuck said children into bed while you gossip with your ever-present make-up artist? I guess that's just me and Caroline then. I'm assuming Julie is just vegan for health reasons, not for ethical ones. I would feel sympathy for her, but what struck me is it all seemed to be about "poor me" and she had very little if any concern for her employees.