Rainsong

I don't believe it! I didn't watch her season but Grumpy Cat seems incapable of smiling.

IHRATPY (I Haven’t Read All The Posts Yet) so apologies for any redundancy. Unless you were privy to the spoiler (and I was), you could be excused for thinking Nick would ride his luck all the way to the Kaitlyn Trophy (?) with a big assist to one Mike Fleiss. Nick’s sand-in-a-swimsuit personality put everyone off him except the Bachelorette with only Shawn’s fear of prosecution for beating his rival into a pulp keeping Nick safe. Views on the finale in somewhat chronological order: credit where it’s due to Kaitlyn’s dishy mother, who outdid her daughter in the Eyelash Stakes and flirted shamelessly with both Bachelors. Her ‘can we talk privately?’ request of Nick or Shawn sounded like dialogue from a certain genre in adult-interest videos. She may want to rethink the lilac lipstick but the hair was top drawer. Her ex-husband was the classic low-key Canadian who was probably glad to turn Leslie over to the bloke with the Wild N Crazy Guy shirt and its psychedelic collar and cuffs and select a more demure model i.e. Kaitlyn’s stepmother who remained mute throughout. Ladies, you need to be honest with yourselves and ask if bare arms are right for you. Rhetorical questions abound even at this late stage, for instance, ‘Why is Kaitlyn worried about the F2 clashing?’ They don’t like each other. Simple enough. Most attractive girls wouldn’t be surprised by this and many of them would fully expect it. Nick remains squarely in the Fashion Disaster Zone with his denim-on-denim and misshapen V-neck shirt. With his unkempt hair, scraggly beard and those damn ubiquitous Chuck Taylors he looks like a refugee from a Gap ad from 10 years ago. It must have taken discipline to actually put on dress shoes with his suit. The brown abacus beads are still wrapped around his wrist. In keeping with his cringeworthy persona, he offered some historically awkward man hugs to Kaitlyn’s father and stepfather. The Mom Talk followed and Nick then turned on the waterworks. He really is a SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) right out of central casting. If this is his best sales pitch, I fear for his future employment. Kaitlyn’s sister offered a completely sincere Right Reasons statement, so I hope everyone had a drink handy. Kaitlyn’s family are apparently no strangers to an afternoon tipple or two! Memo to Shawn: you’re 6-2 or 6-3 with a 34 inch waist. Tuck the shirt in! No man hugs for Shawn, thankfully. The beach house has some odd-looking yellow Formica or tile columns – the 70s vibe is exceeded only by Kaitlyn’s dress which appears to be from the Jan Brady Collection. The parental blessings flow again – blessings are cheap and easy these days! Now it’s Nick’s turn again and the Bachelor music cues are getting loud, obvious and shopworn. A strummed acoustic guitar? A giggle at the carnival or some horseback riding. A plucked acoustic guitar? It’s LUUUURVE baby! Or at least Nick thinks it is. Nick, incredibly, has a NEW string of abacus beads – black ones this time. The reports that Kaitlyn had annoyed the producers more than once appear to be accurate, because we are back to The Budget Bachelorette. The big day out is on a modestly-sized catamaran that never leaves the harbor and Nick is transported on a shabby little outboard. Not exactly James Bond! The evening session is spent in a stock-standard hotel lounge until Nick offers a surprise ‘in his room.’ It all sounds like a John Hughes film. Kaitlyn looks as interested as someone waiting for a bus. Next, Shawn tries his luck at a winery and the set dressers have pressed the button marked ‘Prop Overkill’ as grapes, baskets, casks, etc. abound. These two are about to get engaged and they can’t muster some small talk? Shawn’s maddening habit of talking to his hands and the floor persists despite his stated infatuation with the person opposite. Later, during the night date, Shawn’s school-jock monotone is still going strong. His vocabulary could be printed out on one-sided paper and stapled and it would still slide under a door. Kaitlyn has continued the 70s revival with some capital-G Green eyeshadow and has mysteriously acquired long fingernails after a full season of stubs. Shawn offers the gift of the Memory Jar, because a golf ball rattling around inside a glass container is the sincerest expression of devotion. The rest of the episode was as rigidly structured as a Bollywood film. We had the usual morning routines (Kaitlyn sleeps in full makeup, hair done and in a robe, it seems) and meaningful stares at the horizon. The, er, well-preserved Neil Lane arrives with his black briefcase and makes an honest but futile effort to understand a single thing Nick says. Nick commits more fashion sin by wearing brown shoes with a blue suit and he’s STILL wearing his abacus. Neither of the Bachelors can be bothered to shave. Both Bachelors and CH have bought into the tight suit trend but tight suits pucker and ride up constantly thus defeating their purpose. The Badly Behaved Budget Bachelorette is not taken to a mountain peak, a tropical garden, or a canyon vista for her finale, but merely to…the deck of the Bachelor House pool i.e. the spot where drinks and bodily fluids have been spilled. How romantic! Britt must have been punching the air with relief when she saw that the ending of this season would have been a busman’s holiday for an LA girl. Kaitlyn tips off the result from the moment Nick appears. He is cut off mid-sentence and in the silence hears the sound of the guillotine being raised. Let the poor sod finish his speech at least! What happened to proposal-first-then-rejection? The gain on the microphones is cranked to 11 as we hear every footfall and sigh in glorious surround sound. Out goes Nick, who finally exhibits some authenticity as he flings away the Lane ring and his Irish one in a fit of anger. Why is it raining during interior limo shots of Nick and not during aerial shots or back at the Bachelor House? And will someone please give Kaitlyn a single tissue during her many teary-eyed moments? Shawn gets the girl and fully deserves it, although perhaps not in the way he might think. ATFR is the usual exaltation and confrontation with Nick’s mom looking unimpressed. The producers seem to think that stringing out the Shawn-Nick animosity constitutes entertainment. Kaitlyn and Shawn are overjoyed they get to appear in public together but didn’t she already get in trouble for spoiling the ending on social media? In no time flat we’ll be back at the cheap Mexican beach huts for Bachelor In Paradise (in name only) with the Desperate Old Maid, er, Clare back at it along with some of the more annoying Bachelors from this season including JJ the Jawbone. Jared looks to be fully recovered from his Kaitlyn letdown as he locks lips with vigor and has another good cry. I’d say I don’t plan to watch it but would anyone believe me?

You're spot on with the entire post. But I fear that a generation stuck in perpetual adolescence due to economic and social factors will rarely, if ever, provide a convincing 'starting a life together' narrative sought by the producers. The cast members seem more and more narcissistic (despite many of them with very average looks) and, as has been noted with Kaitlyn many times, are lost at sea when it comes to building relationships and have substituted the Hookup Culture, thus subverting the indoctrination efforts of both the Professional Disapprovers and the Girl Power Brigade. That's a long way of saying Ben is probably their best hope for traditional courtship rituals but he may not have it in him. I know they intentionally cast the crazies for Bachelor In Paradise but some of these women are racing towards Old Maid status...which may be why they're participating again. I suppose I will never understand the appeal of the clutching, desperate Clare except there may be many like her watching.

After many unexpected kind words last week, I shall try to measure up. But this post will probably be a bit different i.e. more of a narrative since it’s something of a live blog. But watching this show live is nigh-on impossible with the ad breaks. And what ad breaks they are. Madison Avenue may think the American male is a flannel-shirted slob who craves cheap beer and salty chips, but Madison Avenue thinks you ladies are flighty, indecisive and insecure except when you’re practicing yoga. Every commercial seems to use nonthreatening Teletubbies music. To say that the ad agencies rely on lazy stereotypes is to say that February in Chicago is a bit on the brisk side. And we’re back in Ireland. Again? Napoleon’s island exile on Elba didn’t last this long. Soon the camera crews will need extended work visas. It’s a reprise of the Shawn Me Talk You Listen Show. Shawn’s not my cup of tea but he deserves some credit for not smacking the smirk off Nick’s face. Frankly, it’s hard to take either of them seriously when one is wearing Chuck Taylors and the other some white-soled, soft leather sneakers. Buy some proper shoes lads! Girls notice these things! Kaitlyn is off to meet up with Ben and compare cable-knit sweaters. Kaitlyn, perhaps aware she’s been wearing more black than Morticia Addams, opts for white. Couldn’t they have sampled the Irish Spring theme music? I kept expecting Ben to produce a bar of green and white soap and a pocketknife, possibly while whistling. Today’s activity? The old Bachelor(ette) standby of horseback riding! Apparently it’s mandatory each season, similar to the ‘boat jump’ in the tropics. The camera operator attempts to obscure the horse guide rider behind some leaves for reasons unknown but there are in fact three of them. Why is this a secret? English saddle is tricky even for experienced riders but they heroically manage a slow walk in a straight line. The scene cuts to a farm where a couple of jackasses scamper downhill and make funny noises. But enough about Kaitlyn and Ben! *rimshot* For some reason the couple have been tasked with feeding donkeys until the demanding donkeys chase them around, refusing to believe the feed bucket is empty. On to the castle! Kaitlyn is Back In Black, natch. Might we instead call her Kitchen Kaitlyn for her pancake (makeup) and (vocal) fry? Ben, perhaps using his sales training, is smooth as silk as he gives what sounds suspiciously like a prepared speech and deftly slips in the ‘falling in love with you’ magic phrase. The card is produced. Is there anyone remotely familiar with this show who doesn’t know its exact wording by now, making the reading superfluous? And why isn’t it simply signed ‘Chris?’ Interlude: a Bachelor In Paradise promo with the raccoon gag already worn out through repetition. Isn’t there a statute of limitations on seasons featuring Clare? This poor girl hasn’t eaten a proper meal in over a year trying to keep the caboose from slowing the train in her desperate quest for male companionship. What guarantees do we have that Clare’s evil sisters won’t reappear? The execrable JJ and some other Kaitlyn rejects are in the BIP cast along with crazy-but-not-really blonde Ashley and genuinely-crazy Ashley Iaconetti, she of the white nail polish, palm-frond false eyelashes and alarming habit of turning crimson and pounding her forehead violently when she cries – which seems to be often. Kaitlyn and Shawn are off on a golf date. Kaitlyn’s grid-pattern golf trousers are quite fetching but, alas, she’s back in a monochrome ensemble. The less said about Shawn’s outfit the better, including his spandex long johns. Kaitlyn’s form is actually decent, especially her finish. Did the crew rent the entire course for the day? Might a foursome on the course catch up with them and see a nude male racing after a female? Might the foursome think a crime was in progress? The less said about the Nick date the better…which is a convenient way of concealing the truth that weather knocked my dish out during it. Someone up there likes me! I did notice that while her makeup does come off Kaitlyn’s eyelashes can survive overnight dates in the Fantasy Suite and still be standing to attention the next morning. Kaitlyn shocks us all with a RC dress in an actual color! It’s red…but it’s cut down to her navel a la Cher in 1974. If you think yanking a Band-Aid off your arm is tricky, just imagine two long strips of double-sided tape being pulled off your mammaries! I’ll wager the dress wasn’t the only thing red after that disrobing. She’s wearing even more pancake makeup tonight and I’m genuinely concerned about her proximity to open flame. Speaking of flame, exactly what is the candle budget for this show? Kaitlyn makes her choices and Ben, with an involuntary gulp and rapid series of blinks, realizes that nice guys do indeed finish last. He may very well have a gaggle of lovelies who are closer to 20 than to 30 in his future. As he nuzzles the perfumed neck of a knockout blonde next season, hopefully he will ask himself what all the Kaitlyn fuss was about, especially given her inexplicable preference for a dork with an abacus wrapped around his wrist and a control-freak musclehead who will force her to run a locator app on her phone so he knows where she is at all times. The families are next. False smiles, forced laughs and strong drinks for all – exactly like Christmas at my mother’s then. Shawn’s sister does the ‘yeah...uh huh…yeah…right…’ routine to give the impression she’s listening closely while the opposite is true. She’s merely sizing up Kaitlyn. Nick’s mom is overwrought, perhaps because she’s realized what a plonker her son is. (Incidentally, I’m a sucker for older women with that pixie hair style.) Kaitlyn doesn’t seem to mind, however, and ratchets up her Nick infatuation. Meanwhile, Shawn has a Ben-like speech prepared even if he lacks Ben’s delivery. Shawn dramatically reduces ‘falling in love’ to ‘in love.’ Gasp! Trumpet fanfare please! Things are going so well for Kaitlyn that naturally she’s in floods of tears. Perhaps it’s because the producers, always with an eye out for a bargain, have sent the hapless Bachelorette and the finalists to a Utah ski resort…in the off-season. As you might expect, it’s brown and boring, even depressing, but that seems to fit the mood of the perpetually pouting Kaitlyn. Next week TMTA and then the final. It’s like a trip to the dentist…you just want it to be over.

He's not on-screen much beyond the first night and the RCs (which themselves have become chaotic, when they aren't being postponed) but CH is an interesting barometer of the relative health of this show. Ironically, now that he's obtained a partial producer's role/credit, the show's quality has nosedived. Maybe it's not coincidence, though. By now it's common knowledge that CH's own marriage has ended and this has removed his veneer of chaste, harmless, off-the-market chaperone, camp counselor and hack psychologist. He's clearly lost patience with the participants, most of whom are a bit too streetwise for his liking and are involved for The Wrong Reasons. CH's own tongue-in-cheek approach to his very own show is meant to shield him from criticism. If you've ever heard him interviewed on radio or TV, he is merciless in mocking the contestants. Perhaps they deserve it but when the producers are cynical beyond words it shouldn't come as a surprise when the audience and the participants follow suit.

For those who were genuinely interested in Kaitlyn, they will watch episodes after their exit and say 'I had a lucky escape.' For those who were eager to leave even if they didn't show it at the time, they will say 'I had a lucky escape.'

Never forget the penny-pinching that this show now emphasizes. Ireland is cheap, flights notwithstanding.

'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette' need Super Bowl-style Roman numerals as well as subtitles/taglines. This season I suggest 'The Bachelorette XII: The Woman In Black.' This allegedly young, allegedly vibrant, allegedly free-spirited, alleged dancer has worn more black than a Sicilian widow or even Stevie Nicks. Rather than strutting into the room in some eye-catching color or pattern, she is more like the Angel of Death approaching in her ebony shrouds with personality to match. Kaitlyn's choice? The wardrobe department's choice? In either case the dark color matches the dark mood of the Bachelorette this year especially the longer they remain in Ireland where the weather is rarely uplifting. The finalists are quite different to each other but their common trait is that they still are convinced the weepy, mopey, indecisive, chronically sleep-deprived Kaitlyn is somehow worth the effort. Nick is the archetype of the 21st Century selfie boyfriend - merely there to be the party of the second part in the iPhone camera frame and to post nice emojis about the female in tribute. He's about as threatening as a bowl of oatmeal, as masculine as a gingham dress. He is another example of the producers panicking and subverting their own selection process before and during the season. Apparently Fleiss, Harrison & Co. have had their irony genes removed. They slipstream Nick into front-runner status and, five minutes later, advertise casting calls in various cities. Even if you're the perfect Bachelor(ette) candidate are you going to waste time showing up and going through the laborious vetting process only to be gazumped by a hand-picked ringer? Nick offends any male's sense of fair play, especially the Bachelors who must sit around for long hours watching the deck repeatedly stacked against them. PS - you're eating a meal, even if it's breakfast and even if it's in your hotel room. Put your damned shirt on. Which brings us to Shawn. He's falling into the unfortunate hangdog, pouty 'you don't spend enough time with me' routine complete with long uncomfortable silences. It's a pattern we've seen more often on The Bachelor and the whining girl in question is unwittingly punching her ticket home. The sales job takes a lot of effort over the season and many simply run out of energy. Shawn has a somewhat legitimate gripe about the Nick Project and to his credit he is confronting Nick directly rather than complain to the Bachelorette, to the cameras, or to any remaining Bachelors. Without the cameras and staff present he would probably tear Nick limb from limb. Nick is well aware of this and is grateful for the cameras and staff as he displays his usual combination of smugness and nerves in the presence of red-blooded males. Ben H remains mostly a cipher and is viewed as the safe option by all, possibly including himself. The complicated-but-not-in-an-alluring-way Kaitlyn has admitted more than once that the nice, straightforward guys have everything she claims to want but she finds she isn't interested. If he doesn't make the F2 then I agree he is a strong candidate for the next Bachelor since he offers a baby face and the aforementioned nonthreatening demeanor that will elicit the squeals and claps from the studio audience acting as proxy for potential contestants. Of course, the studio audience helped foist Chris Soules and Juan Pablo on us so their judgment is suspect at best. In interview after interview with actresses, models and women-in-the-street the eternal question is: 'What's the best way for a guy to approach you?' In interview after interview with actresses, models and women-in-the-street the eternal answer is: 'Make me laugh.' So why don't they? Even the Bachelors and Bachelorettes who have an innate or learned ability to make small talk in the early going seem to forget their sense of humor in the later stages. But, as we've seen, those couples who seem to break into smiles and spontaneous laughter are dead giveaways as to the winner (e.g. Sean-Catherine). The intense, lustful stare (AshLee) is what the producers want for lingering camera shots but simply being fun to be around is a) something that can't be faked or scripted and b) 1,000 times more effective than stilted soap-opera declarations of 'I'm falling in love with you.' Since 'The Woman In Black' is already taken as a title of a play and a film, perhaps the subtitle should be changed to 'Hobson's Choice' i.e. no choice at all. After a bit of a surprise win over Britt, Kaitlyn has made some odd and/or poor decisions and the F3 reflect those decisions perfectly.

Kaitlyn speaking to an off-camera producer was bizarre but her words and reactions were the result of 'talking up' i.e. the method used by production staff on those horrible daytime talk shows to get people's emotions on a knife-edge so spouses and families can tear lumps out of each other for your entertainment (?). It wasn't quite the 21st Century version of Shakespeare's Juliet balcony scene. Two suggestions for peace of mind: 1) Before he leaves, tell Nick explicitly to keep his yapper shut. 2) Tell the producer you're tired, hungover and just had a shag and to leave you alone as you walk back inside to take a shower.

Bachelorette: 'I'm looking for someone with whom I have a connection. We both really have to let our guards down if we want to get to know each other. I want someone who will be honest with me and I can be honest with them." Bachelor: "Honestly? You're a bit shallow." Bachelorette: "Why you #$#@!%*&!!_@! How dare you! Get out of here now!"

I'm jumping back into the spoiler thread because I don't trust myself in the season thread(s) even if there does seem to be a huge amount of overlap among the posters. If this season looked shaky at the beginning it's registering on the Richter Scale now with the arrival of Lego Hair Nick (LHN). I acknowledge the unfortunate recent tendency of pencil-necked girly-men to be viewed as objects of desire by women conditioned to avoid traditional masculinity (or, as this season has demonstrated, to emasculate men whereever and whenever possible) but the otherwise unremarkable Nick is riding his luck with hippy-dippy Kaitlyn. If a few anodyne text messages can get her hot and bothered then God knows what states of arousal more advanced forms of social media might elicit (not that I believed their cock-and-bull story about having never met). It's clear from open statements, coded remarks and body language that fully half of the Bachelors have mentally checked out, including those who were rabid Team Kaitlyn before the vote was taken. One cancelled RC is a believable anomaly...when multiple RCs are cancelled or delayed it's clear that the producers are desperate to keep as many men on the premises as possible in anticipation of more of them walking away on their own. Meanwhile, the producers must also make it look like RC upheaval is all Kaitlyn's idea. It's clear that Kaitlyn is/was a late bloomer in terms of desirability to men and frankly doesn't know how to handle the mating dance (no pun intended) with any sort of grace or style...as others have said she's still a bag of bones therefore hopeless as a clothes horse but the makeup and hair people are doing their level best. Certainly not unattractive but definitely benefiting from the lack of competition. The ending of this series sounded like a shambles but the current crop of episodes are shambolic themselves. EVERY group sit-down is interrupted by some crisis real or manufactured. 'Will you excuse us?' is the most frequent quote from Kaitlyn as she rushes off for another hushed, tense confrontation in the hallway.

A philosophical, but practical, question: If you were a female who actually bought into the premise of the show i.e. you were searching for a husband, life partner, etc. and were determined to choose from a finite group of males in a very short time frame, would you spend it dragging the males 'out of their element' and have them engage in acts for which they are ill-suited, that will embarrass them, that will fail to demonstrate their physical fitness, agility, etc. (brawling in a ring doesn't count), fail to demonstrate whatever innate or learned intelligence they may have and fail to explore any emotional depth beyond the perfunctory 'I really like you' and the occasional Devastating Personal Tragedy ? While we shake our collective head at the vapidity of the contestants, including Kaitlyn, the tomboy on the school bus who laughs at every boy's joke regardless of its actual humorous content, can we ask (again) - is this show fit for purpose? Would any sane female tell herself she had found Mr. Right because she had forced him to do stand-up comedy, sumo wrestling, rapping, boxing, musical theatre etc. simply so she could ridicule him? This isn't courtship - it's summer camp. If the producers fail on a fairly regular basis to get a lasting match (even when they recycle contestants) isn't it primarily their fault due to their choice of activities? I can't believe I'm about to agree with Tony The Cliche Bearer, but what about an activity that isn't fish-out-of-water stuff and that might promote bonding such as skydiving? How about a softball game or volleyball? Pool/darts tournament? Build a house? Paint a barn? If you want the Bachelors to compete in order to prove themselves then having them all do something they are hopeless at will reveal absolutely nothing. The pat answer is: the find-a-mate stuff is just a premise to do a Big Brother ripoff with similar rare peaks of excitement and long stretches of boredom to foster a tame/temporary version (they hope) of Stockholm Syndrome that will last just long enough to get through the finale and postmortem. It's not that I have lofty expectations of the show given its built-in shortcomings, specifically the compressed time frame, but the cynical Fleiss & Co. seem fresh out of ideas with the exception of sadism.

The episode in question seems like it aired 3 years ago and I considered waiting until the next episode thread but... As with Chris' Bachelor season and Bachelor In Paradise before that, this show has either had its budget slashed to ribbons by corporate OR (and more likely), the producers (now including Mr Harrison) are happy to bore the participants and the audience to death with mundane events, tasks and locations and pocket the difference. Private planes? Helicopters? Charter boats? Trail guides? Fancy restaurants? Sorry, those things cost money, especially in the early going. But even when they traveled to Chris' finale location it was all done on a shoestring - I'm not sure what the going rate for a monkey wrangler on a sidewalk is but it's a damn sight less expensive than a scuba divemaster's full-day rate. For Kaitlyn's season we've had a Sumo tournament (such as it is) and a ridiculous - and ridiculously cheap - haunted house. Throw in the boxing match and the use of a comedy club on what was likely a scheduled off night and it all screams CHEEEEEEEEP even with the audiences press-ganged into watching and giving the desperate producers some reaction shots since Kaitlyn has a grand total of two - laughter and the hands-over-mouth gasp. The participants and producers might be more cynical than the audience if that's possible. Right reasons/wrong reasons are their own punchlines these days and this season's bachelors can be seen literally inserting tongue in cheek as they narrate the events of the day. Someone needs to take Kaitlyn aside and determine if she fully understands the concept of the show despite being cast as the lead. Apparently her methodology - no doubt based on years of practice - is to soul-kiss every warm body that comes within three feet or that pulls her behind the corner of a building. I can accept that Britt might not have given a better an account of herself but as others have said Kaitlyn's tomboy persona is the worst fit for a Bachelorette because there is no mystery, no hard-to-get, no feeling of accomplishment for the testosterone-charged Bachelors therefore their interest will wane quickly - for some it already has.

PC is a disease and an affront against logic and humor. The notion that anyone should voluntarily adhere to an entirely artificial set of rules on thought and/or speech is fatuous at best and dangerous at worst. Frankly, the idea of two contestants being gay or having a gay encounter on a show where the entire premise is male-female matchmaking is hilarious in the extreme and I, for one, am unafraid to laugh at that idea and at two blokes who get it so fundamentally wrong.

As I said on the Bachelor side of things, I have never watched the B'ette because a season-long focus on one female making cow eyes at a group of SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) who are themselves faking it all the way is only marginally interesting compared to a gaggle of females having breakdowns and rows that you can set your watch by, regardless of who the Bachelor is. Still, I admit that the twist had me DVR-peeking during breaks in the hockey game. I would have thought Kaitlyn would resist any attempt by the wardrobe dept to give her a sparkly sophomore prom night dress but there it was. Britt's whipped-cream toga was an odd choice as well. She wore red the first night she met Chris and it's an ideal color for her, especially with her present hair shade. Britt just doesn't have the energy to keep up the golly-gee-whiz act for two whole series and, frankly, as the potential B'ette she doesn't need to. If she's an unmarried, attractive 20-something in LA, especially waiting tables, then she has heard every lame chat-up line in the book. This crop of Bachelors are cynical in the extreme, as their unguarded conversations reveal. In fact, they are expressing a preference for Kaitlyn BECAUSE she's cynical. So if Britt wants the gig she should let more of that knowing, street-wise side of her come through a) because it's more real and b) because the blokes seek it anyway. Without veering too far into disapproving sociopolitical comment, it has been noted upthread that these Bachelors are stuck in perpetual adolescence and/or some vocations that are euphemisms (personal trainer = bartender) or outright fictions (entrepreneur, healer). This is the dark side of 'choose your own path' as well as a reflection of the true state of the economy for young people. Tattoos. Here we go again. Might as well get an inscription that literally reads 'IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME' because that's what body graffiti inevitably represents to the wearer and to the beholder. You're a lawyer with sleeve tats poking out past your shirt cuffs? Tacky with or without the stripper gig. And it's doubtful that any hiring firm, client, judge or jury will be impressed. Coma Guy was quite matter-of-fact about being hit by a car. Surely there's more to the story? Occasionally the producers tip their hand by leaving crucial details out of an introductory video - which all but assures us there will be further exposition later i.e. the story-teller makes the initial cut. A clod-kicker from Iowa? Haven't we been down that road before? Welding is a proper gig and lucrative because it is in huge demand - but that demand is mostly in growth areas ie cities. And, in a happy coincidence, there are single women in those cities. Don't remember much about Kentucky Guy except his fat chocolate lab. The poor animal looked like a propane tank on tomato stakes. It fought inertia for approximately 6.8 minutes before it generated enough forward motion to fetch a ball thrown a mere 12 feet away. Perhaps with its owner on Bachelor duty it might avoid being overfed for a few weeks. Pity the poor production crew who had to try to find a beauty shot in Detroit - and in the dead of winter. As it turned out they opted for...a shot of the river and a good bit of another country altogether ie Canada in the frame! Healer Yoga Guy was right out of central casting. Separate your consciousness from what, exactly? The fact that you're doing bugger-all the rest of the day anyway? And is that a bong I hear bubbling in the background? Duuuuuuude! Drunken Idiot was good for a laugh or two but only the presence of cameras and security kept him from taking at least one punch. Chris Harrison's extra-serious camp counselor face and hackneyed phraseology ('You're not here for the right reasons' [Drink!]) were comedy gold as well. They keep the drunk girls in the house but turn the drunk males out? Double standard!

The budget ratchet only turns one way. Soon they will be sitting in an empty conference room playing gin rummy. It's interesting to note that something - probably fear of feminist dogma - prevents the Bachelor (the show) and the Bachelor (the person) from asking the women to prepare a meal or decorate a room, choosing furniture and accessories perhaps supplied by a sponsor. It's ironic because many (most?) women a) have grown up developing skills in one or both areas, b) such abilities are, obviously, important in domestic life, and c) it might just give one or more girls who aren't sexy siren front-runners a chance to improve their standing. Practical benefits aside, it's also a chance to see if tastes (the culinary and the aesthetic kind) match up. It would certainly take them miles beyond the goofy 'do you like me cos I like you' babble that virtual strangers are reduced to. There is no doubt that the Bachelorette (show and person) wouldn't hesitate to ask the males to get in the kitchen....turnabout is fair play and all that. They may have already done so...I tend not to watch the Bachelorette.

I could barely watch TWTA and therefore didn't post on it but from the bits I saw the women were red in tooth and claw. And, as many of us expected, Chris Soules was a distant afterthought. These women wanted nothing more than to exact revenge for real and perceived slights during the season and they couldn't care a jot about The Bachelor himself. The same might be said about Becca, who is either on the waiting list for a personality or is taking strong doses of mood levelers. It's one thing to be SoCal laid back, quite another to be in danger of tipping over. She's a decent sort and there is massive pressure on a finalist both spoken and unspoken, on-camera and off. Psychology libraries are filled with studies of people acting in an otherwise nonsensical manner because they are driven to meet some expectation or societal norm (this is the secret weapon in a nightclub hypnotist's routine). And so, she played along as best she could for and with someone she really had no interest in, especially given what lay beyond the finale. Any Bachelor's family will be terminally biased and falsely optimistic (at least for the cameras) so the mutual sales pitches were even more contrived than usual. And then there's Whitney, who has been as clinical about the whole thing as she is about her nursing job. I fully expected her to consult index cards for her self-scripted lines and pop a breath strip in before the next take. Perhaps they merely edited that out. Everybody has unique priorities and motives. Hers was the American archetype - the Disney Princess scenario, even at age 30. Since they're fresh in our minds, let's compare Whitney/Chris with Catherine/Sean. Catherine/Sean were so besotted with each other that the clothes, jewelry, setting and competition were surplus to requirements. Sean could have proposed in the hotel lobby wearing jeans without changing the outcome. Whitney & Chris, on the other hand, were both almost completely reliant on acting - not in the theatrical sense but in the 'doing what's expected of me' sense as described above. Whitney wanted a man and would have recited the alphabet backward at the finale if that's what it took. Chris was simply trying to save face in front of his family, friends and the audience as a whole. Individually and collectively they appeared incapable of generating or expressing genuine emotion. But plenty of emotionally immature, stunted and completely barren people have been married over the years. There is no ‘love test’ and perhaps that’s a good thing. I used to wonder why people complained about Mike Fleiss but after watching numerous seasons I have joined his chorus of critics. His biggest problem is that he manipulates, cuts, edits and misleads where completely unnecessary. But his obvious mismatched footage (especially the reaction shots and pensive looks) defuses, rather than builds, tension for anyone familiar with the show. To compare with the Sean season again, there was no editing required when AshLee’s anger boiled over and she marched off. To be fair, he had to make do this season with a booby prize of a Bachelor and a house full of bored, catty, insecure females. But his involvement is so overt that he may as well be on camera himself visibly choreographing the action. I know that November in Iowa means unpredictable weather but even the most gormless viewer should have noticed the constantly-changing snow cover in the footage. The worst excesses of corporate/network/programming 'synergy' are epitomized in the DWTS graphics promo plastered over the climactic scene of the whole bloody season. The audience is never appreciated, merely primed for the next bit of reality TV dreck. In the end, this year’s unique twist became an obstacle most were unable or unwilling to overcome, especially with Chris’ DOA performance. It’s one thing to have to choose between Seattle or Dallas, quite another to submit to culture shock, even cultural deprivation in a move to the hinterlands. Fleiss set himself two simultaneous tasks: find the usual match and throw in the I Was A Mail Order Bride angle. When the former began to go wrong, the latter nearly did him in. To extend the farm analogy, if Chris were a horse, they would have put him down after he broke down in the backstretch. But he was the only mount the women and the producers had so they limped along with him. TPTB want a love match but are always willing to accept hate. Unfortunately, they got apathy from all concerned, even the participants. It didn’t take a psychic to predict that Britt would be a/the Bachelorette given her stunning looks, her training/ability to over-emote on cue, her LA base of operations (cheap cheap cheap for the producers) and her desire for greater fame. The runoff with Kaitlyn is obviously a desperate tacked-on ploy. But Kaitlyn proved herself to be a formidable, if quiet, opponent, ‘stealing’ multiple roses on group dates etc. during this season. Tastes and conditioning among the 20-something set have changed drastically. Depending on the males selected, Kaitlyn’s tattooed, cynical, faintly hippie chick persona vs. Britt’s classic smiley big-haired California Girl might not be the walkover it first appears. A generation of males in a perpetual state of stunted social maturity thanks to electronic gadgetry and a steady diet of PC disapproval for being red-blooded/vital/active just might opt for the quirky one, being rather quirky themselves.

Still processing how awful - and cheap - this location was even given its glowing reviews elsewhere and the probable cost of getting there. The so-called dates were as invigorating as a church picnic. They didn't even bother with serving the poor souls a meal - not that there would be much I'd risk ingesting in a land of dodgy refrigeration and differing ideas about appropriate ingredients. It's 90 degrees with 90 percent humidity and Ward Cleaver is still wearing long-sleeved button-down shirts. And sneakers with no laces for some odd reason. We've gone from sleek, expensive hire yachts to some old diesel beater (with redundant sail riggings) and its odd one-man crew with his insincere smile and perpetual thumbs up. Chris' sea lion-inspired kissing technique went from odd to off-putting. Girls tend to notice that sort of thing but perhaps they're terrified to mention it. Speaking of cheap (and nonsensical)...this is a DATING show in its final stages. Why stick the finalists in a religious temple where displays of affection are banned? Do the Sisters Of The Poor walk into Bellagio Las Vegas and demand the blackjack tables be idled? Kaitlyn, you still need to lose the nose stud but with your hair out of your face and some feminine clothing you looked quite fetching all evening. Your makeup was tasteful, for the most part, and in stark contrast to the slap the others had troweled on. You of all the contestants will bounce back quickly and you're probably already realizing what a lucky escape you've had. For weeks, Becca was getting near-universal internet praise for...we're still not sure. No personality and less humor and an annoying speech pattern. Then the V-Plates were unveiled. Chris Of The Cliches couldn't even trot out something like 'I understand that and respect that and any decision you make.' Instead, his eyebrows wiggled a bit and he couldn't even be polite, let alone supportive. And then there's Whitney. Guys have a weakness for emotionally needy girls, but clingy desperation is never a good look. Whitney is willing to throw career, geography, the comforts of modern life, even her own siblings over the side in order to snag her man. She and Chris set a series record for least amount of time spent in the water after the Bachelor stock-standard double leap off the boat. A cynic would point out that it costs additional money, manpower, and time to shoot scenes in or under the water so the producers nixed the usual sequence and merely shot the couple from another boat and from the deck of the hired boat. [EDIT: conditions prevented additional water frolic as reported below] Neil Lane, your days may be numbered in the age of The Bachelor On A Shoestring. Chris may be left to fend for himself in a street market where he will haggle with a seller of 'gold' trinkets for the engagement ring. Chris S has been a damp squib of a Bachelor and the last stages are a slow motion train wreck. Even Chris Harrison can't hide his annoyance and indifference.

I believe this is mostly a cultural thing, with producer influence also a possibility. Many of the girls in the Australian bachelor (Tim's season) were about as even-keeled as you could hope after rejection, e.g. one who said simply 'I would have liked to get to know him a bit better. It's a shame.' No tears, no black cloud of depression/doubt.

Hard to see any of the non F5 being considered except Kelsey. She's a lightning rod already with a backstory everyone knows and photogenic in the extreme. -Kaitlyn was mildly interesting with the Canadian angle but can't see TPTB devoting an entire season to a non-American. -Carly? Uh, no. I understand the sentiment that 'people go on the Bachelor/ette for fame, not love or the purported target' but the sum total of her male fans could fit in a phone booth. Apparently multitudes of females were fans but any red-blooded guy will confirm that he wants nothing to do with a catty, gossip-y, needy Carly who regularly fills up with tears and acts about 12. Her bounce-up-and-down euphoria over the exits of Kelsey and Britt was insecurity writ large. And are the Bachelors going to bunk with her on the cruise ship for a workplace visit? -Jade? Maybe. Someone tweeted or posted here that TPTB would not want to deal with the Playboy fallout and/or would not want to give Playboy free publicity. It also, obviously, is incompatible with the Polly Purebred persona they try to build up. -Whitney? Strong candidate although she seems content in the hunter role rather than the prey. That leaves Britt. She's gorgeous, the right age, and in the ideal city from the producer's standpoint (no travel therefore no/fewer travel expenditures). She may not be a headlining actress but she can fake sincerity, as they say, therefore she will ensure that all her reactions are as over-the-top as they were in both happy and sad moments during Chris' season. She would say 'yes' in an instant to the prospect of extended screen time as a resume builder. She is somewhat controversial for the way she left but that would be largely forgotten. Most importantly, the blokes would be lined up round the block to pursue her and The Rules Of Attraction dictate that they would be rather photogenic themselves.

Apparently I was posting in the wrong (previous show) thread. Must do better. Moved it here. .... At the risk of climbing aboard my Producer's Spoiler hobby horse again, they gave away two of their so-called big moments. -The teaser reel in Ep 1 showed Britt in red dress bawling her eyes out, alone, on a sidewalk. As soon as we saw the red dress last night the rest was a given. -Spoilers within a single episode are maddening. By showing the 'Jade Playbook talk' footage BEFORE THE FIRST ROSE CEREMONY they confirmed she would survive that RC. Is it laziness? Desperation? Are they counting on a loyal audience for ratings but hoping the loyal audience doesn't notice these things?

Chris, you are getting Hobson's Choice and you have no one to blame but yourself. Your inability - or mere refusal - to attempt any adult conversation or to steer 'your future wife' away from the constant bitchy gossip by actually engaging her in other subjects has lumbered you with: -someone who is clearly not all that interested in you or Iowa (Kaitlyn) -someone whose genuine sentiment quotient is equivalent to that of a $3.99 Hallmark card (Whitney) -someone whose virginity may be by far the most interesting thing about her (Becca) The nothingness of your season to date and the nothingness resulting in a lack of drama (the real kind, not the juvenile Carly kind) ie suspense relative to the final stage(s) are a reflection of the nothingness of what you have brought to the table, intentionally or unintentionally. We all know women who seek a blank slate, marry a blank slate, and are perfectly happy with a blank slate as long as food is put on the table and she can have the kids and focus 99% of her attention on the role of Mommy with the modern penchant for posting approximately 1,258 photos per day of her child(ren) and their mundane activities (sleeping, eating) on various social media platforms. Here's the odd thing: you are not a figure of fun or resentment like a Ben or a Juan Pablo. There's nothing to dislike about you except, perhaps, that there's nothing to really like about you. Are the pesticides and herbicides interfering with your libido? Grab someone - anyone - by the shoulders and have a good long mash session. Run your hand up an arm, down a leg or across a back to indicate your tactile appreciation of the female form. You are the kid in the proverbial candy store who's emerged with a 2-cent piece of sugarless gum. You haven't broken The Guy Code but I'm not sure you've even read the first page or even the preamble of The Guy Code. As such I can't relate.

It seems that each season many (most?) of these women, most of whom are well above average in the face and body department, are at low tide in terms of emotional state or self-esteem. Broken relationships, broken engagements, bad experiences, new town, lonely, busy with work etc. Odds are it would only be a matter of time without the Bachelor. But while they and we may not want to admit it, the show does provide them with a shot of confidence and that confidence is often all that is lacking. As many have pointed out, Stockholm Syndrome and psychological manipulation are manifest in this show. Bachelor alumnae regularly comment on how much downtime they must endure, either between Bachelor encounters, between actual shooting, or both. The cliques form the minute they walk in after the limo entrances and in many cases those bonds are stronger than any with the Bachelor. The Women Tell All? More like An Hour Of Catfights! They barely talk about the Bachelor - they just want to have a go at each other! After a few episodes the Bachelorettes convince themselves that they have the ability to think and feel what the Bachelor is thinking and feeling - an exaggerated, mostly imaginary sense of empathy. The producers use isolation the same way a jailer might ration food to manipulate, even to subjugate. The cages are nicer, but still cages. When they return to the real world the spell is broken and most of them say they can't understand what all the fuss was about or why they behaved so. Unfortunately for the producers, this realization often hits the Bachelor and/or his chosen mate and the so-called romance fizzles.

As a Twitter user noted, it may have been the first country (and I use the term advisedly) song, live or recorded, Britt had heard in her life. Her very odd, very random bouncing up and down resembled that of toddler given the command to dance. She had no idea what the song was or what the approximate tempo might be.

I got a kick out of the sign on the wall - no cell phone use, no personal photos, etc. Because a free snap you can edit to make B&W or sepia-toned and share in minutes cuts into their business model of $19.95 for a single pose! I've hated price-gouging tourist traps all my life and disruptive technology is obviously disrupting them. As for the upcoming Iowa visit, my suspicions and those of others here were confirmed when the girls made a brave show of exploring Arlington, IA but a) it took 30 seconds to walk the two blocks and b) they remarked openly - and forebodingly - that it was small. Tiny. The realization that Chris has fallen well short of the mark as a romantic partner, even a friend, to say nothing of a spouse is creeping into their consciousness and the isolated hometown setting will only reinforce this belief. Cattiness is part of the fun of this show but the girls - with the exception of Britt - completely lost the plot with their hatred of Kelsey. Chris was an afterthought in that pathetic roomful of jealousy and groupthink. Carly, in particular, demonstrates that she is emotionally about 12 years old....filling up with tears at the merest perceived slight. Suddenly her chequered romantic past is easily understood with her as the common denominator.