Oldernowiser

Give it time...hot male doctors have all kinds of options for, how to put this, alternative companionship. Sounds like Mrs. Cuddle Bear is headed for the First Wives Club. Bringing this back to topic...I just wish Jill was headed there as well. Derrick isn’t half as great as he thinks he is or a tenth as great as she says he is. She could do better.

What baffles me completely is the implication that having a penis is a prerequisite for intelligent thought. Based on my experience, if anything, the penis negates thinking more often than not.

“It was even more joyful when he finally shut his yap and sat down.”

That’s not a foot. It’s a hand. So, per usual, I have zero idea WTF Derrick is bleating on about.

So he’s the headship...but he’s only getting “work” because of his wife, aka the lowly woman. How do they square that circle?

I so look forward to the day when “influencer” is no longer a career path.

I’ve been married for thirty years. In all that time, I have NEVER referred to my husband as my “hubby.” Makes my skin crawl.

So is he going bald or is that part of the “lewk”?

Or maybe it’s being called “Bawpaw.” Because that would be plenty enough for me .

What, no reference to his headshipness? His devotion to the Lord as a constant inspiration? His relationship with a living Christ? This is why Abbie is my favorite. Which is a little like saying she’s my favorite hangnail, but still...

JerJer has the handwriting of a serial killer. A question...if one is pimping out one’s newborn to shill “Illuminated Journaling Bibles,” does that supposedly make it okay, as opposed to using her to pimp out, say, timeshares in Cabo (“Dearest Felicity: this white sand beach is my favorite and the Mojitos at Jorge’s Beachside Bar are the bomb!”), which is probably not? Just curious.

I wouldn’t let my DOGS do that...because I love them and want them healthy and safe...I’m weird that way. I guess when you grow up surrounded by a zillion children, nobody is all that important or unique so if one gets hurt, killed...pffft. There are a bunch of backups. These people...SMDH.

Why is she wearing a hat over her eyes but no socks or shoes?

Wow, Churchhoney. That’s...horrifying. Okay, Jer, you can drop the phony metrosexual candy coating. You’re an asshole. The End.

Pretty baby. Ugly shoes.

You know, if he weren’t such a prissy humorless arrogant clueless fuckwit, I’d feel sorry for his face situation. But then he opens his mouth and I’m over it.

I’ve thought about that...do hate clicks pay the same? I would be surprised if any retail sales would result from hate traffic...maybe political donations to progressive rights groups, but what else? It’s not like I’m going to go buy cream of chicken soup in bulk because these two mostly make me nauseated.

Maybe if enough people desperately WANT to slap someone upside the head all that intent eventually has the same effect as doing it? Yes, this is my little fantasy, but I’m sticking with it...

And while I’m at it, that whole “SMART goals” shtick has been around since the early 80s and was created by Peter Drucker and promoted by some guy named George Doran, all of which I was able to find out in about five seconds via Bing. So, Derrick appropriates the intellectual property of others without permission or acknowledgement and creates a fictional “leader” who taught it to him. Sounds much like the Jill School of Dear Friend Recipe Stealing and Self-Promotion, just without the actual nasty food. These two deserve each other.

Except there’s a huge shortage of nurses and a surplus of lawyers in many places? Besides, with all the hardworking, non-idiots who would never slam their employers on Twitter out there, why would any company see anything in Derrick worth gambling that kind of money on?

Okay, that’s taking arrogant asshattery to a whole new level, even for him. Scrawny people have no damned business even pretending to have a clue what obesity is like, especially not to make some half-assed point I can’t even be bothered to try to follow. One thing is for certain: a two-bit 20-something unemployed failed famewhore is in no position to be handing out advice about ANYTHING.

Okay, but how many gay wedding cake cases are there, really? Or “persecuted” Christians with money suing for discrimination? It’s hardly enough to make a career from in rural Arkansas and it’s not like I see Derrick having the stage presence to become a celebri-lawyer arguing groundbreaking cases in front of higher courts. Ambulance chasing and bail hearings. Unless he wants to go into family law, but since he doesn’t believe in divorce, is there much left? Maybe probate and estate planning? But again, how many people are worrying about that in his neighborhood?

Why don’t JimBob and Michelle just tell the truth??? ”WE DIDN’T GO TO COLLEGE SO NONE OF OUR UNDERLINGS OFFSPRING ARE GOING EITHER BECAUSE THEY MIGHT GET....IDEAS.”

Okay, I’m dark and cynical, but “for the time being” may say a lot about his law school grades...

Well that’s special... I was on the fence about him because he does seem to really adore his daughter but that hat has self-obsessed pretentious douche written all over it. Bougie, indeed.