cereality

So are Derick and Jill back for good or is this another one of those -- here for a month, Central America for a month things? Also where do they live when they're back -- do they have the mansion still? In that insta video that they posted congratulating Jessa and Ben -- that was made in the US right? Seemed like it from the background, furniture etc. So my question is -- why on earth is Derick sporting a greasy man bun now that he's back in the U.S. where he has access to running water - hot and cold - 24/7 and has access to a Hair Cuttery every few miles? I can see not bathing as much when he was living someplace with rolling water outages, but what is the excuse here??!

Risky move bringing Joshy back. I'm sure it's a ratings ploy bc if they advertise it through enough clips/articles, some people may tune into the episode to see Joshy, see what he says or if TLC will ignore the fact that he was humping other honeys. And I'm sure TLC thinks, once they see Joshy once, they'll be reminded how interesting the show is and will be tuning in for the rest of the season to see if Joshy appears again and if he doesn't, to follow the courtship ritual. Problem is -- seems like there were at least 2-3 advertisers for the first episode. Even if they didn't want their ads to run during this show, if they were part of a bulk buy -- they didn't have much choice and they likely got over it. Thing is though for the family friendly brands that tend to promote on TLC, they know the Joshy story and do not want to be seen as promoting a molester and adulterer. And even a bulk buy comes with a contract that has certain outs. Once Joshy appears, I'm sure Legal at Disney or Kelloggs or whoever will be pouring over every line of the contract and calling TLC's counsel and saying - we know we have a bulk buy but under our contract we can refuse to have our ad run during a show that is morally objectionable to our brand, which molestation and adultery both are -- so if you run our ads one more time during Counting On, we have a legal complaint ready to go. So in return for Joshy's appearance, I hope TLC is ready to carry the show for an entire season again with made up promos for other TLC programming.

To me the huge appeal of Bill and Jen is that they don't NEED TLC. She's a neonatologist. He's a business owner for real -- not of the the Duggar variety where Daddy owns the business and the son rolls out of bed once in a while to show up -- ala Joshy and his car lot. Bc of that their show is very real. They are who they are; they are showing the struggles of being little people and of having busy lives and of being young parents. They don't particularly care if we're impressed or if we deem them boring and viewership falls off bc they have day jobs that keep them more than busy and more than pay their bills; so a TLC cancellation means nothing to them. This is pretty clear when they brought home their daughter (and maybe also they son) -- they allowed NO pics, no filming, and NO one visiting except the grandparents and likely aunts/uncles -- for like a few months bc they needed that time to bond with their kids as a family, esp. their daughter who screamed bloody murder for a LONG time after she had to leave her orphanage. OTOH there's the Duggars, daughters/Anna have popped out babies with cameras in their faces, have been filmed with the horde of 20 people visiting like an hr after birth when the mother can't even sit, and have been filmed as Jill was being wheeled off to a c section and Jessa was being rushed to the hospital. All for the almighty TLC dollar.

Although if JD does want to marry -- he's the guy and doesn't need his daddy's approval like Jana would. So can't he sit down with Zach Bates and learn what to talk to girls about; maybe even go out with him in their rural Tenn. area and have him practice talking to girls at various commercial establishments and maybe friends of Zach's wife or whoever. I imagine that in a month or 2 that leads to a girlfriend. Lots of people in those rural areas may not be fundie but they ARE very religious, so they do want short dating spans, no sex until the wedding night etc. I could totally see him finding a girl who is ok dating for 3 months and then he could propose and do a quick, small wedding mostly thrown by her family since that is the bride's family's responsibility and his loud boorish family would just be guests. Is it really so hard to get all this done during a break in filming and then when TLC/JB come back around and say -- ok son we need you to act like you just met her, reenact your courtship, get engaged on camera etc. -- just freaking say NO. JD is one of the few who COULD BE self supporting -- doesn't matter if JB takes away the TLC money. He owns a house that he could sell; he's been a volunteer constable and could potentially go to the police academy like Zach did bc I think he does have a GED; he has a pilots license so maybe he could work for some small airline or even in an airport; he could easily get a job working construction - tons of demand down south and they tend not to look for formal education or training, just hard workers and these days - English speakers; he has a CDL and could drive for a trucking company -- also in high demand right now. These kids have no self esteem probably bc they've been raised in an environment where they've been told that JB and Michelle and the king and queen and they are the peons. But I wish JD would realize he does have options -- bc he doesn't need JBs money he has more freedom than Jana and he should go ahead and try to find a girl bc he'll be able to support her without the TLC BS.

Is gringo an offensive term? I'm genuinely asking bc I don't know and always assume you don't speak of race with "casual" words like that for fear of offending. Like I would've said - he's Caucasian. In any event didn't they know they were moving to a high crime central Am country with a white child? Or did she believe their entire mission would be spent in the big city in their nice apartment complete with GE appliances and a Walmart down the street with Derick skipping off to school with his backpack?? Did it never occur to her that eventually they'd be in a small town or village where they'd be the only white family, where there's more poverty and less infrastructure and thus things like blackouts or no running water is just a fact of life?! Did Derick never sit down and explain this to her? Bc he seems happy out there and unphased by it all - maybe bc he's lived in a developing country before and knows they all have similar issues.

Beggars can't be choosers - JB knows he NEEDS to get a daughter married off to get her off his payroll and to keep the TLC train rolling; and he knows there's not a line of men out the door willing to take his daughters and to deal with him as a father in law. Thus, he knows he can impose some rules but can't get as overbearing or crazy about it as he was with Bin or Derick bc if Jer walks away -- the TLC train is over since there's no other storylines. Not to mention try getting rid of a daughter with the taint of a broken courtship on top of the taint of an older brother who molested the sisters . . . . JB won't be too demanding, he knows where his bread is buttered.

I feel bad for JD. I'm too busy for love is totally a justification to make himself feel better, when last season he said more than once that there's a girl out there for him - he just needs to find her; and Lord willing one day he'll build his own playset for his own kids. I think he just doesn't know where to start. I honestly wish he'd chat with Zach Bates more or even go hang with him in Tenn. Supposedly they're friends and Zach met his wife when she was waitressing and he'd hang out and talk to her. I think JD just needs a wingman and then he'd realize he can talk to women too. And what is it with these fundie men who talk so softly almost whispering when trying to be sweet?! Jer did it when asking Jing to court and in all the interviews after. Chad Paine did - and still does - the same thing w the added effect of getting teary to show how much he wants everything to be perfect as per Erin's dreams. Why not just be yourself rather than what you think a sensitive man should be?!

A medium sized bouquet of even the cheapest flowers at the local grocery store is going to be at least $20-30 I would think as a medium bouquet from a florist can easily be $50+. He's a washed up soccer "star" turned minister so he's not going to blow cash. Not to mention he didn't have the flowers at the airport and it didn't looked like he rented a car, so that means after his coffee date with JB, he probably asked the cheapskate himself to stop someplace for flowers and even if he wanted to spend a bit more - I'm sure JB assured him that $8.99 was more than enough. Plus it's not like he's trying to get with a girl who has past boyfriends or even friends who'd have some basis of comparison re what is a nice gift from a boyfriend and what's cheap. Frankly she's happy anyone's paying attention to her at all and would have gushed if he had brought her dandelions he picked from their front yard.

And could he have walked in with a smaller flower arrangement?? And in the previews we see him walking in with another mini one later. Doesn't matter if it's a coffee cup or not -- nothing says washed up athlete with a small/no paycheck than that size of arrangement.

Snooze fest. Could Jill be any unhappier in Central America? While Derick seems ok with the spartan living conditions and his gross greasy hair/man bun, Jill DOES NOT. I mean she was really having to make an effort to say -- we can't wait to go home, but this is where God has us [stuck] right now . . . . Jeremy really is far less attractive than most 2nd gen Italian guys that age with far less personality (I would know having grown up with dozens of them in the Philadelphia area) . He's either douchey or is trying HARD to put on a show as he sweetly whispers to her about praying for a woman who loves the Gospel etc . . . .I love how Jinger and Ben both spun it as -- he has a REALLY cool background, he gave up soccer to the minstery. Um -- I'm not sure if it's called giving up if your team goes bankrupt and you can't get on another one. It'll be interesting to see more of Anna. She did ok this episode about the whole -- we're working on our marriage, I'm sooo encouraged blah blah blah. But I imagine as the season goes on and she's asked for the 10 millionth time, we'll see cracks in the façade like we did last season.

Despite all of their issues, I think Joe and Teresa are and want to be good parents. Yet this show is messing up those kids. Gabriella was sitting there miserable during the family meeting and when Teresa says -- don't be shy -- she goes - I'm not shy. There's a difference between being shy vs. just not wanting to speak bc you know millions of people will watch every word you say. And Milania was genuinely sad that Joe wouldn't be at her birthday next year and you could tell Joe was sad too. They're good kids and would benefit from some space/privacy given all that their parents are going through publicly.

It's nice that they have storylines -- they'll drag out a whole season; at the end of it show that Jinger's been asked to court; then the next season will be courtship and engagement; and then another season for wedding planning + wedding. So if they handle this the way they usually do, they just bought themselves 4 seasons. BUT the issue is money. Last season I think there were NO sponsors. Literally every ad was for another TLC program. TLC carried them for a season, but if the sponsors haven't changed their minds and decided to come back -- TLC won't continue to carry them forever regardless of how many loser guys they find to court their daughters or how many babies their daughters pop out.

How sad would you be if you were praying for a spouse and you get Jeremy? A washed up soccer "star" (not really) who in retirement is looking for a meek wife and help from TLC and JB's fame to launch his fundie ministry in Laredo Texas -- esp. if in your heart of hearts you wanted sophisticated man living in a big city. When they say they want an "intimate" wedding, I suspect that means that Jeremy is a bit shocked that in fundie-land there aren't any invites and rather it's just an open cattle call, so fundies from around the country hitch up their trailers and bring their 10 kids to your wedding so that their child may meet their intended, all for the handy-dandy cost of the blender you picked up at Walmart as a gift; and thus you can end up with a 1000 people you don't know at your wedding. He's from somewhere where you actually invite those you want. So "intimate" to them may just mean invited guests -- meaning 400-500 people that one of them has met/talked to at least once before, rather than complete strangers. A 400-500 person wedding (with an exclusive invite list) IS small in fundie-land. I believe the last Bates girl who got married -- either Michaela or Alyssa -- she and her groom are a bit more shy and didn't want the 1000 people weddings their siblings had and in fact ended up with a "smaller" 500 person wedding. Kelly Bates also explained that in these fundie families, even with an open call, you get WAY more guests when the first or second daughter gets married and after that interest dwindles so people are less likely driving to you from Idaho or wherever.

At least in this family, it's not parental pressure that keeps kids living the fundie life. If Chad and Erin continue to have a dozen more kids, it'll be bc they want to/are trusting God's will etc., not bc Gil and Kelly are pressuring them to keep at it. Gil and Kelly seem like loving parents and while they may not want to go against Gothard's will, I can see them subtly saying to Chad and Erin -- you have your boy and girl, maybe that's enough given how dangerous it's been?? I don't see them being ok with Erin getting sick or worse just to have kid number 6. Of course we don't know if this is their attitude, but I think it may be bc once married and out of the house, the kids live as they like and it doesn't seem like the parents give them $hit for it. Rather they recognize these are grown ups. I mean if Gil and Kelly were SO against Zach and Whit having a TV, they certainly wouldn't be letting the pre teen boys go over there to watch. I have a feeling Zach and Whit and Alyssa and John are/have gone fundie lite and Gil and Kelly are dealing just fine.

I thought the interaction with the doctor was interesting too. He said -- "remember what you said to your mom during labor, this is the 1st of 19?" And then she responded to him "or the last of 2." I just don't believe that 2 is "enough" for a couple that was trained to believe that a woman's ONLY worth is based on the number of babies birthed. I do think reality is hitting Chad and Erin though -- that the pregnancies don't just involve shots, but a clotting disorder is dangerous to her and the baby so maybe they ARE thinking about how many times they want to take these chances. I also thought it was interesting when Kelly was gushing about Erin being pregnant she talked about how hard it was for them to sustain a pregnancy and how happy Kelly was that "they got their girl." Typically people only "worry" about whether a kid is a boy or girl if they only want 1-2 kids -- and have a preference or want 1 of each or whatever. I would think a family that's planning to have 6 or 10 or 20 is NOT worrying whether child #2 is a girl bc they know the law of large numbers dictates that they will eventually get a girl. So maybe there is something to it -- maybe Chad and Erin ARE deciding to limit family size and have even communicated that to Gil and Kelly. Yet somehow I just don't believe it'll be limited to 2. I honestly think there will be a few more "oops -- it's God's will, if he thought this were too dangerous he wouldn't have allowed conception" pregnancies; I can see them having 3 or 4 and then stopping bc of fear and/or bc a doctor tells them they really must stop.

I know all of these men want to have a "business" -- some way of drawing income from real estate or owning gas stations or whatever, so they don't actually have to spend 40 hrs a week at work. But for Chris Laurita that has meant some failed retail/clothing distribution business (a long time ago); some kind of wine supply business which appears to be gone now (for which they took the trip to Cali. where JoeGo was talking to his mistress by phone while Theresa was trying to get him to get it on in a field); black water -- probably the dumbest idea on earth; and popcorn -- which already exists as a marketed good in every grocery store in America. At what point do you wake up and realize that you are NOT the entrepreneurial type and get yourself a job working for someone else? I kind of wonder if he doesn't have a college degree -- I think most of these people don't, and it is hard to get hired these days without one. Though you'd think someone in the NJ Italian community with a developed business that actually turns a profit could hire him as an office manager or something -- like some construction company or the Brownstone or something.

Melissa is married to a Neanderthal, which we already knew. He's old school, I get it but it's 2016 -- he REALLY can't watch his own elementary school age kids (i.e. no baby food; no diapers) for 2 hrs or a half day or whatever it was? And clearly the kids know that he has no clue and they don't have to listen to him; bc in all the scenes with Melissa those kids are pretty well behaved -- probably bc she lays down the law and they know they'll be in trouble if they don't listen. Whereas they realize their dad is a moron.

Alyssa's neat and tidy - everything in its place and behaving normally w/o being rowdy- personality may just be who she is; after all Grandma Janie is just like that. But I do think you all are right, it also comes from how she was raised. This family was fairly poor for a lot of years until the kids got older and started earning and presumably helping Gil and Kelly out a bit financially; others started moving out so there are fewer kids to now buy food, clothing, drs. visits etc. for; and the show came along, etc. Now it looks like the parents have loosened the purse strings bc they can -- there's lots of shots (like when Ashley came to visit with Nathan) where they're deciding what to eat and Gil says -- oh lets go out -- very likely bc they can expense meals while they're filming. Likely Alyssa got very little stuff that was just her own while growing up. I bet all toys, clothing etc. -- were shared with her sisters. And likely they got very little that was ever new. And while that home has a lot of love, I'd be surprised if there were very many presents etc. in the early years. So now she has a cute little house decorated exactly how she wants. You can tell it grates on her every nerve when her brothers and sisters show up and start climbing on her counters and scratching up her floors. I've know people like that -- when they move out on their own for the first time and they/their spouse used their own money to set up a home, they get incredibly irritated if anyone does anything to mess up their furniture or floors or whatever bc they have already invested a lot of money into it and they know that it isn't an easy fix.

My impression -- Alyssa really does NOT like having her family around. She doesn't act like someone living 10 hrs away from her family who appreciates whatever little time she gets with them. Rather you can see the stress on her face that they are loud, will mess up her perfect home etc. Though that being said, I think the older siblings can act pretty boorish. When Kelly asked -- what can we do to help you with Allie's party, she said she wanted the girls' help with food. So Gil dutifully takes all the other kids out someplace and leaves behind Tori, Carlin, Josie, a few other girls and Lawson (what is up with that -- can't he go with the men??). All they had to do was dip strawberries into chocolate, she asked them not to eat them, and they ate berry after berry. Honestly it looked like they'd dip 1 and eat the next one. Give me a break! These "kids" are 18-25 yrs old. They don't realize it's unsanitary to eat food with your hands as you're preparing it for others? They don't realize that Alyssa bought enough food for the party and it'll look bad if there isn't enough bc the kitchen staff ate half of it? As many times as Alyssa and Kelly tried to get them to stop, they didn't. Then the men return, they say -- don't eat the strawberries -- and Nathan grabs a few. WTH!? And then Judson/Jeb climb up on the counters to the food. I will say Gil and Kelly know their kids. As Gil came back and saw Alyssa's blood pressure rising, he was quick to say -- ok we need to get out of the house, we're going to the park everyone. I can't decide if the kids are just boorish, or if in a large family like that you sometimes don't get expensive things like berries so you pack them in when you see them?! As for Bobby and Tori -- they're a decent match. He seems very outgoing, so he'll be able to put up with her loud/know it all attitude better than say a guy like Brandon, John, or Chad. It's good that they have some privacy to get to know each other and are acting like normal 20 yr olds -- spending every spare moment texting their boy/girlfriend in their room; and while the Bates said Tori shows them texts, it did NOT seem like that was mandatory so at least they have time to talk privately. I'm kind of surprised that they both intend to finish college - esp. her. I figured he'd finish next yr and she'd drop out rather than do 2 more yrs -- that's what Alyssa did to marry John and move to Fl.

Wait so Michelle was in their Empire State Building engagement pic?? Or did someone crop that in? On People I saw the pick of just Jer and Jinger. And I don't know but their smiles continue to look forced to me -- Jeremy is making such an effort to smile big you can see forehead wrinkles and Jinger is showing practically all her teeth to show how happy she is; that's not her usual I'm hanging with my BFF and happy smile. At least that's how it seems in the People pic. I hope he proposed in NYC bc he knows her enough to know she loves big cities -- I hope they know each other enough to know these small things; though who knows -- TLC probably set it up and told him how the proposal would go.

Even if they now have material -- i.e. another courtship; annoying wedding planning and dress shopping with Sierra; and a wedding -- isn't the taint of Josh still on the family and thus affecting ad revenue? People (and thus family friendly advertisers like Tide or various food companies) may even be able to get over the fact that Josh cheated on his wife with hookers. I mean people cheat -- it's not a crime (though I guess it could be if they were actually hookers) -- half of Congress has cheated. BUT most people (and thus most advertisers) can't ignore molestation of siblings as easily. It IS a crime whether prosecuted or not. And there's an ick factor. So given that TLC carried the ENTIRE last season with ads for other TLC shows and no ad revenues, I don't see them eating the cost twice. I think this season this show gets a non popular time slot for TLC -- Friday or late night or whatever. And if advertisers still remain uninterested, I think the show ends, despite however many courtships JB cooks up.

If they were in Amish country, I guess they're visiting the inlaws -- since they're not far from there. Cue the shot of JB telling every Amish person he can find -- oh you only have 9 kids (bc the Amish avg seems to be 6-10), I have 19. Jeremy doesn't smile -- he just shows his teeth. The only time we saw a smile was in the initial pics taken in Arkansas with her parents. Has the courtship gone south so quick that he no longer smiles??

He doesn't look as bad in the restaurant pic above -- again scruffy beard rather than a full one and not looking as pasty. Though they both do NOT look like a -- OMG we're SOOOO in love young couple. He's not even smiling, just showing teeth. She has her polite -- TLC wants me to smile -- look on her face. Normally I don't judge based on pics bc I know I have pics where I look weird -- but I have yet to see one pic where both of them look happy and comfortable at the same time. The Duggar diet has something to do with their men being gross. I realize he doesn't live with them but he's with them enough that I'd venture to guess he's had quite a few meals consisting of tater tot casserole or chickenetti and he's a MAN -- he is supposed to chow down; so it would look weird if he ate just a little or loaded his plate with salad instead. And they seem to be in restaurants a lot -- with his herp derp father in law always talking about getting his moneys worth with a huge steak or free pizza or whatever, again he probably realizes it won't look acceptable to these Neanderthals if a man were to order a piece of salmon with veggies or a large salad. Pretty sure the gender roles extend to food too. Not sure how long they've been together -- but a few months of a Duggar diet has got to shock the system.

I mean all of the sons in law so far have been gutless, so why would one think Jeremy is different? There's nothing that's so special about these girls and even amongst fundies there are girls out there who are funny, outgoing, have a real GED followed by even some local college education etc. -- i.e. the Bates. So in my view if you're ok associating with + marrying into the Duggars at that stage esp. after all their molestation issues have come to light, you are either incapable of getting a girl on your own but know that parents like you so you look for an arranged marriage with a Duggar (see Derick) or you have no career and no idea of what to do except for a vague idea re "ministry" and think Duggar fame will help you (see Ben and Jeremy most likely). If JB knows you're going to benefit from him financially, you WILL be dancing to his tune at least thru the wedding and in reality for your whole life.

Looking at it again -- I think it's the hair combed down and the thick/full beard; rather than a cooler hairstyle before and a scruff beard which suited his face more. Add to that the shirt he's wearing and the fact that he's lost his tan - and it looks like he's trying to (or has been asked to) tone it down and "fit in" with the Duggar men.