cereality

I've never heard JD say he'll never get married. 1-2 seasons ago when he built that playground for his siblings, he said - Lord willing I'll have kids and will build something like this for my own kids. You could hear in his voice how much he wanted that. But then the following season when prodded by a producer re marriage he said something like - I'm not thinking about it, I don't have time for that. To me that sounded like the defeated way that I and many of my single friends act sometimes - like you don't want a spouse/kids anyway so if it doesn't happen, doesn't matter bc you never wanted it . . . . I felt bad for him.

John may have been RAISED Gothard - like Alyssa - but I think they are moving towards fundie lite for their own family, much like Zach and Whit. How else is he ok with his wife wearing jeans and tank tops? We've even seeing their baby daughter in jeans. How else is he ok with his wife publicly saying (in an ABC interview) that she can't imagine having more than 6-7 kids? Or saying to her sisters that she wants a gap between her kids -- she didn't get that but clearly they are using/considering using BC or even just NFP. I don't see him being fully Gothard now.

Are the parents officially inching away from Gothard? I assumed it was a case of parents getting older and more confident in their child rearing and thus obsessing less re raising child no. 10 the perfect way than they did with no. 3. I also imagined the inlaws have had an impact - Whitney, John, and Bobby are all fundie lite and I think Gil and Kelly still consider them to be perfectly good inlaws and spouses for their fundie kids. So maybe they're realizing that you can raise kids to be quite conservative still without driving them nuts and isolating them. School may be more of an issue but I think if one of the kids came to Gil and said he wanted to play basketball or football like Dad and like John - who is supposed to be a good athlete also - I don't see him saying no right away and sending the kid to pray. I think he'd try to make it happen. Didn't he take one of his GIRLS to play tennis bc she had been asking?? I mean that's damn near re revolutionary for a fundie dad.

I think Kelly does try. I don't get the sense that her 14 yr olds are doing multiplication flashcards like their fundie friends in Arkansas. I imagine she has read up on her English, history, humanities over the years and can teach them. But it isn't easy to re-learn physics or chemistry or calculus just be reading up on it for the first time since 10th grade; and she appeared to love science labs yet it's not like she can build a chem lab at home. I would love if this trip made an impression on even one kid. Warden on down are age 13 and younger. It would be great if one of them said - can I go to school in September for 8th grade just like mom (and I think dad too) did? I imagine that Kelly and Gil would hem and haw, but could very well say yes. They are fairly solid in their faith; don't seem scared to death that the kids will stray from their faith unless they are kept isolated; obviously cherish their own memories and friends from school and may not mind their kids having that. Plus the older kids -- and even Gil and Kelly -- have said that as they have gotten deeper and deeper into parenting, they have grown more flexible and open minded and less rigid. So while they may have said NO if Nathan had asked 10 yrs ago, I could see them considering -- well -- this particular kid would thrive in that kind of structure, maybe we allow it for this yr . . . . Though of course they'd have to ensure that the kid didn't take sex ed or anything . . . .

Kelly looked so happy to be back in her hometown and esp. at her high school. I had no idea that her parents were divorced, she was raised separately from her siblings bc she stayed with her mom and dad had the rest, and that she grew up relatively "normal." I knew she and Gil went to high school and college (bc I think they met in college). But sounds like she really liked school and did well -- as she's always told the kids she was near the top of her class in what sounded like a 700+ person class. She seemed thrilled to see her teachers and sit in the science classroom. I only wish they'd give their kids that option of being "school kids" for that fleeting time in your life where your only "job" is being a student -- studying; finding a favorite teacher/class; making friends with your classmates; growing up together etc. I know this family is a lot more "reasonable" that some other fundies in that they allow -- and even seem to encourage -- their kids to go to the nearby college. So they do have some chance to take classes just bc they sound interesting, find an inspiring teacher/mentor, and meanwhile hang out with their peers. I only wish they'd allow that option before age 18. They could even make it an option -- whoever wants to go to public school for K-12 or even a few yrs can, but if you don't want to -- you can still homeschool. Their kids are an outgoing bunch who don't seem to view all outsiders with mistrust -- I believe many/most would like K-12 school.

I feel like in these fundie marriages -- it is so much "safer" from the woman's perspective if the guy is head over heels or desperate to marry her. Bc that is her only chance of having any semblance of the life she wants -- bc he'll love her/feel lucky enough to have her that he'll want her to be happy, will allow life to be how she wants it to be. I think the only Duggar girl that got that so far is Jessa - Bin was desperate to marry her and look -- living in a JB owned house, cleaning his toilets bc there was no way Jessa was going to move to Hot Springs and disrupt her life. On the Bates side - Chad and Erin are totally like that. He was obsessed with her and considered himself the luckiest man in the world that Erin would even consider him -- so look -- living in Erin's hometown bc she wanted to finish college, still not moving away even though college was over like 2-3 yrs ago bc likely Erin doesn't want to leave her family and be near the inlaws, pursuing fertility treatments etc. when I believe Chad as headship would have left it to God's will, I believe Erin's broken heartedness re miscarriages led them to pursue what she wanted -- i.e. medical care . . . . Derick and Jer both seem controlling to me -- I mean Derick has Jill living a life she hates just bc he wants to play missionary. And Jer- don't know yet but he just has that affect . . . .

Except that in the vast majority of these fundie marriages - that isn't true. The guy wants to marry. He wants to start banging. He wants a family of his own. He wants out of his mommy's house. So then the guys who aren't the "fall in love and pursue a girl" types just look for whoever is convenient to those goals (i.e. Austin; Brandon Keilen etc.) They find a girl they've known forever (Joy) or one they met somewhere and heard was drooling over them for 3 yrs (i.e. Michaela Bates) and find a situation where her daddy wants to marry her off, thinks he's good enough and boom it's a done deal. The guys make out well in this deal. They move out of their momma's house and yet never have to wash a single pair of underwear or cook a meal bc it is their bride's job to make sure the laundry is done and their favorite tator tot casserole is hot and ready when they arrive home from either real work or some made up job they consider "work" (either is fine for the headship - they can work for real or not); and if the guy doesn't like TTC and is a omlette and veggies kind of guy, well it's his wife's job to figure out what a beet is and how it's cooked. They get to have a family without giving birth (true of all marriages of course) but for fundies, they aren't even responsible for providing health insurance to make sure their wife gets some medical care and pain relief; they can simply insist that God put it in their heart that their kid will be born in the master bathroom. They don't need to lift a finger with said child but get to brag that they now have an Austin Jr. - followed by 10 other kids. If one day he decides he is down with camp ownership and wants to move to DC or Africa or wherever -- well God laid it in his heart and the wife has no choice but to follow her headship . . . . So I feel like the guys get the best of all worlds bc they get to pursue exactly the life they want, while the girls go into these passionless arranged marriages hoping their life goals match and their headship isn't nuts bc they know if life goals differ or if he's simply mentally ill - well he has the d!ck in the relationship, so whatever he wants is what'll happen . . . .

So watching some of the wedding special last night, all I could think was - Austin is a Duggar. Seriously he looks like Jed and has zero personality like all the Duggar boys. At the house he was standing next to Joy as she was giving instructions re flowers and he wasn't so much as smiling or looking at her. Same thing at the church putting the flowers together. I mean the wedding was in Nov so there's no way they weren't courting or getting to know you or whatever. And on the off chance they weren't it wasn't like it wasn't occurring to him that he supposedly likes this girl. And then not even one smile or hint of happiness?? I'm not suggesting he start making out with her - but any 22 yr old male that likes a girl would do little things like try to help with her projects instead of her brothers and then chat with her, joke around etc - even subtly so everyone wouldn't notice. He was standing there like - I'm a member of Gods army, our mission is weddings, get it done . . . . He's obv comfortable in their home - in next weeks preview he asks Jed where JB is and then goes upstairs to talk to him. Who does that?! We always saw Derick and Bin wait downstairs for their beaus and presumably their parents too.

This courtship will be vanilla pudding bc I don't get the sense that either person is into it wholeheartedly. Of all the courtships we've seen so far - for the Duggars or the Bates - at least 1 person was head over heels. Jessa acted like she was too cool for Bin and yet Bin was lusting after her bc he could not WAIT to get it on with the hot girl and bc of that you saw at least one side with genuine excitement for the wedding, proposal etc. Jill and Derick were equally desperate for each other; she wanted to be the first to marry and have a family and this guy allowed that and he just seemed happy that he was able to get a girl. Jinger and Jer seemed much like the Jill and Derick motives to me. On the Bates side, I feel like the couples have been MUCH better matched and wanted to marry as much as any regular boyfriend/girlfriend. Brandon and Michaela seemed the most one sided, which isn't to say Brandon doesn't love her but I had the feeling he was getting to an age where it was time to take a wife and make babies and Michaela happened to be lusting after him; and indeed Michaela was googly eyed and desperate for him so she's the one that brought the courtship excitement and he politely did nice things to make her feel special. Here - Austin pretty much acts like it's time for a wife and family and conveniently he's known Joy since age 5 and she says the right things and acts the part, so he'll be able to make life work with her. And Joy - at the sad HS graduation, she pretty much said that she has nothing to do now so she'd just help around the house and with the kids. So hey - if Austin came calling, why not, she's known him forever, can make it work with him and has nothing else to do now that she has a high school diploma so now might as well start making babies . . . . So I expect a very obligatory, polite courtship between these two - just going thru the motions they need to go through to get to the first kiss at the altar.

Had no idea what was going on with Joy and Austin - so I came here to catch up and watched that video. Wow. She may as well be dating one of her brothers. Austin looks like Jer, has a pilot's license and is outdoorsy like JD, and has the same - I'm 20-something and have given up on life affect as JD and Joseph. Clearly he is getting to an age where it's time to start having sex and making fundie babies, so he needs a girl who looks the part and has the right responses so she fits what he and his parents expect for a wife -- so Joy is good enough . . . . So I guess we should look forward to their life together being an obligatory slog - with babies within 9 months after marriage. I don't see ANY spark or ANY fun -- despite the fact that he said the word fun about 25 times in 90 seconds. He'll work at the camp all day, she'll go sit in the camp office to keep him company until there are babies, then he'll come home to a nice helping of TTC, they'll do bible studies, get it on, go to bed and repeat 6x a week with Sunday reserved for fellowshipping and church. Should be a "fun" 60-70 yrs. At least with Derick and Jer there was some hope that the Duggar girls' lives would change or world would grow. That hope turned into disappointment but there were/are still glimmers of it. After all - with Derick - Jill was getting a college grad; from big state u; who studied accounting; had a Fortune 500 job; lived overseas for 1-2 yrs; had a mom who wore pants and was a senior exec at a Fortune 500; presumably had friends; initially used to take her to NYC; introduce her to things like Broadway even if it involved sins like dancing; introduced her to Nepali food and exotic things like hummus and vegetables that don't come out of cans. With Jer - a college grad with an MBA; a pro soccer player who lived in a few different countries; an Italian from Jersey; who has friends; and said friends are Asian and Hispanic and [gasp] Yale grads!! I mean even if these things rubbed off on Jill and Jinger 5-10% of the time, their world would grow . . . . With Joy - I assume Austin is from a different rural Arkansas town and came up thru homeschooling and fundie church - since he's known her since age 5 . . . . Yeah no growth happening there. It'll be 2 people who've accepted this is what life is who are together to procreate. I 100% fault JB and Michelle for Joy's (and all their kids') lack of spark or enthusiasm for ANYTHING. This is what happens when you remove kids from the world and tell them the ONLY answer to anything in life is God or family. Most of us don't live thrilling lives day to day - we aren't Hollywood actors or athletes or whatever. Yet all of us have many different sides to our lives and can latch on to some parts that we enjoy at various times. There are people out there enjoying school or work or friends or obsessed with sports/TV/music/hobbies . . . . I mean even the Bates who have the same fundie beliefs have NOT been locked away by their parents and consequently they seem SO normal compared to the Duggars. Kelly Bates has talked about one of the teen girls (can't remember which one) who loves college life (albeit commuter) SO much that once she's at school in the morning, it's hard to get her back home even after classes are over bc she's hanging out. She's talked about another teen-20 something girl - also in college -who they see so little of now bc when she isn't in school, she's in her bedroom texting her boyfriend - like a normal 20 yr old in 2017! There's a Bates boy who is trying to launch a career in Nashville - chances are it may not succeed but whatever - he is running all over trying to play small shows and any gigs he can get to get his name out there. Even one of the sons in law - who grew up fundie himself - seems to be remarkably passionate about furniture making/restoration and is trying to launch a side business. THIS is what happens when you allow kids to have friends and peers and interests - not shut them down and send them to the prayer closet if they even suggest that they have an interest in an activity that involves not sitting around staring at their siblings . . . .

Can't speak to the younger siblings bc there are so freaking many of them - but I agree that Jill just doesn't have close relationships with the siblings. Sure she's one of the sibling crew and they are each others best friends bc mom and dad said so. But the Jana and Jill are BFFs and Jinger and Jessa are BFFs narratives are just for TV. I think Jessa and Jinger ARE close. I don't think Jana and Jill are. I think Jana is closer with Joy Anna - they have similar personalities. And I think Jana is close - to the extent allowed - with her twin JD. But I feel like it was said before - hard to be close with Jill bc she'd snitch on them for every little thing . . . .

Yeah -- wow -- he cannot sing. I mean he'd be fine leading a family sing along at a BBQ, but if he intends to get signed with a record label and tour and make money on it -- it ain't happening. I think he's gotten enough exposure thru his fundie fan base and Bringing up Bates, that he can and SHOULD take advantage of it to get a job in Nashville in the music industry. There's enough behind the scenes production work or he could do lighting/stage management for live shows - which there are a ton of in Nashville; I imagine someone in town will be willing to hire him and allow him to learn on the job and will guide him to taking some courses/getting any certifications he may need. It wouldn't be a bad way to make a living, it would keep him around music which he seems to love, and he could continue to write on the side and would know enough producers etc. that he'd have a shot at selling a song or two. I think those are more viable options than becoming the next Luke Bryan or whoever. I say the same thing every time though -- there's a lot of genuine love in that family. I love how Zach said - impressing your big brother is the hardest thing, but he was impressed. I also love how Lawson was running out the doors to wherever he needed to be for the record signing and he ran by Gil who grabbed his arm and pulled him in for a hug to say congratulations. I love that they are happy for him bc he is achieving what he wants - whether it's what they would have chosen for him or not.

24k? These morons think they are geniuses and the rest of us haven't seen the world or lived at all. Though I guess their fundie followers haven't and will be inclined to donate. 24k can take care of all living expenses in midtown MANHATTAN for 6 months. So it can take care of living expenses in El Salvador for how long -- 3-4 yrs?? The average doctor in El Salvador makes like 18k/yr - and these are the people living at the highest echelons of society there, sending their kids to private school and med school etc. So Jilly and Derick expect to live that lifestyle for 1.5 yrs?? And why on earth are they going there with Jill 4-5 months pregnant? Do they really think they can pray away Zika? Why take the risk NOW for a fake mission? And how exactly will they fund the delivery? Are they insured? Last time Derick still worked at Walmart so when the home birth didn't work, they could go to the hospital. This time - uh - I hope it's the same. But have they really been paying $500+ (or more like 800-1000 for 3 ppl) per month for decent insurance? Or do they also think they don't need that bc they're religious?

They're going back?? How pregnant is Jill? Is this a few month stay or a 2 week mission vacation? Any chance the next kid is born in Central America?

Unlikely that he finished the MBA if he just did it for the 5th yr of soccer eligibility - though some sports teams have you do summer school etc. to ensure your degree gets done even if you leave early for the pros. But even if he didn't finish - he has a business admin undergraduate degree and Derick has an undergrad degree in accounting and economics. All of those are so employable it's painful. I mean these guys could easily get entry level corporate jobs for 50k+ -- Derick in fact had one of these jobs at a Fortune 500 and walked away in barely 1 yr. It would be one thing if they were English literature and French majors bc then JB could lord it over them that college means nothing and even with college they still need the ministry for jobs or need to clean JB's toilets or something. But with the degrees both of them have, they could easily kick JB and TLC to the curb and go live happily ever after with their wives and 11 kids each. Yet I believe both are lazy. Why work 40+ hrs a week for 50k and benefits and to wind your way slowly (and sometimes painfully) up the corporate ladder, when you can roll out of your bed at noon, spend a few hours a week "counseling" or "fellowshipping," spend another 2 hrs writing a sermon, and spend an hr delivering it on Sunday. I mean 10 hrs work/wk vs. 40?? They're both dumb. The show won't last forever and when the show goes so will their fake ministeries bc ppl will soon forget that they were fundie "stars." And by then they'll have 10 kids each - so then what? Sure they have college degrees unlike their Duggar brothers in law but the world is competitive - employers are not particularly forgiving of 35 yr olds who don't have corporate experience.

I can see Jinger being the most well liked sister. She's not a snitch like Jill or a bitch like Jessa and she has some personality unlike Jana and Joy who are ridiculously boring. I do remember that episode when they went to go get Joseph at Alert. It was freaking weird bc just the way Jinger was looking at him and talking about wanting to hug him - it honestly came across the way a girlfriend talks about a boyfriend whose been gone all semester, not the way a sister talks about a brother no matter how close. And then there was some full frontal hug action going on btwn Jinger and Joseph. Not a big deal in normal families, but to make SUCH a big deal about separation of sexes and then to be THAT googly eyed over your own brother - kinda makes you wonder WTH is up in that home?!?

Totally agree that Babe wants to be back on the east coast - his whole family is in PA and his friends all seem to be in NY/NJ. Jing would likely be agreeable to it bc her goal always was "big city" - and even suburban NJ is a big cosmopolitan area compared to rural Arkansas or Laredo. Plus even if Jing wasn't agreeable - Jer seems domineering - I imagine he'd pull the "headship" stance. But honestly I don't see it happening bc NYC is very high cost of living - and even NJ and Pa are pretty expensive compared to Tx or Arkansas. So ministering 10 hrs/wk is not going to cut it. Though he does have a finance degree and is a Syracuse grad so likely there's a decent alumni network in NY state/NJ etc. - so if he REALLY wanted to make it happen, he could get a real 9-5 job.

A LOT of athletes want to stay in school for 5 yrs -- often bc they are close to getting recruiting but their stats aren't quite good enough by yr 4 or they had to redshirt a yr and thus want to be able to show more goals etc. in yr 5. So it's very common for them to get a grad degree in something (bc you have to be enrolled in the school so if undergrad is done, you enroll in any grad program). But you're right - I imagine he did a finance (or accounting or econ or something similar) undergrad and thus had the basic knowledge to enroll in the finance masters. All of which are odd choices for someone who wants to be a minister. Though I feel like we've heard that he had a "normal" college life -- i.e. drinking; partying etc. So from ages 18-23 and while on the soccer circuit, he likely WASN'T trying to be a minister. I mean maybe it's just me but I 100% do NOT believe that Jer was a virgin at marriage - born again - sure, but he NEVER messed around with any girl when he was playing pro soccer in Finland, I don't buy it. As for his soccer career - don't know the details - but I get the sense he wasn't that successful bc he only played a few yrs and was on like 3-4 separate teams, which means he was getting traded away. I looked into it when the engagement was announced, and I recall that the soccer career ended when the last team he was with went bankrupt - and I assume he couldn't get himself on another one, so he had to find something to do. So I'm thinking he was couch surfing with TLC and Joel Osteen and the like and conveniently found the "ministry" -- I mean why adjust to 40 hrs a wk at age 27 if you can have a "job" where you're out and about and working 10 hrs/wk. Same stunt as Derick I think - they find their girl on TLC and then conveniently turn into "ministers" as they hop on the TLC gravy train and hop on a virgin bride. As for the parents - Dillard Sr. passed away when Derick was a college frosh and I honestly think Derick would NOT be married to Jill or would at least be working a corporate job even if he were married to Jill if he had guidance from his dad when coming of age. Jer - IDK - the dad seems nuts too, so he's probably proud of his son . . . .

Jer went to grad school for finance? So he wants to be a fake minister, why exactly?? I don't get these Duggar men - which is what these sons in law are. Why so desperate to be in the "ministry" - when it's fake churches or judging from the house Jeremy preaches in, a "church" with a congregation of 10. I imagine it amounts to like 10 hrs work/wk. Sure he probably spends all day Sunday there - but aside from that - how much Christian counseling is happening at 10 am on Tuesday when I imagine his flock has to be working to earn a living? I imagine he has (or started w/o graduating) a masters in finance program - since that'd be 1 yr right after undergrad, rather than an MBA which would be 2 yrs and may require some work experience beforehand. Not that Jinger would know the difference. But he could get himself a real corporate gig in Laredo with even just a finance undergrad and earn at least 50k/yr with benefits etc. And then he could spend his nights on fundie ministering and youth groups and preach on weekends if he so desired. Why make this ministry his full time work?? Where exactly is Jer's apartment in Laredo? There were 5 -- count them 5 -- locks on his door. I've lived in big cities, so I get it -- but damn -- do the Duggars feel that is a safe situation for their daughter? A corporate gig may allow him to get an apartment in a nicer part of town. Haven't kept up with Jinger/Jer so have no idea what their life has looked like post-marriage, though I know Christmas was in Pa. and it doesn't seem (from her Instagram) that she's gone running back to Arkansas. Usually with fundie couples, when they move far from both families and are super quiet -- it means at first they are enjoying banging their brains out and then are busy going fundie-lite and are too busy with TV, movies, sports, and friends to go running home all the time -- i.e. Alyssa Webster and John in Florida. But in this case - I don't know. Jer is just as fundie and for whatever reasons comes off as controlling. So the fact that they are spending the holidays in Pa. and not back in Arkansas yet could be demands by Jer that they must spend the first x months working on their marriage or whatever before they take any trips back to Arkansas etc.

I think Gil and Kelly learned a LOT more than they've admitted from Zach's failed courtship. I think before that, they too wanted their kids to have fundy-ideal relationship. Meaning - they'd have perfectly chaste kids who wouldn't so much as look at, let alone talk to a member of the opposite sex, until one day a courtship partner fell out of the sky (for the girls) or God put it in their hearts that a certain girl was the one (the boys). Then they'd court from a distance- no handholding or touching or kissing and wind up with a spouse and a perfect wedding night. And then reality happened and Zach's courtship ended. They saw how heartbroken their son was and heard him say that he didn't know what to talk to girls about and even felt uncomfortable sitting close to a girl on the couch and I think reality set in - that if they enforced their draconian rules, they'd end up with a bunch of 30 yr old awkward bachelor sons (aka John Duggar) and daughters leaping to court any guy that so much as looked at them (Derick Dillard or Ben Seewald anyone) and they may even end up with a few divorcees if they went into marriages not knowing a single thing about their spouse and having no chemistry with them. Gil and Kelly's "rules" are actually quite relaxed and amount to fairly normal dating. Sure there's more family involvement than most relationships - but frankly I've known a lot of regular 20 yr old couples who spend a lot of time hanging out with their boy/girlfriend's family simply bc they still live at home. I also think the "rules" aren't really enforced. Sure they prefer chaperones but Kelly has even said that the couples have privacy to speak as they wish and chaperones will not be sitting with them even if they're in the same restaurant etc. Here Carlin (?) was the chaperone for the courtship proposal and she could be seen WAY off in the distance taking pics -- doubt she could hear a word even if she wanted. And Kelly has said before that Tori comes home from college and goes straight upstairs and texts Bobby all day long - as any 21 yr old would - so they've presumably had lots of time to talk about what their lives will look like, whether they want 2 kids or 20, whether she likes beaches or mountains better etc. Kelly also said they have a "6 inch rule" in terms of distance between significant others - yet Tori's head is constantly on Bobby's shoulder. Yet we've never seen Kelly or Gil say anything to embarrass the couple about it. Frankly even with Erin and Chad, I recall a scene where they were talking about how they haven't kissed but really want to - and Erin was practically sitting in Chad's lap. So even with courtship #1 - Gil and Kelly "allowed" couples to behave as they wanted without being in their face about it. Tori is probably my least favorite - I find her way too obnoxious. The courtship episode was boring - Bobby should've just asked her when she walked in the door, rather than doing all those "stations" showing their weekend activities; or he should have just taken her to the beach that first evening and asked. Frankly they know they're getting married and should jump right to engagement. Tori is a lot more tolerable near Bobby - she tones down her obnoxiousness near him; he was really quiet this episode - though I think he's fairly outgoing as we saw at the summer camp. Also interesting that Kelly thinks Tori and Bobby are the most like Gil and Kelly; I don't see it -- I can see Bobby being the fun one, but which one is Tori like - neither Gil nor Kelly seem crazy or loud to me.

Bobby's roommate in college. I didn't get the sense that Tori met Bobby's roommate in FL - rather she met him in Tenn., somehow that led to an intro to Bobby, she talked to Bobby long distance for a fair bit of time, and he started to feel this was the one - when she finally came down to meet him in person, he had told his parents - if she's half as great in person as what I think she is, this is a done deal.

I wonder how much of it is sheer physical exhaustion from Derick. He doesn't look great - he doesn't even look normal for himself, if how we saw him at the wedding was his normal. I have to imagine that in addition to being that thin, he may have some very real physical fatigue happening - ESP if there's some vitamin deficiencies etc. Those types of things make it very hard to make any changes in your life - you just slog thru the day to day and in his case - a day to day of waking up whenever, playing with Iz, bible study, and lounging around the house may be all the energy he has. I'm not saying he's looking to go back to WMT - but given that he's done being in CA full time, maybe he had a plan back in the day for being a missionary for a few yrs and then a corporate job using his accounting/Econ degrees. But right now even considering what to do 40 hrs a wk after CA may be exhausting to him.

And Derick KNOWS that Godly men put on their big boy pants and provide - bc his dad who he looked up to did it. He said he did everything like his dad - ran track, swimming, pistol Pete, same college etc. So why not work like dad did? Not saying he has to be - or even could be - a cop, but he majored in accounting and economics and held down a job at a Fortune 500 for a year - so clearly he's capable of it. Me thinks part of it is looking around and seeing that your FIL and your 50 BILs roll out of bed at noon and yet still have a huge home, cars, latest iPhones etc so why should he slog 40 hrs/wk now that he's married into a situation where that isn't necessary? Something isn't right with Derick. Oh and seeing him on the float surrounded by all the other guys REALLY highlighted how much weight he's lost. He did not look like that when getting married - not at all. Why not go get a physical - not with your wife which they did last episode (ew - who wants to do a dr appt like that in front of anyone) - but go to U Arkansas, have a full work up, and make a plan for how to proceed . . . .

How could this child not have a weird name? How odd would it be to introduce your sons as Spurgeon and Michael? I don't understand the fundies who act surprised re pregnancy. You're screwing with your 21 yr old husband with no protection - what do you think is going to happen? She either needs to start feigning a tough recovery from childbirth and/or "headaches" to push Bin off, or they'll be having another child in 12 months.

So is there a name yet, or is it a suspenseful surprise like last time? Home birth - even after everything that happened last time?? Maybe that's the pic of a birthing center as I feel like Anna went to one for one of the births and then left hours after the birth, as if she was coming home from a physical. Though in that pic she either birthed in her own room or left any kind of birthing center asap to rush home -- bc even birthing centers are set up like professional medical spaces -- they wouldn't have a dresser right by the mother's feet -- they'd have as much empty room as possible around the bed so professionals could get in there as needed. So this baby was birthed with the assistance of whom - Jill or some other fake fundy midwife?