ivygirl

I doubt it as well. My guess is that Sandoval is so irritated with Stassi and so interested in defending Ariana’s honor that he’ll find any reason to justify his outburst, even after seeing the scene. He didn’t seem to have had any change of heart, judging by last night’s WWHL appearance. Maybe they were playing a real song that Bravo didn’t want to purchase the rights for, so they had to dub it over.

Downloaded from Instagram? Blown-up copies of photos from an event photo booth? He kinda reminds me of Shaun Ryder from the Happy Mondays.

Jax acting like the drumming monkey toy wins the episode. I find it hard to like or side with any of these people (I was getting there with Sandoval but he had to be all CHECK YOUR FACTS and he lost some sheen). The only one left standing is Billie and I’m guessing that’s because she hasn’t been on all that long.

Color me skeptical, but methinks Jeremy asked Billie out for screen time rather than twu luv. Not that he couldn’t genuinely like her, but hey, this is VPR. I was all “awwww” at James’ story re: George Michael and his parents’ breakup but he had to do his little rap and that kind of ruined the moment ;)

Oh geez. Ariana is so nasal, I thought that was Scheana; and it sounds like Guillermo is saying “welcome to Sewer” at the beginning... which is apt on some levels...

Gah. Does Anne Burrell have it in her contract that she’ll win? Steven’s food was absolutely beautiful; 100%, it was restaurant quality in appearance. Hazell’s food looked good, but not as high end. It sounds like her flavors were stronger, but as I can’t tell that for myself, I was going with visuals.

Oh geez. I just injured my eyes by rolling them so hard while scrolling through her Instagram page. She does look lovely but holy cow, she is trying waaaayyyyy too hard with some of the stuff she shares. I didn’t see her posts for Saddleback but I’m kinda mystified as to how she got a job as spokesperson for them.

It is indeed hard to feel sorry for her when people DID try to warn her. She has selective hearing and a selective memory to boot... The way she talks about Shay bugs me. First off, it’s obnoxious; and secondly, continuing to bring him up at every turn doesn’t precisely convince anyone that you’re *really* over the guy (and I mean that broadly—not that she wants him back, but she’s still chewing on the relationship and if she were really past it all, she wouldn’t *talk about it constantly*).

Soooo, Rob talks about the house the way Scheana talked about the relationship, i.e. falsely and speculatively?

The bottle reminds me of an Avon perfume my aunt had in the 80s. Dorit was 100% inappropriate. LVP and I have very little in common, but we do share this: don’t press me. Let me have my space and don’t push your agenda on me. Meanwhile that party was like the Mad Hatter’s tea party—except that instead of riddles, it was all LVP’s sly remarks. That was some next-level drama right there. Rinna has taken a page from other HWs: the less screen time you have, the better you come off.

They sound so cute! Like, super kawaii until you think about it ;) Top of the Muffkin TO YOU!

On a similar note, we also were treated to Scheana saying we should take things Jax says with “the smallest grain of salt.” As well as Lala’s continued contextually inappropriate “dude”s. (To Billie, talking about a guy who didn’t want to be with her: “You’re an f’in chick, dude.”)

LOL More vodka cranberries! PumpTINI! Yeah that’s my vote, rather than anything “street illegal.” I’d hope that they had better sense than that, especially right before an important business meeting.

Personally I think she got testy *because* they were late, hungover, and smelly and would NOT STOP TALKING. Lisa seems to reprimand people in that way—she takes away “privileges” if you break her trust.

Tosser Toms are acting like toddlers in a furnishing shop. Next week: more screaming and yelling! More lady parts! Oh, yay.

They were getting along nicely! A said that when K is away from “the coven,” she’s cool and if she were always that way, they’d be great friends. It was actually nice to hear. The Toms are late. Schwartz mentioned Adderall.

Sandoval called duck “quacktastic.” And he kept up the quack jokes. Lala basically said Scheana is a craptastic singer who’s not worthy of being on her track.

Can you stream on the Bravo app, @dosodog?

She surprised him in a lounge with the test. He was surprisingly laid back. Later he asked how the test works. I don’t buy that either Jax or Jason Taylor doesn’t know how a pregnancy test works.

Brittany took a pregnancy test. Vanderpump Rules: brought to you by Tito’s, Postmates, and Clearblue Easy.

@dosodog—Lala took Scheana to the studio. Scheana complained about what Jax said re: Rob not being into her and started being all “WE’RE NAMING OUR BABIES!” And Lala was like, cool your jets, you just got divorced. You’ve known each other for 11 years but you haven’t been intimate for that long at all. Wait for him to come to you about marriage. Which I know isn’t 100% the rule, but it’s generally true, even for someone like SuperRob.

Lala’s advice to Scheana was actually solid. Scheana needs to slow her roll. Lala Kent, Unlikely Voice of Reason... Also love that Sandoval and Schwartz are wafting towards their future...

Never would have expected to see him on the Oscars! Good on him, though. It’s a lovely song.

I hate ads that basically just shove butts in my face for the duration of the commercial. It happens very frequently in jeans commercials, but it’s also true of the current Fabletics commercial. However, in the Fabletics ad, after shoving a bunch of identically sized toned butts in my face, they kindly tell me that they have leggings “that look as good as they feel, for all shapes and sizes.” I can’t tell if that’s actually true, because I don’t want to sign up on their website just to see their products (another irritating tactic); but that ad leads me to assume (ha) they have cute styles for petite girls, and that they a) have a wide range of two styles for “curvy” girls, and/or b) make like 2 pairs of cute pants per style for anything over an M, just to say that they make them. I thought the Kate Hudson ads were annoying... be careful what you wish for...

I’m sad that Bryn was sent home. She was my favorite. Alex for the win, for me. Overall, though, this has been an enjoyable season. I’m so glad that the kids are generally “just kids” and I don’t mind if they’re a *little* stagey, because a show full of kids who had no stage presence would just not be interesting to me. And Valerie and Duff are such great hosts. I wish they’d ditch Nancy and add Valerie to the adult version. I don’t think Nancy adds anything but obvious favoritism and stank face. But I digress.