John M

I HATE IT when people do that. Giving a TED talk is a big fucking deal, it's a huge honor. What she gave was a TEDx talk which anyone can do, absolutely anyone can organize a TEDx event, some are organized by well respected organizers in major cities and have great speakers, some will let basically anyone speak and spew utter non-sense with basically zero vetting. The only way Whit would be allowed anywhere near a TED stage is if she received a Ph.D. and published a groundbreaking and peer reviewed research paper proving that PCOS causes weight gain in violation of the laws of thermodynamics.

Actually I kind of believe her. I don't like cake either, it doesn't mean I don't eat it when you put it in front of me but if you told me I could eat anything one day and have the calories not matter the last thing on my mind to eat would be cake or really any desert. But I think Whit has a compulsive need to consume sugar and fat and cake will work if it is there. It's the same thing with her and her coffees, what she is drinking is not coffee, it's coffee flavored sugar, chocolate and heavy cream that she thinks is somehow more socially acceptable. I bet if you gave her the option of either a glass of black coffee or a glass of just cream, chocolate and sugar and told her no one would ever know which one she took she drank it wouldn't be the black coffee.

Ehhhh.... I guess I probably take a more pragmatic view of relationships, they are transactions. A lot of people get married for a lot of reasons, sex, companionship, money, stability and it's law in the US that you can marry a foreign partner and eventually convey citizenship to them, I don't think it is any more my place to say that a sexual arrangement is inherently wrong when we turn a blind eye to it all the time in the US. I mean I love my partner for many, many reasons but I can't say that if he stopped having sex with me that our romantic relationship could or should continue. I think he would say the same thing, it's a major reason his 15 year marriage ended.

Just for reference there is a term for the "modeling" that Pao is doing, it's called "video ho" http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Video Ho

I completely disagree. Chantel is young, immature, hasn't started her career, has no interest in compromises in an adult relationship. Pedro has similar issues although not as bad. This marriage is doomed and they are wasting their time.

I don't understand what Pedro an Chantel are even trying to save here, face? The marriage is over, there are other men and women in the sea, both of you leave each other and this doomed infatuation that you tried to turn into a marriage alone. And Danielle, get mental help, you clearly thought you were buying a sex slave, when it didn't work out you don't get to just return him to his previous country for not having sex with you enough. We all know if Mo was fucking her on the regular that she wouldn't be trying to have him deported. You brought him her under false pretenses and then you tried to blackmail him for sex, Danielle is a sexual predator but to mentally ill and stupid to even do a good job at it.

Isn't the Pedro/Chantel really just a forest for the trees situation? Yes both families are awful but I hardly see any reason to drag them into it when Pedro and Chantel are clearly completely fundamentally incompatible on their own. What this show needs is some sane person to explain to both of them that this isn't working, that it is never going to work and they need to just walk away before they waste any more time and energy on this doomed relationship. Actually I think we need that show, just an hour with a couple and someone laying out why they just need to break up/divorce instead of wasting any more time and energy on their unsalvageable relationship.

My partner is almost 10 years older than me (Mid 30s/Mid 40s) and for a while he was really self-conscious about the age difference and wondering why I wanted to be with someone as old as he is. I mean my first answer is because I love him and we have so many shared interests and similar (dark) senses of humor and the age difference is not THAT big, I mean it's not ideal but what relationship ever is. But my second answer is why wouldn't I want to be? He has a good job, owns a house, has very little debt, generally has his shit together, is kind, I'm just lucky he was still on the market when I snatched him. Single guys: You may not have all your hair, or the best body, or the six figure income but never underestimate they sexiness of just having your shit together. Anyone that you should want to date is going to find it to be a huge turn on.

I just want to know what the hell is wrong with Russ, I mean personal preference but I think he is a really attractive guy and doesn't seem crazy or weird, I wouldn't think he would have any problems finding an attractive woman with her shit together to date/marry.

People don't change, for better or worse people are who they are and your choices are to accept that and decide to still be with that person flaws and all or move on. Pedro is always going to choose his family over Chantel, Anfisa will always choose money over Jorge, Mo will always choose having sex with anyone else but Danielle because the woman is dumb and crazy and really has no appealing physical or personal characteristics. It's amazing how many people in relationships just refused to accept the plain truth right in front of them. None of these couples are going to work out and it's sad to see them drag these failed relationships out.

I'm reminded about my other favorite show about clearly doomed marriages, Say Yes to The Dress where half the women want sexy wedding dresses. Come on, it's a wedding, everything doesn't have to be sexy, buy some nice lingerie for the honeymoon, you don't need to look like your wedding dress came from Fredericks of Hollywood.

I can't even hate on Anfisa, she is a one client hooker, she has made it implicitly clear that she is only in the relationship for money. Intentional or not Anfisa is Jorge's Dom and she is going to dish it out as long as he continues to take it. I'm baffled by Russ, I think he is a really attractive guy, I would sleep with him in a heartbeat if I was single, he also seems like a genuinely loving and kind person. Besides the unemployed thing I think he is a catch, he's isn't even socially awkward. I don't get why he is with Pao, I would think he would have no problem getting an American girl who treats him like he deserves to be treated and not some delusional wannabe "model" who one even become like a hostess or something to contribute to the household. Pedro and Chantel's relationship is doomed, I don't know what to say. They just aren't compatible on a really fundamental level. I think they love each other and if they can get over this they will probably friends for a long time but they aren't going to be married in 5 years and they should stop putting so much energy into this thing that is clearly not working and isn't going to work.

They can have whatever arrangement they want, maybe she has no income and they are completely relying on his income to pay the bills. Fine, that is reasonable if she is in school. If they were a responsible adult couple they would have a budget, they would agree on what they spend on groceries, they would agree on what the appropriate apartment for them to sign a lease on is, they can negotiate all of this but as long as he is holding his end of the deal up which might be paying for everything that is the deal and the rest of the money is his to spend as he pleases because he earned it. Once the lease is up maybe they decide they are more financially stable and decide to spend more on an apartment, that is fine but as long as the rent check is clearing for this lease there is nothing to fight about right now. The problem of course is they don't have a mature relationship, they obviously did not negotiate a financial arrangement that they were both OK with, Chantal wants the money because she thinks it is hers to do with as she pleases just because they are married. And that might be fine for some couples but it clearly is not for Pedro. So they need a new financial arrangement, that may include a nicer apartment but Chantal gets to spend his money as she pleases is clearly not a tenable arrangement for Pedro and if they can't come up with something that works for both of them they might as well end things now, something at the core of their relationship is just going to get much worse over time.

Nope, completely disagree, marriage or really any relationship is about working together towards goal. It's an arrangement and that arrangement can and should be different for each couple. I think it is great that some couples decide that completely sharing their finances is the healthiest situation for both of them, it's also a way for a lot of relationships to end in disaster that don't have to. I'm not married but I am in a very serious long term relationship, we will most likely get married at some point in the future. Like any couple in a committed relationship we have a cost sharing arrangement, shared expenses are just that, shared expenses, things of equal value to both of us that we both consume. I drink coffee, he doesn't, he drinks (IMO hideously overpriced) Monster energy drinks, we both drink bourbon. We take turns buying the bourbon, I buy my own coffee, he buys his own Monsters, what he spends on the Monsters is entirely his own business as long as I don't see an empty bottle of bourbon when it is his turn and a fridge full of Monsters and he says he couldn't afford the bourbon. If we get married that arrangement is not going to change, he earned that money and it is his right to spend it however he wants without question as long as he holds up his end of our financial arrangement. I assume they have a lease on the apartment, they both agreed and signed it, as long as he is paying his portion of the rent the rest of the money he earned is his to spend as he chooses. When the lease is up they can renegotiate the deal, until then it his his money to spend as he chooses and he is not obligated to put the money into a nicer apartment just because she wants one and thinks she deserve it just because. Relationships are give and take, they are negotiations and as long as each side is holding up to their commitment everything else is fair game.

I get that they are both awful people and the idea of having sex with Danielle is disgusting but I also take issue with the idea that them having sex once in 3 months automatically means he is cheating and assumes men are all giant sluts physically incapable of not fucking anyone for 3 months. There are sexless marriages, most are horribly dysfunctional but not all of them are. Sex for me is an incredibly important part of a relationship, something that I could not go without but that is not everyone and to just assume because a couple hasn't had sex in three months means that that the man is certainly cheating is offensive to men. Yeah, Mo is probably cheating, yes he was taking advantage of her, he probably wants sex more often than once every three months and probably finds the idea of having sex with Danielle disgusting, fine, I'm on board, I hate both of them. But acting like not being fucked in 3 months is giant irrefutable smoking gun of infidelity is bullshit.

I don't understand why this pre-nup stuff is such a big deal, I mean I know a lot of people are offended by it because their ~love is going to last forever~ but when things started getting really serious with my partner, like I knew marriage was most likely in the road map I had three requirements, 1. We would always keep our finances separate. 2. There will be no kids, non-negotiable and 3. There will be a pre-nup and we would walk out with exactly we walked in with including any personal windfalls, gifts or debts as if we were not married if it ended up that way. I just said this is how it is going to be and if you are not OK with that I need to know now because I can't let this go any further because those are complete non-negotiable deal breakers and I'm not going to go further down the line and be hurt more than I would be hurt now ending things. A huge number of marriages end in divorce, sad but true, even if you are completely ~in love~ and if you can't deal with that before you sign the marriage certificate you probably shouldn't get married.

OMG, same feeling. I have a good friend that runs a large-ish charity for people with AIDS, I'm gay, and I have a few good friends that are HIV+ so I generally just try and stay well informed on the subject. But my monogamous partner and myself are both HIV- and yet I'm constantly seeing ads for HIV medication and support services. I'm sure there is some database somewhere that is pretty sure I am HIV+ and I hope that never comes back to bite me.

Notice how Jorge pays for everything in cash? And I noticed the only card he had was a prepaid debit card. Given the nature of his business I doubt he is able to put much if any income in a real bank account and Anfisa needs to worry about the IRS going after her in the probably likely chance that he is not on the up and up on his taxes. I mean if she wanted to stay in the US, she would probably just say I'm out and go back to Russia if the IRS went after her.

As has been mentioned a few times before Oil/Gas is an incredibly cyclical industry, always has been, always will and everyone in the industry knows it. The jobs also tend to pay extremely well in places with low costs of living. It would not be unusual for Russ to own his house outright and have enough savings to live on for years if he tighten his belt a little bit and wasn't being bleed dry by a delusional "model" that wants to live in one of the most expensive cities in the US. I have a feeling what is going on here is that Russ is in no hurry at all to find a job and has more than enough in savings to fund his lifestyle for quite a while, he has probably made it clear that that money is to live off of until he gets his next preferred job and they have to do some belt tightening until then. Pao on the other hand thinks he should just get a job, any job and than that silly money he has to get him through a long period of unemployment becomes her personally piggy bank to fund a lavish lifestyle.

Can we talk about how awful Anfisa's skin is? For someone as vain as she is without any reservations about facial procedures you would think she would get her skin taken care off. To vain to admit she has a serious acne problem?

All admit that I just started watching 90 day but I guess what stands out to me is how one sided the relationship is. I mean if you boil any relationship down enough aren't they all a bit transactional? Not to be too cynical but we all seek aspects in our partners that are often deficient in ourselves and financial stability certainly can be one of those things. But most of the time in healthy relationships we offer something significant in exchange that our partner is deficient in. But in this situation Jorge is a obese, misogynistic, broke felon and habitual liar and Anfisa has made it clear the only reason she is in this is he made financial promises and frankly he doesn't have anything more to offer.

Honestly I don't even hate Anfisa that much, she is basically a hooker. He knows the deal, he is a fat loser with a bad personality, a criminal record in a criminal business (Federal, I know it is legally local but that hasn't stopped the occasional bust and certainly won't under Trump/Sessions), she has reason to believe that she is way out of his league. She has made it very clear that the relationship is about money and he wrote checks he can't cash. Also I wonder if the isn't some kind of S&M relationship, I mean she isn't that hot, he can find a cheaper hooker.

Let's not forget that it was mentioned in passing that Roller did the "wet work" i.e. killing people and disposing of their bodies

Do we know that Dean is mentally challenged? He appears to have autism but it doesn't mean he has cognitive impairment or lessened desire for a romantic relationship.

Nah, it's not unusual for completely consensual rough sex to get a little out of hand and a line to get crossed and it just means stop doing that thing or be more gentle but continue having sex with me. I can only speak to my personal experience but sometimes my partner likes be lightly choked during sex and sometimes my hands get a just a little too tight (For comfort, not safety) and he asks me to stop but most definitely wants to continue having sex. And the choking is a thing that he wants, not something that I am particularly into.