Blackadder Mafia

[Drogo]

What alcoholic beverages would feel most refreshing when caprice throws them in our faces?

...Plastic not glass, please.

[Lisin]

Something with seltzer? 

[Jesse]

Maybe just vodka. I mean, I'll take a vodka, please.

[TJtrack99]

*peeks in*

For the record, today is National Whiskey Sour Day.

*flees*

[MarkHB]

That sounds good!

[egavasc]

I'll take that! 

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Hi guys

Because I'm all about managing expectations:  

The story will be up by no later than early morning Friday, US time (possibly slightly sooner than the 36 hour scheduled time).  Once we hit the weekend, the schedule may get a little more extended, but I'll keep you updated as we go along.

Your loving mod,

Madame M. Chainsmoker, Esq.

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Day 2

Right now, it’s time to leave our friend Lord Blackadder for a bit so we can check in on one of his ancestors, a Mr E. Blackadder, Esquire.  The fortunes in the Blackadder family have fallen rather dramatically in the intervening few hundred years since Lord Blackadder was a favored member of the Queen's royal entourage.   This version of “Mr. B” is not a member of the House of Lords.   Instead, he works as a butler to the George, the particularly thick-headed Prince of Wales, Prince Regent of England.   Fortunately, the family gift of bitter sarcasm has only been gotten sharper over the generations.   This Edmund has particular reason to be cranky, as he himself notes: “It's no life for a man of noble blood being servant to a master with the intellect of a jugged walrus and all the social graces of a potty.”

Our story begins with the Prince regaling his butler with tales of his previous evening’s activities.  “As you know, I looked divine when I arrived at the party.  Suddenly, these two ravishing beauties came up to me and whispered in my ear.. that they loved me! Five minutes later I was in a coach flying through the London night bound for the ladies' home!”

“Go on, Your Majesty.  Which home is this? A home for the elderly or a home for the mentally disadvantaged?” asked Blackadder impassively.

“Oh no!  This was Apseley House.  Do you know it?” bubbled the George, barely able to contain his excitement at this uncharacteristically successful night of seduction.

“Yes, sir, that would be the estate of the Duke of Wellington.  Those ladies would have been his nieces.  It may interest you to know that the Iron Duke has always let it be known that he will kill in cold blood anyone who takes sexual advantage of any of his relatives.  And he’s just recently returned to London from Spain, where he was commanding the war against the French. ”

Prince George paled.  The Duke of Wellington was known around town as “Throat-slasher Wellington,” the finest blade His Majesty commands.  As George was contemplating his misfortune, someone knocked loudly at the door.  

George shrieked with fear, “Aiiiiiii!  Edmund, help me!” 

Thinking quickly, Edmund came up with a cunning plan, the details of which we don’t have time to get into, as your narrator wants to go to lunch soon.  All you need to know for now is that Blackadder is pretending to be the Prince and the George is pretending to be the Prince’s butler.  Just as the Prince and Edmund had finished switching coats, the Duke of Wellington stormed into the room.  He looked at Blackadder, “Have I the honor of addressing the Prince Regent?  Congratulations, Highness, your bearing is far nobler than I'd been informed.” 

He turned to look at George, dressed as a butler, “Take my hat at once, sir, unless you want to feel my boot in your throat! And be quicker about it than you were with the door!!!!”

“Yes, My Lord,” stammered George. 

“I’M A DUKE, NOT A LORD!  WHERE WERE YOU TRAINED, A SPANISH TANGO ACADEMY?!” shouted Wellington as he roughly cuffed George in the ear.  “Shall I have my people thrash him for you, Highness?” he asked Blackadder.

“No, I’m trying this new 'spare the rod' policy.  Butler, fetch us some tea!”  George went scuttling downstairs to fetch some tea while Edmund and Wellington sat down to discuss the progress of the war.  Just as Edmund was providing some particularly prescient advice for defeating  the French and Spanish navies at Trafalgar, George returned with a tray.  He placed it on the table and sat down next to Edmund and the Duke, preparing to pour himself a cup. 

“HOW DARE YOU SIT IN THE PRESCENCE OF YOUR BETTERS?!” the Duke roared at George.  Enraged, he pulled a pistol from his pocket and shot George in the chest.  George coughed and fell to the floor.  However, after a few seconds, he opened his eyes again.  “What a bit of luck!  I just happened to have my silver cigarillo case in my breast pocket!  The bullet bounced right off!”

There is 1 clue in the above story.

Day has begun, the dead must rest again.  You have 48 hours before twilight. 

Still alive in Elizabethan times and eras beyond:

• egavasc
• CuriousParker
• Drogo
• SilverStormm
• HM
• Lisin
• TCS
• Oinky Boinky
• Dougal
• Jesse

Another new freckle on the nose of the giant pixie

SVN Bob You are Lord Flashheart, a Hero Jack of All Trades.  You are Flash by name, flash by nature! (“Hooray!”)  You are well known as the best sword, the best shot, the best sailor and the best kisser in the Kingdom.   Though nominally friends with your old pal “Eddie” Blackadder, you are not above stealing his bride at the altar. As a Jack of All Trades, you have the Nightime powers of Seer, Protector and Vigilante.  Each power may be used only ONCE and may not be used on the same Night. 

caprice You are Baldrick, a Hero Weak Seer.  You are a devoted dogsbody/companion to Edmund Blackadder in all his incarnations.  Unfortunately, you also have deplorable hygiene, an inability to grasp the simplest of concepts and an bizarre fondness for turnips.  You frequently proclaim to have a “cunning plan” to get your pal Blackadder out of a jam, proving that you don’t understand the meaning of the word “cunning”.  Or “plan” for that matter.  As a Weak Seer, you may investigate one player per Night.  However, because your cunning plans rarely ever benefit anyone involved, you will only return a result 1/3 of the time (based on a random role of the dice).

[Meredith Quill]

Whoever you are; GJ protector. I've read the story but nothing jumped out at me. I have a busy day ahead and a busy weekend looming, so I may not be around as much as usual fyi.

[Guest]

I will risk my life for my fellows, @Drogo is no good.

1 to DL Drogo (CP) 5 to clean up the church.

Edited August 26, 2016 by Guest
Made @Mention work

[egavasc]

Oh my sweet pet, I'm glad you made it through the night. Going to trust that you are right about this.

2 to DL Drogo (CP, egavasc), 4 to yell "Off with his head!"

[SVNBob]

On 8/24/2016 at 9:30 PM, caprice said:

*grabs case of wine* Piss off, you lot.

Bob, let's drink.

*ghosts in*

Baldrick, that's the most cunning plan I've ever heard.

[Oinky Boinky]

2 hours ago, egavasc said:

Just the way I was leaning this morning also...

3 to DL Drogo (CP, egavasc,Oinky B.), 3 to prove who is good at bad but not so good at the worst.

We love you when you are just naughty but not so much when you try to kill us.

[Drogo]

7 minutes ago, Oinky Boinky said:

We love you when you are just naughty but not so much when you try to kill us.

Stop projecting!  I didn't kill Baldrick, you guys did.  I just went along for the ride.     

[Meredith Quill]

Guys...I found something 100% definitive in the Day 0 story. 

The clue is for Dougal, starting with the D in Day 0 it's D-O-U-G-A-L at the start of the paragraphs, it spells his name out!

With Drogo not even trying to wiggle out of it, it made me wonder why he doesn't feel the need to do so, and the logical answer is that he is probably protected toDay, so I say let's take Dougal out toDay and if anyone has a vig kill, then shoot Drogo toNight? If not we DL can Drogo toMorrow when he will be vulnerable.

1 to DL Dougal (Silverstormm) 5 to see the writing on the wall.

[Lisin]

@SilverStormm is 100% right. No way that's a coincidence. 

2 to DL Dougal (Silverstormm, Lisin) 4 to see the writing on the wall.

[Drogo]

I'm not trying to wiggle out of anything because it's futile; precious Blackadder said I'm bad, and two people who I've never pointed a finger at jumped on board with him before I could say anything- so I must be bad.  There's nothing I'm going to say that's going to change anyone's mind.   

[Hanged Man]

Ok I don't understand why we are targeting Drogo without preamble discussion or proof.

However when your name is spelled out in a story... I gotta go with that. I mean that's not even an anagram.

2 to DL Drogo (CP, egavasc), 4 to yell "Off with his head!"

3 to DL Dougal (Silverstormm, Lisin, HM) 3 to see the writing on the wall.

[Lisin]

Paiging @egavasc and @CuriousParker because while I don't disagree with you necessarily we definitely have a solid clue for Dougal. 

[Drogo]

Yikes at the paranoia here.   And in the interest of honesty since I've been just shy of honest so far, I'm not protected Today.  I was protected the first Day.  I am always protected first as a Villain because there's always somebody looking to investigate or kill me. 

[Guest]

Alright.  I'll change my vote but if, for whatever reason, the kill does not go through you know who to look at next. (My dear Queen, come on over to Dougal.  Only if you want to of course; I do not want to upset my royal wife.)

1 to DL Drogo (egavasc), 5 to yell "Off with his head!"

4 to DL Dougal (Silverstormm, Lisin, HM, CP) 2 to see the writing on the wall.

[The Crazed Spruce]

Even a foppish dunderheaded ninny like me can see the writing on the wall.  When it's pointed out to me and carefully explained, anyway.

(By the by, the last story kinda spells it out for us, too....)

1 to DL Drogo (egavasc), 5 to do something clever

5 to DL Dougal (Silverstormm, Lisin, HM, CP, TCS) 1 to do something cleverer

[egavasc]

6 to DL Dougal, (Silverstormm, Lisin, HM, CP, TCS) 0 to off with his head!

I know I'm Red Queening it here but still.

[Meredith Quill]

Woot we got one!

I strongly suspect that I may be a goner toNight though :/ 

[halgia]

Well, that was an unpleasant surprise to check in on during a layover....

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Day is over.   The story will be up in a few hours. 

[Oinky Boinky]

Twilight? Just got in from golf. The clue against Dougal looks really solid. 

[Jesse]

Ugh, you guys, I'm sorry I can barely get here anymore. But good looking out, SS!!

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Night 3

We are still looking in on Edmund the butler and the hapless Prince George.  The Duke stomped out of the room, promising to return the following morning to kill "George" in a duel.  

Just George and Edmund were breathing a temporary sigh of relief, another visitor arrived.  It was Pitt the Younger, the boy Prime Minister.  We will learn more about Pitt later, but for now, the important thing to know is that he is on a crusade to strike George from the Civil List and cut off all his financial support.  

As Pitt was entering the building to give George a good verbal bollocking, he bumped into the Duke of Wellington striding purposefully as was his habit.  The Duke shoved him back roughly and snarled "Out of my way, you spotty little git!"  Pitt was offended (and a little frightened) by the Duke's lack of respect? However, he was also quite lucky, because just seconds later a large piece of the stone balcony came crashing down right where Pitt had been standing.   PItt and Wellington continued on their separate ways, each lost in his own thoughts.  

There are 0 clues in the above story.  

Night has begun.  The dead may speak.   You have 36 hours to get your Night actions in.  

Still alive in Elizabethan times and eras beyond:

• egavasc
• CuriousParker
• Drogo
• SilverStormm
• HM
• Lisin
• TCS
• Oinky Boinky
• Dougal
• Jesse

Another new freckle on the nose of the giant pixie

• SVNBob
• Caprice

[caprice]

Bar wench, more drinks for me and my friend @SVNBob. Also, a bunch of glasses of cheap vodka for us to throw in the faces of those who betrayed us.

[Hanged Man]

mumble...mumblethere doesnt seem to be as many dead villains as I expected there to bemumble mumble

I... need a drink?

[egavasc]

Guys, vanilla coke and rum for me. Although I may have already had too much this evening! But the more the merrier! Especially if I'm going to have vodka thrown in my face! 

[caprice]

Dark and Stormy for HM and @egavasc should try a vanilla vodka and coke. I find I prefer it to using Vanilla Coke. Also, she didn't vote against me.

[Drogo]

Silly gooses. Oo, Grey Goose for me please.

And some Vanilla Ice for caprice's vanilla vodka. 

[egavasc]

Vanilla vodka and coke would probably be delicious! Especially with rum. But then I might be more drunk! (I tend to be a heavy pourer). If I have actual coke I opt to put vanilla extract in (because I think vanilla extract is delish!). 

[Oinky Boinky]

You can't get vanilla coke here, you certainly can't get a sugar free version. Vanilla is always to hand. 

Bourbon please.

[Jesse]

Vanilla vodka and coke is delish, no matter how you get there.

[MarkHB]

I'm pretty sure that this bar stocks everything anyone requests :).

 

Even Moxie.

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Hello Team Blackadder. 

You guys have been great about getting your actions in.  However, your faithful mod is going to take a day off to hang out with her kid.  

The next story will go up Sunday, US time.  I'm shooting for morning, but if that changes, I'll let you know.  

Hope you're not too miffed.  Byyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee.....

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Day 3

We return now to the financial misadventures of Lord Blackadder.   Things were finally looking up a bit for our sarcastic hero.  After kicking Baldrick's corpse out of sight and strategically draping decorative tapestries over the exploded portions of his sitting room, interest from prospective buyers had been unexpectedly high.  After receiving offers from the Lord Ponsonby, Lord Raveneau and the Earl of Farrow, he was eventually able to beat Farrow up (metaphorically and literally) to 1100 pounds. Sure, he would soon be homeless, but at least his bottom would be safe from the Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells come tomorrow morning. 

Edmund and Percy were sitting in what remained of the sitting room when the Queen's messenger appeared again. "My Lord, the Queen dost demand your immediate presence on the pain of death."

"Ah, messenger, thank God you came.  Percy and I could not have waited another second without you."  Edmund sighed and began the long, frantic trip across town to the royal residence. 

As he walked in the throne room, he noticed a familiar looking servant setting down a tray with a decanter of wine for the Queen. As the servant departed, the Queen said, "Terrible news, Edmund! The French intend to invade.  So...I need some money."

"Yes, we need every nobleman to contribute 500 pounds toward the upkeep of the navies." added Melchett smugly.  

Noting Edmund's concerned face, Queenie said, "However, we've decided to make you a special case."

"Thank you, ma'am." said Edmund with relief.

"Melchy here hasn't got a bean and since you are so fabulously wealthy, we thought you could pay for both." [Narrator's note: Edmund has been hiding the dire state of his fortune from the Queen out of fear that it will cause him to lose influence at Court.]

Although Edmund made a valiant attempt to weasel out of the "voluntary donation", the Queen's meaningful glance at the list of impending executions was enough to get him to cough up the 1000 pounds.  As he departed the royal chamber, he again heard Queenie, Melchett and Nursie laughing uproariously at how "marvelously stupid Edmund was to fall for that trick a second time".  

Suddenly, Edmund realized where he had seen that servant before.  He looked remarkably like the woman who had stabbed Lord Flashheart!!  Edmund rushed back into the throne room and slapped the glass of wine out of Queenie's hand just as she was about to take a sip.  The glass shattered on the floor and the spilled liquid burned a hole in the ornate rug.  

"Madam, someone was trying to poison you!!" Edmund exclaimed!

There is 1 clue in the above story.

Day has begun, the dead must rest again.  You have 48 hours before twilight. 

Still alive in Elizabethan times and eras beyond:

• egavasc
• CuriousParker
• Drogo
• SilverStormm
• HM
• Lisin
• TCS
• Oinky Boinky
• Dougal
• Jesse

Another new freckle on the nose of the giant pixie

SVN Bob You are Lord Flashheart, a Hero Jack of All Trades.  You are Flash by name, flash by nature! (“Hooray!”)  You are well known as the best sword, the best shot, the best sailor and the best kisser in the Kingdom.   Though nominally friends with your old pal “Eddie” Blackadder, you are not above stealing his bride at the altar. As a Jack of All Trades, you have the Nightime powers of Seer, Protector and Vigilante.  Each power may be used only ONCE and may not be used on the same Night. 

caprice You are Baldrick, a Hero Weak Seer.  You are a devoted dogsbody/companion to Edmund Blackadder in all his incarnations.  Unfortunately, you also have deplorable hygiene, an inability to grasp the simplest of concepts and an bizarre fondness for turnips.  You frequently proclaim to have a “cunning plan” to get your pal Blackadder out of a jam, proving that you don’t understand the meaning of the word “cunning”.  Or “plan” for that matter.  As a Weak Seer, you may investigate one player per Night.  However, because your cunning plans rarely ever benefit anyone involved, you will only return a result 1/3 of the time (based on a random role of the dice).

[egavasc]

Woohoo! Another one thwarted! Way to go Protector. 

Votes for Dougal today? 

[Meredith Quill]

Woot, good job protector and yay to me still being here too.

I'll happily join either DL, lead the way your majesty!

[Drogo]

Why are we DL'ing Dougal without any discussion?  Maybe I want to vote for someone else?

Last I checked this was a Mafiaocracy, not a Mafiatatorship. 

[Hanged Man]

OK so we know who 2 villains are, one of them is certainly being protected. Who do we think it is?

[Jesse]

I feel like the trouble in past games has been debating between alternate-night protection and two-kills. So I'd go for Dougal again either way. 

Any thoughts about the clue?

[egavasc]

6 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Why are we DL'ing Dougal without any discussion?  Maybe I want to vote for someone else?

Last I checked this was a Mafiaocracy, not a Mafiatatorship. 

This is a Mafia Kingdom, and for now, I am its queen! 

[Meredith Quill]

When I was a bad guy and we were in this situation we def tried to divert to the protected player. Drogo said he was protected yesterDay which was probably a lie based on the fact Dougal survived the DL? But who knows for sure; I'm happy to go with whoever everyone thinks is the best choice.

Edit: Derp, he said he WASN'T protected yesterDay, my bad.

So question is, do we believe he was or not?

Edited August 28, 2016 by SilverStormm
Because it's good to make sense.

[halgia]

12 minutes ago, Jesse said:

So I'd go for Dougal again either way. 

My choice is easy then!

1 to DL Jesse (Dougal), 5 to do what you know is right

Royal pardon for anyone voting for the DL!*

 

*Offer void for certain heroes.

[Meredith Quill]

Side note for @egavasc and @CuriousParker

Queenie and Edmund are not in lurrrrve, Queenie is narcissistic and loves flattery and Edmund flatters her because he's scared she'll lop off his head if he doesn't.

Edmund loves only one ladeeeee...cough, cough. Ahem. <points to self>

[Drogo]

8 minutes ago, SilverStormm said:

Queenie and Edmund are not in lurrrrve, Queenie is narcissistic and loves flattery and Edmund flatters her because he's scared she'll lop off his head if he doesn't.

Edmund loves only one ladeeeee...cough, cough. Ahem. <points to self>

      Reeeeowrrrr!