Hanged Man June 17, 2016 Share June 17, 2016 7 hours ago, caprice said: And a dark and stormy for my dear friend, HM. Thanks! My favorite pitcher tried to get me a perfect game and then a no-hitter for my birthday but those last outs can be tricky. 3 Link to comment
formerlyfreedom June 17, 2016 Share June 17, 2016 4 minutes ago, Hanged Man said: Thanks! My favorite pitcher tried to get me a perfect game and then a no-hitter for my birthday but those last outs can be tricky. I was at happy hour tonight, when the perfect game got lost - one of my friends was quite irate about it. "the NINTH inning, and that happens!" Sorry about that, HM. And happy birthday! 1 Link to comment
Drogo June 17, 2016 Share June 17, 2016 Happy birthday, HM! It's hard to believe we're 21 already. 1 Link to comment
Hanged Man June 17, 2016 Share June 17, 2016 4 minutes ago, Drogo said: Happy birthday, HM! It's hard to believe we're 21 already. Sadly, 21 is now more than 21 years ago. 2 Link to comment
MarkHB June 20, 2016 Share June 20, 2016 Happy Father's Day to all the dads in here! 3 Link to comment
caprice June 20, 2016 Share June 20, 2016 Happy Fathers Day, @MarkHB and @Drogo. And to the guys who are fathers, though we might not know it. This is the only place I've acknowledged the day.... 4 Link to comment
Drogo June 20, 2016 Share June 20, 2016 Day 4 In Archer’s apartment “Woodhouse! This place is a mess! What did you do while I was gone? Woodhouse? Woodhouse!” Archer yelled, not knowing his man servant had been killed by an overdose. “Archer, I hate to break it to you but….” Pam started. She had, for some reason, accompanied him back to his apartment after failing to persuade him to go to ISIS HQ. “WOODHOUSE!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. “Archer! Woodhouse is dead!” Pam yelled, getting Archer’s attention. “He overdosed on heroin. I’m, I’m so sorry.” “He, he couldn’t have. He always took the same amount. The man was an addict but he was at least smart about it. How do you think he got to be so old!” “We think someone got to his stash. Ms. Archer didn’t want me to tell you until you were safe at home.” “Yes. Safe. Vere else vould Sterlink Archer be safe?” A new voice said. Pam and Archer turned to the open doorway (Archer expected Woodhouse to close it of course) to see a familiar face. “You! What are you doing here?” Archer said, startled and feeling a sudden stirring. “I came for you darlink.” Katya said, seductively. Pam butted in, “So what, you failed to kill him in Moscow so you followed us here to finish the job?” “Darlink, look into my eyes. Vhat do you zee?” Katya directed to Archer. “Mostly those insane boobs.” Archer was many things, but chivalrous wasn’t one of them. He tended to say whatever he was thinking. “No darlink, you see love. I haf been in love witf you since I first heard your name in KGB training.” “But you tried to kill him in Moscow?” “No, you tried kill me! I vas to trap Archer for Major Jakov. Not kill. But I vill kill you to get him if I haf to.” “You’ll have to go through me!” Pam yelled as she ran towards Katya. With a leap, she tackled the Russian spy before she had the chance to go for her gun. The pair wrestled, rolling around on the floor, with Katya struggling to get the upper hand. She underestimated how scrappy a fighter Pam was. “Ladies, ladies. I don’t even have mud for you. Or Jello. Would jello be better? No, no we need pudding. Chocolate pudding. Yes. Woodhouse? Oh shit, Woodhouse. That’s going to take some getting used to. Ladies! Don’t make me separate you, it’ll be so disappointing.” Archer said, his stream of consciousness failing to remain in his head. “ARCHER! I’M HERE TO SAVE YOU!” A very drunk Cyril yelled. Malory had him tracking Pam’s whereabouts so that she could know immediately when the pair made it back to NYC. She knew all too well that her son would go home rather than face her and sent Cyril to drag him into ISIS HQ. Cyril got appropriately drunk, figuring that he couldn’t persuade Archer of anything, let alone to deal with his mother, and got plastered instead. When he finally headed to the apartment, he heard the scuffle and drew his weapon. “Cyril, Cyril, it’s fine. Put that pea shooter away. I’ve got this. Come help me find some pudding.” Archer said derisively. “But, but, but, isn’t this a KGB spy?” “Yes, Cyril, a hot KGB spy. Who claims to be in love with me. So put the gun away and come help me.” As Cyril went to put his gun down, his fingers slipped and pulled the trigger. The shot echoed in the apartment, followed by a scream of pain. The bullet, by some quirk of fate, managed to hit Katya in the neck and she quickly bled out on the floor. “Well, at least she’s already on the rug.” Archer said, wishing his manservant was still alive. Woodhouse always got rid of the bodies. Living In The Danger Zone: Lisin CP caprice BizBuzz Deadpool The Crazed Spruce aquarian1 MMCS Machiabelly The Hanged Man Ser Jorah Mormont No Longer Rampaging: Oinky Boinky - Woodhouse / Team ISIS - You are Woodhouse, manservant to Sterling Archer. Despite your own storied military career, you’ve been in service to the Archers since Malory Archer gave birth in your Tangiers bar. You are one of the few consistent things in Archer’s life, having raised him since he was a baby and always being there while his mother was off on spy missions. The heroin helps you overlook the fact that he treats you as subhuman. Good thing you know how to cover your tracks when you need to: knock him out, splash scotch and women’s underwear about, and tell him he slipped chasing an Asian prostitute. He’ll never be the wiser. You have no additional powers in this game. Dougal - Barry Dylan / Team ODIN - You are Barry Dylan, ODIN agent and biggest rival to one Sterling Malory Archer. Beyond the mere fact of working at rival spy organizations, Archer has been the cause of much physical and emotional distress. First he dropped you from a balcony for ruining his suit. You fell on a car and broke your leg, needing steel rods and screws. Then he slept with your fiancée (the Pele of anal!). You will have your revenge on Archer if it’s the last thing you do! You are a Villain Investigator. Silverstormm - Ron Cadillac / Team ISIS - You are Ron Cadillac, husband to Malory Archer and the largest Cadillac dealer in the tri-state area. In your earlier days you were a car thief, but you have long since gone straight. You used your ill-gotten gains to start your car dealership and share your profits with the families of your former crew. You are a nice gentleman, although sometimes a little uncouth; you carry around saltines in your tux at the opera in case you might get hungry. This drives your wife crazy, but you’re the one who won her over and you’re the one who gets to keep her. You are a Mason with your wife, Malory Archer. Jesse - Len Trexler / Team ODIN - You are Len Trexler, head of ODIN and possible father to Sterling Archer. You run the rival spy agency to former lover Malory Archer’s ISIS. ODIN is wealthier, more technologically advanced, and frequently undercuts ISIS for lucrative government contracts. Despite your perceived clear superiority, you still aim to destroy ISIS at every opportunity. Malory Archer won’t marry you, so she must be destroyed. You are a Villain Protector. saoirse - Katya Kasanova / Team KGB - You are Katya Kasanova, KGB agent. Acting as a double agent trying to destroy ISIS from within, you fell in love with Archer and died to save his life. Fortunately Dr. Krieger is a mad scientist and brought you back to life as a cyborg. Outside of your removable, vibrating vagina and glowing red eyes, everything is basically normal. You use Archer’s love for you to manipulate him for your own diabolical purposes. You are a Villain Investigator. Important stuff: There is 1 clue in the Day 4 story. 6 votes are needed for a DL. There will be 36 hours for Day. Morning (12 hours of discussion without voting) will end around midnight Eastern then there can be up to 24 hours of discussion with voting. Day will end when a majority vote has been reached or the time limit is up. 3 Link to comment
caprice June 20, 2016 Share June 20, 2016 (edited) Whoot!! We're doing really well this time around!! I'm going back to re-read the stories to see what all I can find. Let's get this discussion started! :D Oh, and excellent job, Cyril! Edited June 20, 2016 by caprice added a compliment Link to comment
Guest June 20, 2016 Share June 20, 2016 I've asked the GMs to put in my vote for @BizBuzz once the 12 hours is up and we can vote. I will be asleep. Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 The only possible clue I've found in the Day 4 story so far is Chocolate pudding = Curious Parker. Anyway, I feel pretty good about the Parker Lewis Can't Lose clue from before. When the voting opens, I will likely cast my vote for the great lady of House Rooster. 1 Link to comment
Guest June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 1 minute ago, MuuMuuChainsmoker said: great lady of House Rooster At least I'll die with a smile on my face now. MuuMuu seems to be leading the charge and I'm not going to be able to say anything to change minds. I'll still cast my vote for Biz. Link to comment
Deadpool June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 8 minutes ago, MuuMuuChainsmoker said: The only possible clue I've found in the Day 4 story so far is Chocolate pudding = Curious Parker. Anyway, I feel pretty good about the Parker Lewis Can't Lose clue from before. When the voting opens, I will likely cast my vote for the great lady of House Rooster. I could get with that clue, i think we should still go with the DL on @BizBuzz toNight tho then CP the following night unless we can find a better clue in the mean time? Link to comment
caprice June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 32 minutes ago, MuuMuuChainsmoker said: The only possible clue I've found in the Day 4 story so far is Chocolate pudding = Curious Parker. Anyway, I feel pretty good about the Parker Lewis Can't Lose clue from before. When the voting opens, I will likely cast my vote for the great lady of House Rooster. I'd lean more strongly toward Parker Lewis than chocolate pudding, although, pudding.... That said, I can also state with absolute certainty that Biz is bad to the bone. 1 Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 1 minute ago, Deadpool said: I could get with that clue, i think we should still go with the DL on @BizBuzz toNight tho then CP the following night unless we can find a better clue in the mean time? Ok, so the potential clues for Biz and CP: Biz caprice notes: "I've also noticed a lot of double-z words, which is something I used toward her in my Mad Men round." Day 1 -- Multiple references to honeypot Day 1 -- "The money had been embezzled from his accounts." Double zz word Night 1 -- Boris has a buzzcut Double zz word Night 2 -- "Soon, soon he would be able to solve this puzzle." Double zz word Day 3 -- "Like a boy scout, an ODIN man was always prepared." The newsletter for the Boy Scouts of America is The Buzz. http://www.scouting.org/InternalCommunications/The Buzz.aspx CP Night 2 -- "Most Valuable Tight End by the Santo Domingo High football team". The series Parker Lewis Can't Lose is set at Santo Domingo High School. Night 3 -- "Chocolate Pudding" = CP = Curious Parker? I admit that chocolate pudding is a bit of a stretch, but I feel like the Parker Lewis clue is pretty strong. In any event, I am happy to trust @caprice's statement that our Biz is bad again. (Why does such a nice person keep getting assigned to be a villain?!) Either vote is good for me. Link to comment
caprice June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 @MuuMuuChainsmoker, I think we're good with the Boy Scout newsletter and your picking up on Santo Domingo HS. Anyone else? Yeah, I know we've got some time ahead of us, but I'll be sleeping when "morning" is considered over. Link to comment
Drogo June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 1 to DL BizBuzz (CuriousParker), 5 to something something (Per CP's earlier request.) 1 Link to comment
Hanged Man June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 the word chivalrous popped out at me, has anyone investigated Sir Jorah Mormont and cleared him yet? also I am going to be busy all day tomorrow so i will not be able to contribute more 2 to DL BizBuzz (CuriousParker, HM), 4 to crash the blimp...but only 1 if we use the metric system Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 What the hell, I'll join in this one. 3 to DL BizBuzz (CuriousParker, HM, MMCS), 3 to crash the blimp...but only 1 if we use the metric system. Link to comment
Deadpool June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 4 to DL BizBuzz (CuriousParker, HM, MMCS, Deadpool), 2 to crash the blimp...but only 1 if we use the metric system. Link to comment
The Crazed Spruce June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 5 to DL BizBuzz (CuriousParker, HM, MMCS, Deadpool, TCS), 1 to get out the pesticide Link to comment
Lisin June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 6 to DL BizBuzz (CuriousParker, HM, MMCS, Deadpool, TCS, Lisin), 0 to shoot first and ask questions later Link to comment
caprice June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 7 to DL BizBuzz (CP, HM, MMCS, Deadpool, TCS, Lisin, caprice) -1 to... dammit!! 1 Link to comment
egavasc June 21, 2016 Author Share June 21, 2016 And that's it! Welcome to Twilight. 1 Link to comment
caprice June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 Lisin CP caprice BizBuzz? Deadpool The Crazed Spruce aquarian1 MMCS Machiabelly Hanged Man Ser Jorah Mormont These are the living players right now (I'm waiting for the Night story to see what happens with Biz). We've got one or two more chances to find our baddies and people have been looking at both Curious Parker and Ser Jorah as suspects. Since we still have our investigator, maybe we can use twilight to talk about what direction the investigation should take tonight. Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker June 21, 2016 Share June 21, 2016 Personally, I would like someone to investigate our beguiling friend @aquarian1. Unrelated to the game, has anyone heard anything from @Machiabelly? He hasn't posted since the 11th when he said he was being admitted to the hospital. Link to comment
FormerMod-a1 June 22, 2016 Share June 22, 2016 Go ahead and investigate. I am a hero, and one you should be grateful for. Ahem. Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker June 22, 2016 Share June 22, 2016 4 minutes ago, aquarian1 said: Go ahead and investigate. I am a hero, and one you should be grateful for. Ahem. Hey, I'm always grateful for you, you saucy minx. :P Link to comment
caprice June 22, 2016 Share June 22, 2016 1 hour ago, MuuMuuChainsmoker said: Unrelated to the game, has anyone heard anything from @Machiabelly? He hasn't posted since the 11th when he said he was being admitted to the hospital. You know, I meant to add that to my earlier post. Hope you're doing well, @Machiabelly! 3 Link to comment
Lisin June 22, 2016 Share June 22, 2016 Sorry guys! I've been crazy busy but also don't have much to add here. I didn't notice anything in the story and I'm kinda useless for the moment. Link to comment
FormerMod-a1 June 22, 2016 Share June 22, 2016 Me, too. Sending {{{Good Vibes}}} to Machiabelly. 1 Link to comment
Drogo June 22, 2016 Share June 22, 2016 Night 4 A Day in the Life of Boris Denisovitch Boris woke up, climbed out of bed, and began his morning calisthenics. The KGB safe house in New York was sparsely furnished and had just enough room for him to do some lunges. He finished his workout and went to grab his meager toiletry stash from his travel bag. Out fell Katya’s pink teddy. As he held it up and smelled it, her lingering scent beginning to fade, he dreamt of her and the fantastic places she got to go instead of him. There were deep injustices within their organization. Surely Katya never had to stay in places like this when she went on missions. She only slept on the finest of sheets and down pillows. He could only hope that one day they would go on missions together and he could spend his nights with the woman of his dreams in a place that befit her. It would only be a dream. Nice things never came to Boris. He didn’t even have a proper last name, no one deemed him important enough to deserve one. On his loneliest nights, he imagined that he really was Boris Jakov, son of KGB leader Nikolai Jakov. Then he would truly belong, with a father instead of a father figure. Then he might be respected and appreciated. Instead, he was sent to follow behind Katya once again, like a dog following his master. After a modest breakfast, prepared on a poorly wired hotplate that kept flickering off, Boris was ready to trail Katya. He knew she had followed Sterling Archer to his apartment in the city, after that he lost track of her. He would stake out ISIS headquarters today and then follow Archer. The idiot would surely lead him straight to Katya. Every spy organization in the world knew that Sterling Archer would sleep with any relatively attractive woman who moved (and even some who didn’t). Katya was one of the most beautiful women in the world. Archer would be on her like white on rice. All Boris would have to do was wait. And wait he did. All day. All day he waited on the roof of the building across from ISIS headquarters, melting in the hot sun. This was the glorious life of a KGB spy. Waiting. Watching. Hoping for something to happen, when most of the time nothing would happen. Then waiting some more. All day with the waiting. Then his pocket buzzed. Assuming it would be Jakov, checking in for an update on the Katya situation, Boris answered quickly. It was not Jakov, but instead ISIS agent Lana Kane who told him to be at the ISIS headquarters in twenty minutes or he would never see Katya again. They were holding her hostage and would release her in exchange for him. He knew he couldn’t go. Katya would never reveal anything against the KGB and Jakov would assemble a team to retrieve her. Instead Boris spent the remaining daylight hours examining the building for weak points and hidden entrances. Every little bit of information would help free his beloved. When night fell, he began to gather his supplies to leave. The deafening “woop woop woop” of helicopter blades distracted him and he glanced over the edge to see the ISIS helicopter rising from below. Lana Kane stood in the doorway yelling to him, “Surrender now Boris! Surrender and we’ll take it easy on you.” Boris would never surrender. He could never save Katya that way. As if she read his mind, Lana continued, “Katya is dead. She was shot last night. Surrender Boris. Surrender now.” Her gun drawn on him, Boris knew this was the end. There was no way off the roof; ISIS agents would be posted at every exit. There was only one way to remain free. Boris looked up at Lana, thought of his beloved Russia and stepped off the roof. Death was the only way to escape. Living In The Danger Zone: Lisin CP caprice Deadpool The Crazed Spruce aquarian1 MMCS Machiabelly The Hanged Man Ser Jorah Mormont No Longer Rampaging: Oinky Boinky - Woodhouse / Team ISIS - You are Woodhouse, manservant to Sterling Archer. Despite your own storied military career, you’ve been in service to the Archers since Malory Archer gave birth in your Tangiers bar. You are one of the few consistent things in Archer’s life, having raised him since he was a baby and always being there while his mother was off on spy missions. The heroin helps you overlook the fact that he treats you as subhuman. Good thing you know how to cover your tracks when you need to: knock him out, splash scotch and women’s underwear about, and tell him he slipped chasing an Asian prostitute. He’ll never be the wiser. You have no additional powers in this game. Dougal - Barry Dylan / Team ODIN - You are Barry Dylan, ODIN agent and biggest rival to one Sterling Malory Archer. Beyond the mere fact of working at rival spy organizations, Archer has been the cause of much physical and emotional distress. First he dropped you from a balcony for ruining his suit. You fell on a car and broke your leg, needing steel rods and screws. Then he slept with your fiancée (the Pele of anal!). You will have your revenge on Archer if it’s the last thing you do! You are a Villain Investigator. Silverstormm - Ron Cadillac / Team ISIS - You are Ron Cadillac, husband to Malory Archer and the largest Cadillac dealer in the tri-state area. In your earlier days you were a car thief, but you have long since gone straight. You used your ill-gotten gains to start your car dealership and share your profits with the families of your former crew. You are a nice gentleman, although sometimes a little uncouth; you carry around saltines in your tux at the opera in case you might get hungry. This drives your wife crazy, but you’re the one who won her over and you’re the one who gets to keep her. You are a Mason with your wife, Malory Archer. Jesse - Len Trexler / Team ODIN - You are Len Trexler, head of ODIN and possible father to Sterling Archer. You run the rival spy agency to former lover Malory Archer’s ISIS. ODIN is wealthier, more technologically advanced, and frequently undercuts ISIS for lucrative government contracts. Despite your perceived clear superiority, you still aim to destroy ISIS at every opportunity. Malory Archer won’t marry you, so she must be destroyed. You are a Villain Protector. saoirse - Katya Kasanova / Team KGB - You are Katya Kasanova, KGB agent. Acting as a double agent trying to destroy ISIS from within, you fell in love with Archer and died to save his life. Fortunately Dr. Krieger is a mad scientist and brought you back to life as a cyborg. Outside of your removable, vibrating vagina and glowing red eyes, everything is basically normal. You use Archer’s love for you to manipulate him for your own diabolical purposes. You are a Villain Investigator. BizBuzz - Boris / Team KGB - You are Boris, a Junior Lieutenant KGB officer and personal assistant to Major Nikolai Jakov. Desperate for any attention, you would do anything for your boss. And I do mean anything. Jealous of Sterling Archer and the chance that Major Jakov may be his father, you sabotage his paternity test. Maybe one day you’ll be good enough for him. One day. You are a Villain Goon. Important stuff: Twilight has ended; no gametalk until the next Day story is posted. There are 0 clues in the Night 4 story. Those with Night actions have 24 hours to submit them. Bar's open! 2 Link to comment
Meredith Quill June 22, 2016 Share June 22, 2016 @BizBuzz I knew you werez da bad girl Wait, you died the same week as Ramsay Bolton.... #tinfoil Biz = Ramsay - CONFIRMED! :O 1 Link to comment
Hanged Man June 24, 2016 Share June 24, 2016 How come on of those olives is floating? Is it a code? Link to comment
FormerMod-a1 June 24, 2016 Share June 24, 2016 It means you haven't been drinking enough since you were able to see the one that is not like the others. 1 Link to comment
Jesse June 24, 2016 Share June 24, 2016 The whole thing is a code -- I used to be a spy, you know. 1 Link to comment
caprice June 26, 2016 Share June 26, 2016 Happy birthday, TJ. In your honor (and because it cracks me up), I'm watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Link to comment
formerlyfreedom June 27, 2016 Share June 27, 2016 Happy belated birthday, @TJtrack99! Link to comment
Drogo June 27, 2016 Share June 27, 2016 Day 5 A revenge plan Barry’s body had been rebuilt. He was stronger, faster, better, and harder to kill. Sure, most of his organs had to be replaced and he was mostly machine. A cyborg. Cyborg Barry. But that was ideal. Now he was invincible. Any injury could be easily repaired with some simple tools. It wouldn’t matter if Archer threw him off a roof, for the third time. Now it was time. Time to kill Sterling Archer. Other Barry was in control now, Other Barry would always be in control. His first step, of course, would not be to kill Archer. No, that would be far too easy and provide far too little suffering to the man who had made his life (and death) a living hell. First there would be some torture. Maybe he’d screw around with Lana. Literally and figuratively. Despite Archer’s playboy ways, Lana was his love. Torturing her would most assuredly be agonizing for him. And he knew just how to entice her. “Lana!” He said cheerfully, glad she answered her phone. “Have I got an offer for you. You sitting down? You’re going to want to be sitting down for this.” “Barry, what on earth are you talking about?” “You may have heard, we have some well, vacancies at ODIN. With the mysterious death of Len Trexler, I’ve been made head of ODIN and I need someone to be my right hand man. I’d like that right hand man to be an incredibly talented, impressively sexy, and impossibly dangerous woman. I’d like that right hand man to be you.” “What makes you think I’d leave ISIS? Especially to work at ODIN, for you?” “C’mon Lana, you know Malory’s never going to give up control of ISIS. You’ll have to wrest her job from her cold dead hands and even then she’ll probably ensure that Archer takes over. Do you really want to work for him? And I can offer you a large corner office and a personal townhouse with views of the Eiffel Tower. With servants you’ll never ever see.” “That does sound promising. What’s the catch Barry? There’s always a catch with you.” “Oh no catch Lana. No catch at all.” He said with a chuckle. “We’ve got an office in New York, can you be there at one for an interview? It’s just a formality. Plus we can get the paperwork out of the way and get you on the first flight to Paris. First Class.” “See you at one then Barry.” Lana said warily. She didn’t want to get too excited, but leaving ISIS would probably be the best thing that ever happened. Once they were off the phone, Other Barry started talking to himself. “That’s right Other Barry. We’ve got her right where we want her. Just what we wanted Other Barry. Just exactly where we want her.” In ODIN’s New York Office Lana cautiously entered ODIN’s office. She knew better than to trust Barry and this offer seemed too good to be true. But ODIN was down some people and it wasn’t precisely ISIS’s fault. So maybe? She knocked on the main office door. Someone had taped “Barry Dylan” over Len Trexler’s name on the window. Hopefully they’d be quicker updating her offices. She could just see it now, “Office of Lana Kane, Lead Agent.” “Ah, you’re here. Come on in! Have a seat” Said Other Barry, comfortably sitting behind a large wooden desk. “Hey Barry,” she said, sitting down uneasily. She wanted to trust that this would work out. “So, tell me about these servants. I know you said that I wouldn’t ever see the servants in my townhouse. But suppose I did see them, would they, you know, bow?” “If you wanted them to, sure. But there won’t be any servants. Or any townhouse. Surely you had to know that.” “Barry, why did you bring me here?” Lana asked anxiously. She reflexively felt for her gun, usually under her arm, but that was too conspicuous. She had instead strapped it to her thigh, just barely visible under her sweater dress. “Oh, Barry’s not in control any more. He died in Russia after Archer pushed him off a roof. You’re talking to Other Barry, Other Barry is in control now.” Lana stood up, pulled her gun out, and backed slowly towards the door. “I’m leaving now Barry. You’re going to let me walk out this door and we’ll never talk about this again. Try anything, and I mean anything, and a bullet is going in your chest so fast you won’t even be able to blink.” In a flash, Other Barry was out of his chair and at the door, locking it before she could even register that he was no longer seated. “Go for it, but here I'll stand. You see, bullets won’t be a problem for me anymore. They fixed me up after Russia,” he said, ripping his chest open to reveal the metal works keeping him operating. “Barry, please, just let me go.” Lana said, unable to keep the fear from creeping into her voice. It was dawning on her that she might never leave this building. “What did I say Lana?” He said menacingly. “Barry is gone. It’s just Other Barry now.” He grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up into the air. Her cries for help became muffled as he squeezed tighter and tighter. Soon, she went limp. Other Barry placed her down, calmly unlocked the door and popped his head out. “Hey! Anyone have a rug?” Living In The Danger Zone: Lisin CuriousParker Deadpool The Crazed Spruce aquarian1 MMCS Machiabelly The Hanged Man Ser Jorah Mormont No Longer Rampaging: Oinky Boinky - Woodhouse / Team ISIS - You are Woodhouse, manservant to Sterling Archer. Despite your own storied military career, you’ve been in service to the Archers since Malory Archer gave birth in your Tangiers bar. You are one of the few consistent things in Archer’s life, having raised him since he was a baby and always being there while his mother was off on spy missions. The heroin helps you overlook the fact that he treats you as subhuman. Good thing you know how to cover your tracks when you need to: knock him out, splash scotch and women’s underwear about, and tell him he slipped chasing an Asian prostitute. He’ll never be the wiser. You have no additional powers in this game. Dougal - Barry Dylan / Team ODIN - You are Barry Dylan, ODIN agent and biggest rival to one Sterling Malory Archer. Beyond the mere fact of working at rival spy organizations, Archer has been the cause of much physical and emotional distress. First he dropped you from a balcony for ruining his suit. You fell on a car and broke your leg, needing steel rods and screws. Then he slept with your fiancée (the Pele of anal!). You will have your revenge on Archer if it’s the last thing you do! You are a Villain Investigator. Silverstormm - Ron Cadillac / Team ISIS - You are Ron Cadillac, husband to Malory Archer and the largest Cadillac dealer in the tri-state area. In your earlier days you were a car thief, but you have long since gone straight. You used your ill-gotten gains to start your car dealership and share your profits with the families of your former crew. You are a nice gentleman, although sometimes a little uncouth; you carry around saltines in your tux at the opera in case you might get hungry. This drives your wife crazy, but you’re the one who won her over and you’re the one who gets to keep her. You are a Mason with your wife, Malory Archer. Jesse - Len Trexler / Team ODIN - You are Len Trexler, head of ODIN and possible father to Sterling Archer. You run the rival spy agency to former lover Malory Archer’s ISIS. ODIN is wealthier, more technologically advanced, and frequently undercuts ISIS for lucrative government contracts. Despite your perceived clear superiority, you still aim to destroy ISIS at every opportunity. Malory Archer won’t marry you, so she must be destroyed. You are a Villain Protector. saoirse - Katya Kasanova / Team KGB - You are Katya Kasanova, KGB agent. Acting as a double agent trying to destroy ISIS from within, you fell in love with Archer and died to save his life. Fortunately Dr. Krieger is a mad scientist and brought you back to life as a cyborg. Outside of your removable, vibrating vagina and glowing red eyes, everything is basically normal. You use Archer’s love for you to manipulate him for your own diabolical purposes. You are a Villain Investigator. BizBuzz - Boris / Team KGB - You are Boris, a Junior Lieutenant KGB officer and personal assistant to Major Nikolai Jakov. Desperate for any attention, you would do anything for your boss. And I do mean anything. Jealous of Sterling Archer and the chance that Major Jakov may be his father, you sabotage his paternity test. Maybe one day you’ll be good enough for him. One day. You are a Villain Goon. caprice - Lana Kane / Team ISIS - You are Lana Kane, number two agent at ISIS because, well, nepotism. You were discovered by Malory Archer at an animal rights protest where you fearlessly stood down her gun. Strong, beautiful, and determined, the only thing you aren’t good at is dating. You can even write in cursive with one magazine of a Tec-9. But hold down a relationship? No way. Your trust issues aren’t exactly your fault though, given your time with Womanizer Archer and sex-addict Cyril. Good thing you can (and have) kick both their asses. You are a Hero Investigator. Important stuff: There is 1 clue in the Day 5 story. 5 votes are needed for a DL. There will be 36 hours for Day. Morning (12 hours of discussion without voting) will end around 3am Eastern then there can be up to 24 hours of discussion with voting. Day will end when a majority vote has been reached or the time limit is up. 1 Link to comment
Lisin June 27, 2016 Share June 27, 2016 Goddamnit! These bullshitty cyborgs are the absolute worst! I will avenge you Lana!!!!! Ok, so it looks like we're dealing with two villain factions right? ODIN and KGB not that I think that's hugely important, I just wanted to say something to sound smart. Does anyone see any clues? Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker June 27, 2016 Share June 27, 2016 LAAAAAAAANAAAAAAAA! I was thinking about the 2 villain teams and I think we can assume that the teams are now: Team KGB: Major Jakov (Villain Protector) Team Odin: Other Barry (Villain Goon) There could potentially be 1 more villain on each team, but that seems like an overcrowded orgy of villains. Assuming that CP is one villain, we've got one more to find. Anyone have any thoughts? Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker June 28, 2016 Share June 28, 2016 Also, I'm wondering if now might be a good time to start claiming roles to help narrow down the possibilities for the last remaining villain(s). Link to comment
egavasc June 28, 2016 Author Share June 28, 2016 11 hours ago, MuuMuuChainsmoker said: Also, I'm wondering if now might be a good time to start claiming roles to help narrow down the possibilities for the last remaining villain(s). Mod Note There is no open claiming of roles in this game. 1 Link to comment
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