Machiabelly July 10, 2016 Share July 10, 2016 Hi folks. I am still in hospital. I had an emergency surgery and had a bunch of my bowel removed. The surgery was kind of touch and go, but I am doing Okay on that front. Having been bed ridden for a while before the surgery and on liquid diet AND having Muscular Dystrophy to start with, my muscles are vrey weak. I have not stood yet, but hopefully soon. My goal is to walk out of here...but realistically 6 more weeks. 5 Link to comment
Drogo July 10, 2016 Share July 10, 2016 Mach, we're all here for you. Stay badass, my friend. 1 Link to comment
JonSnow July 10, 2016 Share July 10, 2016 Sorry to here that Machia hope you get well soon. 1 Link to comment
Jesse July 10, 2016 Share July 10, 2016 Oh man, @Machiabelly. I hope you keep feeling better. 1 Link to comment
Meredith Quill July 10, 2016 Share July 10, 2016 Sending best wishes for a speedy recovery to you @Machiabelly, keep us posted and we're here whenever you feel like wasting some time! 1 Link to comment
The Crazed Spruce July 10, 2016 Share July 10, 2016 We're here for you, @Machiabelly. Rest up and heal. See you when you're back on your feet. ;) 1 Link to comment
egavasc July 10, 2016 Author Share July 10, 2016 Glad to hear you're on the mend! Hope your recovery is smooth sailing and can't wait to have you back! 1 Link to comment
MarkHB July 10, 2016 Share July 10, 2016 8 hours ago, Machiabelly said: Hi folks. I am still in hospital. I had an emergency surgery and had a bunch of my bowel removed. The surgery was kind of touch and go, but I am doing Okay on that front. Having been bed ridden for a while before the surgery and on liquid diet AND having Muscular Dystrophy to start with, my muscles are vrey weak. I have not stood yet, but hopefully soon. My goal is to walk out of here...but realistically 6 more weeks. Take care of yourself, friend. Best wishes for a solid recovery. 1 Link to comment
Hanged Man July 11, 2016 Share July 11, 2016 Happy birthday @caprice!!!!!! and also get well @Machiabelly Mafia isn't the same without you. 1 Link to comment
caprice July 11, 2016 Share July 11, 2016 Thank you, HM, Drogo. You guys are great. :) 1 Link to comment
Lisin July 11, 2016 Share July 11, 2016 Happy Birthday @caprice! Get well soon @Machiabelly! Hi everyone else! Link to comment
formerlyfreedom July 11, 2016 Share July 11, 2016 @Machiabelly, get well soon! Sounds similar to what a friend's husband had to deal with, so I'm glad you're on the mend, and look forward to seeing you back here! 1 Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Glad to hear you are recovering @Machiabelly. Come back soon! 1 Link to comment
BizBuzz July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Thanks for checking in @Machiabelly ... get better soon! 1 Link to comment
Drogo July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Night 6 The ISIS staff had figured it out. There had been two forces at work, trying to destroy them. With what remained of Barry trapped in space, ODIN had been taken out completely and were no longer a threat. Only Nikolai Jakov remained of the KGB. Once that eggplant had been thrown, Malory knew her former love could not be trusted. It was time to capture him, maybe ending the Cold War once and for all. And boy oh boy did they have a plan, so they put their clothes on and headed for headquarters. Malory had enticed Jakov to come to the office, using methods no one else wanted to think about but we'll show you them anyway if you want to see them: Spoiler She knew he wouldn’t come alone and would likely send in some KGB thugs to immobilize Ray, Archer, and Pam. Dr. Krieger had a plan to get around that. Then it would just be Nikolai. They could easily subdue the aging general and then it would be over. What remained of the ISIS agency could move forward and continue to protect the world. Pam waited in the elevator for the KGB thugs, prepared with the weapon provided by Dr. Krieger. Three large, burly men entered the elevator. “Phew! I don’t know what all you guys just ate but man. Your breath stinks worse than if you ate the ass end out of a northbound cow. Here, take a breath strip before you kill someone. You, you take two.” Pam encouraged the three men to take some of Krieger’s Magic Breath Strips, mint breath strips laced with LSD. By the time they made it up to the office, the goons were flying high as kites. They followed the dancing Pam throughout the office, entranced by her movements. She passed Cheryl and handed off the breath strips (it was best for everyone if Cheryl spent most of her time, as she put it, “High as balls”). Pam’s dancing path took the thugs directly to Ray, who bonked them on the head to knock them out, then carried them to Dr. Krieger’s lab. “Ugh, these guys are so heavy!” “Use your legs, not your back Ray. You know, your bionic legs.” Archer said in a sarcastic tone. “Not helping!” Replied Ray, lugging the last of the goons in a fireman’s hold. He didn’t realize that he hadn’t fully knocked the guy out. The KGB agent reached into his pocket for something, then brought his arm down to the base of Ray’s spine. “Goddamnit!” Ray yelled as he crumpled. The KGB thug tasered him in the spine. What would have been bad enough for most people was truly terrible for Ray; the taser knocked out the power supply to his legs. “Are you kidding me Ray? Are you kidding me right now?” “Archer shut up and get me off this floor. It’s disgusting. Get me and this asshole to Dr. Krieger so I can get my legs back!” Malory sat in her office, listening to the noises in the main room. Since the shuffling had stopped, she knew it was time. Time to call Nikolai. Time to end this once and for all. “Nikolai. It’s over. You know it, I know it. Come into the office and we’ll make this very painless. Your agency is in shreds, you have no more safe houses. If you flee, we will find you. But if you come in now, I promise to visit you.” “Conjugal?” “Perhaps.” Nikolai Jakov rode the elevator peacefully, knowing it would be his last calm moment. Once those doors opened it was all over. He was not without surprises though. The doors opened. He stepped through. Malory had her gun trained on him, eyes strong and determined. He thought she never looked so foxy. God, he would miss her. “I vould not do that,” the Major said, pulling his hands away from his chest to reveal the bomb strapped to his chest. “Vhen you keel me, da bomb go off and explode whole office. Boom.” Malory took a step back, thrown for a bit of a loop even though she couldn’t show it. Lana was an expert at bomb defusal; her death had been a great loss to the agency. Archer never had the patience for it. Maybe if she aimed for just the right spot. “RAAAMMMMPPPAAAAGGGEEEE!!!!!!” Archer yelled as he reentered the main office firing seemingly at random. One bullet hit Brett, who was foolishly still at his desk. Archer would say at his memorial that it was his own damn fault for working through a shootout. One bullet went straight through Jakov’s forehead. A third went through the mechanics of the bomb, instantly removing any threat of explosion. Sure, two more went through the walls, but who’s counting? “See Mother? I know what I’m doing. Everything is going to be just fine.” *************************AND THAT'S GAME!******************************HEROES WIN!!!************************** (Forever) Living In The Danger Zone: Lisin - Sterling Archer / Team ISIS - You are Sterling Malory Archer, world’s deadliest secret agent. Lead agent at ISIS, code name “Duchess,” you struggle with keeping the secret in secret agent. Fortunately your world reputation has you much feared, you actually are a good spy even if you’re usually at least six drinks in. Talents include obscure pop culture and trivia knowledge, ability to seduce nearly any woman, ability to quickly determine how many rounds remain in any form of firearm, and being devastatingly handsome. We just won’t talk about those “Mommy” issues. You deal with her enough at work. Bad enough she issued her dog’s name for your code name. Mothers, am I right? Deadpool - Cheryl Tunt / Team ISIS - You are Cheryl Tunt, or at least that’s what you’re going by this week. You are an eccentric heiress with a penchant for sniffing glue. As Ms. Archer’s secretary, you spend a lot of your time trying not to anger your boss and working on your macrame (no sharp objects allowed in the ward). Even though you could afford to never work again, you stick around ISIS because the violence turns you on. Maybe one day, they’ll choke you out again. Just like the gypsy woman said! You have no additional powers in the game. The Crazed Spruce - Ray Gillette / Team ISIS - You are Ray Gillette, ISIS field agent. A cyborg, your bionic legs got you back in the field after you were shot in the stomach and paralyzed. You are much belittled by your coworkers, probably because you’re the closest thing to a good person at the agency outside of gal pal Lana. Of course this is ISIS, so good is relative; you have no problem antagonizing Archer or lying to your coworkers to get out of work. One day you’ll write a book about your time at ISIS. A real smackaroonie. You have no additional powers in the game. MMCS - Pam Poovey / Team ISIS - You are Pam Poovey, head of Human Resources for ISIS. You and your dolphin puppet use your position to learn all of the office gossip, and then spread it, of course, usually on your blog. You are incredibly strong and have a high pain tolerance, both of which helped with the street fighting that put you through college. That and your drift car racing abilities helped make you an excellent candidate for ISIS agent, if only Ms. Archer would let you. The only person who can go toe to toe with Archer when it comes to alcohol, you have addictive tendencies and are particularly fond of Green Russians (absinthe and milk). Be careful around cocaine! You are the Sassy Mouth Protector. Each night you may select one player to protect. Additionally if you say something naughty (ex: innuendo, flirting with someone, referring to someone as attractive) during the Day and sends us proof, you may protect either another player or yourself that Night also. Machiabelly - Dr. Krieger / Team ISIS - You are Dr. Algernop Krieger, lead scientist for ISIS. Although you are neither a medical doctor nor any form of PhD holding scientist, the staff at ISIS trust you to patch up their wounds and create technological devices to aid in missions. In your spare time you concoct crazy experiments making animal human hybrids and sex robots. It’s highly unlikely that you are the clone of Adolf Hitler, but you definitely have clones and are of Nazi decent. Jazz hands! You have an Additional Anonymous Vote. One of your clones may add a vote during the day. The Hanged Man - Malory Archer / Team ISIS - You are Malory Archer, head of the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS). While you were once an impressive spy and a member of the OSS, now you mostly use your agency for your own whims. You’ve faked bomb threats to get aboard a Zeppelin cruise and to get reservations at a fancy restaurant. Your only son, Sterling, is your number one agent and the pair of you have an incredibly dysfunctional relationship. You were never one for mothering, preferring tough love and corporal punishment to kisses and Santa Claus. And Sterling has turned out fine; if only you knew who his father was. You are a Mason with your husband, Ron Cadillac. No Longer Rampaging: Oinky Boinky - Woodhouse / Team ISIS - You are Woodhouse, manservant to Sterling Archer. Despite your own storied military career, you’ve been in service to the Archers since Malory Archer gave birth in your Tangiers bar. You are one of the few consistent things in Archer’s life, having raised him since he was a baby and always being there while his mother was off on spy missions. The heroin helps you overlook the fact that he treats you as subhuman. Good thing you know how to cover your tracks when you need to: knock him out, splash scotch and women’s underwear about, and tell him he slipped chasing an Asian prostitute. He’ll never be the wiser. You have no additional powers in this game. Dougal - Barry Dylan / Team ODIN - You are Barry Dylan, ODIN agent and biggest rival to one Sterling Malory Archer. Beyond the mere fact of working at rival spy organizations, Archer has been the cause of much physical and emotional distress. First he dropped you from a balcony for ruining his suit. You fell on a car and broke your leg, needing steel rods and screws. Then he slept with your fiancée (the Pele of anal!). You will have your revenge on Archer if it’s the last thing you do! You are a Villain Investigator. Silverstormm - Ron Cadillac / Team ISIS - You are Ron Cadillac, husband to Malory Archer and the largest Cadillac dealer in the tri-state area. In your earlier days you were a car thief, but you have long since gone straight. You used your ill-gotten gains to start your car dealership and share your profits with the families of your former crew. You are a nice gentleman, although sometimes a little uncouth; you carry around saltines in your tux at the opera in case you might get hungry. This drives your wife crazy, but you’re the one who won her over and you’re the one who gets to keep her. You are a Mason with your wife, Malory Archer. Jesse - Len Trexler / Team ODIN - You are Len Trexler, head of ODIN and possible father to Sterling Archer. You run the rival spy agency to former lover Malory Archer’s ISIS. ODIN is wealthier, more technologically advanced, and frequently undercuts ISIS for lucrative government contracts. Despite your perceived clear superiority, you still aim to destroy ISIS at every opportunity. Malory Archer won’t marry you, so she must be destroyed. You are a Villain Protector. saoirse - Katya Kasanova / Team KGB - You are Katya Kasanova, KGB agent. Acting as a double agent trying to destroy ISIS from within, you fell in love with Archer and died to save his life. Fortunately Dr. Krieger is a mad scientist and brought you back to life as a cyborg. Outside of your removable, vibrating vagina and glowing red eyes, everything is basically normal. You use Archer’s love for you to manipulate him for your own diabolical purposes. You are a Villain Investigator. BizBuzz - Boris / Team KGB - You are Boris, a Junior Lieutenant KGB officer and personal assistant to Major Nikolai Jakov. Desperate for any attention, you would do anything for your boss. And I do mean anything. Jealous of Sterling Archer and the chance that Major Jakov may be his father, you sabotage his paternity test. Maybe one day you’ll be good enough for him. One day. You are a Villain Goon. caprice - Lana Kane / Team ISIS - You are Lana Kane, number two agent at ISIS because, well, nepotism. You were discovered by Malory Archer at an animal rights protest where you fearlessly stood down her gun. Strong, beautiful, and determined, the only thing you aren’t good at is dating. You can even write in cursive with one magazine of a Tec-9. But hold down a relationship? No way. Your trust issues aren’t exactly your fault though, given your time with Womanizer Archer and sex-addict Cyril. Good thing you can (and have) kick both their asses. You are a Hero Investigator. Curious Parker - Other Barry / Team ODIN - You are Other Barry, the alter ego of Barry Dylan ODIN agent, an unholy abomination of metal fused with flesh. After all the distress caused by Archer, Barry started to go a little insane and you came on to the scene. You are the incarnation of all of Barry’s blood lust, the outlet for all of his pain and frustration. You have no qualms about your levels of violence and are determined to ruin Archer once and for all. You are a Villain Goon. aquarian1 - Cyril Figgis / Team ISIS - You are Cyril Figgis, ISIS comptroller. Despite being good at your job and very well endowed, you struggle with deep-seated insecurity. Basically, you wish you could be Sterling Archer but lack all of the swagger. Your attempts at becoming a field agent have been a mixed bag. While you are very smart and good at improvisation, guns have never been your strong suit and you may have shot a few of your coworkers on accident. Better off sticking with the numbers. No safeties there! You are a Clumsy One-Time Vigilante. One night in the game you may submit a night kill in attempts to hit a villain. Should you miss and hit a Hero, the next living Hero in alphabetical order will die too. Ser Jorah Mormont - Nikolai Jakov / Team KGB - You are Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB. You’ve been conducting an affair with Malory Archer for years and are one of the possible men who could be Archer’s father. Despite this, you work to sabotage her agency at every turn: putting a mole operative in the ISIS headquarters, killing UN representatives to ruin ISIS’s prospects, and even trying to mind control her son. Your actions are that of a desperate man in love; all you want is for Malory to defect and be with you forever. Major Jakov, perhaps one day, with enough bullets, all you’ve ever wanted will be yours. You are a Villain Protector. CONGRATULATIONS!! Special thanks to lovely Chief Executive Game Mod @egavasc for letting me tag along on this one. She built it all and I decorated it. 2 Link to comment
Hanged Man July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 WOOHOO VICTORY! Drinks are on me. Unfortunately I only stock expensive, high end alcohols so if you like the cheap stuff you need to bring it yourself. and not a single accidental hero DL, I'm so proud of us. Good game everyone! 3 Link to comment
Guest July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Good game everybody! Thanks for running it, @egavasc and thanks for the decorations, @Drogo. Link to comment
Lisin July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Thanks @egavasc and @Drogo for an awesome game! Thanks Heroes for being awesome! Thanks Villains for being awesomely evil! 1 Link to comment
FormerMod-a1 July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Yay, Heroes! I even managed to use my one-time kill well. 2 Link to comment
egavasc July 12, 2016 Author Share July 12, 2016 (edited) Thanks y'all for indulging me! And a million thanks to my partner in crime @Drogo who made all my stories so pretty and fun! Could not have done it without you. Recap Day 1 Clues Knight in shining armor - Ser Jorah Mormont Just Enough So Someone Else - Jesse No DL Night 1 Clues subtly audacious, openly idiotic, royally stupid, egotistical - saoirse Buzzcut - BizBuzz Night Actions Lisin investigates BizBuzz caprice investigates SilverStormm BizBuzz Dougal investigates SilverStormm Jesse protects CuriousParker MMCS protects Jesse + Self KGB kill OinkyBoinky Day 2 Clues drunken oaf, used good accounting legwork - Dougal Atonement - movie starring Saoirse Ronan - saoirse DL - Dougal Night 2 Clues Most Valuable Tight End by the Santo Domingo High football team - Parker Lewis Can’t Lose - CuriousParker last words of the first five paragraphs spell out saoirse Night Actions ODIN kills SilverStormm Lisin uses her 1 vig kill on saoirse Ser Jorah Mormont protects saoirse saoirse investigates caprice caprice investigates The Crazed Spruce MMCS protects herself and The Crazed Spruce Day 3 Clues Stroker Ace - Burt Reynolds movie costaring Parker Stevenson - CuriousParker DL - Jesse Night 3 Clue No clue Night Actions KGB kills MMCS MMCS protects self and Lisin aquarian1 uses vig kill on saoirse caprice investigates aquarian1 Day 4 Clue Chivalrous - Ser Jorah Mormont DL - BizBuzz Night 4 Clue No clue Night Actions ODIN kills caprice Ser Jorah Mormont protects self MMCS protects self caprice investigates CuriousParker Day 5 Clue Here we stand - House words of House Mormont DL - CuriousParker Night 5 Clue No clue Night Actions KGB kills aquarian1 MMCS protects self and Deadpool Day 6 Clue No clue DL - Ser Jorah Mormont Awards @MuuMuuChainsmoker- Clue Savant @Oinky Boinky- Dirty Mouth Gone Too Soon @Ser Jorah Mormont+ @saoirse- Excellence in Upper Level Russian @Dougal- Hand of Fate (No matter how many times we reshuffled the roles, Dougal was always a villain investigator!) Edited July 12, 2016 by Drogo Fixed N1 investigation 5 Link to comment
Meredith Quill July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Good game everyone and thanks to the mods! 1 Link to comment
caprice July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Tons of fun!! Night One... I don't remember investigating Silver. Link to comment
egavasc July 12, 2016 Author Share July 12, 2016 That's what I get for not double checking things. Sorry bout that! 2 Link to comment
The Crazed Spruce July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Good game, everyone! Green Russians all around! 1 Link to comment
Jesse July 12, 2016 Share July 12, 2016 Good game, you guys! I'm glad to see the recap, because I could not figure out wtf had happened on night 3! Now I get the combination of the KGB target being protected and the ISIS vig kill. 1 Link to comment
MuuMuuChainsmoker July 13, 2016 Share July 13, 2016 Fun game, guys! @Hanged Man and @aquarian1, sorry I tinfoiled on you a bit at the end there. :) 2 Link to comment
TJtrack99 July 15, 2016 Share July 15, 2016 Sorry to do this to you guys again, but I'm going on my family's vacation from Saturday to Saturday. So it will be at least then that I can help host. Perhaps another round should go? Link to comment
Oinky Boinky July 17, 2016 Share July 17, 2016 Great game and congrats on the win. Most excellent game play and stories. I am leaving whore island this morning and would love to be in the next game. Thank you so much for the dirty mouth gone too soon award. Mwah!! to the mods. 2 Link to comment
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