Welcome To The Barge! Life Away from TFGH

[Chairperson Meow]

Well, Jason seems to have forgotten that time in his life. Sonny, well, um yeah, he's still Sonny. The only people who remember Courtney are Spencer and Nik.

[testardo]

For the most entertaining way to learn, watch the movie Breaking Away. It's an awesome movie, BTW.

 

But basically, imagine a bunch of rich (or at least upper middle class) students coming into town.  They're not there long-term. They have no regard for the city. They look down -- or at least the concept goes -- on the local men who aren't in college. Maybe they have dirt under their finger nails from working in a garage, etc.  They aren't as articulate or educated, at least that's what the college boys think.  And the town is a rinky dink without a lot going for it, so being from there could be seen as a dead-end, pathetic kind of thing.

 

Think of the scene from Good Will Hunting where the "local" Matt Damon shows up the college boys. Will Hunting would be considered a "townie," because he was a blue collar guy of college age from that area. Though it's kinda ridiculous to insult someone from city like Boston for living in Boston, considering that it's a huge metropolis with a ton of things going for it.  So, basically move Will Hunting to Rochester, New York, where he's a janitor, and that's a townie.

 

Just remember, everything on this show revolves around Ron and his own experiences and tastes.

The part of Boston good Will Hunting was from in the movie was the part of Boston called South Boston where all the poor lived. Now the Yuppies are moving in so soon it will be over. Beacon Hill is where the rich live. that's actually in Boston proper. Southie would have townies.

[Chairperson Meow]

I'm going with Ron thought it was a sly way to call us all basic bitches.

Screw you, Ron. I only have one color uggs.

[Dandesun]

Anyone ever read http://twain.lib.virginia.edu/projects/rissetto/offense.html Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses by Mark Twain?

 

It's rather amusing how many of these apply to Ron (to be fair: most of the soap writers who are left can learn something from this piece.)

 

Particular gems:

 

 

They require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones. But the reader of the "Deerslayer" tale dislikes the good people in it, is indifferent to the others, and wishes they would all get drowned together.

 

 

They require that the characters in a tale shall be so clearly defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given emergency. But in the "Deerslayer" tale, this rule is vacated.

 

 

Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.

 

 

A work of art? It has no invention; it has no order, system, sequence, or result; it has no lifelikeness, no thrill, no stir, no seeming of reality; its characters are confusedly drawn, and by their acts and words they prove that they are not the sort of people the author claims that they are; its humor is pathetic; its pathos is funny; its conversations are -- oh! indescribable; its love-scenes odious; its English a crime against the language.

 

Mark Twain says it better than I.

[Chairperson Meow]

Today's Recap in The Tell It To Me Like I'm Morgan:

Anna is back, bitches! Hair still fierce, meow! And that's Special Agent Anna Devane to you mothas! She immediately heads to Fierce Wardrobe Central- the roach motel Jordan stays at. Jordan is happy her lady is back. And btw, Jordan is rocking animal print and goregous curls. Her makeup is on point. Turns out Sloane tried to put Anna away, so Anna took his Agent job. Boo yah! Anna apparently still cares for Duke. Gag.

At Casa De Corinthos, where the criminals go to criminal, Spencer is all blah blah adjective about Avery. It's his birthday. Sonny gives him a present. He's not attending the Sacrifice to Lord Cthulu for trading Courtney for Spencer. But he also gives not a care about his dead sister. Meh girlsibling. Spencer says goodbye like my grandma and leaves. Shawn comes and he and Sonny discuss Jake. Shawn is watching Jake now.

Lots of dumb stuff with the kids. They talk like Twilight novels. Cam leaves with Joss, knocks over a swag bag and boom. Fire. But no one notices. Spencer takes 5 years to ask Emma to dance. While a fire goes on.

The hospital. Jake remembers nothing. Patrick could care less. Liz is on him like white on rice. Then Carly gets a turn, then we end at Sam's turn. But eh Billy Miller is hot so I get it.

Back at Casa De Criminal. Sonny slobbers all over Carly. Avery is Spiderman. She cries from upstairs like noooo.

Kelly's. Nathan freaks out because Spin loves Maxie and Maxie knew but didn't tell him. But like everyone else, he apologizes. Spinelli just kinda gets yelled at. It's a weird series of scenes. "Omg ur a liar?!" How is no one bringing up Nina? ? Or that Nathan's real name is James?

[HipOldBat]

 

He's not attending the Sacrifice to Lord Cthulu

Kelly's. Nathan freaks out because Spin loves Maxie and Maxie knew but didn't tell him. But like everyone else, he apologizes. Spinelli just kinda gets yelled at. It's a weird series of scenes. "Omg ur a liar?!" How is no one bringing up Nina? ? Or that Nathan's real name is James?

 

Like the Lovecraft reference.

 

I finally see now what people say about RP's acting - he wasn't very good at looking shocked/surprised/whatever that was.

[Chairperson Meow]

Spencer for real speaks like my mee maw and her friends- minus the Cajun accent and French. They're CBS and NBC soap watchers. When I was like 8, I knew how to say "Kiss my ass, Victor Newman!" in Cajun French. Did not go over well at school.

[33kaitykaity]

Hey Barge-ites, I'm here, I don't know for how long, but that preview of Nik and Emma made me feel very skeevy for all of it's inappropriateness.  I'll probably go back when the kiddie stuff is over, or if someone is kind and excerpts the non-kiddie stuff on YT, but I will not subject myself to this garbage.  Edited to add after the Like -- Or a beautifully concise recap by Grrpants09 below -- thanks!  

 

There are two shows from yesterday left waiting for me to stream them -- Castle and Gotham -- and four more coming up tonight.  My viewing card is full.  

 

I wish this forum let us post graphics.  I have a perfect one that's puking.  

 

http://forums.civfanatics.com/images/smilies/cwm8.gif

Edited February 25, 2015 by 33kaitykaity

[Chairperson Meow]

Yes. For the disenchanted, I will tell it to you like you're Morgan:

Big Wyndemire The Castle: It's Spencer's birthday! And um he and Emma are still the only ones there. They're dancing and talking like overly emotional teenagers when Emma notices a fire. They begin yelling for help. There was a line before about thibgs being meant to be that would have been mega creepy no matter what. Nik and Patrick are drinking cognac in some other room. Nik is like my son is a gentleman. Ok dude. Patrick is well he doesn't really care. Jason Thompson is here so he won't get fined. Emma and Spencer get out of the fire, but Spencer goes back for the boxing robe Sonny gave him. Tragedy. Nik and Patrick finally show up.

Club GH: Sam is chillin with Jake. He remembers nothing. They talk she gives him juice. Jake is like um.... ok

House of Anger and Laundry: Ric and Liz argue about Jake. Blah blah omg why can't you convince a jury that Helena brainwashed Jake? Blah.

Kellys, Home of the BLTs: Olivia keeps stealing Ned's pie. They talk about why did he agree to say he's her baby daddy. Ned says stuff, but none of it is bruh stop eating mah pie.

Haus of Death or Death Haus: Alexis and Julian are post sex as always, they don't believe Ned is the baby's daddy, but dealing with that would require them to stop having sex. They will deal with this matter later. Or never.

Preview: Nik is crying at Club GH when Emma comes up to him all slow and hugs him. It's the dumbest shit ever.

[HeatLifer]

"Jason Thompson is here so he won't get fined."

Hahahahahahahahaha. Why, yes. Yes he is.

[Chairperson Meow]

Whew. I was afraid you guys would be like "I don't wanna know what's going on!" I see these recaps as a way to warn the masses. It's my good deed for the day.

[33kaitykaity]

Whew. I was afraid you guys would be like "I don't wanna know what's going on!" I see these recaps as a way to warn the masses. It's my good deed for the day.

You saved 43 minutes of my life.  Gratitude, again.  ;)  

 

If y'all want to watch a blonde mob moll named Ava in action, watch Justified.  She rules.  

[Melgaypet]

So Cam started the Wyndemere fire? That is hilarious, that child is a firebug from way back. But I'm not amused enough to actually leave the Barge.

[Chairperson Meow]

The beautiful thing is that he started the fire and then went to the mall. Like a boss.

[BestestAuntEver]

So Cam started the Wyndemere fire? That is hilarious, that child is a firebug from way back. But I'm not amused enough to actually leave the Barge.

THIS. I miss fire starter Cam but couldn't watch the mess GH has become to see it.

[Tiger]

So Cam started the Wyndemere fire? That is hilarious, that child is a firebug from way back. But I'm not amused enough to actually leave the Barge.

I believe what happened is that Cam grabbed a party favor bag and knocked another one into a candle in doing so. I can't believe Nik had real candles at a kid's birthday party. It's an even bigger parenting fail than Maxie asking hit man extraordinaire Shawn to watch her baby.

[Chairperson Meow]

The fact that a 10 year old had swag bags was pretty messed up. Wth was in there?

[OnceSane]

The fact that a 10 year old had swag bags was pretty messed up. Wth was in there?

We.saw candy when Liz and Cam were on the couch. I assume there were also condoms, spermicide, and a nice bottle of merlot (just guessing from the kids' dialogue).

[dubbel zout]

The fact that a 10 year old had swag bags was pretty messed up.

 

No, that's the one thing that rang true for me. Swag bags are EVERYWHERE.

[Tiger]

We.saw candy when Liz and Cam were on the couch. I assume there were also condoms, spermicide, and a nice bottle of merlot (just guessing from the kids' dialogue).

There was something Cam pulled out of the bag that Liz stated as being candy, but the way the pieces were connected together it looked like a roll of condoms.

[Chairperson Meow]

I think I'd like Spencer way more if Aziz Ansari were playing him.

[Chairperson Meow]

Today's Tell It to Me Like I'm Morgan : Recaps for the People With No Pity:

(Sorry it's so late, I have a monster migraine and the Jodi Arias trial is on verdict watch!)

Kelly's, Home of the Sandwich: Shawn is busy not doing things right, therefore he's hired a waitress who doesn't comprehend the concept of tips. Shut up and take his money, I think as Duke overtips for his tea and scones. Shawn is branching out. Anna suddenly eats again and arrives. Duke is all "Omg Julian is out of jail, whatever shall you do? Even this magic box is talking about the sorcery! " Anna is like dude, not my job, go see Commisioner Cass's Brother. Duke mumbles about peeing on Julian's porch. Anna is like I'm an agent, don't tell me that. Duke darts off after a ball of yarn or a red light.

Death Haus: Julian and Alexis are going to try to not sex for a bit so Alexis can do lawyer things. She tells Julian she's representing Nina and Michael. Julian goes "Corinthos? " No. "Quartermaine. " That happened and it was cool. Alexis does shut Julian up and be like this is my job blah. Then Nik calls, he needs Alexis. Wormhole! Meanwhile, Julian is visited by Duke. Duke is like I want your territory. Julian goes no. This goes on for a bit till I'm pretty sure Julian laughed or I did. Both are possible. Duke did say he is the head of the Corinthos Orgahnahzashhhhohnnn. Julian is so grassy knoll about that.

The Apartment of Teen Angst Featuring an Adorable Baby : Maxie is more toned down when she rejects Spinelli. I kinda liked Spinelli. Bradford Anderson is charming. She makes Spinelli go stay somewhere- anywhere else. Um.... He's been raising Georgie her whole life. Could he not take her? Nah. Logic.

PCPD or Anna Devane's Play Room: Luke has a lawyer- Diane Miller. They're all you destroyed Luke's civil liberties. Where was this argument when you represented AJ, Ms. Miller? Luke threatened Dante, Lulu, and the kid again. Rocco must have allergies, as Luke calls him a snot factory. Less shopping, Lulu, more taking your kid to a doctor.

The Small Apartment That Gets Bigger: Tracy, Lulu, and Bobbie talk about Pat. After mom died, Luke and Bobbie moved to Fl. Pat disappeared. Luke and Ruby never let Bobbie talk about it.

Club GH: Lucas is Spencer's trauma care every doctor. Nik tries to barge in. Good performance from TC till it's too much. Spencer lives, but he's unconscious. Emma is sad. Patrick still can't take care of his kid after she's been in a fire, so it's Agent Devane to the rescue! They pray in a chapel. Off screen. It's really the typical "I'm a baaad paaaarrrent!" spiel from Nik. While Patrick whom could have lost his only child twice in a year is all yolo, let me get a coke and a smile. TC wants an Emmy and I'm not sure I have the heart to tell him it's not the 90s anymore.

Previews have the return of Silas, I think the New Kiki, and Nik flipping out on Dr. O

[SlovakPrincess]

That recap was hilarious. None of this entices me to leave the Barge, though.

[Chairperson Meow]

That recap was hilarious. None of this entices me to leave the Barge, though.

Thanks! My job is to take one for the team so you don't have to. Yet, still give you laughs.

[Chairperson Meow]

Today's recap- Tell It to Me Like I'm Morgan because just because he's there doesn't mean he comprehends......

Kelly's, Where Everyone Eats: Kiki is a blonde now. I still don't care. Except I thought she was a giant and she's not. She's very shiny. She also doesn't make weird faces. Keeks and Morgan are discussing the Ava Memorial. Silas is kinda whatever, but he's more interested than usual. ME interacts better with Shiny Kiki. BC isn't as rawr either. Blah blah I only have one picture of Avery and my mom, Shiny Keeks says. Morgan tells her Micheal is suing for custody. Well, that dulled her shine. Blah blah he doesn't care. Blah Sonny is great. Blah Sonny's love. Micheal shows up to get herbal tea (no seriously ) and he and Morgan get in a huge fight. Morgan decks Micheal. Silas seperates them, saying they're supposed to be grown men. They are and you're supposed to be a detective. Blah blah you loved Kiki. Micheal brings up that Ava killed Connie and framed AJ, which got him murdered. Kiki's like and? He goes I know what it's like to lose a parent. He drops the mic and leaves.

Casa De Corinthos : Sonny finds out Spencer is in the hospital. He wants to be like screw this custody hearing, Spencer needs me! Sonny's love is a huge responsibility. Carly is there in his time of need to remind him to fight for his daughter. Kristina who? Diane is supposed to be his lawyer, but as Luke is currently stealing her soul, Ric will fill in. Carly is panicking about this. All in the room. I'm so punny. Blah blah the brothers make up. Sonny is like fuck your feelings Carly, you're a women.

Courthouse of No Logic: Alexis is all busy and stuff. She's got Nina's case. This custody thing. And a sex marathon with Julian..... oh yeah Spencer's in the hospital too. So The Corinthos clan wheel in with Avery to talk to Micheal. He holds Avery. Omg. Micheal hating Sonny, wearing a suit, hating Carly, being a Quartermaine, and holding that beautiful baby is the cutest thing. Carly starts bleating about all the love and loving her so much. Joss who? It's like when Morgan said single men with no jobs can't get custody of babies over mobsters. No that happened today.

GH the Fanclub of Jake: Dr O and Nik fight over Britt, but Dr O is just trying to send Spencer to a special kids hospital. Nik sees Spencer and tells him. Spencer is all wrapped up. TC is really good, but I'm still like.... Dr O is a criminal.

Secret Dungeon: Silas had told Keeks he had to go out of town. He's taking care of Ava. How does she still look great? You fell off a bridge, lady.

Shadybrooke, Shady Pines: Nina sees Franco. He calls her Phylis. RoHo would have been awesome opposite MSt as a sexy, devilish businessman. So Alexis and Nathan are like Nina you're free. But you can't see Franco. Nina has to go with Nathan to the court house and plots to go back to Shadybrooke. She says Avery is her baby.

Tomorrow : Micheal testifies against Sonny, Silas is with Ava

[33kaitykaity]

I tried.  Truly I tried.  Nothing registered.  So I went back and watched Carly tell Jason that Robin was dead, along with, once again, the "girlfriend moment."  I found myself pining for SBu.  I'll still look at the recaps, but I have a feeling I won't watch again until BM is really and truly motherfucking Jason.  

[Chairperson Meow]

On today's Tell It To Me Like I'm Morgan - Recaps For The Disenchanted, Disgusted, and Disinterested. ....

New York, New York- Dr. Silas Morley McBain is holding Ava in the hospital where Stephen Clay "died" and where he worked and stuff. Interesting. Maybe Ava will a vampire. No. Its just boring stuff about the cops looking for Ava and how their daughter Kiki thinks shes dead. Reminder new Kiki omg we are so dumb! They eventually get to talking about how Sonny has custody of Avery. Ava is basically like oh hell naw, as any normal mother would upon hearing Sonny Corinthos will be raising their kid. She is Team Get Revenge on Sonny, but doesn't want Micheal using Avery to do it. She in fact, fully supports Micheal going after Sonny till he dies. Just don't use Avery. But didn't Ava prefer Franco as Kiki's dad over Silas, so wtf now? Why is everyone hating on Micheal? Ava wants to throw her hat in the ring because kids are a prize, but Silas reminds her that orange washes her out. So it's the vampire room for her and either the Thug Life or the Q Life for Avery.

Shady Pines- (Wtf was the name of the place Fiona hated in AHS:Coven, they kept yelling Shady something. ... I keep thinking of it during these scenes like this is my punishment for defending Ron in 2012) Franco is there. Olivia comes to see him because um she's in the I got attacked by Heather with LSD and I didn't get anything cool tee shirt too club. He calls her Mama Celeste. I decide no pizza tonight. She confesses she's pregnant with Julian's baby because everyone on this show is dumb besides Micheal and whomever Billy Miller is playing. And sometimes Silas. Franco asks if Papa John is the father. I've read blind gossip. Seems legit. And an accurate comparison. Run, Peyton. Jesus. Olivia leaves. After Olivia leaves, Franco says "Anytime, Olivia." Nina returns to Shady..... blah and says ... dumb shit about the color blue. No I'm not lying. Then says she faked a mental breakdown. Just 4 wuv. Twu luff! This recap is not responsible 4 barf bagz!

Kelly's - Home of The Bohemian Sammy, The Shirtless Cop, and The Thugs Who Like Tea: Julian paces outside our quaint sandwich, breakfast, dinner, cafe, and housing unit in a peacoat I'm sure looked better on Jordan (all clothes do). He is laughing still at Duke threatening him. So am I. Thanks for bringing that up. He says he's gonna bring back the bidnizz. Because it's still Fall 2013. And because it was such a great idea the first time. And who the fuck is he talking to? Doesn't Jules have like 5 friends? Carlos is in jail, Luke isn't his friend, Sonny's at court, Johnny is on the run, Alexis is so anti mob, Sam well she's a mob supporter not enforcer, Ava is in a hospital in NY, and Lucas is anti mob. So is he back with Jordan? Or did he make new friends? Anyway, he gets in the place and Morgan is all up in his face about not being in prison anymore. Really, dude? Morgan.... your dad, Sonny murdered AJ for no damn reason. Julian really didn't do anything except annoy a few people. If your murdering daddy, who shot your mom in the head as she birthed you, can skate, so can others. Geeze. New Kiki seems like she is related to Julian and Ava, so it works. Kiki and Jules basically tell Morgan to chill for the Ava Memorial. Morgan gets all Alpha puppy then calms down. Jules asks what kind of crowd Kiki expects for it. She's like um... gallery? Julian is like she killed a person. They discuss the custody case. Because um yeah. Julian says Sonny's life is dangerous, but he'd fight for his own kid. Anvil!

The Holy Hospital Room: Jake has a weird dream of taking care of Liz. Probably from sometime Liz was in danger thanks to some mob stuff. The Guza years were so violent. But damned if Billy Miller doesn't add emotion into it. Jake tells Liz, who- shocker- is there when he wakes up. She dismisses it as him wanting to repay her gratitude. Um.... ok. She also feeds him juice. They have a spark. I admit it.

Spencer is still at Shriners Hospital in Boston.

Micheal VS Sonny - Round 1: Micheal takes the stand to explain why Sonny doesn't deserve custody. Faith Roscoe, business rival, kidnapped Micheal and his siblings. Sonny took Micheal to his warehouse to show him his real business as a minor, a hitman shot Sonny, but the bullet his Micheal and put him in a coma for a year. Sonny shot his own son, Dante Falconeri in the chest because Dante was an undercover cop. Dante lied to not get Sonny in trouble. Sonny got Kristina kidnapped by a rival- Joe Scully Jr and nearly killed. Sonny got custody of Micheal by coercing his biological father to give up custody. Sonny goes off his bipolar meds frequently which has negative effects on the people around him. At the Quartermaines, Avery will be surrounded by love and want for nothing. We end with Ric begining cross examination.

Previews : Ric plays dirty by I guess bringing up Micheal killing Claudia in self defense, Franco admits he's faking his mental state and Nina bitch slaps him, Jules catches Carlos, and Ava tries to escape.

[HeatLifer]

I tried. Truly I tried. Nothing registered. So I went back and watched Carly tell Jason that Robin was dead, along with, once again, the "girlfriend moment." I found myself pining for SBu. I'll still look at the recaps, but I have a feeling I won't watch again until BM is really and truly motherfucking Jason.

I'm actually contemplating a bit of an extended break, as well. Sometimes I think it's the Jake/Jason story (which includes Helena, Liz, Sam, Patrick, and now Nik) that's bugging me the most, but then I remember the crap involving Sonny, Carly, Morgan, Kiki, Michael, Nina, Franco, Ava, Silas, Maxie, Spinelli, Nathan, Emma, Spencer, Joss, Cameron, Alexis, Julian...and I hate all that, too. I hate everything and that can't be good.

[Chairperson Meow]

Is there anything you need extra snark on? I really am not interested in Spencer nor Stalker Nurse. I'm there for Billy Miller and stuff. I'm kinda hate watching and.....I find things to make fun of. I had a blue dress/white dress thing when I watched, but I ate chicken and forgot. I kinda do the recaps literally with a couple of drinks chillin. But eh I'll take requests. But no Sonny love. I can't.

[HeatLifer]

There can never be enough Patrick snark.

[Chairperson Meow]

If Patrick insists on being a douche. .... it writes itself......

[HeatLifer]

I also need to stop watching bc I read somewhere that Patrick is perfect and Sonny is a good father and I'm like, that's too much, dude. You can have one or the other. Not both. You just can't have both.

Edited February 28, 2015 by HeatLifer

[Chairperson Meow]

No way. How much do these people drink?

[HeatLifer]

No way. How much do these people drink?

I don't knoooow! Maybe my TV is on a different feed. 'Cause Patrick and Sonny are the worst.

[Chairperson Meow]

We're on the same feed lol.

[33kaitykaity]

Aw, no recap?  

[Chairperson Meow]

Sorry. I was eating noms. Here was go!!! Today's recap is brought to you by pizza! Tell me stories like I'm Morgan Ignacio Corinthos and I still believe Santa is coming! Recaps for people who love to give baristas the wrong name.

Teh Patio De Kelly's, Home of The Best Espresso Ever: Julian is talking to his imaginary friend, Barney the Dinosaur on his mobile again. Blah blah we some thugs, ya heard. We gon take this town. Coffee. Gummy bears. Candy. Feel it flowin through the air, we gon run this town tonight. Carrrrlos hears and is like "Hey bro, sup?" Jules is like "bruh you supposed to be in jail? Da fuck?"" Carlos reminds them that they live in Port Charles. No one like stays in jail. Duh. They can't tame me. Julian keeps bringing up jail, Ava, blah. Carlos is like dude, Ava threatened Sabrina, I love her wtf would you do? How many times have you wanted to kill your sister? (Actual line, very ucg!) Julian can't argu with that. Carlos is like bruh, Luke is a crazy old dude, you know that. They decide to work together. Bromance reignited. Squeee!

Hospital Stalking Time: Liz is a courtin in Jake's room. Blah I like you. Barf ur cute. U like me? Ermergerd ur cute? Ric iz so jelly! Commisioner Winthrop Sloane Dusty Rhodes comes in. Liz gets all pissy. He's like shut up. I dine with kings and queens and eat pork and beans! She's like I'm a get mah mommy. Whatevs. He's the American Dream, Stalker Nurse. So Commisioner Creepy sez Jake you're a free man.... but you gotta be an undercover brother for the Jerome orrrrgahhnahhzayshhoohhnn. Because fuck those dudes. They're going down. BRUH PUT SONNY BEHIND BARS 4 EVA! Jake is all I'll think about it. Dude. Just be a cop. You won't go to Pentonville.

Silas's Dungeon- Ava is watching the trial on a tablet. Bitch got an ipad and free health care and Micheal Easton bedside. Damn son. But she did have to bang Sonny. Not worth it. She sees Carly via live stream holding Avery. She gets all Cersai and vows to never let Carly raise her kid. Good choice. But Silas is like dude you can't leave. He asks are you remorseful? She says yes. He won't turn her in, but she can't make to the courtroom.

Shady Pines : Franco admits he's now faking, but wasn't at first. Nina unchains him. They admit they're fucked up people, but they love each other. They kiss. Still a better love story than Sonny and..... anyone. I'm still not convinced that this is Franco btw.

Teh Courthouse of Pain: Ric badgers Micheal about why he wants custody of Avery. Is it revenge? (This was the only watchable part imo and only for Chad Duell who's grown immensely as an actor) Micheal says it's to protect Avery. Ric brings up AJ's murder. He says yes, Sonny should pay. Ric calls Micheal a killer. Carly had stepped out prior, so as she walked in she heard this and freaked out and interrupted. Micheal calmly explained it was involuntary manslaughter. He saw Claudia with his sister and a gun and was protecting his mother and sister and he'd do it again. They tried to say Micheal has no ties to Avery. Legally Sonny is Micheal's father, so legally he does. Court took a recess.

Previews for tomorrow : Sonny yells at someone (Micheal? ) "Do you want to make yourself my enemy?!

[Chairperson Meow]

I forgot to do a recap. So here it is.

Sonny Corinthos and The Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Day:

It begins hanging out with his least favorite child (that he remembers because who is Kristina? ), Morgan. And Morgan at least found a blue suit to attend Ava's memorial. He wants Avery to attend, in the middle of a custody case. For Avery. "But, Pops," Brain Child says, "You're gonna win!" Sonny just lost custody of Avery. Blah blah. Ava Ava. Avery. Kiki. And Morgan takes her. Morgan hugs Sonny before leaving "You still got me, Pops!" Sonny clenches his teeth. Fist bump.

New York Vampire Hospital:

Ava thanks Silas for risking prison for saving her murdering self. She has red nail polish on. Ironic. Blah blah. My daughters. Blah blah. Michael saved my life. Then she says some dumb shit about Micheal should be in prison for killing Sonny so Kiki can raise Avery. So since Sonny has her with nannies, does anyone want to hang out with Avery? Damn. And why send Micheal to prison? Anyway, even ME is like this scene is dumb. He rolls his eyes. Just like shut up to the writers. Kiki calls and says tthere's a bar memorial for Ava. Silas says he'll go. He goes um in another room so that the plot will allow Ava to see a text saying Avery will be there. Ruh roh.

Ryan's Bar:

Kiki, Delia, Julian, Morgan, Avery, Spanish flowers, and extras have gathered to drink and, well look at a picture of Ava. It's how she would have wanted it. Ava stalks her memorial in a fur hoodied coat. Silas suspects something because he didn't know Kikik texted him.

Shriners Hospital :

Sam visits Nik. She gives him Spencer's present. I think it's earrings? She asks him who Jake is. He freaks out and stutterbarks that she doesn't need to know. Sam suspects nothing. Family is used a lot.

Jake's Hospital Room, Doh!:

Carly has a fierce ponytail and visits Jake. There's too much damn pretty in this scene. I cant deal. She hears random cop be all bro u gonna take dat deal, yo? Jake hits a button... Carly runs in. Don't hit buttons. You get Carly. She asks Jake till he says I gotta be in the mob. Undercover. For the 5-0. She's like noooooo copppers. He's like screw it. She leaves. He calls for Cass's brother.

Courthouse of No Mercy:

Ric tries to badger Micheal. Dude, I always liked you! I always hated you! Oooh, Ric, you need some ice for that burn? Michael straight up says dude don't even go there, you chained my mom to a wall while she was pregnant. .... double burn. Damn, son. Alexis sees this and still is like durr well Sonny is awesome you sure you want this? Michael powers through. Court begins. New judge ya'll! Monica's boyfriend! Point, match. Quartermaine.

Stuff I forgot :

Julian and Sonny broke up:( Jules is totes back in da bidnezz. He told Sonny omg thanks for being awesome, but I'm back. Then catfight. He's the enemy of Sonny.

Previews: Alexis snaps at Micheal "What did you do? "

[33kaitykaity]

I forgot to do a recap. So here it is.

Sonny Corinthos and The Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Day:

It begins hanging out with his least favorite child (that he remembers because who is Kristina? ), Morgan. And Morgan at least found a blue suit to attend Ava's memorial. He wants Avery to attend, in the middle of a custody case. For Avery. "But, Pops," Brain Child says, "You're gonna win!" Sonny just lost custody of Avery. Blah blah. Ava Ava. Avery. Kiki. And Morgan takes her. Morgan hugs Sonny before leaving "You still got me, Pops!" Sonny clenches his teeth. Fist bump.

New York Vampire Hospital:

Ava thanks Silas for risking prison for saving her murdering self. She has red nail polish on. Ironic. Blah blah. My daughters. Blah blah. Michael saved my life. Then she says some dumb shit about Micheal should be in prison for killing Sonny so Kiki can raise Avery. So since Sonny has her with nannies, does anyone want to hang out with Avery? Damn. And why send Micheal to prison? Anyway, even ME is like this scene is dumb. He rolls his eyes. Just like shut up to the writers. Kiki calls and says tthere's a bar memorial for Ava. Silas says he'll go. He goes um in another room so that the plot will allow Ava to see a text saying Avery will be there. Ruh roh.

Ryan's Bar:

Kiki, Delia, Julian, Morgan, Avery, Spanish flowers, and extras have gathered to drink and, well look at a picture of Ava. It's how she would have wanted it. Ava stalks her memorial in a fur hoodied coat. Silas suspects something because he didn't know Kikik texted him.

Shriners Hospital :

Sam visits Nik. She gives him Spencer's present. I think it's earrings? She asks him who Jake is. He freaks out and stutterbarks that she doesn't need to know. Sam suspects nothing. Family is used a lot.

Jake's Hospital Room, Doh!:

Carly has a fierce ponytail and visits Jake. There's too much damn pretty in this scene. I cant deal. She hears random cop be all bro u gonna take dat deal, yo? Jake hits a button... Carly runs in. Don't hit buttons. You get Carly. She asks Jake till he says I gotta be in the mob. Undercover. For the 5-0. She's like noooooo copppers. He's like screw it. She leaves. He calls for Cass's brother.

Courthouse of No Mercy:

Ric tries to badger Micheal. Dude, I always liked you! I always hated you! Oooh, Ric, you need some ice for that burn? Michael straight up says dude don't even go there, you chained my mom to a wall while she was pregnant. .... double burn. Damn, son. Alexis sees this and still is like durr well Sonny is awesome you sure you want this? Michael powers through. Court begins. New judge ya'll! Monica's boyfriend! Point, match. Quartermaine.

Stuff I forgot :

Julian and Sonny broke up:( Jules is totes back in da bidnezz. He told Sonny omg thanks for being awesome, but I'm back. Then catfight. He's the enemy of Sonny.

Previews: Alexis snaps at Micheal "What did you do? "

You rock.  Thank you!  

 

I didn't want to be a nag, so I didn't bug you yesterday.  

 

You're telling me everything I need to know.  I will not watch again until BM is the real Jason.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  

[Chairperson Meow]

Today's recap:

When Micheal Got His Q Back:

Ric doth protest that Judge Monica's Boo Thang can't be Judge Swapping in the midst of a proceeding. Judge reminds him that he replaced Diane. Ooh. I'll get to the point. Micheal tells Alexis "Go for the jugular. " Sonny is on the stand. She questions him about Morgan being at military school. Sonny's all like Morgan was never in any danger with me. Then Alexis says "What about the night you shot his mother in the head while giving birth to him?" The record skips. The music skips. A glass drops. Carly's gaping maw drops open. Everyone is like whaaaaat? Stutterbarking ensues. But but uh you uh gotta uh ask Carly you see um I thought she was in um danger. No , Mr. Corinthos, I'm asking you. Then, it gets to Sonny begging for Micheal to remember he loves him. But nothing like "I apologize for taking AJ's life because it was wrong. His life had meaning." It's typical Sonny bullshit. Carly and Sonny high five themselves for Sonny being remorseless for murdering a man in cold blood- Micheal's father and telling him get over it dude and telling him in court- till Carly goes "I recognize that judge."

Hospital Room, Doh!- Jake takes the deal from Commisioner Creeper. He can't believe he's gonna be working for a mobster. Omg! If you only knew...

Ryan's Bar: People are sad Ava died. Kiki cries. Ava fed Kiki growing up. It wasn't bar food. I'm shocked. Silas talked. Morgan um... I can't remember if he did. Sorry. It was boring. Kiki cried and I was shocked Ava fed her. Roxy sang Danny Boy to Avery and Ava creeped outside. Avery outacted everyone in these scenes.

Shriners Hospital : We haven't seen Spencer in a while. It's been nice. Nik and Sam are still talking. He's about to tell her who Jake is. Nah, I'm playing. There's a convinent emergency. Spencer's pain meds caused a blood pressure drop, but he's good. Sam still knows nothing. Like always. We also haven't seen Patrick.

Quartermaine Mansion, bitches: Tracy is babysitting Danny because plot. New Danny has Steve Burton hair from early Liason days. Scary. But Tracy is awesome playing with him. She says Luke is getting arraigned today to Ned. Ned says Olivia is preggers for him. She's glad. They talk about Avery. She's Team Micheal.

Kelly's, Where Everyone Talks: Olivia tells Dante she's pregnant. He's like ew not for Sonny. She's like God no. He's like Mom, it's not a vision? She's like um no, science, pregnancy testd, real deal.

Tomorrow we continue with the custody battle for Avery, Silas makes an oh fuck face when he learns that Ava escaped.

[Chairperson Meow]

Yesterday on GH:

Morgan couldn't comprehend it, so we had to bring in Joss.

Flashbacks of Luke's arraignment. Apparently, well yeah, he bit Scott Baldwin 's ear off. Now Luke is in Shadybrooke with Nina and Franco dressed as Silence of the Lambs.

Bobbie was sent in there to try and get Scott to drop all ear biting charges. She um. Failed. Because ear bitten off. There was a close up of TG's mouth. Gross.

Franco closed the show with going Todd Manning and quoting Princess Bride and saying he'd kill Luke. Kill it. Kill it with fire.

Micheal Quartermaine got custody. He stood up to Sonny, who flipped his shit. Sonny lied about Avery's wherabouts. Carly is afraid that Micheal will get the meathook. It was brought up by Michael as insults to Sonny. Sonny now views Micheal as his enemy AJ level style. Ruh roh.

Roxy knows Ava is alive, she swears not to tell. Ava tries to run off with Avery. Silas is like, no, we can't raise a baby in the hospital.

Spinelli and Maxie kissed.

Tomorrow we continue. ... I forgot the previews. I had a nightmare about Luke so I forgot.

[Evolution101]

Your recaps are much more entertaining than this show.

[Chairperson Meow]

Dear Aiden, this is what you miss, as you sit in the basement :

Quartermaine Mansion : Micheal and Tracy discuss the custody hearing. She says Sonny is a black mark on society. (You know him, he's the man who shot your Uncle Dante, the really greasy guy who yells a lot, he killed AJ, that guy who you saw last time you were out of the basement. ) Tracy congratulates Micheal, says he's a Quartermaine. Micheal goes with court officers to get Avery. Tracy talks to Edward and Lila's pictures. It's poetic justice that Micheal takes Sonny's kid after he took Jason, Micheal, and AJ.

Casa de Corinthos : Sonny calls Morgan. Don't bring Avery home. Fly her to the island. Because Michael has never been there and knows none of Sonny's tricks. And Morgan won't go to prison for kidnapping. Morgan agrees. Carly says Micheal will take care of her. This is stupid. Sonny says silence female. Carly says Morgan will go to prison. Sonny says who? Sonny says Micheal must be neutralized. Micheal arrives. The court people go get Avery. She's not there. Micheal yells "Arrest that son of a bitch!"

Ryan's Bar:

Ava still wants to bolt with Avery, while Kiki and Morgan discuss the phone call for like 10 years outside. Delia and Silas finally convince her that no she can't raise the baby on the run. Silas goes back to the hospital with her. She's dying. Kiki doesn't see her, but does tell Morgan that no, they're not going to the island, that's not best for Avery.

Dumbest love triangle:

Nathan sees Maxie and Spinelli kiss. Maxie babbles. Nathan wants to hit Spinelli. Spinelli gets a hit on his computer. Info about Pat Spencer. He runs to Q Towers and tells Tracy. He shows her a paper, doesn't tell the audience because it's Friday.

Shady Pines : Franco doesn't kill Luke. I'm sad. Some shit like MSt is a goddess. She does have goregous hair and she is pretty. Scotty is a loser, I dunno. TG sounds high. So Luke is like I'll help you escape. They decide not to kill him.

And yeah. Monday....will Micheal get Avery or will Morgan get arrested, further proving Sonny is the best dad ever?!

[SlovakPrincess]

What's annoying is Anna hasn't been on-screen a lot. Can't the writers use this time for her to try to search for Robin or do something. I mean, seriously.

 

 

Yep.  The pointless ruination of Anna's once-awesome character (and really, Patrick, Mac, Felicia, Maxie, offscreen Robert, any of her other supposed friends, etc., could also show some damn concern for Robin!!) and the continual, heartless victimization of Robin's character is why I will never, ever, ever forgive the current writers.

 

Unless and until the spoilers state that this will be resolved in a satisfactory way, I am on the Barge.   And the longer this goes on, the less likely this can ever be repaired.

 

The fact is that the writers do the most cursory, lazy attempt at "explaining" away something (Robin skyped her family once so everyone can just ignore her now ... Sonny kind-of-not-really saved the governor's daughter, so he gets pardoned for murder within a day ... bad shit keeps happening to Ava so we feel bad for her and don't think about the fact that she's a cold-blooded murderer who killed for the dumbest reason imaginable ... Luke -- ok, no, they don't even try to explain shit with that story).   Without any regard for whether it really makes sense or will have any value for the audience.

 

I think Ron feels like "ok, we did a Scorpio story" with the rescue of Robin in 2013 ... and then immediately lost interest in those characters.  Although he claimed he wanted to bring back Robert for reals, I have my doubts.  Robert would probably get the invisible Mac treatment if he were back ... or be treated with casual disdain like Anna ... or be placed in some immaturely-written love triangle like Bobbie/Scott/Lucy.  Robert's not a mobster or a psychotic villain, or a relative/employee of a mobster or psycho, so what could Ron possibly think to do with him?

 

Sorry ... feeling rant-y today ...  better scamper off to the deck for more drinks ...

 

 

Flashbacks of Luke's arraignment. Apparently, well yeah, he bit Scott Baldwin 's ear off. Now Luke is in Shadybrooke with Nina and Franco dressed as Silence of the Lambs.

 

 

WTF???  

Edited March 7, 2015 by SlovakPrincess

[HeatLifer]

I think what has irritated me the most is that Ron has gotten away with being a shoddy storyteller and deflected all the criticism on the fact that "Well, KMc wants to be a director now, so blame her!"

[SlovakPrincess]

I think what has irritated me the most is that Ron has gotten away with being a shoddy storyteller and deflected all the criticism on the fact that "Well, KMc wants to be a director now, so blame her!"

 

Yes, because no other writer in the history of television writing has ever had to come up with a plausible and satisfying exit for a character when the actor left ... only poor Ron has ever been up against these steep odds.  [/sarcasm]  

 

And here KMc is even willing to drop by and visit occasionally!  Just write her off to NYC for fuck's sake!  Let her share custody of Emma!  Have Helena hypnotize Robin so she forgets everything about Jason and the last year of being held against her will, if we must preserve that ridiculous "Jake" shit!   Hell, tell me Helena hypnotized the entire town to be stupid about Robin and everyone (including Robin) now thinks Robin has happily lived in NYC since shortly after finding out Sabrina was carrying Patrick's child.  OMG, it is not even that difficult to write in a fantastical fix-all, given how little the stories make sense at this point.

 

Just don't expect me to accept a heroine-in-captivity-forever-offscreen-while-her-family-doesn't-give-a-shit story like it makes any kind of sense and isn't completely enraging!    

 

I really can't stop ranting about this, it's like a disease with me .... LOL.  I apologize.  

[HeatLifer]

Just don't expect me to accept a heroine-in-captivity-forever-offscreen-while-her-family-doesn't-give-a-shit story like it makes any kind of sense and isn't completely enraging!

I want to frame this. For reals. Perfectly said.

And don't apologize for ranting! I'm doing it too. We can't stop. We won't stop. /Miley

Edited March 7, 2015 by HeatLifer

[Chairperson Meow]

Dude, Ava could have just hit them both with the car and only found Jason. Robin could have rolled into a ditch, where the goons grabbed her. If Victor was smart enough to pre install an explosion device, he would have had divorce papers forged. We'd see Robin with Helena unable, literally to go to anyone, which makes the story better. No one thinks to look for her because she's unreachable and sent divorce papers. So we'd see Jason as Jake see Robin as his conscience, then Robin has amnesia too for a moment.

[dubbel zout]

I think what has irritated me the most is that Ron has gotten away with being a shoddy storyteller and deflected all the criticism on the fact that "Well, KMc wants to be a director now, so blame her!"

 

That's what Ron does. He got peeved at Jon Lindstrom for taking a role on True Detective, claiming oh-so-conveniently that he'd planned some good stuff for Kevin. That's why we got dayplayer Kevin to tell Carly that Jake hadn't ever been to therapy. Because of course that's news that only Kevin could impart. Ugh.

[CPP83]

That's what Ron does. He got peeved at Jon Lindstrom for taking a role on True Detective, claiming oh-so-conveniently that he'd planned some good stuff for Kevin. That's why we got dayplayer Kevin to tell Carly that Jake hadn't ever been to therapy. Because of course that's news that only Kevin could impart. Ugh.

 

 

He is a child. I have never in my life seen someone so openly act like a five year old when he can't get his way. And the way he deals with the actors whenever they don't "get in line" with whatever he wants to do...it's just amazing to me that anyone wants to work for or with him.

 

I think that's one of the reasons he doesn't deal with the vets often, because they all actually have enough of careers and history to not just bow to his will if they don't agree with his direction or the story lines and so he'd much rather have actors that are, imo, lucky to have regular jobs to begin with.