S03.E05: Toby

[SnarkyBear]

On 10/23/2018 at 10:03 PM, ErinV said:

Oh shut UP Kate.  Your singing telegram client does not need to hear about your life of problems.  Seriously.  Your dad died, and you had a miscarriage.  Nothing thousands of people haven’t gone through also.  Oh and you have a supportive family and husband.  Please cut it out!

Seriously. I've gone through both of those things. But I'm not going to give y'all a speech about them.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

On 10/26/2018 at 11:01 PM, love2lovebadtv said:

Beth's family is not from the US, which means Zoe's family isn't either unless it's only one of Beth's parents and Zoe is on the other side of her family.

 

On 10/27/2018 at 4:56 AM, Katy M said:

Wait, what?  where is Beth from?  I totally missed that she wasn't born in this country.  Or was it her parents?  Either way, I missed it.

 

On 10/27/2018 at 5:36 AM, love2lovebadtv said:

Her parents are from the Caribbean. 

I don't know how accurate this is since anyone can edit a wiki, but according to this, Beth's mother is African-American and her father is Jamaican-American so they may have based Beth's background on Susan Kelechi Watson's (her mother is of Nigerian descent but born in Jamaica and her father was also born in Jamaica) . In this interview, Susan says:

Quote

"They don't mind feedback," Watson said of the writers' room. "They'll come in and check with me about certain things about my culture because Beth is Jamaican and I'm Jamaican-American. They ask questions. They're a curious group." Even costume designer Hala Bahmet is collaborating with Watson, pulling unique African prints for Beth's wardrobe that will showcase her artistic side.

[love2lovebadtv]

9 minutes ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

 

 

I don't know how accurate this is since anyone can edit a wiki, but according to this, Beth's mother is African-American and her father is Jamaican-American so they may have based Beth's background on Susan Kelechi Watson's (her mother is of Nigerian descent but born in Jamaica and her father was also born in Jamaica) . In this interview, Susan says:

I didn't know the actor's background, but I remembered the character Beth talking about her Caribbean background in a prior episode. 

[St. Claire]

On 10/29/2018 at 2:27 PM, icemiser69 said:

I am hoping that the medical professional puts Toby on a placebo instead of a lower dosage of his regular medication.  I tend to wonder how much of what is going on in Toby's head is really a mental health issue, and how much of it is just the fear of going off of his medication and the pressure he felt in trying to have a baby.  Panic attacks.

Given that Toby has been exhibiting symptoms of depression and anxiety since childhood, and based on his demonstrated withdrawal symptoms, I think Toby is someone who needs the SSRI/mood stabilizer/whatever as maintenance meds. Some folks can deal with depression and anxiety through counseling and CBT, some go on meds for the short term after a situational depression, but many of us just need those medications to get our brain chemistry to the point where we can deal with life's situations without shutting down. If I'm taking my beta blocker, I can breathe my way through a major presentation and just relieved that it's over; without meds, I am more likely to have a panic attack.

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I remember seeing the first episode of "Atlanta" Vanessa was shown in the first scene wearing a headscarf.  To me that was a nuance, because you rarely see black women on TV (or in the movies) wearing a headscarf to bed; another nuanced scene was from the movie "Creed" where he's taking his girlfriend's braids out.  Those scenes were shown as normal, not as anything strange or exotic.

I didn't realize how much I have absorbed in recent years about hair care until a couple of African-American colleagues were discussing things like their regular budgeting for a weekly hair-wash and style, or their refusal to get in the pool for fear of ruining the look, and I made reference to the satin cap or scarf for sleeping. One of my fellow "so-white-we-are-translucent" colleagues exclaimed 'how do you KNOW these things?" and I had to think about how I'd figured it out- the answer is Beth Pearson and many of the Shondaland ladies.

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I don't know why Kate didn't notice Toby's missing pill bottle from the medicine cabinet.  If I had a loved one on antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds or any other medication for that matter, I would certainly notice if the bottle was missing from the front of the cabinet.

If Toby has been consistently taking medication since before sharing a place with Kate, I could see her totally not paying attention to the bottles. I doubt my husband would have a clue if my pills were changed or gone, since he doesn't have to oversee my medication compliance. The bottles have been in the same place on the kitchen counter for years, but he wouldn't be able to articulate what is there and how many bottles there are.

[Superpole2000]

On 31/10/2018 at 1:29 PM, Kroliosis said:

I think I am the only one that took "it sounds exhausting" as a sarcastic eye roll worthy comment.  Here is a 60/70 year old woman who lived through the civil rights movement, possibly segregation and is the wife of a Vietnam Vet with one foot!  That woman has seen some shit and had a relationship tested!

I took it the same way, but I realized this show's writers may not have intended it like that.  They are a little more on the nose with their depictions of everything. Subtlety is seldom a part of this show.

This was the first Season 3 episode I enjoyed. There were flaws, but I liked some of what I saw. I really liked Beth getting emotional in her interview (happened to me once), but her leaving the interview was over the top. This is another example of the show hitting us over the head with something where subtlety would be more welcome. Have her voice change, show her getting emotional, but let her complete the interview like the strong character she is.

[Drumpf1737]

On 10/24/2018 at 12:12 AM, NUguy514 said:

Ugh, Kate...

Seriously, I can't with her anymore.  Take your self-aggrandizing, sad-sack bullshit and shove it.  No one asked for or cares about it.

ETA: Oh, and I totally got the conversation between Zoe and Charlie Robinson's wife.  As a gay man, I end up explaining many of the same things again and again to my straight friends and family members.  It really does get exhausting.

Haha I just tried to like this post again

[Morlock]

On 10/24/2018 at 12:59 PM, Suzy Rhapsody said:

So, I’m one of those viewers who doesn’t like Toby.  At all.  Not even a little bit.  I find him terribly annoying and trying as a person.  He should leave the constant comedy routine to Rodney Dangerfield where it belongs.

That annoys me about him too. He seems very pre-mediated all of the time. Whether it is trying to be Mr Fun Guy or Mr Sensitive, everything he does seems very fake. I think even the writers are losing interest in him.  

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 10/29/2018 at 2:37 PM, dreadfulLeigh said:

Even as a quick aside. I mean, you’re fat. You have to get fatter to make a baby. Then you might get fatter gestating the baby. It’s seems like a natural downward spiral for her. 

Actually,  obese women aren't supposed to gain weight when pregnant and can even lose weight if they start a healthy way of eating during the pregnancy:  https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/obesity

If Kate gains weight during her pregnancy while supposedly eating healthily and exercising moderately (e.g., taking walks) she is doing something wrong. 

That being said, this is a high risk pregnancy and I hope the baby doesn't suffer for it. 

On 10/27/2018 at 9:03 AM, icemiser69 said:

In general, I don't have a problem with a "very special Toby episode".  I just think building it around a dude that flushes pills when he knows he is going to go back on them later is lame.   Who does that?  Who flushes them?  Medications aren't cheap

He didn't want to be tempted to take them until Kate got pregnant and was afraid that if he started to feel lousy, he would. Which, of course,  would have been the best course of action.

On 10/29/2018 at 1:45 PM, topanga said:

I don’t know if Randall and Beth can sustain being unemployed for the long term, but it sounds like they were in the process of building wealth, not just being rich—also a Chris Rock bit. And they probably had one of the smaller homes in their development. Remember, their house only has 3 bedrooms plus Beth’s office. 

And which magically grew an additional bedroom when Deja moved in.

[Katy M]

6 hours ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

And which magically grew an additional bedroom when Deja moved in.

I thought Tessa and Annie now have to share a bedroom.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

I thought Tessa and Annie now have to share a bedroom.

Only when William lived there.  When Deja moved in, Tess and Annie were no longer sharing a room and a bed.

[lu1535]

I recently saw a commercial for the tv show Employable Me and I could have sworn Toby was in it. Am I seeing things?

[lu1535]

On 4/4/2019 at 6:45 AM, lu1535 said:

I recently saw a commercial for the tv show Employable Me and I could have sworn Toby was in it. Am I seeing things?

I'm quoting myself with an update. I finally found the trailer for the show with the "Toby" look alike. Does Chris Sullivan have a twin who can't get a job? I would love your opinion on the resemblance or a theory if it's him.

[JudyObscure]

On ‎3‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 12:25 AM, ItCouldBeWorse said:

He didn't want to be tempted to take them until Kate got pregnant and was afraid that if he started to feel lousy, he would. Which, of course,  would have been the best course of action.

That's how I saw it.  I know I couldn't have quit smoking if I had them in the house.  His prescription probably had several refills, but being a controlled substance, he wouldn't have been able to refill for thirty days, which was probably the time he needed.

[Higgins]

On 10/24/2018 at 8:07 AM, Empress1 said:

You better preach. As someone who has experienced both, being called the n-word feels like getting punched. Micro-aggressions feel like death by a thousand cuts. I've been called the n-word a handful of times, but I deal with micro-aggressions quite literally every single day. Those are the things white people don't notice (and perpetrate on the regular, frankly). If the store clerk had SAID "Get out of here, Black girl" or something, Kevin would've jumped on that, but that subtle "hmph" look the clerk gave Zoe would go right over his head if he'd been looking at her. "Maybe she was just having a bad day." "The line was long, I'm sure she was just trying to move it along."

I sleep on a satin pillowcase and tie my hair up with a satin scarf. The pillowcase is both in case the scarf falls off at night, and for my skin. Cotton is very drying. I would not expect Kevin to know that; I doubt Randall talks much about Beth's and his daughters' nighttime regimens. I felt TERRIBLE for teen Randall sitting alone on prom night. Why didn't his date go? Hasan Minhaj has a similar story in his (excellent) special Homecoming (in his, his date goes anyway, just not with him. He gets to her house to pick her up, there's a white date there, and her parents tell him he wouldn't look right in their pictures).

I'm surprised Randall didn't get booed. Philly folks are not known for their politeness.

Kate really needs to stop dragging people into her personal business. I can't stand her. Nobody cares about her issues besides her family, who are plenty supportive. Also, are we really pretending that singing is a viable career choice for 38-year-old Kate with that voice? She's fine. She's not "make it" good, especially at 38.

Randall said on his Howard visit that his school was all white - remember, they put him in private school. He does have Black friends as a kid - that family he befriended at the pool stays friends with him through his childhood. I THINK it's one of them that he visits at Howard, but I'm not sure.

Fat people deal with it too.