Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[peacheslatour]

I must say that when Noah was talking to Kevin today, he was very animated and frankly adorable.  I wish they would do  more with his character than just fawning over his parents.  Give the kid a life ffs.

[glowlights]

I must say that when Noah was talking to Kevin today, he was very animated and frankly adorable.  I wish they would do  more with his character than just fawning over his parents.  Give the kid a life ffs.

 

Yes!!! I have a shameful little crush on Noah and would love for him to have some real scenes, besides talking to his parents or kissing Policewoman Barbie.

[kia112]

I must say that when Noah was talking to Kevin today, he was very animated and frankly adorable.  I wish they would do  more with his character than just fawning over his parents.  Give the kid a life ffs.

 

Oh my gosh, yes!  When he said that Mariah was bossing him around after only being his sister for 10 minutes, he sounded like such a little brother.  It was adorable.  I rewatched that part about 4 times.

[peach]

I did not watch this. I FFd this because I don't have a fuck to give about Nick with his fawning children (except Mariah; I like CG). They actually said "hero gene". OMFG. I thought when you mentioned that in the daily thread, peach, that you had made it up.

 

unbelievable. 

Sad, but true!

[Petunia13]

Peach when I saw you made a post I assumed it was a recap and darn it I had a rough day at work and I need your snarky goodness. And if you're busy where's my other fave LeftP ? Waaaaah!

Also I concur Noah is cuter than shit and deserves story.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Petunia13

[crosby777]

 

I must say that when Noah was talking to Kevin today, he was very animated and frankly adorable.  I wish they would do  more with his character than just fawning over his parents.  Give the kid a life ffs

I don't know why they refuse to write a story for Noah. It does not make sense. He is the one Newman heir there are no scary paternity lies headed his way and yet they will not write for him. I think they should have brought him in as a younger man for Sharon. Not her son. I like the chemistry between the 2 actors.

[Canadian]

Thanks, Peach, for a really detailed recap.  As usual, there are at least 10 things that crack me up, but I just wanted to say that I love Mariah with that old fart.  She can really hold her own with him, and I only see that getting better all the time.  She is actually the best actress on the show right now (IMO) - I love her with Kevin and love her messing with Summer and Austin.  Maybe she's just such a refreshing change from the type they usually hire, but Phyllis is very different too, and I'm not finding this one refreshing.  Can't explain what's so captivating about Mariah, but I constantly look forward to seeing her with Victor - it's the only time I can tolerate him.  Can't wait till SHE tells him "Ya got that?" 

CG is an absolute treasure, she gives such spark to Mariah, this is a character that really livens up this show, she is gradually warming up to Sharon and is beginning to see what an awesome person her mother is...CG is the best addition to this show in years..

[movinon]

I don't know why they refuse to write a story for Noah. It does not make sense. He is the one Newman heir there are no scary paternity lies headed his way and yet they will not write for him. I think they should have brought him in as a younger man for Sharon. Not her son. I like the chemistry between the 2 actors.

I would never have thought of this as a possibility, but it is so interesting.  I know what you are saying - if only before Mariah, when there was just Faith and Summer (about 5 and 8), this could have been a great story.  Sharon can play really young,  Noah is adorable, but I don't know if he could have played old enough to pair with Sharon or not.  That said, the actor himself has amazing chemistry with Sharon Case, but it's impossible now, anyhow. I agree that this actor is being wasted with no story line and I've never liked him with Courtney.  I can see him with someone who looks like Jana, but without the crazy.  Maybe someday, he and Mariah can take Grampire down a peg or two.  

[glowlights]

 Maybe someday, he and Mariah can take Grampire down a peg or two.  

 

Ohhhh... please please please let this happen!!

 

They can write me in as Noah's love interest. I call dibs.

[peach]

Just checking in.  I'm swamped at work and busy pretty much day and night, of course, when The Secret From Hell is finally blown up and Adam's returning, but I haven't had a minute to keep up with it.  Staying away so I don't get spoiled.

[peach]

Just checking in.  I'm swamped at work and busy pretty much day and night, of course, when The Secret From Hell is finally blown up and Adam's returning, but I haven't had a minute to keep up with it.  Staying away so I don't get spoiled.

[movinon]

Just checking in.  I'm swamped at work and busy pretty much day and night, of course, when The Secret From Hell is finally blown up and Adam's returning, but I haven't had a minute to keep up with it.  Staying away so I don't get spoiled.

Missing you - hurry back!

[peach]

Mon, Nov 3     What's A Little More Insanity?

 

Sharon’s not in the mood for Phyllis, but she lets her in, instead of macing her.  Phyllis asks if it will be trick, or treat?  How about a kick in the shin?  “I really don’t have time for games today.  Nick and I are getting married,” Sharon says triumphantly.   And Phyllis is not going to ruin it this time.  Phyllis agrees that the last wedding didn’t turn out like anyone expected…but this time, it will end just the way it’s supposed to, she smirks.  Sharon squints.

 

Nick shows up at The Underground looking for Summer, to get his wedding gift.  Austin’s like, uhh, that’s news to me.  Summer’s not here, and she’s not planning to be.  Nick wonders where she could be.

 

Summer is at the ranch.  Victor’s like, this stupid little pink pony hairbrush is YOURS, and not Faith’s?  Duh, Grandpa.  He asks if she’s positive.  Grandpa, she just said DUH!  She’s like why do you have my hairbrush and why do you care who it belongs to?

 

Abby and Traci are at the club, and see Kelly coming in the door.  Abby has an inexplicable moment of pity for Kelly, probably because she’s been reacquainted with Phyllis today.  She says it’s hard not to feel bad for Kelly.  Her brother killed her dad, she lost her son, her marriage fell apart, and just when she was finding happiness again with Jack, PHYLLIS showed up to add more misery to her life.  Traci has a feeling Phyllis will not be successful.

 

Kelly seems to have the same feeling.  She’s gushy with Jack on the phone, thinking about their last kiss in his office.  Jack’s been thinking about it, too.  Kelly knows he has a lot to sort out with Phyllis, but now that she knows how he feels about her, she will be waiting.  Jack’s looks up the stairs, and says he has to call her back before he gets his throat torn out.  Kelly says she loves Jack, and Jack says he loves her, too.

 

False alarm, it wasn’t the devil woman up the stairs, it was just dumb Billy.  Whew!  Jack wipes his forehead.  Phyllis said she was going to come back and rest, by which she meant go to Sharon’s and cause shit for Shick.  They both foolishly assume she’s sleeping upstairs.  Billy’s just getting a box of his stuff to take to Chelsea’s.  Jack’s like, wow!  He didn’t know it had gotten that serious. 

 

Billy says he’s never too serious about anything, but he’s happy.  He thinks moving in with Adam’s widow is the best decision he’s made in a long time.  Everything’s relative, I suppose.  Billy asks if Jack’s still lost in his own personal Bermuda love triangle?  Actually, Jack has made a decision, too. 

 

Noah stops in Crimson Lights to pick up some coffee and cupcakes. He’s curious about Kevin banging away on his laptop, who says it’s just a little something he believes in.  Noah says it must be nice to have something to believe in.  “Are you feeling lost, young Noah?  Directionless?”  Noah thinks maybe, yeah, he is.  They won’t give him a storyline.  Who knows WHERE he is going?

 

Kevin won’t share what he’s writing, but it’s SPECIAL, and it’s NOT READY, and he’s tired of people asking him questions about it, like Mariah was just doing.  Noah cutely gripes about how Mariah’s been his sister for all of ten minutes and is already bossing him around.  He guesses he should be glad that she’s helping with the wedding and not sabotaging it.  Kevin agrees, there are enough people who want to stop this wedding.  Noah says maybe with Mariah on their side, nothing’s going to stop Shick from getting married.  Word.  Mariah will defend the kingdom!

 

Nick can’t get a hold of Summer.  Austin says she’s probably out doing something [expensive] crazy for the gift.  He didn’t think she was giving it to him today, though.  Nick says he did invite Summer to the wedding.  Austin knows, but he assumes Nick knows why she isn’t coming.  Well, duh, Phyllis is a bitch.  Austin says they want to take Shick out to celebrate.  Shick's been great to Summer and Austin, and they want to show how much they appreciate it.  Nick knows what it’s like when [Phyllis] people don’t want you together.    Austin’s just glad that Nick gave him a chance.  Hey, Nick wouldn’t turn his back on Summer after she forgave him for this paternity test trickery.  Because that's something a person should FORGIVE, right, Nick?

 

Victor keeps pestering Summer if she’s sure it’s her hairbrush.  Yeah, she left it at Sharon’s when she was babysitting Faith.  Ownership of the hairbrush is all Victor needs to know.  “There’s something I have to tell you.”

 

Phyllis tells Sharon to relax, she’s not there to cause trouble.  Sharon’s like, um, you live to cause me trouble.  “Nooo, I live to live.  Sometimes you’re just in the way.”  That may be the most honest thing Phyllis has ever said.  She claims that she’s been enlisted to take Sharon to the wedding.  And that may be the worst lie she’s ever told.  Phyllis insists that Nick wants to surprise Sharon with the big wedding she wanted, and she’s there to deliver her, while ruining the surprise.  Sharon doesn’t know which is more unlikely, that Nick would ask Phyllis to bring her to their wedding, or that Phyllis would agree.  “So spill it, Phyllis, what are you really up to?”

 

Jack tells Billy the big decision is that he’s going to tell Phyllis that he and Kelly are involved.  “Nice euphemism,” smirks Billy.  Jack doesn’t think all the details about hot sex are necessary.  Billy asks if Jack is prepared for the fallout, and might he suggest full body armor?  Jack insists he’s got to get it all out in the open.  She already suspects he’s hiding something, and she’s pushing everyone to find out.  Jack says he hates deceiving her, and he hates that everyone who knows about Kelly is forced to lie about it. 

 

Billy surmises that Kelly mustn’t have been too thrilled about being passed off as his mistress.  “Kelly has been AMAZING through all this,” says Jack.  He’s going to tell Phyllis the TRUTH.  He waited for MONTHS, dammit, and he held out hope longer than the doctors did, or than Phyllis ever would, that's for damn sure.  And someone walked into his life and became important to him.  Billy’s like, well, she’s gonna want to know who you want to be with?  What are you going to say?

 

Kelly greets Abby and Traci.  Traci asks how she’s doing.  Well, she is doing FANTASTIC.   Abby thinks that’s surprising, considering Phyllis is back, just sayin.’  After the entrance Hurricane Phyllis made, it would have made her crazy.  Kelly agrees that it did, but yesterday she and Jack clarified things and she feels better.  OMG, loose lips sink ships, Kelly!!!  Abby thinks that’s interesting, as in stupid, because Uncle Jack was just there with Phyllis and Summer acting like one big, happy family, so maybe Kelly misunderstood what he said.  Kelly looks worried.

 

Noah gets ready to leave for the wedding.  Kevin says the last one was pretty good, right until the end.  Noah says he’ll probably lock the door at the justice of the peace.  Kevin says good luck, and say hi to Mariah.   Ohh, “say hi to Mariah??”  Noah says she’d probably throw something at his head.  Kevin fondly says she IS something, all right.  Noah grins and asks if he has a thing for Mariah.  Kevin’s all, nooo, me?  They’re FRIENDS, that’s all.   Noah says that’s too bad, because he can see it.  Kevin’s like, really??  He acts kind of embarrassed and thinks about it.  So maybe he’s not gay yet.

 

Victor gives Summer a little speech about how she’s always been a Newman to him.  Sure, he got mad when Jack Abbott wanted to turn her against them, but he was never mad at her.  Summer says she loves both of her super rich families.  Victor hugs her.  Blah blah.  Summer’s in a good place now.  She and Austin are happy, she’s close to Nick, Phyllis is home, and she finally thinks of Jack as her dad.  But she’ll always be a Newman, says Victor.  Who cares?

 

Phyllis uses her sneer speak to say “I don’t know why I bother.  You are the same old, paranoid, insecure Sharon.”  Ugh, GTFO of her cottage.  Sharon’s like, puh-leeze.  Phyllis has always been the one threatened by HER, and terrified that Nick would turn to her, and now he has.  And now she’s going to drive her to the wedding??  Right.  Phyllis tells Sharon how it was her on the phone with Nick earlier.  He was all crazed trying to get this wedding pulled off.  And because PHYLLIS NEWMAN felt so bad about what happened at the last wedding, she wanted to make it up to him and help him out. 

 

“What I did was selfish and hurtful,” says Phyllis.  And a lot of people who love her are very upset with her.  Sharon’s like, so you want to make it up to THEM, not me.  That’s it.  She saw an opportunity to make it up to her loved ones, so she grabbed it.  Sharon thinks THAT sounds believable.  Oh, Sharon.  Great, Phyllis wants to get going, because she doesn’t want to get blamed for screwing up this wedding, too.  Sharon says not so fast.  She wants to call Nick first.  “No!” says Phyllis.  “You can’t do that.”

 

Traci keeps trying to apologize for Abby, but she isn’t having it.  She thinks Kelly should know that Awake Phyllis is a much different animal than Comatose Phyllis.  Kelly figured that out.  But she’s not going to get in the way of Jack spending time with his daughter.  Blah child bond blah.  Abby says but this mother lioness has claws and she won’t hesitate to scratch your eyes out with them.  Kelly jokes that she’ll wear protective goggles, and Abby quizzically smiles, like, wow, you’re so going to die. 

 

Kelly says just because Jack is spending time with Summer that doesn’t mean things are going back to the way they were with Phyllis.  Abby’s like, Kelly, what exactly did Jack say to make you feel so confident?  Oh, that’s just Kelly.  Traci says it’s none of their business!   Abby says she’s just curious because Phyllis is not going to let go of Jack that easily.  “Well, neither am I,” says Kelly, who rolls her eyes and walks away.

 

Meanwhile, Jack is telling Billy he has no idea what he’ll tell Phyllis about who he wants to be with.  Billy says he better figure it out, since Phyllis doesn’t play well with others, especially if they’re after her man/men.  That’s one of the things Jack loves about her…she’s fiercely [jealous] loyal, mostly to Nick.  Billy says they’ve been through a lot together.  Jack rationalizes the past with how they were destined to be together, and it seemed like the more they failed, the more they fell in love.  Yeah, it was just like that.

 

It seemed like they were finally going to get it right and get married, and then The Accident.  Enter Kelly.  “Damaged, broken, just like me.  I saw the hurt, the pain, and I understood it.”  He thought if he held her long enough, their pain would go away. He never expected to fall in love with a person he deeply understood and had hot sex with.  Billy knows what it’s like when love catches you by surprise, especially when you thought you could never look at another woman again, but sometimes, after five long minutes, you find someone.  Someone you're already sleeping with.  Jack knows Billy still loves Victoria…is it possible to love two women at the same time?  Billy says buy you can’t BE WITH both of them.  You have to choose, like Billy has. 

 

Victor’s not sure he can give Summer any reassurance about her crazy ass mother.  They agree she’s been through a lot, but she’ll deal with it in some terrifying manner, so don’t worry.  She leaves.  Victor reads the DNA results AGAIN.

 

Nick still can’t reach Summer.  Austin says she’s probably just getting some custom, expensive gift wrap.  Nick’s gotta get out of there, he can’t be late to his own wedding!  Austin still thinks it’s weird that she sent that text, but they’ll figure it out later.

 

Phyllis doesn’t want Sharon to spoil Nick’s surprise by calling him and asking questions.  Blah blah, Sharon implausibly agrees to go.  Phyllis looks out the door and gets even more irritated because the cab she supposedly had waiting for her is gone.  So they need to take Sharon’s car.  Sharon says “This whole thing’s so insane.  What’s a little more insanity?”  Famous last words.  Then Phyllis demands to drive, since she knows where they’re going, in this sprawling metropolis.  And Sharon agrees again.  Right.  Let your worst enemy, who is recovering from a coma, drive you around in your own car, on your wedding day to her personal obsession.  When was the last time Phyllis even drove a car?  Phyllis does a little “yeah” gesture as she follows Sharon out. 

 

Traci approaches Kelly and apologizes for obnoxious Abby.  Kelly laughs it off.  That’s just Abby, and Kelly appreciates the direct approach these days.   And Traci is so kind and generous.  Traci gets Kelly because they both suffered the loss of a child, and she knows it’s hard to let someone in again.  Kelly gets weepy.  Traci says to give Jack some time.  Kelly asks if she thinks they still have a future.  “Honestly, I don’t think there’s anyone who can answer that question right now.”  Even Traci knows the writers get lost in this stuff.  NOT the answer Kelly was hoping for.

 

Billy wishes he had a crystal ball to help Jack out.  Jack says hopefully, once he tells Phyllis about Kelly, he’ll have a better idea of what his future is going to be.  Yeah, leave it up to Phyllis.  He admits he doesn’t need a crystal ball to know what her first reaction is going to be.  Once the dust settles, he can finally have an open, honest conversation with her about another woman.  “If you’re still alive,” says Billy, “give me a call.  I’d like to hear how that went.”  Seriously, Billy hopes he gets the answers he’s looking for.  One thing is for sure, JACK CAN’T GO ON LIKE THIS!!!

 

Summer shows up at The Underground where Austin tells her about the text to Nick.  She’s like, I don’t even have his gift yet, and I wouldn’t ask him to come here before the wedding.  Weird!  Oh, well!!

 

Nick gets home.  Nobody’s there.  He frowns in confusion.  What could be happening?

 

Phyllis runs ahead of Sharon at the GC ballroom so she can pretend the elevator doesn’t work.  She says, you don’t have a problem with the STAIRS, do you?  Heck, no.  Let’s go.

 

Billy runs into Abby and Traci in the club lobby.  He’s just picking up some takeout at a hotel.  “Oh, for you and your new roomie?” snarks Abby.  Yeah, Victoria TOLD her he’s living with Chelsea.  He asks if she also told her he prefers boxers over briefs?  Since she’s so interested in the details of his personal life.  She’s like you couldn’t wait until you found out if you’re having a baby with Victoria?  “Seriously, Billy, how do you always manage to make the wrong choice?”  He says it’s a gift.  And thanks for ALWAYS sharing her thoughts.  She mean girl squints at him and goes to the spa.

 

Billy sits with Kelly at the bar.  He asks how running into Abby was on a scale of “somewhat pleasant” to “unbelievably annoying?”  Kelly says it ran the gamut, and Abby thinks challenging Phyllis for Jack’s affections is pointless.  Billy says Abby has a lot of opinions about things that don’t concern her.  Hopefully Traci was nice.  Duh.  Kelly says she was sweet, and maddeningly neutral.  Billy says she’s their Switzerland.  Okay, well then it’s up to Billy to be straight with her.  Should she fight for Jack?  Wow, that’s pretty desperate getting advice from Overwhelmingly Stupid Billy.

 

Austin asks if Summer got her mom to accept their marriage.  She says she was just too distracted with some other drama to care.  Summer gets flirty with masks and letting him know about her very minimal costume back at the apartment.  Kissy kissy.

 

Victor is more thorough than I gave him credit for, because he calls Dr. J in Sweden and confirms that there was only one person’s DNA on the hairbrush.   “My God.  It is you, my darling Summer, that Sharon lied about.”  He actually looks really bummed out about it.

 

Phyllis takes Sharon up to the top of the stairwell.  Her eyes get big.  OMG!!  CREAMY NUDE!!!  Phyllis notices her starting to freak out.  She asks if she’s SURE she doesn’t have a problem with the stairs?  No, no, of course not.  She just wants to get to the wedding and see Nick.  So why isn’t Phyllis moving?  “I lied,” scary whispers Phyllis.  WHAT? says Sharon.  Yeah, WHAT A HUGE SURPRISE.  “I lied.  Nick isn’t here.  No one is.”  "I knew it! cries Sharon.  I knew I shouldn’t have trusted a WORD out of your mouth!"  “But you did,” says Phyllis, with her alien demon eyes.  “And here we are.  Just the two of us.  Again.” 

 

Kelly says when Phyllis was in the hospital, she moved out.  She wanted to give her the respect and time and space to recover.  Uh, no, it was because you thought Jack was going to break up with you anyway.  But she tells Billy it started to feel like she was just…giving up.  And it reminded her of how she felt after Sam died.  Bad.  She doesn't want to be that person.

 

Billy says she wants to be that fighter he met in the support group, the one that cried all the time and hung around him inappropriately.  Yeah, so she told Jack to make a choice, and she thought he’d chosen her.  Billy asks if now she’s not so sure? Kelly says maybe she’s just fooling herself.  So she needs him to tell her.  Does he think she has a chance with Jack?   “A [clinger] fighter like you?” says Billy.  “Absolutely.”  Actually, Billy was pretty nice to her.  This idiot is growing on me.

 

Summer and Austin goof around with their masks.  Selfie time!  Omg, her phone is gone!

 

Noah shows up at the cottage.  Where’s Sharon?  She’s not with you?  Wait, she’s not with YOU??

 

Sharon stammers and stutters about not remembering being there with Phyllis.  “Oh, I think you do, Sharon.  Think back to the night of Nikki’s charity event, the night you followed me here?”  Sharon’s like, hmm, doesn’t ring a bell.  She insists she doesn’t remember.  Phyllis insists it’s RIGHT THERE, the memory she’s blocking out.  Sharon says she WANTS to remember.  “No, you don’t,” says Phyllis.  But it’s time for her to own up to what she did.    “FACE IT, SHARON!  FACE what happened that night, right here in this stairwell!”  Sharon flashes back to chasing Phyllis up the stairs.  “Phyllis! Please, we need to talk!”  “What would you like to talk about?” snaps Phyllis.  “How you played God with so many lives?  A God who sacrificed a young woman, just as she’s starting out??  Her whole future ahead of her?”  Omg, exaggerate much?  She sacrificed her right into the Barbie Townhouse, not a volcano.

 

Sharon almost gags on the memory.  “I remember!” she gasps.

[glowlights]

“How you played God with so many lives?  A God who sacrificed a young woman, just as she’s starting out??  Her whole future ahead of her?”  Omg, exaggerate much?  She sacrificed her right into the Barbie Townhouse, not a volcano.

 

Ha! I know, right!?!?! When she said "a god who sacrificed a young woman" I had to pause and rewind to figure out what the hell was going on. Alas, I did not miss a fantastic human sacrifice storyline, just GT reciting from an awful script. (But can we throw Summer into a volcano, anyway?)

[peach]

Tue, Nov 4      Payback

 

Phyllis is still standing at the top of the stairwell, gnashing her teeth and telling Sharon to FACE IT!  Again with sacrificing Summer to a horrible life as an Abbott-Newman hybrid.  “I remember!” cries Sharon.  “Remember what?” snaps Phyllis.  “Say the words.”  Sharon looks terrified.

 

Nick and Noah try to figure out where Sharon is, maybe she’s with Mariah, maybe she’s waiting at the justice of the peace.  It’s dark now, so I guess the GC courts have the same special Friday night hours as the doctors and labs do.  Mariah and Faith get home.  No Sharon.

 

I forgot to mention yesterday that Victor showed up at Jack’s over an important family matter.  Jack asks how is that possible?  No one in Victor’s family lives there.  Look, Victor says it’s urgent, and he needs to see Phyllis.  And stir up what kind of trouble, asks Jack.  “For your information, Jack, trouble is already here, not of my making.  I’m here to con-trol the problem.”  Jack laughs.  He will not let Victor disrupt his family.  He saw how he treated precious Adam like a pawn, he’ll be damned if he’ll let him do the same thing to Summer. 

 

Victor insists he’s there for the love of his granddaughter.  “MY.DAUGHTER.” says Jack.  Over a year ago, everyone learned that Nick was not her father, but Victor still hasn’t grasped that Summer is no relation to him whatsoever.   “SHE WAS RAISED AS A NEWMAN, JACK!”  “Does that give you the right to use her?”  HELP HER!   “USE HER!”  Duck Season!  Rabbit Season!  He already tricked her into signing the consent form to experiment on Phyllis, a new low even for him.  Victor can assure him that Phyllis doesn’t share his outrage.  He needs to see her.

 

Lily’s wearing a skin tight red dress, but it’s cute.  She looks really pretty today.   Cane flirts with her because for some reason THIS couple gets to be happy.   Blah blah, she KNOWS Hilary is pregnant.  She asks why Cane is so sure she’s not.  Does he know something she doesn’t?  Haaa haa, says Cane nervously.  Lily just wants Hilary to know she accepts her as a permanent fixture in her dad’s life.  

 

In come Neil and Hilary.  He says they know Lily’s gone above and beyond to stop being such a shrew.   Blah blah.  Lily finally flat out asks if Hilary is preggers.  Nope.  Not YET, says Neil.  Aww, Lily’s bummed.  She was so sure, dangit.  Neil says they are both EAGER to start trying to make a new baby.  Devon walks in and hears.  Waaah.

 

Dylan’s all in a state because he can’t get a hold of anyone behind this real estate deal that’s going to ruin his life.  He found the name of the conglomerate that apparently isn’t run by humans.  Avery thinks he’s luck to be dating an attorney with lots of connections.  She will find someone in that conglomerate to speak with.  Dylan asks if this is even legal.  Avery is afraid so.  People do buy buildings.  Joe Clark walks in.  Joe Clark.  Clark Kent.  Coincidence?  I think not.  He’s there to see Avery.  He has something that belongs to her.  Avery looks up at him like she’s hypnotized by Dracula.

 

Can we get back to Sharon, please??  No, we cannot.  Joe gives Avery a super special engraved bookmark she left behind all those years ago.  It says “There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.”  Joe claims he just slipped into his daybook, and days turned into years.  So now that they’re coincidentally seeing each other, he thought he’d give it back to her.  “And now you have,” chirps Dylan, but it doesn’t even dent the cosmic connection between Joe and Avery.  It’s like he’s not even there.  Avery says thank you, and Joe takes his leave.  Dylan’s like what’s so special about the damn bookmark.  It was a wedding gift, says moony Avery.

 

Victor comes in and says it should be up to Phyllis whether or not to see him.  Sure, but Phyllis is resting right now, at the top of a stairwell.  “Jack, I’m telling you this is very important, K?”  Jack’s like, you already subjected her to a dangerous experimental drug, risking her life.  And if he hadn’t, she’d still be in a coma!  Are we supposed to THANK you for that, Victor?  Victor demands Jack STOP THIS NONSENSE and tell Phyllis he wants to speak with her!  Jack asks if this is about some mythical info he thinks she has on Sharon.  Victor thinks he’s discovered with Phyllis knows.  “And if I’m right, it will have profound consequences for a lot of people.  Including you.”

 

Mariah says Faith is putting on a brave face, but she can tell Faith is worried that the wedding isn’t happening.  “Oh, it’s happening!” declares Nick.  Mariah says she has a car full of flowers, but no Sharon.  She’s not surprised.  Noah’s like what’s that supposed to mean.  Realist Mariah says it wouldn’t be the first time Sharon got a case of cold feet and ran out of a wedding.  Noah asks why she would even say that!  Mariah says it didn’t sound as mean in her head!  She’s just trying to figure out why Sharon is MIA.  It’s not CRAZY to think she got cold feet!  “In the last hour??” asks Nick.  Sharon couldn’t wait to get married.   Mariah and Noah start sibling bickering.  Dad has to make them stop.  Mariah says they can’t ignore that Sharon’s been freaked for a few days.  Nick blames the psychic for that.  Nick TOLD Sharon, NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE HIS MIND. 

 

Sharon stares at Phyllis.  “We were arguing about Summer,” she says and flashes back to their graveyard argument.  “She still has her future,” says Sharon.  “NOT the one she wants!” barks Phyllis.  “Look what you did to Jack!”  She’s completely jeopardized his sobriety!  Sharon’s like, he has YOU for that, and now he has a daughter!  It’s a win!  “NICK’S DAUGHTER!  Summer is Nick’s daughter!” snarls the closeup of Phyllis’s mouth.  Sharon jumps in the present.  “We were arguing about Summer, all right,” says Phyllis.  ‘And you remember about what, don’t you?” 

 

Sharon looks confused.  It doesn’t make sense.  Phyllis was saying Summer is Nick’s daughter?  “Summer IS Nick’s daughter, yes!  And you knew it all along.”  They argue.  Phyllis says she heard Sharon admit it that night in the cemetery.  She was talking to Cassie.  FLASHBACK!  Sharon’s talking to Cassie’s grave.  “What I did was set things right.  The way they were meant to be.  Summer should have been Jack’s daughter in the first place.  If she had been, Nick never would have married Phyllis.”  Sharon looks horrified.  “YOU DID THIS, SHARON.  You’re the reason Nick lost his daughter!!”  Phyllis sounds like an impossibly mean headmistress that tortures children.

 

The Winters eat dinner.  Hilary doesn’t eat, as usual, because these people make her sick.  Blah blah blah family playfulness.  Lily was a rebellious teen.  Hardee har har.  But Neil loved being her father, and Devon’s, too.  He asks Hilary if she wants to have a girl or a boy.  “This is just…already more family than I could ever imagine,” she says.  Devon acts like a punk.

 

Jack says if Victor already knows this information, why bother Phyllis?  He needs to confirm it!  Jack’s like, why, so you can use it against Shick?  He’ll do ANYTHING he can to keep Nicholas away from Sharon including hiring a lookalike of her dead daughter.  “I took necessary steps, Jack.”   Jack asks if there’s any lengths he WON’T go to control everyone around him?  “Know what is stunning?” asks Victor.  “You stand here before me, and you have the AUDACITY to pretend you’re the moral beacon.  You abandoned your fiancée.”  HE DID NOT!  Like having a girlfriend equals Machiavellian tactics.  Victor says, “You left her languishing in that clinic, whilst you were cavorting with your brother’s mistress!”  Jack explodes.  “WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT?”

 

Nick says there has to be some reason Sharon would take off.  “There’s one big, bad reason I can think of, but you’re not gonna like it,” says Mariah.  VICTOR.  Noah says he was just there harassing Mom.   Nick says Sharon was more ready than ever.  But maybe he came back!  “And said WHAT?” asks Nick.  Noah thinks they should just go look for her…somewhere? 

 

Mariah finds a clue!  Sharon left her earring on the sofa!  OMG, that’s not Sharon’s earring!  Nick bought that earring for PHYLLIS years ago!  It must have fallen out of a chandelier!  “What was Phyllis doing here?” asks Mariah.  Taking off one earring, apparently.   Nick doesn’t know, but he’s going to find out!!!

 

Sharon tells Phyllis she LOVES Nick.  She would never hurt him.  “You hurt Nick, in the worst way possible.  Somehow you magically changed the DNA results to make Nick believe Summer WASN’T his daughter.”  No! says Sharon.  But she has a FLASHBACK!  She’s outside the diagnostic lab, weeping, and goes inside. 

 

“Ohhh, no,” says Sharon.  “YOU DID THIS, Sharon.  You were going to let Nick live the rest of his life believing that horrible lie!  You were going to go on letting him grieve the loss of another daughter.  I had to tell him the truth!”  And I tried to stop you, says Sharon.  She looks slowly around the stairwell. 

 

FLASHBACK!  Phyllis is in the stairwell and says “You cannot bear the thought that your precious Nick sees you for the whack job you really are.  Now GET OUT of my way, you demented BITCH!!!”  You’re gonna have to make me, whispers Sharon.  Oh, it’s on!  Phyllis grabs her phone out of her gold clutch.  Sharon snatches it out of her hand!  Phyllis snatches it back…and goes tumbling down the stairs!!  Sharon watches her lie motionless on the floor.

 

“STOP me?” demands Phyllis.  “You tried to KILL ME!”  Bitch, please, we just saw the whole thing.  “You pushed me down the stairs!” lies Phyllis.  Sharon stares at her like she didn’t do a good enough job.

 

Ugh, Dylan complains about Joe.  He wants SOMETHING, giving her reminders from their past.  No, it was a gift from her father, to mark the next chapter of her life.  Her dad said Joe was lucky because Avery was the most loyal person ever, but she’s really just a cheater.  Waah.  Blah blah, she was also dumb enough to stand by her criminal dad blah blah.  Joe doesn’t know anything about her dad betraying her, he was just trying to be nice.  Nice and tall.   Avery tells Dylan it doesn’t have the same meaning it did…so she throws it in the trash.  You can tell she didn’t really want to.

 

Colin bothers Joe.  Land deals.  Cane interrupts and asks why Colin’s suddenly so interested in Joe’s business.  WHO CARES?

 

Jack tells Victor he has a right to hear this “important info.”  Nick comes barging in.  Where’s Phyllis??  “Good luck, son.  Jack here has appointed himself the guard dog and won’t let anyone speak with her.”  He’s a terrible guard dog.  Nick says it can’t wait.  He’s supposed to be getting married right now!  But he can’t find Sharon and he needs to talk to Phyllis!  Jack’s like, Phyllis hates Sharon, do you really think she knows where she is?  Look, Phyllis was trying to tell Nick something, but he hung up on her!  He thinks she went to his place to finish the conversation and upset Sharon!  Victor asks what he thinks Phyllis wanted to talk about? Nick DOESN’T CARE about the damn secret, he just wants to make sure Sharon is okay!

 

Sharon finally snaps out of it, and advances on Phyllis on the landing.  “I didn’t PUSH you.  You FELL.”  Phyllis snarls that Sharon would say anything to avoid taking responsiBILITY!  That’s WHAT HAPPENED, says Sharon.  Phyllis shouts that not only did Sharon try to kill her, she DEVASTATED Nick and Summer with her lies.  And Jack! She made him believe he missed out on raising his daughter!  Sharon says she never set out to hurt anybody.  Phyllis says that’s the biggest lie of all.  “ALL of our lives have been turned upside down because of your OBSESSION WITH NICK!!”  Takes one to know one. 

 

“Nick LOVES me!  And I love him!” says Sharon.  Phyllis says she didn’t want her sister or anyone, including her kid, standing in the way of getting Nick back.  Sharon tells her she was off her meds then and not in her right mind.  “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM!” screams Phyllis.  “I am the one who spent over a year in a COMA.”  That is not because Sharon planned it that way.  It just HAPPENED.  “Because you HAPPENED to be INSANE that day?”  Pretty much!!  Phyllis says Sharon isn’t getting it.  Does she have any idea what it’s like to wake up and find out a year of your life was gone?  Okay, Sharon feels kind of bad about that. 

 

Phyllis gets weepy about how awful it was to miss her daughter’s wedding.  Sharon inadvisedly says she is sorry she was there for her that day instead of Phyllis.  “It should have been ME getting my daughter ready for her special day” I said I would never allow to happen!  Instead, the woman who put her in that hospital bed was there.  She cheated Phyllis out of all those memories and all that time.  Sharon realizes why they are there, “at the scene of the crime.”  “You want payback, don’t you?”  “You bet your ass I do,” says Phyllis.  Sharon stares into those alien demon eyes and looks genuinely terrified.

 

Special connections Avery gets a hold of the name of the broker.  WHAT?  Joe Clark is the one brokering the deal!  Dylan is incensed.  “Your ex is trying to put me out of business!”  No, he’s trying to put the whole BLOCK out of business, reasons Avery.  Is that supposed to make Dylan feel better??  She says it’s a BUSINESS deal, it’s nothing personal. The heck it isn't.  Dylan says the guy comes in there to get under his skin, and brings her a personal gift??  It’s personal!  And it’s gonna get a lot MORE personal! 

 

Dumbass Dylan’s going to go find him!  There’s only one way to handle a guy like Joe!  That’s right, says Avery, through his BANK ACCOUNT.  She’s like do you really think he’s going to respond to a punch in the face?  No, but it will sure make Dylan feel like it's getting him somewhere.  She’s like, yeah, in jail.   Again.  Avery says they need to threaten Joe with LEGAL ACTION that costs him money.  If he doesn’t make a profit, he will walk away!  Dylan says okay, okay, he’ll be smart about it.  Avery says she will get their coats and they can go home and talk about this calmly and smartly.  Sure.  She leaves the room, and caveman Dylan runs out the door to go assault Joe.  She chases him.

 

Cane and Colin and Joe blahblahblah.   Colin says that Cane hasn’t gotten over the fact that international business icon, Victor Newman, pulled that coup at his own company, Newman-Chancellor.  If Joe wants to talk bizness, give Colin a call.  He leaves.  Cane says he wouldn’t make that call. His father is a bad investment.  Joe says Colin is right.  Australian grifter Cane should be heading up a Fortune 500 instead of some Ivy League MBA.  Instead he’s running a HOTEL.  “That thing with Victor Newman really messed with your confidence, didn’t it?”

 

Nick pleads with Jack.  Phyllis already ruined one of his weddings, don’t let her do it again!  He knows Jack doesn’t want to hurt Sharon, so do it for her! Okay, okay.  He’ll go see if Phyllis will come down.  “In the meantime, please ask your father to leave my home!  I will not allow him to interrogate Phyllis.”  He leaves.

 

Nick doesn’t suppose it will do any good to ask Victor to leave.  Victor has a sneaking suspicion that Phyllis isn’t even there.  He pulls the DNA results out of his jacket and hands them to Nick.  “What’s this?” asks Nick.  It’s the TRUTH.  Nick seems mystified by a form that everyone in town must have seen half a dozen times.  Victor admits it’s a DNA test.  Nick is Subject A.  Summer is Subject B.  HE’S Summer’s father. 

 

Nick is stunned.  He thinks Victor manipulated it.  “No, son, I didn’t manipulate a damnthing.  But the woman you’re about to marry…manipulated the test a year ago. And I have a strong suspicion she pushed Phyllis down the stairs.”  THAT’S THE SECRET!!!  Nick is falling apart.  That’s impossible!  Sharon wouldn’t do something like this!!  “She would, and she did.”  Nick’s not believing that!  Jack comes down.  Phyllis isn’t in her room.  He’s like WTF is going on with you two?

 

Phyllis says Sharon played it smart. Her secret was safe in the mind of someone who might never wake up.  If it weren’t for Victor, she would have gotten away with all of it.  She would’ve married Nick, and he would’ve never had a clue that Summer was his daughter.  “But you did wake up!” says Sharon.  Yeah, and she thinks it’s about time for SHARON to wake up!  She is going to see to it that her sick, little fantasy game comes crashing down all around her.   Nick needs to hear the truth!  Sharon begs, no, no, Nick needs to hear it from HER.   He needs to know how sorry she is!  “You haven’t even BEGUN to be sorry!”

 

Jack asks what that incriminating piece of paper is.  Nick grabs it up and says it’s nothing.  Jack says he’s not acting like it’s nothing.  Jack asks if he’s really this upset about Sharon.  Nick asks if when he found out about Summer, did he have his OWN paternity test done?  No, says Sucker Jack.  There was no point.  There were only two options.  If Nick wasn’t the father, then he was, RIGHT?  Victor gets off the phone and says Phyllis and Sharon are together.  He had someone following her.  They’re at the GC Ballroom.  “Where Phyllis had her accident!” exclaims Jack.  “You bet.  Where she had her (air quotes) ‘accident.’”  Nick is freaking out.  They all leave.

 

Cane and Joe blah blah blah.  Cane loves his life.  Joe could use a guy like Cane on his team. Cane says he would be lying if he didn’t tell him he missed the rush of closing a corporate deal.  Joe asks if the opportunity presented itself, would he consider diving back in?  He just might. Anything to get away from Devon and Hilary.

 

Lily quizzes Devon about his mystery lady.  They all join in questioning his secretive dating life.  Discreet Devon says this woman is special.  Hilary cuts him a glare.  Devon thinks he’s being cute, instead of disgusting, about his amazing love life.  Hilary asks if Lily will take Neil home so she swing by the office and finish a project.  She’s probably going to be LATE.    She pretends to leave and Devon jiggles around like he’s about to get some cotton candy.

 

Mariah tells Noah that Sharon’s been so twisted up about hurting Nick she even has nightmares about it. She heard Sharon muttering in her sleep about Nick not being the father, and Victor thought it might be about Faith.  He’s like hold up, you TOLD MY GRANDFATHER about Mom’s nightmares?  Mariah says it’s not that big of a deal.  Noah says he thought she was DONE messing with Sharon’s head!  She IS.

 

This all happened weeks ago, when all the crap went down with Ian, and she just wanted to get the hell out of town.   Victor offered to help her with that.  “By paying you to SPY, is that right?” asks Noah.  He says that was a waste of time and money because all the business with Faith was settled years ago!  It’s just another example of Grandpa not letting go.  Mariah feels bad.

 

Sharon begs Phyllis to let HER break the news to Nick!  “What are you gonna say, Sharon, that your ILLNESS made you do it?”  “IT DID!” cries Sharon.  “YOU THINK THAT EXCUSE IS GOING TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER WITH NICK?  You are dead wrong!  He is going to HATE you, FOREVER.  There is NO coming back from this!  He’s going to hate you forever, and I’m going to make sure of it!”  It’s déjà vu all over again.  Phyllis grabs her phone out of her purse!  Sharon and Phyllis struggle over it!

 

Hilary meets Devon in the hallway of the his suite.  He says it was torture sitting down there listening to Neil talk about his future.  Poor Devon.  Hilary thinks it was torture to listen to him talk about how special his lady is.  He was just being honest, he says.  She finds that ironic since they’re such big liars.  He opens the door.  Is she having second thoughts?  “Would I be here if I was?” she asks and they kiss in THE HALLWAY in the least thrilling affair of ALL TIME.  She looks like they’re going to study for an algebra exam, while COLIN comes around the corner and happens to see this boring tryst.  He’s like, huh.

 

Avery chases Dylan into the club.  He asks for Joe Clark’s room number, which I assume they would never give him, but Joe hears him from the bar.  “Someone looking for me?”  Dylan rushes up and punches him the jaw!  KAPOW! Avery’s mouth hangs open.  Joe rubs his jaw and thinks about how many ways he’s going to ruin Dylan’s life.

 

Mariah can’t reach Sharon.  Noah can’t reach Nick.  They worry.  

 

Sharon and Phyllis are having an old-fashioned, hair-pulling cat fight over that cell phone!  Sharon wins!  She tries to run away instead of smashing it on the stairs.  Phyllis grabs Sharon by the arm.  LET GO, shouts Sharon.  “How bout you go down the stairs, huh?” says Phyllis.   Jack, Nick, and Victor come running around the bottom landing.  “PHYLLIS!” shouts Jack.  “Don’t hurt her!” cries Nick.  “What are you doing here?” asks Jack. “What’s going on??”  Phyllis glares at Sharon.  “Do you want to tell them?  Or should I?”  Sharon stares down at them in despair.

[Petunia13]

"It's Peachy, bitch."

She's back!

[peach]

Wed, Nov 5     More Payback

 

Back to the stairwell!  Phyllis is at the top clutching Sharon’s arm.  Sharon is precariously on the second step.  Victor, Nick, and Jack are all at the bottom.  “DAMMIT, LET GO OF ME!” shouts Sharon.   “Red, I mean it, turn her loose!” says Jack.  “Not yet!  Not until Sharon tells ALL of you how she’s managed to screw up EVERYONE’S lives, and ALMOST KILL ME in the process!”  Sharon glares.  Nick looks at Victor who’s just smirking with satisfaction.

 

Nikki’s at home, all bombed out on the couch.  The doorbell rings, waking her up.  Uhhngh, she says.  She hears someone coming in so she dives for her stupid mints.  It’s Paul.  I guess he just lets himself in these days.  She staggers a bit, and he says he wanted to let them know that Ian was arraigned and denied bail.  “Thank goodness,” says Nikki.  She looks like her face is falling off.  “I will be thrilled to relay that message to Victor.”   Paul’s glad Victor’s not there, because he really came to check on Nikki.  He’s really worried about her.  She gets mad.  “My GOD, Paul, how many TIMES have I told you there is absolutely nothing wrong with me!” she shouts.  He’s like, uh, I’m not sure I believe that.  Victoria walks in.   Yo, what’s wrong with Mom?

 

Billy checks out Chelsea’s Halloween candy.  “Raisins?  Seriously?”  IKR? Flirt, kiss.  He notices the anonymous envelope on the table.  Chelsea grabs it.  That’s not important!  Billy’s like, Chels…is there something you’re not telling me?

 

Okay, so this new woman, who took the handkerchief from the church, is named Sage.  This hasn’t been revealed yet, but I’m going to use it anyway.  So, Sage is ministering to our mysterious hero in a bed in a darkened room of the Addams Family mansion.  She’s brought him tea, and she thought he’d want to know, that she, uh, paid a visit to his wife.  We see the man in the bed.  His face is covered in bandages!  Ah, so we’re going the plastic surgery route.  Adam will not look like Adam anymore.

 

Avery asks if Joe is all right?!  Joe says it’s been a long time since he’s been sucker punched.  “What the hell was that for?” he asks Dylan.  Dylan spouts that Joe is trying to destroy his business!  “This is nothing but a cheap attempt at payback!”  I think it’s kind of an expensive attempt.

 

Sharon says she UNDERSTANDS that Phyllis wants payback!  But, please, not like this!  Jack’s like, what is she talking about, payback??  Nick demands that Phyllis let her go now.  He’s warning her, you guys.  “NICK!  I need to talk to you!” cries Sharon.  “You need to tell him the truth,” says Victor.   Sharon stumbles!!  Phyllis still has her by the arm.  “Whoa, Sharon, don’t lose your balance!  We wouldn’t want you to fall,” she hisses.  Twilight close-ups.

 

The whole gang goes out of the stairwell and into the ballroom area.  Jack is like, what has gotten into you, Phyllis?  Why are we here, why this place?  “Just ask Sharon.”  Everyone stares at her.  “I..I don’t feel well.  Nick?  Would you take me home please?” she says semi-desperately.   Nick looks grief-stricken. “You’re not taking her anywhere, Nick,” says Victor. 

 

“It’s way past time for the truth to come out,” says Phyllis.  Well, yeah, you could have told everybody when you got back.  “It certainly is,” says Victor.  Jack’s like, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHAT TRUTH?  He is TIRED of playing these games!  He’s starting to think Victor and Phyllis have lost their minds!  So, what is going on here?  “Jack, you’re going to hate this,” whispers Phyllis.  Nice of you to think of Jack now, Phyllis.  He says let him be the judge of that.   Somebody tell him why they are there!  “You have been duped!” declares Victor.  “You’re not Summer’s father.  Nicholas is!”  They all stare at Nick.

 

Nikki tries to act overly sunny.  Oh, Victoria, there is nothing wrong with her.  Paul just came to tell her that Ian is in jail!  Victoria and Paul peer at her suspiciously.  She takes Paul by the hand and cheerily leads him to the door, so she can spend mother-daughter time with Victoria!  He says if she does want to talk…  “Don’t make me tell you again,” she snaps, “there is nothing to talk ABOUT.  There is NOTHING wrong.  So please, give my love to Christine.”  And get out.

 

Nikki comes back and gushes over Victoria.  She asks why Paul is concerned about her.  “OMG, you are relentless, just like your father!”  Okay, so, answer the question.  Paul just wanted to make sure she was okay after the sting operation.  And?  Is she?  Because Vicky’s been wondering the same thing.   The last time they spoke on the phone, Nikki told her she had something to tell her about Ben.  Nikki’s like…huh?  I called you??  Vicky’s like, uh, yes, you did.  And she really didn’t seem like herself.  Nikki looks at her empty vodka glass.  “You really don’t remember calling me?” ask Victoria.  I guess she also doesn’t remember Ben isn’t a killer.

 

Chelsea pulls the wedding handkerchief out of the envelope and shows it to Billy.  It was Adam’s mother’s.

 

Sage tells Adam how Chelsea had the handkerchief.  And the way she held it…Sage could tell it really meant something to her.   She couldn’t quite hear Chelsea, but it seemed like she was saying goodbye.  She lit a candle and left the handkerchief there.  Adam’s hand moves around restlessly.

 

Chelsea explains that Adam gave her the handkerchief at their first wedding.  Honestly, she’d lost track of it, and then it turned up in Connor’s room.  Blah blah, she and Adam were so happy and hopeful that day.  After Billy told her he loved her, she took the handkerchief to the church, so she could be alone with her thoughts.  She wanted to tell Billy she loved him, too, but she couldn’t.  She had to say goodbye to Adam first.  So she lit a candle, made peace with her past, and left it.   Billy takes her hand and thanks her for sharing that with him.  But he’s confused.  How is the handkerchief here?  Chelsea says that’s the mystery.   Someone put in an envelope, and slid it under the door.  Billy’s like, who would do that??

 

“Don’t worry,” says Sage.  “I returned it.”  Hmm, that sounds like an executive decision.  “Anonymously, of course,” she says, “because I know you’d want Chelsea to have it.”  Adam clutches his fancy blankets.  He breathes heavily and his eyes look distressed.  And he still likes black t-shirts.

 

Nikki covers and says, of COURSE she remembers calling Victoria, for heaven’s sake!  She’s just confused with so many things going on, like her brother marrying Sharon.  They’ve probably already done it, has she heard anything??  Victoria says to STOP changing the subject!  SHE is the one Vicky’s worried about.  “You know you and Paul should start a club!  The I’m Worried About Nikki Society.  I’m sure there’d be standing room only.”  Give her a hint, what was this phone call about, what did she say about Ben?  Vicky doesn’t know, it was abrupt.  And then later, when she talked to Ben’s mom…  “You talked to his mother?” snaps Nikki.  “Exactly what did she say??”

 

Chelsea’s wondered herself how the handkerchief was returned.  Maybe the pastor or another parishioner saw her and thought she left it by mistake.  Billy’s like, yeah, so someone got past security downstairs (they have SECURITY in this building??), and left it there with no note, like, found this, thought you might want it back?  Sorry, but that creeps him out.  Why, because a reminder of Adam found its way back to her?

 

Can we get back to Sharon??  No, we cannot.  Joe holds an ice pack on his jaw, which makes Dylan even madder.  “Aren’t you playing it up a bit?”  He’s a LAWYER, Dylan.  Dylan says it can’t hurt THAT much.  “What are you saying?  You don’t punch that hard?” snarks Joe.  Avery wants to discuss this rationally.  Joe’s like clearly Dylan found out about the real estate deal, and frankly, he’s overreacting.  He’s not out to destroy his business.  Dylan’s furious.  He’s going to throw him and his customers out in the street.  How is that a coincidence?  Joe’s like, listen, peon, this is a MULTIMILLION DOLLAR development deal, your stupid little café is a tiny piece of this pie.   “My little café?” asks Dylan. Yes, Dylan.  Your cafe.  It's little.

 

Avery’s like, maybe you didn’t know about Dylan when you started this, but surely you found out when going over the details.  So?  Joe says this is purely BUSINESS, not a vendetta against her dumb boyfriend.  “That’s a lie!” gripes Dylan.  “So you’re telling me years after the fact, you just happen to roll into town in your expensive suit, and stomp on the livelihood of the guy your wife fell in love with?”  Suits really make Dylan mad. 

 

“You’re way out of line, pal.”  Dylan is not your PAL, Joe.  And the way he treats people, Dylan’s surprised he has any friends at all!  Joe points in his face.  “You don’t know anything about me,” he growls.  “I know you ignored your wife for years!”  It almost comes to blows, but Paul rushes in and breaks it up.  Of course, he thinks it’s Joe’s fault and not Super Dylan’s.  “What’s going on here?” demands Paul.  Your kid is out thugging it again, Paul.

 

Jack holds the DNA test.  “This doesn’t mean a damn thing,” he says.  “Really?” says Victor.  “It certainly does, Jack.”  Sharon is torn apart.  She approaches Nick, but he rolls his eyes and walks away.  “Jack, it’s true,” says Phyllis.  “HOW CAN IT BE!” shouts Jack.  He wants answers and he wants them now.  Victor says to ask Sharon.  She stands there tearful and frozen.  “You can’t talk?” snarls Phyllis.   Jack asks if Nick believes this story.  He says he needs to hear it from Sharon.  “Sharon, honey,” says Jack, “tell me the story.”

 

Sharon slowly says that after talking to Phyllis today, she..she remembers everything.  All of the memories she lost, from when she was sick, and had the ECT.  Nick walks toward her.  HOW?  “I jogged her memory,” says Phyllis.  “Come on, Sharon.  Tell EVERYONE what your fragile psyche conveniently buried.”  Tears run down her face.  “I’m so sorry,” she whispers.  “I hate saying the words.”  Is it true, asks Nick.  I never meant to hurt anyone, says Sharon.  “Is it…TRUE?  Sharon, is it true?  Is Summer my daughter?”….Yes, gasps Sharon. 

 

Avery introduces Paul and Joe.  He’s a real estate broker and her ex-husband.  Paul’s the police chief and Dylan’s dad.  Okay, then, who wants to explain what was going on?  Joe says it was nothing.  Dylan was just expressing some frustration over a business deal.  He won’t be pressing charges.  “How magnanimous!” snaps Dylan.  SHUT UP, Dylan, you just assaulted him.  Paul assumes there won’t be any more problems.  Absolutely not, says Avery.  “That depends on him,” says Dumb Dylan.  Paul needs to have a word with him.

 

They go to the bar.  Paul asks who lost it first. Seriously?  Dylan says no one lost anything. He just sucker punched the guy in public.  But Dylan thinks he may have GAINED something.  Joe’s attention.  LOLOL.  “The guy needs a wakeup call.”  This is more than a business deal.  Paul  asks if he thinks it’s revenge.  “I know it is,” says Dylan.  Well, punching him fixed EVERYTHING.

 

Billy says he doesn’t expect Chelsea to get rid of every trace of Adam, but it just bugs him that this handkerchief mysteriously made its way back here.  Hey, she didn’t ask for it back.  Still, someone wanted her to have it.  He just thinks it’s…a bad omen.  Chelsea laughs.  Hey, if her leaving it at church was a symbol, then it coming back is a symbol, too!  She thinks that’s ridiculous.  No, he says that’s the way it works with Adam.  He’s like the proverbial bad penny.  No matter what you do to get rid of it, it just keeps coming back.  So maybe they should do something radical.

 

Jack asks Sharon why she would say this.  It isn’t TRUE.  There was a paternity test!  “Sharon, make them understand.  Right now,” demands Phyllis. Sharon says it’s true.  She made the results show that Jack was the father.  “You did what??”  Sharon insists she didn’t plan it.  She was in the hospital walking past the genetics lab, and by chance she heard that Nick’s results were ready.  She knew about it because she heard him talking to Cassie.  “And so I did what I had to do.”  Why did you DO that, asks Nick. 

 

“For the same reason I did it, all those years ago,” says Phyllis.  “To make Daniel Danny’s child, because I wanted to CONTROL who the father was.   And to hell with whose rights I trampled on.”  Oh, but now it’s a bad thing.  “And you know, I paid a dear price for that when the courts took Daniel away from me!  But I guess Sharon has FORGOTTEN about that, that there would be consequences.  Or maybe she’s just too obsessed with Nick to care!”  Nick’s like, obsessed with me??  “Nick, you don’t GET IT.  Sharon wanted you BACK, without OBSTACLES.  She figured she could just handle Avery.  But SUMMER, now THERE’S an obstacle!  That’s the pesky daughter who comes with a pesky mother.  So she GAVE Summer to JACK.”  Phyllis REALLY likes to ENUNCIATE.

 

Sharon’s been silently weeping.  Phyllis asks her which part of that isn’t true?  Sharon has no answer.  Jack says they are not well!  Neither one of them!  Understatement.  Sharon’s obviously having a relapse, says Jack, and Phyllis’ head injury still isn’t healed.  Oh, about that head injury.  “You care to finish the rest of the story, Sharon?”  Nick looks at her with disgust.  “Go on, Sharon, finish what you started,” says Victor. 

 

Nick asks how Phyllis learned this.  She was at the cemetery.  She heard Sharon say OUT LOUD that Summer was Nick’s.  Her first thought was she had to tell Jack.  She was frantic to reach him.  So Sharon followed her and tried to stop her from calling him!  Jack remembers that call!  “Yes, before she threw me down the stairs, to keep me for telling you and Nick the truth.”  “I didn’t throw you down the stairs!” declares Sharon, “STOP SAYING THAT.”  “You left me for DEAD at the bottom of those stairs.”  Well, okay, she did that.  Nick walks off.  Phyllis demands that Sharon admit she left her at the bottom of the stairwell.  “I didn’t push you,” Sharon says meekly. 

 

“Stop this, both of you!” shouts Jack.  This is all some horrible mistake.  Victor warned him the truth would affect a lot of people.  Jack tells Victor he will get another test to prove Summer is his.  “YOU CAN GET A DOZEN TESTS.  YOU CAN HAVE A HUNDRED TESTS.  THAT BEAUTIFUL GIRL IS A NEWMAN, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!”   Jack stares.  “But I’ve gotta tell you… I feel kind of sorry for you.”  Omg, well, pity from Victor is the worst thing EVER.  Jack is stunned.  Phyllis tries to comfort him, but he throws her off and storms away.  Nick and Sharon stare at each other sadly.

 

Avery is pissed but she thanks Joe for not pressing charges.  He says he didn’t because they’re friends.  “We are still friends, aren’t we?”  She says a friend wouldn’t do what he did today.  “You came to me less than an hour ago with a sentimental relic from our past, when the whole time you knew you were sticking it to the man I love!”  Boo hoo.  Joe insists this deal has nothing to do with her.  If that’s what she thinks, he’ll make some phone calls and help find a new place for the coffee house, get him a good deal!  “That’s not gonna happen, Joe!”  She storms off.  Omg, Dylan is making her dumb, too.  Joe leans on the bar.  Paul says maybe it’s time for him to realize that when something’s over…it’s over.  What Ever.

 

Sage chatters on about returning the handkerchief.  She discovered something, and she thinks that’s why Chelsea needed a final goodbye.  Dramatic pause.  “Billy moved in with Chelsea.  He’s living with her and Connor right now.”  Is this supposed to be news?  His henchman follows her around and takes photos all the time.  Bandaged Adam seems surprised, though.  He starts trying to get up, but Sage rushes over and tells him he’s not ready for this!  He smashes the bedside tray table! 

 

Chelsea asks what doing something radical to the handkerchief means.  Billy wants  her to know he appreciates the gesture of her getting rid of it.  And he knows you can’t wipe away years of loving someone.  BUT, they’re living together now and have the chance to be angst-free.  So let’s get rid of the bad penny once and for all.  BURN IT.

 

Victoria blathers about how Maureen accused her of not loving her son enough or being forgiving enough.   Mothers.  She was hoping Nikki could help her figure out what Ben is holding back.  She gets the feeling maybe Mo shared something with her.  She really doesn’t REMEMBER?  She made it sound like it was really important.  Nikki brushes it off.  Vicky just really feels for Ben.  She thinks maybe there’s a chance for them, but only if she truly knows who Ben Russell is and what’s he been through.   “You know something, don’t you?  What are you not telling me?”  Nikki’s like hell if I know.

 

Chelsea’s not going to burn the handkerchief.  She’s keeping it for Connor because it belonged to his grandmother that he will never meet.   Okay, okay.  Billy knows he can’t purge all the evidence that Adam was in her life.  Just like she can’t purge Victoria.

 

Victor gets home, depressed.   He’s glad Victoria is there, he has some news that will affect the whole family.  It seems Sharon tampered with Summer’s DNA test.  JackAbbott is not Summer’s father.  She belongs to Nicholas.  “She tampered with the test?” asks Victoria with excitement.  “How is that even possible?”  Ooo, let’s not get into details.  Victor thinks Sharon can do anything. 

 

Nick is pounding the elevator button so he can get out of there.  Sharon walks up.  He won’t look at her.  “Just say whatever you have to say.  It’s better than this silence.”  He turns.  “How could you do this to me?”  Sharon says she would have told him the truth a long time ago if she hadn’t lost her memory.  And even before that she tried to tell him at least a dozen times but they were always interrupted, or she couldn’t  go through with it.  She starts weeping.  “I just wish there was something I could say.  Some words I could say to make this easier.”  Nick is overcome with emotion.  “You stay away from me,” he says and runs away.

 

Jack gets home.  He sees Summer’s photo and tries not to cry.  Phyllis comes in.  “Honey, I’m sorry,” she says.  “I know you’re heartbroken.  If only I’d been able to tell you the minute it happened.  That’s what I was trying to do when I went flying down the stairs.”  If only she could have made it known to him when she was in that clinic, she would have never let Sharon get away with it.  “Thank God I woke up when I did!”

 

Jack’s like, whoa, whoa, whoa…you KNEW about this when you came out of your coma??  Phyllis is like, uhhh.  “Why in God’s name didn’t you tell me right away?”  Phyllis stammers that she needed to be sure.  Her brain’s been foggy!  She needed Sharon to confess it.  “You didn’t need Sharon to confess it, Victor had the evidence.  VICTOR!!”  She didn’t KNOW THAT, Jack.  This isn’t about Victor, this is about the two of them and how she was GOING to tell him. 

 

Jack is livid.  “So you picked the most showboating, self-serving, theatrical way you could POSSIBLY imagine to do it!  Not just for me.  FOR THE NEWMANS! THANKS!!”  Preach it, Jack!  “Admit it!  You weren’t thinking about ME!  You were thinking about YOURSELF.  Your desire for revenge overrode any POSSIBLE CONCERN you had for the man you SAY you love!” 

 

Dylan and Avery come moping back into the coffee shop.  Dylan gives a prole speech about the little guy and how developers want to BLOCK OUT THE SUN!  Look, Shick is dead, so Crimson Lights can just die now, too, Dylan.  He whines that Joe found a way to make him look like a loser in Avery’s eyes.   She says that could never happen.  There’s got to be a way to fight this.  They’re going to do everything they can to save his rickety espresso machine.

 

Joe tells Paul his marriage ended long ago.  He’s over it, okay.  He wishes Avery and his son the best.  Real Estate Expert Paul says it’s admirable to say that, but there are better locations.  Why this one?  “Crimson Lights is a local landmark,” Paul lectures.  “You really plan on tearing it down?  Seriously, it’s not the best way to win over a community when you plan on building there, now is it?”  Wow, that’s deep.  Joe’s like, look, I’m just the broker, not the client.  But he’ll take his advice under consideration.  Hahaha.  He leaves.   Paul calls the station and abuses his power by asking for a background check on Joe Clark.

 

Sage tells Adam he can’t strain himself when he’s recovering from another surgery.  One slip could set him back months.  He can’t do anything about Billy and Chelsea right now, he’s just got to be patient.  He holds up his hand.  “A favor?” he asks.  Yes, yes, of course.  He motions her closer, closer…she puts her ear next to his face.  “SHUT. UP.”  Confirmation it’s Adam.  Sage stares.  She’s totally going to spit in your tea now.

 

Billy admits he can’t purge Victoria from his life.  Nor would he want to, admit it.  Fine, she wins.  They make out and get sexy on the couch.

 

“Jack, that psycho tried to kill me!,” Phyllis weeps.  “How can you blame me for wanting her to feel a little of the suffering I felt?  How can you suggest that I don’t care?  What do you think DROVE me to rise up out of that bed and FIGHT my way back here??  YOU!!”  Hmm, I thought it was..SATAN?!  “You didn’t come straight to me.  You got all gussied up and crashed Nick and Sharon’s wedding…to torture her and make a big splash.”  Phyllis says she DID come to see him, that’s where she found the wedding invitation.  How did he think she knew about the wedding?  He obviously thinks she could have left a note or something.

 

Phyllis says WHY are they arguing?  “SHARON is the one who screwed you over, not me!  If you’re going to hurl accusations at anyone, it ought to be her.”  Jack is sad.  “How could Summer not be mine?  Oh, God,  Summer doesn’t know.”  Phyllis says she’ll have to be told.

 

Victor thought he’d never hear himself say he does feel kind of sorry for JackAbbott.  Nikki says he must be devastated.  Victoria says now they know she’s really Victor’s granddaughter.  She was always a Newman to him.  Yeah, we’ve heard.  Victoria says of all the terrible things Sharon has done, to deprive Nick of his child for over a year??  She seems to be relishing this.  Nikki apologizes to Victor.  He was right all along.  Barf.  VICTOR says, “I hate to say I told you so.”  Yeah, he hates that.  Still, he’s not very enthusiastic, not like Victoria.  He’s not enjoying being right this time because it’s devastating to Nicholas.  They need to pay lots of attention to him right now. 

 

Nick is running down the stairs with Sharon chasing him.  “Nick, don’t!  Please!”  He’s gone.  She sits on the stairs and weeps.

Edited November 8, 2014 by peach

[movinon]

 

Victor comes in and says it should be up to Phyllis whether or not to see him.  Sure, but Phyllis is resting right now, at the top of a stairwell.

Not sure why this struck me so funny - I'm still snickering.  All three crazy men in the living room, arguing about talking to Phyllis, while she's supposed to be sleeping with all that noise.  From what I've seen so far, this Phyllis never sleeps - guess she's all caught up after that year in the coma. 

[peacheslatour]

Not sure why this struck me so funny - I'm still snickering.  All three crazy men in the living room, arguing about talking to Phyllis, while she's supposed to be sleeping with all that noise.  From what I've seen so far, this Phyllis never sleeps - guess she's all caught up after that year in the coma. 

It's like when the three of them were standing at the bottom of the stairwell at the GCAC and just staring up at Sharon and Phylis, like they were waiting to catch whichever of them came tumbling down the stairs.

[peach]

Wondering if I should really recap two more days of people asking Sharon, WHY??  HOW?? WHY??  HOW?? 

 

BECAUSE SHE WAS CRAZY, YOU DUMBASSES.  Fuck all y'all.

Edited November 8, 2014 by peach

[Slowpokey]

Wondering if I should really recap two more days of people asking Sharon, WHY??  HOW?? WHY??  HOW?? 

 

BECAUSE SHE WAS CRAZY, YOU DUMBASSES.  Fuck all y'all.

What Peach said!!!

[miamama]

“Jack, that psycho tried to kill me!,” Phyllis weeps.  “How can you blame me for wanting her to feel a little of the suffering I felt?  How can you suggest that I don’t care?  What do you think DROVE me to rise up out of that bed and FIGHT my way back here??  YOU!!”  Hmm, I thought it was..SATAN?!

 

*dead*

[peach]

Thurs, Nov 6      Promises, Promises

It’s the next day.  Sad music plays while Jack looks at photos of Summer.  Phyllis walks in.  Jack says he asked Summer to come over.  She should learn about her paternity now, not later.  Phyllis says of course, as if she hasn’t had weeks to do so.  “Maybe we should have NICK with us, too,” says Phyllis.  Nick, Nick, Nick.  Jack says Nick has the rest of his life with her!  He’d like some time with his…with Summer.  Besides, Nick has other problems.

 

Sharon mopes around the cottage.  She’s dressed all in black like she’s in mourning.  Nick gets home.  She’s so relieved.  Noah had left her a note last night that Nick asked him to keep Faith overnight.  Nick stands there all shell shocked and betrayed like.  She says he wasn’t at the tack house, so she left him a bunch of messages.  He says he took a walk.  All night, asks Sharon.  Yep, all night.  “But now you’re home.”  Nick grimaces.  He came to get his things.  “This isn’t my home.  We have nothing left.”  Sharon looks worried.

 

Michael’s on the phone in his office.  He’s aggravated that they won’t give him the biopsy results on the phone.  We all know what that means.  Kevin walks in.  “It’s called KNOCKING,” snaps Michael.  “And I’m called your brother,” says Kevin.  He brought Michael a present.  It’s Lauren…and Fenmore!  He looks a little less Leviney.  Kevin got Fen home, and it had to be today…otherwise it might be too late.  Michael scowls.

 

Victoria stops by Chelsea’s to visit Billy.  She says she owes him an apology because he had nothing to do with Ben’s arrest.  Billy knows he’s gone after Stitch before, but like he said before, he’s done.  She’s sorry for jumping to conclusions.  But she has to ask, did Chelsea have a part in it?  He’s like, oh, so if it wasn’t me, then it was Chelsea??  Well, that’s because her dad is Jeffery, and he instigated the charges, so maybe she put the idea in his head.  Billy says if she knew about this she would rip Jeff apart.  Vicky says he’s after money and is suing the hospital.  Billy says he’ll tell Chelsea and maybe she can talk him down from it.  Vicky says he seems really positive.  Why would he want to help Ben?  WTF, why are you even asking?  Billy says he doesn’t, but it’s hurting Victoria and he’s not okay with that.

 

Stitch runs into Kelly at the club.  He needs to find mom and talk ASAP.  Things are going to change.  Big things, and not just for him.

 

Phyllis asks if Jack is still mad at her.  He doesn’t answer, and she’s like never mind, he has a right to be after how she handled it.  She defends herself, saying she just couldn’t blurt it out to him.  She needed proof, she needed to hear Sharon say it first.  Jack says nothing.  “Jack, I spent a year in silence!  If I have to spend another hour of it, my head’s going to explode!”  Jack still says nothing.  “Not that I’m making this about ME,” says Phyllis quickly.  He looks mad, but Summer walks in and interrupts. She says Jack sounded a little weird on the phone.  Phyllis and Jack hem and haw and stare.  Summer says they’re both scaring her.  Tell her what it is.  “Dad?” she asks, and it’s a knife in Jack’s heart.

 

Vicky says if he could just talk to Chelsea, maybe she could [pay] talk to Jeff and get him to withdraw the suit.  Didn’t he just say that?  Billy says Chelsea does have a heart.  Ben has a heart, too, Vicky says all defensively.  Maybe people don’t realize that because of what they’ve heard.  “Yeah, the word murder does carry some baggage with it,” says Billy in his murder victim’s living room.  Victoria thinks Ben has paid for what he’s done, maybe more than he should have.  “So you’re saying that Stitch got the raw end after killing his own dad,” says the guy who threw away Adam’s mattress.  Vicky says they don’t know everything, not yet.  They argue about Stitch’s alleged nefariousness, until Vicky just says STOP.

 

There’s another reason she came by.  There’s something else she has to tell him.  It’s about a child, but not this child.  Jack just got some information that’s going to be hard to deal with, and he’s going to need all the love and support he can get from them right now. 

 

“Lives will change?” says skeptical big sister Kelly.  “Oh, Ben, you’ve been hopeful before.  Is this about Victoria?”  It is, but things are going to be different this time.  He’s not talking about baby steps, he’s talking the whole nine yards.  It’s a brand new world for him, Kell.  It can’t be soon enough.  She says it’s a good feeling, isn’t it.  They giggle about their new hopes. 

 

She says Jack gave her hope again the other day.  So, the Phyllis situation…?  Kelly mocks all the people who think Jack and Phyllis are meant to be and she should just walk away.  She says too bad for them!  She’s gonna stay and fight!  “You’re tough, Kell, tougher than anyone knows.”  He’s gearing up for a fight, too.  She says maybe Vicky is ready to forgive. Maybe.  When two people share a kid that’s the biggest reason in the world to make it work.  Kelly’s like, ugh.  She hates that reason.

 

Summer sits down.  She wants to know what’s wrong.  “Dad,” she says again.  “Don’t.  Don’t call me Dad,” he says sadly.  She doesn’t get it.  Everything was going so well.  “I’m not…I’m not your father, Summer.”  She frowns in confusion.  “There’s been a mistake,” says Jack.  Oh, no, says Phyllis.  It wasn’t a mistake.  It was vicious, it was selfish, and it was sick.  Summer doesn’t get what’s happening!!!  Phyllis says Sharon changed the paternity test Nick ran last year.  It was a lie Sharon created to get her claws into Nick.  THIS is the truth.   Summer is puzzled.  But if Jack’s not her dad…then??  Do the math, girl!  Nick is your father, says Jack, he has been all along.

 

“Nick,” says Sharon, “you can’t just go.”  He says he can get his stuff now, or later if she wants.  Not like this!  Nick whines about how they lost Cassie together, and she knows what it’s like to have that hole carved out of your heart because of one terrible accident.  And she knows what it’s like to have her husband cheat on her afterward.  But Sharon did this to him on purpose.  “You took Summer from me” even though she’s alive and well and in your face every day and not dead forever like your Cassie example.  He says they’ve hurt each other a million different ways, but THIS…  Sharon says gently, “I know.  I know.  But I can explain.”  DO IT, says Nick.  Help him understand this.

 

Michael is irritated Kevin wanted Fen home NOW when the boy is in college!  Fen said there was no way he could stay when he heard Kevin’s message.  Lauren says it must have been urgent.  Uh, if you consider floor seats to the reunion tour of Fen’s favorite band URGENT!  Hell yeah, Fen does!  He promises Lauren he studied on the plane.  Kevin says yes, I am a hero.  Michael bitterly says he’s an interfering pain in the ass, and looks like he might bust his head open.  Lauren’s slightly alarmed by how pissed he is.

 

Sad music.  Summer shakes her head.  There’s no way, there’s NO WAY that someone would ever… ever do what?  What Phyllis did with Daniel?  Jack says it’s true.  Sharon admitted it last night.  Summer says maybe it’s all in her head.  They can’t take her word for it!  Phyllis says she’s known about it for a long time.  That’s why she was running up those stairs, to tell Jack.  But Sharon couldn’t let that happen.  Summer’s like, wait, are you trying to say Sharon tried to KILL YOU!”  NO, says Jack.  “Tried to?  Maybe not.  Almost did?  You betcha,” says paternity switching attempted murderer Phyllis.

 

They struggled for her phone, and Summer knows the rest.  That lipstick on the stairs, it wasn’t just Sharon’s shade, it was SHARON’S LIPSTICK!  CREAMY NUDE!  All this time!!  Jack tries to comfort her.  Phyllis says Sharon knew what she was doing to Summer, and her.  “That psycho turned EVERYBODY’S life upside down.”  Summer thought…she thought… Jack thought it, too.  Why is Summer so upset?  She didn’t want to be Jack’s daughter in the first place.

 

Nick is angry.  He wants Sharon to help him understand this.  She says for all her life she’s been in love with him, no matter what they did or said or who they were screwing.  It was always him.  And then she got sick.  Her mental illness made her not know what was right anymore.  She started seeing Cassie again, and she told her that for Sharon to be special to Nick again, she had to be the only mother of his children.  Nick says Cassie would NEVER, EVER… Right?  BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD. 

 

Sharon says he’s right, it was her ILLNESS that made it make sense to her, to trust a vision of Cassie.   She believed her, she knew how much she needed him.  “It wasn’t Cassie!” says Nick.  THAT’S KIND OF THE FUCKING POINT.  Sharon let hallucinations of a dead person tell her what to do.  It’s called MENTAL ILLNESS.  Still, she felt so guilty and ashamed, and she wanted to tell him so badly.  But she was afraid of losing him, and she was hallucinating all the damn time, and being gaslighted by his sociopathic father,  and then she had the ECT.  After that treatment, the memories were gone!

 

All those nights, says Nick, we talked about us, and our future, and our family.  She insists that when they were falling in love again, she had NO IDEA of what she had done.  “But you did it,” snarls Nick.  “It happened.”  Yes, she made a terrible mistake because of her illness.  But their love, that was real, that was honest.  If he could just see that that wasn’t HER, and that she would do anything to take this back.  Please stay.  Stay and help her like he’s done before.

 

“Help you?” says Nick.  “Because of your illness?”  She knows she has to help herself, and she knows what she’s done, but that part is in the past.  They have sworn that they would love each other FOREVER many times since then.  She is a very different person since the ECT.  She’s not CAPABLE of doing horrible things like that anymore, with the right care.   Nick says she needs to be well, for the kids’ sake.  “And for you, and for me, and for us.”  Nick gets all choked up.  “There is no us.”  Sharon says there will ALWAYS be an Us! 

 

“Sharon you STOLE my child from me!  How many times did you watch me cry because I didn’t think Summer was mine?  You let Summer fall apart because she thought her whole life was a lie.  And you let people BLAME ME because they thought I kept Summer from Jack.”  Sharon tears up.  “They forgave you,” she says.  “For something I didn’t do!” cries Nick.  THE HELL YOU SAY!  Nick damn well DID do that, he just got lucky that she turned out to be his kid.  “But if they can forgive you for that, then you can forgive me for this.”  Oh, this ain’t no two way street, Sharon.  “You broke my daughter’s heart.  You took Noah and Faith from her.  Her family!  You made her feel things she never should have felt!”  But it was forgivable when he did it.  On purpose.  With a distinct lack of mental illness besides Selfish Asshole Disorder.

 

“And what you did to Phyllis??”  “I did NOT push Phyllis,” says Sharon.  An entire year was gone.  Summer had already lost him, and she was terrified that she lost her mother…because of HER!  I wonder how Noah felt when he lost his sister, and then his dad because of Phyllis.  Sharon weeps and shakes her head.  She’s so sorry.  Well, that doesn’t cut it.  Her tears do not make his daughter’s pain go away.  WAAAH.

 

Summer weeps and tells Jack she’s so sorry.  He’s been so generous to her.  He says he was the first person to hold her when she was born.  He’s loved her ever since, and he will love her til the day she dies.  Blah blah blossoming, etc.  He’s proud to call her his daughter.  Summer cries and says was so awful to him at the beginning.  But she couldn’t have made it through this year without him.

 

But Jack loves Summer, Billy says to Chelsea.  Finding out she was his daughter was like Christmas for him!  Well this is like that day you have to stand in line at Old Navy for two hours to return those skinny jeans that didn’t fit.  That’s why Victoria wanted to tell him in person.  “Even if it meant coming here?” he asks.  She says he definitely wins the award for “moving on.”  What about her and her tattooed ring.  She says it’s just makeup on top.  But after the baby’s born… “Away it goes,” says Billy.  It’s gonna leave a mark, says Vicky.  Everything does, doesn’t it, philosophizes Billy.    But maybe someday they can have a conversation without this cloud of tension and regret.  She thinks the cloud is getting smaller, if that helps.  It does.  Who cares?

 

Kevin says Michael’s right.  Ever since his divorce he’s been guilty of trying to get in everyone’s face with a slice of joy.  What a terrible trait.  Lauren thinks it’s good to find things to smile about.  Michael has to get to a “meeting.”  He and Fen leave.  Lauren confronts Kevin.  “So you lured Fen from school?  Do you really think Michael and I are in so much trouble that we need to see our son to remember what’s at stake??”  What?  It’s just a concert!  Lauren relents and thanks him. 

 

Fen asks if Michael’s okay.  OF COURSE HE IS.  WHY?  Fen says he’s a little jumpy.  It’s just a big verdict he needs to go well.  Fen says it’s a lock.  He ALWAYS wins, except for that time Fen got sent to prison.   Michael wishes that were true.  Fen says he’ll win this one, too.  They hug.

 

Nick badgers Sharon some more about how much she’s hurt his love child conceived while she was grieving for Cassie.  She didn’t care WHO she hurt!  Sharon insists she did care.  It was eating away at her heart and soul.  But Nick’s love is what kept her back from the edge.  It was loving him and knowing that he loved her, and also some good medication and a lot of electricity.  “Our love for each other is what made me whole again.  It’s what made our family whole again!  The wedding was supposed to be for all of us!”  Including my daughter you shoved right out of my life, he accuses. 

 

SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT SHE’D DONE.  He was there.  He saw how hard she tried to remember!  She went to therapy, hypnosis, she even went to VICTOR for help!  “You said that you would love me no matter what!”  Omg, he didn’t MEAN it.  Anything but this, he says.  It was vicious and hateful!   “You love me,” says Sharon, “I know you do.  Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me!”

 

“So SHARON changed the paternity test,” whimpers Summer.  She just doesn’t get it.  Sharon’s been SO NICE to her this past year.  She’s acted like a second –  “A second WHAT?” demands Phyllis.  “A second MOTHER?! You listen to me.  She is a manipulating BITCH…who KNEW what she was doing to you, to Nick, to Jack, TO ME.  MAYBE she did forget, maybe she got it zapped out of her blonde bubble she calls a brain, but she knew what she did!” 

 

Jack interrupts her rant and says they’re just worried about Summer.  She’s back to whining and talking out of her nose like Edith Ann.  She says she knows they think she’s going to take pills or drive like a maniac and cause a miscarriage for which she’ll be forgiven, but she’s not who she was a year ago.  “I have Austin.”  Phyllis grudgingly accepts that.  Jack says this news doesn’t change them being there for her.

 

Summer says what about them?  Jack admits his heart is breaking.  Summer is a gift, and she filled a corner of his heart that he didn’t know was empty.  He will miss her terribly.  Summer’s like, no, no, she will still be there.  Mom’s home and she will be there all the time.  They can still be together, and she can keep her free apartment!  They hug.  She leaves.  Phyllis says she’s there for Jack, too, baby.  NO, he says.  He needs to be alone!  He leaves, too.  Phyllis weeps.

 

Billy thanks Victoria for coming to tell him in person.  She admits she was angry for a few months, and then she directed it all at Ben, but now she doesn’t have the energy for it.  This baby is coming soon!  She doesn’t want it born into negativity, so she needs to learn to forgive.  Billy admits he gave her a pretty tall hurdle on the road to forgiveness.  He’s so reasonable now that he doesn’t want her back.  “That’s what people do.  They make mistakes.  Maybe if we can stop looking at the past, we can focus on the future.”

 

Stitch asks Kelly if she ever thinks about how Dad died?  Seriously?  It was the only conversation you had for a year.  She says she tries hard NOT to think about it!   But she doesn’t think about how things were for them??  “You mean our troubled home life?  Sure.  I mean, come on, it was obviously screwed up or things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did.”  Well, this is a new tune.  “But why talk about it?” says Kelly, “Why dig up the past?  We’re talking like a real brother and sister now, and I like it!  Let’s leave the past behind.”  She really hopes he and Victoria works things out.  Same for her and Jack.  Stand and fight, says Stitch.  Yeah, why NOT her?  You either stand up and fight for what you want, or you curl up and die!

 

Kevin has followed Michael to the medical office where he’s escorted away by a beautiful receptionist.  I don’t think they usually hold your arm like that, but whatever.

 

“You can’t tell me that you don’t love me,” says Sharon.  Nick says falling in love with her again was the easiest thing in the world to do, which is how he likes it.  They both said it felt like coming home.  “We ARE home, Nick.  THIS is our home!  When you told me earlier that NO MATTER WHAT I HAD DONE, it wouldn’t matter to you, that was very hard for me to believe.  It took a leap of faith..but I TOOK IT!  And now I’m asking you to trust me!  We can get through this!” 

 

“I don’t wanna get through it,” pouts Nick.  It was easy falling in love and making grand promises, but this is NOT EASY, so he’s OUT.  “I could search my heart and soul for days, but there is nothing left for you in there anymore.  You killed it.”  Don’t, says Sharon.  “You lied,” says honest Nick.  “And then you handed my daughter to another man and said she’s yours!  I don’t love you anymore.”  He’ll come back later for his stuff.

 

Sharon grabs his arm.  Wait!  What about Faith and Noah!  Nick, we’re a FAMILY!  Waah, when he thinks about what this is gonna do to Faith after she heard him make a bazillion promises to Sharon… “We’ll figure out how to deal with them.”  Sharon begs him to stop.  “I can’t lose you!”  Nick turns at the door.  “You already did.”  He’s going to move all the way across the driveway!

 

Lauren and Fen eat Chinese food in Michael’s office.  He talks about how weird it is that Summer has a husband.  Lauren says take it from her, love is always weird. 

 

Michael staggers out of the medical office in shock.  Kevin’s waiting.  “Was that her?  Is that the woman he’s willing to risk everything for?”  Michael’s like how dumb are you?  That woman is a receptionist.  So he came to her place of work to cheat on his wife?  “I’m not having an affair, Kevin.  I have cancer.”  He walks out.  Kevin is stunned.

 

Stitch leaves a message for Ma.  They need to talk.  It’s time for him to get everything out there, so call him soon.  Damn, Stitch, just cut the apron strings and stop asking her.  Victoria walks in.  “I’m ready!” says Stitch eagerly.  “To tell the truth?” asks Victoria.  Yes, tonight, over dinner.  He’ll tell her the truth if she’s ready to listen. 

 

He rushes out and she rubs her belly and maudlin music starts playing for our ending scenes:

 

Billy’s searching for tattoo removal on the internet to get rid of his wedding band. 

 

Phyllis stares at a photo of Summer and Jack.  She calls him but he ignores it.

 

Jack sits at the bar drinking Perrier.  Kelly comes up and sits with him and they hold hands.

 

Sharon sits on her couch and sobs.

 

Nick’s in the tack house pulling the sheets off the furniture.  He takes his wedding ring off and puts it in his pocket.  Summer appears in the doorway.  “Dad,” she whispers.  They embrace.  See, all’s well that ends well.  So get over it.

[PatsyandEddie]

Every time you do a recap you make me laugh! Thank you! The snark is amazing!

[miamama]

Thanks, Peach. I feel like that must have been an especially annoying recap to write. It still makes me angry to read that jackass Nick's words. ugh. 

[crosby777]

BECAUSE SHE WAS CRAZY, YOU DUMBASSES

 

IS crazy.

Edited November 9, 2014 by crosby777

[crosby777]

 

Sharon sits on her couch and sobs.

exactly why I cannot stand this character,., BOOHOOO

[Canadian]

 

 

 

 

 

Summer says what about them?  Jack admits his heart is breaking.  Summer is a gift, and she filled a corner of his heart that he didn’t know was empty.  He will miss her terribly.  Summer’s like, no, no, she will still be there.  Mom’s home and she will be there all the time.  They can still be together, and she can keep her free apartment!  They hug.  She leaves.  Phyllis says she’s there for Jack, too, baby.  NO, he says.  He needs to be alone!  He leaves, too.  Phyllis weeps.

 

nice to see that Sharon is not the only one who sits alone and cries, weeps, sobs, LOL..

[Slowpokey]

nice to see that Sharon is not the only one who sits alone and cries, weeps, sobs, LOL..

Isn't it sort of strange that Sharon is some how not allowed to react to a raving,raging lunatic threatening to throw her down a flight of stairs? She dare not open her eyes too wide or God forbid shed a tear!! lol

[Slowpokey]

“STOP me?” demands Phyllis. “You tried to KILL ME!” Bitch, please, we just saw the whole thing. “You pushed me down the stairs!” lies Phyllis. Sharon stares at her like she didn’t do a good enough job.

LMAO If only Sharon if only!!!!! ((:

[Canadian]

Isn't it sort of strange that Sharon is some how not allowed to react to a raving,raging lunatic threatening to throw her down a flight of stairs? She dare not open her eyes too wide or God forbid shed a tear!! lol

LOL, what I can't understand is why a human emotion like crying, which I am sure most of us have done at some point  should generate hatred, but to each his own I guess, I don't  think less of Phyllis (not that I could ) because she gave in to sobs..

[peach]

Yeah, I was glad to see that Phyllis is sometimes capable of tears and pain and something besides shrewish snarling.

[movinon]

 

But it was forgivable when he did it.  On purpose.  With a distinct lack of mental illness besides Selfish Asshole Disorder.

 

Perfect description of Nick - his father's son after all.  Why anyone would want this man is beyond me.  Yet, he is written, along with Dylan, as the star of the show..........what a joke.  . 

[peacheslatour]

 

Sharon grabs his arm.  Wait!  What about Faith and Noah!  Nick, we’re a FAMILY!  Waah, when he thinks about what this is gonna do to Faith after she heard him make a bazillion promises to Sharon…

You know children can become pretty jaded to this kind of crap from their parents, I know I did.  Pretty soon it just becomes "Oh great, this shit again...  sigh... roll eyes".

[glowlights]

It's like when the three of them were standing at the bottom of the stairwell at the GCAC and just staring up at Sharon and Phylis, like they were waiting to catch whichever of them came tumbling down the stairs.

 

Didn't Victor tell Jack they were at The Genoa City Ballroom? I remember laughing out loud at that - the city can only afford one park, but by god it has its very own ballroom. 

 

ETA: I'm already bored with Sage. She should go live with Summer, Dylan, Billy, Lauren, Chelsea and the Winters, and they can all be boring together. Preferably off screen.

Edited November 9, 2014 by glowlights

[peach]

Fri Nov 7      He Doesn’t Even Return Gifts

 

Subber whines to Nick in her congested crybaby voice.  How could Sharon do this to them?  She’s supposed to love Nick.   Sharon said she DID it because she loves him.

 

Sharon looks at the digital images of the happy family montage on her camera.  Noah comes in, takes one look at his mom and says it’s worse than he thought.  Sharon asks how Faith is.  Full of questions he can’t answer, so what does he tell his little sister?  That her father is a hypocritical, unforgiving asshole. 

 

What happened, why didn’t she show up at her own wedding?  She says her memory came back.  And?  She knew there was a reason she suppressed it, that Nick wouldn’t understand.  Aw, Noah’s sure he will.  Right?  I mean, remember ALL THOSE PROMISES?  Sharon says he does NOT understand, he moved out!  “I made Nick believe that he wasn’t Summer’s father.”  Noah frowns.

 

Michael gets back to his office and starts freaking out about his diagnosis.  But before he can really let go, Kevin comes rushing in behind him.  He’s like, you can’t just drop a bomb like that and walk away.  “I just did.  I walked allll the way here from the hospital.”  So he’s just going to pretend it’s another day at the office?  “That’ll work.”  Kevin insists they need to talk about it.  He has cancer!  Michael says that’s right.  HE has cancer, which makes it HIS business and no one else’s.  “What about your wife??”  He hasn’t told Lauren, has he?

 

Lauren is overjoyed to run into Phyllis at Jabot.  She looks so good!  Phyllis feels great, absolutely healed and perfectly healthy.  Sure, why not.  She’s not back to work yet, she’s just looking for Jack.

 

Kelly worries about Jack.  She says it seems a little early to be hanging out at the bar, even if he’s just slamming back club sodas.  Jack is silent and sad.  She asks again why he’s there.  “I needed to get out of the house.  I needed some time alone.”  Kelly points out that if he wanted to be alone, he could have gone to the park or for a drive.  “You’re here,” says Jack.  Ahh, that’s the answer she was waiting for.  He stands up, and she takes him by the hand and leads him upstairs.

 

Abby walks in and notices.  Victoria is meeting her for lunch and asks what she’s frowning about.  She just saw Jack walking off with Kelly and it looked like he was going to the executioner.  Vicky says he must be upset.  Abby wonders if something’s wrong.  Vicky hopes not.  What?  Something is super duper wrong right now, Victoria.  Abby asks if she’s actually rooting for the woman who broke up her marriage?  Vicky’s no fan of Kelly’s, but she cares about Jack and what he’s going through.  Abby’s like, wait, did something happen?  YEAH, something happened, says Vicky, who never bothered to call her sister and tell her.  “Jack just found out that Summer was never his daughter.”  Abby’s shocked.

 

Lauren and Phyllis talk about the new boutique.  Lauren was supposed to meet Jack, so she doesn’t know where he is either.  Phyllis says at least she’s not the only one he’s avoiding.  “Don’t tell me you and Jack aren’t together,” Lauren says sadly.  Psshaw.  Of COURSE they are.  “WHY would you think Jack and I aren’t together?” laughs Phyllis.  Ummm, not because he’s dating Kelly, that’s for sure!  Lauren brushes it off.  She says it must really be hard transitioning after a year of being gone. Phyllis says the easy part is loving Jack and knowing he loves her.   Lauren thinks that’s good!  Yeah.  Phyllis says they’ve been through a lot, like a WHOLE LOT.  They sit down to talk about what’s been going on.  

 

Everyone’s hugely successful, of course.  Michael started his new law firm with Avery.  And Fenmore’s had a great event she couldn’t have pulled off without KELLY.  Good idea, Lauren, bring up Kelly.  Phyllis is like it’s sure funny how Kelly keeps popping up in conversation.  Jack was just talking about her.  Lauren’s like, ohhh, what did he say?  That Kelly broke up Billy’s marriage.  “What else should I know?”  Umm, she’s not dating Jack, that’s for sure!

 

Kelly says HOW could Sharon manipulate the DNA results?  Jack says it’s better not to ask questions like that, he just knows the results.  He’ll do another test, but it all adds up.  Not really, but okay.  Kelly comforts him.  She knows how much he adored Summer.  Um, she’s not dead.  Unfortunately.  “And she feels the same way about you.”  “Summer’s been so hurt by what Sharon’s done.  And Phyllis, and Nick.”  And YOU, says Kelly.  Yeah, stop putting yourself last.  Jack says entire families have been turned upside down…and Nick’s kids.  Omg, wait, Jack remembers HE has a kid!!  Kyle!  He better call him right away.

 

“Poor Uncle Jack,” says Abby.  They all knew Sharon had a screw loose, but changing a DNA test, that’s just cruel!  And hardly ever happens around there!  Victoria knows, especially after Jack managed to forgive her for past mistakes.  Abby agrees, after their divorce, Uncle Jack was nothing but nice to Sharon.  Right, so she gave him that dumb kid he always wanted.  But Abby wants to wring her neck!  Vicky says to get in line.  Abby says Nick really dodged a bullet.  Shick would be married right now if Phyllis hadn’t come and blown this up. 

 

Vicky’s tried to reach Nick but he won’t pick up.  And what would she even say?  Abby thinks they could ask him to return some of those wedding gifts.  He didn’t do it LAST year when his last wedding went up in flames.  Omg, he didn’t return his AVERY wedding gifts?  Nick is just the worst.  Abby says he must have a warehouse someplace full of unopened wedding gifts.  Ha!  “Abby,” scolds Vicky.  Thou shalt not speak ill of Nick.  Abby says Dad must be lapping this up.  Vicky says as far he’s concerned, everything is as it should be.  Nick is done with Sharon, and Summer is back where she belongs, in their den of vipers.

 

Summer asks HOW is changing the DNA test supposed to prove that Sharon loves Nick?  Well, it all makes sense if you’re suffering a psychotic break.  Nick explains that Sharon thought if she was the ONLY mother of his children it would bring them closer together.   He neglects to mention she got this idea from a DEAD PERSON IN HER LIVING ROOM.  Summer whines even harder.  “Sharon thought I was in the way?”  Nick says, no, it has nothing to do with Summer. 

 

Nooo, cries Summer.  “Sharon wanted to get rid of me, like I wasn’t even a PERSON, like I was just some obstacle in the middle of you two.”  Nick says who cares what Sharon thought, he sure doesn’t.  SUMMER CARES.  She cares that someone she liked, someone she TRUSTED, tried to erase her from his life like she was nothing!  Yeah, it was just like that.  She erased you instead of coddling you and making sure the pwetty pwincess didn’t get too cold at her super hard modeling job, and didn’t die from popping Viva Surge, and didn’t get married to a felon without Super Dad there. 

 

“WHY did she DO that?” cries Summer.  It’s a mystery, I guess.  Nick has stopped trying to figure out what Sharon was thinking.  The more he tries to make sense of a mentally ill person, the angrier he gets.  Summer’s angry with herself for practically adopting Sharon as her second mother, when SHE is the one responsible for what happened to Mom.  “What can we DO about that?”  Mrs. Austin Travers wants to press charges!!  Sharon should PAY for what happened to HER MOM. 

 

Nick says it was an accident, kind of like accidentally kidnapping her aunt and shooting the chief of police.  Well, that’s not what MOM says!  Nick says it would just be psycho Phyllis’s word against psycho Sharon’s, and since Sharon was off her meds… “SO SHE GETS A FREE PASS??” shouts Summer.  After she LIED and tried to take Summer away from Nick?  Why doesn’t she have to pay for that?  Summer is all about justice now. 

 

Nick’s like, I lied, too.  He says it would be real easy to blame all this on Sharon, but he’s the one who started this in the first place.  “Dad, that was SO LONG AGO!”  IKR?  Nick’s only been lying her entire life.  But SHARON lied LAST YEAR.  Nick says is it really worse than what he did?  No, it’s not.  “I lied and CLAIMED you as my daughter without having any proof.”  Summer thinks that’s ridiculous.  HOW COULD HE HAVE KNOWN??  Um, with another test?  Nick says if only he had told the truth then, if he had made a different choice, then Sharon never could have hurt her.  But let’s never forgive her anyway.

 

Sharon explains to Noah that she was not thinking clearly, otherwise she would have realized the pain she was causing.  She would have!  He just sits there.  “Say something!”  Why, asks Noah.  SHE JUST TOLD YOU.  She says when she was sick, her mind went back to her happiest times, and she wanted to go back to when their family was happy.  Summer is a PART of that family, says Noah.  She KNOWS that now that she’s stable. 

 

Noah yells at her for sending Summer’s life spiraling and Dad’s, too.  What about Faith who lost her sister.  “God, how could you do that?  How could you tear our family apart?”  It’s a mystery, I guess.  Sharon says she was sick.   It wasn’t HER making those horrible decisions, it was her illness.  She weeps and says she’s so, so, so sorry.  He has to believe her.  She can’t lose him, too.  Noah deigns to hug her.

 

Ugh, more Summer.  She does NOT WANT Nick to blame himself AT ALL.  Nick will try.  Somehow.  And she also DOESN’T want him forgiving Sharon, you got that?  “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.  I mean, I can never be with her again after what she’s done.  She ruined everything!”  Waah.  “She shredded your heart,” boo hoos Summer.  She sure did, but something positive came out of it.  Summer is his kid, as evidenced by this conversation.  She’s pretty happy about that.  They hug. 

 

But she’s still a little confused because Summer is dumb.  He asks if it’s about Jack.  She can tell him anything.  She whimpers about thinking he was her dad for a whole year, and now how is she just supposed to just… Hey, Nick doesn’t expect her to cut Jack out of her life.  He doesn’t??  No, Summer, grownups are capable of more than black and white thinking, unless it’s about Sharon.  And Jack didn’t have Nick killed after thinking he stole his kid, so Nick can muster up some charity for him now. 

 

Summer says Jack’s been good to her.  Nick knows how incredibly devastating losing Summer can be, so if she loves Jack and wants to keep a relationship with him, then do it.  She did learn to love him like a dad.  Nick says Jack’s a good man, and he’s been like a dad to Nick,too.  Jack’s just everyone’s damn dad.  Blah blah, no one is ever going to take his Stupid Girl away from him again.  He jokes that he can finally tell her she’s grounded after all the bullshit she pulled in the last year.  Ha ha, they hug.

 

Michael and Kevin blah blah.  He needs more tests and to process this and he doesn’t want to worry Lauren yet.  Kevin presses him until he explodes.

 

Lauren says Phyllis will cross paths with Kelly eventually.  Maybe the bedroom?  Phyllis says she already has, at the house.  Ummm, what did she think?  Honestly, Phyllis was a little surprised that Jack was so friendly with the woman who had an affair with his brother.  Lauren’s like, well, um, people make mistakes, and are, um, forgiven.  Phyllis realizes she put her foot in her mouth and says that was not her judging the whole Carmine thing.   They laugh it off!  Affairs are so funny! 

 

They talk about kids and being pregnant with Fen and Summer.  How are their babies old enough to be in college…or married!  Lauren asks what she thought of Austin?  Phyllis admits he is as cute as a basket of puppies, but the jury’s still out.  It was quite a surprise, and omg, what about SHICK?  She thinks everyone ended up with the wrong person while she was away. 

 

Jack’s on the phone with Kyle.  Hey, your girlfriend’s not your sister anymore!  Everything’s going to be different now.  Kyle doesn’t need to come in from New York, he’s got people to look after him here.  Kelly watches from across the room and smiles.  Jack’s voice breaks when he says he’s fine, he swears.  He hangs up, and Kelly thinks it’s a good time to grab brokenhearted Jack and suck his tonsils out to ease his pain.

 

Abby wonders how Summer will take this news.  She kind of lost it last year when Phyllis got sick.  Vicky says whatever happens, they need to see her through it.  Abby’s like, hey, maybe this situation shows why you should get a damn paternity test yourself.  Vicky’s like, what, you’re turning this around on me?  Yes, Victoria.  She just thinks the longer she waits the harder it will be on everyone.  She promises to get that test as soon as the baby’s born. She won’t keep Billy and Ben waiting, like she is doing right now.  Abby thinks Stitch sure wouldn’t mind waiting.  He will do anything to stay in her orbit, and the possibility of being the father keeps him around.  You think Vicky doesn’t know that.  

 

Vicky says they have a date, so he can tell her Something Big.  Abby scoffs that Stitch will say anything to keep her on the hook. He’s claimed this Something Big stuff a million times.  Vicky thinks this time is different.  Yeah, yeah.  Abby says it’s still not too late to reconcile with Billy.  YES, IT IS, shouts Victoria.  “It’s completely and irrevocably and absolutely too late!  How is a couple supposed to reconcile when he’s in love with another woman anyway?”

 

Jack pulls away from Kelly.  He can’t.  He can’t turn to her just because he’s in a dark place right now.  “Of course you can, darling,” she says, stroking his face.   That’s what people who love each other do in times of need.  They turn to each other.  Yeah, but right now he should be talking to Phyllis.  Kelly’s like ouch!

 

Sharon thanks Noah for hearing her out.  He chastises her for how hard this has been on Nick.  How guilty’s he felt for cheating Jack out of Summer.  Of course she knows.  Nothing is worse than Nick’s suffering.  She explains yet again how she was hallucinating on a daily basis.  Okay, he knows.  Sharon says she regretted changing those results more than he could possibly know.   She repressed those memories because she was so ashamed and tortured by the secret she was keeping.

 

But it wasn’t a secret, frowns Noah.  Phyllis knew the truth, and Sharon knew that.  That’s why she ran out of the church, because she was afraid Phyllis was going to expose her lie.  Noah gets angry.  Was it all a lie??  Has she been FAKING this whole memory loss thing to hang onto Dad?  Et tu, Noah? 

 

Michael doesn’t want pity and people being nice and caring to him.  Kevin says Lauren is GOING to realize that something is

wrong!  Why not just be honest with her?  “Because I’m scared,” Michael finally admits.  For the first time in years everything is good with Lauren.  He wants to live their lives without being consumed by a disease, etc.  Kevin thinks Michael is being stupid.  Lauren walks in.  Is everything okay?

 

Victoria shows up at Nick’s.  She hugs Summer and says welcome back to the family.  Summer leaves.  Vicky knows he might not be up for company, but she didn’t come to say I told you so, she just wants to know if there’s anything she can do.  He asks if she can make it so the last year never happened, most of which made him deliriously happy.  He’ll have to settle for a hug. 

 

Sharon’s like, you think I was faking my memory loss??  Noah doesn’t know what to think!  Hey, remember when Sharon said 147 times that she didn’t want to marry Nick because she was afraid of hurting him?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.  Sharon says she wasn’t lying about ECT wiping out some memories.  For how long, he asks.  She says she had fragments that didn’t make sense.  It wasn’t until she saw Phyllis that the pieces started falling together. 

 

He yells at her for not telling Dad BEFORE she had the ECT, when she was still hallucinating and being gaslighted by Mariah.  She didn’t know how.  “You didn’t WANT to tell him!” he accuses.  Sharon didn’t think Nick would understand.   “There it is,” judges Noah.  Sharon tells Noah he has no idea what it’s like to be so desperately alone in the throes of mental illness, and that torture is what kept her from telling Nick the truth.  “You’re going to end up alone anyway,” says her loving son.  He really shares that hero gene with Nick.

 

Jack tells Kelly all about how Phyllis was manipulated, too.  “Really,” says Kelly, “then why aren’t you and PHYLLIS comforting each other right now?”  He looks at the floor.  Kelly’s confused by Jack’s conversation with Kyle.  Jack explains that Phyllis knew what Sharon had done, that’s why they were in the stairwell.  Sharon was trying to stop Phyllis from telling anyone else.  So they went back to relive the scene of the crime.  Yep, she wanted Sharon to confess in front of him, and Nick…and Victor beat her to it.  And he just REVELLED in sharing the news.

 

Kelly’s like, wait.  “So all this time, Phyllis KNEW about Sharon’s lie…and she didn’t tell YOU?”  Well, Jack says she wanted to tell Sharon, and…  Kelly’s like, no, really, WAIT.  Phyllis waited to tell YOU?!  She can’t even wrap her head around it.  Even one day of not telling him the truth is too much.  “That’s unforgivable!”

 

Phyllis is snooping around in Jack’s desk.  She finds the ring box and flashes back to being in the hospital.  “The sooner you unpawn the ring, the sooner we can make that dream of yours a reality.”  She smiles and puts the ring on.  “I’m home, Jack.  What are you waiting for?”

 

Victoria asks Nick where things stand with Sharon.  He moved out.   He doesn’t want anything to do with her.  Easy come, easy go.  Vicky reminds him they have Faith, so he can’t be any more done with her than she is with Billy.  Nick says Sharon’s had custody of Faith since she was born, so coparenting is nothing new.  “Yes, but she’s never done anything this hurtful to you before.”  Nick frowns. 

 

How does she plan on coparenting with Stitch if he’s the father?  “I mean, he did something even worse than Sharon.”  Is that even possible??  Well, Ben says there’s more to the story.  They wonder what it is.  Maybe he was bipolar and dead people told him to burn down the shed.  Maybe that will change things.  But she can’t deal with anymore shocks right now.

 

Michael says everything’s fine!  Kevin leaves.  Blah blah blah.  She wants to talk about what’s really going on.  “Michael, don’t play me.  Remember how the therapist said open communication is key.”  Okay, Michael admits his “problem” affected her more than she knows, and he has a confession to make.  Lauren stops him.  She knows about the doctor appointment.

 

Abby sees Summer at Crimson Lights and tells her all about how all the Abbotts will love her forever and ever and she can still bring her dumb ass to family dinners.  So Summer pretty much wins.  Noah comes in, so Abby leaves.  Noah doesn’t even know what to say.  He’s so sorry this has happened to her, again.  “Don’t be sorry.  It’s not your fault that your mom is sneaky and cruel,” says Phyllis’ spawn.

 

Nick shows up at the cottage.  He’d like to talk.  She was hoping he would, once he calmed down.  He hasn’t changed his mind about moving out.  There’s something he needs to do, and he’s going to do it tonight.

 

Lauren figured out what was going on with Michael when she found a little blue pill he dropped in the sink.   He doesn’t need to feel embarrassed, because all she knows is she LOVES those little blue pills.  Problem solved!  They hug.  Michael’s like, oh, shit.

 

Noah tells Summer that his mom was off her medication when she made that switch.  “If you’re gonna defend your mom right now, I’m just gonna leave.”  Noah apologizes for telling her the truth.  He’s just been defending her for so long it just comes automatically.  Summer says that’s because he’s a good son and even better brother.  Kyle calls.  Gosh, it’s so nice of him to call and see how she’s doing!!

 

Sharon wants to remind Nick of the promise he made her.  He SWORE there was nothing she could ever do to make him stop loving her.  “I WARNED YOU that my secret could hurt you!  And that you shouldn’t marry me until my memories resurfaced.  I wanted you to know the truth, Nick!  YOU’RE the one who said it didn’t matter.”  That was then, this is now.  “YOU STOLE MY CHILD!”  How is he supposed to feel?  Well, she really just kind of loaned her out.  “It’s not what you did to me, it’s what you did to SUMMER.” 

 

He came there to talk to her about FAITH.  If she were older, he’d have no problem vilifying her to Faith, but she’s still just a little girl.  “And you’re her mother, and she’s always going to love you, but I am going to tear her out of your house” because it’s WRONG TO STEAL A CHILD, so kiss yours goodbye.   She is going to live with ME, says Nick, so have her bags packed.  He leaves.  Um, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.  You don’t have custody of Faith. 

 

Jack tells Kelly he was furious when he found out that Phyllis was more interested in getting a confession out of Sharon than sharing the truth with him!  Kelly says good, that was very wrong of her!  Yeah, but Jack has battered woman syndrome, so he can’t let his own anger blind him to what Phyllis was dealing with.  Of course she wanted to go after the person that was responsible.   Kelly asks why Phyllis waited. Well, she just wanted to make sure what she remembered was real.  She still lied to you, points out Kelly.  “She…wasn’t completely honest,” says Jack.  Kelly’s like, are you kidding me?  “Is there a difference?”  He’s been telling himself there isn’t…but he hasn’t been honest with Phyllis either about Kelly. The time has come that he has to be.

 

Phyllis keeps snooping and finds a photo of Kelly in his drawer.  Hmmm.

[peach]

Also, Chuck Pratt, please feel free to kill off all the Newmans with flesh eating bacteria.

[peacheslatour]

Thanks so much for the re-cap peach!  Thank you for giving us something great to read on this slow, gloomy Sunday in the PNW.

[Petunia13]

You did a great job capturing how idiotic and self absorbed and annoying that twit Summer is.

[movinon]

 

Sharon asks how Faith is.  Full of questions he can’t answer, so what does he tell his little sister?  That her father is a hypocritical, unforgiving asshole.

And maybe her brother is too, just like all the Newman men.  And I liked him.....

[Blueeyes]

Excellent recap as usual Peach!!

 

 

You did a great job capturing how idiotic and self absorbed and annoying that twit Summer is.

 

Like father, like daughter, like son, I guess, lol.

Edited November 9, 2014 by Blueeyes

[PatsyandEddie]

Also, Chuck Pratt, please feel free to kill off all the Newmans with flesh eating bacteria.

 

 

Now Peach, you know better than that! If any family is going to get flesh eating bacteria it will be the Abbotts for their spare parts. The Newmans always have to win "YOUGOTTHAT?"

[peach]

Now Peach, you know better than that! If any family is going to get flesh eating bacteria it will be the Abbotts for their spare parts. The Newmans always have to win "YOUGOTTHAT?"

 

A girl can dream, can't she??

 

Could they at least get drug-resistant gonnorhea?

[Slowpokey]

A girl can dream, can't she??

 

Could they at least get drug-resistant gonnorhea?

I wish something would happen to them at least once and Phyllis too.So sick of the unfairness on this show.

[Petunia13]

Phyllis was put in a coma by fighting in a precarious place (didn't learn from the fight she was at when Dru went poof) and has Summer as a dottir. Yes she has never paid for any of her crimes that's true.

Abby has a BIG MOUTH ! Damn. She can't help herself from blurting everything and prying in everyone's shit. She is the character who should be running GC Buzz or the detective instead of OldAss CW.

[peach]

Mon, Nov 10

 

Phyllis is still admiring her unpawned ring and not admiring the photo of Kelly.  Billy pops in looking for Jack, and she asks him WHAT a photo of Kelly Andrews is doing in Jack’s desk??

 

Jack tells Kelly he has to go tell Phyllis about her.  Wait, Jack!  Kelly has something to say!

 

Mummy Adam is lurking inside the Cathedral of Notre Dame, watching Chelsea and Connor on the nanny cam.  This room is much nicer than his little cubby with the hospital corners on the bed.   Chelsea chatters with Connor about how she’s never seen a little boy with so much stuff.  Well, except for Billy, who keeps bringing his boxes over.  “I think he’s going to feel very much at home here with us.”  Adam crushes his mouse!

 

Stitch works on perfume in the lab.  He has a little blue lab coat now, that says Jabot on it like he works in a gas station.  Momma Maureen comes bursting in the super secure lab.  Please tell her he hasn’t said anything to Victoria!  Ma, he can’t do this right now, he’s working, Ma!  “I HAVE TO KNOW!” she shouts.  He hasn’t told Victoria the truth, but he’s planning to…tonight.   Maureen scowls.

 

Nikki leaves a message for her darling, suffering Nicholas in case he needs anything.  She stares at her vodka, and pours herself a tall one.  Ick, no ice or lime or anything.  Victoria barges in after her visit with Nick at the tack house.  Gosh, she’s so thirsty!  So she grabs someone else’s random glass of “water” to drink.  Victoria, no!!!

 

Nikki snatches it back and says she’ll get her a fresh one…while capping the vodka bottle.  She claims she has a cold, and pours Vicky a new glass from a pitcher on the table.  Vicky thinks maybe she should check in with her doctor.  No, no, she’s SO much more worried about poor Nicholas and the kids.  Vicky says he’s angry, confused, frustrated, hypocritical, all that.  She thinks switching a paternity test so she can have Nick all to herself sounds right up Sharon’s alley. 

 

Yeah, Nikki says she “understands” that Sharon was not well mentally, BUT this is unforgivable, unlike forgivable Nick.  “Don’t get me wrong, I [don’t] sympathize with her issues.  But when you succumb to your demons, you have to be responsible for your actions!” SAYS NIKKI NEWMAN, DRUNKEN MURDERER.  “Dad warned us that Sharon was going to hurt our family,” says Vicky wisely.  “Yes, he did.  We should have listened to that gaslighting sociopath.” 

 

Vicky’s at least going to learn a lesson from this.  Nick let his fickle “love” for Sharon blind him to the truth that she warned him about over and over, so VICKY is not going to let that happen.   Stitch invited her to dinner to tell her The Truth.  Nikki thinks that’s great since she’s been wanting him to be honest with her.  Yeah, but that’s the thing.  How does she know he’s capable of that?  She doesn’t want to give Ben the chance to ruin her life the way Sharon’s ruined poor Nick’s.   Omg, right? His life is TOTALLY RUINED.  So she’s canceling her date.  She refuses to listen to any more of his lies.  Lucky Stitch!

 

Maureen tells Stitch he KNOWS what this is going to do to them!  “It’ll finally make things right,” says Stitch.  She says he doesn’t want to blow everything apart, just when they’re all finally getting close!  “It is the lies that are destroying us, not me,” he says.  She says she never asked him to lie.  But..just keep lying?   “I know. And I don’t blame you for anything that happened the night Dad died.  We both did what we had to do.” TO PROTECT THE FAMILY, shouts Maureen.  And they still have to do that!! 

 

Stitch says he will do whatever he can to look out for her and Kelly, but he’s given up enough!  He loves Victoria and wants a life with her.  He can’t have one unless he tells her everything.  “And then what?” cries Maureen.  “Do you think she’s going to keep what she hears to HERSELF?”  Dumbass Stitch says if he asks her to, then yes!  HA!  “For Godsakes, Ben, WAKE UP!!  Her father is VICTOR NEWMAN.  If she doesn’t tell him (and she will), he will figure it out, and THEN what do you think’s gonna happen?”  Stitch stares…durrr.

 

Jack holds up his hands, and says if Kelly’s gonna try to stop him from telling Phyllis about them… No, no, no.  She thinks he SHOULD.  But she wants him to know she will be there for him.  He should probably leave an advanced directive with her.  He reminds her that he calls Phyllis “Red.”  Yes, she knows, because of her fiery temper!  And bloodlust.  “Yeah, and I think I’m going to get to see that today.”  Kelly says then he’s going to need someplace safe to land in the aftermath.  “I will be here,” says Kelly.  “I may arrive in pieces,” says Jack.  They say all this like it’s normal. 

 

Kelly has experience in picking up the pieces.  She’s been through worse than this, Jack.  Or so she thinks.  “And came through it brilliantly,” he says.  He thanks her.  She makes everything so uncomplicated.  Kelly realizes this is just compared to Phyllis.  “Quantum physics is uncomplicated compared to Phyllis,” says Jack.  “She can’t help herself.  She..manages to hurt people even when she doesn’t mean to.”  I can see why you LOVE HER SO! 

 

Kelly’s like yeah, right.  Phyllis knew exactly what she was doing when she took Sharon to that stairwell.  “She says she did it for me and for Nick and Summer,” who only found them because of Victor.  “She DID IT to GET BACK at Sharon,” says Kelly.   “Can you blame her after everything that Sharon did?”  YES, SHE CAN!  (Go, Kel-ly, go Kel-ly!)  “It was selfish and cruel!  Shaming Sharon in front of you and NICK?  That was clearly more important than what losing your daughter would do to YOU!”  Is it any worse than what Jack is doing to her right now?  “YES, IT IS!  It’s a LOT WORSE!”  (Go, Kel-ly!) 

 

Besides, he said  himself he was waiting to tell her until she was strong  enough to hear the truth, which she clearly is, so now he’s going to go and be honest with her, PRIVATELY.  Jack isn’t sure that will change her reaction.  “Jack, you are doing the right thing…ENDING THINGS.  You’re doing it the right way!  That’s important.”  Uh-oh.  Overassuming.  Jack looks kind of sick.  “Kelly, there’s something you need to know about Phyllis and me.”  I love this crazy red hurtful selfish cruel woman.

 

Phyllis asks Billy what the photo is all about.  Billy’s all, who the hell knows?  He’s more concerned about JACK right now, okay?  Does she have any idea where he is?  Nope, he’s not answering her calls either.  “Can’t say as I blame him,” mumbles Billy.  What was that TONE, asks Phyllis.  She heard some accusation in there.  Ya think?  “You know, Phyllis, you really did a number on him.”  “Are you SERIOUS right now?  SHARON pulls all this crap with the paternity test, and somehow I’m the one being made out to be the villain here?  Really??”  Billy says he knows how much she loves his brother.  “No ya don’t, Billy,” sneers Phyllis.  “NO ONE understands what Jack and I share.  LEAST of all, The Abbotts.”   And Peach. 

 

They have overcome a LOT of obstacles.  Some of them, sure, she caused.  But this last one?  It’s on Sharon, because she stole a year of her life!  “And no one wants to tell me what was going on.  Eeeeveryone’s upset with me for holding back the truth, and yet, I KNOW there are things all of you aren’t telling me!  And if you think this picture here is going to stop me from getting answers, you’re wrong.”  She grabs her coat.  She’s going to FIND Jack and ask him about this.  Billy says, fine, he’ll tell her about the photo.

 

Billy says there’s a perfectly logical reason for this photo being in Jack’s desk.  Um, uh, ummm…  Okay, Phyllis says she has it figured out.  That photo is Billy’s.  And big brother realized he was going to do something stupid with it, like frame it and put on his desk.  So apparent control freak Jack put in his desk so Billy couldn’t make another colossal mistake.  “You’re still sleeping with the tramp, aren’t you?”  Billy’s like…wow.  “I can see a year long coma has not put a damper on your imagination.”  And it doesn’t matter what he says, she won’t believe him. 

 

She says he hasn’t changed either, he’s just as evasive and slippery as ever.  “Kelly and I are just. friends.  SHE didn’t destroy my marriage.  Adam did!”  Phyllis is like, Adam Newman??  Billy sighs.  “Adam killed Delia, and everything else in my life.”  “Delia?” whispers Phyllis.  “Last fall,” says Billy.  Phyllis is stunned.  Omg, how?  Billy says it doesn’t matter…hit and run, and she’s gone, okay?  And he met Kelly in a grief support group. 

 

She moved here after her son died, and she lost her marriage and career.  She wanted to start over, so she came here and is the event planner at the club.  Yeah, Phyllis KNOWS that, but it still doesn’t explain why her picture is in Jack’s desk!!  Which is way more important than the friggin bombshell that Adam killed Delia.   Billy says Jabot does a lot of events with the club and that photo was in their media kit.  Phyllis is like, oh.  Lauren said she’s really good at planning corporate events. Billy agrees.  Phyllis is wondering what else she’s great at.  NOT BEING YOU.

 

Kelly keeps up her sunny confidence even though she can tell Jack is waffling.  He says Phyllis is going to be terribly upset when he tells her they were seeing each other during her coma.  “And that we FELL IN LOVE,” adds Kelly.  Jack says Phyllis has been through a terrible ordeal this year, and he doesn’t want to add to her pain, OR Kelly’s.  Kelly puts on a brave (crazy?) face and says don’t worry about her, SHE is going to be fine.  

 

Jack is just sayin’ he doesn’t know how this is going to turn out.  Kelly refuses to hear what he’s just sayin.’  “However Phyllis takes the news, it’s not going to change things between us.”  “You don’t know that,” says Jack.  Yes, she does.  Because she loves you, Jack.  And you love her, right?  Yes, he says.  Then everything is going to be okay.  She plants a big ole kiss on him. 

 

Adam watches Connor play with his elephant.  He’s slept with it every day since Daddy died.  Chelsea wishes he could have seen Daddy’s gentle side, and that Daddy could see him.  She’s going to make sure Connor knows all about him and how much he loved him.  But… you have Billy now!  He’s not your dad, but he cares so much about you!  “I’m hoping Billy’s in our lives for a very long time.”  Johnny, etc.  “The four of us could be a real family.”  Adam slams the laptop closed.  He staggers to his feet but collapses on the floor.  Sounds like it hurts.  I guess if you didn’t want her to move on, you could have told her that YOU’RE ALIVE, idiot.

 

Jack pushes off Kissin’ Kelly.  She gets it, he feels guilty, she laughs.  Ha…ha.  “Someone I love is about to be hurt very deeply,” he says seriously.  “And the fact that you’re concerned just shows what a good man you are.”  He feels anything but.  Kelly says whatever happens with Phyllis, he is not to blame.  He wishes that made him feel better.  She says it’s an illusion that we’re in control of our lives and sometimes things just happen.  So all we can do is let go of the bad things like Phyllis, and hang on to the good things like her.  That’s how she’s survived, by just hanging on.  As long as they do that together, everything will be okay.  Jack looks like it was nice knowing Kelly.

 

Billy says Phyllis is just as paranoid and suspicious as ever.  Always ready and MORE than willing to take the low road.  Only when she has reason to be, she says.  And she can still tell when he’s covering something up.  He says it takes a liar to know one.  She says he forgets how she and Nick got together.  They thought it was one night of grief, but look how that ended up…twenty years of neverending torment, plus whiny Summer. 

 

“With me and Kelly, it was just one night. That’s it.”  Then she is sorry that he lost so much from that night.  She knows how much he loves Victoria.  “Well, you know me, undisputed champ of screwing up a good thing.”  He starts to leave, and she says words can’t express how sorry she is about Delia.  He nods and leaves.   She stares at Kelly’s photo some more.

 

Stitch says if Maureen is so worried, why doesn’t she come along on this truth telling dinner and give her side of the story.  Mo almost has a friggin’ stroke at that idea.  She’s SCARED!  For Stitch and Kelly.  She gets that he wants to tell her, but Victor Newman is going to use that information to DESTROY THEM!!  Umm, why?  “You don’t know Victoria,” insists Stitch.  Aaaand neither does he.  But he thinks that once she realizes what this could do to their family, she’ll keep his secret. 

 

Mo’s like, so what’s she going to say to HER FAMILY when they ask why she’s with HIM!  Stitch defiantly says she’ll tell them to mind their own business!  Hahahahaha…ahh, wiping a tear from my eye.  Mo also finds this ridiculous.  She puts her face in her hands.  “OHHH, Ben!  They’re Newmans! They’re used to getting what they want!  DON’T DO THIS, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!!”  Omg, this is the point where people usually get a hypodermic needle.  He says she’s getting all worked up over nothing.  It will be okay, just trust him.  She switches tactics.  It’s probably moot, because if the baby isn’t his, there’s no point in telling anyone anything.  She’ll just end up with Billy anyway.  Stitch is like thanks a lot.

 

“Darling, I thought you wanted Stitch to be honest with you,” says Nikki.  But, Mo-om, how does she know he will be?  Nikki’s like isn’t that why he asked you out, to tell you everything?  Why don’t you want to give him the chance to do that?   Blah blah, Ben lied, blah.  That’s what Abby thinks!  “Since when do you let others make decisions for you, particularly ABBY?”  IKR?  Nikki says he may have a good reason for why he hasn’t told her.  “Mom, he always has a good reason for lying.  Just like Billy did!”  But he’s NOT Billy.  Vicky quizzes him about that thing she was going to tell her.  Nikki just thinks he’s a good person, a very good doctor, and he loves her.   “He killed his father!” says Victoria.  “Maybe he didn’t!” blurts Nikki.

 

Jack and Phyllis meet up back at the mansion.  She says Billy told her about Delia.  Jack says Billy wanted to tell her himself, it seemed like the right thing.  It did?  Why would a grieving parent want to retell that?  Phyllis says she didn’t think it came out how he planned. 

 

Jack says it didn’t take long for her to go back to her old habits.  As in instantly.  She says tell her she didn’t screw things up for them.  He needs her to tell him something first.  “How could you do that??  You knew what losing Summer would do to me!  You could have told me in PRIVATE that she wasn’t my daughter.  Instead you made it about YOU!  Not even giving a THOUGHT as to the pain that setting up that stunt in the stairwell caused ME or anybody else!”

 

Yes, says Phyllis.  “I was CONSUMED with [evil] making sure Sharon got what she deserved!  She stole a year from my life!”  “And getting even with her was more important than ANYTHING, including MY feelings,” says Jack.  “YES!” shouts Phyllis.  “And I’m SORRY I hurt your feelings!” It doesn’t really sound like it.  “I’m SORRY I didn’t tell you first.  But she needed to feel some PAIN.  That is only fair!”  And that pain had to be inflicted by YOU? 

 

“Yeah, YEAH!!” screams Phyllis, “BECAUSE THAT’S WHO I AM!!”  Jack stares at her.  She totally wigs out.  “I LET MY ANGER, AND AND AND MY FEAR JUST BLIND ME TO EVERYTHING!  AND YOU KNOW WHY?!  BECAUSE I DO STUPID AND CRAZY THINGS!  AND YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT!  AND IF YOU DON’T, THEN YOU TELL ME WHO THE HELL YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH!!”  This is the thing with narcissists.  “Loved ones” are always surprised when THEY get the selfish treatment, but the narcissist isn’t surprised at all. 

 

“I fell in love with you,” says Jack quietly.  He should probably seek counseling for that.  “I fell in love with you and all your stubbornness and tense, headstrong, misguided passion.”  An ass, basically.   She cries and says she knows that she’s stubborn, and that she can be evil, I mean, misguided.  But she IS passionate.  She’s passionate!  Well, so was Hitler.  She starts trying to get… passionate, but Jack just can’t…he’s um, all sweaty from the gym.  Wow, that’s a bad excuse.  She’s like…the gym at the club?  Yeah, he was, um, working out a little frustration.  He needs to take a shower.  An old school cheater like Phyllis knows what that means.

 

Stitch tells Maureen that he loves Vicky and wants a life with her even if the baby is Billy’s.  Maureen is deflated.  He has to go back to work.  He hugs her and promises everything’s going to be okay.  She walks off like she’s going to jump off a bridge.

 

“Ben didn’t kill his father??” asks Victoria.  “That’s NOT what I said,” backtracks Nikki.  Just, um, maybe he’s innocent!  Vicky’s like, he CONFESSED.  He served time!  He stole someone else’s identity to cover it up.  Why would he do all that if he was innocent?  Nikki stammers and stutters about hearing something, but never mind, she really shouldn’t say anything.  “WHY NOT, Mom?”  Because HE should be the one telling her this.  Would she please go to dinner with him tonight, and let him tell her everything about the night his father was killed.  No.  Special Snowflake is NOT going.  She can’t wait until then, she needs to hear it NOW!  She rushes off.

 

Sage rushes in to find Adam on the floor.  Egads, what was he doing?  Is he planning on going somewhere?   He grunts and breathes heavily.

 

Chelsea cleans up the nursery and tries to get a balloon down from the ceiling that’s caught on a hanging airplane.  THE CAMERA FALLS DOWN!  She’s like WTH?  Billy comes in.  He tells her running into Phyllis was fun.  She shows him the camera.  He says it looks like a high tech nanny cam.  She found it in the light fixture.  She guesses Adam put it there.  “Paranoid on top of being a soulless jerk,” says Billy.  Hey, that kid HAS been kidnapped twice. 

 

Chelsea says he was protective of his son, he must have wanted to keep an eye on the nannies.  Billy says are you sure he wasn’t watching YOU?  He didn’t tell her it was there.  Maybe he didn’t want her to worry, says Chelsea.  Maybe he was a desperate control freak, says Billy.  “Even beyond the grave he’s keeping an eye on us.”  Adam’s dead, says Chelsea, he’s not spying on anyone anymore.  She’s upset.

 

Adam lays in bed and feels sorry for himself.  Some dude that’s supposed to be watching him says he just stepped out for a minute, he didn’t expect him to try and get up.  Sage says he’s getting stronger since his last surgery.  He’s turned a corner, so Sage will take it from here from now on.  She hands Watchman Dude an envelope of cash and says his services aren’t needed anymore.  Watchman Dude seems kind of upset about it.  He pats Adam’s foot and says, “Good luck, man.”  He leaves.  Sage straightens his blankets and Adam suddenly grabs her arm!  She’s surprised.  “Help me!” he says.  She holds his hand.  Where the hell is his dorky henchman?

 

Stitch comes to visit Kelly in her office.  She hopes he doesn’t want to talk about Mom and ruin her delusional good mood.  Nope, he needs a dinner reservation for two in a private dining room.  She can swing that, but what’s the occasion?   Ruining your life.  “I’m going to make Victoria understand what kind of man I really am.”  Duuumb.

 

Victoria shows up at Jabot looking for Stitch, and runs into Maureen.  She says she just missed him.  Vicky asks if he went to the club, because she was supposed to meet him for dinner.  Oh, about that, Stitch asked her to tell Vicky he can’t make it.  Really?  When she unexpectedly met her in a hallway?  But Vicky listens to Mo say that Stitch has a late business meeting with Ashley and won’t be reachable.  Vicky asks why he didn’t call and tell her?  Oh, there was just no time.  So he relied on his mom finding her instead. 

 

Yet again, Idiot Vicky tells Maureen that Stitch wanted to discuss something important with her about his secret past.   She thinks she knows what it is!  And if she’s right, then Mo will be as happy and relieved as she is!   Mo’s like, do tell.  Vicky thinks there’s a possibility that Ben did not kill his father!!  Isn’t that great!  I wonder who did?  Mo’s like, super.

 

Jack comes down in a fresh suit.  He’s on the phone with the office.  Doggone it, he gave everyone the day off for Veteran’s Day, he’ll have to get right in.  Phyllis brings him some ginger ale as a peace offering.  “Is this your way of apologizing?”  “That’s as close as you’re gonna get,” says Phyllis.  He accepts Phyllis’ crumbs.  He’s gotta go, a plant is down.  But he’ll be back as quickly as he can, and then they need to talk about a few things.  “Should I be worried?” asks Phyllis.  He’ll tell her when he gets back.  Poor Jack, he left his cell phone behind.  Business Icon Jack uses Summer’s birthday for his password.  KELLY is on his contact list. 

 

Adam’s flailing around back at the castle, because he’s gotta get out of there.  He’s got a life.  He’s got to see his son and his wife!  Sage settles him down and says she will take him in the car, and they can drive into town and think of a way to see Chelsea and Connor.  He thanks her.  She jabs him with a hypodermic!  Haha, somebody’s getting one today!  He stares at her in disbelief.  “What are you doing??” he whispers.  “Not now,” says Sage, “soon.”  I don’t think you’re going anywhere, Mr. Man.

 

Chelsea and Billy gush over Connor.  It’s amazing, the heart’s capacity to love.  They kiss.  Good thing the camera’s down.

 

Nikki drinks vodka and tries to call Maureen.  She leaves a message that Victoria’s been asking a lot of questions about Ben and the night his father was killed.  And, um, some things just…came out, and now she’s gone looking for Ben.  Just promise her that if things go haywire, she won’t tell anyone she’s been drinking.  ESPECIALLY HER FAMILY.  I’m sure that’s top of her list of problems right now, Nikki.

 

Maureen asks Vicky why she would say something like THAT?  Vicky thought she’d be happy if Ben didn’t kill his father.  Well, she would be if it were true, but it’s NOT, nope, uh-uh.  Vicky asks if Mo was there that night.  Nope, but Ben told her what happened, and the police, why would he lie?  Rocket Scientist Vicky is getting suspicious.  MAYBE Ben was trying to cover for somebody that he wanted to protect.  Like…his sister.  Maureen freaks out.  “YOU KEEP KELLY OUT OF THIS!”  Omg, says Vicky.  Ben didn’t kill his father…Kelly did!

 

Kelly’s reserved a table for nosy Victoria and Stitch right now.  She hopes it goes really well and he can have all the love and happiness she has.  Does that mean Jack told Phyllis about her?   Optimistic Kelly smiles and says hopefully he’s breaking her black heart right now.   “So he chose you over Phyllis,” says Stitch with a brotherly smirk.  “Come on.  It’s gonna happen!” she says.  After all the pain and heartbreaks she’s been through, she is finally going to get her happy ever after.   Possibly in an unmarked grave.

 

Phyllis goes through Jack’s phone.  Hmm, lots of voice mails from Kelly.  “Hi,” says that honey voice.  “I know we just saw each other…but I miss you.”  She’s like WTF??  She sees a text from Kelly that says “I love you.”  And Jack’s answer.  “I love you, too.”  Phyllis COLLAPSES in a chair.  She finally looks scared.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Mummy Adam is lurking inside the Cathedral of Notre Dame

No kidding on the size of that house. Are we to believe that there are castles out in the wilds of Wisconsin? (And of course I googled it, and yes there are. Yikes.) Why don't the Newmans live in one instead of that silly "ranch".

 

I don’t think you’re going anywhere, Mr. Man.

Heh, yeah Adam's in misery for sure.

[peach]

No kidding on the size of that house. Are we to believe that there are castles out in the wilds of Wisconsin? (And of course I googled it, and yes there are. Yikes.) Why don't the Newmans live in one instead of that silly "ranch".

 

Heh, yeah Adam's in misery for sure.

Right?  The Newmans are paupers compared to Crazy Sage.  Seriously, that looks like a much better abode for Grampire.

No kidding on the size of that house. Are we to believe that there are castles out in the wilds of Wisconsin? (And of course I googled it, and yes there are. Yikes.) Why don't the Newmans live in one instead of that silly "ranch".

 

Heh, yeah Adam's in misery for sure.

Right?  The Newmans are paupers compared to Crazy Sage.  Seriously, that looks like a much better abode for Grampire.

[glowlights]

Stitch works on perfume in the lab.  He has a little blue lab coat now, that says Jabot on it like he works in a gas station.

 

Hey, I was IMPRESSED that the Fisher Price My First Perfume Lab comes with a lab coat! Safety goggles sold separately, I suppose.

 

“She DID IT to GET BACK at Sharon,” says Kelly.   “Can you blame her after everything that Sharon did?”  YES, SHE CAN!  (Go, Kel-ly, go Kel-ly!)

 

I have never cared about Kelly until this scene, and then I was cheering. Can she please appear in some other scenes with other characters who need a reality check? Start with Victor and work her way down...

 

And yeah, um, about Phyllis's scary, threatening freak out... it didn't make a lot of sense to me in the context of that scene. Also on the subject of Phyllis: the minute Billy told her that Delia was killed was the moment she needed to SHUT UP about Kelly and all that shit. The way she gave her condolences as an after thought when he left? Ugh.

 

(I just googled Wisconsin castles. Jesus christ it really is a thing. WHY.)

[movinon]

 

“Dad warned us that Sharon was going to hurt our family,” says Vicky wisely.  “Yes, he did.  We should have listened to that gaslighting sociopath.”

Peach - your recaps are the only thing that makes this show bearable for me.  The idea of Vicky saying anything wisely cracks me up, and the description of Victor is spot-on - just not bad enough.  I can't believe they are all right back in his corner, just like a nest of spiders.