Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[peach]

Tue, Aug 19, 2014   The Plot Actually Thickens In The Longest Recap Because There Was A Fight!

 

Okay, let’s get this party started.  Quick replay of Mariah running down the stairs in lingerie, saying “I’ve got a surprise for you!”  Sharon is indeed surprised.

 

Nick is knocking on the hotel room door at the GCAC.  “Thank God you’re here,” he says to GRACE TURNER.  Did I say Mariah was wearing lingerie?  Mariah’s wearing a slip.  Grace is wearing lingerie.  Like the deluxe cover of Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie, complete with boobage spilling out.  “You call, I come running,” she purrs, grabbing Nick by the shirt and tossing him in the room.  Wow. 

 

She’s all over him, saying she never thought they’d be doing this again.  Nick’s like, whoa.  “This is not a booty call.  I need some information.”  I guess he should have been more specific on the phone.  She is still all over him, but Faithful Nick says this is not the kind of comfort he’s interested in. 

 

“What the hell,” says Sharon.  “Oh, Sharon, um, I..was expecting this guy, from the club, I, um, uh, met him the other night.”  Sharon’s like..some guy?  Oh, yeah, he just would not stop flirting with her.  Sharon thinks back to Mariah prancing around in her tank and booty shorts the last time she came home early, and is doing the math. (I wish she would do her hair like that again.)  Mariah keeps babbling lies, and Sharon is pissed!  “STOP IT, Mariah!  There was no guy from the club.  You were going to try to seduce NICK!”   Oh, it is ON, you guys.  Mariah can gaslight, torment, steal, lie, whatever, but she CANNOT go after NICK.

 

Michael has arrived at suite at the club, looking for Lauren.  She rushes in behind him.  Oh NO!  She was supposed to get there first and set the scene!  I think being present is probably the only scene a guy really needs for a romantic surprise.  So..they finally have an empty nest, but go to a hotel instead.  Probably to hide from Nikki.  I’ll just go ahead and tell you most of today’s Michael & Lauren lovefest scenes are designed to periodically get in the way of our showdown with Sharon and Mariah, so I’m not bothering with them.  

 

Billy shows up at Chelsea’s design loft.  She’s like what are you doing here, we just left each other.  Jack called him and said Neil’s out of commission.  He wants Billy to handle the production meeting, because everyone else must be out with blindness too.  He has no details on Neil’s problem, probably because he didn’t ask, but Jack wanted him to go debrief with Chelsea before the meeting, “which is a lot like asking Johnny Depp to go work on an oil rig.”  “You’re comparing yourself to Johnny Depp?” asks Chelsea.  Actually, he’s comparing you to an oil rig.  “Nooo,” lies bashful Billy.  They giggle.  Poor Billy feels out of his element.  He says in R&D, he can fake his way through an intelligent conversation, but ladies fashions, not so much.  Oh, so is this the guy who grabbed her sketch pad and told her designing was so easy?  She can tell him he’s wrong later, right now she has 15 minutes to tell him everything she knows about fashion.  Here’s a craaazy idea, how about if Chelsea goes to the meeting?

 

Poor Stitch is turning in his ID and pager to security, “along with whatever’s left of his pride.”  The security guard feels bad and says his son just made all state, and if it weren’t for Stitch he wouldn’t be walking, much less playing shortstop and batting .454.  (.454??  Exaggerate much?) Stitch was saving lives and baseball careers and now it’s over.  Thanks, Billy.  Victoria comes rushing in, panting and holding her belly.  She’s so scared…the baby…there’s something wrong!

 

Victoria called her doctor and Abby, and they’re on the way.  Stitch calmly sits her down and says he will stay right with her.  He asks questions about her symptoms and is calming her down.  He fruitlessly reaches for his pager, so he’ll just have to wing it, IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM, three feet from the counter.  He’s looking very Brett Favre today, in a good way, if we forget the weird stuff.  Abby comes bursting in.  “Get away from her!!  Now!”  Stitch just looks at her like, what is your damage??

 

Grace complains that Nick used to be fun.  He says he used to be a lot of things, but he grew up , and he left a lot of that behind him. She’s still the coquette, asking if it’s hot in there, or is it just her?   Fun flashback time!  Nick and Grace, 20 years ago, in some too hot room where she’s rubbing ice on them.  Oh, Nick, rub this all over your body, it feels so wonderful.  I guess that would stick in your mind.  Present day Grace can see she’s getting to him, and offers him a mimosa. 

 

Look, Grace, Nick and Sharon are back together, and he intends to make it work this time.  Grace seems amused.  She asks how is her former best friend?  “She’s so hard to keep up with, since first she married you…and then your brother…and then your father..and now she’s back with you.  That’s a Newman trifecta, isn’t it?”  Grace is rubbing her stilettos on Nick’s leg.  He says Sharon’s doing very well.   Okay, so she “hit a rough patch” when she married all the men in the family, but she’s doing a lot better now, and so are their kids.  That’s why he called her.  It’s about Cassie. 

 

Cassie?  Grace turns off the sexpot act.  She says that was a terrible tragedy.  Grace tears up and says she never got to tell him in person how sorry she was.  Nick says he and Sharon both know she loved her too.  I truly did, says Grace. 

 

HISTORY LESSON:  “You were the one who tracked Cassie down after Sharon gave her up for adoption.  You found her with Alice, in that rundown house, and her mother was there, and it was in Madison.”  Millie? says Grace.  My God, it’s been years since she thought of those two.  She gets the feeling Nick didn’t send the jet just to reminisce.  Why this sudden urge to bring up painful memories?

 

Sharon throws a blanket at Mariah.  “Why don’t you cover yourself up?” she sneers.  Sharon, wait, this guy, his name is Dave!  She thought Sharon and Nick would be gone for the day!  “STOP LYING!” shouts Sharon.  “You thought that I would be gone for the day!  You assumed that was Nick here!”  Mariah says she’s got it all wrong.  “After I bail you out of jail, I take you in, I bought you clothes, I DEFENDED you!  And this is how you pay me back?!  You try and seduce Nick, and PLEASE don’t insult my intelligence and say that’s not what you were doing.”  You cannot fool Sharon when it comes to Nick.

 

There’s a long pause.  Then Mariah decides the best defense is a good offense.  “FINE!  You’re RIGHT.  And it’s been going on a lot longer than you realize!”  Sharon’s like, nice try.  NOTHING has been going on, except maybe in Mariah’s fantasies.  “Do you really think that Nick would cheat on me?  With YOU?  My God, you look like his daughter!!” “But I’m NOT his daughter,” shouts Mariah, “and you don’t deserve him!  He is WAY better off with ME!”  Sharon’s like, wow.

 

Chelsea tells Billy that no two designers have the same process.  Well, Billy is interested in her, uh, he means her process.  She begins talking about inspiration, accessories, blah blah blah.  What does any of this have to do with production?  Don’t they just have to choose which third world sweatshop they’re using?  She says nature is inspiring, but he says it wasn’t working for her the other day when he stopped by to unblock her.  (That was half an hour ago.  Read for continuity, show!!)  You’ll have to watch it yourself if you’re interested in their cutie pie bantering. 

 

Basically, Chelsea gets an idea, and then she sketches it, and then she refines the drawing, and then she looks at fabric.  Omg, this is like going to fashion school FOR FREE.  She shows him fabric…and THEIR HANDS TOUCH.  Oh, my.  Then they make a pattern, and then they find a manufacturer.  She shows him the designs that are going to be discussed at the meeting today, if he wants to go over them.  Wait, why isn’t she going to the meeting again?  Billy takes the sketches and says, “Beautiful.”  But he’s looking at Chelsea.

 

Vicky’s still in physical distress, and tells wacky Abby that Stitch just happened to be there when she came in, and she was grateful to see a familiar face who is a good-looking doctor and possibly the father of this child.  Abby says even if HE is the one stressing you out?  Seems like he’s only stressing Abby out.  She asks what he’s even doing there anyway.  Vicky says don’t do this now, Abby, she’s glad Stitch is there.  “Thank you.  I’VE got it from here,” says Abby, who has a hearing problem of some sort.  The doctor rushes in and takes Vicky to an exam room.  Abby glares at Stitch like he’s causing abdominal cramps now.  Vicky is freaking out, because this is exactly how she felt before, when she lost her baby.  :-(

 

Billy says these are GREAT sketches, even a walking fashion disaster like him can see how talented she is.  So about this meeting, he asks.  How can he [make it more about him] contribute other than just taking notes to help out Neil? That’s easy, says Chelsea, don’t talk.  Billy?  He says keeping his mouth shut isn’t his strong suit, as their doctor friend found out the hard way. 

 

“Do you regret it?” asks Chelsea, “telling his boss about all his lies, [actually]potentially ruining his career?”  Hey,  he’s not the one who told Dr. Barton Shelby.  Stitch gave him the file himself.  Chelsea’s like, stop bullshitting.  And would he do it differently, given the chance?  NO.  Because he realized why Stitch’s ex didn’t want that guy anywhere near their son, she didn’t want that hanging over his head.  JUST LIKE it’s going to be hanging over Victoria’s child if it turns out to be Rayburn’s instead of his. Which is your fault, Billy, because YOU TOLD EVERYONE!

 

Stabby is at it again.  Abby says if he got fired, then why is he still there?  Stitch says he thinks they reached their limit of sharing earlier at the club.  So how about they just wait for Victoria and not talk.  She says he was sure acting like a doctor, is it wise to be practicing medicine without a license?  He still has that license at the moment, girlfriend.  He’s acting like someone who cares about Victoria and the baby, and he’s not going to stop loving them no matter what happens. 

 

The doctor examines weeping Victoria.

 

Nick is showing Grace some photos of Mariah on his phone.  She can’t believe it.  This is exactly how she would picture Cassie if she had grown up. Nick says sometimes when he’s with Mariah, he feels like his daughter is sitting right in front of him.   It’s not just the way she looks, it’s her voice and mannerisms.  Grace reminds him that Victor did hire her to play the part.  Nick says they moved her in so he could figure out her story, and Ian, etc.  Grace says it must be like living with a ghost.  He says there are too many things that don’t add up, too many questions and coincidences.  He needs to know every single thing she can remember about the day Cassie was born.

 

Sharon is like, bitch, please.  “You poor, delusional thing.  You actually believe that you could seduce Nick away from me?”  Oh, she sees all the signs now, all the being alone with Nick, all the helping.  “My God.  You baked him a peach pie!”  She says every insignificant thing Nick did, every thank you or cutting her a break, Mariah inflated in her mind.  “Let me give you a CLUE, Mariah.  Nick has only been putting up with you here for MY sake, because I wanted TO HELP YOU!!!!” she yells.  Omg, she is so pissed.  Mariah clearly didn’t know about this Sharon.  She ain’t all ice cream and shopping sprees, girl.

 

But Mariah can street fight, and she’s doubling down. “Putting up with ME?  You have GOT to be kidding me!”  She has seen how Nick is with poor Sharon, holding her hand, protecting her from Victor. “But we both know that THAT is an ACT.  You POURED your heart out to me at the cemetery about this HORRIBLE thing you’re hiding from Nick! You’re like a loaded weapon ready to go off and ruin Nick’s life!”  STOP IT, says Sharon. 

 

Mariah thinks Sharon can remember whatever horrible thing she did, and she’s just PRETENDING she can’t because she knows her WORST FEAR would be realized if Nick dumped her.  Ooo, she’s stabbing Sharon where it hurts.  She’s still crazy though.  She’s ranting that Sharon might see her as her precious little girl, but that is NOT how Nick looks at her.  He WANTS her, and if HE had been the one who walked through that door… Sharon raises her hand to slap her! “Don’t…you…dare,” says Sharon.  Mariah looks kind of scared.

 

Uh-oh.  Michael, can’t, um,… do it.  He’s pretty frigging upset about it.  Lauren comforts him.  She says it’s not a case to win.  It will be okay.  There are other ways to be together.  Yeah, it’s available from your doctor.  Also, Fenmore likes college.

 

Sharon says Mariah doesn’t DESERVE to look like Cassie.  She had convinced Sharon that she felt TERRIBLE about what she had done to her…pretending to be her little girl, pushing her to the brink!  Mariah looks a tiny bit mollified.  Sharon says she knows Mariah had no one growing up, except for Ian Ward who is a horrible man, and she knows her mother was absent and might as well have been dead, and she knows she’s STARVING for LOVE, but..

 

“You don’t know me!” shouts Mariah.  “SO, SHUT UP!”  Everything Sharon thinks about her is all in her HEAD!  She didn’t have to drive Sharon insane, she was already there!  “I told you,” she spits, “I am NOT your beloved Cassie!  I’M NOTHING LIKE HER!” 

 

“AND THAT. IS PAINFULLY. CLEAR TO ME!!” shouts Sharon.  “Cassie would have grown up to be a KIND, AND GENEROUS YOUNG LADY!  NOT SOMEBODY WHO USES ….HER MISFORTUNE!  For being a THIEF, or a liar…or a TRAMP!!!”  Mariah stares, and her eyes glaze with tears.

 

Grace asks what the deal is with this Ward guy he keeps mentioning.  He tries to give her a summary of Ian Ward, including his rise from cult leader to self-help guru.   He’s as slick as they come, and all bad news…except when it comes to Mariah.  She sees him as a father, and he’s extremely protective of her.  And now Mariah’s mother’s involved (you involved her), which, there’s a story there too, because Mariah said her mother was dead.  Grace is like, wow, this is a lot, but who does he think Mariah is?

 

Nick knows that Grace was there when Cassie was born.  She was Sharon’s BEST FRIEND, Sharon trusted her more than anyone.  Grace is like, we were SIXTEEN.  It was eons ago.  But Nick needs her to think back, focus on that day.  Is there anything she can remember?  Sharon was in a hospital, so does she remember who the doctor was.  No…but there was this nurse. This weird, new agey chick with the spookiest green eyes.  And can you believe she remembers her name?  She does.  It was HELEN.  Nick is like oh.my.god.  That is Mariah’s MOTHER.  She was there when Cassie was born???

 

Billy says he told Victoria he would love the child no matter whose it was.  But after a while he admitted he wasn’t sure.  Chelsea says she couldn’t ask for better parents for Johnny, so it would be kind of good if they did stay together.  He promises Johnny will always be cared for.  She knows that, his commitment to Johnny has never wavered.  Doesn’t he have to go to a meeting?

 

Billy admits that as hard as he has WORKED on this marriage, the idea of raising Stitch’s kid…ugh.  It would almost be like when Victoria had to raise that kid of Chelsea’s.  It means he’s gonna be a part of their family forever.  A constant reminder, a constant THREAT, really, because he’s never going to stop pursuing Victoria.  So, basically, Billy made his usual false promises and screwed up everything for everybody for no reason.

 

Chelsea’s like, well, I think she’s always been a little threatened by me.  Just sayin.’  Billy says she was just a little insecure because of the [rape] adoption and how he screwed it up with Lucy. She knows Chelsea was never out to break up their marriage.  Chelsea’s like, mm hmm.  Eventually Vicky realized Chelsea just wanted what’s best for Johnny, for him to be raised in a loving, stable home with two parents.  Instead, she gave him to them.

 

Billy can’t keep pretending he’s this selfless, noble guy.  The truth is, he’s known all along he couldn’t do it.  Wow, really, everyone else was so convinced.  “I can’t raise that man’s child.”  NO ONE is asking you to, dumbass.

 

Abby…is just getting stupid now.  She tells Stitch he should reinvent himself, somewhere far away.  It’s not that difficult.  Stitch is rolling his eyes while Abby explains she’s done it several times herself. Well, not the fraudulent part, the reinvent part, which is easy when you’re a semi-crazy double heiress.  She asks if he really wants to be known as the guy who broke up a marriage?  Let Victoria and Billy have the happiness that he and his wife and kid couldn’t.  What an amazing sales pitch.  She’s like, hey, you’re still young, fit, somewhat good-looking. You could find someone new.  Stitch is about to retort when the doctor walks up.  Is Victoria okay?!?  She’ll let Victoria tell them herself while she gets the paperwork started.  Stabby rushes to her room.

 

Victoria’s crying but says she’s so relieved!  Everything’s fine.  But because of her history, they have to keep her there with a fetal monitor.   Everyone is happy.  Abby hugs her, and Stitch excuses himself.

 

Grace can remember that spooky nurse, Helen, was a real control freak.  When it came time to actually deliver, Helen made everyone leave.  It was like they couldn’t get it over fast enough.  Grace figured it was because they didn’t want anyone to bond with the baby because it was going up for adoption.  They wouldn’t even let them SEE the baby or tell them the gender.  Nick is like, holy cow.  He thanks Grace for being a huge help and they hug.

 

Mariah’s digging into Sharon again.  “Even if you do convince Nick to marry you, it’s not going to be long before he regrets it!  HE’S ONLY WITH YOU BECAUSE HE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU!” She screams for a while about how Sharon’s going to ruin everything and knows it’s true and is shocked to hear it out loud.  “You’ve got blinders on!” screams Mariah.  “WELL, NOT ANYMORE!” yells Sharon. 

 

Mariah sneers that this whole kindness thing is an ACT, which she probably believes since she acts that way herself.  “You don’t care about anybody but yourself!  You’re nothing but a SELFISH BITCH!”  Sharon looks like she might take his expensive ingrate down, but instead yells for her to get out of this house. RIGHT NOW!  “I don’t EVER want to see you again!”  Works for me, says Mariah, and she runs off.

 

Stitch watches Victoria through the window and then stares at Billy’s number on his phone.  IKR?  How would Billy’s number be on his phone?  Should he “Add To Favorites?” He’s struggling with calling. 

 

Chelsea thinks Billy’s getting ahead of himself.  He’s sorry he even brought it up.  He has to go do that work thing now.  She says okay, boss.  Oh, he likes that, even if it’s only for 60 minutes.  She says he can do a lot of damage in 60 minutes (or even 6), but she adjusts his tie to make him look competent.  They stare.  His phone rings.  “What. The hell.” says Billy.  I guess he has Stitch’s number, too.  Stitch tells Billy about Victoria’s scare with the baby and how she’s doing now.  Abby has come out in the hallway to overhear this selfless gesture.  Billy’s forced to thank Stitch for calling.  Victoria’s nail polish matches her hospital gown.

 

Lauren was just pretending, and she’s actually really saddened about the tragedy of their downer love tryst, and Michael knows it.  Omg, take a pill. 

 

Mariah comes down with her stuff, and throws the clothes Sharon bought her at her feet.  She walks out, and Sharon kicks the clothes.  She sits down, angry and bummed out.  Nick calls and leaves her a message.  He isn’t going to be home tonight, and maybe not tomorrow.  He has to go out of town and take care of something, and he’s sorry.  It can’t wait.

Edited August 20, 2014 by peach

[peacheslatour]

 

Victoria’s nail polish matches her hospital gown.

That has to be the cutest hospital gown ever!

[photo fox]

The security guard feels bad and says his son just made all state, and if it weren’t for Stitch he wouldn’t be walking, much less playing shortstop and batting .454.  (.454??  Exaggerate much?)

 

I RME at that one, too. The kid wan't supposed to walk, and instead he's playing All-State levels of baseball. Can't that be enough? Does he have to have an average a pro would envy? Guh.

 

HISTORY LESSON:  “You were the one who tracked Cassie down after Sharon gave her up for adoption.  You found her with Alice, in that rundown house, and her mother was there, and it was in Madison.”  Millie? Says Grace.  My God, it’s been years since she thought of those two.  She gets the feeling Nick didn’t send the jet just to reminisce.  Why this sudden urge to bring up painful memories?

 

Thanks for this! I could have sworn she said "Really?" which would make NO sense. I thought I had missed a plot line and Grace also had some kind of memory loss. lol

[peach]

I RME at that one, too. The kid wan't supposed to walk, and instead he's playing All-State levels of baseball. Can't that be enough? Does he have to have an average a pro would envy? Guh.

IKR?  I don't care if there are missing twins, and forgotten births, and faked deaths, people falling off cliffs, and all that stuff, that's what I like about soaps, actually, the OTT happenings like that.  It's fun.  But somehow, these things I must call out. LOL  Anyway, I guess the takeaway here is the world may lose the next Mickey Mantle because of Billy Abbott.

[peach]

Wed, Aug 20, 2014

 

Paul and Christine stand tensely in the courthouse elevator.  She’s ready for the occasion in GCRB.  The doors open, and they are bombarded by the press.  Chris says no comment, but Paul wants to make a statement thanking everyone at the hospital, etc, for his recovery.  “Including your son, Dylan McAvoy?  How humiliating is it to know that Nikki Newman kept your love child a secret from you?”   I bet Chris paid him to ask that.  Paul says no comment! Kidding!  It’s Paul.

 

“Humiliating??  I don’t understand the word humiliating.  I was very disappointed that my son is a stranger to me.  It didn’t have to be this way.”   Thanks for the dirty laundry update.  Nikki has come around the corner looking pretty, except for a hundred pound pearl necklace monstrosity.  She looks crushed.  By Paul, not the necklace.

 

Dylan’s pouting at Crimson Lights in a very sharp suit.  Avery comes in, wearing a killer red dress. These are some stylish witnesses.  She got his text last night saying he wasn’t coming home.  Dylan blames broken coffee shops and bad plumbing.  Is there an army cot in there or something?  That would be so Dylan.  She accuses him of being angry with her for supporting Austin.  Yes, I am, says Dylan.  (Did his hair get darker?)  He says, you want to explain to me how as tough, and as fiery, and as moral as you are, how you can stand up for everyone else but yourself?

 

Austin’s getting ready for his Malibu Trial.  He’s much too cute to be convicted.  Summer demonstrates executive tie tying.  He says she’s good at keeping him from freaking out.  Since Summer is emotionally 12 years old, she asks if Austin, who’s staring down 20 years in prison, is going to stop loving her today.  Because, that would like totally be like the worst.  Never, he says.  Pwetty Pwincess smiles.  Good, then she won’t stop loving him.  So everything’s fine.

 

Victor’s outside Summer’s door, on the phone with Dr. Cutler.  He wants to let him know he’ll have the medical authorization for Phyllis’s treatment very soon.  Jack comes out of the elevator.  “I should have known you’d pull something like this.”  Victor looks around, like how did Jack get here?

 

Lily’s wearing a gorgeous navy and red patterned dress that must be from the von Furstenberg collection, only it needs more…dress.  She’s her usual ranting self as she tells Cane that Neil’s apartment is a death trap now.  Like, there are picture frames with GLASS in them.  And he can’t even SEE them, boo hoo.  She TOLD Neil about the one person who would ruin his life.  And now, she has.

 

Devon and Hilary are guiding Neil down the hall.  He KNOWS the way to his apartment, OKAY?  And he belongs in his own home, in his own bed, next to his beautiful wife.  He holds her close, and Hilary and Devon look at each other like guilty thieves.  This is kind of great for them, though, because they can make all their “woe is me” faces right in front of him.  It’s so hard that Neil’s near death and BLINDNESS are putting a wrinkle in their plans.  Poor Devon and Hilary.

 

Stitch is chatting with Victoria at her bedside, and Billy walks in.  Vicky is surprised, how did he know?  Stitch called him??  Stitch is like, aw, shucks, he knew Billy would want to know.  Billy would probably crash Stitch in a ravine before returning the favor, so he’s winning some high road points here.  He has to go sign some HR forms.  Victoria thanks him.  Good guy Stitch is just glad she and the baby are okay.  He leaves her with Billy.

 

Billy asks if he can sit down.   She says things are normal, and she’s just there for observation because it’s a high risk pregnancy.  It’s such a sad reminder, as if she could forget.  Billy will never forget either.  She’s just so scared, if anything happens to this baby… Hey, Billy knows. Believe him, he knows.  Also, if this is Rayburn’s kid, he’s outta there.  He pushes Vicky’s hair behind her ear and awkwardly strokes her cheek.

 

Victor tells Jack he has no time for his paranoia, K?  Very slick, says Jack, pretending to be concerned about his daughter when her husband’s about to go to trial.  He has a way of pouncing on vulnerable people.  Victor’s smug because Phyllis.  “You know, it’s almost flattering to think how much time you spend worrying about me.”  Burn.  Jack says if Summer needs help, she can feel free to turn to the Abbotts.  Take a hike.  Victor can barely contain his glee. Right, he says. 

 

Summer opens the door.  She is also wearing a pretty fit’n’flare navy and red dress.  Hi, sweetheart, says Victor FIRST.  He just came by to wish Summer and her young man good luck.  He might also need a copy of her signature.  Jack is so anxious to criticize Victor, he slams him for saying that to Austin.  Summer frowns.  Grandpa knows the gun went off by accident.  Well, Jack says, you and I both know there were parts of this crime that weren't an accident.  You’re losing the Moral Support Competition, Jack.  Austin says, it’s okay, it’s his fault and everyone knows that. Summer’s offended.  There were those thingies.  Mitigating circumstances.  How can we expect a jury to understand that when her own family refuses to?  Victor smiles in a superior fashion at Jack.  He’s like…shit.

 

Avery is mad.  She DOES stand up for herself, day in and day out!  Dylan rants about how Austin stalked her and kidnapped her and could have killed her, and she wants to PROTECT him?  Put a good word in for him?  Austin’s mother was MURDERED! cries Avery.  Blah responsible blah.  Dylan is super angry.  He says if she and Summer get their wish, yet ANOTHER guilty person goes free!  “It was a MOMENT IN TIME, Dylan, that will NEVER happen again!”  So Paul didn’t lose his liver, he didn’t lose half of his, Christine wasn’t scared, SHE wasn’t scared??  Dylan sure was scared, that he might lose Avery, and if Austin doesn’t pay, for making Dylan feel scared, then this justice system doesn’t mean a damn thing.  Welcome to adulthood, Dylan. 

 

The reporters leave, and Paul looks pained.  Nikki says he really should be resting.  Yeah, there are a lot of shoulds in life, gripes Paul.  Those guys are leeches.  What he SHOULD have done, was say no comment?  No, he should have arrested that guy who followed him to the cabin, send a message.  The free press will not be tolerated.  Nikki’s like, oh, I’m so sorry, he must have followed me there. 

 

Christine’s like, no shit.  “He was like a vulture, swooping in,” she opines darkly, with her blonde Morticia hair.  Nikki just came to show her support.  For whom?  drones Chris.  Your friend the victim, or your granddaughter’s husband, the defendant?  Nikki’s phone rings, breaking the oracle’s spell.  Victoria’s in the hospital!  She has to go!  “Hope everything’s all right,” Paul calls like an old lady.

 

Victoria shares her fears about losing the baby.  She doesn’t want to invite bad things to happen.  “It doesn’t work like that, kid,” says Sam Spade.  She was glad Stitch was there, and even Billy can concede that a doctor might be okay in that situation.  Billy says this is still so amazing, with all the trying and nothing working, not the adoption, not…Lucy.  Aww, beautiful Lucy, says Vicky.  Billy says he did some crazy wrong things trying to give her the baby that she wanted, and look at her, she did it all on her own.  Aw, she had a little help from Jose Cuervo.  

 

Billy says that it’s all HER baby in there (not Stitch’s, nope), soaking up her smarts and good looks.   She basks in his praise, and he says it’s your miracle, Vick.  That’s all that matters.  I like how Billy can even lie to himself.  She says he sounds a little in love with this baby already.  Maybe I am, he says.  “Will you still feel that way if it isn’t yours?”  Billy’s like, uhhh.  We just covered this, it’s all YOUR baby, Victoria.

 

“Sweetheart,” says Victor, “what happened to Paul was terrible.  But intentions do matter.”  He looks at Austin.  “Now, you never intended to hurt Paul Williams, did you?”  Never, says Austin.  “Well, understanding and forgiveness of people not named Sharon are what hold a family together, and certainly marriage,” especially if it sticks it to Jack at the moment.  Jack bites his lip and shakes his head.  “Anyone who claims otherwise,” Victor looks at Jack, “is a fool.”  Jack knows he walked right into this one.   “Good luck, old boy,” he says, shaking Austin’s hand.  He kisses Summer, sneers at Jack, and leaves. 

 

“Austin, eventually you will learn that Victor Newman’s moves are about as subtle as an anvil dropping on your head.”  Oh, Jack, don’t be a sore loser.  Summer is indignant.  Grandpa meant what he said!  She WISHES the judge could hear what Grandpa just said right now.  The judge is probably hearing Victor make a Swiss bank account donation.  Austin thinks the judge will hear evidence that he had a loaded gun to get a meaningless confession out of an innocent woman.  I think Austin should get off just for killing the cooking show.  Leslie calls.  Summer pleads with Jack that Austin needs support!  So do you, says Jack.  What about you?  It’s all the same thing, she says!  She’s holding out hope for Austin just like he’s holding out hope for Mom.  Yeaaaah…that.

 

Kelly sprouted bangs, which is better, I think. They’re making her wear another dress out of the cast closet.   She’s working at the club, and Stitch stops by.  He notices she smiles a lot more now.  Oh, it’s something Jack said.  So it wasn’t paperwork.  He had his own paperwork today, for termination. She’s surprised to hear he’s going to lose his license.  Why does this surprise everyone?  

 

Billy’s like, ugh, the idea of Vicky and Stitch having a kid, and him just sitting on the sidelines.  Gross.  Okay, if it’s Stitch’s baby, he’ll be jealous, but does that make this baby any less of a gift? Of course not.  Make up your damn mind.  He says the baby hit the mommy jackpot.  Nikki comes rushing in the door, and Billy leaves.  Victor’s in the hall.  “What have you done to Victoria now?”

 

Without sight, Neil now realizes how freaking ANNOYING his prattling family is.  Omg, what a curse!  They’re all babbling about helping him, but he just wants a drink of water.  And he will get it himself.  He gets up and trips over a table, breaking stuff.  WHO PUT THAT THERE???  Lily did because she’s an IDIOT.  She wanted to get it out of the way, so she put it where he’ll never expect it.  Neil starts hollering at her for moving his shit without ASKING.

 

Lily apologizes.  He keeps yelling!  Stop treating him like a child!  He’s her DAD!  He’s not Charlie or Mattie!  HE’S NOT AN INVALID HERE!  Lily races out.  Cane reminds Neil that Lily let him be there for her, so maybe he should let her be there for him.  Because this is about Lily.  Cane leaves.  Neil is going to get a glass of water.  Hilary and Devon look at each other. Woe is them.

 

Jack gives Summer a necklace that Phyllis bought on their trip to Istanbul.  It’s supposed to ward off bad luck.  “I guess she wasn’t wearing it when she fell,” Summer says in a tiny voice.  Dang, Summer beat me to it.  Jack says maybe Summer should, especially today.  Jack believes in Summer.  Don’t let go…of something.

 

Yes, Kelly says, Stitch and Victoria are complicated.  But that doesn’t mean impossible.  I mean, look at her.  She tried to stay away from Jack with lots of clinging and crying, and told herself not to hope, but in the end, Jack picked HER!  So, he still has a chance with Victoria.  Maybe Billy will go into a coma!

Stitch says he was lucky to get the first chance, but after lying, he won’t get another one.  He does want to be with her whether the baby’s his or not. Kelly says Vicky turned to him when she needed someone most!  Nah, he was just a stand-in for Billy.  Because he let him in!  Don’t open the door to BILLY and let him walk into her life, says Kelly!  Fight, Ben, try!

 

What did you do, growls Victor, to push Victoria into needing medical attention?  Billy says he’s always wondered what was worse in Victor’s book, Billy being an addict who kidnapped his son, or his buddy, Stitch, being a killer.  Now he knows.   For the record, Stitch treated Victoria with respect and consideration.  Billy says it’s just ABB with Victor, Anybody But Billy.  Victor admits maybe he was too trusting with Stitch, but that doesn’t mean BILLY is now worthy of his daughter!  He’s got news for Billy, neither one of them is!  Whatever Victor, says Billy.

 

Dylan gets to court.  Christine tells him he’s supposed to testify first, followed by Paul.  She thinks that’s enough to put Austin away.  Jack, Austin, and Summer show up.  Austin starts to go over, and Jack is like, wait for Leslie.  But Austin has to say this.  He apologizes to Paul, Christine, and Dylan, even though he knows sorry doesn’t fix it, but he wishes to God it never happened.  He hopes they can forgive him one day.  Christine just sneers and shakes her head, like, can you believe this guy apologizing?  What scum.

 

Jack’s impressed that Austin apologized instead of hiding behind his lawyer.  Summer whimpers about how mean Chris is.  First she wanted to put her mom in prison for trying to kill her, and now she wants to put her husband in there too, for trying to kill Chris’s husband.  WHY IS CHRIS SO MEAN TO SUMMER???  Avery says not to worry, she thinks she and Leslie can turn this thing around.

 

Nikki and Victor hover over Victoria and will support her no matter what she does.

 

Leslie and Avery think Austin is a candidate for deferred prosecution.  Chris is like, not a chance!!  Paul explains that deferred prosecution means he can avoid a trial in exchange for community service, counseling, and a fine.  It’s NOT on the table, says Chris.  Dylan the barrista/cop/lawyer also says it’s not an option!  Summer’s like, hey, Dylan, you kidnapped a baby when you got upset.  Point to Summer.  She pleads that things just got really out of hand with this, including Dylan screwing it up by rushing over there before the police!  Does prison really help anyone in this case?  Chris is like it teaches other violent people they will go to prison!

 

Avery reminds Chris that she recused herself from this case, for obvious reasons.  And it’s not the slam dunk she thinks it is.  Chris is like, ha!  Paul’s story will be enough to take care of that.   Weeeell, says Paul,…IF he decides to testify.  Chris is like, WHAT?

 

Lily’s crying because Daddy hates her.  Cane is like, there, there, Neil doesn’t hate you.  She’s like, how can he be this way after everything she’s BEEN THROUGH?  Chemo, surgery, she can’t get pregnant.  Waah, he waltzed her on his feet and now he’s a big meanie.  Cane tries to talk her off the ledge.  How long can he take this marriage?  Lily is worried about how Neil’s going to cope with his blindness.  What if he copes by drinking?  Cane needs to drop her off at an Al Anon meeting ASAP.

 

Hilary puts the apartment back together.  She’s so mad at Lily.  Who does that, who moves a blind man’s things?  Devon reminds her she thought it was a good idea.  Okay, she and Lily were both wrong.  Neil needs consistency, not surprises.  Devon says they won’t surprise him with being in love until the right time.  Hilary says, “When is the ‘right time’ to break a good man’s heart?”  Devon’s like, hey, he hates it too, too, kind of, but they talked about this.  They’re not going to pretend they don’t have feelings.

 

Hilary stares at him.  All she feels is that her husband needs her right now, and she is here for him.  What does that mean, asks Devon.   It means she’s breaking up with you, spoiled baby.  He frowns and leaves because he’s jealous of a blind man who adopted him.  Neil comes back in, and she says it’s just the two of them now, and hugs him.

 

Austin didn’t want to get Summer’s hopes up about a deferred prosecution because the chances were so slim.  Well, her hopes are up NOW! Jack asks Avery her opinion of the ADA going for it.  It depends on Paul.  She’s with Summer, don’t give up hope.

 

Christine argues with Paul.  She’s like, this is about LAW ENFORCEMENT, it’s what we DO!  But Paul asks about the greater good.  He thinks this is about rehabilitation for this kid.  Dylan’s like, stop calling him a kid!  Shut up, babynapper.   Paul thinks it’s worth it.  If he blows it again, the charges return!  He goes to jail.  “Listen, guys, we have a chance to save a life.  That is not always the case.”  This isn’t Ricky, says Chris.  He knows.  It’s too late for Ricky.  But it’s not too late for Austin.  Chris is PISSED, but she says she’ll go talk to the ADA.

 

Lily’s still ranting.  The last time Neil was alone like this, he went on a bender and met trash like Hilary’s mother.  Cane says but he’s not alone, he has Hilary.  HILARY?  God knows what she’ll do to him now that he can’t see her.

 

Neil feels bad for hurting Lily’s feelings.  There’s no excuse for that, his kids have been through worse than this, meningitis and cancer.  He shouldn’t have gotten angry.  Hilary says he’s allowed to have whatever feelings he wants to.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he says, he was supposed to be renovating their beautiful home, which I guess they’re stuck with now.  Hilary comforts him.  He says the smartest thing he ever did was convince her to marry him.  The hold each other, and Hilary looks over at a broken family photo and feels sad.

 

Devon’s drinking a Hilary Special at the bar, and Nikki joins him.  She mentions seeing him in that shady bar…she, uh, wasn’t there to do the typical thing.   She’s not sure people would understand that if they heard about it, nudge nudge, wink wink.  “Heard about what?” asks Victor behind her.  Damn, he’s sneaky.  Devon’s become quite the smooth liar, and says Nikki heard about Neil’s accident, but he’s back home now.  Everyone is so glad he has Hilary with him!  Yep.  “Now and forever, just like the vows say,” slurs Devon.  Damn those annoying vows.  He leaves.  Victor thinks Nikki seems anxious.  She says they just can’t catch a breath, now it’s Victoria.  Vicky will bring that child in the world by sheer will, says Victor.  And she has a role model for grace under pressure.

 

Billy tells Victoria he’ll hang out with Johnny.  They hug.  Stitch watches through the window.

 

Austin’s off the hook!  No prison time, just lots of hard work and responsibility.  The kind of man he becomes is his choice, says Leslie.  Just a plea agreement signature, and he walks right out the door.  He better never need to hire her again!  It’s a deal, says Austin.   Tweener Summer thinks her mom made it happen with a good luck charm! 

 

OH, NO!  Austin reads the papers he just signed, and his face falls.  He has to pay the fine by NEXT WEEK or he goes to jail!  He doesn’t have that kind of money!  Summer looks panicked!  If only they had three or four billionaires they could ask!  Omg, this…stupid…f’ing..show. 

 

Jack joins Kelly.  He tells her there was a plea deal and Austin isn’t going to prison.  Aww, it’s a second chance at a future.  She hopes Austin realizes what a gift it is that he’s not going to spend the rest of his life being abused in prison.  I bet he's figured it out.  Jack says Summer needs to know what he’s told Phyllis, that he’s walking away from unrealistic old dreams, like an old shoe. What he and Kelly have is so strong and solid, he wants the whole world to know.  What are you saying, Proposin’ Jack?

 

Dylan’s in a rage, especially because Avery AND Paul are happy about Austin not going to jail. WHAT ABOUT THE LAW?  SHOULD WE JUST LET EVERYBODY OUT OF JAIL?  DOES EVERYBODY DESERVE A CLEAN SLATE?  Don’t be ridiculous, we only let good-looking people out of jail, so calm down, babynapper.

 

Avery gets a call…Gasp!  It’s about her sister!

Edited August 21, 2014 by peach

[Petunia13]

The name of the title is so confusing. I wouldn't call Lily disenchanted.

[Joimiaroxeu]

First she wanted to put her mom in prison for trying to kill her, and now she wants to put her husband in there too, for trying to kill Chris’s husband.  WHY IS CHRIS SO MEAN TO SUMMER???

I swear to gawd, every time I see Summer whining now I just want to reach through the TV screen and punch her. Is there anybody more self-involved than her?

 

Nikki and Victor hover over Victoria and will support her no matter what she does.

Yeah Victor, as long as she doesn't try to marry someone you don't approve of. Didn't Victoria's first miscarriage happen because he had her arrested at her wedding ceremony? Seems like everyone has conveniently forgotten that.

 

Omg, this…stupid…f’ing..show.

It's like they're just thumbing their noses at the audience now.

[Chairperson Meow]

This thread is my everything.

[movinon]

Yeah Victor, as long as she doesn't try to marry someone you don't approve of. Didn't Victoria's first miscarriage happen because he had her arrested at her wedding ceremony? Seems like everyone has conveniently forgotten that.

 

True - true - true!!!  Worst of all, she seems to have forgotten it herself.  

 

 

[peach]

Thur, Aug 21, 2014

 

Noah stops by the cottage to find Sharon stuffing clothes in a giant Hefty bag.   She is taking out the trash!  She doesn’t want anything at all to remind her of Mariah!  Since when, asks Noah.  Since she found her trying to seduce his father!  Noah’s like, yikes!

 

Mariah’s at the club leaving a frantic message for Ian.  She doesn’t know what to do!  Everything is falling apart, and she needs his help.

 

Nick is at a Madison hospital trying to get information on a birth of a baby given up for adoption.  A lady tells him he has to go through the adoption agency for that, but Nick says the adoption lawyer is dead, and prior to that he was arrested for fraud, so he has to use the hospital records.  She’s kinda, ooo, I don’t knooow, so Nick unleashes his bedroom eyes and asks if there is any way she could help him with that?

 

Let’s pretend we’re watching the reality level of Nickelodeon or something, because Austin nonchalantly says gosh, there’s no way he can come up with that money for a fine, so he’ll just have to forfeit the deal Leslie made with the DA, like he’s canceling restaurant reservations instead of going to PRISON.  He’s just not going to be able to make it to dinner for like, 20 years.  Summer snatches his phone away!  “My husband is not going to prison because we can’t pay a fine!”  That’s for the poors.  Yuck!

 

Then HOW is Austin gonna get that kind of money by next week?  Hmm.  Wait, Summer will pay it!  How, by going to her billionaire father?  What kind of idea is that?  Jack already gave them an apartment, so Austin just wouldn’t feel right going to him with his hand out for a trifling situation like this.

 

Okay, she doesn’t have to ask her dad.  Then how, asks Austin again.  Think, think.  Omg, Summer has a trust fund her grandpa set up!  Remember how she doesn’t work and lives for free?!  “You’re absolutely right,” says Victor, who’s come around the corner.  “You don’t need to rely on Jack Abbott for a damn thing, K?”  Austin is pretty lucky that trumping Jack Abbot supersedes getting rid of him in a jail.

 

Jack tells Kelly he’s doing this asking thing all wrong.  He should take her to a candlelit dinner and ask her there.  She says she doesn’t need some over the top evening, she needs him to be realistic.  He JUST broke up with his last fiancé.  This is not a reaction to that, says Neil, um, I mean, Jack.  He loves Kelly!  Out with the old, in with the new.  He’s READY to take this next step together!   Well, I’m not, says Kelly.

 

Lauren and Michael greet Leslie in the club dining room.  She’s waiting for Barton to celebrate her big win with Austin, but darn it, he’s stuck at the hospital again.  Lauren totally understands about working hard and the PROBLEMS it causes.  Michael takes Lauren to their table and has a pissy little anxiety attack about Lauren sharing his intimate personal problems with a colleague!!  Lauren’s like, are you high?  ALL she meant was busy people scheduling their social life, not Michael’s impotence.  His junk is the last thing on Leslie’s mind.  Pull it together.  Michael’s paranoia subsides a bit, but Lauren puts it out there, that maaaybe, he could talk to Dr. Barton about it.

 

Mariah gets a text from Ian say he’s dealing with another matter, and will call when he’s done.  He’s probably getting a massage.  “Dammit!” shouts Mariah, and almost throws her cell phone right into Kevin!  Whoa, he wouldn’t do that, because she’ll still be mad but with a broken phone.  She calms down.  He says she must really be frustrated.  She’s mad at HERSELF, because she had something good going and then she screwed it all up!

 

Noah looks skeptical while Sharon describes catching Mariah in her nightie, waiting to seduce Nick.  He’s like, she actually thought Dad would GO for that?  Apparently!  Noah’s like…WOW.  Dad sees what we all see…Cassie, his daughter.  Sharon says that’s where the similarity ends.  Mariah is nothing but a conniving user who doesn’t care about anyone but herself.  Noah says he’s sorry Mariah betrayed her, but…she’s not entirely at fault here.  Sharon knows it,  Nick warned her not to trust Mariah, but did she listen?  No. 

 

Noah cannot believe that she HIT on DAD, but he’s not surprised she was taking advantage of Sharon.  So where is she now?  Sharon threw her out!  Faith comes in and says, “But I like Mariah. Why did you make her leave?”  Let’s just say it will get you kicked out of your next sleep-over, Faith.

 

Hospital Lady tells Bedroom Eyes she’s really not supposed to give information out.  Oh, come on, they’re like really old records, so who could it hurt?   It would really help him out, flirt flirt.  Oh, well, if they’re OLD adoption records, I mean, why not?

 

Jack cannot believe Kelly is turning him down!  He doesn’t understand at all!  She already sleeps over all the time.  Why is she giving him such a hard time about moving in together?  Ohhhh!  Kelly starts laughing because SHE thought…Seriously?  She thought he was going to PROPOSE? How ridiculous.  She’s relieved, but says it’s still a big step.  Yeah, but Phyllis has taught him that you don’t delay joy!  Creamy Nude could come and take it all away.  I wouldn’t delay living with Mrs. Martinez, that’s for sure.  Blah joy blah.  She’s moving in.

 

Austin is still too noble to keep himself out of jail, but thanks anyway, Mr. Newman.  He’ll just have to get a paper route or something.  Summer is like, what’s the problem??  He doesn’t want to be indebted to her grandfather!  That’s a lot of money!  He’d rather be indebted to Bubba for a pack of cigarettes and a shiv.  But Summer says it’s HER money, right, Grandpa?  Victor says she’ll be able to access her trust fund when she’s 25.  But that’s TOO LATE!  Summer starts begging.  “Sweetheart, I already said I wanted to stick it to Jack Abbott, so I will grant you limited access to your trust fund.”  YAY!  Rainbows and unicorns!  Avery rushes up.  She just got a call about her mom!

 

Jack says a fresh start is exactly what he and Kelly need.  So when should they move into MY place, they say in a big jinx!  Obviously, they’ll stay at Jack’s. Why NOT my place, asks Kelly.  Um, because I’m a BILLIONAIRE?  My house is slightly bigger?  Yeah, and it has other people living in it, says Kelly.  People like Billy.  Yeah, that’s gross.  But it’s like really big, they can keep Billy in some other part of the house. 

 

Kelly says HER place is cozy. Oh, Kelly, you’re so poor.  Ski chalets are cozy, not your dinky apartment.  Jack has a pool and Mrs. Martinez and a garden… She admits it has excellent perks, so Jack’s place it is.  He wants to do it right away, but they can’t move a stick of furniture until they tell Summer.  Kelly’s not thrilled about that.  Jack is like, hey, she has to face the truth.

 

Avery says the call was from Daniel.  He received an art grant and is leaving the country to go ALL THE WAY TO EUROPE.  It’s so far, you guys, I don’t even know if you can call it.  So he’s arranged for dumbo 19 year old Summer, whose last major decision was to elope with a felon she just met, to be in charge of Phyllis’ care, instead of her attorney sister.  Even Summer thinks that’s kind of awful, but sure.  She thinks it’s kind of weird that Daniel would suddenly get a grant when their mom’s in a coma, because, wait, why is that weird?  Avery thinks it’s weird, too, but he got an anonymous grant just for him!  Victor thinks it’s outstanding.

 

Michael’s still pouting.  Lauren had said it was no big deal, and now she wants him to go to a doctor??  How is he supposed to take that?  She’s just concerned about his overall health.  He’s so tired all the time.  Well, she’s super busy, too.  He thinks his “personal issues” will get better if they spend more time together.

 

Kevin tells Mariah he knows all about screwing up. It’s the one thing he’s consistently good at.  Oh, yeah, asks Mariah, how many phones have you broken?  Dozens.  She says she has to find a new job and home because Sharon hates her, and soon Nick will, too.  Kevin says Nick’s a pretty reasonable caveman, maybe she can explain.  Mariah’s like, uh, no, but she wishes she could see him one more time.   Kevin says GC is a pretty small town/booming metropolis, so she probably will.  No, she’s leaving, there’s nothing left for her here.

 

Nick’s reading the OLD records that were easily accessed on her tablet, while the Hospital Lady falls all over herself. How long is he in Madison, maybe they could have a drink?  But the bedroom eyes are gone now, and steely detective eyes are reading about Dr. Hill who was Sharon’s attending physician.  He needs to speak with him!  But that’s not possible, Dr. Hill is gone.

 

Sharon explains to Faith that she asked Mariah to leave because she wasn’t willing to follow the rules of the house.  And the number one rule is don’t sleep with Nick.  Faith says she should give her another chance. She’s gotten plenty of chances, says Sharon.  Faith pouts because no one in this family stays around.  First Summer, now Mariah.  Those two weeks were so meaningful.  Noah’s like, whoa, Summer is still your sister, and I’m here, so you have all the family you need. 

 

Mariah tells Kevin she has no idea where she’ll go.   She’ll probably just hop on the first bus she sees.  Kevin thinks that sounds GREAT.  To start over where no one knows you?  He says he’s coming too.  Mariah’s like, gross, weirdo.  No one asked you.  Ah, but if they go TOGETHER, she doesn’t have to take the bus.  So it’s better to go in a strange guy’s car?  He says it’s better when they go on his HARLEY.   Kevin.  On a Harley.  Born to be wild.  She’s like we’ve met twice and you’re talking road trips?  They like the same books, what else do you need to know?  Mariah thinks he’s crazy, but he says they can just leave together, they don’t have to STAY together.  They can leave and go be whoever they want to be…separately.

 

Hospital Lady is all giggly and flustered, and is checking for Dr. Hill’s info.  She says he went on to teach at the university when he retired in 1991.  Gasp!  That’s the year Cassie was born!  Nick thanks Hospital Lady, Alicia, and tries to get away from her.  She gives him her card, and, uh, she doesn’t mind waiting.  Nick calls a Newman henchman to do some investigative work for him now.  First the jet, now the henchmen?

 

Victor’s in his office arranging for Summer’s financial papers.  He looks at a document allowing Summer to approve treatment for Phyllis.

 

Avery is remembering when she helped Summer deal with losing her parents.  Snore.

 

Leslie meets up with Avery.   She has something she really doesn’t know how to tell her…she’s rethinking their partnership.  Girl, she’s dumping you like Neil!  “Avery, I want out.”  Avery’s like, whaaa..?

 

Michael runs into Kevin and Mariah, and Mr. Don’t Tell My Business starts embarrassing Kevin about his episode at the station and Harding wanting to snap him in half.   He’s acting a little manic.  Kevin’s like, HEY, meet Mariah!  Michael goes, hey, you look just like… Yeah, she knows, whatever.  That's enough for her to cast her lot in with Kevin.  Michael needs him, so Mariah says she’ll meet him at the coffee shop in an hour.  Michael literally drags Kevin away.

 

Ian texts Mariah.  Back at suite soon.  Have patience.  All is not lost. She rushes upstairs.

 

Sharon complains that now Faith thinks SHE’S the bad guy now for throwing Mariah out.  Faith is kinda turning into Summer 2.0.  Sharon can’t believe she let that little…sneak..into her house!  Noah and Nick kept trying to warn her, she admits.  Why didn’t she listen?  Noah says it’s because she’s a good person, it’s not her fault.  She admits she needed that connection with Cassie…and that’s just what Victor was counting on.  It’s VICTOR’S fault!  He is the one who brought Mariah into their lives in the first place.  And she is going over there…to kick his ass, hopefully.  Noah doesn’t think she should take on Grandpa right now, but she IS.

 

“Oh, Grandpa,” whines Summer, “Thank you so much for not making me whine for this money.” What does it sound like when SHE thinks she's whining??  “Sweetheart, I love your whining, but the clock is ticking.”  He gives her documents to sign.  Austin thanks him again, and goes to answer the door.  It’s Jack and Kelly!  They’ve come to rain on Summer’s parade!  Jack sees Victor.  “What the hell are you up to now?”

 

Summer says it’s okay, he’s just doing her a favor.  Victor says he’s just releasing some of her money to pay Austin’s fine.  Jack is like why didn’t you just call ME for the money?!  Victor chides him for thinking she and Austin should embark on their marriage beholden to him.  Tsk tsk.  Jack is fuming.   Victor scoops up the documents, and hustles out. 

 

Jack is like, ugh, I wish you would have run this by the Abbott lawyers before you signed it!  But Grandpa said it was all standard stuff.  Jack says, “I bet Grandpa said that.”  Summer thinks Jack is just overprotective and doesn’t trust Grandpa, who is being SUPER supportive.  Jack’s freaking out because that is always a huge red flag with Victor.

 

Avery asks if she offended Leslie.  No, it’s not her.  Leslie did some soul searching, and she doesn’t want to be a defense attorney anymore.  Putting Ian Ward back on the street has left her really icked out.  Avery’s the one who loves defending criminals, not her, so she’s decided to take an ADA position.  “You want to prosecute?” asks Avery, like it’s witchcraft.  There’s less moral ambiguity, says Leslie, just the pursuit of justice.  Avery hopes she can still see both sides.  She’ll see her in court.  They shake hands.

 

Lauren and Michael think Kevin is spiraling out of control because he bought a motorcycle.  “Why did you do that?” asks Lauren.  Um, because it’s fun?  He had a crappy year, and wants to go have some fun now.  But why can’t young, single Kevin have fun THERE?  With THEM?  He says that’s a very [boring] nice offer, but he needs to get out of town for a while.  So you’re running, accuses Michael.  Well, yes.  He’s escaping his memories of Chloe and Delia, because his life now just ain’t cutting it. SO, he has to figure out what it is that makes him happy.  Would it be some kind of radical lifestyle change, maybe?

 

Michael is really pissy about this, too.  He just hears Kevin making rash decisions.  Kevin says striking out on his own will give Michael and Lauren freedom to live it up.  Yeah, but the next time he’s in a cell, Michael won’t just be a phone call away to get him out of trouble!  Kevin is like, chill!  He’ll call someone else, then.  Like, who, snarks Michael, your good friend, Mariah?  Kevin’s out.  Bye!

 

Noah calls Nick and leaves him a message.  Mom is going on a possible rampage against Grandpa, so he needs to stop her.

 

Nick gets to Dr. Hill’s office and tells him he’s doing a background check on a former acquaintance of his, Helen Copeland?  Dr. Hill’s eyes widen, but he says that name doesn’t ring a bell.  Nick tells him to start being honest.  Steely eyes! 

 

Lauren says Kevin did make one good point.  They’re more free to live their life.  They make another quality time date for tonight.  She rushes to the invisible boutique, and Michael hits the bar.  Avery joins him.  She tells him Leslie just broke up with her to be a prosecutor, so maybe she’ll sleep better at night.  Michael wishes he could sleep better, he’s exhausted from his workload.  He says this is what it’s like to go solo.  Avery doesn’t want to!  She always thinks it’s better to have a partner!  Michael stares at her.  He smiles and says she may have just saved his marriage! 

 

Summer tells Jack about how she’s in charge of Phyllis since Daniel’s leaving the country.  She thinks it’s great that Daniel gets to do what he loves, and she gets to be with the man she loves.  NOTHING could ruin this day!  Jack and Kelly are all uncomfortable, because they sure could.  Summer asks them why they stopped by.  Um, uh, Kelly steps up and says they want to take them out to dinner to celebrate.  Usually, they would be all over a free meal, says Summer, but they have a flight to catch.  There’s somewhere special she wants to take him.  Burn up that trust fund, girl!  Jack bites his tongue.

 

Dr. Hill insists that Nick leave.  No, he really wants to know about a specific delivery a million years ago where Helen was the nurse.  A baby girl was given up for adoption, and her mother was a 16 yo girl named Sharon Collins.  Does he remember that name? Uhh, nope!  Nick says he wants the details.  That baby was his daughter and he wants to know why no one was in that delivery room, but Dr. Hill isn’t talking. 

 

Nick looks around his very nice office.  Seems like he’s got it good here, but Nick knows he had another career before this, one that ended abruptly.  His daddy has henchmen that found out all about it on the drive over here.  If he doesn’t want the university finding out, he better tell him what he wants to know. 

 

Victor’s on his cell phone, asking to talk to Dr. Cutler immediately about Phyllis.  He walks in his office to find Sharon waiting for him.  “You better hang up the phone!”

[Runningwild]

Summer and Austin are leaving town? What a sweet deal that Cutie Pie PTI is. He doesn't even have to go before a judge to motion for travel out of the jurisdiction.

[crowsworks]

 

Summer and Austin are leaving town? What a sweet deal that Cutie Pie PTI is. He doesn't even have to go before a judge to motion for travel out of the jurisdiction.

 

Swell deal indeed. It's good to be rich. (Worthy poor kid would be 'reabilitated' in stir)

 

Wana bet Asstin is either CEO, chief of surgery or D.A. in under a year... or a bartender/Pulitzer Prize Winning photo jounalist. 

[Petunia13]

Famous director (who is mostly based in GC of course).

[peach]

Fri, Aug 22, 2014  Three Bags Full

 

Welcome to a summary of today’s filler show, and here’s what it filled.   I rate this episode three barf bags out of four. 

 

~Nick confronts Dr. Hill about what happened when Sharon gave birth.  There is a lot of stalling, with Nick playing bad cop, sweeping stuff off his desk and threatening Dr. Hill with exposing his dirty little secrets, such as gambling addiction, to the university.  Then he switches to good cop, and sympathizes with the doctor as to the kind of trouble he must have been in.  It’s okay, he can tell Nick.

 

Dr. Hill admits that he had loan sharks after him, after his family.  The whole thing was Helen’s idea, and he didn’t WANT to do it, but he was desperate for money.  He’s only human!!  And besides, Sharon was giving up her baby for adoption, so what did it matter if there were two babies.  Sharon was on drugs and didn’t know.  He wasn’t really hurting anything.  So, yes, dear viewers, Sharon had TWINS!   Shocker.  Mariah and Cassie are sisters. 

 

Nick opens the office door, and an FBI agent is standing there who was listening the whole time, because the FBI has agents just sitting around Madison in the afternoon, ready at a moment's notice.  Dr. Hill is like, hey!  You said this was just between us!  Nick says he lied.  “I’m only human,” he snarks, and leaves.

 

~Sharon confronts Victor about how his dastardly deed of bringing Mariah to town has caused even more damage, and he better listen before he calls security.  Victor doesn’t need any “two bit robocops” to throw Sharon out, he’ll do it himself, with pleasure.  Well he’s gonna want to hear this.  It’s about Mariah.

 

“The woman you hired to destroy me…tried to seduce Nick away from me.”  Victor probably thinks that’s a bonus.  I mean, he was trying to destroy her.  He says SHE’S the one who insisted that Mariah move in with her and Nicholas. “That girl has been nothing but trouble ever since she set foot in this town. She should have left a long time ago.”  Sharon says, “Are you kidding me??  You’re going to sit there and pretend you had nothing to do with this??” 

 

Hey, he paid her to leave town.  “You also PAID HER to pretend to be MY DEAD DAUGHTER!  Oh, but right, you were justified in that.”  YOU’REDAMNRIGHTIWAS!  Because whatever she’s hiding will hurt Nick, she said so herself.  May I remind you guys that Victor didn’t even know Sharon had a secret until Mariah told him?  Fake Cassie was just to mess with Sharon for the fun of it.  Sharon accuses Victor of also being behind the seduction attempt.

 

She tries to reach the Grinch’s shriveled heart by reminding him of the aftermath of Cassie’s death, and what they both went through, and how he was the only one she could turn to after Nick ran off with Phyllis.  Etc.  Sharon’s anger turns to sorrow.   He used her love for Cassie as a weapon against her.  She played right into his hand by letting Mariah come in and fill that void, and get entwined with everyone, including Faith.  Victor says he never encouraged her to do any of that.  But it was his sick plan that started it!  He and Mariah were playing her.  She sits down and tearfully says, “Well, you got the last laugh, Victor.  You made a fool of me.  Out of the love I had for my daughter, my Cassie.”  Victor looks bored.

 

He tells her to get to the point.  She says he can’t get to her anymore.  All this did was make her realize that her family is the only thing she cares about, and she’s moving on.  She’s not going to let him or some phantom secret keep her from being happy.  If he cared for her AT ALL, he will give up on this obsession to find out what she’s done. I think it’s been well established that Victor does NOT care for her AT ALL.  He admits he might feel a teeny bit sorry about how she’s been hurt, but if he gives up, then Noah and Faith will be hurt more.  So he won’t stop… “Not until I know what you’re hiding!!”  She stomps out.  

 

Victor calls Dr. Cutler and says he has the family approval in writing, to experiment on Phyllis.  I really don't see this as particularly evil since Summer would sign that thing anyway, if she knew about it.

 

~Billy stops by to see Chelsea yet again.  She has the notes from the production meeting that she went to in his place, since he had to rush to the hospital to see Victoria.  So there was never any reason for Billy to go to that meeting, except to orchestrate another endless conversation about how they should stay away from each other.  Like her bringing the notes home instead of leaving them in his office, or possibly using EMAIL.

 

Chelsea’s decided to leave town for a while and go to L.A. to work on her Forrester designs, away from all the…distractions.  Billy’s bummed out because L.A. is, like, so far away.  They have an insufferable smarmy conversation about how much he loves Victoria and Johnny and still wants her back, but he thinks Chelsea is super beautiful and the bees knees and wants to be around her and Connor all the time, too.  Waah, don’t leave me all alone and potentially meet a surfer dude and have a life that doesn’t revolve around my bullshit!

 

Chelsea has to do this for herself.  She has to break it to Billy that he’s not the only reason she needs a change, there’s still that grieving widow thing she has going on, and missing her dead husband that he killed.  Oh, that guy.  Also, the Forrester designs are her JOB.  They kiss once on the lips and act forlorn about this temporary separation.

 

~Since all that wasn’t gross enough, Summer has taken Austin to meet the mom.  He finds it kind of awkward, but Summer insists he sit and have a chat with a comatose woman.  He decides to make it a confessional and tells his wittle stowy about how he almost ruined his life and failed his mom, until Summer came along with her trust fund and saved him. 

 

He admits that when he first married Summer, he was just trying to stay out of jail.  Summer starts ultra pouting and regresses from 12 years old, to about 5.  “Do you mean you don’t weally wuv me?”  Oh noes, could it BE that it wasn’t super true epic love that made him accept her proposal after a few days running from the cops?  He confesses that he probably wouldn’t have rushed into actual marriage with a girl he kind of liked, if it hadn’t been for the circumstances.  But doesn’t she get it?  It’s the best decision he ever made.  HE DOES LOVE HER SO MUCH.  She’s changed him with her day planners and penthouse apartment and marshmallow fluff.  Austin loves Malibu Baby.  Malibu Baby is so happy.  Helpless Phyllis is probably wishing for a lethal injection.

 

Austin takes one last moment to tell Phyllis he wishes he could give Summer what she really wants, for her to wake up.  The camera lingers on Phyllis’s face, and I have sudden wish to see her open her eyes and shout, “BOO!”  (She doesn’t.)

 

Nick and Sharon both get home.  He looks around at the mess of her stuff and asks where Mariah is.  “Who. Cares.  I don’t EVER want to see that girl again!”  Nick is like, what is going on?  WHERE is Mariah?  Gone, says Sharon.  She really has no idea where and she does not care.  She threw her out.  No no no!  Nick is freaking out.  She can’t throw this girl out of her life!  Sharon’s like you have no idea what happened!  Nick says it doesn’t MATTER what happened, they have to find her!  “I HATE HER, and I NEVER want to see her again!!!”  She asks Nick to give her ONE good reason why she should.

 

The music builds. Nick stares.

Edited August 23, 2014 by peach

[Joimiaroxeu]

Victor looks bored

Yeah, in between the times he's looking at the papers on his desk to find his next line in the script. You're not fooling me, EB!

 

I really don't see this as particularly evil since Summer would sign that thing anyway, if she knew about it.

Then why be shady about it unnecessarily? I think Victor just wanted to make sure Jack didn't find out and if Summer (or Austin) knew then it could have slipped. Plus, Victor has no legal standing in Phyllis' care and the POA notwithstanding, I think he could be charged with kidnapping.

 

Waah, don’t leave me all alone and potentially meet a surfer dude and have a life that doesn’t revolve around my bullshit!

And who's going to fulfill my booty call needs if you're gone? Waah! I am so ready for Adam to return and deal with this d-bag.

Edited August 24, 2014 by Joimiaroxeu

[photo fox]

May I remind you guys that Victor didn’t even know Sharon had a secret until Mariah told him? Fake Cassie was just to mess with Sharon for the fun of it.

This, so much. The fact that Sharon never gets to call him on this - and therefore I'm assuming we're supposed to have forgotten it - is the single most galling thing about this storyline.

[LeftPhalange]

 

Leslie did some soul searching, and she doesn’t want to be a defense attorney anymore.  Putting Ian Ward back on the street has left her really icked out.  Avery’s the one who loves defending criminals, not her, so she’s decided to take an ADA position.  “You want to prosecute?” asks Avery, like it’s witchcraft.  There’s less moral ambiguity, says Leslie, just the pursuit of justice.

 

If Leslie is worried about moral ambiguity I would think being on the defense side would be the safer of the two. Isn't it better to possibly help a guilty person go free rather than possibly send an innocent person to prison.

[Petunia13]

It's a bit nonsensical but with this show lets be glad she didn't start an online craft show or something random. Lol.

Poor Angell Conway. First the Winters bubble of suck now they are going to have her working with and in story with Bug.

Ah well it could have been worse they could have married her to Neil, bopping Devon, and fighting with that crazy bitch Lily.

[LeftPhalange]

Instead of making Michael impotent or giving him cancer or whatever they should have him and Leslie (and Avery if necessary) become partners and actually take on some big cases. Kevin could get his PI license and they could him to do background checks and other computer related stuff. They could even hire Gloria to do...something.

[jodo]

Instead of making Michael impotent or giving him cancer or whatever they should have him and Leslie (and Avery if necessary) become partners and actually take on some big cases. Kevin could get his PI license and they could him to do background checks and other computer related stuff. They could even hire Gloria to do...something.

Good idea!  Gloria as a ditzy Gal Friday would fit right in!  Nice comedy addition to Neil bumbling and stumbling around with his hands constantly reaching reaching reaching.  And the Mariah storyline of her trying to be a seductress to a guy twice her age.  

[peach]

Mon, Aug 25, 2014

 

Sharon is reminding Nick how she feels about Mariah.  “I HATE HER!!”  She’s a liar and an opportunist, and Sharon never wants to see her again!  Nick says Sharon doesn’t know what she’s saying.  There are things they didn’t know about Mariah, things Mariah doesn’t even know.

 

Ian finally catches up to Mariah at his suite.  She’s frantic.  She came to say goodbye because she is SO out of this town…and she can’t wait to leave this place, and..never..  Mariah breaks down in tears and falls in Ian’s harms.  Oh, honey, he consoles her.

 

Sharon is still yelling at Nick that Mariah was no innocent pawn in Victor’s or Ian’s plans.  She just wanted to take advantage of them.  Nick is resisting, and Sharon says, “YOU don’t know who Mariah really is!”  “She’s your daughter!” Nick blurts out.  “Mariah is your daughter, Sharon.”  Sharon stares at Nick like maybe he is the one who’s crazy.

 

Cane confronts Devon at the club, mentioning that sitting and staring at a drink is becoming a thing for him.  Devon doesn’t care.  Lily’s stealing food from the kitchen to take to Neil’s place for a dysfunctional family dinner, because the best way to cope with sudden blindness is to have everyone in your face.  Cane wants to know why Devon won’t come along, but he says Neil and Hilary don’t need him crowding them.  Cane tells him not to drink all night.  He leaves.  Devon gets up and Hilary appears.  She claims she sneaked off to do some work wearing a semi-formal black and white maxi dress, except not really, she needed to see Devon. 

 

Neil is still sniping at Lily as he tries to get around his apartment without any help.  He catches himself and apologizes for his bad manners.  Lily says she’s going to see if the pasta salad is ready before Cane and Hilary get there.  I’m pretty sure it’s ready since she stole it from the club.  Someone is knocking on the door, and Neil insists he can answer it himself. 

 

It’s Jack and Kelly!  They sure like dropping in on folks.  They have no idea what’s wrong with him, but they stopped by to see how he is anyway.  Good thing it’s not Ebola.  They brought flowers and Chelsea’s sketches for him to see.  Awk-ward!  “Jack, I’ve been trying to tell you since you blew through the front door, man, I can’t see the sketches!  I can’t see anything.”  Stunned silence.

 

Colin and Bad Guy are meeting in the park to talk terms.  They sit on different park benches so they aren’t looking at each other.  Nothing weird-looking about that at all.   Bad Guy thinks Colin can just move the cash nice and clean through his wife’s clothing business.  Obviously this guy has never worked retail.   Colin says he will leave his family out of this.

 

Neil’s telling Jack and Kelly the life lesson he learned about randomly connecting loose wires.  Jack cannot believe he didn’t know about this, and why didn’t somebody call him?  Lily said it all happened really fast.  Jack doesn’t want them to worry, business can wait.  Neil assures them that his loss of sight is totally temporary.  They think that sounds great until they see Lily’s face.

 

Hilary is saying a whole lot of nothing, as usual, with Devon.  Blah blah.  I don’t know where in the time-space continuum she is, because she says she prays every night that Neil gets his sight back, which was basically just LAST NIGHT.  She says what if prayers aren’t enough, and he never does see again?  Devon guesses that she’ll just live a lie the rest of her life, but hey, maybe Neil won’t notice they’re in love because he can’t see the way Devon looks at her.  Waah.  Poor Devon can’t steal his blind daddy’s wife.

 

He says he went most of his life without a father, and then Neil gave him a great life. Hilary says he did the same for her.  Now Devon feels like he’s stabbing him in the back, because, um, he is.  She thinks he should just let it go.  He wishes he could run far away but now he can’t go anywhere because Neil needs him.  She says the thing between them was just a dream, but now they’re awake.  Blah blah, hug.

 

Sharon tells Nick she thought of Mariah as a daughter, too.  She so wanted her to be like Cassie, like family to her.  Nick says she is not “like” her daughter, she IS her own flesh and blood.  She says he’s not making any sense.  Nick says he didn’t trust Mariah, so he went digging into her past to find out how she could resemble Cassie in so many ways.  It’s just a strange coincidence, insists Sharon.  It’s NOT a coincidence, says Nick.  Cassie and Mariah are sisters.  “Sharon, you had twins!”

 

No, says Sharon.  She thinks she would know if that happened.  Nick explains how Helen Copeland was the nurse that took her baby.  Sharon’s like, why would she steal a baby just so she could neglect it?  Helen never wanted a kid.  Nick says they know Helen was in Ian’s cult and under his thumb, so she stole a baby for someone who couldn’t have any children…Ian Ward.  Sharon stares, like, holy shit.

 

Mariah is ranting in Ian’s suite.  “Poor little Sharon, and all of her mental anguish.  But she sure knows how to dish out the misery!”  Ian thinks they can fix any misunderstanding, because Sharon cares about her.  “They call ME a con,” says Mariah, “but Sharon, SHARON is a con, just lies and blowing smoke, like my MOTHER!  Like Tyler! Helen!  Sharon!  They’re all the same!”  Ian insists that Sharon opened her heart up to Mariah, and there’s a reason she fit into the home of Sharon and Nick.  Well, Sharon doesn’t deserve Nick!!  Ian says there is so much more to her resemblance to Cassie, and it’s time she knows.

 

Colin and Bad Guy keep up their redundant conversation about Colin owing money.  Someone’s coming!  Bad Guy scampers off suspiciously.  It’s Cane.  He asks what all that was about, “and don’t say it was nothing.”

 

Neil says he’s optimistic, like when Jack had his spinal injury or when Devon went deaf.  He swears it will be days, maybe weeks.  Jack says his staff will step up until then.  I hope he doesn't mean Billy.  Hilary and Devon show up.  Devon says she was at the club so he offered her a ride. Does Hilary own a frigging car?  Neil thanks Devon for bringing his wife back home to him, and kisses her.  Jack looks back and forth, like, hmm.

 

Colin pretends he’s planning Katherine’s party, and that was, um, Chester, the park rec.  I’m not sure what a park rec is but I guess it has to do with recreation, and not murdering loan sharks.  Cane says to cut the crap.  He knows the look Colin has when he puts out a hit, and the look when his luck runs out.   Colin says this isn’t Oz, and he doesn’t do that stuff anymore.  Cane says he should be with his annoying family right now, and he doesn’t want to do this with Colin anymore. He let him back in his life and if he screws that up…Colin tells him to go home. “I don’t have a problem in the world.”

 

Hilary calls everyone to the table.  Devon disses Lily for taking pasta salad instead of lobster or something, ha! Lily thinks Neil needs to sell the house that tried to murder him, but Neil isn’t giving up just because some sparks flew out of a box, and into his brain.  Hilary tries to serve some pasta salad onto his plate, but Neil can DO IT, OKAY?  So he never stops talking and jams his spoon into the bowl, with his bandaged hand, and knocks it on the floor like a big old blind klutz.  <gasp!>  There is commotion.  Devon blames Lily!  Hilary tells everyone to stop, and Neil puts on a Summer frown.

 

Ian tells Mariah she is smart, clever, fiery, and loyal, and Sharon saw that.  Mariah says NICK is the one who saw it.  And he didn’t look at her like a daughter.  Oh, Mariah, says Ian, what did you do?  She just gave him the opening he clearly wanted…in lingerie.  Ian winces HARD.  And how did Nick react?  Well, he didn’t.  Sharon got there first, and she totally flipped out.  Ian says Mariah’s put everything at risk!

 

Mariah’s like, WHAT “everything?”  She stalked the woman, and then she gave her a job, a bed, and a bowl of ice cream.  “She’s a freak!”  Plus she has that terrible secret that can destroy NICK.  All Ian cares about is Mariah, she deserves love and fulfillment.  Mariah goes on about how she was a present for Nick, and then Sharon was a big meanie and said nasty things and threw her out.  She HATES HER, and she wants to be gone from this town and forget she ever knew anyone here.  Ian thinks their path has led them to this moment.  Things can still work out how they’re supposed to.

 

Nick tells Sharon that Grace helped him piece it together.  She remembered the nurse that day, that it was Helen and how she wouldn’t let them in the delivery room.  Sharon insists that she would have known, she would have felt it. Nick says they drugged her up.  He got a confession from Dr. Hill who delivered Cassie..and Mariah.  That’s kind of hard to argue.

 

Sharon says she never even knew if it was a boy or a girl.  They wouldn’t let her hold the baby, and she was screaming, so the nurse came and gave her a shot and knocked her out.  Sharon is weeping.  Nick says Helen knew there was another baby that Sharon would never know about.  She says, it’s true, isn’t it?  Mariah has Cassie’s face because she’s Cassie’s twin.

 

Sharon says how could I bring another soul into this world and not know in my heart and my mind?  Nick says because she was drugged and manipulated!  Sharon has tears running down her face.  “My child was out there in the world, with people who didn’t love her.  Mariah needed me.”  Nick says she couldn’t have known, it is not her fault.  “I abandoned her,” says Sharon.  “And then I did it again, today.  My daughter, my baby.  I told Mariah I wished I’d never met her.  I told my daughter that I never wanted to see her again.”

 

Mariah tells Ian she can’t wait to leave Genoa City.  Ian says Nick and Sharon took her in!  “Because I have a dead girl’s face!”  No, says Ian, they still could have wanted her gone, but they accepted her.  He thinks Sharon even loves her…for who she is.   He gives her a pep talk about how great she is, and there are wonders in her, endless wonders.  He has faith that the world can see her as he sees her.
Ian says as soon as he held her in his arms, when she was a little baby, he knew she would change his life.  So he let her think that freak, Helen, was her mother instead of actually adopting her.  Anyway, she tearfully says Ian’s always been the only one she could trust, ever since he stole her.

 

Neil pouts with his arms folded while they make plans to acquire more food from the club instead of just ordering a pizza like normal people.  Lily wants to go check on Cane, though, so Kelly offers to go along.  Jack tells Hilary he’s seen her with Neil and Devon.  She gets dropped into their family dynamic, and now this happens.  He really wishes she would have called.  Hilary says but there is nothing anyone can do.  How about maybe calling because YOU BOTH WORK FOR HIM.  Jack understands.  He gives her a pep talk. 

 

Jack gives Neil a pep talk, too.  Neil says he’s got this.  “This is short term, baby.”  Electrocuting your brain also causes delusions, because he starts telling Jack about his super powers of observation again, and how he hears everything in voices now, he can even hear what people are thinking.  Devon and Hilary look at each other, but Neil doesn’t even hear it.

 

Sharon says she failed Mariah from the moment she was born, leaving her to be raised by a predator and a woman who didn’t love her.  And when she finally had her close again, she threw her out!  Nick is like, what even happened?  The last time he saw them, they were eating ice cream.  Did Mariah double dip or something?  She tried to seduce you, Nick!  He winces, like GROSS!  He thinks it was a misunderstanding, but Sharon says Mariah admitted it.  She thought they had chemistry, a connection. 

 

Nick looks like he’s going to throw up.  She looks like his DAUGHTER.  Sharon says Mariah hates how much she looks like Cassie, and thought Nick saw her as different.  He says he was being nicer to her at work so he didn’t chase her off.  Sharon tells him about the lingerie, and how she felt so betrayed and lost her temper.  But she says OF COURSE she acts out like that, because she was abandoned and unloved.  And Sharon did it AGAIN.  They have got to find her!  Nick says he knows the first place to look.

 

Cane reminds Colin that he went to bat for him with Victor Newman. He could have told Victor that he was behind the Bonaventure deal, but he didn’t.  Bonaventure? What’s that?  Oh, was that the company that Victor was facing a federal indictment over that they NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN?  Cane says he saved Colin’s ass.  Colin says his ass is very grateful.  Blah blah changed man.  Cane demands that Colin tell him what is going on, and he will help him.

 

Jack gives Neil a hug and leaves.  Neil asks what’s cooking with Devon and Hilary?  Ha..ha..nervous laughter and Hilary hugs Neil.  Devon gets a call from Jill but he can’t talk because it’s a real tricky time.  Neil asks if that was about Katherine’s remembrance.  Yep, but Devon isn’t going, they can stay in and watch a game, I MEAN LISTEN, um, listen to a game.  NO.  Neil says Devon is going to that remembrance.  And so am I, Neil says defiantly.  Is this thing in the middle of the night??  And I would hope Devon would go, since he got ALL OF KATHERINE'S MONEY.

 

Kelly tries to comfort Lily.  She’s upset about how bad things are, but I guess she’ll deal with it.  Nick and Sharon rush in.  They need her help!

 

Jack and Kelly are suddenly back at his place, HOME together for the first night.  They are so lucky.  They talk about Neil, and Jack remembers his own denial when he was in a hospital bed.  Which wasn’t really denial since he seems to walk just fine.

 

Neil is obstinate about going to this remembrance, which is about as clear as mud right now.  Devon says they haven’t told anyone about his accident yet, but if he’s set on going, Devon will tell Jill so Neil doesn’t have to answer a bunch of questions.

 

Colin tells Cane not to worry.  Cane says it doesn’t have to be this way, and if it is, it’s Colin’s fault.  He leaves.  Bad Guy comes back and asks if he doesn’t want Junior to know that Colin’s in deep to him?  Bad Guy doesn’t get any of this.  Colin marries his wife for her bank account and now he’s all chivalry?  Bad Guy says the money is due NOW, which is what he always says, but Colin better reconsider bringing him into the family business before chivalry is really, truly DEAD.  Cane eavesdrops.

 

Lily tells Nick and Sharon that Ian checked out an hour ago, and took Mariah with him!

[miamama]

Sometimes when I'm bored, I re-read Peach's recaps.

 

This had me on the floor:

 

It’s Jack and Kelly!  They sure like dropping in on folks.  They have no idea what’s wrong with him, but they stopped by to see how he is anyway.  Good thing it’s not Ebola.

 

[peach]

Sometimes when I'm bored, I re-read Peach's recaps.

 

This had me on the floor:

LOL.  You know if there were an Ebola outbreak in Genoa City, it would spell the death of us all.

Edited August 27, 2014 by peach

[peach]

Tue, Aug 26, 2012   It Gets Weird

 

Jill is in her parlor, re-reading Katherine’s letter to her.  Jill, I want you to have all that I value.  Everything that I give you is right in front of you.  You just have to look in the right place.  A tear rolls down Jill’s cheek.  If only the right place was Devon’s bank account.  Colin comes in and tells her it’s time to go to Katherine’s party.   Jill cries that she misses her, she can’t believe it’s been a year, especially since her storyline hasn’t advanced.

 

Nikki is dressed in GCRB lace and is also reading her letter.  Hers is about digging into her baby’s past, and that she doesn’t have to feel ashamed or alone any longer.  Nikki weeps.  “I do still feel alone, Katherine.”  She stares at a bottle of vodka that Victor so thoughtfully leaves lying around his alcoholic wife.  He comes in, and Nikki pretends she’s ready to celebrate at the party.

 

Dylan’s at Crimson Lights, just a lonely barrista writing in his journal, and Avery walks in wearing the beigest shade of beige dress.  “Got a minute?”  She says he’s gone two nights now without talking about what happened at the trial.  He plays dumb, at least I think he’s playing.  She asks him what he’s writing in his journal.  He’s still blank, and she asks if they’re going to keep avoiding each other or deal with this?!  Dylan..stares.  Maybe he’s switched to decaf.

 

Lauren and Michael stop by to check on Kevin at the station.  Lauren’s in killer red, and they’re on the way to the party, but wanted to see if Kev decided to stick around.  He says it’s their lucky day, they must be thrilled.  Lauren says they are thrilled because they thought he was serious about leaving town.  Well, he changed his mind, he’s unpredictable like that.  Michael says he’s not proud of the argument they had, and he’s glad Kevin’s still there. 

 

Kevin’s going to the party, too, because Mrs. C always believed in him.  “And I don’t?  Is that what you’re saying?” asks Michael.  Uh, no, because not everything is about YOU, Michael.  He just meant that Mrs. C was always rooting for Kevin and Chloe, and if she knew Chloe was divorcing him, it would kill her.  Michael whines some more about how HE knows that, too.  Maybe Michael is going through menopause.  Anyway, for the third time, they’re glad Kevin didn’t leave.  He says well, for today. Who knows about tomorrow?

 

Courtney rushes into Paul’s office with information that there have been no sightings of Ian and Mariah.  Guess she’s gone back to plain clothes which look much less silly than her uniform.  Mysteriously, the police are searching for a non-missing adult person that left town with a close, personal friend.  Paul says they’ll have to broaden their search. He’s worried Ian will figure out they’re closing in, and could disappear “like that” with Mariah.  Am I missing something?  Or is this just about 20 year old alleged baby buying?

 

Noah finds Sharon at the cottage.  She must have been searching for Mariah all night because she’s wearing the same clothes.  Noah is like, what is going on, one minute she’s throwing Mariah out, and the next she’s trying to find her again.  Sharon says they have to find her and bring her home because she’s family.  Noah’s like, well, you THOUGHT of her like family.  Sharon explains that Mariah is her daughter…and his sister. 

 

Nick is blazing into Victor’s.  He needs to talk to them about Mariah!  Victor assumes he’s there to accuse him of egging on this Mariah girl to seduce him.  Nikki is like, WHAT?  She looks like she smelled rotten eggs and wants to know why SHE doesn’t know anything about gossip that good.  Nick doesn’t care about that, Mariah is gone and he NEEDS to find her.  Victor says if she’s gone, it’s a blessing for all concerned.  Thatwoman should have left town a long time ago.  Nick says thatwoman that YOU hired to destroy Sharon...it’s no coincidence that she looks like Cassie.  They’re twins!  Mariah is Sharon’s daughter.   They’re shocked.  What are you talking about, asks Victor.

 

Colin tells Jill it’s going to be a difficult day.  Jill says she’s been so ungrateful because Katherine really did leave her what she valued most, this house, and the necklace that she’s hidden under her blouse.  Murphy arrives.  He thanks Jill and Esther for planning the party. 

 

Michael chides Kevin for even thinking about being an independent adult and leaving town.  Kevin says he can’t go the party til he clears his desk…Michael bitches some more til Lauren makes him leave.  Courtney is sweeping by, telling Paul she’ll contact the rest of the search team.  Paul tells Kevin he has a warrant to search all the cell phone and credit card records, etc to track down Ian Ward and Mariah Copeland.  MARIAH?  He was supposed to meet her last night and she never showed up!  Is she in danger?  Paul says he has no reason to believe that right now…THEN HOW DID YOU GET A WARRANT?...but get as much info as he can as quickly as possible. 

 

Sharon explains to Noah how Helen Copeland stole her twin baby.

 

Nick explains to Victor and Nikki how Ian Ward got Helen to steal Sharon’s twin baby.

 

Sharon says they’ll have to get the rest of the details after they track down Ian by abusing police powers.  Noah’s like, so she’s my sister?  Sharon knows it’s a lot to absorb.  Noah says, but what about you?  I am so sorry.  They hug.

 

Nikki sits down, stunned.  “I am so sorry this happened to Sharon.  I know exactly what she’s going through.”  That’s terrible, says Victor, but that girl is NOT Cassie, and he hopes they don’t intend to embrace her as the prodigal daughter returning.  But she IS Sharon’s daughter, says Nick.  She is Noah and Faith’s sister.  “And given the way you’ve treated Sharon, I highly doubt you care the kind of trouble Mariah could cause for her in the future.” 

 

Nicholas, scolds Nikki, your father hasn’t interfered with you and Sharon in a long time!  LOL!  Oh yeah, how about when she caught him cooking up something with her psychiatrist?  WHAT? says Nikki again.   Victor’s like hey, she jumped to the wrong conclusion, mostly that Dr. Mead would go along with him.  Nick just cares about Ian being brought to justice, and Mariah being brought home to her mother.

 

Jill is taking the dreaded music box to the party because she never knew why Kay gave it to her in the first place.  Maybe after today it will make more sense, at least more than the pillow through the chandelier story.  Esther nags that it’s time to get to the park, so Colin asks her to get the front door for them because I guess opening doors is beneath criminals like himself.  Murphy takes Jill aside and says there’s something he needs to do at the party.   She’s not the only one who got an envelope with instructions.

 

Michael and Lauren arrive at the park.  They see a portrait of Kay, and Michael says things haven’t been the same without her.  This show sucks now. Lauren agrees.  Lauren says she made every moment count.  Michael flatters his exquisite, sexy wife, and he has a very special surprise planned for her.  Lauren smiles but still looks kind of sad. 

 

Dylan is still pissed that Austin barely got a slap on the wrist, but Avery and Paul are the actual victims, and if they’re okay with the deal, he has to respect it.  Blah blah, he loves her and nothing’s ever going to change that.  So much ado about nothing.

 

Paul pays a visit to Nick at the ranch, and says there has been no cell phone or credit card activity since Ian and Mariah left the club together, and no GPS signal, which means Ian must have turned it off to avoid being traced,  “So in other words, you came over here to tell us exactly nothing,” says Victor.  Not really, he has some info Nick should know.

 

Kevin greets Murphy at the park.  Murphy’s loving life, he’s so blessed.  Kevin wishes he’d had more time with her.  Michael asks if he meant Kay or Chloe.  What difference does it make, they’re both gone.  And soon Kevin might be, too.  Michael says that’s the attitude that worries him.  Blah, lecture, blah.  Kevin says to think about Katherine, it IS her day.

 

Sharon and Noah worry.  Nick gets home.  Noah says it’s a lot to process.  He loves on his parents, and leaves.  Give this sweet guy a story!!!  Nick says his parents reacted just like he expected them to.  Paul told them Ian and Mariah have gone completely off the grid, but he did find out Mariah was supposed to meet up with Kevin last night.  Sharon thinks maybe Ian forced her to go with him.  She just has a terrible feeling she’s in trouble.

 

Paul is telling Victor and Nikki they’re doing everything they can to get Ian Ward incarcerated, and Mariah reunited with her mother.  “How many lives does that bastard have to ruin before he gets what he deserves?” moans Nikki.  Omg!  Dylan!  Nikki says Dylan DESPISES Ian, and she’s got to go tell him about this situation that has nothing to do with him before he finds out some other way!  But what about Katherine’s party?  Dylan not being linked to this problem is way more important than that!  Paul thinks he should go with her in order to keep a lid on that famous temper of Dylan’s. 

 

Victor is kind of like GMAB.  And he thinks the next development will be Ian contacting HIM.  He’d told Victor before that he had information about his family, and he thought it was about Dylan’s paternity.  Now they realize it must be about Mariah.

 

Ian has taken Mariah to a storage unit.  He says after Victor destroyed his business (unexplained), he had to come up with some other kind of office.  He’s just there to gather some things.  He pours them glasses of wine while Mariah thanks him for getting her out of GC.  He says change is healthy.  “Here’s to my lovely Mariah and the next phase of her life.”  She smiles and says she’ll drink to that.  Ian grins and watches her drink up, without drinking himself.  Uh-oh.

 

Jill tells Lauren she’s been missing Kay a lot, but if that old broad wants a party, they’re going to give her a party.  Lauren pretends everything is fine with Michael, but then spills her guts about how “nothing” happened with him the other day.  Jill says Kay would say don’t make something out of nothing.  Michael is super in love with Lauren.

 

Kevin and Esther talk about Kay and Delia.  He just sees a big empty space where they should be.  He’s lost too many people to ever feel whole again.  Esther says but she got a sweet text from Chloe today remembering Mrs. C.  Kevin says he got something from her too, DIVORCE PAPERS.  Esther is shocked.  Kevin says if that’s what’s best for Chloe, that’s fine, but he’s just gonna grab a bottle of champagne.

 

Avery had interesting news to share with Dylan, but Paul and Nikki interrupt.  The police are looking for Ian because they’ve discovered that Mariah is Sharon’s daughter.  Mariah and Cassie were identical twins, and Ian stole one of them at birth in the mother of all Genoa City coincidences. 

 

Noah meets up with Courtney at the station.  She tells him she already knew about Mariah, but thought his parents should tell him that news.  Noah says he never liked Mariah living with his mom, but it turns out that’s where she should have been the whole time.

 

Sharon asks Nick WHY Ian would take her child?  Nick says because Ian is a sociopath.  Right, but why HER baby?    She was a nobody, with no ties to the Newman family, and why give her to Helen who didn’t even want a child?  Ooo, careful Sharon, you’re poking a lot of holes in this scenario.  Nick says he’s sorry, he wishes he had answers, but he doesn’t because this story makes no sense.  Sharon says she would have given Mariah up for adoption, too, but to a family that wanted her.  She wishes Alice had adopted both of them, and then at least they would have had each other!  Eventually she would have ended up back with them and they would have loved her.  But that man has stolen her future from her, and now he’s taken her again!

 

Colin tells Lauren he’s excited to be working with her.  She doesn’t even want to talk about it.  Jill’s glad he’s so into opening a new shop.

 

Nikki worries about Sharon.  Dylan worries about Nikki, but she says Nick and Sharon need the support.  She’s got to get to the memorial party, it’s what she needs most.  Paul and Nikki leave.

 

Noah tells Courtney about how he was a preemie and almost didn’t make it, so his mom’s friend Grace went looking for Cassie.  Cassie was the best, and it tore their family apart when she died.  He’s really bummed out about everything that’s happened to Mariah.   Courtney promises they will find her.

 

Victor stops by the cottage to tell them he’s helping find Mariah and Ian.  Nick is glad for his resources, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to forget the stuff he’s done.  Victor doesn’t really care, but he’s going to make that sonofabitch Ian pay, that’s all he came to tell them.  He leaves.  Sharon doesn’t care why he helps as long as there are more people searching.  IAN CALLS.  “Where is she?” asks Sharon.  “Where is my daughter?”  Ian smiles.

 

Michael brings Lauren fruit.  Jill and Murphy talk about Kay.  He won’t give her a hint about what Katherine has planned, but when everyone gets there, Katherine will tell them all herself.

 

Victor asks Nikki how Dylan reacted.  She says he was upset but strangely calm.  It’s the decaf.  She’s glad she went to see him in person.  She’s ready to go to the park, but Victor says it’s going to be a while because he’s got to get his security team on the Mariah search.  She seems really disappointed but says she’ll meet him there.  She pulls her letter out of her golden clutch again.   Family matters. 

 

Nikki looks at heaven and says a year ago Kay put her on that quest to find her son.  It was quite a gift to be given another son at her age…but it also brought such unbearable pain to everyone she knows.  Waah.  She flashes back to Ian arriving at her house the first time, Dylan yelling and smashing stuff because Ian was suing her, Ian leering about remembering his special time with Nikki, reading her meanie journal words, her journal being leaked.  It really seems like Nikki’s the only one complaining.

 

She walks over to the bar in the middle of her living room and sniffs the liquor.  She pours it in a glass and downs it.  She fake coughs, and then pours herself some more.  She's officially off the wagon.

 

Paul blah blahs about giving Sharon and Mariah another chance.

 

Ian’s on speaker phone and tells Nick and Sharon they’ve finally put together the pieces about Mariah!  He thought they would.  “You tell us where she is, Ward!” shouts Nick.  “Now!”  Awww, it’s a shame Sharon kicked Mariah out of her house.  Her own daughter.  Sharon says DON’T HURT HER.  Ian says if she wants to hear from Mariah again, she’ll wait for his instructions.  Sharon demands to talk to Mariah, but Ian hangs  up.

 

He says everything is going according to plan.  “And today, my dear Mariah, it’s going to be a special day for the two of us, a day that I’ve waited for a long, long time.”  Mariah’s unconscious in a chair…wearing a wedding dress and veil! So he changed her clothes, which gross, but he did do a nice job with her hair.  He kisses her hand.  WEIRD!

[movinon]

This show is getting weirder all the time - Ian changing Mariah into a wedding gown is even weirder than her having the hots for Nick.  At least she thought of him as a father.  Flash - this show is in the toilet - time to flush!!!

[Petunia13]

Kev should have thought about how great Kay is and how much she stood by him when he and his village idiot wife were robbing her up until her death.

Everyone's diologue was right though she was awesome and GC isn't the same without her. Kay was my favorite female character on the show and Jeanne Cooper's death was very difficult for this viewer. She was basically the heart of the show and was still bringing it in her performances until The End. (Dear God in Heaven something got in my eye. Sniffle).

Ian must think marrying Mariah -Sharon's daughter and a defacto Newman- will stick it to Nikki and Grampire. He's probably right since they could give a flying fuck about Noah. But Ian marrying Shit For Brains would have gotten their goat more. I'm talking about Summer.

Edited August 27, 2014 by Petunia13

[peach]

I'm still aggravated that they didn't really delve into a plot of Summer joining Ian's cult. 

[peach]

double post

Edited August 27, 2014 by peach

[LeftPhalange]

 

I'm still aggravated that they didn't really delve into a plot of Summer joining Ian's cult.

 

Ian probably likes a challenge and manipulating Summer would have been way too easy.

[peach]

Wed, Aug 27, 2014  Kay Chancellor Is God Now

 

We open with a lingering shot of Kay Chancellor’s portrait, and I think it’s safe to say we all miss the good old days.  “It’s gonna be a hell of a day,” says Murphy.  Yeah, says Jill, once he tells her what the big secret instructions are from the great beyond.  Cane and Lily have arrived, and she is wearing what is possibly her shortest dress yet.  It’s yellow and looks like a pinafore I had when I was FIVE.  Murphy’s lips are sealed about the secret.

 

Billy got a text from Victoria, so he broke several traffic laws and rushed down the hallway to get to her, instead of just texting her back to find out Johnny has preschool orientation today.  The doctor’s given her the all clear, but she’s a prisoner of hospital bureaucracy at her son’s expense.  “Not if we stage a prison break,” says Billy.  Omg, I think I would even rather clean my house than cover this nonsense today.

 

Reminder that Nikki is hitting the bottle of vodka in her living room.

 

Jill thanks Victor for coming to Kay’s party.  She’s declared a truce, but just for today, even though Victor wouldn’t know the difference since Jill just sits around the house with Colin.  Nina shows up.  Blah blah.  Then Hilary escorts Neil up to the group.  She’s wearing pink, and he’s wearing some aviator shades.  Jill introduces Nina to Hilary and says she got Neil to the altar so fast it made her head spin!

 

Neil lost his sense of humor with his sense of sight.  “Why don’t you stop insulting me and my wife, Jill,” he solemnly grouches.  “Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.  Does it make you feel good?”  (It’s my wife and I, Neil)  Jill says if he’s gonna insult HER, he better take off his sunglasses and look her in the eye.  HAHA.   Devon cringes, as well he should.  Way to go, Devon, for not telling anyone.

 

Neil takes off his sunglasses…but he can’t look her in the eye…because he can’t see.

 

Billy’s swiped some surgical scrubs and mask.  Do I even have to acknowledge the rest of this?  It’s hijinks time.  He’s pretending to take Victoria to get an xray and disguises her with glasses and a shower cap so they can leave the hospital.  She’s still wearing a pink hospital gown.  No one will notice that.

 

Neil’s telling the story AGAIN of how he connected random wires and woke up in the dark.  Everyone is sorry to hear that!  Jill hugs Neil, and he starts shouting, “Stop! STOP! ALL OF YOU!”  Just frigging ignore  him and see how much he likes that.  Neil says it’s only temporary, and everyone else blathers about how they’re going to help him.

 

Victor walks up and says he’ll fly in the best doctors, K?  Like Devon isn’t taking care of the flying doctors thing.  Neil thanks him but says what he really needs is for everyone to stop being such good friends and treating him like a child, like a victim.  Again with how he’s NOT blind, he just can’t see right now. 

 

Nikki is around the corner, eating a mint.  Omg, when is someone going to tell alcoholics that Altoids do NOT work.  We ALL know!!  You just have minty alcohol breath now.

 

Neil says to focus on Katherine, this is her day.   Okay, okay.  Jill gives Murphy the stage, but Victor says they have to wait for Nikki.  She comes around the corner and says, “Let’s do this!” WOOO HOOO!  Murphy boringly reads a letter from Katherine.  Blah blah blaaaaaah.  He finally breaks down, so Michael takes over.  The gist of the letter is that they all have to write their own letters, put them in a silver bowl and light them on fire, so the smoke delivers their words to her.  O_o   Sooo…Ian isn’t the cult leader, Katherine is?   Kay is God now? 

 

Jill thinks playing pen pals with a ghost sounds pretty awful, too.  “For you cynics out there, I want you to participate anyway.”  Kay thinks this might help them manage all their feelz.  WHY WOULD KAY CHANCELLOR WASTE HER LAST DAYS PLANNING TO BE THEIR THERAPIST FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE?  She trusts they’ll find the answers they’re looking for.  Did people take off of work for this??  Esther is the only one who thinks it will be fun.  Jill looks pained.  No music box clues today.

 

Everyone sounds like they’re writing home from camp.  Paul goes first.  She sent Nikki on a journey and it ended up being his kid too, so thanks a bunch.  Nikki tells Kay that the kids are doing great (???) and Victor wants to go on vacation.  Oh, wait, those are all lies.  She’s been drinking again…if only Kay were here.  I think you’re allowed to find a new sponsor when the old one dies.  Lauren writes that she did something stupid that risked her marriage but doesn’t go into details like sending her family to prison. She and Michael put things back together better than ever but now “things” aren’t quite [hard] right.

 

Michael tells Kay he couldn’t be happier and he can feel her smiling down on them.  Well, now she knows about your problem, Michael, how embarrassing.  Colin actually admits in writing that he’s gone behind Jill’s and Lauren’s backs to drag the boutique into a money laundering scheme.  You know what sounds like a scheme to me?  Getting people to write down their secrets in the town square.  Colin says he doesn’t have a choice, he’s just trying to keep his family safe. He loves them that much.  See, he really means it because he wrote it in this letter.

 

Esther writes that she puts up with Jill for Kay’s sake, and keeps the house as beautiful as ever except for cleaning the chandeliers.  But it’s just not the same without her.  Murphy’s having a good time til he sees her again. Nina tells Kay that thanks to her letter, she got over Paul and writer’s block, too.  Lily says her dad needs help.  Neil’s just holding his clipboard.  Cane gossips about how Hilary plays the dutiful wife, and Devon the dutiful son, but how long can it last?  Devon writes that he knows Dad needs Hilary but he can’t stop thinking about her.  He has to believe there’s a way for them to be together.

 

Hilary offers to take dictation for Neil.  Nope, he’s got this.  He can write in his sleep, you guys.  But he admits he needs her to read it back OUT LOUD.  It says Katherine is with angels, but he has one of his own right here.  Devon frowns and tears up his letter.  Way to play it cool, Devon.  Lily notices and acts like this is seventh grade.  “Why are you doing that?” she whines.  Neil wants to know what’s happened?!  Lily tattles that Devon just tore up his paper.  Narc.  Neil would like to know why he’s doing that, too, son.   Devon didn’t like it, okay, so he’s starting over.  Gawsh.

 

Billy and Victoria are home from preschool orientation, and it seems like Billy’s really going to fit in.  Victoria changed into real clothes at some point, and now they’re going to hang out instead of go to the memorial. They have no idea what a good idea that was.  Billy’s going to make food for Vicky and calls Abby (maybe? Or Chelsea?) to ask for a favor.  We never come back to this.

 

Kevin’s letter gets a little weird.  After Kay left him a key, he unlocked his mind and let his imagination run wild, and it took him to some scary places.  Was Detective Harding in those places, Kevin? 

 

Jack trusts that Kay and his dad are having a grand old time, and also, he dumped Phyllis.    Victor tells Kay that he’s got a project involving Phyllis and she most certainly wouldn’t approve.  Like he would write that down.  He just wants to say he misses her, he really does.  This show sucks without her.  

 

Everyone tosses their letters in the silver bowl.  Jill presents a blank sheet of paper.  Murphy, the bowl monitor, notices she didn’t write anything.  She has nothing to say to Katherine, since Katherine obviously has nothing to say to her about the stupid music box.  “So, put that in your bowl and smoke it.”  HA!  Murphy holds the bowl out for Neil so he can blind klutz knock it over and spill the letters on the ground.  Jack helps scoop them up…and sees Victor’s letter!  He conveniently wrote his name right there on the front.  Jack slyly takes it and puts it in his jacket pocket. 

 

After the commercial break, Jack realizes he’s one of the good guys, so he grudgingly throws Victor’s letter in the bowl, too.  How…boring. 

 

It’s time to light the fire of tawdry secrets and scary places.  Victor’s half holding up Nikki, and Murphy says as Katherine’s closest friend, it’s only right that she do the honors.  Omg, they’re going to give her a match?  I’m surprised Neil isn’t demanding that HE CAN DO IT.

 

Jill bitches to Colin about NIKKI doing the honors, and how this is the story of her life.   Colin makes it better with a kiss.  Nikki fumbles around with the matches and burns the letters without an Altoid vodka fumed incident.  We see Kay’s portrait through the flames like maybe she’s the devil instead of God.

 

Murphy reads Kay’s closing remarks.  Thanks for trusting her with your desires and fears.  If you’re at peace, she celebrates with you.  For the rest, get counseling.  Not even dead Kay Chancellor can solve your problems and deceptions.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Live one day at a time.  I think Murphy’s just making stuff up now.  Victor gets a text and almost drops Nikki to go check his phone.  “Until next year, my loved ones, take care.”  Wait.  They’re supposed to do this stupid exercise EVERY YEAR?  This is worse than the fashion show!!!

 

Victor calls Dr. Cutler. He’s just examined Phyllis, he says in his clipped 40’s movie voice.  So, can he wake her up or what?

 

High Achiever Billy brags about how Victoria loves his PB&J sandwiches.  Oh, Billy, no credit is too small for you.  They act like Johnny is five instead of two, with full language skills, and is going to kindergarten instead of plain old daycare.  That brings up Delia, boo hoo.  Johnny’s with Hannah NOW, of course, so they’re…alone.

 

Esther thinks the letter writing thing was a beautiful ceremony.  Murphy turns on an iPod because Kay wanted this to be a PARTY!  With WWII music!!  People start dancing, and Hilary asks Neil if he wants to try.  Now Neil is a blind guy, so he wants DEVON to dance with his beautiful wife.

 

Dr. Cutler is ready to start on Phyllis, but he wants Victor to understand there are no guarantees.  Other than that, the process works super fast because of course.

 

Paul wants Nikki to sit down because she seems a little shaky.  She’s FIIINE.  Victor comes back and she says she doesn’t need the two of them hovering over her!  She just needs a couple of minutes ALONE.  Then she, like, kinda trot jogs around the corner, and clings to the vines.  Hey, hottie Stitch comes jogging by!

 

He notices she’s not doing too swell and asks if she’s okay.  She gets belligerent and says he can’t come sneaking up on people and scaring them like that!  He’s like, ummm, I’m jogging?  He’s not even wearing a ski mask.  He says she doesn’t seem like herself.  “Oh, thass rich,” she slurs, “coming from someone who shtole some manss identitity.”  Stitch squints.  Uh-huh.  She’s a little “off” and it ain’t her MS.  She says well then he solved her problem and can run along now. 

 

Victor walks up. What’s this?  She’s meeting with a doctor now, should he be concerned?  Um, is he drunk too?  Talking to a jogging doctor is not “meeting with him.”  Stitch suggests Victor needs to take Nikki home.  Thanks a LOT, Dr. Raaayburn!  Victor is like, wtf?

 

Nina says she’s sorry she missed Cricket.  Paul says she had a trial she couldn’t out of.  Oh, well if she’d have been there maybe Nina wouldn’t have had to watch Paul hanging all over NIKKI.  Uhh, yeah, they’re friends.  Yeah, well she heard about the SON they share.  Yep, Paul’s a dad, and it’s a complicated sitch.  Nina says that still doesn’t change the fact that he and Cricket are MARRIED.  They tied the knot right there, in fact.  Uh, Paul’s aware of that.  Is there something she’s trying to say, or…? Nina says, you ended it with ME to be with Cricket…so you two better be the real deal!  Paul’s like, omg, weirdo!

 

Lauren’s so happy after dancing with Michael.  He’s like, yeah, it was nice.  NICE?  That doesn’t cut it with Lauren.  Kevin asks if they think Mrs. C got their messages, since she’s God and all.  Lauren isn’t so sure, since Michael just thinks dancing with her is “nice.”  Michael thinks Mrs. C would tell Kevin to stay in Genoa City.  Kevin thinks she regretted waiting til the END of her life to fulfill her bucket list.  He thinks Mrs. C would tell him to fulfill his destiny and steamroll anyone he had to to get there.  This is actually exactly how people talk about God.

 

Cane calls out Colin for lying to him about that sketchy guy last night.  Colin says he has it all under control.  Jill hopes Cane is congratulating him on going into the boutique business.  He hopes Colin’s honest with Jill.  She walks off with Colin and tells him how ridiculous this letter burning thing is.  Can’t they just put flowers on her grave instead of jumping through hoops like this?  Colin thinks the journey is the point, because she ended up with him.  Jill is stunned.  She looks at the music box and says, Omg, she’s finally figured out what this means!

 

Devon and Hilary are dancing in a less than discreet manner.  Jack asks Neil if he needs anything.  “Just a description of my wife!”  Jack smiles and then looks over at Hilary and Devon totally into each other.  His face falls.  Neil asks if his wife’s beauty has him tongue tied.  YEP!  That’s it.  “She’s a knockout, Neil. She’s absolutely radiant out there.”  With Devon.

 

Vicky tells Billy it was a good day.  He says every day can be like that, you know.  She smiles, but says he needs to go.  Okay, but he’ll be back.  Like a virus.  He’s going to be there for all of Johnny’s important stuff, she can count on it.  She can count on HIM.  He’ll prove it to her, when he’s not having sex with Chelsea.

 

Victor brings Nikki home.  Blah blah.  He doesn’t suspect.  She wipes her lip marks off the glass she used earlier and puts the cap back on the bottle.

 

Dr. Cutler puts the magic medicine in Phyllis’ IV and says a lot of people are waiting for her to wake up…and see what she has to say for herself.  Really, that’s what they’re waiting for?

 

Jill invites everyone back to the house and sends Colin to greet them.  Once alone, she tells Katherine that she gets it now, that the music box treasure was the, HUNT.  It’s the journey not the destination, and she’s never been happier. She hopes Kay’s having a great journey now.  She leaves the music box playing in the park and strolls off.  Someone else swoops by and takes it!

 

Also, Shemar Moore gets an entire commercial for a two day appearance.

[miamama]

Omg, they’re going to give her a match?  I’m surprised Neil isn’t demanding that HE CAN DO IT.

 

lol.

 

I cannot believe how asinine this episode sounds. My god, writing notes about "truths" and burning them? And they all do it? If people had rolled their eyes and said this was STUPID or written some meaningless crap, I'd find it somewhat amusing but geez. Have these writers met Katherine? Ever? What absolute bullshit. This might be a new low. I find myself saying this weekly.

 

Also, Shemar Moore gets an entire commercial for a two day appearance.

 

This is truly pathetic. 

[Joimiaroxeu]

Cane gossips about how Hilary plays the dutiful wife, and Devon the dutiful son, but how long can it last?

Cane basically blew off Kay's instructions since he didn't write anything about himself. He could have at least wondered whether he should say anything about Hilary and Devon to his wife or FIL. And we didn't hear Lily's letter either but I bet it was something about whether up in heaven Kay can see the blouse she's wearing as a dress.

 

Omg, she’s finally figured out what this means!

OMG, the MWTs finally figured out how to get rid of this stoopid dangling plot point!

[peach]

I cannot believe how asinine this episode sounds. My god, writing notes about "truths" and burning them? And they all do it?

 

My thoughts exactly.  At least, to her everlasting credit, Jill refused.

[Runningwild]

At first I thought it would be hilarious if Murphy and Neil re-enacted the "cigars!" scene from Young Frankenstein. Then when they gave Nikki the job, I was afraid she was going to light herself on fire like that guy Laura Ingalls Wilder reportedly saw in Burr Oak, IA.

Edited August 28, 2014 by Runningwild

[jodo]

 

Wait.  They’re supposed to do this stupid exercise EVERY YEAR?  This is worse than the fashion show!!!

 Or Cassie's memorial!!!

[peach]

Thur, Aug 28, 2014

 

Avery meets Dylan at Crimson Lights and admits she wants to ask him 20 times a day if he’s okay, which sounds super healthy.  But enough of that, she’s all happy and wants to take him out to breakfast because she has something big to tell him.  Her hair is smoothed way down and it really looks good this time.

 

Sharon and Nick are fretting over Mariah.  You know I love you, Sharon, but your bright floral jeans and aqua blouse ensemble looks like you’re going to a party, not waiting for a kidnapper to call.   Nick says Ian will call, and when he does, we’re gonna get him.  Right, Harding?  Somber in the corner is Det. Harding and a computer expert that is an Asian chick instead of Kevin.  “We’ll get him,” he nods.  He seems depressed.

 

Sharon can’t believe everything that’s happened in the past 24 hours!  They talk about how familiar it felt to spend time with Mariah.  Nick gets it, because it felt like that when they high-fived..that’s what got him thinking, and we all know what a special occasion that is.  She is so glad he followed his instinct.  She has so much to tell her and what if she never gets the chance!

 

She shouts at the phone to RING, DAMMIT! but Harding tells her she needs to calm down.  “Let’s not start yelling at phones.”  Decaf must be the new trend in GC.  When Ian calls, she needs to keep him talking.

 

Kevin’s at the station yelling at his computer.  Gloria interrupts.  She asks what his black helmet with the skulls on it is for, and he replies that it’s part of his space suit for NASA.  He’s moonlighting.  She thinks he’s upset about Chloe dumping him, but her Momdar is way off.  He’s upset because his friend Mariah’s been kidnapped!  Gloria lights up! She thought he was going to leave town, but obviously he’s moved on!  Wiiith a kidnap victim, talk about being attracted to unavailable women.

 

Jill’s very upset because she’s gone back to the park and her music box is GONE.  What is the world coming to when you can’t leave music boxes in parks overnight?  Colin’s like, what were you thinking?  She was just caught up in emotion and thought she was done with it, but this morning she realized her mistake.  Colin thinks it served its purpose because it brought them together.  They laugh because Kay DESPISED Colin.  Blah blah, kiss.

 

Michael comes rushing by, talking on his cell phone, and doesn’t notice them.  He happily tells someone that they are going to be together for a long time.  And no, Lauren doesn’t suspect a thing, he chuckles.  Jill is like, OH EM GEE!  That two-timing bastard! 

 

Sharon is worried Ian changed his mind and took Mariah hundreds of miles away.  THE PHONE RINGS!  Hey, it’s Ian!  He would love to set up a reunion with Cassie’s twin sister, for the price of one million dollars…for every year of her life.  Sharon doesn’t have that kind of money!!  She’s a single mom scraping by on three divorce settlements, for crying out loud.  Yeah, but she knows someone who does, he bets Nick is standing right next to her.  “Hi, Nick!” 

 

Sharon says she needs time.  Ian will make it easy for her, he only needs 5 million up front (I guess he’s still steaming about not getting Nikki’s 5 mil), and she can wire the rest to an offshore account. 

 

Sharon hears moaning in the background.  “Is that Mariah?!  Let me talk to her!!”  That’s impossible, because Mariah’s…indisposed.  She’s still knocked out in the wedding dress.

 

Gloria was so worried that Kevin would keep pining for Chloe forever.  He wants her to stop talking.  She grills him about why he would leave town.  He says maybe because it’s filled with painful memories and annoying people who think he should move past them.  She nags him for a bit and accidentally brings up his screen with the Goth story about Harding.  “Good God, Kevin, what are you up to?”

 

Jill bursts into the club wanting to know WHO is she, where is the hussy trying to break up her sister’s marriage?  Colin tries to calm her down since she could be jumping to conclusions.   But Jill thinks Michael having an affair would fit the puzzle of their “problems.”  She sees Lauren across the room and rushes over to warn her. 

 

“Oh, Lauren, you were right to be worried about your marriage!”  Lauren’s like, what??  Jill asks Colin how to explain it to her. “Uh, don’t.”  Lauren, she stage whispers, Michael is having an affair!

 

Kevin tells Gloria his bad fiction is part of confidential police work, and he doesn’t want to talk about it, or Chloe.  Gloria wants him to know that she was there for his brother when Lauren cheated on him “with that, yes, gorgeous, Italian psycho, and I’m going to be there for you now that your crazy wife has dumped you.”  Kevin smirks and says, you are my rock.

 

Lauren informs Jill that Michael is NOT having an affair.  Jill tells her about his phone call in the park.  Then it was a misunderstanding.  Oh, how could she MISUNDERSTAND him saying they would be together forever, and Lauren doesn’t know a thing??  Colin wants to be left out of this.  Lauren insists that Michael is too TIRED and busy to have an affair!  Jill reminds her that she managed to fit one into HER busy schedule last year.  Is this Lauren Had An Affair Remembrance Day?  Jill thinks it’s tit for tat because she bruised Michael’s ego.

 

Avery and Dylan walk up.  Avery asks where Michael is.  Oh, really?  Dylan thinks Avery is acting weird, and Jill assumes maybe she’s hiding something!  Avery’s laughing and saying, what?  No!  “Ohhhh my God,” says Jill, “YOU’RE the one Michael’s having an affair with.”  Seriously?  Everyone’s like…wtf??  Michael walks up just then and everyone stares at him.  Now he’s like, wtf?

 

Ian is giving Sharon the bank account number.  She demands to speak to Mariah.  He’s not finished with his instructions.  She has to drop the money in unmarked bills at the trash can in the park.  Sharon keeps insisting she needs to know Mariah is okay, but Ian refuses.  Harding is motioning that she needs to keep him on the line.  She gets Ian talking about Mariah’s history.  She asks if he’s told her that she’s her mother.  He hangs up.  Damn, he wasn’t on long enough to pinpoint him inside a 20 mile radius.  Sharon blows up!  Mariah’s out there with this maniac and they have no idea where she is!

 

Jill tells Michael not to bother denying his affair.  Lauren explains that Jill overheard his phone call in the park.  Jill says, “It’s very obvious that you’ve been cheating on your wife with this bleached blonde succubus.”  Avery is shocked but almost laughing. 

 

“Michael!  I think we should come clean.”  Michael didn’t want to do it this way, but Avery says they know they’re hiding something and there’s no point in denying it.  Dylan’s super confused.  Wouldn’t this be a cool story if they actually made the audience wonder about this instead making it into sitcom fare? 

 

Avery says she promised not to tell Dylan until Michael broke the news to Lauren.  Jill's like, SEE!!!  Yes, Michael says, they are partners.  LAW PARTNERS.  He shows them their new website.  Jill feels really stupid now.

 

Sharon is frantically telling Nick she can empty her accounts but it still won’t be enough.  How much can he get??  Harding tells her to slow down.  SLOW DOWN???  Did he not hear Mariah moaning in pain?  She could be hurt!  Harding says she could also be in on the whole thing.  Whaaaat?  He reminds Sharon that Mariah has a rap sheet as long as his arm.  But Sharon KNOWS Mariah is in trouble, she can FEEL IT in her heart.  Nick has feelz too!  IAN is the lowlife here.

 

Okaaaay, Harding will run this as a straight kidnapping…for now.  Sharon takes charge saying she and Nick will get the money!  No,no,no.  They need to do a decoy drop.  Sharon thinks it’s WAY too risky!  They argue.  Harding says the people who don’t work with them always regret it.  Nick tells her to trust the police.  Harding leaves, and Sharon says she can’t sit back and do nothing.  “I wasn’t planning to.”

 

The waiter brings mimosas to celebrate Michael and Avery’s announcement, which Jill has effectively ruined. Man, they love some mimosas on this show.  Jill apologizes for calling Avery a succubus.  Avery is cool about it, and Jill slinks off.  Avery and Michael discuss the partnership, and Dylan gets a call from Nick.  He’s got a problem…and he needs Dylan’s help.  Dylan?  That's his plan?

 

Mariah is slowly starting to come to.  Ian’s on the phone saying everything is in motion, and trust him, it will all be worth it in the end.  He tells the mystery person to get there as soon as they can.  Mariah is groggy, her head hurts, what happened?  Ian says she had too much to drink, but she’ll be fine.  She doesn’t feel fine…she looks down and says this isn’t what she was wearing.  “No.  It isn’t,” says Ian.  She’s confused.  Where did she get this dress?  He stares down at her like a major creeper.

 

Mariah keeps asking about her clothes, and how she got into this dress.  Ian says it will all make sense to her very soon.  She says, what do you mean?  “Just relax,” says Ian, which is one of the most dangerous phrases in the English language.  She looks at the veil and is like, wait…this is a wedding gown.

 

Avery and Dylan get to the cottage.  Nick wants to know what information they might have from tracking down Ian the first time.  They did meet a guy named Clarence at The Path office.  Darn, Victor had all The Path offices shut down (unexplained).  Dylan happens to have Clarence’s number on his phone!  What luck!

 

Avery is upset and tells Dylan this makes her wonder how much a relationship can survive.  But she’s not talking about Nick and Sharon.  She knows her relationship with Dylan started when she cheated on Joe…but he knows she wouldn’t do that to HIM, right?  Yeah, he knows she would NEVER do that.  They hug.

 

Jill beats herself up for attacking Michael.  How did she get so suspicious and paranoid about men??  She knows it’s not COLIN anymore because he’s been so open and honest with her lately.  He’s like, yeaaaaah.

 

Lauren tells Michael how much more this makes her hate Colin.  Now Jill is projecting her own fears about that gigolo onto them.  Michael is so insecure, he pouts because Lauren thinks it’s CRAZY that Michael would have an affair.  Trust equals unmanliness now.  But she still trusts him.  They make a date for later.

 

Lauren marches over to Jill and says she could strangle her!  Jill says she deserves it, but by the end, they were all laughing!  It was fine!  Lauren’s like, really?  Were we really ALL laughing?  Jill thinks based on her own sexcapades with Colin, Lauren has a really serious problem if they aren’t doing it ALL the time.  Because 65 is the new 20 on this show.

 

Gloria invites Kevin to go on a singles cruise with Jeffery and herself.  They just pretend they’re single.  Kevin’s disgusted, but she says if he’d spiced up his own love life, Chloe might have picked him instead of a straitjacket.  He’s understandably horrified.  Michael interrupts.  Kevin congratulates him on the partnership with Avery.  Gloria is like, mmm hmmm.  She obviously thinks there is more to THAT.  She leaves.

 

Michael grouches about managing sex lives.  Harding interrupts with a lead on the Mariah case, and he needs Kevin to stop crying on his brother’s shoulder and get on it.  Sharon explains that Harding is following up on “Clarence” and they decide to check out The Path website for more information.  Crack investigating there.

 

Sharon talks to Dylan about how he handled finding out about his real parents.  It was a lot to take in, but he’s grateful.  Avery talks to Nick about the shock of all this.   She’ll help with legal stuff or however she can.  Nick tells Dylan he’s so sick of Ian Ward hurting his family and getting away with it.  Dylan promises he’s going to pay this time.

 

Jill and Colin blah blah.  Jill’s still mad at herself, especially after everything Kay tried to teach her with the music box.  SHE LEFT YOU A MEANINGLESS OBJECT, but Jill says she’s learned:  Trust, believe in love, and she’s gonna do it.  She hopes whoever took her music box is doing the same thing.  Music Box plays on an executive desk somewhere, without even a disembodied hand for company.

 

Kevin knows something’s off with Michael and Lauren.  Maybe he’ll stick around for them.  Plus he’s “got some other stuff going on.”  Yawn.

 

Gloria’s joined Lauren and says she’s heard about Michael’s partnership with Avery.  She hears that’s how these things get started.  “Et tu, Gloria?”  She’s just saying that Michael is a MAN.  Well, Lauren isn’t worried, not one little bit.

 

Dylan closes down his coffee shop so can celebrate with Avery.   He’s taking off her top, but she gets a call on her new business line.  Her face falls…it’s..her ex-husband.  She looks like she saw a ghost.

 

Nick tells Sharon that Kevin found Clarence’s address, and he just cleared out a couple of days ago.  Oh noes!  That’s when Ian disappeared with Mariah!  Didn’t she just say it was 24 hours?  Sharon says this keeps getting worse!  Nick tries to console her, but she is freaking OUT and yelling about never seeing Mariah again.  “What are they doing to my daughter?!”

 

Clarence arrives at the storage unit.  Mariah remembers him.  She looks pretty concerned.  Ian says he’s there to perform the wedding.  Mariah is quietly terrified.  “You think I’m..marrying someone?”  Ian doesn’t expect her to take sacred vows with a man she didn’t have deep feelings for, that would be cruel.  Mariah’s eyes are tearing up with fear.  Ian says she’s going to marry a man she loves and cherishes.  “Who?” asks Mariah, looking like she might throw up.  Ian smiles.  “Me!”  It's creepy Leland Palmer all over again.  Mariah crumbles!

[AxellaJ]

Oh, that dastardly Ian! So, let's count the people who have a motive to murder him...

Why does this show act like a marriage performed under duress is in any way legit?

[ByTor]

Wed, Aug 27, 2014  Kay Chancellor Is God Now

 

Neil lost his sense of humor with his sense of sight.  “Why don’t you stop insulting me and my wife, Jill,” he solemnly grouches.  “Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.  Does it make you feel good?”  (It’s my wife and I, Neil) 

Not to be nit-picky, but it's "Why don't you stop insulting my wife and me."  If you take out "my wife" it would read "why don't you stop insulting me" as opposed to "why don't you stop insulting I".

[Joimiaroxeu]

 

Okaaaay, Harding will run this as a straight kidnapping…for now.

Once Ian asked for 20+ million dollars in ransom to be wired to an offshore account shouldn't this now become an FBI case? No shade on Harding but this is officially above his pay grade I think.

 

Clarence arrives at the storage unit.

I wonder if he's wearing socks. I remember the first time he appeared he was doing the suit and loafers sans socks thing. A très chic look for the basic GQ man except it was in the middle of a WI winter. Not bloody likely...

[peach]

Not to be nit-picky, but it's "Why don't you stop insulting my wife and me."  If you take out "my wife" it would read "why don't you stop insulting me" as opposed to "why don't you stop insulting I".

You're correct.  Thanks!

[movinon]

The show was riveting, as usual - my finger is becoming numb from fast forwarding.  Your re-caps are the only thing that make it bearable. Thank you

[peach]

Fri, Aug 29, 2014  World Class Stalkers

 

Jack is helping Kelly move into the Abbott manse.  Summer calls from the Barbie Townhouse and invites them over for lunch, because her life is just a darn miracle now!  I think her hair is darker blonde now, too.  Jack’s happy she included Kelly, and they agree it’s time to tell Summer they’re shacking up.   Kelly worries about it making Summer angry, and Jack says she does have fire in her, like her mother.  I guess if by “fire” he means big, fat, spoiled, frowning tears of whiny manipulation, then sure.  He says once the [whining] fire dies down she’ll accept it.  NOTHING  is going to stand in their way now.

 

NOTHING is still asleep in her hospital bed.  Dr. Cutler kind of creepily leans into Phyllis’ face and says her family wants her back.  So let’s find out if she’s on her way.

 

Sharon is desperately emoting about how God only knows what that sick Ian Ward is doing to her daughter right now!  Oh, she’s on speaker phone.  Nick says Clarence is the key to finding them.  They’re talking to Paul who says he’s pushing for a warrant to search the guy’s records.  Funny, it usually only takes Paul 15 seconds to get a warrant.  Nick fumes.  Paul implies that maybe they’re gonna cheat a little on the warrant thing.

 

Sharon is panicking over the ransom situation.  Paul assures her about the fake money drop.  She doesn’t want it to get that far.  Her fear is what will happen to Mariah when she realizes that the only person she thought she could trust, Ian, is a dangerous freak.  She’s going to be angry, wounded, and terrified!  Paul’s a cop, not a therapist, okay?

 

Mariah’s still trying to comprehend that Ian said she’s going to marry him.  Ian says The Path has just presented itself, and they need to follow it.  Ohhh, so it was The Path that roofied her and popped her into a wedding dress. Okay.  Ian says they’re family.  They shared a past, now they share a future.  “Our literal and figurative fortunes are intertwined.”   She is like, I don’t understand.  Oh, Mariah, you don’t NEED to understand, just trust him.  She wants to get out of there, but Ian grabs her.  “No.  I’M your Path.  You don’t want to upset me,” he says menacingly.

 

Nikki’s changed her clothes but she’s back to fondling liquor bottles again.  Victor comes in and says, “What are you doing, baby?”  Umm, not drinking vodka?

 

Jack and Kelly arrive at Summer’s with a big bouquet of flowers.  Bygones are bygones and let’s all just forget about cop shooting and such.  Malibu Austin admits Summer [bought] picked out his clothes, but he put them on himself like a big boy.  He actually said that.    It’s just a big Malibu Mutual Appreciation Society Lunch day!  Jack says the four of them have lots to talk about!

 

THE Abby Newman comes sweeping in the club, wearing a jade dress and cardigan.  Her hair’s wavy today.  Stitch asks her to hold up.  He wants to know how Vicky and the baby are doing.  “Why don’t you go to the hospital yourself and find out? Ohhh, that’s right, you’ve been banned!  Too bad!”  He says thanks for nothing, but Abby has just noticed TYLER sitting at the bar, so she suddenly asks Stitch to wait.  She snarks at him a little more, and he says he should have just let her keep walking…when suddenly she grabs him and starts kissing him because this is high school now.

 

Nikki plays off her liquor anxieties as being her worry over Sharon and Mariah.   Nick and Sharon stop by.  Victor asks if they have any news about “the girl.”  Does he just not remember characters’ names?  They say the police are doing everything they can, but they need to do more.  He’s there to ask for YOUR help, Dad.  Victor knew this day would come, but ugh, does he have to help Sharon, too?

 

Mariah realizes Ian drugged her.  He gives her some water.  He says the wedding is a surprise, like so much of life.  I guess like how cancer is a surprise.  She says he’s like her FATHER.  Yeah, but he’s NOT her father, so it’s all good.  Mariah’s losing it.  She says “I loved you, Ian!”  He says this is just an extension of that!  She’s crying and tells him to stop it, he’s acting like a lunatic.  No, no, he says calmly.  She says everyone was right about him, he lied about everything! 

 

Ian tells her she can’t see The Path all at one time, it’s too overwhelming.  She’s just at a new level of enlightenment.  Mariah’s freaking out.  What else have you done, she asks, and who did you do it to?  Nikki Newman?  “She’s not as strong as you are,” says Ian.  AAAHHHH.  This is so gross!  “Mariah this is where we are right now,” he says, putting out his hand.  “Come. Take the next step with me.”  Clarence says it’s time to begin.  I know this would never be considered legal, but it’s still Elizabeth Smart level awful.

 

Austin is chit-chatting with Jack about meeting Phyllis.  Yeah, at first it was weird, but then it turned out to be easy to talk to her.  That Phyllis is such a good listener.  He told her he loved Summer and would be there for her for their rest of their lives.  Beats paying rent.  Jack sure wishes he could have met the Phyllis That Used To Be.  But he and Summer believe she can come back.

 

Jack admits he was pretty rough on Austin, darn it, when after all he was just a fugitive on the run after committing multiple felonies.  Austin says he can’t undo the damage, but he can sure work like hell to repair it.   Jack super respects Austin.  He’s loyal to Summer and she really needs it, especially when she has the hissy fit that we’re counting down to.

 

Summer and Kelly are arranging flowers, and Summer talks about how many vases she has because she went a little crazy at the store with her trust fund.  Kelly talks about how awesome moving in together is when you know it’s right for both people.  Summer agrees as long as we are still talking about her.  Kelly thanks Summer for inviting her.  Summer says Kelly fought for her and Austin, and Jack would not have been at the wedding if it wasn’t for her.  She will never forget that.  And she knows she can act like a spoiled brat.  “What?  Nooo,” says Kelly.

 

Summer realizes it must be hard dating a guy who’s engaged to someone else, but hey, they’re both adults.  And when things get better, you know, when Mom…well, if they can lean on each other for right now, why not enjoy it while it lasts.  Kelly’s eyes say, ohhh shit.

 

Stitch pushes Abby off of him.  “What the hell was that?!”  She says it’s called a kiss.  Duh.  He obviously thinks she’s crazy, and says why me?  Well, she just wanted to see what her sister sees in him.  He sees Tyler, who has noticed them, and says, huh, maybe it was to get back at your ex-fiance.  She’s like, oh, come on, it’s not like you suffered.  “At kissing, I’m like world class.”  He tells her not to ever pull something like that on him again, weirdo.  He stomps out.

 

Now Mariah realizes the WATER was drugged, too.  Ian says it’s just something to help her relax.   Embrace the moment.  She’s like WHAT MOMENT?  None of this is real!  Oh, he says it’s real alright.  Clarence here is vested by the state of Wisconsin to perform legal and binding wedding ceremonies for drugged kidnap victims.  Clarence asks, do you take this man…and she says, SHUT UP! 

 

Ian grabs her harshly and growls in her ear, “What have I taught you, Mariah?  You do NOT DIVERGE from The Path.  It leads to pain and suffering.  So don’t diverge!!  Do NOT tempt fate.”  She weakly says, “I do.”  Clarence pronounces them man and wife, and Ian kisses her cheek while she tries not to throw up on her shoes.  He says she’s made him the happiest of men.

 

Victor’s minions are adding manpower on the search for Clarence.  Sharon thanks him.  When MY SON needs help, he has it.  Sharon rolls her eyes.  Nikki says she always knew Ian was sick and twisted, but that he would take her child, Cassie’s sister…she is SO SORRY, Sharon!  They hug and cry.  Nick and Sharon have to get back to the cottage. 

 

Victor tells Nikki it was strange to see her HUG Sharon.  Nikki’s like, why??  Because there’s still a lot of damage she can do to our son!  Nikki says thatwoman had her child stolen from her!  Victor smirks.  She says Ian Ward is a plague on this family, and now his disease is a part of them that will never go away.  How much can a woman take without breaking into a million pieces and never being whole again?!   Victor’s like, umm, are you talking about yourself?

 

Sharon’s staring at a family photo saying there should have been two of them in that photo.   She’s starting to fall apart thinking about the missing twin, and that maybe both girls ached for each other and never knew why, and maybe Cassie would never have gone to that party that night… Nick tells her to stop.  Nothing can change what happened back then, but today, they will get her daughter back.  Sharon says Ian Ward is a leech who stole years of their lives.  Her eyes are blazing.  She wants to get her daughter back safe… and THEN she wants that SONOFABITCH to SUFFER!!!

 

Nikki says she knows Victor is concerned about her…”And to hell with Sharon, right?   I mean, you taunted her, with her own child’s lookalike, and then you went to see her psychiatrist??”  Victor says so what if he talked to her doctor in passing (at an appointment he made).  She says he doesn’t even CARE about the effect it would have on Nicholas! 

 

Sweetheart, Nick asked him for help.  “Once he asks for help, everything is forgotten!” Haha, Victor Logic 101.  She’s like, bitch please, he didn’t ask you because you’re his father, it’s because you’re Victor Newman who has minions.  Victor is like, since WHEN do you give a damn about how Sharon feels?  Well, she DOES now.  They argue about Sharon seeking professional help, and the “damn secret” that could hurt their boy.  Nikki says, “WHO CARES?”  Amen.  She says how do they know that Sharon even knew what she was talking about?  SHE WAS CRAZY!  Victor’s the one who pushed her over the edge!

 

Victor’s like, WHATISTHEMATTERWITHYOU?!  She suddenly wants to see Sharon with Nick?  Has she forgotten that she burned down the damn ranch?!  Nikki pleads that she doesn’t want to fight, she is in favor of bringing their family together for once.  They need to help each other.  Victor relents and hugs her.  Her manicure looks good. 

 

Poor Victor desperately says he is just tired of always being the bad guy in this family, okay?  He’s tried to help EVERYONE, his children, his grandchildren.  He’s friggin Mother Theresa over here with all this helping!  The arresting, the forgeries, the evil doppelgangers, the secret medical treatments, when is it enough for these people!   He insists they’ll get through this.

 

She has to leave for an appointment, and to let her know if he gets any news.  Dr. Cutler calls Helpful Victor, and says Phyllis is showing remarkable brain activity.  Funny how he doesn’t call any of her family members.  So when is she going to wake up?

 

Summer’s really proud of Malibu Lunch.  They’ve had a tough year, but it was great too.  Everyone got something new, like a husband, a dad, a daughter, a Kelly.  Jack drops the bomb that he asked Kelly to move in with him.  Married Adult Lunch Serving Summer’s face falls..like, more.

 

Jack says he thought she should be the first to know.  Her eyes are tearing up.  Jack thinks they could all work through this together.  Austin’s like, oooomg, this is going to suck.   They discuss him telling Phyllis on his last visit.  He hopes she can accept it.  Summer says, well, he accepted her criminal husband and gave them an apartment, so, she’ll have to…have to… she gets up and runs away.  Austin follows her.  Jack grimaces.

 

Abby approaches Tyler who’s mid-day drinking instead of working.  He guesses congratulations are in order.  “Good luck with your boyfriend, the murderer.”  Abby’s momentarily speechless, and kicking herself for not thinking this one through.  Tyler apologizes.  They agree that their lives are none of each other’s business. 

 

Abby still has to ask if he knows Mariah is missing.  He does because Chief Williams asked him for info to help track down that scum, Ward.  She pounces on that and says he must really be worried about her.  He says that doesn’t mean he’s in love with her.  She finally believes that, but it doesn’t matter since they weren’t meant for each other.   She admits she and Stitch can’t stand each other, she just kissed him to get a rise out of Tyler.  He’s like, that’s right, I remember that you’re crazy.  But he hopes she’s happy.

 

Nikki’s at an AA meeting again.  Nothing to mock here.

 

Ian makes Mariah sign a marriage license.  She’s close to passing out.  He tells Clarence to look after her.  He has somewhere he needs to be.  Sharon is ranting at the cottage that they haven’t heard from Paul or Harding about the money drop.  She doesn’t like feeling like she doesn’t have control over anything.  Victor’s henchman calls!

 

Stitch shows up at Crimson Lights.  “Took you long enough to get here.”  It’s ABBY.  She says he does the same thing every day:  gym, run, caffeine.  She learned his routine when she was trying to set him up with her mom.  That’s not…disturbing.  Stitch says he has a stalker, wait, a world class stalker.  He acts annoyed but I think he’s kind of flattered. 

 

She says he can relax, she has a message that Victoria and baby are home from the hospital and fine. That is so great!  Thanks for giving him Vicky’s message!  Oh, it’s not from her, it’s a message from BILLY.  He’s returning the favor of Stitch telling him Vicky was IN the hospital…so now they’re even.  Bye.  Usually Billy makes it even with a gun in a ditch, so Stitch is pretty lucky.

 

Jack and Kelly are waiting on the couch while Summer and Austin return.  She apologizes for being impolite and immature, while looking at the floor.  She has strawberries for dessert, she says in a little girl voice.  Aww, maybe next time.  Kelly tells her her home that Jack had professionally decorated is SO beautiful.  She can see their love.  Jack says he’ll call soon while fiery Summer pouts and stares at the floor.  They leave, and then Summer falls in Austin’s arms and cries.

 

Someone asks Nikki at the meeting if she has a sponsor kit, and she says she used to have a sponsor who died, but this was just a one time thing, and she has a handle on it now.  Right.

 

The decoy for Sharon is COURTNEY.  Paul wants her to act like a nervous mom who would do anything for her kid, not a cop eager to make a bust.  Right, because Courtney seems SO MUCH like a cop.  Nick calls with info that Clarence has a storage unit!  Harding is on it! 

 

Nick really is Dylan’s brother, because he decides he should go to the storage unit, too. Omg, then he HAS to take SHARON!  He’s like, you can’t be seen running around town when you’re supposed to be making the money drop!  But Ian will be at the park, what could go wrong, besides everything.  How many days has it been since Dylan interrupted a hostage situation and almost got everyone killed?  Well, it doesn’t matter if we don’t like it, Sharon is going with Nick! 

 

Harding must be a really slow driver, because Nick and Sharon beat him to the hostage hideout AGAIN.  Nick brought a crow bar.  Am I supposed to believe none of these people own a gun?  They throw open the storage unit door!  Sharon rushes to unconscious Mariah.  “My baby!”  Clarence says, hey, hey, hey, this is private property, you’re trespassing!  Nick raises the crow bar and asks if he should add assault?!  I really wanted to see Sharon go batshit with the crowbar myself, but whatever.  She asks what’s wrong with Mariah, and Clarence says she’s…tired?

 

Harding finally comes running in. Whoa, whoa, Newman!  Put down the crow bar.  They got this!  Harding really doesn’t get paid enough to deal with these amateurs.  Clarence whines that Nick is going to hurt him but soon sees that the cops don’t care that much. 

 

Nikki’s at home looking at an AA pamphlet, but also looking at her vodka.  Someone knocks on the door.  IT’S IAN WARD!  “Hello, Nicole.”  I guess the henchmen were busy again.

 

Summer’s flame is just so bright while she moans and whimpers on Austin’s shoulder.  He says people fall in love, they don’t plan it.  But he never saaaaw Jack and Phyllis together, whatever he feels for Kelly is NOT what he feels for her mom.  Jack would not BE with Kelly if he thought her mom could get better.  Well, she is not giving up hope.  Her mom is going to wake up and she’s going to be waiting for her.

 

Jack feels guilty.  Kelly has to explain to him again how girls work. 

 

Victor took the express flight to the coma clinic, I guess.  He’s sitting with her, explaining how Dr. Cutler is experimenting on her.  He admits he’s probably not the first person she would like to see, but hey, she knows about a secret.   And he would like her to talk to him about it.  It would help a lot of people.  So maybe she’ll wake up now.  Ohhh, well if Victor wants to know a secret, why didn’t he just say so before?  My kid walked by and said, so she’s going to wake up because Victor Newman told her to?  YES! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS.  Phyllis. Wakes. Up.

[jodo]

Perfect Peaches!!!  Thx!!

[peacheslatour]

 

It’s ABBY.  She says he does the same thing every day:  gym, run, caffeine. 

Don't forget going on Hautelook!

[movinon]

Poor Victor desperately says he is just tired of always being the bad guy in this family, okay?  He’s tried to help EVERYONE, his children, his grandchildren.  He’s friggin Mother Theresa over here with all this helping!  The arresting, the forgeries, the evil doppelgangers, the secret medical treatments, when is it enough for these people!  

 

You have written the perfect description of good old Victor.  I fear if he becomes any more helpful, everyone around him could wind up as crazy as poor Sharon.

 

[peach]

Mon, Sep 1, 2014

 

Preempted for the U.S. Open.  Not that anyone minded.

[Petunia13]

So where's the tennis recap?

[peach]

So where's the tennis recap?

 

Ummm... a ball bounced back and forth...and a very fit person won.

[peach]

Tue, Sep 2, 2014
Meanwhile, back at the storage unit…Nick snarls at Clarence in true caveman fashion.  Clarence won’t reveal the whereabouts of Ian Ward because “a true believer stays on The Path.”   Sharon calls out to Nick that Mariah is “out again.”  Harding calls for an ambulance.  Sharon demands to know what Clarence has done to her…”What have you done to my daughter?!”  Daughter, mumbles Mariah.  Sharon rushes back to her side.  Everything’s going to be okay!

 

The cops hustle Clarence out, and Harding asks what Nick and Sharon are doing there anyway?  This is a police investigation!  Mariah groggily looks up at Nick and says, “You came for me.”   Harding tells them to get out of there, because he’s got this.  Ha!  Fat chance.  Sharon says she is NOT leaving her daughter!   Nick asks Mariah how she got there, was it Ian?  “I..I couldn’t stop him,” says Mariah.

 

Ian’s on Nikki’s  doorstep.  “What are you doing here?” gasps Nikki, WHILE LETTING HIM IN.  It’s very simple really.  When Nikki found her true path, the universe moved to remove all the obstacles between her and her true heart’s desire.  Nikki says she’s calling the guard!  Who must be taking a nap!  She rushes to her CELL PHONE instead of a panic button, and Ian evil chuckles and takes it from her.  “I think not, Nicole,” he grins, pulling out A HYPODERMIC NEEDLE.  She freaks.  C’mon, NIKKI!  You’re from the streets, take this creeper down!  Smash that vodka bottle on his skull.

 

Leland, I mean, Ian, laughs and says to calm herself.  He’s merely advising her the guard is “out” for the evening.  At least they gave him an excuse this time.  Nikki asks what he wants.  “You and I...we still have unfinished business.”

 

Dylan and Avery are at Crimson Lights.  She just got off the phone with Joe.  She doesn’t look too worried about it.  Turns out he saw the article about her partnership with Michael and called to congratulate her.  Dylan thinks that’s weird.  Avery thinks it’s thoughtful.  Dylan thinks it’s thoughtfully kind of weird.  They argue.  She says she was only on Joe’s mind because of what Dylan did. 

 

Kelly and Jack.  Jack and Kelly.  They’re bringing more of Kelly’s clothes into the mansion.  Kelly actually says that Summer sure put up a brave front at lunch.  Wow, alert Roget’s Thesaurus that new synonyms for “whiny petulant brat” are now “brave” and “fire.”  Jack says, “She’s a class act, that kid of mine.”  I have no idea if he’s being facetious or not.  Is Kelly’s top supposed to be that unzipped?  Jack wants her to know that he hasn’t changed his mind about her.  He needs her HERE with HIM.   Blah blah, Summer needs to move on to their new reality.  Phyllis is not coming back to either of them.

 

Victor is using his creepy bedside manner with Phyllis.  He came  ALL THE WAY from Genoa City to talk to her, because she knows something he would like to know.  Phyllis?? He asks.  He can’t seem to understand why the chance to chat about his problems hasn’t perked her right up.  But…after a moment, she opens her eyes!  Phyllis?  I asked my son to caption her expression:  “I am here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubble gum.” 

 

Dr. Cutler has rushed in.  “Phyllis?” asks Victor again.  She stares into space, thinking about kicking ass.  “You’ve been through quite an ordeal, and we’re all hoping desperately that you’re coming out of a coma [so I can defeat Sharon].”  VICTOR wants her to know that it’s safe.  Like Phyllis was cowering in a coma.

 

Paul tells someone on the phone he wants to know the SECOND anyone makes a move on that money drop.  Harding brings in the infamous Clarence Henderson.  He says of COURSE he read him his rights, but he might not have understood them because he’s kind of an idiot.  Harding shoves him in Paul’s office.  It’s time for Clarence to make a deal, time to think for himself. 

 

Blah blah, Paul doesn’t have Ian, but he sure has Clarence, who’s the guy going down for having a drugged girl in a wedding dress…and from what he understands, guys like Clarence get a lot of “special attention” behind bars.  Harding’s heard that, too.  Unless Clarence is smart. Is he going to tell them how Ian kidnapped the girl?  “A true believer stays on The Path,” says Clarence.  “See, the guy’s an idiot,” says Harding.  “Show him ‘the path’ to holding,” says Paul.

 

“Nick,” mumbles Mariah.  “I told him no..but I drank some water.. I didn’t know he drugged me again.”  Sharon says they need to get Mariah to a hospital, where is the ambulance? Nick says they haven’t found Ian or secured the area yet, so they can’t move Mariah.  That makes tons of sense.  “Am I married?” gasps Mariah…”Yes, yes..I’m married..to him.”  What? asks Sharon.   Mariah starts crying.  “I told him NO, I didn’t want to, but he wasn’t listening.”  She starts moaning, why, Ian, why, I trusted you… Sharon and Nick try to comfort her.  Nick says she’s safe, and she says she should have listened to him, he was right about Ian. 

 

They ask if Ian hurt her, touched her.  Mariah says she never would have let him no matter what anyone thinks of her.  They assure her they don’t think bad things about her, just Ian.   She says Clarence said it was real, but Sharon says it will be like it never happened, but they need to talk about other things, things she needs to know.

 

Ian tells Nicole that this is where their Genoa City reunion started, right in this room.  Nikki asks him what he wants…money?  Ian asks how she can reduce this to MONEY, she never would have done that when they were together, umm, when she didn’t HAVE any money.  Nikki’s trying to play the game, she says she couldn’t be what he wanted…maybe she’s corrupted him with her bourgeois life, etc…she tries to pick up a land line phone, but he wrests it from her hand.  “Always the fighter,” he grins, “that’s what I love about you.  You never just give in…roll over.”  She slaps him! Whoopteedoo.

 

Kelly was putting some stuff in random drawer in the living room…but she finds Phyllis’ stuff, like her work badge. Waah!   Blah blah blah.  Kelly has to go to a meeting.  Jack tries to assure her that this is her home, but she rushes out.  He super grimaces.

 

Avery says Joe got questioned by the cops when she was being stalked, which is all Dylan’s fault.  Dylan’s like DUH!  What, was Joe pissed about it or something?  Well, NO, but online stalking really isn’t Joe’s thing, okay?  And he’s worked too hard to have his name and reputation questioned like this.   Gosh, why would ANYONE look at someone’s EX when being stalked, how totally cray!  What kind of made up conflict IS THIS? 

 

Avery gets a text, and Dylan asks if that’s Joe again.  NO!  It’s Jack!  Does he want to check her PHONE NOW, TOO?   He’s like, ummm, no, and what is your damage?  She’s says it’s just [GUILT] her own stuff and [CHEATING] how her marriage ended, and she’s just embarrassed that she’s caused Joe any more pain.  Which wasn’t really a huge concern when she was getting threatening internet comments from someone she kept out of jail because waah.

 

Avery says Joe isn’t a bad guy, and that’s not why things ended.  They ended because she belonged with Super Dylan.  She’s over her fit and tells Dylan she loves him. She has to go see Jack now.

 

Mariah’s coming to, and she asks Sharon why she’s being nice to her…she kicked her out!  A cop says Ian never made the drop, so does Mariah know where he is?  Nick lectures the cop about Mariah’s traumatization and to PLEASE get her an ambulance right away!  Sharon pleads with Mariah that she said terrible things in anger and wants to take them back… “So why are you HERE?” asks Mariah, who never said any terrible things.  Because Sharon wants her to know she’s not alone.

 

“I’m alone all right,” says Mariah, “but I don’t need you.  I don’t need anybody.”  Oh, except Nick.  “Will you help me?” she asks Nick.  He helps her to the ambulance because paramedics can’t get inside storage units.  “Thank you,” she cries to Nick, “Thank you for everything.”  Sharon looks pained.

 

Ian rubs his cheek.  “That’s just one of your wonderful qualities, Nicole.  The fire, the recklessness!” He would have channeled it if she’d given him the chance.  “I never GAVE YOU anything.  Anything you got from me, you TOOK,” says Nikki.  Ohh, snarls Ian, she’s no one’s victim.  He wants her to stop the pretense, it’s just the two of them now.  He had chosen HER.  She was so full of possibilities, if only she had told him about the baby…they could have built a DYNASTY!  With Dylan, lol.

 

That baby wasn’t yours, she protests.  She whimpers.  Nikki’s cell phone rings.  I happen to see some crystal obelisks on the coffee table which would handily KILL HIM, but Nikki has her hand over her face.  Ian laughs..it’s perfect!  The call is from the young man who could have been their son.  “Let’s not make the hero suspicious,” he says, handing her the phone.  He demands she not tell him Ian is there…he’s LISTENING!  He pulls the cap off his hypodermic needle.  You’re wearing LAYERS, Nikki, fight back.  Jam that thing in his throat!

 

Nikki has a strained conversation with Super [Dumb] Dylan, trying to give him hints about having faith in his FATHER, and for him to take care of that COLD he has… Dylan squints in confusion.  Can you imagine leaving hints for DYLAN?  Ian takes the phone back and says that’s his good girl.   Dylan hangs up.  He doesn’t know WHAT is going on, but he’s going to go fight it.

 

Avery gets to Jack’s and notices the boxes.  He explains that Kelly’s moving in.  She says she did the same thing, as in taking Phyllis’ other husband, when she thought Dylan was never coming back to her, so she understands.   Jack says it’s not going so well, and he opens the drawer he just FORGOT about having all of Phyllis’ crap in, like some red leather gloves.  Avery gets all teary eyed like Phyllis was her bestest sister ever. 

 

Avery says Summer would want the rest of Phyllis’ random crap, but Jack says Summer’s already taking the Kelly news pretty rough, so it’s better if they don’t bring it up.  Avery says Jack is super considerate of everyone else, but is he sure he’s ready to do this? If the rest of you would STFU, then probably so.  

 

He wants Kelly to feel at home, but it’s not like he doesn’t LOVE PHYLLIS, but she’s GONE.  Blah cry blah.  Avery martyrs herself about how everyone expects HER to complete the difficult tasks, so she’ll just have to do this glove taking thing because that’s what she does.  But this would be easier if they did it together.  Hey, why not call NICK and ask him to join in?!

 

Phyllis is still staring into the void, plotting destruction.  Dr. Cutler tells Victor not to get too excited about it, it’s not like she’s ready to start pillaging cities yet.  But Victor says she’s AWAKE, that’s a hell of a beginning.  The doctor says it’s not that simple, but Victor says not to give him that shit because it’s of vital importance that he speaks with her, which trumps all medical reality.   He didn’t come this far to fail, because flying in private jets to Georgia is super hard.

 

Paul tells Harding that Ian doesn’t know they have the girl, so everything is still in play.  Dylan walks in.  He wants details.  He’s also going to [rant] assume that by the end of the day, Paul will have this wrapped up and finally bring that scum to justice, AND..clearly he’s back on the caffeine.  Espresso maybe.  Paul asks why he thinks Ian did this.  Dylan thinks money, but Paul says money has never been the sole motive for Ian Ward.  He thinks it’s more important to Ian to act like he’s smarter than everyone, which is such a hard trick in this town.  Dylan has to think about this, like Winnie the Pooh…think, think. 

 

Dylan mentions how Nikki always worries about him…and today she told him she was worried about his cold.  “You have a cold?” asks Paul.  Dylan stares. Then he says he’s gotta go, and he’s gonna let Paul finish doing his job, while he goes and tries to break up another crime like the last one that relieved him of most of his liver.

 

Sharon and Nick fret outside Mariah’s hospital room. Nick says there’s no way this marriage to Ian would hold up in court.  Sharon says Ian would have to know that, so why DO it?  Nick says he can’t begin to understand what goes on in Ian’s twisted mind.  He assures Sharon that Mariah is safe and going to be okay.  She worries about the drug that Ian gave her, and how much they need to tell her, and the horrible things she said to her, which Mariah kind of deserved.

 

The nurse comes out and says Mariah is stable right now (physically), which she can tell NICK, to whom she agreed to release her medical info.  Sharon hesitantly asks if she was sexually assaulted, but the nurse says no.  They can go in.

 

Sharon goes to Mariah’s side, but Mariah won’t look at her.  “What’s left to say, Sharon?  You made your opinion of me very clear.”   Sharon can’t begin to say how sorry she is about that, because it was totally okay to stab her in the back to screw Nick.    Mariah says it doesn’t matter, but Sharon is super sorry for everything Mariah has lost, and the things she said to her, because no mother should say that to her daughter.

 

Mariah glares.  “Hey, lady?  I’m not your daughter.  I’m NOT Cassie, get it through your head!”  Sharon says this is not a slip. And there’s a reason Helen Copeland didn’t act or feel like a mother to her.  Mariah’s eyes widen.  “Wait.  Don’t.”  Sharon tells Mariah that she is HER mother.  “NO!”  That will totally ruin the Nick thing!

 

Avery and Jack go through Phyllis’ stuff, such as a lock of Summer’s hair…and a Christmas ornament that was an Abbott family heirloom that Phyllis never even wanted because Nick didn’t give it to her.  Then there’s a stupid bunny to save for Summer, even though a bunny is pretty much Summer’s speed right now.  Oh, and Phyllis was a gamer.  A video gamer. Right. They claim Phyllis made a business deal telling someone, “Give me your joystick, and let’s settle this.”  Ah hahaha..ha..ha…..ha.  :-/

 

Kelly walks in to this little retcon sentimental reunion.   Awk-ward

 

Mariah asks Sharon if this is some kind of pity thing.  SHE DOESN’T NEED SHARON TO MAKE UP FOR ALL OF THE NASTY THINGS SHE SAID TO HER!  Like calling her a tramp when she tried to seduce her sorta  husband.   Sharon’s still sorry.  What matters is that she’s really Mariah’s mother.  Mariah appeals to Nick, but he says it’s true.

 

Sharon explains how Nick super sleuthed the whole deal, and got the doctor to admit he delivered twins:  Cassie…and Mariah.  Mariah stares in disbelief.  That doctor is who stole Mariah from Sharon and sold her to Ian Ward.   Mariah says that can’t be true.  Ian wouldn’t… he wouldn’t.. she sees wedding veil on the chair. COGNITIVE DISSONANCE!  Nick says, he wouldn’t what?

 

Mariah cries.  “I thought he was like a dad to me!  He made me do… I don’t know him.  Why would he do that to me?”

 

Ian tells Nikki if she’d only told him about the baby that wasn’t his… he wouldn’t have had to choose someone else.  Nikki’s like, what?  He had to choose someone else!  No matter how long it took him to find her!  Nikki’s like what you talking about…Mariah??  Ian says they digress!  Nikki grosses out because Mariah’s been with Ian since she was a baby.  What has he DONE?  He says the question is, what has NIKKI done?

 

He says it’s a pity she gave away everything he gave her.  Now she’s falling back on her crutch, he says, grabbing some liquor.  How is he supposed to know that?  Is he hanging around Devon’s matchbook bar?  He tells “Nicole” she needs him to face her temptation. 

 

“What do you want from me, Ian?”  He only wants what she owes him.  “I OWE YOU NOTHING!” she shrieks.  Time for the needle.  He says she is going to pay him.  She insists she will pay him, she will!  He grabs her arm, she shrieks, and he screams, “I WANT MORE!”  Super Dylan appears in the doorway!!  Waah, Dylan, she cries.

 

“Get the hell away from her,” says Super Dylan.  Nikki breaks free and runs to him.   Ian books it out the front door!  Dylan follows, and Nikki says noooo, Dyyyylan, let me call the police.  No, he needs to do this!  Lock the door behind him!  OOHH, SUPER DYYYLAN, OOHHHHH.

 

Nick slips out of the hospital room while Sharon explains to Mariah the whole story of her birth.  How Helen was a follower of Ian, how Sharon was young and poor and never had an ultrasound or knew anything about twins, how they drugged her, and she was unconscious when they took Mariah from her, how all of Sharon’s strong feelings about Mariah were because they were truly mother and daughter.  Mariah starts sobbing.  Oh, man, I got a feelz.

 

Dr. Cutler warns Victor that after all of this, Phyllis may be “different.”  “In what way different?” asks Victor.  Well, like, she could be NICE.  Her arms could be controlled.  She might not hate Sharon even!  Victor asks if her memory will be intact.  The doctor has hope that she’ll make a full recovery.  Victor thinks that’s good news, but hope won’t buy you a cup of coffee, bud. 

 

Kelly has to help finish the Boxing of Phyllis’ Crap.  The only thing left is that Jabot badge.  Jack’s glad Kelly was honest about wanting that shit out of the house.  Kelly wants Jack to understand that she doesn’t want him to FORGET about Phyllis!  She just wants her stuff on the curb.  “I just don’t want to be surprised by Phyllis,” she says.  Wait til she tears your hair out by the follicles while screaming til your eardrums burst, that'll be kind of surprising. Jack wants Kelly blah blah blah.  Now let’s tape that box SHUT.

 

Victor hovers over Phyllis’ face some more.  “I know that you know who I am.”  Like that’s a plus.  He tells her all kinds of people want her to come back, so it’s OKAY.  And it will be safe, he PROMISES her.  She stares ahead, thinking this Kelly bitch is going to die along with Sharon.

 

Dylan rushes into the darkened coffee shop and flips the CLOSED sign, when it’s pretty obviously CLOSED.  His hand and shirt are covered in BLOOD.  He grabs a trash bag and starts stuffing his shirt in it, when Avery comes out of the shadows because waiting for your boyfriend at home instead of his closed shop would just be weird.  “Is that blood?  What happened?” Ummm, not killing Ian??  Dylan claims he just cut his hand, it’s nothing.

 

Sharon tells Mariah it’s a lot to take in, but she’s safe and secure and has a family.  A real family.  Sharon reaches out to touch her, but she turns away.  She wants to be alone because finding out you have a rich, connected mother who loves you is the worst thing EVER.  Sharon leaves.  Nick tells her she just needs time.

[miamama]

What Mariah said to Sharon in that argument was vile and unforgivable. Sharon just called her out for hitting on Nick. WTF is she pissed at Sharon about? And Nick was the asshole to her. Sharon did nothing but help her after she tried to drive her nuts.

Way to make me hate another character show. Apparently young women who find out about new rich parents have a free pass to be whiny rude jackasses.