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Big Mother

S01.E09: Laws of Attraction

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I didnt watch the episode yet- waiting for it to be up on Hulu - but I noticed a topic wasn't started, so I started it. Have at it, y'all!

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I found this episode surprisingly interesting.

As much fun as Alex & Lindsay have been having, she's been feeling in her gut he probably wasn't interested long term, and it looks like she turned out to be right.  Having listened to him describe his lifestyle, it doesn't sound like he's really interested in relationship with anyone, really.  It's too bad, because they do seem like a natural couple.

Brandon & TeTe have been my favorite couple, but I have doubts now.  I'm on his side on this disagreeing over disagreeing.  I think TeTe is adorable, but I have a relative who acts mortally wounded and "unheard" if you don't agree with her, and she is the one who doesn't compromise.  Sometimes people can "hear" you and still not agree.  He seems pretty articulate and willing to talk things through, but he also has strong boundaries, and she doesn't like that.  Huddling in a ball because someone says you're being sensitive over a hypothetical situation doesn't bode well for a long term match. 

I thought Ben's match up with Lisa was phony as hell and a way to stay on the island, but I think he's ended up liking her more than he expected. But he basically said she's not smart enough for him.  Crazy/sexy, frozen drink fueled, island antics can only take you so far, I guess.

Tyler and Alicia is so whatever.  Lol.  I think Crazy Alex was right about Alicia not being that into him, but just trying to win, but it's a reality show, so, yes, Alex, people will try to win.  Forcing herself to play along with someone she thinks is a dope is her punishment, I suppose!

Oh, Crazy Alex.  Jeff is "so sweet" and makes her feel "so appreciated" but she's doing everything she can to avoid getting too close to him, especially after crawling down Tyler's throat and having a meltdown over BT who she met for about three minutes.  As others have noted, it's all contrived anyway.  It's like her father is a producer or something and demanded she get a face-saving ending instead of being sent home.  That glamping set up was super cool.  Too bad she ran away.

The situation with BT and Ashley was upsetting.  If he has significant PTSD, this show is icky for exploiting it, and having him as a reality contestant.  I felt icky after watching it, and I felt terrible for Ashley who is unprepared to deal with this whole situation in a game show setting.  I don't watch much reality TV because it exploits misfortune, but this seemed like a pretty light, short summer show.  This part bothers me, however.  I'm a little put off to watch the ending.

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This was a rather dull episode for me. I'm not really into listening to the couples talk about the future of these relationships and that's soooo much of what this episode was. I've really liked this series and the host and I hope it comes back for another season, but I can't stand how it appears this will end, with couples choosing to stay together or leave separately (like Bachelor in Paradise). Ugh. There's absolutely no incentive (monetary or otherwise) from the show to stay together past the end of taping. I mean, obviously love, but it would be a hard path to navigate if a couple somehow did try to make it work. There's just way too many logistics to get around even if they do like each other!

Ok, so I scanned through the show quickly and came here to see if I missed any interesting tidbits. I did notice that Brandon was at a disadvantage on the paddle board for a couple reasons and felt bad he fell off so many times. His height and higher center of gravity couldn't have helped but I wondered if he had just had a longer paddle if he would have been fine? He's an athlete, so I'd imagine he has decent balance, but he had to keep bending his knees or leaning over to get the paddle in the water. Bad date choice for them, show.

And why in the world was Alex's date glamping? Did they run out of places to send people and they couldn't repeat another couple's date? They thought she would have a meltdown or hissy fit? And how far away from their Villa was this tent set up - right on the beach in front? I don't know, Alex and Jeffrey as a couple just doesn't make sense to me.

Edited by Meraji
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3 minutes ago, Meraji said:

And why in the world was Alex's date glamping? Did they run out of places to send people and they couldn't repeat another couple's date? They thought she would have a meltdown or hissy fit? And how far away from their Villa was this tent set up - right on the beach in front? I don't know, Alex and Jeffrey as a couple just doesn't make sense to me.

Lol!  It was budget, but maybe they threw it together last minute because Jeffrey and Alex were actually supposed to be gone, until this "solution" was concocted for them to stay as a new couple.  Agree that it doesn't make sense, but at least she acts sane and lower volume around him.  Although she STILL had to ask Brandon and TeTe if she and Jeffrey would have cute babies.  That is her only concern.

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Soo--- the couple where the fair-skinned Real Estate girl scandalously switched to a new partner--- they're apparently having hot sex allll the time---- I'm not mad at them, hey! They're young. But how embarrassing! I mean, don't her folks watch the show? "A lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed" only works properly if the freak part isn't broadcast all over the place. I thought the guy showed maturity in saying the sex is great but he wants more.

Brandon & Tete's meta-argument broke my heart. I thought they seemed like a nice couple, but arguing about things that haven't happened yet is a bad sign. Maybe I'm just rooting for them because she totally looks like a theme park princess (*squee! I'm guessing Disney's "The Princess & the Frog) & he looks like a tall, handsome prince charming.

The PTSD guy also broke my heart. He was being honest & raw & pretty as she was, the girl just couldn't relate. I didn't feel like he was asking her to fix his problems; I think he just wanted to be heard.

Skinny, Republican Alex with the glamping date--- please. They have zero chemistry as a couple. Their kiss was painful to watch. Can the show please put them out of their misery?

And, did I miss something? Is one of the girls a virgin? Perhaps if I paid more attention I could've recalled their names better....

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Lisa and Ben- I thought the whole time that Ben just wanted to stay and have fun.  Tonight's episode did not make me change my mind at all. 

The thing with BT & Ashley is that NO one is prepared to deal with PTSD (unless you're already a therapist) until you're thrown into the deep water.  I don't blame her at all for being completely freaked out, but if she's really interested she can go to support groups, go to therapy to learn more, etc.  Does that suck coming out of what was supposed to be a fun, light hearted reality show?  Yes.  But, I'm just saying that what BT is going through is very real and if someone loves him enough they can both work through it.  It'll take time and patience, though.

I admit- I didn't listen to the whole Brandon Tete argument, but what I heard of it I sided with Brandon.  There is no point in getting upset over hypotheticals.  A person's reaction to the real situation can vary profoundly from what they say.  Each situation is different, the persons state of mind at the time is different...  there are just way too many variables and sometimes you don't know how you will react until you're actually in the situation. 

Here I go again- defending Alex.  Except, not fully.  But, I don't like camping.  You cannot dress it up and call it "glamping" and make it suddenly better.  That looked like a nice, fun place to hang out for awhile but to sleep all night?  No thank you.  I do not buy for one second this "love story" that Alex and Jeffrey are trying to sell.  He was not cool at all about Alex not wanting to be out there.  Which is fine- they are clearly not compatible. 

Tyler and Alicia- they bored me. I have nothing.  They are clearly (to me) not a good match. 

2 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

And, did I miss something? Is one of the girls a virgin? Perhaps if I paid more attention I could've recalled their names better....

Alex and Ashley are virgins.  At first BT's comment about Ashley being a virgin was kind of sweet and then it went to cringe worthy really fast!

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Brandon should run. TeTe is cray cray; unless you are on an actual date, you should not be paying constant attention to your partner. Doing your own thing while still being together is, for me, the gold standard of daily life in a relationship. His totally reasonable scenario of spending an average Sunday evening watching sports while she sits on the couch with him and reads a book gets treated like he planned on spending weekends going to Vegas for strippers without her. Jesus, girl. Yeah, if you're on a date, your guy should be able to put the phone away for the duration of dinner or whatever. And yeah, sometimes, you'll get stuck watching sports or ballet for your partner, but your entire relationship shouldn't revolve around constant compromise.

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I'm super super disappointed in every single couple. Ugh.

Alex & Lindsey: If Alex still wanted to continue touring and hooking up with groupies, why on earth did he come on this show? I thought he wanted to find love, not have a five-week-long fling and be on reality TV. Guess I was wrong. I had such high hopes for them.

BT & Ashley: Seems to me like Ashley is not interested in taking on a man with 'issues'. My heart BROKE for BT. I think some therapy is in order (unless he's already getting therapy); he still has anger issues too. He's such a sweet and gorgeous guy, and it seems that Ashley just wants to have a pretty, perfect package to call her own. He seems smitten with her, although I wonder if his statement that he can see himself marrying is her is just to that he can take her virginity (although to be fair, aside from Ben & Lisa who are doing it like rabbits I don't know if any of the other couples actually slept together.)

Ben & Lisa: They were the least likely couple, in my mind, to actually have strong enough chemistry to carry on after the show. But then hearing Ben saying that his physical connection with her his great but they are not on the same intellectual/emotional level, made my heart sink. Not completely though, bc Ben deserves a lot better than Lisa. I really don't like her.

Brandon & TT: They make me really angry. They had such chemistry and such a promising future, but then both of them had to mess it up. TT seems to be very clingy/needy/whiny. Like someone said upthread, sitting around comfortably on a Sunday night, doing parallel activities, is a very typical long-term way to be together. She was being a little unclear by what she meant, and he immediately shut down in a macho-male way, refusing to talk about it, belittling her for being 'sensitive'. For both of them these are deep seated typical gender characteristics and they will have the same issues with any other person they date. Brandon needs to be more open to discussing things like this without appearing aggressive or avoidant, and TT has to have some more self-worth and self-esteem and not rely so much on a man making her feel whole.

Tyler & Alicia: Did he really say they've been together for just four days? Wow. This is REALLy early-stage dating. I don't see them as being compatible at all. Thumbs down on them.

Jeff & Alex: They coulnd't BE more contrived. I'm feeling Jeff's interest a lot more than Alex's. Alex is just not interested in him. She was terrified to be on a one-on-one date with him. She just wants to be on the island and continue hanging out with her friends. He is being decidedly clingy for a man. I don't like either of them.

 

I highly doubt any of the couples have a long term future. Sigh. How long ago was this filmed? How hard must it have been for the cast to hide their post-show dating life, whether they're dating each other or other ppl, all this time?

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ETA: The afterbuzz show is chock full of interesting information. TT says that, having been molested when she was younger, the way man react to her often triggers stuff for her. The way Brandon was responding to her was giving her a lot of flashbacks. also:

 

Spoiler

She kept talking about Brandon in present tense! I'm hoping there's hope for these 2!

 

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59 minutes ago, Big Mother said:

ETA: The afterbuzz show is chock full of interesting information. TT says that, having been molested when she was younger, the way man react to her often triggers stuff for her. The way Brandon was responding to her was giving her a lot of flashbacks. also:

 

Ok, I admit to not having undivided attention while listening- but I thought she said her dad just up and leaving gave her triggers.  I missed the molested stuff I guess...

But, I agree.  I actually really like listening to the AfterBuzz show for this.  Lots of insights.

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Oh Alex has SO boughten into the whole Southern Prnicess Daddy's Girl mentality and she thinks all guys think it's cute.

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18 hours ago, peach said:

I found this episode surprisingly interesting.

As much fun as Alex & Lindsay have been having, she's been feeling in her gut he probably wasn't interested long term, and it looks like she turned out to be right.  Having listened to him describe his lifestyle, it doesn't sound like he's really interested in relationship with anyone, really.  It's too bad, because they do seem like a natural couple.

Brandon & TeTe have been my favorite couple, but I have doubts now.  I'm on his side on this disagreeing over disagreeing.  I think TeTe is adorable, but I have a relative who acts mortally wounded and "unheard" if you don't agree with her, and she is the one who doesn't compromise.  Sometimes people can "hear" you and still not agree.  He seems pretty articulate and willing to talk things through, but he also has strong boundaries, and she doesn't like that.  Huddling in a ball because someone says you're being sensitive over a hypothetical situation doesn't bode well for a long term match. 

I thought Ben's match up with Lisa was phony as hell and a way to stay on the island, but I think he's ended up liking her more than he expected. But he basically said she's not smart enough for him.  Crazy/sexy, frozen drink fueled, island antics can only take you so far, I guess.

Tyler and Alicia is so whatever.  Lol.  I think Crazy Alex was right about Alicia not being that into him, but just trying to win, but it's a reality show, so, yes, Alex, people will try to win.  Forcing herself to play along with someone she thinks is a dope is her punishment, I suppose!

Oh, Crazy Alex.  Jeff is "so sweet" and makes her feel "so appreciated" but she's doing everything she can to avoid getting too close to him, especially after crawling down Tyler's throat and having a meltdown over BT who she met for about three minutes.  As others have noted, it's all contrived anyway.  It's like her father is a producer or something and demanded she get a face-saving ending instead of being sent home.  That glamping set up was super cool.  Too bad she ran away.

The situation with BT and Ashley was upsetting.  If he has significant PTSD, this show is icky for exploiting it, and having him as a reality contestant.  I felt icky after watching it, and I felt terrible for Ashley who is unprepared to deal with this whole situation in a game show setting.  I don't watch much reality TV because it exploits misfortune, but this seemed like a pretty light, short summer show.  This part bothers me, however.  I'm a little put off to watch the ending.

Who doesn't want to lay by the beach and hear the waves? Someone who doesn't want to cuddle with you. Yeah, what a sham.

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Alex annoys me in general but one thing that would have reallly annoyed me were I Jeff was that after she basically declared the whole 'glamping' situation unfit for her magesty then as he finally agrees to head in she jumps on his back and delcares how right she was. I'd have said "At this oint I need you to get off my back both figuratively and literally."

TeTe is one of those "What did you hear me say?" kind of girls, because that and what you actually said are often different as she twists things in her head and then makes her partner responsible/liable for her many twists. For example I could tell that she felt: "I heard you say we're going to spend every sunday watching sports all day from 6am to midnight" while all he said was that on Sundays he likes to watch sports. She can't stop herself from going overboard on every little comment/disagreement. He shut down in response which will never help, but ugh there was so much going on in their heads during that whole convo it was unreal.

I also hate the "No, really, it's fine." After someone has already TOLD you that it's not. Ashley was trying so hard to comfort him or give him an out (having them let them off the boat) and he was just "guying it out". Don't ask for/cry for help then refuse to accept help or appeasement. He really bugged me there. But the PTSD stuff is rough and I really felt for both of them in that portion. He's going to have to accept help at some point to get over these things and I wonder if/when he will be able to do so. He's been through hell in a way he can never explain and his partner is never going to be able to relate. Sympathize yes. Know what that felt like though? No.

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On 7/28/2016 at 3:29 PM, ClareWalks said:

Tyler and his six kids talk was ridic. "I hope your body snaps back!" to Alicia? RUN, GIRL. RUN.

Yes, what an asshole.  I want you to go through a decade of being pregnant without it affecting your hotness.  

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3 minutes ago, backformore said:

Yes, what an asshole.  I want you to go through a decade of being pregnant without it affecting your hotness.  

As if ANY woman would be dying to put on lingerie and have sex with him after chasing 6 kids around all day. Those "I want LOTS of kids and a HOT SEXY wife" guys are so dumb.

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That whole thing is another big ole red flag that this dude is just not ready to settle down.

It does make me wonder if Alex would still refer to herself as "totally bangable" after having that many kids.

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Guest

This one turned my stomach.  It was like everything wrong with the Bachelor.  99% scripted, producer driven bullshit.  

BT has PTSD and ED!  OMG!

Tyler is a frat boy douche!  

Ben thinks Lisa's a slut!

Alex needs pampering, not glamping.  (I've seen ORs with less light than that glampsite!)

TT's too sensitive for big dumb Brandon, the jock.  And,  yes, she does look just like animated Tiana from the Princess and the Frog, well, if she had a princess wig and foundation.

If Alex's band has groupies that ever involve casual sex, I'll eat my hat.  Or groupies.  Or tours.  Ok, I looked them up.  They had one tour in 2014.  

I thought this was the last episode.  How are they going to stretch this out through another one?  I'd rather have seen the remaining women vet more new men indefinitely.  

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