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Small Talk: 1, 2, 3 Non-Cheerleader Conversation


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(edited)
On ‎4‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 7:14 AM, woodscommaelle said:

I'm sorry.  That totally sucks. I know the feeling.  Not the same situation but my boss thinks 'yous' is a word and I just can't.  Also 'yous guys.'  Huh, do what now?  It's so unprofessional.  She cannot compose an email without asking me to proof read it.  She's just not bright.  It sucks.  I'm not the smartest or even close to it but grammar/the English language....we're in our 40s.  I would think she may have mastered that by now.  Yikes...I'm getting mean....I shall stop bc I like her and she has a good heart. :)

I hope things get better for you. 

Can I vent for a minute?  I'm rethinking this 'good heart' I thought my boss had.  She interviewed someone a few weeks ago and when she came back from it she said 'I think he's gay.'  Who. gives. a fuck?  A few months ago she told me she heard so and so is gay.  He's not (maybe he is but he's dating a girl/regardless, none of my business...or hers!).  This is how rumors get started.  Yesterday she called me to her desk to ask me if I've seen the lady who looks like a man.   She thinks this person is transgendered.  Again, who cares?  What is this behavior? It's definitely not that of an adult.  I usually don't know how to respond bc why are we having these conversations in the first place?  My respect for her is waning.  Not a good feeling.

Ok.  Vent over until a new vent comes along.  :)

On topic (even though this is the off-topic thread):  I CANNOT wait for season 12!!!

Edited by woodscommaelle
  • Love 2
(edited)

Last night a drunk driver slammed his car into the back of my vehicle while I was waiting at a red light.  I suspect he may also have been texting, as he asked me not to call the police because he had to be somewhere soon, and then showed me a text asking him where he was.

I am still shaken.  It was bad luck as I had just spent a good deal to repair some important maintenance issues for the car only two weeks ago.  The car is currently undriveable, and likely totalled.  I take solace only in knowing this, better my car than someone's life.

Edited by California Girl
8 hours ago, woodscommaelle said:

Can I vent for a minute?  I'm rethinking this 'good heart' I thought my boss had.  She interviewed someone a few weeks ago and when she came back from it she said 'I think he's gay.'  Who. gives. a fuck?  A few months ago she told me she heard so and so is gay.  He's not (maybe he is but he's dating a girl/regardless, none of my business...or hers!).  This is how rumors get started.  Yesterday she called me to her desk to ask me if I've seen the lady who looks like a man.   She thinks this person is transgendered.  Again, who cares?  What is this behavior? It's definitely not that of an adult.  I usually don't know how to respond bc why are we having these conversations in the first place?  My respect for her is waning.  Not a good feeling.

Ok.  Vent over until a new vent comes along.  :)

On topic (even though this is the off-topic thread):  I CANNOT wait for season 12!!!

I am sorry to hear that, it is inappropriate for your boss to be engaging you in those conversations with her unsolicited comments about other people's sexual orientation or gender identification.  In some contexts it could be seen as creating a hostile work environment.  

It is hard to know what to do in that situation, do you confront behavior or conversation you know is not appropriate?  Ideally yes, but then you risk alienating your boss and losing your job.  Can you politely tell her that you don't think you should be discussing a colleague or client's sexuality, the next time she brings something like that up?  She may know this in her 'heart', and just need a gentle reminder.  Good for you for caring.

  • Love 1
1 hour ago, California Girl said:

Last night a drunk driver slammed his car into the back of my vehicle while I was waiting at a red light.  I suspect he may also have been texting, as he asked me not to call the police because he had to be somewhere soon, and then showed me a text asking him where he was.

I am still shaken.  It was bad luck as I had just spent a good deal to repair some important maintenance issues for the car only two weeks ago.  The car is currently undriveable, and likely totalled.  I take solace only in knowing this, better my car than someone's life.

Oh my god how scary. Glad you're ok. Totally normal to still be shaken from it. 

Did you call the cops or no? 

  • Love 1
(edited)
1 hour ago, California Girl said:

I am sorry to hear that, it is inappropriate for your boss to be engaging you in those conversations with her unsolicited comments about other people's sexual orientation or gender identification.  In some contexts it could be seen as creating a hostile work environment.  

It is hard to know what to do in that situation, do you confront behavior or conversation you know is not appropriate?  Ideally yes, but then you risk alienating your boss and losing your job.  Can you politely tell her that you don't think you should be discussing a colleague or client's sexuality, the next time she brings something like that up?  She may know this in her 'heart', and just need a gentle reminder.  Good for you for caring.

I honestly think she thinks being gay/transgender/insert anything different than her 'norm' is wrong. She has a ten year old daughter who is probably 100% more open to this stuff than her. It goes back to her (my boss) just being extremely immature.  Maybe ignorant is the right word. That's just sad.

I think next time something like this comes up I'm going to say 'who cares' and leave it at that. Maybe. I don't do confrontation AT ALL. Not that this is necessarily confrontational but just let her know no one gives a shit. 

//thanks for listening//

Edited by woodscommaelle
  • Love 1
2 hours ago, California Girl said:

Last night a drunk driver slammed his car into the back of my vehicle while I was waiting at a red light.  I suspect he may also have been texting, as he asked me not to call the police because he had to be somewhere soon, and then showed me a text asking him where he was.

I am still shaken.  It was bad luck as I had just spent a good deal to repair some important maintenance issues for the car only two weeks ago.  The car is currently undriveable, and likely totalled.  I take solace only in knowing this, better my car than someone's life.

Yikes!!!! I would be petrified!! i am so glad you are OK and hopefully everything gets worked out with your car too. :( 

  • Love 3
(edited)
2 hours ago, California Girl said:

Yes, I called the police.  They performed a field sobriety test and then a breathalyzer on the other driver, and then took him away.

I'm glad you're ok & that he didn't talk you into not calling the police.  It must have been hard...I know if it were paranoid me I'd be scared that he'd pull a gun on me or something!

The funny thing is, if he were texting & driving, what happened likely could have whether he was drinking or not.  I hope this taught him a lesson about BOTH!

Edited by ByTor
  • Love 3
(edited)
1 hour ago, ByTor said:

I'm glad you're ok & that he didn't talk you into not calling the police.  It must have been hard...I know if it were paranoid me I'd be scared that he'd pull a gun on me or something!

The funny thing is, if he were texting & driving, what happened likely could have whether he was drinking or not.  I hope this taught him a lesson about BOTH!

The other driver was Russian and spoke some English, but I know he understood everything I said.  And though he told me not to call the police, he did say that the FBI would know who he was (really).  So when he pulled out a cigarette and started to smoke it while we waited alone in the dark, well, let's just say the thought of a James Bond assassin did cross my mind.  I give the police a lot of credit because they were on top of the situation after a very brief delay in arriving, kept everything under control, and recognized immediately that the man was impaired in some way.  They even made a notation on the exchange of information sheet that driver X is at fault.  But yes, having your car damaged and worrying about insurance and claims and repairs and deductibles is a bummer.

Edited by California Girl
  • Love 1
14 minutes ago, California Girl said:

The other driver was Russian and spoke some English, but I know he understood everything I said.  And though he told me not to call the police, he did say that the FBI would know who he was (really).  So when he pulled out a cigarette and started to smoke it while we waited alone in the dark, well, let's just say the thought of a James Bond assassin did cross my mind.  I give the police a lot of credit because they were on top of the situation after a very brief delay in arriving, kept everything under control, and recognized immediately that the man was impaired in some way.  They even made a notation on the exchange of information sheet that driver X is at fault.  But yes, having your car damaged and worrying about insurance and claims and repairs and deductibles is a bummer.

On that story just keeps getting scarier glad you're ok

  • Love 3

@woodscommaelle I'm so sorry to hear about your continued work stress. Your boss really sounds like a piece of work! I haven't experienced that from another coworker, but I have experienced similar intolerance from guests (I had one berate me for a commercial my company made which shows a same sex couple), and it is so uncomfortable. I understand your aversion to confrontation because I am exactly the same way. I think your "who cares" method might work, since it will show your boss that she won't get a reaction out of you about those sorts of things, and maybe she'll move onto the next person. I hope things get better!

  • Love 3
3 hours ago, Oranaiche said:

@woodscommaelle I'm so sorry to hear about your continued work stress. Your boss really sounds like a piece of work! I haven't experienced that from another coworker, but I have experienced similar intolerance from guests (I had one berate me for a commercial my company made which shows a same sex couple), and it is so uncomfortable. I understand your aversion to confrontation because I am exactly the same way. I think your "who cares" method might work, since it will show your boss that she won't get a reaction out of you about those sorts of things, and maybe she'll move onto the next person. I hope things get better!

This just makes me sad, we have lesbian and gay family and close friends, and I teach my kids that it is not okay to use derogatory expressions, or to exclude people because of their sexuality.  In fact I hope they learn to speak up for/with friends, relatives, classmates, or colleagues who find themselves on the receiving end of any anti-WHO-YOU-ARE harassment, exclusion, or discrimination.  I really thought that a majority of people in our country had evolved in their acceptance and understanding of LGBTQQ persons and issues.

  • Love 2

I found out that I have a bone cyst on my skull that is growing towards my brain.  It will eventually penetrate through the skull to the brain fluid. The neurosurgeon says that the cyst appears benign, but that it will need to be removed and replaced with a titanium disk in that area where the skull is removed.  Ahhhhh (lets out sigh of resignation).

So I need to take a few weeks to prepare for the surgery and recover.  Enjoy the rest of the auditions and training camp everyone.  I think that I will try to avoid knowing who does or does not make the team until I watch the show in August.  Good luck.

1 hour ago, California Girl said:

I found out that I have a bone cyst on my skull that is growing towards my brain.  It will eventually penetrate through the skull to the brain fluid. The neurosurgeon says that the cyst appears benign, but that it will need to be removed and replaced with a titanium disk in that area where the skull is removed.  Ahhhhh (lets out sigh of resignation).

So I need to take a few weeks to prepare for the surgery and recover.  Enjoy the rest of the auditions and training camp everyone.  I think that I will try to avoid knowing who does or does not make the team until I watch the show in August.  Good luck.

You really have had quite a time lately. As you take the time you need to take care of you know that there are positive thoughts coming your way. 

  • Love 3
1 hour ago, California Girl said:

I found out that I have a bone cyst on my skull that is growing towards my brain.  It will eventually penetrate through the skull to the brain fluid. The neurosurgeon says that the cyst appears benign, but that it will need to be removed and replaced with a titanium disk in that area where the skull is removed.  Ahhhhh (lets out sigh of resignation).

So I need to take a few weeks to prepare for the surgery and recover.  Enjoy the rest of the auditions and training camp everyone.  I think that I will try to avoid knowing who does or does not make the team until I watch the show in August.  Good luck.

oh my goodness...i am so very sorry to hear this news! I hope this doesn't offend you in any way but i will be praying for you and for a swift recovery.  i will miss seeing you around here for a bit but understand. 

  • Love 2
1 hour ago, California Girl said:

I found out that I have a bone cyst on my skull that is growing towards my brain.  It will eventually penetrate through the skull to the brain fluid. The neurosurgeon says that the cyst appears benign, but that it will need to be removed and replaced with a titanium disk in that area where the skull is removed.  Ahhhhh (lets out sigh of resignation).

So I need to take a few weeks to prepare for the surgery and recover.  Enjoy the rest of the auditions and training camp everyone.  I think that I will try to avoid knowing who does or does not make the team until I watch the show in August.  Good luck.

Wow. Worst week ever. I'm so terribly sorry. Your thoughtful posts and kind nature will be missed for sure. Hopefully we will see you back in a short time, healthy as can be. 

  • Love 3

@pizzaislife...507 days with myfitnesspal???  Damn you have some discipline!  I use it off & on, but I do input any new recipe I find to see the nutritional information so I can determine whether it's a recipe worth making.  When I was tracking my meals, the thing I found most shocking was how sugar adds up.  There was one particular day where I had half a banana, an orange, and an apple. which put me over my sugar allowance for the day.  I'm not even a huge fruit fan either!

  • Love 1
(edited)
10 hours ago, LaurenBrook said:

On a different note...stop the world, please, I want off: 

http://www.esquire.com/style/mens-fashion/news/a55081/romper-for-men-romphim/

Last week at Target, my 1st grader and I, saw a male hipster in tight cuffed grey sweatpants and a pale baby pink tunic with leather patches on the elbow, and a wide brim hat with a green ribbon on it. Very expensive. Guy was with his girlfriend. 

My little one says as we pass him. Wow mommy, I have the exact same outfit even the green ribbon hat! But I look cuter in it than that guy right, mommy??? I said yes, little one, but he looks nice too.

Girlfriend  to boyfriend hipster says, never EVER wear that in public again, you DO look like a what a 6 year old girl would wear... 

Edited by TiaGrace
  • Love 4
13 hours ago, pizzaislife said:

I am impatiently waiting for the book to be available at my library. I have to read the book first.

I've read it several times. Not to be all one uppy and shit. But it's just so well written. Most recently last November. Was prompted to read it again for some reason...  

10 hours ago, TiaGrace said:

Last week at Target, my 1st grader and I, saw a male hipster in tight cuffed grey sweatpants and a pale baby pink tunic with leather patches on the elbow, and a wide brim hat with a green ribbon on it. Very expensive. Guy was with his girlfriend. 

My little one says as we pass him. Wow mommy, I have the exact same outfit even the green ribbon hat! But I look cuter in it than that guy right, mommy??? I said yes, little one, but he looks nice too.

Girlfriend  to boyfriend hipster says, never EVER wear that in public again, you DO look like a what a 6 year old girl would wear... 

THAT is hilarious!!!! I presume his collar was popped? 

14 hours ago, twinkietwin94 said:

Going through old pics last night and came across this Halloween pic from when I was five and I was desperate to be a cheerleader bc I'd discovered the DCC, 35 freaking years ago back when Judy was on the team

 

Screenshot_2017-05-16-15-51-42.png

YAAAASSS!! #Sadcheerleader you're presh! 

  • Love 2

ugh guys - I'm feeling super stressed.  Things aren't going so well at work and I'm constantly being berated for small things that honestly don't matter!  It's what happens when you work for someone who thinks they know everything and are always right; when you do something differently that is not how she would do it, she gets mad and berates.  As a grown person, I've never felt so chastised and treated as if I were a child.

In many ways, I dread interacting with her because I just don't know what more negative things can come out of her mouth

Guest
28 minutes ago, tobeyoungagain said:

ugh guys - I'm feeling super stressed.  Things aren't going so well at work and I'm constantly being berated for small things that honestly don't matter!  It's what happens when you work for someone who thinks they know everything and are always right; when you do something differently that is not how she would do it, she gets mad and berates.  As a grown person, I've never felt so chastised and treated as if I were a child.

In many ways, I dread interacting with her because I just don't know what more negative things can come out of her mouth

This is how I felt the first year at the place I currently work. The girl who had my job prior to me was acting like she was my boss. I spoke to my boss about it too and all he said was "she's not your boss, I'm your boss." Yeah, that helped lol

Just now, ByTor said:

It's all because you know I like Cassie, @QuiteCalM, and we all know everything is about me :)

BWAAHA! Actually, I'm not going to lie. I look at you as a super just person, as in, fair, level-headed and your measured opinions of her made me stop and go, you know, she's right! So yes, this IS kind of about you ;-D

  • Love 2

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