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Quotes: "Speak of the Me"


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It occurs to me that we don't have a thread for Lucifer quotes.  That definitely needs to be remedied!  I'll start with a couple of my favorites, then step back and let everyone else have at it.  

From "Sweet Kicks" (S01, E05)
Lucifer:  Well, come on gorgeous.  You tell me your most dangerous desire.
Runway Model:  Cheeseburger! 

From "Pops" (S01, E10)
Drunk Chloe:  We weren't even back together and he ended it with me tonight, with a text.  I mean what are we, in high school?
Lucifer:  Well, we're certainly drinking like we are.

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There is so much quotable on the show. More than half of what Lucifer says is quotable!!

Lucifer: I'll go willingly. Please, just take me back to hell.
Amenadiel: No.
Lucifer: You don't want to take me back to Hell? The one bloody thing you wanted this entire time? Did I punch you in your head too hard?

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Amenadiel: How did you even find me. Maze?
Maze: Followed the sweet stench of failure.

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Lucifer: For your penance? Ten bloody mary's and a good shag.

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Dr. Martin: Have you ever considered that all of this excessive partying is your attempt to fill a void?
Lucifer: Attempt? I filled five voids last night.

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Amenadiel: Are you sure you don't want to chase after her? Maybe I can ask Father for some rain to make it a moment.

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Dr. Martin: You are his fallen angel, but here's the thing. When angels fall, they also rise. All you have to do is embrace all that you are.
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Dr. Martin: You keep trying on many hats to hide your horns: playboy, cop, club owner.
Lucifer: Yes, but your forgot all things tongue related.

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Lucifer: I am amazed at the deferential respect you people have for rotting flesh.

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Amenadiel: You are a mockery of everything divine.
Lucifer: Thank you. Thank you, but lately I've been thinking. Do you think I'm the Devil because I'm inherently evil, or just because dear ol' dad decided I was?

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Great topic! 

As much as I love the humor on this show, this one always gets to me:

Lucifer: I don't know if this is all part of the plan or if you can even hear me. But if you're out there-- Dad, I need a favor. I'll be the son that you always wanted me to be. I'll do as you ask, go where you want me to. In exchange, all I ask is that you protect Chloe. 

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There are so many quotable lines. This is hard!

 

Chloe: Now's not the time for your... Lucifer-ness (I think it was in Wingman)

 

Trixie: My name's Beatrice but everyone calls me Trixie.

Lucifer: That's a hookers name! ---Pilot

 

Chloe: Do you have any idea how dickish you sound?

Lucifer: No. ---Pilot

 

Dr Martin: You keep clinging to these ridiculous metaphors; Heaven, Nell, Angel, Demon..

Amenadiel: Actually that's...

Lucifer: You don't want to pick that fight.  ---Take Me Back To Hell.

 

Chloe: There are many reasons to commit murder. Don't let your... Daddy issues... Cloud your judgement.  ---Pops

 

(Voice yelling Oh God) Lucifer: And dear old Dad strikes again! It's oh God this, oh God that! He pops up everywhere and ruins my favorite things!

Chloe :I'd hate to be in your head!---- Pops

 

Father Frank: God has a plan.

Lucifer: Yeah. I know. But why does everyone assume it's a good plan?!

 

Lucifer (to "Dad): If nobody can win than what's the point? What's the bloody point?! 

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Trixie: What's your name?
Lucifer: Lucifer.
Trixie: (whispers) Like the devil?
Lucifer: Exactly.

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Chloe: What was in there?
Lucifer: My angel wings.
Chloe: (laugh)
Lucifer: Come on. Get it all out.
Chloe: (laugh) Okay, seriously, what was in there? (giggle) Oh, you are serious? Oh. Okay, sorry. Did someone (snort) make them for you, or are you big into cosplay?
Lucifer: You're enjoying this, aren't you?

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Lucifer: I love LA. Even the homeless have an IMDb page.
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Lucifer: The Devil does indeed wear Prada.

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Dan: We have one mission, to find out who knew the dead girls. And remember, we're undercover, okay?

Lucifer: As if you could look like anything other than a cop.

Dan: I do not look like a cop!

Amenadiel (totally deadpan): Cop.

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" I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but, so help me Dad."- Lucifer.

"As much as I'd like to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Douche I actually want to win this. I was pointing at Maze." -Lucifer

" Apologize your ass off before she blows that up next time." -Linda to Amenadiel about Maze.

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(edited)

Maze: "I know that look.  Chloe gives it to me when I throw the dishes in the trash instead of washing them."

Suspect: "I'm sorry my cookies aren't gluten and dairy free, Debbie!"

Lucifer: "This time I'll actually take you to your real school." (to Trixie after their ruse was discovered)

Chloe: "Don't do that..." (after Maze slaps her on the butt for the Nth time)

Edited by Lugal
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From "They're Back Arent They?" 

Josh (fake kidnapper hirer) I thought you weren't real cops. I mean a guy who calls himsel Lucifer and the girl from Hottub Hotel.

Lucifer: Highschool! Hottub Highschool! she wasn't  in the sequel!

Josh: Sorry. Anyway can you blame me?!

 

The guy made a valid point and Luci's annoyed correction plus Chloe's annoyed face made it delightful. 

Edited by Gigi43
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from "Mr. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith"


Trixie:  "Then why do you look so worried about Maze?"
Chloe:  "I'm not worried about Maze.  I'm worried about Canada."


Chloe (to Lucifer):  "So you're the reason Canada is in danger?"


Linda:  "Did the bullet go all the way through?"
*Maze digs her finger into the bullet hole and causes Rivers agony*
Maze:  "Nope.  Its still in there."


Maze:  "Oh, I almost forgot.  Miss Alien.  Sorry about that, but she kinda got a bit dirty."
Trixie:  "Whoa!  Is that blood?"
Maze:  "Yeah."
Trixie:  "Awesome!"

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(edited)

1x8...

While Dr. Linda is riding along with Lucifer and Chloe

Lucifer: getting double teamed is usually  much more fun than this.

Chloe: gross.

1×11

Lucifer: " I didn't see that one coming. The devil usually has impeccable gaydar"

Edited by Chaosiswelcome
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On 5/5/2016 at 3:21 PM, HalcyonDays said:

Dr. Martin: You are his fallen angel, but here's the thing. When angels fall, they also rise. All you have to do is embrace all that you are. [Emphasis mine]

This quote, especially the last part, kind of sums up the finale of this season, doesn't it????

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11 hours ago, jhlipton said:

This quote, especially the last part, kind of sums up the finale of this season, doesn't it????

Not just the finale but the whole series.  Lucifer has been trying to find his place for so long. When he cut off his wings, he said it was time to embrace who he was -the rebel. So he didn't identify as angel any ore perhaps.  He doesn't want to be evil but is associated with evil.  He's really a very fascinating character and I can't wait to see what they do for S5

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(edited)

Dan: you speak Chinese?

Lucifer: of course I speak Chinese. I'm the devil, I speak everything.

Also Lucifer: as much as I'd like to see "Crouching tiger hidden douche", I was pointing at Maze.

😂 Quid pro ho

Edited by Chaosiswelcome
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