S09.E01: Hawaii 5 Uh-Oh

[Lisin]

Original Air Date 2014-04-14

[ghoulina]

Wow. Heather really has stepped up the nagging, annoying schitck this season. Does she think it's cute or something? Yea, Terry puts up with it. But he's legally bound to you! Others are going to tire of it real quickly. Perhaps she and Yolanda from BH can get a show together - "We're here to control your lives and correct everything you say. God sent us". Seriously. I wanted to smack her about 50 times last night. 

And why are they renting? Did they need the money from the sale of their other house to build the new monstrosity? I just need Terry to shut up about how hard it is to come home from work to a neighborhood with children and a smaller house. THE HORROR! He should be grateful he isn't coming home to a neighborhood with drug dealers on the corner, gun shots going off, roads that are a mess, smells from refineries in the area, etc. etc. Cry me a freaking river, Terry. 

Vicky is more of a hot mess than ever, IMO. She just reads - pathetic. What drives me crazy is that she doesn't own it. In her TH she says she and Brianna are "rock solid" right now, yet we have Brianna just dying to move to Oklahoma because her family is "a mess". That's pretty telling. They're having their second kid and she wants to move AWAY from her support system. When we found out we were having #2, we chose to move back to my hometown in order to have more family around. Briana really must want to get away. And then we have Vicky telling the girls she's "in a great place", but she's so afraid of being alone she moves this young, sometimes-employee into her house?! 

She still provides the laughs, though. Vicky falling over in the sand at the beach is why they made DVRs! 

I'm not sure what to think of this new chick, Shannon. It seems like she's going to be Peggy 2.0 with the holistic stuff. I will say, I've now decided to go into business as an "Energy Medicine Specialist". I'll just make people lie down, put a compass on their stomach, and tell them they got rid of the hostility but need to work on the jealousy. Come back in 2 days. 

[MMLEsq]

Loved hearing about Shannon's house and the plans for Heather's new house.....oh, to win the lottery one day, so that I too can build a secret room with a bookcase door for my daughter.

Clearly there's something wrong with me because my belly button is not sending out messages to the universe (as far as I know).  Shannon seemed a bit like a quack in that respect -- also, getting your daughters' DNA tested just because they didn't always want to be together??  Based on the previews of what's coming up this season, it looks like her marriage is in a bit of trouble.  The first rule of reality TV should be, "Don't go on a reality show unless your marriage is rock solid."  I don't think I'd want the universe of Bravo viewers dissecting my marriage if I thought it was in trouble -- it just sounds like a recipe for disaster.

What else, what else....   I wonder why they didn't have any scenes with the other new housewife (Lizzie)?  Oh, and Bravo, there's no point in setting up these contrived meetings to introduce a new housewife.  Just be upfront and have one of the ladies say, "Oh, I'm going to meet up with the newest housewife."  I don't understand why Bravo always attempts to continue the charade that every RH cast is comprised of a group of friends that came together organically.

I also thought it was interesting that Vicki is still being forced to defend Brooks, but no one apparently has anything to say about Brianna's husband's (his name escapes me at the moment) behavior last year (screaming at Lydia's mother, etc.).  I guess Vicki is afraid that if she says anything, she'll be cut off from seeing her grandchild(ren).  Brianna holds all the power in that (mother-daughter) relationship.

[Cheetosandchoc]

   I have not seen the first half of the show as I was putting baby cheeto down. But Ghoulina I do think Heather thinks she is cute. She did refer to herself as Fancypants. I think she sees herself like a sitcom wife/mom perhaps she thinks she is the wife on "Everybody Loves Raymond" only fancier!

[ghoulina]

MMLEsq, I think Lizzie started filming later than Shannon. At least I THINK that's what I read somewhere. Maybe they weren't sure about her or she signed her contract later or something like that?

[SuzWhat]

Thank you, editing monkeys, for the numerous shots of Vicki landing in the ocean face-first. I could not tell if it was the same shot, repeated, or if it was really multiple times.

It will never be not funny. Almost as good as her getting hit with the football or taking a spill before accepting her award.

[FozzyBear]

Moving my thoughts over from TWOP:

Ok first off, I'm not going to like the new chick (Shannon?). Just not going to happen. She's way too much. But her husband does seem to hate her so her storyline might be interesting. Also, shut up about how "green" your house is. I just can't with that. I worked in public policy in CA on green building policy and there is literally no way that a house that large in that location is green. It may be greener than the neighbors but that's a far cry fr being green. Basically the two biggest issue in CA are water and air quality. That landscaping is going to take a ton of water to maintain and it is so far away from anything you're going to have to get in a car to do anything. And you're worried about wifi, but you've built a huge home that requires electricity to like 20 rooms plus a basketball court? Just no. You want a green house? But a smaller existing home in a walkable neighborhood and put in solar. Otherwise? Just shut up. I just can't with these vanity green measures that don't do much but make rich ladies feel good about themselves.

So we're just pretending PTSD Ryan didn't happen last season? Interesting. And I'll believe Brianna getting off my TV when I see it. Anyone want to get all conspiracy with me and guess that Ryan's transfer to Oklahoma was about the military wanting both Ryan and Brianna someplace where AC wouldn't send cameras? As of last season they were pretty much the embodiment of a bunch of bad stereotypes about military couples. Not exactly the message I think Uncle Sam wants out there.

And speaking of conspiracy theories...something happened between Eddie and Tamarah. She seems all kinds of knocked down a peg and on her best behavior. I wonder if Eddie's already got one foot out the door and Tamatah's just trying to hang on. My guess is she got really drunk one night and did something inappropriate (probably not cheating, but got too flirty or drunk dialed an old boyfriend) and Eddie retaliated by making sure she knew there were plenty of younger OC gym skanks he could be bedding. She seems on lock down or something.

What's up with Tamara and Eddie's baby drama in the upcoming episodes. Why does it matter if Eddie is good with babies? Aren't Tamara's kids 10 or 11? Is Tamara pregnant?

[FamilyVan]

Yayyy I'm here.

I think I like this new chick Shannon.  I like her house and her granny decorating style.  But sadly her marriage dynamic totally reminds me of my marriage, like the honeymoon baby and everything, and my marriage didn't make it, but hey who knows... let's see how it plays out.

Someone on the other board said that Vicki looked like Mrs. Roper in her talking head yellow dress.  She is totally channeling Mrs. Roper with the sex innuendos too - it's making me cringe.  I hope she stops all that soon.  I am not into fun sexed up granny Vicki.

So Vicki totally slammed the entire state of OK?  It's invisible?  I'm pretty sure they get Bravo there... whoops.

[PatsyStone]

Oh gawd. I don't know if I can do another season of these loony tunes. I've just had it so up to my eyeballs with Vicki. I think I'm about woo-hooed out. I can't deal with the Brooks/Brianna bullshit anymore. Please don't force that plot line down our throats for another entire season. Who cares? And, I really don't need an entire season focused around Brianna moving to OK either. It's like Yolo, Kim and Ramona dealing with their daughters going off to college. Let's move on. Vicki will be absolutely unwatchable with all of the self-pitying theatrics that will ensue. 

And Heather? You're not cute. Or funny. Or as perfect as you'd like us all to believe. I'm not even going to get into that HOUSE. Can Terry be making that much money as a plastic surgeon? 

 

And speaking of conspiracy theories...something happened between Eddie and Tamarah. She seems all kinds of knocked down a peg and on her best behavior.

I agree with this assessment. Something is off with her. Maybe she's going through menopause or something. There is an air of desperation about her with her worrying about all the young hotties at the gym. Or maybe she's just finally realized Eddie is gay. 

I'm not liking the new one thus far. Did she say she had a DNA test done on her twins to be sure they were hers? Wha? It does look like she's gonna bring the crazy later on in the season though. So, there's that. 

[imjagain]

Moving my thoughts over from TWOP:

Ok first off, I'm not going to like the new chick (Shannon?). Just not going to happen. She's way too much. But her husband does seem to hate her so her storyline might be interesting. Also, shut up about how "green" your house is. I just can't with that. I worked in public policy in CA on green building policy and there is literally no way that a house that large in that location is green. It may be greener than the neighbors but that's a far cry fr being green. Basically the two biggest issue in CA are water and air quality. That landscaping is going to take a ton of water to maintain and it is so far away from anything you're going to have to get in a car to do anything. And you're worried about wifi, but you've built a huge home that requires electricity to like 20 rooms plus a basketball court? Just no. You want a green house? But a smaller existing home in a walkable neighborhood and put in solar. Otherwise? Just shut up. I just can't with these vanity green measures that don't do much but make rich ladies feel good about themselves.

So we're just pretending PTSD Ryan didn't happen last season? Interesting. And I'll believe Brianna getting off my TV when I see it. Anyone want to get all conspiracy with me and guess that Ryan's transfer to Oklahoma was about the military wanting both Ryan and Brianna someplace where AC wouldn't send cameras? As of last season they were pretty much the embodiment of a bunch of bad stereotypes about military couples. Not exactly the message I think Uncle Sam wants out there.

And speaking of conspiracy theories...something happened between Eddie and Tamarah. She seems all kinds of knocked down a peg and on her best behavior. I wonder if Eddie's already got one foot out the door and Tamatah's just trying to hang on. My guess is she got really drunk one night and did something inappropriate (probably not cheating, but got too flirty or drunk dialed an old boyfriend) and Eddie retaliated by making sure she knew there were plenty of younger OC gym skanks he could be bedding. She seems on lock down or something.

What's up with Tamara and Eddie's baby drama in the upcoming episodes. Why does it matter if Eddie is good with babies? Aren't Tamara's kids 10 or 11? Is Tamara pregnant?

I was going say the same thing. Tamra seems to be acting very "well behaved". Did you also hear her say she isn't drinking. I heard her mention at least twice.

I doubt she is pregnant. Eddie does not seem to want children.

Edited April 18, 2014 by imjagain

[darbar]

Shannon is a freak, plain and simple. Going green to an extent is fine, but some of her other ideas are even freakier than flower child Lydia.

How much house does anyone need. Heather and her husband should be knocked down a few hundred pegs and live in a high rise on the south side of Chicago.

Come on Vicki. You don't know what people in Oklahoma eat? She's said some dumb things, but this is a topper.

[UsernameFatigue]

Just saw the first  epi of this season. Where the heck did they find Shannon? I loved how she talked about how important it was for her to live in a 'green' house - one that is so big she doesn't know the square footage. Kind of like celebrities that lecture the little people about the dangers of global warming - while flying around in their private jets. Too funny.

Then there is Heather. So happy to be living in a small house because she can actually find her children. But that will only last for two years until they move into their 18 thousand square foot house, and lose each other again. It did occur to me that when her daughters find out that they have built a secret room for their son, they will have to build again. Because I am sure the rest of the kids will want their own secret rooms. And I don't see Heather giving up her hair salon for any of them.

Wow, Briana is moving to Oklahoma. Almost had me singing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning". I do hope Vicki visits, because I am dying to know what people who live there eat!

[tulip555]

Vicki just seems so unsophisticated to me...so not surprised she would ask such an insipid question about what people eat in Ok. Isn't Vicki from Illinois...which isn't really that far from OK.  Where does Bravo find these women,LOL

[Shut Your Legs Kim]

Heather is a piece of bloody work! Only in her world is a house being too big a big deal. Most women I know are happy to have any home at all. And Terry? Calling your kid a bitch is not winning you any points.

[tulip555]

these people are simply despicable, IMHO