S04.E15: Where Are They Now? Christina and Paula

[mrsjoe]

So it looks like Paula and Christina have both been doing well in the losing weight department. It was almost like Paula was speaking to all of us when she asked Dr. Now if he honestly thought she would ever get her to her goal weight.

 

I can't help feeling like even though this episode contained two "successes", it was kind of depressing. I don't think you need a degree to see that Christina still has a really unhealthy relationship with food. I would even go so far as calling it an eating disorder. I mean, trying to keep her calories to 450 a day? That's insane. I hope her skin surgery helps her come to terms with her appearance, but I can't help but think she is now going to find something else she hates about her body to obsess on.  We talk about the need for therapy and episodes like tonight make me wonder if TLC purposely doesn't encourage therapy because the mentally healthy tend not to make "good tv".  I mean, in Christina's follow-up a year ago, she was already showing signs of anorexia and yet her first trip to a therapist was over a year later? Maybe Dr. Now really is as lackadaisical about therapy as the show makes him seem.

 

And for Paula, I was happy for her, but sad for her children. Genetics are not on their side, with their dad having been about as big as Paula when he died, and I can't help but think that Paula is making the change too late. And then when she made breakfast for the two of them and made a big pan of bacon for TWO PEOPLE, it just seemed like she was talking about healthy choices, but not making her daughter follow a healthy diet. I mean, even if that was turkey bacon she was frying, it was still a huge amount, especially considering she is on a restricted diet and couldn't have eaten much of it without getting full, meaning most of it was for her daughter. What's sad is probably the best Paula will be able to do with kids is to help them end up only mildly obese.

I forgot to mention one of the most depressing parts of the episode. The look on Christina's face when Dr. Now told her she had to gain weight in order to get surgery. I totally get her reaction, but that look just had so much pain in it that it stuck with me, even though I saw the episode 5 days ago.

[ClareWalks]

Agree, Christina is in a pretty scary place. She must be pretty tall, too, because she looked quite gaunt at 160 (and even the increased-weight 177). I am 5'11" and start to look gaunt at around 150 lb. That being said, I was yelling "I'll train you, Christina!" at the TV when Dr. Now told her to gain weight. I would LOVE to work with her as a client. Developing a healthy relationship with food is something I have experience with teaching other young women and with doing myself.

 

Paula did well but I was struck by how big her daughter still was after a year of supposedly eating healthier. I wonder what the deal was there.

[cynicat]

She must be pretty tall, too, because she looked quite gaunt at 160 (and even the increased-weight 177)

 

 

Wasn't that weight pre-skin surgery?  If so, she could really weigh significantly less, with a whole bunch of sagging skin.

[ClareWalks]

Wasn't that weight pre-skin surgery?  If so, she could really weigh significantly less, with a whole bunch of sagging skin.

 

True for her 160 weight (I think she said she'd had the stomach-skin surgery already by then, but I might be mixing up her and Paula), but after she had the final skin surgeries her final weight was in the 170s, and she still looked quite thin. I think she must be at least 5'10".

[Azubah]

I was wondering where this thread was! I was beginning to think I'd hallucinated the episode.

[grumpypanda]

I found myself getting really mad at Paula during this episode. I think it's pretty hypocritical that she wants to teach others about weight loss when she can't even get her young daughter's weight under control.

Savannah is a young kid so Paula still has control of nearly everything she eats. Don't keep junk food in the house, pack her a healthy lunch to take to school, don't get her fast food!! She's just a kid, she doesn't have any money to buy her own Big Mac and even if she did don't drive her to McDonald's.

Of course kids will find a way to bum an occasional cookie from a friend at school but Paula ultimately has control of at least 95% of her child's daily food intake.

I believe Paula said something about Savannah not wanting to be active because she would rather watch tv. Well, your the mom, turn the damn tv off until she gets some exercise first.

Sorry about the rant, I just feel so bad for Savannah. It's tough being the fat kid.

Anyway, I was shocked at how much weight Christina lost. She looked like a balloon that deflated. I'm happy that she finally got the surgery and I hope it improves her confidence. She really needs some major therapy through. She seems hell bent on self-destruction.

[Armchair Critic]

I wish Christina would have lived by herself awhile, she finally moved out of her parents but then her new boyfriend moved in with her.

[Ann Taylor]

I found myself getting really mad at Paula during this episode. I think it's pretty hypocritical that she wants to teach others about weight loss when she can't even get her young daughter's weight under control.

Savannah is a young kid so Paula still has control of nearly everything she eats. Don't keep junk food in the house, pack her a healthy lunch to take to school, don't get her fast food!! She's just a kid, she doesn't have any money to buy her own Big Mac and even if she did don't drive her to McDonald's.

Of course kids will find a way to bum an occasional cookie from a friend at school but Paula ultimately has control of at least 95% of her child's daily food intake.

I believe Paula said something about Savannah not wanting to be active because she would rather watch tv. Well, your the mom, turn the damn tv off until she gets some exercise first.

Sorry about the rant, I just feel so bad for Savannah. It's tough being the fat kid.

Anyway, I was shocked at how much weight Christina lost. She looked like a balloon that deflated. I'm happy that she finally got the surgery and I hope it improves her confidence. She really needs some major therapy through. She seems hell bent on self-destruction.

I worry for Savannah and to some extent I was thinking that Paula should focus more on her daughter than on her motivational speaking. But I'm not sure that would necessarily be productive. If she's not paying enough attention to her daughter because she's so involved with speaking engagements, that's one thing, but we don't know that this is the case. And it's not so easy to control what your preteen or young teen eats. Paula rightly pointed out that she hasn't been the best role model. It goes against everything we think a mother should do, but she did need to focus on herself before she could hope to really help her daughter. Now that she's come a long way to getting her own house in order, she's in a better position to help Savannah. It is bad that Savannah gained so much weight while her mother was losing. I also don't always watch that closely, and didn't see the large pan of bacon Paula cooked. Since it's only been in the last year that three of her four kids have left home, I wonder if she's still in the pattern of cooking for five. That has to change.

 

It's a hard thing though, to get your obese child to eat healthfully without becoming the nagging parent that gets tuned out. Paula has to tread carefully lest she make Savannah feel ashamed of herself. An overweight child will rebel against parental nagging and at Savannah's age will find a way to get the food she craves. Paula has to make up for the years of modeling all the wrong habits, and she is trying to engage Savannah in a positive way. At the end of the episode she did say that Savannah had lost a little weight--it may not be a lot of progress, but it's something.

 

It's amazing to see how wonderfully Christina has done, notwithstanding all her difficulties. It took a long time for her to turn the corner, but all the resources that were given to her were finally put to excellent use. She made tremendous life changes in a short period of time. I see that her mother looks to have lost quite a bit of weight as well.

 

I'm not surprised that Christina is struggling. She's what, 24 years old and she's lost a staggering 508 lbs. That's three average-sized adult men!  Christina's anorexia wasn't mental illness. It was an understandable over-reaction in her efforts to find the path to sustained weight loss. Only somebody who's been there could truly understand what a feat this must be, psychologically.

 

Realistically, she is going to struggle for the rest of her life and I hope she keeps on getting help. Look at Melissa, ten years out and she still says she sees the 600 lb. woman. They all will see that person for the rest of their lives, and they need to see that in order to keep within a reasonable weight. Christina will always have to watch what she eats far more carefully than the average person. It's now known that once you've been obese (never mind super-morbidly obese), your metabolism changes and you need to eat about 10% fewer calories to maintain your weight than somebody who's never been obese. It's hardly fair to think of her as being self-destructive because she hasn't found the right balance yet. She'll always have to watch for that balance or else she'll become obese again. At some point she'll want to have children and that can be a slippery weight slope for any woman, never mind somebody with her history. She needs therapy, but ironically I don't think it's so much because of mental health issues as for support and guidance in how to maintain her weight in a healthy range, in a healthy way, over the long haul. This is going to be a heroic task. At least she has a chance now, though. 

Edited April 14, 2016 by Ann Taylor

[CousinOliver]

Personally, I always make an entire package of bacon, even though I'm not eating it in one sitting. My late husband and I would eat some for breakfast, refrigerate the rest of the cooked bacon, maybe have BLTs later in the week, or crumble some on a salad or something.

I don't know how much Paula is really investing in this public speaking thing. Her first one was apparently affiliated with her Sister in Law's church and it was really poorly attended. She very well might want to make hay out of her 15 minutes and become a speaker, but it doesn't look like she's really hustling it. From her public FB, it looks like she's had 2 speaking engagements, the one we saw and a WLS conference, also in Atlanta. She also hosted a virtual candlelight vigil for obesity awareness.

Don't get me wrong, if I could talk about myself and get paid for it, I'd jump on that bandwagon, too. Sweet gig. But, I'm not sure it's going to work. I love watching this show, but I wouldn't be bothered to go to a free presentation by one of the participants, much less pay them.

[Momof2boyz]

I was wondering where this thread was! I was beginning to think I'd hallucinated the episode.

YES!  I watched this last week and was really confused because I couldn't find the thread.  I thought maybe it was an older episode.  I was also trying to find Christina's original thread.  Was she the girl that lived at home with her parents and had a boyfriend with kind of longish hair and a beard.  She was very pretty and wore her hair in bows.  I recall there was a humiliating scene in the airport where she had to ride the luggage cart.  And in the end she and the boyfriend took a trip to the zoo.  Or was that someone else?  The boyfriend seemed like kind of a loser but loving.  Christina said she had been in an abusive relationship so I was curious what happened there or what was happening that we didn't see.  Or maybe I am confusing her with someone else entirely.

[Hero]

YES! I watched this last week and was really confused because I couldn't find the thread. I thought maybe it was an older episode. I was also trying to find Christina's original thread. Was she the girl that lived at home with her parents and had a boyfriend with kind of longish hair and a beard. She was very pretty and wore her hair in bows. I recall there was a humiliating scene in the airport where she had to ride the luggage cart. And in the end she and the boyfriend took a trip to the zoo. Or was that someone else? The boyfriend seemed like kind of a loser but loving. Christina said she had been in an abusive relationship so I was curious what happened there or what was happening that we didn't see. Or maybe I am confusing her with someone else entirely.

I think you are thinking of Amber.

[Guest dutronc]

YES!  I watched this last week and was really confused because I couldn't find the thread.  I thought maybe it was an older episode.  I was also trying to find Christina's original thread.  Was she the girl that lived at home with her parents and had a boyfriend with kind of longish hair and a beard.  She was very pretty and wore her hair in bows.  I recall there was a humiliating scene in the airport where she had to ride the luggage cart.  And in the end she and the boyfriend took a trip to the zoo.  Or was that someone else?  The boyfriend seemed like kind of a loser but loving.  Christina said she had been in an abusive relationship so I was curious what happened there or what was happening that we didn't see.  Or maybe I am confusing her with someone else entirely.

 

That was Amber and her boyfriend Rowdy. Christina's family all moved to Houston with her, and she had a very slender sister who had a baby during the year of filming. Amber's family seemed traditional and stable, and Christina's was briefly described as dysfunctional and chaotic. Amber always seemed lively and alert, and until she lost any significant weight, Christina seemed withdrawn, blank and extremely depressed. Now she seems kind of anxious, but depression and anxiety often go like salt and pepper, so there's that. I agree that Christina probably needs some time to herself where she's single, unaffiliated and does a lot of the really uncomfortable self-discovery parts that she didn't get to face when she was dependent on everyone else and coping by eating.

 

Paula seemed to be mostly together, but I wonder what could be done about Savannah without causing more problems and giving her a complex, beyond modeling good eating and making good nutritional choices for mealtime.

[Momof2boyz]

That was Amber and her boyfriend Rowdy. Christina's family all moved to Houston with her, and she had a very slender sister who had a baby during the year of filming. Amber's family seemed traditional and stable, and Christina's was briefly described as dysfunctional and chaotic. Amber always seemed lively and alert, and until she lost any significant weight, Christina seemed withdrawn, blank and extremely depressed. Now she seems kind of anxious, but depression and anxiety often go like salt and pepper, so there's that. I agree that Christina probably needs some time to herself where she's single, unaffiliated and does a lot of the really uncomfortable self-discovery parts that she didn't get to face when she was dependent on everyone else and coping by eating.

 

Paula seemed to be mostly together, but I wonder what could be done about Savannah without causing more problems and giving her a complex, beyond modeling good eating and making good nutritional choices for mealtime.

Thank you.  I think I may have missed Christina's episode then.

[Guest dutronc]

I like Christina a lot--since she was so blank and diminished at the beginning, it took me a while to get into her story, but it has a lot of the familiar elements of re-learning to eat around people who have no meaningful nutritional understanding, an extremely codependent family, and some small victories.

[grumpypanda]

Maybe I'm being way too hard on Paula but Savannah is only about eleven years old and I think Paula needs to get control of her weight now before she becomes a teenager.

Someone is providing the unhealthy foods for Savannah to get so big and it has to be Paula. I just don't understand how Savannah could gain so much weight after Paula's surgery.

Anyway, Paula looked great at the end and hopefully she continues to help her daughter get healthier.

Edited April 14, 2016 by grumpypanda

[notyrmomma]

I worry for Savannah and to some extent I was thinking that Paula should focus more on her daughter than on her motivational speaking. But I'm not sure that would necessarily be productive. If she's not paying enough attention to her daughter because she's so involved with speaking engagements, that's one thing, but we don't know that this is the case. And it's not so easy to control what your preteen or young teen eats. Paula rightly pointed out that she hasn't been the best role model. It goes against everything we think a mother should do, but she did need to focus on herself before she could hope to really help her daughter. Now that she's come a long way to getting her own house in order, she's in a better position to help Savannah. It is bad that Savannah gained so much weight while her mother was losing. I also don't always watch that closely, and didn't see the large pan of bacon Paula cooked. Since it's only been in the last year that three of her four kids have left home, I wonder if she's still in the pattern of cooking for five. That has to change.

 

It's a hard thing though, to get your obese child to eat healthfully without becoming the nagging parent that gets tuned out. Paula has to tread carefully lest she make Savannah feel ashamed of herself. An overweight child will rebel against parental nagging and at Savannah's age will find a way to get the food she craves. Paula has to make up for the years of modeling all the wrong habits, and she is trying to engage Savannah in a positive way. At the end of the episode she did say that Savannah had lost a little weight--it may not be a lot of progress, but it's something.

 

It's amazing to see how wonderfully Christina has done, notwithstanding all her difficulties. It took a long time for her to turn the corner, but all the resources that were given to her were finally put to excellent use. She made tremendous life changes in a short period of time. I see that her mother looks to have lost quite a bit of weight as well.

 

I'm not surprised that Christina is struggling. She's what, 24 years old and she's lost a staggering 508 lbs. That's three average-sized adult men!  Christina's anorexia wasn't mental illness. It was an understandable over-reaction in her efforts to find the path to sustained weight loss. Only somebody who's been there could truly understand what a feat this must be, psychologically.

 

Realistically, she is going to struggle for the rest of her life and I hope she keeps on getting help. Look at Melissa, ten years out and she still says she sees the 600 lb. woman. They all will see that person for the rest of their lives, and they need to see that in order to keep within a reasonable weight. Christina will always have to watch what she eats far more carefully than the average person. It's now known that once you've been obese (never mind super-morbidly obese), your metabolism changes and you need to eat about 10% fewer calories to maintain your weight than somebody who's never been obese. It's hardly fair to think of her as being self-destructive because she hasn't found the right balance yet. She'll always have to watch for that balance or else she'll become obese again. At some point she'll want to have children and that can be a slippery weight slope for any woman, never mind somebody with her history. She needs therapy, but ironically I don't think it's so much because of mental health issues as for support and guidance in how to maintain her weight in a healthy range, in a healthy way, over the long haul. This is going to be a heroic task. At least she has a chance now, though. 

You would think it would be a no-brainer to get your kid to lose weight or eat healthy as a parent because you control everything they eat, but it's not.  I would also even say that it's sometimes harder to get them to eat right then it is to get yourself to eat right.  I have a weight problem (even though I'm currently at goal weight, my weight will always be a problem) and I have an 11 year old boy with a weight problem.  A few weeks ago, I brought him to a weight loss coach that specializes in children (he makes it fun for them) and its still a daily battle.  We have removed all the "bad" food from the house, but he is allowed to have a little natural peanut butter...so you know what I caught him doing this morning?  Eating the peanut butter with a spoon, which is not what he was suppose to eat today!  At least when you are on a diet yourself, you are on board with eating less and losing weight, my son has fought me all the way....the crying, the begging, the bargaining...it's tough to put your kid through this.  (ok, i'm being a little dramatic as it really isn't that soul crushing for him, but still!)

 

Also, I was a little miffed about how Dr. Now treated Christina and I don't agree that she needed to hurry up and put weight back on.  She must be like 5' 10" - 6ft because I weight 150 and the dr told me I could go another 10-20 if I wanted (I'm 5' 6").  But I too worry for when she has a baby, she will easily blow up then.  

[mrsjoe]

Yeah, I agree that Paula has a fine line to walk with Savannah. Don't forget that even hinting to an 11-year-old girl that something is wrong with her can setup self esteem issues for years. Obviously, she can't just tell her she's fat and put her on a diet. The other issue is that several of the participants on this show have talked about hiding and stealing food and eating in private while their parents weren't looking and the issues with food that came from it. It seems to me her best course of action is going to be just making healthy meals and only preparing enough for two reasonable portions. And then if after they finish, her daughter is still hungry, that's when you pull out the vegetables and offer her those if she's truly hungry. Her pantry is going to have to be only stocked with decent foods that if her daughter snacks on, won't just be empty calories. But I'm guessing that is not what's happening if she is making a pan full of bacon.

 

At least Paula recognizes there's a problem with her daughter's eating habits. Melissa seemed to be under the impression that if you had kids in the house they HAD to have junk food. I'm betting there is a little bit of this going on in Paula's house because I think as parents we don't want to deprive our kids of all treats, so she throws in bacon and other unhealthy foods maybe a little more than she should because her daughter really wants them.

 

I'm guessing the speaking engagements are not a big part of her life, but were fluffed up a bit in order to give her a better storyline. But hey, at least she has lost most of the weight. Wasn't it on this show where they had someone who was over 300 lbs and being paid by the government to administer their "Healthy Women" program until the funding got cut? Could be worse!

[grumpypanda]

I wonder how tall Christina is too. I'm only 5'2 and I look really heavy in the 160s (size 12 or 14.) I don't start to look thin until I hit about 125 lbs (size 6.) My weight has been all over the place in the last twelve years. I have been as low as 113 lbs and as high as 169 lbs.

It's amazing how different everyone is built because I have a friend that is the same height as me and looks thin at 145 lbs but I still look chunky at that weight. She had pretty long legs for a short person which makes her appear thinner.

Anyway, Christina didn't look that tall to me but she definitely looked unhealthy before she put on some weight. Her face looked gaunt and you could see the bones in her chest like Dr. Now said.

I think concentrating on strength training is good advice for her. I wouldn't doubt if she gets a little obsessed with it though because Christina seems to be an all or nothing sort of person. I really like Christina and hope she continues on the path to get healthy mind and body.

Edited April 16, 2016 by grumpypanda

[Moon Martini]

Christina seems like a sad soul to me. Even with all her success, she seems dreadfully unhappy. I'm not sure about the protocol for getting bypass with Dr. Now, but where I live, one has to go through a vigorous psychological assessment before even being considered for gastric bypass surgery. Perhaps, this is why many of the participants fail, because the underlying issues for why they over eat are not addressed in depth. One or two visits to a counsellor is not going to put a dent in these issues. 

[Calamity Jane]

On 4/22/2016 at 10:02 AM, Moon Martini said:

Christina seems like a sad soul to me. Even with all her success, she seems dreadfully unhappy. I'm not sure about the protocol for getting bypass with Dr. Now, but where I live, one has to go through a vigorous psychological assessment before even being considered for gastric bypass surgery. Perhaps, this is why many of the participants fail, because the underlying issues for why they over eat are not addressed in depth. One or two visits to a counsellor is not going to put a dent in these issues. 

We seldom see patients getting counseling, and when we do, it's because of other issues.  These people all need constant monitoring and psychological help (family sneaking food for her into the hospital because she would "starve"?  Please).   As the doctor so correctly noted, the whole family participated in the dynamic that got her to 600+ pounds, and they all needed to be involved in family dynamics counseling.  I am baffled that it seems so missing from this whole operation, as well as lots and lots of nutritional and cooking help.