Bride & Prejudice - General Discussion

[Meredith Quill]

A place to discuss particular episodes, arcs and moments from Bride & Prejudice.

[Pepper Mostly]

So, Eugene and Samantha have been together for two years, they have a child together, and Eugene's religion is very important to him and central to his life. Yet, Samantha doesn't know that he doesn't eat bacon; indeed, that Jewish people aren't supposed to have pork? Riiiiight.

[okerry]

So, Eugene and Samantha have been together for two years, they have a child together, and Eugene's religion is very important to him and central to his life. Yet, Samantha doesn't know that he doesn't eat bacon; indeed, that Jewish people aren't supposed to have pork? Riiiiight.

I wondered about that, too. And her dad was a real embarrassment. But I guess I couldn't figure why everybody kept saying, "Aren't you rushing into this?" How can they be "rushing" when they've already got a five-month-old baby??

 

(I don't remember anybody's name, so I'll have to just describe them)

 

The interracial couple: His dad wasn't all that bad. Awkward, maybe, but he was trying. And he explained that his son already had a child with a black woman (did they ever say where she was?) and that because of his grandchild he had become more accepting of interracial couples.

 

And here's something I'll throw out there for the sake of discussion: Even though it's not politically correct to say so, I don't think that all people who are against interfaith and/or interracial marriages are automatically terrible, evil, bigoted people. A marriage is creating a family, whether the couple ever has children or not. Two is a family. And they're going to be joining their own families together, too, at least to some degree. 

 

Families are built on shared history and tradition. When you have virtually no history or tradition in common, it's going to be a lot harder to build that family connection with your partner. Yes, I know everyone has a story about an exception where it worked great, but interfaith couples in particular face tremendous obstacles in trying to create their family and those obstacles aren't coming from outside prejudice. They're coming from the two people themselves, who find themselves forced to either give up traditions that are important to them or be cut off from sharing them with their partner. They've really got to think this through before the wedding, but most of them don't. I've seen some tragic examples of this myself, where nobody really thought about what it was really going to be like.

 

Normal rules about "tolerance" don't apply when it comes to romantic relationships. Someone can, and should, be perfectly fine with people of other races, religions, etc. living next door or working alongside them, for example, but that is not the same as marrying and trying to create a family with someone whose history and traditions are very, very different from yours. I think that's what the sister meant when she kept saying, "Be with your own."

 

My point is just that these family members who are pleading for caution and saying "think again" aren't necessarily evil, prejudiced bigots. Sometimes, they do have a point when it comes to marriage and family.

[Pepper Mostly]

Even Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof eventually accepted Chava's marriage! Shrug. I don't know. I worked for a Jewish Federation office for a time, and I remember one person being pretty snarky about a guy named Sullivan who converted when he married a Jewish woman, implying that he wasn't "really" Jewish; (he was vigorously defended by some of the other folks), there were conversations about mixed marriages and the impact on the kids. I don't think that wanting to preserve your religion or traditions is bad. I don't necessarily think that anyone who expresses reservations is bigoted and horrible, but I also think we live in a bigger world today, where we are out of our own communities and neighborhoods and meet lots more people of different backgrounds and traditions. I think there has to be room for more mixed coupled and families, and I think it paves the way for more mutual understanding, which can only be a good thing! I also think that if people are supported by their family and community, regardless of their differences, they have a better shot.

 

No words for the homophobe family, though. "you're going to be JUDGED" (meaning--"don't make it too gay!") "don't do anything that will make people uncomfortable!" (meaning--"don't kiss! Eww!")

[okerry]

Yeah, I never even got to the gay couple! From what we saw, their problems are entirely external: They are two attractive men from similar cultures who adore each other, so IMO their situation is a little different.

 

I hope this couple can remember that people of their parents' ages did not grow up with homosexuality being as open and talked about and accepted as it is now. Even 30 years ago, it was barely talked about and many people really knew nothing about it at all. Movie stars hid the truth and no one would have believed it anyway. My very Christian grandmother just adored Jim Nabors' gospel albums and would never, ever have believed he was gay, because that just wasn't part of the world she lived in. Something like being gay was only for Other People Far, Far Away, if it existed at all, and most everyone grew up with this outlook.

 

It's hard to explain how very, very different times were back then. I'm 63 years old and the difference is like night and day - but some younger folks really don't understand that and have no concept that their parents did not grow up in the kind of world that they themselves grew up in.

 

So, anyway, my point is that I hope the two men can allow some patience towards their families. No, they shouldn't have to do that, but that's the reality of it. I have the feeling that if they don't push too much, and give him some time to think about it and adjust, even the one groom's rigid military father will show at least some acceptance. You can't force people to change, but you can encourage them, and try to accept them in the same way you want them to accept you. JMHO.

[Pepper Mostly]

Eh, I'm 61. I bet Chris's mother is younger than I am. Maybe because I live in a liberal east coast city or I worked in the restaurant/hotel business when I was younger, I don't know, but I always knew plenty of out gay people, as long as I can remember. It was never any kind of issue to me or people I knew. My 87 year parents aren't bothered either. I can understand maybe if people have lived in insular communities or something, but in this day and age its pretty hard not to have interactions with gay people on a regular basis. I think Chris's parents are just narrow minded. His mother's discomfort was palpable.

[okerry]

I think Chris's mom was mostly worried about what her husband would say! Either way, it's an interesting show and will at least bring about some interesting discussion.

[Pepper Mostly]

Agreed on all counts! 

[willgracefan]

Eugene has a tattoo but he doesn't eat pork? Ugh.

[Raja]

Eugene has a tattoo but he doesn't eat pork? Ugh.

Pork is well known, tattooing is a returned cultural phenomenon which now teachers have to adjust their curriculum to teach about after being ignored for decades.

[Pepper Mostly]

If Eugene is so observant why doesn't Samantha know about the dietary strictures about serving meat and dairy at the same time? I know plenty of Jewish people who enjoy bacon cheeseburgers and shrimp cocktails, but apparently Eugene is conservative and keeps kosher. Or his family does. So why is she so painfully ignorant of his religion and culture? Its supposedly so important to him that the very smell of bacon makes him want to hurl. He's never spoken to this woman, who is the mother of his child and the love of his life, about something that is the center of his spiritual life? Does he go to temple every week, observe the holidays?

 

And I agree on the tattoo. Maybe more secular Jews wouldn't be aware of, or care about, the prohibition of tattoos, but Eugene seems to be observant and traditional. Its fishy. I smell a heaping helping of producer manipulation.

[Raja]

Or tatooing was a one time thing before becoming observant, but once done could not be taken back like refusing a cheese burger

[lazylou]

So, Eugene and Samantha have been together for two years, they have a child together, and Eugene's religion is very important to him and central to his life. Yet, Samantha doesn't know that he doesn't eat bacon; indeed, that Jewish people aren't supposed to have pork? Riiiiight.

Again, I think this is FYI dramatizing something that happened at a time when they were not filming...in this case, a couple of years before!  Her ignorance of dietary laws is understandable when they first move in together...not two years later!  

[lazylou]

I am enjoying this show so far.  I don't think Engene is observant at all, but he does want his parents to accept his wife.  I think it is a mistake for the producers to suggest that Eugene is religious at all.  He probably does love his parents, though, and I can buy that he wants their acceptance.    I am deeply troubled by his parents' having apparently completely rejected their grandchild.  And all the talk about marriage being "too soon" seems ridiculous!  The white Southern dad has accepted his black grandchild and is apparently trying hard to be polite and not racist, and the Christian dad is embarrasingly ignorant about Judaism and Christianity, but again, he is trying. But these Ukrainian immigrant Jewish parents are rude...just plain rude.  The father of the one gay man who is having so much difficulty accepting his son's homosexuality and the reality of gay marriage is at least trying to be polite.  I am surprised Eugene's parents even agree to appear on the show.  How have they been persuaded to do so?  Or is thier hostility mostly acting?

[becauseIsaidso]

After searching all over for the rerun since I missed it first time around, I am seriously underwhelmed....couldn't maintain interest in even one of the couples, although the gay guys (sorry, don't recall the names) were the most 'present' and seemed un-fake and quite likeable.

 

The rest of them need to take lessons from Christian and Maria and Michael and Nina.....geez I hope there's a follow up season of that Arranged family in the works!

[Palomar]

Mar 18 2016. 10:41 am

 

I am enjoying this show so far.  I don't think Engene is observant at all, but he does want his parents to accept his wife.  I think it is a mistake for the producers to suggest that Eugene is religious at all.  He probably does love his parents, though, and I can buy that he wants their acceptance.    I am deeply troubled by his parents' having apparently completely rejected their grandchild.  And all the talk about marriage being "too soon" seems ridiculous!  The white Southern dad has accepted his black grandchild and is apparently trying hard to be polite and not racist, and the Christian dad is embarrasingly ignorant about Judaism and Christianity, but again, he is trying. But these Ukrainian immigrant Jewish parents are rude...just plain rude.  The father of the one gay man who is having so much difficulty accepting his son's homosexuality and the reality of gay marriage is at least trying to be polite.  I am surprised Eugene's parents even agree to appear on the show.  How have they been persuaded to do so?

 

 

I can't believe that the Jewish parents are not accepting of their grandson.  That alone speaks volumes. You would think they would be happy they are getting married.  The situation does not mean their son is no longer Jewish.  They are so rigid that everything has to be THEIR way and they are so superior to everyone else who doesn't think like them.  Their other son is the WORST.  Good luck with him ever finding any kind of wife with his attitude, Jewish or otherwise.

 

And the cousin Adyline (not sure of her name).  Who the hell is she to say who her cousin should marry.  She is the worst racist on this show.

 

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, I think there is potential for some of the other family members to come around.

[Pepper Mostly]

I am enjoying this show so far.  I don't think Engene is observant at all, but he does want his parents to accept his wife.  I think it is a mistake for the producers to suggest that Eugene is religious at all.  He probably does love his parents, though, and I can buy that he wants their acceptance.    I am deeply troubled by his parents' having apparently completely rejected their grandchild.  And all the talk about marriage being "too soon" seems ridiculous!  The white Southern dad has accepted his black grandchild and is apparently trying hard to be polite and not racist, and the Christian dad is embarrasingly ignorant about Judaism and Christianity, but again, he is trying. But these Ukrainian immigrant Jewish parents are rude...just plain rude.  The father of the one gay man who is having so much difficulty accepting his son's homosexuality and the reality of gay marriage is at least trying to be polite.  I am surprised Eugene's parents even agree to appear on the show.  How have they been persuaded to do so?  Or is thier hostility mostly acting?

If Eugene is not observant, why did he make such a show of being sickened by the very smell of bacon? To show him lying in bed clutching his stomach and muttering "gross. gross" when Samantha cooked bacon? Is ridiculous. Its not just the producers in that case. All he'd have to say is "I'm not as conservative as my parents, but they're old fashioned and traditional. We can't have meat and dairy at the same time when they come over." (and really, after two years they had never, ever been to their place?). Either Eugene is fake or his parents are, and my money's on Eugene. Another pair like the quad parents on Rattled who were clearly hoping for their own show. Samantha, bless her, just seems kind of dumb. Who living in the 21st century doesn't know even the most basic things about the Jewish religion? Even if she never knew any Jewish people, didn't she read Highlights as a kid?

[Lion18]

I can't believe that the Jewish parents are not accepting of their grandson. That alone speaks volumes. You would think they would be happy they are getting married. The situation does not mean their son is no longer Jewish. They are so rigid that everything has to be THEIR way and they are so superior to everyone else who doesn't think like them. Their other son is the worst

* I really get the feeling that Eygene's brother is very jealous of him. Eugene has a very pretty wife and adorable baby. I truly hope his parents' rudeness is producer driven to create drama if not, they are not nice people at all.

And the cousin Adyline (not sure of her name). Who the hell is she to say who her cousin should marry. She is the worst racist on this show.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, I think there is potential for some of the other family members to come around.

[candall]

It's interesting and ambitious to tackle these three situations.  Gay rights, and particularly same-sex marriage, were virtually unheard of not so long ago, in the historical scheme of things.  Interracial couples were criminals in many places before 1967 and Loving v. Virginia.  I think the Jewish prohibitions, with the rules about maternal lineage, have been in the interest of keeping the culture intact for millenniums.

 

So I agree that there's not necessarily automatic condemnation for the relatives expressing reservations.

 

But I'm willing to make an exception for Cousin "I don't like him because he's >skincolor<."  Wow.  Even her followup advice to "stick with your own" leaves some room for discussion, but nope:color was shocking.

 

The Jewish storyline is indeed fishy.  (Treyf!)

 

I hate that the gay couple is being asked not to kiss at their wedding ceremony.  We'll attend, but don't push it?  WTF?!?

[Pepper Mostly]

RIGHT?? My son was all "yeah don't be too gay. could you just shake hands?" Who do these people think they are? 

 

Oh, and Eugene is an expert latke maker? hahahahahaha. He looked like he'd never handled a grater before. I just cringe for those two. "Gee, I wonder if Sam will be on board with having a chuppah?" Like its so controversial. 

[JustaMinuteNow]

I had to join this forum so I could respond here.

As a black woman woman who's been married to white man for nearly 16 years, I can tell you that interracial marriage isn't difficult because of the couple, it's difficult because other people try to make it so. We were lucky because our families didn't give us a hard time and were accepting. And my husband and his family are southern. His family are also republicans, for the most part, but they try not be ignorant and they aren't stupid so that helps. Our friends were cool too. We didn't care about what strangers thought. Marriage is an adult decision and while you always care about family/friends, an adult doesn't let their lives be dictated by them. If you can't pick a spouse without your parents permission, you probably aren't mature enough for marriage. My husband and I would've married whether or not our families were onboard. They would've had to deal!

I don't believe that having a racial/faith, etc. preference for yourself makes you a bigot necessarily, but when your preferences are rules for everyone else, even family, then you are a bigot. All these families on this show are prejudiced/bigots. That's what the show's about!

[lasandi]

I know this show has to put on a show but all this jumping thru hoops to get your family to agree with your choice is driving me nuts!

[Palomar]

It is kind of amazing how Eugene's parents experienced being shunned because of their religion and know how that feels, but are doing the same thing to Samantha and even their grandchild.  She should only convert if she wants to....I doubt it will make much difference anyway.

 

The gay couple:  The one guy gets it (whose parents are against the marriage) that it is ridiculous to go into debt for their wedding. The other guy is living in a fantasy world.  No one is contributing so you have to have the wedding you can afford. You can have a wonderful wedding without all the bells and whistles.  Having an extravagant wedding does not prove anything. Why 150 people...you don't have to invite everyone you know.  Btw, is this show contributing to the weddings? 

 

Who cares if your cousin approves of your marriage!  It is her loss if she does not want to come to the wedding or accept her cousin's new husband.  It should not even be an issue.  Why should he have to explain himself. 

Edited March 30, 2016 by Palomar

[okerry]

It is kind of amazing how Eugene's parents experienced being shunned because of their religion and know how that feels, but are doing the same thing to Samantha and even their grandchild.  She should only convert if she wants to....I doubt it will make much difference anyway.

 

Excellent point. But they'll never see it that way. The way it's presented on the show, Eugene's family feels they can safely ignore the baby as "not their relation" as long as Eugene and Samantha are not married. It's as if the baby doesn't exist and I'm betting that's how the family acts around him. But if there's a marriage, the baby becomes part of the family, and so they're freaking out over having to accept a non-Jewish grandchild and are simply refusing to do so. How very, very sad. The baby is not a person, is not part of their family, if he's not Jewish. He's nothing to them even though he's their blood and looks exactly like their son, his father. Wow.

[OpalEyes]

I don't think it's fair to chastise Eugene's family for wanting their son to marry a Jew and being upset that he isn't. I think it's totally twisted around to say they left Russia because they were persecuted for their religion, so they should be open and accepting to their children marrying people of other religions. I see it the other way around- they moved from Russia so that they could be Jewish without persecution. I'm pretty sure that their burning desire of wanting their children to have the freedom to live openly as Jews did not include their children marrying "out" and in their minds, having their Jewish lineage dying off in the very next generation. From what I understand, a child is Jewish if their mother is Jewish, so it is probably killing them that their grandchild is not Jewish, especially when their Jewish identity is so defining for them and is the main reason they immigrated. I also don't think it's fair to make an assumption that Eugene's parents aren't acknowledging their grandchild. We don't know that they've done that. Even if it breaks their hearts that he isn't Jewish, for all we know they are loving grandparents. Just remember that this is a reality TV show, so this are edited for maximum dramatic effect.

I don't think it's right for Eugene to ask Samantha to convert because that is something she needs to want for herself for it to work, but I understand why he did. It really seems like out of all the couple on this show, these two did the least in making a conscious decision to be paired with one another for the long run. These big issues are the kinds of things a couple works out or breaks up over as their relationship grows, but with Eugene and Samantha getting pregnant after dating for just a month, they didn't go through that process.

[sleepyjean]

Your spiritual beliefs are a fundamental part of who you are as a person. It is really making me ill watching Eugene go around polling his family to find out if they'd be willing to accept his fiance if she converts religions. You don't change your religion to make other people happy. Especially not to make people who are prejudiced against you happy. He had a child with a woman who isn't Jewish. He isn't raising that child as Jewish. To lay this conversion trip on her is total bullcrap. I hope she doesn't do it.

[Pepper Mostly]

I completely agree! If Eugene is so devout, why does Sam not know anything about his religion? Why is their son not being raised Jewish? Or have they not had that conversation yet either? You don't change your religion like you do your shirt. He is awful and his brother is worse-what a nasty hateful little twerp.

 

And Chris' mother! My god what a bitch. To laugh in Lou's face like that, especially when he was really making an effort to not only get closer to her, but help her understand that he wasn't some "other", just a human being who loves her son, was beyond tactless, it was cruel. I don't even want to get started on that dress she bought for the wedding. Fringe? A mini dress with fringe? Was I hallucinating?

[Jobena]

I didn't noticed early but Nathan is pure grandma.

[Pepper Mostly]

Hahaha--he is! And she's never ever babysat for him before? Where do Eugene and Sam live, exactly? in a box? Separate boxes, since they apparently know nothing about each other?

 

Briana's cousin is a horrible person and I cannot understand why Briana is so slavishly devoted to her and wants her good opinion so badly. My theory is that Ashlyn terrorizes the entire family and has all her life. She's used to getting her way and is clearly gobsmacked that anyone would go against her wishes. And newsflash, dear--if someone asks you to stand up for her at her wedding, you do it if you love her, there aren't conditions on this. It has nothing to do with whether its your opinion that she isn't ready for marriage or if you approve of the groom. Do it or don't do it, but don't try and act like you care about her or her feelings, because you don't. What a nasty, selfish, self centered piece of work.

 

Ashlyn looks like an angel from heaven compared to Eugene's brother, though.

[Palomar]

Very glad to see Eugene's mom actually acting like a grandma and seeing that she does have a relationship with the baby.  I was amazed that his brother has a girlfriend. Good luck to her if she marries him.

 

Still no words for Ashlyn.  She actually thinks she can prevent the marriage just because she disapproves?  Of course Briana is the one at fault here.  She should just say, accept the marriage or see you later. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Exactly! She keeps saying that she and Ashlyn are so close!, she can't imagine the day without her!, blahblahblah, but why that unpleasant, judgmental soupuss is so important I cannot fathom.

[IvyDancer]

Without getting into all of the other glaring issues, of which there clearly are many, I truly feel that Briana is not ready for marriage because she is too immature. She already showed as much when she blindly refused to accept anything but a yes from Ashlyn, who is a holy terror, as one of you mentioned above. It is sick - she doesn't seem to have such blind devotion to her parents, the only one of which we've met thus far is her father. I also feel that her fiancé was well within his rights when he told her that what she had done for her birthday dinner was flat out wrong. I totally agreed with him and felt for him when you saw his entire demeanor change once he realized that his dinner for two on his off day would be spoiled by a visit from the Princess from Hell. 

 

I know most couples have serious issues before getting married, which is why counseling is wonderful. I still maintain that one of the best decisions my husband and I made was to get married within the church, because it forced us to confront any and all serious issues head-on and figure out ways to handle them. I know religion isn't for everyone, but I sorely wish that all couples received marital counseling before formalizing their relationships. I think it would prevent a lot of heartbreak down the line.

[Snarklepuss]

Eh, I'm 61. I bet Chris's mother is younger than I am. Maybe because I live in a liberal east coast city or I worked in the restaurant/hotel business when I was younger, I don't know, but I always knew plenty of out gay people, as long as I can remember. It was never any kind of issue to me or people I knew. My 87 year parents aren't bothered either. I can understand maybe if people have lived in insular communities or something, but in this day and age its pretty hard not to have interactions with gay people on a regular basis. I think Chris's parents are just narrow minded. His mother's discomfort was palpable.

 

I grew up in NYC, went to Greenwich Village regularly from the 60s to the 80s and I knew tons of gay people.  I definitely think it was far easier to know gay people there than in suburban or rural areas at that time, and even in many U.S. cities until relatively recently.  I realize I grew up in a socially liberal bubble of sorts.  My 88 year old Dad worked with many gay people in Chelsea and neither of my parents were ever bothered by it at all.  Today I agree with you that it's the other way around.  If people don't have interactions with gay people in their regular lives, they probably live in an insular community themselves and/or have horrible gaydar!

Edited April 9, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[lasandi]

Well I think I am done with this show. If I hear this girl say one more time that she can't see having her wedding without her cousin Ashley in it when this girl clearly says I don't like your man because of his skin color. It's not making Ashley look crazy, just ignorant, but the darn bride is acting like she is not playing with a full deck. What do you mean you can't have a wedding without your racist cousin in it? It is making me mental. If her fiancée's father was acting like her cousin, I don't think she would take that crap. This is why I believe this is scripted and producer driven. Is there a honest reality show anywhere?

I haven't seen the end of this episode so maybe things will work out in the end. I am up to the part where she blindsides her fiancé to hang with this person who dislikes him for no good reason and make nice. Oh boy, I can't.........

Edited April 9, 2016 by lasandi

[Pepper Mostly]

Oh for cryin out loud, I am beyond done with this stupid show. Eugene's brother is the biggest asshole I have ever seen on reality TV. That includes Omarosa, Russell Hantz, and Justin the loudmouth DJ from the last season of the Amazing Race. "have a backup best man ready"? Douche. And really, you expected the woman to convert the day before the wedding? If you're so devout and serious about religion wouldn't you want a prospective convert to read and study and reflect and spend time soul searching before taking such a step? Eugene's whole family sucks and if I were Sam I would run, not walk, away from such a toxic environment.

 

And Brianna? Your shit stirring cousin is getting exactly what she wants, and you have fallen for it hook, line and sinker. Sheesh.

[Palomar]

Lou = total Bridezilla!  Not a cool way to get the family to accept the marriage just when the mother was starting to come around.  Sorry but you knew you would not have help planning or paying for this wedding....why didn't you keep it a little more simple.

[TeapotWakeen]

The best part of this show are the commercials for the new season of Arranged coming in May.

The worst part? Eugene's brother, and Briana's insufferable cousin.

[Pepper Mostly]

The worst part? That we've been suckered into watching this crapfest! Sadly, this could have been a great show, its a good idea and could have explored a lot of issues and maybe opened some eyes. Instead we've got cartoon characters, hit you on the head with a hammer moments of exposition, bad acting by stupid/unlikeable people, and insults to our intelligence. Why am I such a slut for reality TV? :D

[TwirlyGirly]

JustaMinuteNow, on 23 Mar 2016 - 1:12 PM, said:JustaMinuteNow, on 23 Mar 2016 - 1:12 PM, said:JustaMinuteNow, on 23 Mar 2016 - 1:12 PM, said:

<snip> Marriage is an adult decision and while you always care about family/friends, an adult doesn't let their lives be dictated by them. If you can't pick a spouse without your parents permission, you probably aren't mature enough for marriage. My husband and I would've married whether or not our families were onboard. They would've had to deal! <snip>

 

Absolutely agree, and thank you for being the voice of reason.

 

I'm not particularly religious, but the whole "Therefore shall a man [or woman] leave his [or her] father and his [or her] mother, and shall cleave unto his [or her] wife [or husband]: and they shall be one flesh" is a very important dictum.

 

There are many reasons why parents (or other family members/friends) may not "approve" of one's choice of spouse that have nothing to do with race, religion, or sexual orientation. I think it's prudent to listen to and entertain what other people who care about you say if they have specific concerns (because sometimes a third party picks up on things someone who is "blinded by love" could be either ignoring or minimizing), but in the end, you have to have the courage of your convictions and be willing to say "Thank you for caring enough to share. I know it comes from a place of love. However, this is my decision, and while I hope you will support me, I understand if you cannot. Please know if you choose not to attend our wedding, you will be missed" and LEAVE IT AT THAT.

 

Agency goes both ways. The bride and groom have agency to marry if they so desire, but by the same token, others have agency to disapprove/refuse to attend. If you feel your ultimate happiness in the marriage is dependent upon the acceptance/approval of the marriage by anyone other than your intended spouse, you should not be getting married.

Edited April 13, 2016 by TwirlyGirly

[EverybodyIsACritic]

The worst part? That we've been suckered into watching this crapfest! Sadly, this could have been a great show, its a good idea and could have explored a lot of issues and maybe opened some eyes. Instead we've got cartoon characters, hit you on the head with a hammer moments of exposition, bad acting by stupid/unlikeable people, and insults to our intelligence. Why am I such a slut for reality TV? :D

Reality sluts unite!

[Jobena]

Oh Lou, you are a *** Drama Queen.

[EverybodyIsACritic]

Lou's Bridezilla attitude is such a huge turnoff. He is sitting at the table in the hotel FOLDING NAPKINS while having his tantrum. I'm having a hard time feeling any empathy for this crowd.

[okerry]

Lou's Bridezilla attitude is such a huge turnoff. He is sitting at the table in the hotel FOLDING NAPKINS while having his tantrum. I'm having a hard time feeling any empathy for this crowd.

Yup. He didn't have the maturity to go to his high school prom, much less get married. Hope Chris is ready for this to happen again and again and again.

[Pepper Mostly]

"I'm so STRESSED!!" This whole wedding was your choice. You could have gone to city hall in Boston and done it in 15 minutes with no fuss, no stress, no hassle. I cannot stand it when people freak all out over stressful situations of their own making. Chris is a mensch for real. 

 

Briana can take a goddamn seat too. I'm so glad this stupid show is over. All of these people are horrible and I'm glad I don't know them. Sheesh. 

[Palomar]

The way all the family members who were opposed to the marriages all turned up at the last minute (after the tension of "will they show up") makes me really think most of this show was scripted from the beginning.  If so, they sure dragged it on way too long.  Regardless, the brother making the wedding start an hour late (if true) is unforgiveable.

[Pepper Mostly]

"I will not have this wedding without my brother here!" Sigh. So everyone knew from jump that he was going to come. Way to make it all about you, Alex. Douche. Ashlynn too. And of course she wore mourning black. And really? Has anyone ever been to a wedding where the officiant says that business about anyone knowing any reason why this couple can't be married, speak now of forever hold your peace? Because I never have.

[TeapotWakeen]

I don't know if the non-Jewish bride had the patience of a saint, or is a doormat, but if my fiance held the wedding up for over an hour waiting for his damn brother, he's still be waiting at the altar for me to marry him. And, as a wedding guest sitting in the sun, if you kept me for over an hour, you'd be getting a lovely card in the mail later with a "hope the servers enjoyed my meal because oh hell no" message.

 

I'm glad the dad showed up for Lou and Chris's wedding. I'm sorry Brianna showed up for Ashlyn's wedding because I was hoping to never see that hatefilled wench on my screen again. She enjoyed the power that was given to her to disrupt the wedding... she loved it. I bet she's a very special princessy snowflake in person.

 

We objected to my husband's best friend's first marriage. Everyone did. We all said our piece, they got married anyway and we were all there to share his happiness. And we were all there when it fell apart in a spectacular fashion -- but in between there were no "I told you so!"s (and not at the end either). Because that's how you love someone who is making a mistake. They were probably married an extra 5 years because he didn't want to admit we were all right. And a beautiful young woman is probably horribly scarred because of it. She was the collateral damage of the marriage. I hope the one couple who already has a baby doesn't end up that way. I suspect as long as asshole brother is reigned in, it will be okay. How convenient was his "I'm sorry" to the bride? SMDH.

[TwirlyGirly]

TeapotWakeen, on 20 Apr 2016 - 12:29 PM, said:

<snip>

 

We objected to my husband's best friend's first marriage. Everyone did. We all said our piece, they got married anyway and we were all there to share his happiness. And we were all there when it fell apart in a spectacular fashion -- but in between there were no "I told you so!"s (and not at the end either). Because that's how you love someone who is making a mistake. They were probably married an extra 5 years because he didn't want to admit we were all right. And a beautiful young woman is probably horribly scarred because of it. She was the collateral damage of the marriage. I hope the one couple who already has a baby doesn't end up that way. I suspect as long as asshole brother is reigned in, it will be okay. How convenient was his "I'm sorry" to the bride? SMDH.

 

Exactly.

 

Every single couple gave the people in their lives who objected to their marriages WAY too much power over their decision. Once you give people power over your life, it is really hard to snatch it back. All three of the couples could have saved themselves a lot of stress and anguish along the way had they simply told these people the FIRST time they voiced their objections while they understood their feelings, the marriage would be taking place with them or without them - and if they decided not to attend the wedding, they would be missed. That should have been the end of it.

 

Even though all of the "objectors" ultimately did decide to attend, I have to wonder - at what cost? Now they know they have the power to stir things up, that their opinions can influence the couple and cause strife. Will this be the end of their meddling, or just the beginning?

 

People who can't learn to set boundaries and enforce them are usually in for a world of hurt.

[Workslame]

I haven't finished the final episode and I'm annoyed with the whole thing but Brianna getting mad that Ashlyn didn't show up to the rehearsal dinner is ridiculous because her hateful ass has made it clear since the beginning she wanted no parts of the whole thing. 

 

AND who knew there were marriage counselors on call??

[WhoAmIReally]

I binge watched this this weekend.

Thoughts (none of which are deep):

1.  Brianne(?) is a 24-year-old child marrying a much older trucker.  This may  be fine while she's a student, but once she gets a job this may prove to be a difficult relationship to keep alive, especially since she has communication issues.  I'm assuming he's gone for stretches of time?  Anyway, don't see this lasting.

2.  Ashylnn is a miserable bigoted bitch with serious issues.  Is she jealous because she basically looks like a beach ball with a head compared to her cousin?  And she hates white girls because they asked her if her hair was a weave?  If she wants true bitchery, she should hang out with sorority chicks. 

3.  Samantha is a saint.  Their love seems solid. 

4.  Lou is a whiny, selfish, nasty little bridezilla drama-queen.  His rudeness was inexcusable and the wedding was aesthetically atrocious.  I give that marriage zero chance of survival.

I think that is all.  It was pretty boring.  The only one I really grew to like was the Jewish mother when she said she fell in love with the grandson and her whole manner changed from then on.