Online Dating: Swiping Right Or Left?

[emma675]

Agree, either block him or just don't respond at all. This guy is showing you his true colors and not respecting you or your boundaries at all. It is all on him. The fact that he didn't immediately apologize and then followed up with "it's just a question" just galls me. What a jerk.  You deserve better, aradia!

[ari333]

2 hours ago, emma675 said:

Agree, either block him or just don't respond at all. This guy is showing you his true colors and not respecting you or your boundaries at all. It is all on him. The fact that he didn't immediately apologize and then followed up with "it's just a question" just galls me. What a jerk.  You deserve better, aradia!

It galls me too. The very idea. It is not his business who anyone "fucks" or doesn't.

[Lantern7]

Still keeping in touch with the woman from OKC. Don't know if she's feeling the spark. Got a message from another lady I messaged, whose profile sang out to me. Turns out she has huge issues (I can't specify), and she was looking for somebody in a similar situation. Dang. Then again, I took that better than the parking ticket I got last week. I'll look some more later.

[JTMacc99]

23 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

she has huge issues

LOL. Been there. Keep moving my friend. 

Which sounds like what you are doing.  Hang in there. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

[theredhead77]

1 hour ago, JTMacc99 said:

LOL. Been there. Keep moving my friend. 

Which sounds like what you are doing.  Hang in there. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

If that's the case, why am I so tired?

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

If that's the case, why am I so tired?

Because there is a lot of running. A lot. 

[theredhead77]

21 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

Because there is a lot of running. A lot. 

[aradia22]

Quote

I thought life was fine
Then I saw you online.
So I've messaged you,
It was all I could do.
Where do we start?
Your smile, your eyes, your heart?
Well I'm just your average guy,
but I couldn't pass you by.
I'm looking for a chance on you.
Do you think you could like me too?
Please don't leave me waiting
Give this poem a decent rating
and tell me what this could be.
This is my Cupid's plea.

It happened. I got another poem. Oh, filtered messages... I'm not replying. Everything else aside, he's in Bombay. End of conversation.

[ari333]

22 minutes ago, aradia22 said:

It happened. I got another poem. Oh, filtered messages... I'm not replying. Everything else aside, he's in Bombay. End of conversation.

Maybe it's a little cornball for Americans. But it is not repulsive imo.

When I was on Match back in the day, I found that Arabs and Indians (in those countries, not here necessarily as much) were very sentimental and romantic and poetic. I gathered that it was a thing. Maybe it was just my isolated experience.  I hope that didn't sound racist. I didn't mean it to be. It was kind of sweet. (back then)

He is too far away. I agree. (even if you liked him - which I got the impression that you didn't )

Don't give up, Aradia22. Good things happen when you least expect them sometimes. :-)

I'm a doofus. What do you mean by filtered messages? I feel like I'm missing something.

[aradia22]

Quote

He is too far away. I agree. (even if you liked him - which I got the impression that you didn't )

Don't give up, Aradia22. Good things happen when you least expect them sometimes. :-)

I'm a doofus. What do you mean by filtered messages? I feel like I'm missing something.

I've gotten poems from Americans too. I file it under probably "nice guy." Maybe I'd feel differently if they were any good. 

But yes, for a while I was open to talking to people farther away in a pen pal-ish way... the same way I hoped to maybe find some new female friends. But I've learned that neither of those things is what people go to okc for regardless of whether they check the friends box so I've mostly stopped engaging if people are too far away. (I make an exception if they speak French sometimes just to practice a little.)

Thanks :) Things have been slow lately. But I'm not in the mood to take a new photo and the other trick... backing off from the site for a while, is beyond me right now.

You can filter messages by a few criteria. I choose age and match %. It's like creating an email filter so things automatically go to a spam folder. 

[ari333]

Thanks Aradia22. NOw I know what filtering is :-)

Back when I was online dating, I recall being frustrated with the site questions in that as I recall there were multiple choice answers and at times none of them really fit my answer. I kind of hated it. Just for example, I'm not a smoker, but if I fell madly in love with a smoker, the smoking would not necessarily  be a deal breaker. That's not a great example, but the only one I can come up with at the moment.

Other times, I had the feeling that I did not need to "match" someone in that sometimes opposites do attract. It just depends. It was all so exhausting.

I was open minded, but holy shit I had some duds. One dude was much much younger than he said. He asked that I pick him up. (ugg) and we went for a cheap coffee at a bookstore and he rambled on about himself and did not ask anything about me to get to know me. First "date"  - last date. The worst one is the one I already mentioned... the titty bar drunk guy.  Oh, yeah and there was the dude who tried to touch me and feed me with his fingers in a restaurant eww.

[aradia22]

I find the match % a nice, quick barometer. If someone is otherwise appealing to me, attractive in photos, engaging profile... I'll go investigate a low or middling match %. Sometimes it's as simple as not answering a lot of questions. But often I come back with 1) religious... this is usually the top choice 2) looking for a sexual relationship 3) more conservative values... anything from iffy gender stuff to homophobia 4) just seems like a poor match... smoker, hates reading, doesn't like talking politics, etc. 

For me, it's right more often than it's wrong, though if someone bothers to send me a real message I might investigate in spite of a low match %.

[aradia22]

Quote

Meanwhile my original Date has resurfaced after he cancelled and is still interested in meeting up at some point, but the prospect of going on what original Date himself refers to as a "date" seems so weird to me, because I am obviously kind of interested in this other dude, even though it's not like we're dating-dating (yet).

I know, somebody mentioned dating was a numbers game and that it's not uncommon for people to go on dates with different people before they actually start committing to dating one person, but I'm not sure I am comfortable with that concept, because I want to give everyone my full attention and also don't want to give out a wrong impression. Not knowing what other people's expectations are makes that a little bit difficult, because it feels like you can easily lead them on, which I don't want to do, because hey, I matched with these guys and talked to these guys, because I am genuinely interested in them as people (and thereby not just as potential lovers).

However, I'm still kind of interested in how other people navigate this whole dating world. Like, if you're in the early phase of getting to know people, how honest are you with them about seeing/being interested in other people (admitting it feels kind of like making any potential relationships implode from the get-go) ? Or if you feel like you are interested in someone more than in the others, do you shut down conversations with the others, even though you're not really dating yet?  Also, how and when do you know if you want to get more serious with someone.

First of all, I'm happy you're having some luck making connections already and you met you like. Congratulations. 

Before anything else, my advice is do whatever you feel comfortable with. If you only want to see one person at a time, do that. 

I'm a numbers game girl but it's not like I'm making out with everyone I go out with. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I'm just open to meeting people and seeing what happens. Unless you're in a committed relationship, I think it's good to keep things open. Especially if you haven't dated a lot, going out with different people can help you figure out what it is that you do and do not want in a partner and how you want to be treated. 

I've never had the experience of a guy getting jealous but personally I'd rather not bother with it. I pretty much always answer direct questions. But if I'm just talking about my week or if someone asks me to make plans and I can't, I usually say I'm seeing a "friend." Again, you can be as honest as you want about seeing other people. I don't bring it up unless someone asks. 

[theredhead77]

If you've only gone out with the guy once and you have no immediate plans to see each other again you should assume you won't see him again and go out with the other guy. It's just dinner.

[possibilities]

If you're looking for a relationship and not a hook up, is there a way to say so in your profile? I'm not sure Tinder is really the best place to find people looking for that. I'm the same way-- looking for a relationship, not a hook up, so I'm sympathetic. But I think you need to say what you're looking for. It will reduce the number of responses, but they'll be less stressful for you if you have already established that you're not looking to be "moved on really fast."

[Lantern7]

Got a message from the lady at OKC. She spent St. Patrick's Day with a friend, and "she's going to help me find a man." That's not a good sign for me, is it? I mean, she didn't say anything about closing the door or a lack of spark, but the implication is there.

[theredhead77]

37 minutes ago, Lantern7 said:

Got a message from the lady at OKC. She spent St. Patrick's Day with a friend, and "she's going to help me find a man." That's not a good sign for me, is it? I mean, she didn't say anything about closing the door or a lack of spark, but the implication is there.

It's totally none of my business but I'm confused about the above and why a woman you are messaging with on OKC is going to help you find a man. 

[Lantern7]

@theredhead77 No, that is what the prospective girlfriend wrote: that she hung out with her friend, and that this friend was going to help her.

[theredhead77]

32 minutes ago, Lantern7 said:

@theredhead77 No, that is what the prospective girlfriend wrote: that she hung out with her friend, and that this friend was going to help her.

Gotcha and no, that doesn't bode well for you. That sucks :(

[JTMacc99]

39 minutes ago, nosleepforme said:

Sounds like you have been friend-zoned. Such a weird thing to write to some on OKC though.

Too early to be friend zoned. Maybe reply with a "Well then, I will submit myself to a series of tests by this friend, as a I am supremely confident I will pass the 'is a man' test."

[Lantern7]

I don't know if I would pass. I'd explain why, but it's a little embarrassing. Also, I tend to focus on the negative. My original plan would be to go, "You're not having much luck, either?" without saying "You can be my participation trophy if I can be yours." At this point, I'm a dog in a (no kill) shelter; I'd be happy to go with somebody nice.

[JTMacc99]

4 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Also, I tend to focus on the negative.

Try not to do that. (Easier said than done, but good advice regardless.)

 

As for optimism, I've got a coffee date lined up on Wednesday. This is somebody I had struck up a conversation with about six months ago, and then because both of us had other things going on, never got together even though we had a place and time picked out. We reconnected over the weekend. I'm looking forward to meeting her in person. She gives me a vibe that we'll have interesting conversations and that I'll enjoy her company. I'm still in a place of just meeting new people, seeing what's out there, playing it by ear. 

Also: She's a looker. All of them have been recently, last year's first attempt at dating, this year's wicked smart and funny one whom I'm getting together with on Saturday, and now this one. What's that all about? I turned into a middle aged man and NOW the pretty ones find me interesting. Actually, I know exactly what that's all about. I turned into a middle aged man who knows exactly who he is and what he has to offer, and suddenly I'm giving off a sense of self confidence that didn't used to be there. Could have used that bit of information when I was in college.

[DeLurker]

The women have managed to learn a bit in that same time frame - they've got a better idea of who they want to spend their time & energy on.   It becomes much less about meeting expectations of family, friends, society and our own youthful misconceptions.

[JTMacc99]

23 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

The women have managed to learn a bit in that same time frame - they've got a better idea of who they want to spend their time & energy on.   It becomes much less about meeting expectations of family, friends, society and our own youthful misconceptions.

So what you're saying is that I'm still the same schlub, it's just that women wised up that my kind of schlub isn't that bad after all?  Heh.  Fair enough.  (j/k)

Edited March 20, 2017 by JTMacc99

[aradia22]

@Lantern7 I agree it's a weird thing to bring up if she sees you as a romantic prospect. But I wouldn't obsess over it. I'd take the advice of some of the others and make a little joke out of it to test the waters. If you ask if you're still in the running and she gives you some assurances, then maybe she just didn't think about how it would sound to you. It's fair to think that some people have chosen online dating because they're not the most socially adept. If she politely shuts you down, then you have your answer.

@JTMacc99 I think there's still a substantial pool of people out there in their 40's and upwards who either never married or were in serious relationships that didn't work out/ended. It stands to reason there would be some attractive people in that group. And with the rise of online dating, they're people you likely wouldn't have encountered in your younger days. They were already attached or they were out meeting people in person because there weren't sites available/there was stigma or they just lived different lives where you never would have encountered each other. Maybe some of these women would have been interested in you before but you never crossed paths or they would never have said anything. Imagine you see an attractive person on the subway. You don't start chatting them up (usually) unless you're a creeper. 

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, aradia22 said:

Maybe some of these women would have been interested in you before but you never crossed paths or they would never have said anything.

It's also very likely that back in my college and into my twenties that I wouldn't have said anything, let alone them saying anything to me. With age has come self confidence. I've always known that was important, but it's not something I could ever figure out how to fake.  

And yes, online dating has an interesting impact on this particular part of the process. I am not casting a very wide net. I've got a very specific set of requirements about whether or not I think I'll be able to carry on a conversation at the level I require, and then I tack on that I have to think the person is attractive.  It's not a big group. And then on my side I am right up front with my deal, stating that I'm separated before putting down whatever bullet points I choose to make about the good stuff about me.  So needless to say, I don't get a lot of matches. And I'm okay with that, as long as the ones I do get make sense exploring.

[theredhead77]

On 3/22/2017 at 2:47 PM, nosleepforme said:

Anyway, I thought about deleting all the apps now to just focus on getting to know the few guys I actually exchanged numbers with. I feel confident with them - not necessarily in a romantic kind of way, but at least in a "might be fun to get to know them"-kind of way.

Don't delete them. Stop using them, but don't delete them until you are getting serious. They are a huge pain in the ass to recreate when something promising goes sideways (and not in that sexy way).

I on the other hand, am over OKC, Tinder and Bumble. No matches, no communication, no nothing beyond "there are no matches in your area" because I've gone through them already. I give up. I'm going to get a few more cats and call it a life.

[roseslg]

You can deactivate your profile and then reactivate it, but don't delete.  Re-activating always seemed to bring new matches, so that's good to do, you show up in newer searches when you do so. 

 

Nah, some of those people who copy and paste the same message to everyone doesn't merit a response.  I used to get the same copy and pasted message from the same guy every couple of months.  

 

I had the cat idea for a while, although I don't like cats.  I wasn't expecting to ever find someone after trying online dating for about 7 years or so.  I did meet my husband on OKC and we have the cutest toddler.  While I was online dating on and off for years, he was only on for less than a month.  There's no rhyme or reason to any of this.  

[JTMacc99]

13 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I give up. I'm going to get a few more cats and call it a life.

Don't you dare because...

35 minutes ago, roseslg said:

There's no rhyme or reason to any of this.

Is the absolute truth.  

Look at me. I'm going to a high school musical production of Ciderella this Saturday with somebody I met on Tinder. I had that stupid app on for no more than a day just to look around and then turn it back off again when she popped up.  As my friends said when he found out what she does for a living, he said "She's a fucking brain surgeon?!" Not exactly, but close enough. 

And I'm a mess and yet still found somebody worth exploring spending some time together.  I believe it was @aradia22 who said it was a numbers game, and it was me who relayed "it's a marathon, not a sprint" from a conversation I had with another genuine genius I met on Bumble. (FYI, I just misspelled genius.)

So hang in there like the famous cat poster. Who knows when the stars will align.

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, southpaw said:

Ooh, is that the story of the motherless waif who is forced to clean out the vats in her father's brewery while her schnapps-sisters drink up all the inventory?

Yep, but as a musical!

[aradia22]

Is it the Rodgers and Hammerstein version? I adore that one. Sorry, I know, off topic... but I think that's an adorable date. That music... especially the waltz and the songs around the ball, they just reach into me where that sappy romantic is squeeing her head off. 

[theredhead77]

I've been doing this for years. I'm 99.9% sure my destiny is to be single for the rest of my life. My last LTR was over 15 years ago, and a year of that was when he was deployed. Literally every person I date ends up in a serious relationship, usually married, after dating me. And for some reason my friends are willing to set up their friends with other friends but never ever with me.

[JTMacc99]

On 3/24/2017 at 6:10 PM, aradia22 said:

Is it the Rodgers and Hammerstein version? I adore that one. Sorry, I know, off topic... but I think that's an adorable date. That music... especially the waltz and the songs around the ball, they just reach into me where that sappy romantic is squeeing her head off. 

Yes it was! It was fun, and cute, and since we brought our daughters with us, we got to enjoy their reactions as well. And the high school really went all out with the costumes and the set, and the kids were great. 

And then we stopped for ice cream after the show and chatted for a few while the girls amused themselves.  As is what you do sometimes when you are in the world we are currently operating. 

Edited March 26, 2017 by JTMacc99

[KnoxForPres]

On 3/24/2017 at 9:30 PM, theredhead77 said:

I've been doing this for years. I'm 99.9% sure my destiny is to be single for the rest of my life. My last LTR was over 15 years ago, and a year of that was when he was deployed. Literally every person I date ends up in a serious relationship, usually married, after dating me. And for some reason my friends are willing to set up their friends with other friends but never ever with me.

Are your friends aware that you're open to the idea?  If not, let them know!  Sometimes, even our closest comrades, have ideas about us that aren't the reality.  I'd throw out a "share the wealth please!" next time you hear of a setup. 

That is ok they have gone into serious relationships and/or marriage.  That's not a statement on you.  That just means you weren't to be for whatever reason.  

I'm 37 never married/no kids.  I've dated a lot and at 36 met a guy at a local bar that does amazing drink deals on game day.  I didn't expect it- I was going there with a guy (friend) who needed a break and was having a tough time in life.  He's physically the polar opposite had you pressed me to describe a type.  But the attraction was there and I now know at 37 I never knew how good a relationship could be until I met him.  

I don't say that to be the smug asshole who is happy (and I've lived long enough to know this could all change on a dime).  I say that as a first hand story of each day you wake up we have no idea what our future brings!  Had I said, "ah man, it's Sunday and I'm comfortable in elastic pants and watching ID why should I go hang with my sad friend", my life would be different today.  

Say yes to all invitations no matter how small or great and see where it takes you.  Smile at strangers who look intriguing.  Life can surely be equally cruel and amazing but stepping forward and thinking "why the fuck not" has sometimes been the best card played.

[ari333]

58 minutes ago, KnoxForPres said:

Are your friends aware that you're open to the idea?  If not, let them know!  Sometimes, even our closest comrades, have ideas about us that aren't the reality.  I'd throw out a "share the wealth please!" next time you hear of a setup. 

That is ok they have gone into serious relationships and/or marriage.  That's not a statement on you.  That just means you weren't to be for whatever reason.  

I'm 37 never married/no kids.  I've dated a lot and at 36 met a guy at a local bar that does amazing drink deals on game day.  I didn't expect it- I was going there with a guy (friend) who needed a break and was having a tough time in life.  He's physically the polar opposite had you pressed me to describe a type.  But the attraction was there and I now know at 37 I never knew how good a relationship could be until I met him.  

I don't say that to be the smug asshole who is happy (and I've lived long enough to know this could all change on a dime).  I say that as a first hand story of each day you wake up we have no idea what our future brings!  Had I said, "ah man, it's Sunday and I'm comfortable in elastic pants and watching ID why should I go hang with my sad friend", my life would be different today.  

Say yes to all invitations no matter how small or great and see where it takes you.  Smile at strangers who look intriguing.  Life can surely be equally cruel and amazing but stepping forward and thinking "why the fuck not" has sometimes been the best card played.

THIS ^^^^

[theredhead77]

1 hour ago, KnoxForPres said:

Are your friends aware that you're open to the idea?  If not, let them know!  Sometimes, even our closest comrades, have ideas about us that aren't the reality.  I'd throw out a "share the wealth please!" next time you hear of a setup.

Yea, they know. There was one person [a cruel mean girl who has since been ostracized] who would set women up with the men she knew I liked. 

I go out, I talk to people, I don't run screaming when a guy talks to me. I joined a couple Meet-Ups too. I feel so defeated.

[roseslg]

@theredhead77, that person sounds like an asshole.  Take a break then come back to it.  I took many, many, many breaks over the years.  Lack of response or anything much happening would often get me sad and depressed.  I also did as much I could possibly do.  Didn't happen until I was 35.   I don't know if you watch SATC, but I knew what Charlotte meant when she said even her hair was tired (from all the dating).  

 

Hang in there!

[DeLurker]

@KnoxForPres - So nice to hear that you met someone! 

And I second her advice.

For me, whenever I wanted to meet someone, I either came up zero or only met guys who weren't a good fit.  The optimal time for me?  When I wasn't looking and just enjoying myself and being with my friends.  Being indifferent to the fact that I was single (still), seemed to send out a signal to the universe that I was ready to meet someone.  It made no sense...

[JTMacc99]

Heh, heh, heh.  Applies to men as well.

[aradia22]

https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-8-personalities-youll-meet-when-dating-in-the-u-s-9d87a5a40274

[DeLurker]

37 minutes ago, nosleepforme said:

I don't want to end up in a love triangle where I'm torn between two ridiculously handsome guys.

Oh woe is me! 

Joking aside, as you get to know them both better, one will have some qualities that are more appealing or less appealing which will probably make the decision for you.

Not a guy, gay or otherwise, so I'm not sure how big of a deal it is.  If they get the drinks, sat thank you and I'll get it next time (if you want to see them again).  If you would feel more comfortable paying, say "please let me and you can get it next time".

[aradia22]

Quote

Last week I went out with the guy I was initially supposed to go on a date with a couple of weeks ago and it was actually a pretty good night. There was a comfort zone immediately and we talked for quite a while. He's also much prettier in person and quite charming. But I also have a third date lined up with the guy I have been focusing all my energy on throughout the last few weeks. I like them both, so I feel kind of uncomfortable, especially since I am not familiar with that kind of situation. It's kind of silly to worry about anything, because it's far too early to even think about the possibility of "dating-dating" either of them, but it does still feel kind of weird and I might need more advice on how to behave later on. I might watch too much television, but I don't want to end up in a love triangle where I'm torn between two ridiculously handsome guys.

Aw, I'm glad things are going well. I can't say I've really had that problem. I usually like one person more. My general advice is keep dating them both as long as you can be fully invested in the person you're with at the moment. As long as you're giving them your undivided attention on the date, I think that's fine. And feel free to ask for advice later. 

Quote

By the way, for the gay guys here, what's the traditional payment rule on dates? Both guys payed for my drinks before I even had a chance to grab my wallet, which is kind of nice, but it also aggravated me. When I went to a different place with my last date, I then made a move to pay, but he was like protesting and then ended up paying for the drink after that. I guess it's normal for gay guys to battle it out on who will pay for whom?

Also not gay or a guy but I will share some conventional wisdom. The person who pays usually... makes more money and/or is the one who asked the other person out and/or is the one who picked the date and/or is older. If you have some strong feelings about this, I would bring it up. You could do it casually and say "oh, no, you got the bill last time. Let me take me care of it." Or, you could talk more seriously about it. Money stuff can be important for couples so you want to get things established early on. 

[aradia22]

I dipped into my filtered messages again. He no longer has an account.

Quote

You don't appear to be the type who wears nail polish, but I like the shades you have on in several of your photos - they look very nice on you! 

Thanks for your time and enjoy the start to your week

I am totally the type who wears nail polish. I have a blog for it. But as far as random compliments go this has to be the least skeevy one I've ever received... assuming it's not some kind of hand fetish. It was a nice way to start off the day. 

[JTMacc99]

As I've explained here before, I'm in no big hurry to date a bunch. I set my standards impossibly high, because why not? I've met one terrific person so far, and we chat frequently but our lives have us keeping it a nice and light connection. 

I recently connected with another pretty brainiac through Bumble. Totally impractical connection since she's in Manhattan, but it's nice to talk to people.  And at the moment I am debating whether or not to go ahead and like a new person. She seems to be a very interesting person who is also well outside of my comfort zone. Given that Tinder tends to put the people who liked you up front, and this person is the first one popping up for me every time I turn it on, I need to make a choice here so I can go back to entertaining myself with this app by going No, No, God No, Hot but No, and so on.

[JTMacc99]

Heh. I showed her photos to a friend and she said, "She looks like... fun. And she likes to work out, and the beach. And holy tattoo!"  

So still in my smart and attractive wheelhouse, but not with my typical low key style.  

[theredhead77]

3 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Heh. I showed her photos to a friend and she said, "She looks like... fun. And she likes to work out, and the beach. And holy tattoo!"  

So still in my smart and attractive wheelhouse, but not with my typical low key style.  

What's the worse that can happen if you swipe right on your phone?

[JTMacc99]

9 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

What's the worse that can happen if you swipe right on your phone?

That's kind of where my brain ended up.  Nothing to report.  

[DeLurker]

@nosleepforme - I'm glad you have gotten more relaxed about the dating.  I'm sure that not having the second dialogue going on internally while on a date helps and it is very reassuring to me (as a parent with kids in the dating age range) to hear you talk about comfort zone, boundaries and respect being relevant still. 

3 hours ago, nosleepforme said:

So, this is actually a great compliment, because it's more about complimenting your chosen style than your naturally-given looks.

Awesome point!  My first thought went to "what fetish is this?", but you provided a different perspective.

[aradia22]

Quote

Though I also noticed that our conversation doesn't come quite as easily and I don't know why, whether it's a language barrier, whether it's that he's more cultured and that he has more experience than I have or whether it's just that we both come from different cultures, whether it's me being too reserved, but there seems to be a small barrier.

Could you explain this part a bit more?

Quote

Awesome point!  My first thought went to "what fetish is this?", but you provided a different perspective.

Haha. We're totally on the same page. 

[theredhead77]

I've been experiencing a lot of random Tinder unmatching in the middle of conversations. On Wed night I matched, we said our "hi"s and then I went to bed. I saw he responded and went to reply last night there was no more message or match. This has been happening quite a bit. Is it me or is it Tinder?