One is the Loneliest Number: Unpopular GG Opinions

[HeySandyStrange]

 

On another note, I'm not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but does anyone else think they tried too hard to make Anna and April too similar to Lorelai and Rory (respectively).

 

Oh most definitely, Anna and April were the less charming clones of Lorelai and Rory. I would probably chalk that up to lazy writing tricks, which I guess is easier then creating completely new characters. The only real difference was that April was more serious and into science then Rory, and Anna was a colder, less likable version of Lorelai. It would have been interesting if Anna was, say, an outdoorsy or active person and maybe April was a creative girly-girl or a tomboy. But, in my possibly unpopular opinion, that was one of the shows biggest weaknesses: Any character that wasn't one of the Gilmore's or closely associated with them (Luke & Sookie, for example) was usually flat and/or underwritten.

[dustylil]

I think Lorelai was - in her own way - fond of her parents. To be sure, they would never be as close or as affectionate as the Waltons - the Dragonfly Inn notwithstanding ;)

 But beneath all the hurt and prickly pride, she did try to demonstrate her love for them. Buying Emily the DVD player and the array of DVD musicals when she thought her mother was lonely with Richard doing so much business travelling. Helping Richard set up and organize his office when he went into business for himself. Ending her relationship with Jason when he decided to sue Richard. Trying to calm Emily down  numerous times when she was upset - at Richard for paying little attention to her, at Trix for treating her like the help, and even at Rory when she left the senior Gilmore home without a word.

[solotrek]

The single mom raising precocious daughter aside, I don't really see the similarities. Good student aside, Rory was a humanities person and April seemed more STEM. April was also incredibly outgoing and talkative and also participated in things like swim team, whatever that trip she was on was, and that summer program. Rory was definitely more demure and didn't really participate in much.

[Aloeonatable]

 

To me, she didn't just leave, she burned her bridges and seriously hurt her parents in ways I don't think she totally understood.  It felt somewhat like she was being punitive.

 

I got the feeling that she felt she had no choice. She couldn't discuss leaving because she knew her mother and father would object and probably keep it from happening. She must have been miserable and fearful of Rory growing up with the same restrictions and expectations that she had. The only way she could make it work was to create boundaries. Yes, we don't really know what was the final straw, but to Lorelai is was necessary to get out and create a life for Rory and herself.

[dustylil]

solotrek I agree with you that there were not many similarities between the two sets of single moms and their daughters. However, I would respectfully disagree that Rory didn't participate much in activities.

It was mentioned on numerous occasions that both Lorelai and Rory took  part in Stars Hollow charitable and community events. At school Rory was active with the school newspaper and in student government. She also attended ia several week long summer program in Washington that allowed high school students to study government and meet elected officials - as well as permitting Paris to stalk and torment said government representatives.

[txhorns79]

Rory was definitely more demure and didn't really participate in much.

 

I would agree to a point.  I remember that she only was in student government because Paris  insisted that they had to run together, not because Rory wanted to do it.  And obviously, Rory's lack of socializing with the other kids at Chilton was a plot point in an episode.  But yeah, aside from newspaper, Rory was not really someone interested in school activities.       

 

 

I got the feeling that she felt she had no choice.

 

She may have felt that way.  I think as I've gotten older, her actions just seem less brave and more irresponsible than anything else.    

[Nanrad]

I think my main point was that it wasn't clear what Emily and Richard had done to deserve Lorelai's running away and cutting them off.  I thought that was an underlying weakness to the premise that the show kind of glossed over.  If it isn't clear as to what you may have done wrong as a parent, or if you honestly believe you didn't do anything wrong, it is isn't necessarily clear what you would be re-examining and trying to change.  As to "moving on" from what Lorelai had done, I doubt they would be able to do that.  It would have been pretty traumatic an event.   

Personally, it was clear for me. As much as I overall enjoy Emily and Richard, the pressures and some of the remarks geared towards Lorelai that is a reference to the past or even present, seems to be a sample size of what she had to go through. Lorelai can be a smarts, but think about her reaction when her parents deliver cutting remarks, she becomes childlike. i can't image her developing that characteristics AFTER she ran away, so that says to me that she had to experience that quite a few times growing up as well as being unable to escape them. She just had to deal with them and their demands. 

 

When she got pregnant, they were trying to force her and Christopher to marry, which isn't the worst thing in the world, but think about who Lorelai is and who she may have been. It was the worst thing in the world because it traps her in a life that she constantly rebelled against and she didn't want her little girl to grow up in that world. It's not about what Richard and Emily deserved, but Lorelai being able to control her life and breath for the first time as well as giving Rory more control over her life than Lorelai had over her own growing up. No excessive demands or expectations. We can say her running away was cruel, but even if they didn't have a full fledged relationship with Rory, they did know her.

 

Well, Lorelai got pregnant, had a kid, and ran away. She was alive and unharmed and eventually raised a good daughter. Even if they held unto a few hard feelings, I think they should've dealt with her leaving better than they did years later. If they wanted answers, they should've asked. There is a lot of talk about Lorelai not understanding her parents, but I think they didn't put much effort in understanding her as well.

 

I would have no issue with Lorelai making that choice to live her own life.  My issue is the way she went about it.  To me, she didn't just leave, she burned her bridges and seriously hurt her parents in ways I don't think she totally understood.  It felt somewhat like she was being punitive.       

I think this is a two way street. Both the parents and the child constantly hurt one another. But, it's difficult for me to prioritize their pain over hers because, more times than not, teen parents don't run away from their parents and live in a shed unless the relationship has deteriorated from the point of no return. I don't think she tried to hurt them by leaving, I think she left the way she did because they weren't just going to let her leave. 

 

I actually would disagree with the statements made about Emily and Richard not being proud of Lorelai. I think we actually saw the opposite very early on. When Lorelai graduated from Business school, both her parents were there, Emily wanted it all on video and we even saw Emily crying there. They were present at the opening of the Inn, Emily tries to have events at the Inn, Richard helps her with her insurance there.... To me, those things may seem small, but Emily and Richard aren't the best with expressing emotions so it's the little things they do that really count and how they show that they really were proud of her.

I think that's the issue: Lorelai had difficulty seeing that they were proud of her because of their critical, biting comments about her life on other occasions. It's conflicting as well. 

 

I think Lorelai was - in her own way - fond of her parents. To be sure, they would never be as close or as affectionate as the Waltons - the Dragonfly Inn notwithstanding ;)

 But beneath all the hurt and prickly pride, she did try to demonstrate her love for them. Buying Emily the DVD player and the array of DVD musicals when she thought her mother was lonely with Richard doing so much business travelling. Helping Richard set up and organize his office when he went into business for himself. Ending her relationship with Jason when he decided to sue Richard. Trying to calm Emily down  numerous times when she was upset - at Richard for paying little attention to her, at Trix for treating her like the help, and even at Rory when she left the senior Gilmore home without a word.

Lorelei did try with them. Sometimes she was childish, but other times she'd put her ego ago and tried to enjoy time with her parents. There are times where it worked out while and there are other times where they made her feel horribly. I'm not saying they did it intentionally, but it seems as if no good deed went unpunished. 

 

solotrek I agree with you that there were not many similarities between the two sets of single moms and their daughters. However, I would respectfully disagree that Rory didn't participate much in activities.

It was mentioned on numerous occasions that both Lorelai and Rory took  part in Stars Hollow charitable and community events. At school Rory was active with the school newspaper and in student government. She also attended ia several week long summer program in Washington that allowed high school students to study government and meet elected officials - as well as permitting Paris to stalk and torment said government representatives.

Rory was mostly active with those she knew and struggled in new environments. The head master told her that she had to get involved and she eventually realized that good grades weren't enough for Harvard. April seems naturally outgoing.

[dustylil]

On a related matter, I  never could figure out why Rory's community activities in Stars Hollow counted for little in getting into an Ivy League university  but Paris' Habitat for Humanity efforts (and similar good works) were deemed significant. Surely testaments from a range of officials from home town charities outlining years of service would carry considerable weight.

Or am I misunderstanding how the process work? To count, do the charities have to have a particular cachet or name brand?

(I am not referring to some smartypants curing a vile disease or negotiating an international treaty at the age of twelve. Just regular brainiacs wanting to get into an elite college)

[txhorns79]

Or am I misunderstanding how the process work? To count, do the charities have to have a particular cachet or name brand?

 

It's not really a matter of what "counts."  She would still include any volunteering done for Stars Hollow on her application.  The only real difference is that people know Habitat for Humanity, know what it does and know what a student would have been doing for them when they include it on a college application.  It's natural that someone reading an application would then give more weight to Rory volunteering on behalf of a nationally known organization (i.e. something they had heard of), than her mentioning she took part in a dance contest in town, or participated in a clothing drive.           

 

 

If they wanted answers, they should've asked.

 

Richard did ask.  In Christopher Returns, Richard asked Lorelai what he and Emily had done to deserve Lorelai running away and cutting them off.   Lorelai gave a non-responsive answer.   

Edited March 11, 2015 by txhorns79

[readster]

 I always saw Anna and April to be the anti-Lorelai and anti-Rory. As said by others, Anna was what Lorelai wasn't. While we have said several times that Lorelai wanted Rory all to herself growing up. It was more that Anna wanted April to be her life and her family regardless. I mean she didn't tell the father of her child thinking he wouldn't step up (which made no sense given Luke's history). We know her dad died young but both her parents knew of April, were good grandparents from April's and Anna's words. Also, Anna did have more realistic raising of April allowing April to want to be herself. Encouraged her outgoing personality and quirks. Not that Lorelai didn't with Rory but at the same time. Rory was not as outgoing in school outside her comfort zone even with the years of working on events in Stars Hollow. The problem was, it was Anna's set of rules with everything. Even how April came up with her science project to discover who her dad was. Anna knew exactly who her father was but was: "Well, its your science project so here is a list of 3 guys I slept with in the time you were conceived." When it was more: "Sorry April, I know exactly who your father is. I don't think much of him, so find a new experiment." April seeks out Luke and a few months later: "He's a great dad!" "Why did you think he was a loser?" April was good for Luke in the long run but Anna wasn't a character, she was suppose to be a story plot and the anti-Lorelai to ruin Luke and Lorelai's relationship, it was even stated by ASP that it was the wrench in their relationship and always was planned on. In the end, I was more happy with what type of character they made April into and not the trainwreck that was Anna.

[Kohola3]

Or am I misunderstanding how the process work?

 

While Rory was supposedly active in town events, we really didn't see much of that. I believe that they want the applicant to have done something that are actually of benefit to a person or group. Habitat for Humanity certainly qualifies as does hospital volunteer work, sending care packages to troops, collecting stuffed animals for hospitals, etc.

 

I'm not sure if Ice Cream Queen and ticket taker at the Fall Festival would look like much to an Ivy League school.

[solotrek]

Or am I misunderstanding how the process work? To count, do the charities have to have a particular cachet or name brand?

 

It's one thing to build houses with Habitat or work in a soup kitchen, it's another to sit at a desk and gab with your best friend while taking donations or making a picnic basket to go eat with your SO.  If the Stars Hollow events were more hands on - ie actually working as a town to fix the bridge it'd be a different story.

[txhorns79]

I'm not sure if Ice Cream Queen and ticket taker at the Fall Festival would look like much to an Ivy League school.

 

I think she was Ice Cream Queen after she'd already gotten into college.  Having said that, I would thoroughly enjoy reading a college application where "Ice Cream Queen" was listed as an accomplishment.  I'd think the applicant was bat-shit nuts, but it would still make for a fun read.   

[Nanrad]

Richard did ask.  In Christopher Returns, Richard asked Lorelai what he and Emily had done to deserve Lorelai running away and cutting them off.   Lorelai gave a non-responsive answer.   

Right, but it was his execution and overall demeanor, which led to the non-answer. They only viewed themselves as victims rather than entertaining the idea that perhaps the hurt was a two way street. The way in which Richard phrased the question made Lorelai stay silent because she felt it would only get worse/there'd be no point. And, was he being rhetorical or willing to actually listen to Lorelai? IMO, if someone is behaving like that, there won't be any true dialogue that gives answers or shows progress to having an honest conversation. 

 

Usually, when Richard and Emily were angry with Lorelai, they either didn't want to listen to her or made her feel like shit (as well as a child). From what I can recall, they only brought up her running away when their hand was forced and they were angry or to make snide/belittling remarks. Perhaps if they came to her on their on when things weren't intense or they weren't in attack mode whenever they did talk about what happened, they'd have an answer. I'm hot/cold when it comes to Lorelai, but overall, I tend to side with her regarding her parents because, despite how hurt and well-intentioned they may be--they tend to draw blood wether they know it or not. 

 

They make Lorelai feel like shit for not wanting to marry Chris and put all of the blame as to why he wasn't involved in Rory's life as if marrying Lorelai was the only way he could be a father. Just about every episode from Christopher's introduction to early season 3 that he's in, because that's where I'm at in my re-watch, there is dialogue that supports that Chris let Rory down/wasn't there was Rory on his own and that Lorelai didn't speak ill of him or tried to put Rory against him. Even if Rory followed after her mother's lead, Lorelai should be able to be upset with Chris for 16 plus years of shitty parenting rather than suppress her true emotions because Rory may sense it. Chris has been a disappoint on his own merit to his daughter.

 

Chris figures into this situation with her parents because he helped create Rory, some of their biggest/most significant fights have centered around Chris and Lorelai not being with him, and they tried to control her life by getting her to marry Chris and fit into the ideal life that their society deemed appropriate. They can't seem to understand that they life they so desperately wanted for her was one that Lorelai would've been miserable in. Outwardly, they put all of the blame on Lorelai all while praising Chris just because he wanted to do the "right thing". 

 

Long answer short, it's not about what Emily and Richard did to deserve Lorelai running away and cutting them off, it's about Loerlai taking control of her life and no longer feeling suffocating by the environment she loathed for most of her life.

[junienmomo]

Long answer short, it's not about what Emily and Richard did to deserve Lorelai running away and cutting them off, it's about Loerlai taking control of her life and no longer feeling suffocating by the environment she loathed for most of her life.

 

Yes! That is my most important block to my loving Lorelai as a character. She has such a command of words, but doesn't use them to stand up for herself in an assertive way. Often she runs, but more often she represses. I felt so sad for her when I recently rewatched Ted Koppel. Emily skewered her at Yale, telling her they wanted to do it alone with Rory. Lorelai's reaction was to jump into a date with Jason, but she was clearly heartbroken to hear her mother say that.

[KatWay]

They often seemed to revel in the opportunity to exclude Lorelai from things/their world, as a sort of petty revenge that she once excluded them from hers. When Rory liked playing golf with Richard, Emily could barely contain her glee or rubbing it in Lorelai's face. When Logan came to visit with Rory as his girlfriend, they treated Lorelai, as though she wasn't even there, because she was that insignificant in their world, Logan's world (and now Rory's world too). IDK, as much as I can sympathise with how much it must have hurt to have Lorelai run away at age 16 I just side with her over them, because she was just a teenager and going through a lot, and her parents had never made her feel as though she belonged with them. They tried to make her fit into their world, instead of trying to be open to new experiences that she might have liked. I do think she was immature and didn't handle the situation well (then or later) but they were her parents...and it took them decades to arrive at a point where they could see Lorelai as an accomplished person in her own field instead of a disappointment in theirs, and that can't have been easy to live with.

[txhorns79]

The way in which Richard phrased the question made Lorelai stay silent because she felt it would only get worse/there'd be no point. And, was he being rhetorical or willing to actually listen to Lorelai? IMO, if someone is behaving like that, there won't be any true dialogue that gives answers or shows progress to having an honest conversation.

 

I can see that interpretation, but ultimately, I feel like it ends up being way too convenient for Lorelai.  That way, she is always the victim, and ultimately never has to really answer for her choices.  I think she was just an unhappy teenager.  Her parents were controlling, and she reacted to that.  It's immature, but her excuse is that she was immature.

 

I would just say this.  Imagine if your child cut you almost entirely off for about fifteen or so years.  It started off being devastating, but you eventually made your peace and had whatever relationship with your kid and granddaughter that was allowed.  Your child then returns, but in reality, she has no interest in a relationship with you, rather she just wants your money.  It's for a good cause, your granddaughter, but ultimately it just reopens all the old wounds.  I'm not saying Emily and Richard couldn't and shouldn't have done more to make their relationship better with Lorelai.  They could have and should have.  I just have sympathy for them on this.                  

[Nanrad]

I can see that interpretation, but ultimately, I feel like it ends up being way too convenient for Lorelai.  That way, she is always the victim, and ultimately never has to really answer for her choices.  I think she was just an unhappy teenager.  Her parents were controlling, and she reacted to that.  It's immature, but her excuse is that she was immature.

 

I would just say this.  Imagine if your child cut you almost entirely off for about fifteen or so years.  It started off being devastating, but you eventually made your peace and had whatever relationship with your kid and granddaughter that was allowed.  Your child then returns, but in reality, she has no interest in a relationship with you, rather she just wants your money.  It's for a good cause, your granddaughter, but ultimately it just reopens all the old wounds.  I'm not saying Emily and Richard couldn't and shouldn't have done more to make their relationship better with Lorelai.  They could have and should have.  I just have sympathy for them on this.                  

I don't think Lorelai is always the victim, which is why I'm hot/cold on her. But, in the situation with her parents regarding her pregnancy and running away, she was immature, but in retrospect, made a decision that was right for her by leaving. Richard and Emily weren't simply trying to provide structure for her life, but rather, control every aspect of it including her eventual venture into adulthood. Being a teenager is about trying to find your identity and learning how to fit into the world at large, but her parents were trying to make her conform to their society to the detriment of their daughter's emotional well being. I'm not saying that they didn't have valid feelings and weren't hurt by her actions, but rather, they never considered Lorelai from the perspective of who she was, it was about who they wanted her to be and saving face in their society. This is why Lorelai grew up believing that her parents never truly cared about her and that Rory was the golden one because everything she did pleased her parents, where as her parents were overly critical of her even at Rory's age. Doesn't the series establish that Lorelai did well in school and participated in most function, if not, all. It wasn't enough that she was a relatively good child who did well in school--she had to want to be one of them as well.

 

Lorelai wasn't unhappy just because, she was unhappy because her parents refused to see her as an individual and tried to force her to become someone she wasn't. She was unhappy with never being accepted or good enough, which carried into her adulthood. I think Lorelai can hardly recall her mother being affection towards her as well as her father and has more memories of their biting/judgmental comments. It's easy to say she is exaggerating, but the series supports that she isn't, which is the sad part. 

 

IMHO, Emily and Richard never made peace with what happened. It simmered in the background until they forced the dinners, and then it bloomed in full force. They didn't understand why she left, but then again, they didn't try to. Lorelai told them in so many ways that them trying to control her life was one of them reasons, if not the main reason, she left and what do they do when she comes back into their life? Try to control her life. Meddle in her relationships and could've ruined a friendship/relationship with a man who was incredibly important to her because they thought he wasn't good enough. Never mind their daughter's feelings and how he made her feel--NO, he isn't the right breeding. On several occasions, getting angry and spitting in venomous tones how she should've been in Rory's position or living a happy, married life with Chris.

 

I can understand them being upset or whatever at her for asking money, but they made a deal for dinners that provided an opportunity to rebuild their relationship and rather hold onto their past and their society than realizing they had an opportunity to start fresh. 

[txhorns79]

This is why Lorelai grew up believing that her parents never truly cared about her and that Rory was the golden one because everything she did pleased her parents, where as her parents were overly critical of her even at Rory's age.

 

I never got the impression that Lorelai believed her parents didn't care about her.  I got the impression she thought they were overbearing or too critical, but never that she thought her parents never cared for her. 

 

 

Being a teenager is about trying to find your identity and learning how to fit into the world at large, but her parents were trying to make her conform to their society to the detriment of their daughter's emotional well being.

 

I don't know how much they did that.  Lorelai wasn't forced to get married, her parents didn't threaten to send her away, or make her give up Rory for adoption.  It they were looking to conform to society, I think all those things would have been on the table.  Rather, they accepted the situation as it was and dealt with it.  And frankly, if my high school age teenager was pregnant or parented a child, "the time to find their identity or learn how they fit into the world at large" would be so low on the list of priorities so as not to even make an impression.         

[shron17]

I would just say this.  Imagine if your child cut you almost entirely off for about fifteen or so years.

 

Parents should always remember that after the age of 18 their child has the legal right to live their own life and any contact they have after will be based on their relationship up to that point.  Emily and Richard thought they could control Lorelai with their money.   It's probably true she wasn't quite 18 when she left but probably would be soon, so no, I don't have sympathy for parents who aren't willing to change their behavior and then are devastated when their daughter figures out an escape route.  There's nothing to indicate they didn't know where she was for a long period of time or were somehow prevented from visiting.  Yet Emily almost gleefully started setting conditions as soon as Lorelai asked for their help, telling me it was all about control.

[txhorns79]

Parents should always remember that after the age of 18 their child has the legal right to live their own life and any contact they have after will be based on their relationship up to that point.

 

I honestly don't think any parent should approach their relationship with their child based on the idea that the kid has the right to walk away at 18.  That's not healthy for either parent or child.  Parents can't base their decisions on the idea their kid has an imaginary scoreboard, and kids can't be granted that kind of control over their parents.     

 

 

There's nothing to indicate they didn't know where she was for a long period of time or were somehow prevented from visiting.  Yet Emily almost gleefully started setting conditions as soon as Lorelai asked for their help, telling me it was all about control.

 

True.  It does not appear they were prevented from visiting.  However, I would say that I'm sure they knew enough to realize that their visits would not be welcome.  As to the conditions on the money, Emily wanted a relationship with her daughter and saw it as a way in.  I didn't get the idea that she was setting conditions as a way to punish Lorelai.   

 

I should also say that I love this conversation.  It's so interesting to see other points of view. 

Edited March 16, 2015 by txhorns79

[shron17]

and kids can't be granted that kind of control over their parents.

 

Well, no one "grants" them that control and it's not control of their parents but of their own life.  Of course you don't make parenting decisions based on the idea, but I think it's wise to recognize that if you have a bad relationship with your child and want to continue to be in their life, you should be trying to do what you can to make it better.  Children don't have a lot of choice about who they spend their time with but adults do.  If most people were criticized by their mother as much as Emily criticized Lorelai, they probably wouldn't want to be around her either.

 

As to the conditions on the money, Emily wanted a relationship with her daughter and saw it as a way in.  I didn't get the idea that she was setting conditions as a way to punish Lorelai.

 

If Emily really wanted a relationship with her daughter there were a million more positive ways she could have approached it years earlier than just waiting until Lorelai needed money.  I said she set the conditions as a way to control Lorelai in terms of how often she saw her, not punish her.  Emily wasted a lot of time trying to force Lorelai to let her be part of her life when she should have been figuring out what she could do to make things better between them.  Like if she did visit and felt unwelcome, ask herself what she could change to make the visit more pleasant for everyone.

Edited March 16, 2015 by shron17

[Nanrad]

I never got the impression that Lorelai believed her parents didn't care about her.  I got the impression she thought they were overbearing or too critical, but never that she thought her parents never cared for her. 

 

I don't know how much they did that.  Lorelai wasn't forced to get married, her parents didn't threaten to send her away, or make her give up Rory for adoption.  It they were looking to conform to society, I think all those things would have been on the table.  Rather, they accepted the situation as it was and dealt with it.  And frankly, if my high school age teenager was pregnant or parented a child, "the time to find their identity or learn how they fit into the world at large" would be so low on the list of priorities so as not to even make an impression.         

I think it's a mix: sometimes she feels that they love her and other times she feels that they put up with her because of Rory. This is a misperception on her part, but I can understand why she feels the way she does. Emily and Richard do love Lorelai, but they struggle to accept her as she is, which is why she has difficulty believing that they love her/care. Perhaps you can recall better than I can, but when Lorelai graduated from college, she didn't want to invite her parents because she didn't believe that they'd care (as well be overbearing and too critical). 

 

I'm referring to pre pregnancy not post. Her parents overbearing nature made Lorelai feel alone and isolated that she sought physical intimacy with Chris because he was the only one who understood her. There are worse options that Lorelai could've faced, but knowing how Emily and Richard behaved pre pregnancy and post running away/re-enterting their lives, I'd say the year she lived with them after having Rory wasn't too pleasant. 

 

I honestly don't think any parent should approach their relationship with their child based on the idea that the kid has the right to walk away at 18.  That's not healthy for either parent or child.  Parents can't base their decisions on the idea their kid has an imaginary scoreboard, and kids can't be granted that kind of control over their parents.     

 

True.  It does not appear they were prevented from visiting.  However, I would say that I'm sure they knew enough to realize that their visits would not be welcome.  As to the conditions on the money, Emily wanted a relationship with her daughter and saw it as a way in.  I didn't get the idea that she was setting conditions as a way to punish Lorelai.   

They shouldn't, but they should be aware of it. If your kids seems overall miserable and you are trying to control just about every aspect of their life, including who they marry, don't be surprise if they cut off contact. TBH, there are many kids who should either cut off contact or limit how much they interact with their parents. I have two cousins who love their mothers, but literally moved to different states to get away from them because my aunts were so overbearing. They call and visit or are visited, but their mothers were definitely a factor into moving far away. 

 

Unless the kid is an ass, they aren't keeping score if they have a relatively good relationship with their parents. I have a great relationship with my mom, but I might move out of state because of necessity and my mother is taking that poorly. But, unlike Lorelai, I have can tell my mother that, although her opinion is welcomed, I don't have to follow it and I haven't if it wasn't the best option for me. 

 

I agree, Emily wasn't trying to punish Lorelai, but she was trying to control her. Think about this: when Trix offered to fund Rory's education, Emily was upset because that meant that there would be dinner more dinners without the money. Now, if Emily had put the past behind her and actually worked on her relationship with her daughter, she wouldn't have been as worried if at all. They had made no true progress in their relationship. Emily found a way in, but did a shitty job capitalizing on having her daughter back in her life. 

[txhorns79]

Her parents overbearing nature made Lorelai feel alone and isolated that she sought physical intimacy with Chris because he was the only one who understood her.

 

I think that mostly was alcohol mixed with teenage hormones.  I don't remember Lorelai suggesting to anyone that she had sex with Chris as a teenager because she was lonely and wanted intimacy.        

[Nanrad]

TBH, it was what I picked up from the subtext. I don't think she intentionally sought out Chris, but the circumstances leading up to her pregnancy and how she seems to latch onto him whenever they are in a good spot when it comes to Emily/Richard being upset at her. Chris was safe and comfortable. This theory/opinion can change once I rewatch the whole series, but I just always felt this way about the pregnancy.

[GreenScreenFX]

I think Chris was a high school boyfriend. Lorelai had sex with him and "oooops" shit happened...it wasn't an epic love story or Lorelei crying out because she felt neglected,.. She was doing what teenagers do.... She rolled the dice and lost.

[KatWay]

I definitely got the impression Chris and Lorelai bonded over their parents to some degree.

 

I do think Emily (and Richard to a lesser extent) wanted to use the money thing as an "in" with Lorelai to have a closer relationship, but they went about it all wrong. I mean, I think it was only one or two episodes later where Emily couldn't have made it any clearer that they really wanted Rory to be part of their family, while Lorelai was more an "extra" but not necessarily that important. They put a lot of effort into making Rory feel comfortable and figure out shared interests.

Their main interest in Lorelai always seemed to be to try and control her life, or at least that's how she would have seen it - they only took an interest when they wanted to try and tell her how to raise Rory, or who to date, or how to behave. I don't think that's all they did, but I can see why it might seem that way to her.

[readster]

 

I'm referring to pre pregnancy not post. Her parents overbearing nature made Lorelai feel alone and isolated that she sought physical intimacy with Chris because he was the only one who understood her. There are worse options that Lorelai could've faced, but knowing how Emily and Richard behaved pre pregnancy and post running away/re-enterting their lives, I'd say the year she lived with them after having Rory wasn't too pleasant.

 

  The thing was, that Chris's parents were very controlling and felt like Emily and Richard did about Lorelai. They had these very crazy expectations of him. The difference was, Straube and Francine got it into their heads that it was Emily and Richard's raising of Lorelai that corrupted Christopher. That's why he wasn't thinking straight when the two of them had sex and oppps, there was Rory. They also say Rory as the final straw that broke the camel's back. Who had no choice in the matter of existing. Even when Christopher had the same situation happen almost 20 years later. Especially after: securing a career, being an adult in his mid 30s. From what we understood Georgia was basically considered non-existant for Straube and Francine too. I hated that and if your parents are going to feel it is everyone's fault but the person who got himself in that situation. Then you can see why Chris walked around and was easily controlled by Emily to break up Luke and Lorelai or how he cheered when Lorelai came to his door after the stupid break up. Because remember: Christopher had people leaving him, and leaving him out in the cold, ect. "Poor little Christopher" he could never tell his parents to grow up. Or the fact it was probably a good idea he didn't marry Lorelai at 17 because he really didn't try being a father to Rory for over a decade because he didn't try. He always called for help as soon as he couldn't do something. 

[Nanrad]

Readster, that why I was saying that Chris understood her because he could honestly relate so they could both complain about how controlling and overbearing there parents were.

 

Generally speaking, regarding why and how Lorelai got pregnant as she had said before in reference to her pregnancy, "Timing is everything." I've always thought she meant that in more ways than one--not just teenage pregnancy. Yes, there were hormones and alcohol involved, but IMO, her shitty relationship with her parents influenced that indirectly. I believe its ONE OF the reasons they had sex not the only one. Take them getting married for example: yeah, Lorelai always wondered "what if" since it was Chris, but it was also them having a kid together as well as her parents wanting them together that influenced that decision. 

 

Kids have sex, but strip the characters of their name and you could still predict them having sex because of their shitty relationship with their parents:

 

"Girl and guy are childhood friends who both grew up in homes where they bonded about how a lot was expected of them and their parents were overbearing. They found each other attractive and the teenage hormones were kicking in. One night, they decided to sneak away together and have a drink."

 

Even if they didn't have sex at that moment, many viewers would predict it happening and some would even speculate that was there parents overbearing natures/high expectations that influenced their decision to have sex. 

[readster]

Exactly, Nanrad! Its been a staple in society and TV for years. I'll even put up an example of Degrassi the Next Generation. Where the girl's parents outright didn't want not only their daught not with her boyfriend but no boy within 20 feet of their home because "teenage boys are dangerous" even though they had son and di the double standard: "Oh you have a girlfriend, son? High five!" Due to the outlawing of dating, the daughter got pregnant and they gave the baby up but said girl went with another guy a few years later. They were seniors in high school and the same applied: "The last guy got you pregnant and then got himself killed." She fired back: "Well, maybe if you didn't 'forbid' me from having a boyfriend maybe my pregnancy wouldn't have happened in the first place. Yet, you catch my brother getting it on with his girlfriend and you didn't bat an eye." The parents were left speechless. I was like: "Bravo!" It does happen, the more you force your kids into something they don't want to do, the more they are going to do something stupid. 

[Madame Helvetica]

And frankly, if my high school age teenager was pregnant or parented a child, "the time to find their identity or learn how they fit into the world at large" would be so low on the list of priorities so as not to even make an impression.

 

THIS! You make an adult decision and end up suffering adult consequences, you don't get to go "find yourself".

 

 

There's nothing to indicate they didn't know where she was for a long period of time or were somehow prevented from visiting.  Yet Emily almost gleefully started setting conditions as soon as Lorelai asked for their help, telling me it was all about control.

 

I don't think dinner once a week is all about control. It's about being a part of their daughter and their grandchild's life - which their daughter has kept them firmly at arms, or longer, length. I think it was stated they only saw them once a year or so for the holidays? Emily saw an opening to re-establish a relationship and so she did.

 

 

Think about this: when Trix offered to fund Rory's education, Emily was upset because that meant that there would be dinner more dinners without the money.

I can't blame Emily being upset about this. She knew that Lorelai would go back to little communication with her parents and they wouldn't see Rory as much as they would like, so she got defensive about it.

 

 

 

Emily wasted a lot of time trying to force Lorelai to let her be part of her life when she should have been figuring out what she could do to make things better between them.  Like if she did visit and felt unwelcome, ask herself what she could change to make the visit more pleasant for everyone.

 

And maybe Lorelai could have reached out to her parents and not gotten prickly anytime they wanted to talk about how they were hurt by her actions. Which she did anytime the subject was broached or she became the victim of her rich parents and their RULES. I'm not saying Richard and Emily are saints - they're not - but Lorelai's actions created more strife with their relationship than anything, which in turn, affected their relationship with their granddaughter. (Rory followed Lorelai's lead on pretty much everything. If Lorelai was mad at someone, so was Rory.)

 

Someone up thread mentioned Emily rubbing the fact that Rory liked golfing with her grandfather in Lorelai's face (I don't have the energy to go find the qoute) and I had such an opposite reaction to that scene. When Rory was all goofy and wearing her golf hat with the poof ball that her grandfather got her, she was proud of it and smiling, telling Lorelai that she enjoyed her time. Lorelai got all butt hurt about it and acted weird that Rory would get along with her parents in ways that she was never able to. Instead, she made jokes about the hat and made Rory feel ridiculous about having fun and wearing it (i'm basing this opinion on how her face falls when talking to her mom and slowly taking off her hat). Lorelai then kind of attacks? Emily about their outing to which Emily responded something equally snarky about "is it inconceivable that Rory could possibly enjoy spending time her grandfather" something like that. In that instance, Lorelai was being a jerk, not Emily rubbing it in her face.

[amensisterfriend]

This is such an interesting discussion! My own pathetically simplistic view? Emily is just so freaking MEAN. Like, mean to the point where I can all too readily understand the need to distance oneself from her---for longer periods of time and to a greater extreme than Lorelai did, in fact. 

 

That doesn't in any way absolve Lorelai from her own role in perpetuating their dysfunctional dynamic or excuse her own impulsivity, immaturity and tendency to goad and mock. But many seem to imply that Emily's EXTREMELY hurtful, frequent and just plain demoralizing insults, absurdly judgmental comments and behavior, bigoted snobbery, gross manipulations, attempts to outright sabotage her daughter's relationship  general nastiness, etc. should be merrily dismissed as 'well, that's just Emily!' while Lorelai is primarily to blame for their inability to have a closer and healthier relationship, and I just can't get behind that at all.

 

Emily is a compelling character played by a gifted actress, and her meanness is often in the form of sharply snarky, quotable dialogue, which makes it somewhat entertaining, amusing and therefore often easier for audiences to forgive. (Case in point: I often find Paris' meanness FAR more palatable than I ever would in real life purely because for fictional purposes it entertains me...but I wouldn't blame other characters for deciding she's a terrible human being who should be avoided, either!) In real life, Emily would be an absolute nightmare, at least in my unpopular opinion.

 

We all view things through the prism of our own experiences, and maybe my views stem from the fact that I grew up in a place where "Emilys" were not uncommon. For me, Lorelai's own serious flaws and missteps with regard to their relationship---and lord knows there are many---are just easier for me to understand and semi-forgive, because I know that dealing with people as hurtful, rigid. elitist, spirit-crushing and, yes, just plain mean as Emily is often difficult to the point where the toxicity is simply too much to handle. Yes, even more difficult than dealing with the admittedly annoying as hell Lorelai :) (As for people claiming in the past that Emily isn't outright mean, I'm too lazy to cite examples and it's more a matter of perception than concrete fact anyway, but suffice it to say I think she said and did extremely mean things in a rather alarming number of episodes, even when those insults and behaviors were passed off as amusing and/or a response to feeling hurt or threatened.)  

 

Then again---and this is just a reflection of the "ugh, someone needs to remind me of why i love this show!" stage I'm in with my GG fandom at the moment!---I honestly think the VAST majority of GG characters are hard to genuinely respect or even like and root for. Many are interesting, amusing and, to AS-P's credit, have some clearly defined strengths. But the characters' very serious flaws were often exaGGerated for the sake of fulfilling AS-P's ideas of hyper-stylized drama and/or comedy to the point where I find myself thinking just how deeply I'd strive to avoid most of these people in real life. You know I hold the UO of thinking Luke is an alarmingly angry, dull, bitter boor to the point where it overshadows his finer qualities; I've already ranted about Emily and Lorelai; I adore Paris as a character but would find her moderately to severely terrifying in real life; pretty much all of the show's male characters are jealous, immature, temperamental jerks; etc. Maybe that's why I've always held the UO of loving Rory far more than most do---as compared to most of GG's characters, her own flaws seem pretty tame and relatable to me :)  

[junienmomo]

I am seriously loving this discussion, folks, and to offer something in return, I coincidentally stumbled on a darkly (dark for "Lorelai/Rory/Emily are perfect" believers) humorous short fanfic.

Set in a wildly alternate universe, it's the author's way of expressing some of the same sentiments you've been expressing (and I feel occasionally).

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11033721/1/Reality-Check by LisaJ

 

She said SO many things I've thought at one point or another. 

[shron17]

You make an adult decision and end up suffering adult consequences, you don't get to go "find yourself".

 

I guess you don't think moving out of your parents' house with your infant daughter because you wanted to provide a better environment for her and working as a maid to support you both is suffering adult consequences.  Lorelai did take responsibility for Rory and didn't hesitate to do what she needed to do to offer her what she thought was the best possible life.  That's what the whole show is about.  If instead she had left Rory with her parents while she went off to find herself, then yes, I would agree.

 

And maybe Lorelai could have reached out to her parents and not gotten prickly anytime they wanted to talk about how they were hurt by her actions.

 

Sure she could have, if she was the one who wanted to repair the relationship.  I'm only saying if Emily wanted to have a relationship with them there are many many ways she could have worked to make that happen instead of forcing visits.  Lorelai didn't move halfway across the country--only 30 minutes away.  Are we to assume Emily had so many obligations she couldn't possibly spare the time for regular visits to get to know her granddaughter, even if it had to be under Lorelai's watchful eye?  Instead Emily put all the responsibility on Lorelai, expecting her to put in the effort and make all of the compromises because she moved out.  It would have been nice if Lorelai could have been more open to having a relationship with her parents once she moved out, but I completely understand why she didn't feel any obligation to do that given the way she was often treated.

Edited March 16, 2015 by shron17

[txhorns79]

I'm only saying if Emily wanted to have a relationship with them there are many many ways she could have worked to make that happen instead of forcing visits.  Lorelai didn't move halfway across the country--only 30 minutes away.  Are we to assume Emily had so many obligations she couldn't possibly spare the time for regular visits to get to know her granddaughter, even if it had to be under Lorelai's watchful eye?

 

My guess was that Lorelai wasn't about to welcome her parents for regular visits, and would never be open to something like that unless her parents had some kind of leverage to force the issue.

[shron17]

My guess was that Lorelai wasn't about to welcome her parents for regular visits, and would never be open to something like that unless her parents had some kind of leverage to force the issue.

 

It wouldn't have been easy, that's for sure.  But if Emily had been persistent yet respectful of the fact that it was Lorelai's life and Rory was her child, I think the odds of success were much better than trying to force the relationship.  Love works better than leverage.

[Nanrad]

THIS! You make an adult decision and end up suffering adult consequences, you don't get to go "find yourself".

 

I don't think dinner once a week is all about control. It's about being a part of their daughter and their grandchild's life - which their daughter has kept them firmly at arms, or longer, length. I think it was stated they only saw them once a year or so for the holidays? Emily saw an opening to re-establish a relationship and so she did.

 

I can't blame Emily being upset about this. She knew that Lorelai would go back to little communication with her parents and they wouldn't see Rory as much as they would like, so she got defensive about it.

 

 

 

And maybe Lorelai could have reached out to her parents and not gotten prickly anytime they wanted to talk about how they were hurt by her actions. Which she did anytime the subject was broached or she became the victim of her rich parents and their RULES. I'm not saying Richard and Emily are saints - they're not - but Lorelai's actions created more strife with their relationship than anything, which in turn, affected their relationship with their granddaughter. (Rory followed Lorelai's lead on pretty much everything. If Lorelai was mad at someone, so was Rory.)

 

Someone up thread mentioned Emily rubbing the fact that Rory liked golfing with her grandfather in Lorelai's face (I don't have the energy to go find the qoute) and I had such an opposite reaction to that scene. When Rory was all goofy and wearing her golf hat with the poof ball that her grandfather got her, she was proud of it and smiling, telling Lorelai that she enjoyed her time. Lorelai got all butt hurt about it and acted weird that Rory would get along with her parents in ways that she was never able to. Instead, she made jokes about the hat and made Rory feel ridiculous about having fun and wearing it (i'm basing this opinion on how her face falls when talking to her mom and slowly taking off her hat). Lorelai then kind of attacks? Emily about their outing to which Emily responded something equally snarky about "is it inconceivable that Rory could possibly enjoy spending time her grandfather" something like that. In that instance, Lorelai was being a jerk, not Emily rubbing it in her face.

As I said to TX, which my statement is what is being replied to, I was referring to BEFORE her pregnancy. Richard and Emily were very critical and overbearing in a time where teens are trying to find themselves and learn how to fit into the world. Her parents added unnecessary pressure, especially when they knew that Lorelai was generally a good kid, but didn't care much for that world. Post pregnancy, as another poster said, she took responsibility. She didn't ask her parents for a thing until it came to Chilton, which was almost 15 years later. That's one of the things that hurt them: she wanted NOTHING from them until Rory was almost an adult.

 

I don't think many fault Emily for capitalizing on an opportunity, it's that she was doing the same shit, if not worse, that made Lorelai run away in the first place. Earlier, I argued that if Emily truly understood the error of her ways, she wouldn't have been worried about Trix offering to fund Rory's education because she and Lorelai made progress on their relationship that she'd voluntarily come without the money. Even after the scare had passed, Emily stayed fucking up. Emily just feels the need to control everything whether or not she consciously does it.

 

You're way more familiar with the series than I am, but from what I know, I can't agree with Rory always taking her mother's lead. Rory has sided with her grandparents on several occasions and told her mom she needed to be more mature; she was mad at her dad back in season two because he broke his promise to her about her mom (one of his many broken promises); she was mad at her mother, I believe, about what happened with Luke. Rory has shown several occasions that she thinks own her own, but there are also occasions where she did agree with her mom. Lorelai does share blame in this situation, but I honestly believe if Richard and Emily weren't always in attack mode and delivering biting comments whenever given the chance, Lorelai could've eventually had an honest discussion with them. Sometimes they won't even let her speak--like when she tried to explain in season 3 about her and Chris' break up.

 

It's actually both about the golf thing: Emily was being rude and Lorelai was being a jerk. But, overall, Lorelai can get jerkish regarding Rory's relationship with her grandparents and that is because of the unresolved and fractured relationship she has with them. Lorelei isn't jealous or resentful of Rory for having that relationship, but that she can't and couldn't have that relationship with her parents (at that age). Emily and Richard seems to accept Rory as she is, which they wouldn't do with Lorelai, but this becomes more difficult because Rory isn't as headstrong as Lorelai was as a teen and as an adult AND she doesn't mind high society. At the same time, they aren't her parents and she didn't have to live that life her whole life.

Edited March 17, 2015 by Nanrad

[txhorns79]

Lorelei isn't jealous or resentful of Rory for having that relationship, but that she can't and couldn't have that relationship with her parents (at that age). Emily and Richard seems to accept Rory as she is, which they wouldn't do with Lorelai, but this becomes more difficult because Rory isn't as headstrong as Lorelai was as a teen and as an adult AND she doesn't mind high society. At the same time, they aren't her parents and she didn't have to live that life her whole life.

 

I'd disagree.  I think Lorelai is very resentful of the idea that Rory could have a good relationship with her parents.  Lorelai's entire persona is built around the idea of Emily and Richard as monsters who had to be escaped.  If she sees they are able to have a normal relationship with Rory, it means she has to reevaluate them as actual people instead of the caricatures she imagines them to be.     

[Nanrad]

I'd disagree.  I think Lorelai is very resentful of the idea that Rory could have a good relationship with her parents.  Lorelai's entire persona is built around the idea of Emily and Richard as monsters who had to be escaped.  If she sees they are able to have a normal relationship with Rory, it means she has to reevaluate them as actual people instead of the caricatures she imagines them to be.     

You're right, but I misspoke, I should've said that she isn't resentful of her daughter. She hates the relationship, but she doesn't have ill feelings towards Rory about it. That's really what I was trying to say.

[KatWay]

 

I think Lorelai is very resentful of the idea that Rory could have a good relationship with her parents.  Lorelai's entire persona is built around the idea of Emily and Richard as monsters who had to be escaped.  If she sees they are able to have a normal relationship with Rory, it means she has to reevaluate them as actual people instead of the caricatures she imagines them to be.

Maybe, but it's also centered around her inability to be what they want and Rory just effortlessly fitting into that world in a way she never did. Emily and Richard have a far easier time with Rory - a) they've somewhat mellowed with age and b) Rory is exactly what they wanted Lorelai to be and they don't hesitate to rub that under Lorelai's nose.

I guess I have a hard time blaming Lorelai for not opening up to her parents when their number one priority always seemed to be (not necessarily was, but that's what it looked like) to get a do over with the new and improved Lorelai 2.0, not so much improving their connection with their actual daughter. The times where they seemed to warm up to Lorelai often were connected to her doing something they approved of (dating Christopher, going on a date with that other high soc dude).

[txhorns79]

I guess I have a hard time blaming Lorelai for not opening up to her parents when their number one priority always seemed to be (not necessarily was, but that's what it looked like) to get a do over with the new and improved Lorelai 2.0, not so much improving their connection with their actual daughter.

 

I know that idea popped up when Rory moved into the poolhouse (when Rory was literally running away from her mother to live with them), but prior to that, I saw them wanting to share their lives with Rory (which meant showing her how they lived, what their interests were, etc.), while trying to reintegrate Lorelai into the fold.  I didn't see their focus as trying to get a do over. 

Edited March 17, 2015 by txhorns79

[HeySandyStrange]

I'd say it was a little of all those things: Emily and Richard wanted both the girls back in their lives, but they naturally gravitated to Rory. She really was a good fit with them, mostly because she wasn't rebellious, was quiet, easily impressionable, and easy-going.  Rory really didn't have to many of the surface traits of a Gilmore, however Lorelai was very much her parents' child in some ways.  So while imo it wasn't strictly a "do over" I'm sure on some level the elder Gilmore's were very pleased to actually have a granddaughter they could relate to.  I could see that they easy way they excepted Rory would have rubbed Lorelai the wrong way, particularly because they (whether they were aware of it or not) still took pot shots at Lorelai and may have set an unfair comparison between her and Rory. I don't think they did it totally on purpose, but Emily and Richard couldn't seem to find a way to relate to Lorelai, and she didn't always try very hard either.

 

This is neither here nor there, but I wonder how the dynamic would have changed it Emily and Richard had another child, especially one that fit better into their world? I should search for some fanfics and hope for the best lol. 

[Kohola3]

This is neither here nor there, but I wonder how the dynamic would have changed it Emily and Richard had another child, especially one that fit better into their world?

 

I imagine it would be much like that very weird family that Lorelai and Rory visited when she was deciding on a college.  They had those two freakish robot children and the dancing rabbit daughter.  As long as Richard and Emily had one in their image I would think they would pretty much ignore the oddball.

[HeySandyStrange]

When you put it like that, Kohola3, I would think Lorelai would've loved having a sibling--if only to get her parents off her back.  I can't help but think that if she had a brother, though, he might have been a Logan type and Rich&Em would have been willing to look the other way as well at his behavior as long as he kept up appearances.

[Guest]

I don't think Lorelei was at all open to having her parents be part of their world, so Emily's options were accept that or try to force the issue once Lorelei needed money.  Look at how upset Lorelei got when Rory enjoyed golfing with Richard.  Or when Emily requested a copy of the Chilton newsletter so she could keep up with happenings at Rory's school. Those are just two examples, but it was pretty clear that Lorelei wanted nothing to do with them at the beginning of the series.

[readster]

When you put it like that, Kohola3, I would think Lorelai would've loved having a sibling--if only to get her parents off her back.  I can't help but think that if she had a brother, though, he might have been a Logan type and Rich&Em would have been willing to look the other way as well at his behavior as long as he kept up appearances.

 

 I also always thought about the same with Christopher because both Lorelai and Christopher were only children. Everyone else in their circles early and later in life had siblings. I remember even Logan mentioning an aunt who was Mitchum's sister who stayed out of the family business but was happy. Lorelai being an only child made sense as it was constantly shown and told about Emily and Richard having problems dealing with Lorelai having a simple cold to an ear ache and how nannies were around less than Emily's maids. I also remember a throw away line by Christopher after Straube died saying his relationship was like Straube and his grandfather. They were only children who never got along with their dads until it was too late. It also mirrored Rory's relationship with her grandparents as when Chris's grandfather died, everything from his estate was left to him and no one else. Also, pointed out that when Francine would die the estate goes straight to Chris too because he's the only surviving member of the family and can't go to Rory or Georgia because they are considered non-existent. You have to wonder if things would have been different for both families if they would have had a brother or sister. Christopher might not have been constantly told it was everyone else's fault but his own if he had a sister or brother who didn't have these problems. Or if Emily or Richard would have had another daughter or son who did not rebel against them. Same goes to even Jason with his parents, he was the only child and his father cut him out completely to have Richard back for him. These people who had money and time to have more than one child chose not too because one was "too much" for them. Unless they were families who had more money than if they had up to 2-3 children with one odd ball or one who didn't associate with the family and they left them alone.

[dustylil]

roadster, with respect, as an only child who is the parent of an only child, please don't make assumptions as to why some couples -even those with money and time - have just one offspring. There can be  myriad reasons.

 

Also, I don't think Jason was an only child. Wasn't Carole showing  grandchildren pictures to the Gilmores at that ill-fated dinner?

 

Perhaps I missed something - it wouldn't surprise me - but I thought Christopher's family had accepted Gigi. Weren't there references to her spending time with Francine?

[txhorns79]

please don't make assumptions as to why some couples -even those with money and time - have just one offspring.

 

I think we are all free here to make whatever assumptions we want about why fictional characters make the choices they do.  Otherwise, there is kind of no point in trying to evaluate the characters and their motivations for acting the way they do.  We all bring our own personal views and history to these storylines.  That is what makes the discussion interesting.  My assumption was that Lorelai was an only child for the sake of having a simple, easy to follow storyline.            

[Taryn74]

Also, I don't think Jason was an only child. Wasn't Carole showing  grandchildren pictures to the Gilmores at that ill-fated dinner?

 

Perhaps I missed something - it wouldn't surprise me - but I thought Christopher's family had accepted Gigi. Weren't there references to her spending time with Francine?

 

Oh, yeah, Carol and Floyd were showing off pics of the grandkids at FND.  I had forgotten about that.

 

Re:  Gigi.  It wasn't ever specified, but I definitely got the impression that Francine didn't spend much time even with Gigi until after Straub died.  I remember wondering if she might have attempted to build a relationship with Rory if Straub had died while Rory was still very young.

[dustylil]

My comments about families with only children was in reference to a comment Readster made. It had nothing to do with the character of Lorelai.

 

I'll offer up another only child - Richard - who might have benefitted from having siblings.

 

Wasn't Gigi only about two when Straub died? I don't think it is unusual for some grandparents to spend time and become more attached once a child has developed into more of a little person (and is less squishy!) and that usually is about age two. I would never question Emily's love and devotion to Rory, but I can't see her in her Chanel suits lying on a living room floor so Rory could play "mountain" and crawl all over her! As a result, I don't fault Francine in that respect.

 

I will however continue my ongoing cynicism regarding Francine and her elder granddaughter. Of course, she could have been waiting for her son to do his part first ;)