S01.E03: Willis On One Knee

[bigskygirl]

 

A winning dance routine by the younger family members; Jai proposes to Mary with help from his sisters.

 

[ghoulina]

I really like Jeremiah. He seems like a very real person. I liked that he admitted he feels depressed at times. You'd never hear a Duggar kid say that. I also liked how he said he wanted to make his own way as an adult, even if that means struggling. And I really appreciated that they didn't let the crew film the proposal. So, for now at least, they're not entirely fame-whorey. 

 

His relationship seems very sweet. They laugh a lot together, and he actually could touch and tickle her! Wow. 

 

In fact, these kids seem to have a much healthier view of physicality and intimacy than some other family I can think of. The dad actually talks to his kids about how boys and girls find each other attractive, and how they might change their behavior when they see a handsome boy or pretty girl. And by "change behavior" he doesn't mean yell "Nike!" and look down at the ground. HA!

[JapMo]

I love this show and thought last night's episode was darling. I don't dislike the Duggars and don't want to compare the two families, but when I saw the first episode of The Willis Family, I do have to say I kept thinking why these kids seem so much more sophisticated than the Duggar kids. I think it's because they have been brought up in the entertainment business, and been exposed to more things (good and bad). Even though some of the Duggar kids have had cameras on them for their whole lives, they aren't professional entertainers. Yeah, someone (JimBob or a trust fund) gets money for them appearing on camera, but they don't actually perform like The Willis family.

[Bella]

Just a quick comment:

 

Two of the four 19 Kids mods - BigSkyGirl and me - are modding this forum. And we aren't opposed to comparing the Duggars and Willises.

 

If we need a thread for that, please speak up.

 

Also, we are hoping to keep the comparisons in this forum, as it is a mere fraction of the size of the 19 Kids forum and therefore much more manageable.

 

Thanks!

[shipmate]

The kids and parents are just very likable in this family.  They may be fundie(-lite?) but seem to have more mainstream thoughts and practices with relationships between siblings and outsiders.

[leighdear]

Brenda specifically said they don't conform to any specific "flavor" (my word) of organized Christianity, but live by the bible.  I'm assuming she's going with the more modern interpretations that don't automatically think everything fun is bad and everything uncomfortable is holy.  *LOL* 

 

I also like how she trusts her kids to not go too far with physical interactions.  It almost looked like Jair was going in for the kiss with Mary in the long-shot photos.  If he did, I'm glad that wasn't shown.  A little privacy is good. 

[cereality]

This family is likeable -- and much more normal than the Duggars -- but the brothers and sisters seem awfully "close." When Jer announced he was getting married, it almost seemed like some of the older girls were "jealous" of the "other woman" -- as if they are his romantic partners. I mean I don't see anything wrong with a brother sister dance team -- though I do think that dance they kept showing was a bit sexy re boy getting girl -- esp being done by teen siblings. Whichever sister is his dance partner was a bit much re -- his life is going to change, I have a lot of memories with him and now I won't bc of his fiancé, but that's to be expected. It wasn't the usual sibling stuff of -- aw he's going to move out, it was a bit more of "this girl is horning in on OUR relationship." I felt the same watching whichever sister went with Jer to check out the Opryland Hotel, when she said -- she was the one who kept him away from girls that weren't good for him. I realize some brothers and sisters do talk about relationships, but I've never heard a sibling act like it was their job or their decision to keep their older brother away from certain women.

 

It may just be how they interact. After all while they aren't as secluded or separated as the Duggars, they are homeschooled and in a family band so much of their time is spent together. But still -- it's an odd way for brothers and sisters to interact. The brothers don't seem into it as much as the sisters either. In a previous episode some sister said something about Jedi and the other teen boy his age could be lady killers, but we don't let them. Yet not one of the boys has said anything re -- a man needs to be good enough to take care of my sister.

[pally]

That little Jaeger looks like he is a handful of mischievousness but man is he adorable.  He'd be exhausting just by himself but he's gonna make you smile.
The dancing doesn't bother me so much.  These kids don't compare in the level of sexiness shown by the Houghs, other dancing siblings, or even ice skaters/dancers. 
It seems regardless of their religious beliefs that Mom and Dad understand that it may not really be healthy to have the extreme fundamental beliefs of families such as the Duggars.  It is far better to teach the kids how to properly interact with the opposite sex than it is to teach kids that the other side only wants 1 thing from them.
The level of protectiveness among them isn't that unusual.  Jer seems a bit quieter than the older girls so they just may be more vocal than he is...or simply the fact he is actually in a relationship makes him less suspicious of other guy's motives.  The girls old enough to date are all older than Jack and Jedi so even that dynamic of them more protective of the boys than vice versa makes sense.  If I were the middle group of anonymous girls (can't remember who is who in this group) with Jack and Jedi as the older brothers, I would watch out for over protective syndrome with every guy I met.

[zxy556575]

Mary is only 18 but she and Jair both seem to have their heads on straight and, given their shared interests and religious faith, I fully expect their marriage to succeed and flourish. Best wishes to them and to Jair in his determination to get his moodiness and bouts of depression under control.

 

The fact that the Willises have basically created their own church is interesting. It's not like there's a dearth of various Christian denominations in and around Nashville, so the fact that they prefer to worship with a few other like-minded friends must be indicative of something -- perhaps they're seen as being too "permissive" with dancing and performing by some churches? But there are plenty of Bible-based denominations that would have no problem with it.

 

I wonder how far their open-mindedness would go if, say, one of the kids said they didn't want to wrestle, or dance or play music. It does seem like certain things aren't optional.

[anstar]

It does seem like certain things aren't optional.

Like "down time". Even the mom (who seems more relaxed than Dad) said that when they're home, they still have "work to do" (or words to that effect.)  They're not even allowed to have vague 'to do lists' for crying out loud. Don't just put "Read books"..."Do math".  Be specific.  What books? What math?  and Bring me your lists.

I don't have a problem with keeping children busy.  They are bright, happy, talented children, but geez...

[ghoulina]

They're not even allowed to have vague 'to do lists' for crying out loud. Don't just put "Read books"..."Do math".  Be specific.  What books? What math?  and Bring me your lists.

I don't have a problem with keeping children busy.  They are bright, happy, talented children, but geez...

 

See, I kind of thought that was cool. They were talking about their homeschooling, and I appreciated that the parents let the older kids kind of dictate their day. I truly believe kids learn better when it's something they're interested in. So instead of forcing them to read some lame "prince charming" book 50 times, maybe these folks are letting their kids pick their own books for reading time? I just took it as, I need to hold you accountable for doing your work, but I'm going to give you the freedom to outline what that work is going to be. It not only allows the kids to enjoy their education more, but gives them a sense of independence that will take them far in life. I homeschool, and right now my kids are young and I do the planning. But as they get older, I'm going to be a bit more loose and let them pick subjects that interest them and kind of follow their path, instead of having them follow mine.

[anstar]

They were talking about their homeschooling,

That helps me, because all I heard was, "What are you doing"? and, "I thought I'd read a book", followed by, "Where is your list".  I didn't know they were discussing school.  Toby seems like a nice enough man, but he's clearly a micro-manager.  That kind of personality stresses me out. 

[Tonypitt]

This show to me had "staged for reality TV" written all over it, Jair had obviously already talked with Mary's dad about asking her to marry him. I'm even wondering if Josh had asked Mary before this was shot. The whole thing of him scouting out the location could have been re enacted. My main reason for thinking that is the crummy photos of the event. The show would have tried to film that or at least set his sister up with a GoPro. I'm not usually so cynical, but none of the reactions of people seemed truly spontaneous.

I still like the family. I'm hoping the show doesn't do too much fake stuff to "make good TV."

[Loves2Dance]

This show to me had "staged for reality TV" written all over it, Jair had obviously already talked with Mary's dad about asking her to marry him. I'm even wondering if Josh had asked Mary before this was shot. The whole thing of him scouting out the location could have been re enacted. My main reason for thinking that is the crummy photos of the event. The show would have tried to film that or at least set his sister up with a GoPro. I'm not usually so cynical, but none of the reactions of people seemed truly spontaneous.

I still like the family. I'm hoping the show doesn't do too much fake stuff to "make good TV."

Jair openly said Mary wanted it to be private and mentioned that they had talked about it before; he also said he had talked to her dad via phone and e-mail, but wanted an official face-to-face. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Is it necessary to see the Willis boys exercise without their shirts on every week?

[becca3891]

I see so many red flags with these people. Everyone on the Duggar forum thinks they're great because they allow pants and dancing, but they're quite extreme in many ways. Those parents are controlling, and also demanding stage parents. Their remarks about rigid gender roles were troubling, and the whole concept of a home church that consists of you and one other family is very isolating and misses the point of what church is supposed to be. I think Mary made a lucky escape. They are an extreme, fame-hungry family and Jair really may need medical help. I didn't like how they glossed over depression and severe mood swings like it was just a personality thing. 

 

This show to me had "staged for reality TV" written all over it, Jair had obviously already talked with Mary's dad about asking her to marry him. 

Yes, definitely staged. I wish they wouldn't bother staging momentous moments like that which probably already happened behind closed doors. Far more real to just say in a talking head, "In private, I asked Mary's dad permission to ask her to marry me." 

 

Is it necessary to see the Willis boys exercise without their shirts on every week?

Ha. I'm not complaining but I feel quite defrauded every time I enjoy the sight. Oops, that's a Duggar word. :)

[neural-plasticity]

I agree. I have my MA in Clinical Psychology and am working on my PhD right now, and there was something about Jer that didn't sit right with me at first. He's nice and I liked that he was upfront about his anger issues, but I felt like his parents could be helping him in ways other than making him go take it out on his weight room. I could be totally wrong, though, about the vibe I got. I also wondered if that might have influenced the break up between Jer and Mary. In my opinion (and this was only from this episode because it was the only one I really watched), he seemed a little unstable.