House Of Lies - General Discussion

[whiporee]

This is a much better show than it's given credit for. Makes me laugh, has real moments, pretty good acting and good characterizations. Don't know why it's not shown more love. I like it soon much more than GFE, which I swear I'm trying hard to like, but sort of failing. 

[DarkRaichu]

I was wondering when the show would set everything back to status quo ;)

[ganesh]

Doug is typically competent at his job. The others just think it's boring and rag on him, though he can bring some of that on himself. Marty's way too success oriented to have dead weight on the team. Doug *doesn't * usually rope in clients, and he did a really good sell here. Even though Doug didn't know who she was earlier. 

 

Jeannie's interview at HR was probably the funniest bit on the episode, but I actually liked the D&D scene.

 

I don't quite know where they're going this season. I thought they might have picked up the buyout sideplot. 

[Joimiaroxeu]

Glynn Turman cuts a might fine figure for a guy pushing 70. Good on him.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

While competing for business, Marty learns Monica's been offered a deal.

 

Promo:

 

Clips:

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Turk: This shit woudn't happen at Augusta, man.

Marty: Oh, this definitely isn't August because if it was Augusta, we'd be carrying trays right now.
Turk: I wouldn't be carrying no tray. Fuck it, let's go play Augusta.
Marty: Are we going to apparate there like Harry Potter?

Turk: I forgot. You're the guy that flies around the country telling people richer than you are how to get even richer while you stay the same.

Marty: I think I recognize your foursome. It's the Monopoly guy, and that's Colonel Sanders, and the dude on the right, that's Satan.

Clyde: You know, I actually don't feel safe being in the same room with you seeing as you're a known workplace predator.
Jeannie: Would you just show me one sexy ball on the way out, Clyde?

Grant: Marty Kahn, once again sticking it right in my fucking ass. You told me that I would have autonomy within my team.
Marty: And you believed me, even after you tried to kill me.

Jeannie: You're not a people person, Marty.
Marty: Really, you think?
Jeannie: I think you need help.

Yurgen: Good, cool, great, awesome, and other superlatives.

Sean: Holocracy is how we're going to evolve as a species. No boundaries, no hierarchies, no titles.

Clyde: Shit, I forgot my Satanist outfit.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Quote

Marty reunites with a pair of obnoxious former clients to expand the business of a cruise line; Clyde hinders Doug's high-seas fantasy; Jeannie gets emotional.

Promo:

Clips:

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Doug's bucket list:
go through the car wash with the windows open
act in an episode of Bones
send a message in a bottle
witness a miracle
watch the movie "The Bucket List"
receive oral sex in a revolving restaurant
give a TED talk

Clyde: Do you remember when we were doing that economics problem set together?
Bronwyn: Of course. I got really frustrated and then yelled, "Fuck me blind!"
Clyde: Then out of nowhere, Ken pops his head out of some other room and is like "Get me a blindfold!"
Bronwyn: Yes, a lot of confidence for a bald 19 year old.

Realtor: We're thinking about adopting a black baby too. Where's yours from?
Jeannie: My vagina.

Marty: We will sleep easy at night knowing at the very least we fucked over a dude who murdered his own wife.
Clyde: Whoa, Marty. I don't like what you're implying about our judicial system. He was acquitted.
Jeannie: Their fights were epic and she stood to win a lot in that divorce, but what reasonable person wouldn't conclude she sleptwalked off the balcony?
Doug: How amazing would it be to be so rich you could get away with killing your wife?
[Marty, Clyde, and Jeannie turn around]

Clyde: Hey, remember when that crazy girl stabbed you in the leg?
Monica: I will cut your dick off and I will stir my champagne with it.

Hathaway: I'm not averse to increasing profits, but art wasn't meant to be consumed like a quiz on buzzfeed or a cat playing the piano.

Marty: Try not to get murdered!
Doug: Avoid the balcony!
Clyde: Have fun with OJ!

Hathaway: It's such a beautiful night and there's a full moon.I think we should go up to the roof.
Jeannie: You know, I'm not that into the moon.
Hathaway: Not into the moon or not into going up to the roof with a man who's been accused of pushing someone off a high balcony?
Jeannie: Little bit of both.
Hathaway: Don't worry. I only kill my wives.

Clyde: Hold up, he actually said that? He told you that you look like his wife?
Jeannie: It sounds creepier than it was.
Marty: Did he say the one that he maybe killed or the one that he definitely killed?
Jeannie: I didn't ask.
Marty: Well, that's smart.
Doug: Okay, you're on the roof at this point. How'd you get out of there?
Jeannie: I just put my clothes on and left.

Receptionist: You can't go back there!
Jeannie: It's okay. We know each other.
Clyde: She fucked him last night on the roof of the Met so we're good. Thank you though.

Seth: She's pretty, Bronwyn, and smart. That's why you're here, isn't it?
Clyde: I also heard there was free food.
Seth: But I'm fairly certain Bronwyn is a lesbian.
Clyde: Nope, absolutely not.
Seth: Actually, I'm certain that she's a lesbian because I officiated her wedding. To Katie. Who is a woman.
Clyde: So lesbian AND married? Fantastic.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

First, Kristen Bell was rocking that Zuhair Murad dress!

Secondly, it was nice to see Ed Weeks. I think he got to do more as a one episode guest star on this show than he's done in all of 4B of The Mindy Project where he's technically a regular.

As much as I love Marty's dad as a character, I'm glad he finally told Marty it's time for him to parent his own kids.

I like Clyde becoming a political advisor. I'm actually surprised that he had to be talked into it.

Ugh, Doug and his TED talk are already unbearable. I know I should feel bad for Doug because the others are always picking on him but good lord. When he told Jeannie that she could have given her baby to him and his nutjob wife, I just laughed. Seriously?

I love how much Monica hates K&A. Clyde reminding her about when "that crazy girl" stabbed her in the leg totally cracked me up, as did Monica's response.

Edited May 2, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[DarkRaichu]

6 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Ugh, Doug and his TED talk are already unbearable. I know I should feel bad for Doug because the others are always picking on him but good lord. When he told Jeannie that she could have given her baby to him and his nutjob wife, I just laughed. Seriously?

I am just counting the moments until he destroys the good thing going on in his life.

[40Love]

Favorite scene: Marty and boys discussing the possibility of Jennie getting killed. Hilarious! Love Don Cheadle's "Nah, she's gonna be ah-ite." Lol!

[ganesh]

I don't know who the actor is playing Tess. I usually can recognize actors from somewhere, but she's hawt #shallow.

Quote

I love how much Monica hates K&A. Clyde reminding her about when "that crazy girl" stabbed her in the leg totally cracked me up, as did Monica's response.

I was hoping we'd have Monica return. The actor is so great spitting out her lines. She's such a snake and just a great foil for the team.

Doug being in all "Ted talk" mode was really funny. I like when Marty "plays" along with Doug. 

The strength of the show is really the main four. I know it's kind of contrived to get Jeannie back on the team so fast, but they really need to be all together. 

I don't know that Marty's "skated by" with Roscoe. Marty's done a good job imo. Yes, his dad has also taken on a fair share. I get that he needed to say it, but I don't think that Marty was that checked out. 

Quote

I like Clyde becoming a political advisor. I'm actually surprised that he had to be talked into it.

That was really interesting. I hope it continues. And Dennis from It's Always Sunny is the candidate?! #mindblown

[topanga]

On 5/5/2016 at 8:30 PM, 40Love said:

Favorite scene: Marty and boys discussing the possibility of Jennie getting killed. Hilarious! Love Don Cheadle's "Nah, she's gonna be ah-ite." Lol!

And I loved Marty's line "Clyde, you know we really don't want Jeannie to be killed, right?"

 

Quote

The strength of the show is really the main four. I know it's kind of contrived to get Jeannie back on the team so fast, but they really need to be all together. 

I agree. I realized in the scenes with the four of them that this is when the show is most magical. The rapid-fire banter among them is a well-oiled machine at this point. Although it was great even in the first episodes of Season 1, back in the pod. 

But I'm surprised Marty brought Jeannie back into K & A so quickly. Even though she's Phoebe's mother, and he still seems to genuinely care about her as a person, I wonder if Marty will ever be able to forgive her for calling the Feds on him. Last season when he wanted her gone, he wanted her gone. Did he only change his mind because realized Phoebe's mother needs to have a job?

Edited May 7, 2016 by topanga

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Quote

Marty's entree into a new market his a snag. Roscoe lands his first gig.

Promo:

 

Clips:

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Keegan-Michael Key on Devin Townsend:

[topanga]

The Douchebag twins! They are so annoying, but surprisingly fun to watch. 

I don't like it when Doug acts stupid, as he did with the captain. 

And I like serious Clyde. His arguments with Marty about why he and Doug should have been made partners already were totally on point.

Favorite lines of the night:  "Did we drunk-dial our baby?"  "We did."

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jeannie: So what's the term if it happens out at sea? Is it still considered stalking?
Clyde: I'd call it sea stalking.

Marty: "So much fun, you'll ship your pants."

Doug: Would you mind me citing your story in my upcoming TED talk?
Clyde: Omigawd, Douglas, are you giving a TED talk? Why wouldn't you tell anybody? We would have loved to have known about that.
Doug: Part of my talk is about overcoming adversity and I think your story, captain, would be an inspirational example.
Captain Megan: I'm sorry, what? My story of adversity?
Doug: Well, yeah, You know, being a woman.
[Marty chokes on his drink while laughing]

Clyde: Right over there dressed in suits made of cartoons.
[Clyde points at the Dushkin brothers]

CEO: You're suggesting that I expand business dealings with the Dushkins. Have you spent time with these men?
Marty: Yes, they're assholes.
Clyde: I'm going to stop you there. They're HUGE assholes.

CEO: [The Dushkins] won't even sign their contract on this ship until the demands on their rider are met.
Marty: They have a rider?
CEO: Oh yeah. Let me just read you a couple highlights. A private helicopter to and from the boat. Flying lessons. One live in masseuse. In parentheses: "hot." One live in chef. In parenthese: "hot."

Dushkin: Last night some old dude told us he got an under the table handie from his wife.

Dushkin: We kind of doubled down on our cologne, Snatch.

Doug: Denying it makes me think he really did when he actually didn't.
Jeannie: That makes sense.
Marty: Yeah, smart.

Doug: I'M KING OF THE SHIP!
Club guy: That's not the line, asshole!

Doug: I'm just a boy standing in front of a ship captain.

Doug: You know, I went my whole life without being incarcerated.
Clyde: Incarcerated? They put you in a room and demagnetized your key card.

Jeannie: Aren't you glad you made them both partners?
Marty: I did what now?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I can enjoy the Dushkins from the safety of my home but I understand the horror that K&A feel when faced with them in person. THE WORST! I was cracking up at one of the twins in the dining room wearing his swim trunks and an unbuttoned shirt. The other guy's pants were amazing. I bet the wardrobe people have so much fun finding outfits for these guys.

Loved Clyde and Doug drinking Jeannie's drunk breast milk.

[DarkRaichu]

15 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Loved Clyde and Doug drinking Jeannie's drunk breast milk.

I wonder what the alcohol content of the milk.  Was it enough to mask the taste? :P

Edited May 10, 2016 by DarkRaichu

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I think they were too drunk to care at that point!

[ganesh]

On 5/9/2016 at 6:48 AM, topanga said:

I don't like it when Doug acts stupid, as he did with the captain. 

I'm the captain now! No, but that was stupid. Doug needs to get over being jealous of Clyde.

I was impressed with the team to put together the whole deal though. 

Drunk Jeannie just kills. KB was fantastic at playing 'drunk enough'. "Put on the fucking baby." "Be nice." "Put on the fucking baby please."

I didn't realize they were going to drink the milk. There's no way I could drink that after doing shots. And Jeannie was *so mad* Clyde lost. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Quote

Marty tries to sell a client on a new idea. Doug delivers his Ted Talk.

Promo:

 

Clips:

 

[topanga]

On 5/10/2016 at 0:46 PM, DarkRaichu said:

I wonder what the alcohol content of the milk.  Was it enough to mask the taste? :P

Mileage varies. But there are studies out there suggesting that babies are affected when their mothers drink alcholol then breastfeed. Enough studies that the "experts" advise breastfeeding women not to drink. 

Edited May 16, 2016 by topanga

[luckyroll3]

The look of horror on Wanda Syke's face as dude put his hand all up in her hair....priceless!!  And so true that any black man would so know better.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Great episode. Nice subtle side-eye at that nutbag Rachel Dolezal and her trying to pass for Black. Also a timely reference to Clarence Thomas' "high-tech lynching" nonsense that was revisited recently with the HBO movie "Confirmation".

Quote

The look of horror on Wanda Syke's face as dude put his hand all up in her hair....priceless!!

I cringed just watching it happen. Hope Wanda was wearing a wig for that scene because if not, ugh.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Is it wrong that I'm excited that Doug's TED talk is going to be an absolute clusterfuck of a trainwreck?

[Gulftastic]

20 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

The look of horror on Wanda Syke's face as dude put his hand all up in her hair....priceless!!  And so true that any black man would so know better.

I also enjoyed the looks of astonishment when he was praising 'The Legend Of Bagger Vance'. 

[jenrising]

6 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Is it wrong that I'm excited that Doug's TED talk is going to be an absolute clusterfuck of a trainwreck?

Not wrong at all. Certain to amuse and horrify. I was kind of hoping the whole episode would be the talk.

[whiporee]

Just got cancelled. Too bad. a much better show than it's given credit for being. 

[Joimiaroxeu]

That's too bad. At least it seems to be going out on a good turn.

[topanga]

I wish this show were an hour long. The 29 minutes go by much too quickly. 

I liked the writing as usual, and Keegan MK did a great job, although it was hard for me to totally get into his story since he's black IRL (or biracial). 

And I wonder if Roscoe knew that Marty didn't show up at the photo shoot just to laugh at him (although he did plenty of that). He was there to support him, too.

And Jeannie herself should know to stay away from the mayoral candidate. He's a nice guy, and Jeannie doesn't like nice guys--not for long, anyway. Yes, she could be jeopardizing Clyde's career by dating him. I wish she would realize that. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Seth: When we stop shooting for the moon, we die as a society.
Jeannie: If I weren't holding this bagel, I would slow clap the shit out of this moment. Clyde, we're getting ready to head out. You two will have to continue crafting empty promises later.
Seth: Wait a minute. What makes you think they're empty?
Jeannie: I've been alive.

Doug: Wow, can you believe all these free samples?
Clyde: Douglas, those are for black hair. What in the fuck are you going to do with curling custard?
Doug: I'm grabbing all these for Tess. She gets a little kinky in the mornings, and I don't mean the sex. I also mean the sex. Vegetables - they're not just for salad anymore.

Rita: If y'all are still hungry, I left a sack of dicks you can munch on back at the clubhouse.

Rita: That fake negro had his hand all up in my hair. Unless you're my stylist and I'm sitting in your chair, I don't give a fuck what you do for a living - you do not touch a black woman's hair. Even you know that, Marty, and you don't even date black women.
Marty: I-
Rita: Stop.

Rita: Now which one of you ass clowns wants to be the mystical caddy in my Bagger Vance?

Doug: Well, the good news is Devin is, in fact, African American.
Marty: And the bad news?
Doug: African American in that his family emigrated from Capetown. I'd say his complexion is more de Klerk than Mandela.

Jeannie: All your paling around with this guy and your blackdar never went off?
Marty: What about your whitedar? It's pretty fucking defective too. This guy's one of yours.

Doug: I don't know why any white person would want to be black. There's sports, of course - basketball, marathon running, all of that jazz. There's another one! Jazz.

Jeannie: It seems like you really don't want me to go out with [Seth]. Good. Cause I'm going to fuck his brains out. Are you cool if we use your bed?
Clyde: You're kidding, right?
Jeannie: Am I?

Devin: I applied to Wharton three times as a white guy and was denied admission. I checked African American the fourth time around, got right in.
Marty: Will white men ever catch a break?

Devin: In a lot of ways, I'm blacker than you.
Marty: Yeah, except in one small but kind of crucial way, Devin. You're not actually black.
Devin: But I am where it counts the most, you feel me?
Marty: Omigawd, please tell me you're not talking about your dick right now.

Roscoe: Dad, being straight edge is more than just veganism and abstinence. It's about subversion of dominant culture. Modeling doesn't give off the right message.
Marty: Does this have anything to do with the fact that your modeling gig is for the Sears catalog?

Marty: I don't want you just to pack it in because fame and success isn't being handed to you. Sometimes you gotta eat some shit. The trick is to figure out the minimum amount of shit you've got to eat and still get what you want.

Seth: Jeannie, so glad I ran into you!
Jeannie: Right outside of my office. What are the odds of that?
Seth: Some might call that fate.
Jeannie: Or stalking.

Devin: This is a high tech lynching.
Clyde: Really? It feels kind of low tech to me. That's just a jpeg, right?
Devin: Come on, man, I thought you were smarter than this.
Marty: And I thought you were black. Whoops.

Jean-Michel: You're fired.
Marty: You may want to rethink that. Firing the black consultant who told you about the white man you hired pretending to be black?

Devin: Planet Curl may be the chocolate chip cookies but I'm the white guts that's holding it all together and making it delicious! I'm the real Oreo, not a fake Oreo like Marty.
Marty: Wow, did you even hear what you just said?

Marty: At least you get to go back to being white. I'd try only one chai latte a day though. You don't want to rush it. White people, how much NPR are we thinking?
Clyde: Start with one hour a week of This American Life.
 

Edited May 19, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo
Because they're chocolate chip cookies, not chocolate cookies

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Even though I'd already seen him put his hand in her hair during the promo so I knew it was coming, I cringed again when I saw it in the episode. And as someone who likes my personal space, I'd like to add that aside from your hairdresser, no one should go around touching other people's hair without permission. Just so fucking rude! I would never do that to some woman I had just met while playing golf - or in any other situation, including when I'm at the hair salon and I'm admiring the hair of the person sitting in the chair next to me. What is wrong with people?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I like this show but even when I was watching S1, I didn't think it would last. I'm surprised that they got five seasons.

[topanga]

I will miss the funny, smart writing. I hope Kristen Bell gets a good gig.  She's too talented an actress for some of those rom-com clunkers she made. And Don Cheadle, of course. He tends to stay working. 

And the rest of the cast--I wish them well n their careers. 

[topanga]

Loved your quotes, ElectricBoogaloo. Don Cheadle's line delivery is always amazing. I'd forgotten he said "Whoops" during the episode. And now that I think it about, he said it the exact same way he did when he played Snoopy in "Out of Sight."

And my son uses curling custard!  That reference is golden.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Quote

Marty must deal with a boy band. Doug copes with post-Ted Talk "fame."

Promo:

 

Clips:
 

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Marty: Now, kiddies, you remember back in the day you had a guy in your dorm who sold you those sketch dimebags of weed from his shitty hydroponic plants he grew in his bathtub?
Clyde: One hundred percent. His name was Jonah. I think it may have been the closest I've ever been to blowing a dude.
Jeannie: His name was Octavio. I definitely blew him.
Doug: Spencer, and I reported him. He was a menace.

Max: You guys have all heard the phrase "high as a kite." What's more beautiful than a kite flying in the sky?
Clyde: Maybe two kites?
Doug: Jeannie naked? Different Jeannie. You don't know her.

Jeannie: I see what you need.
Doug: Ear plugs?
Jeannie: You and Clyde - that's the love story! I see inner children and they want the same thing. They both just want to fill the holes. You know, where the love goes. You could fill each other's holes.
Doug: It's not like I never thought about it, but no.

Marty: You're letting your feelings tell you a story. You can't let feelings make business decisions.

Max: History's greatest thinkers got high - Shakespeare, Joan of Arc, George Washington. And he invented peanut butter.
Doug: Woooow, although I don't think so. I think that's George Washington Carver.
Max: Well, he wrote the Constitution.

Doug: No, no, no, we don't eat dogs.
Jeannie: He asked me to.
Doug: You don't just eat everything that asks you to.

Ron: Is this a load bearing wall?
Marty: Are you picturing a Marty-less world, Ron?
Ron: Imagination is actualization, Marty.

Jeannie: I feel like I'm about to watch a tiny Christian get eaten by a lion.
Clyde: I'm feeling funny in my naughty place.

Tess: You'll be amazing. You are a dungeon master. You are a genius.
Doug: I know that, but what if I'm a misunderstood genius like Carrot Top?

Doug: Today I'm going to share with you how to embrace your authentic self by defeating the level 9 orc of doubt that lives inside each and every one of us.

Doug: In the quest to find your authentic self, it is better to merge powers with an orc than to fight it.

Marty: It's not about David versus Goliath. No, David with Goliath. David holding hands with Goliath. David giving Goliath a reach around. Am I spitting wisdom right now? Yes! Do you guys need each other right now? Yes. Am I high as fuck right now? Yes! But am I making one hundred total complete sense right now? ........YES! Yes, I am. At the end of the day, let's face it, it's better to merge powers with an orc than to fight it.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I'm disappointed that Doug's TED talk wasn't a total disaster. Does that make me an awful person? I hope Tess dumps his ungrateful ass for blowing off the celebratory dinner she planned (especially since she is the only reason he got to do his stupid orc talk in the first place).

[DarkRaichu]

6 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

I'm disappointed that Doug's TED talk wasn't a total disaster. Does that make me an awful person? I hope Tess dumps his ungrateful ass for blowing off the celebratory dinner she planned (especially since she is the only reason he got to do his stupid orc talk in the first place).

Classic Doug.  He could never see the good thing going on for him.  I agreed with Jeannie that Clyde is Doug's true wuv / end game. :D

Things have been too good for Marty as of late.  I wonder how things will blow up by season's end.

Edited May 23, 2016 by DarkRaichu

[ganesh]

Tess is smoking hot and I would be doing everything she told me. I figured Doug's talk would be ridiculous and no one would get it but would think it was probably important. I was hoping it would be worse. He did slice his hand on the sword. 

I love that Jeannie becomes so chatty when she's high. I had a roommate like that. He didn't really ramble either. Just talked a lot. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Quote

Marty attempts to get K&A back into consideration for a buyout. Jeannie has a difficult time spending a day outside the office. Computer network issues lead to a discovery.

Promo:

 

Clips:

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Marty: There's an apostrophe between the D and the ream? So it's Duh-ream Out Loud.
Ron: You don't hear the apostrophe. You just say dream. Say dream.
Marty: Dream.
Ron: No. One more time. Dream.
Marty: Dream.
Ron: I can still hear the apostrophe.
Marty: Are you fucking with me, Ron?
Ron: Yes, I am.
Marty: Please leave my office. Right out the d'oor.

Clyde: Quick question - how many twitter followers did you have before the TED talk?
Doug: Wow, that takes me back.125.
Clyde: And you have 136 now.
Doug: Yeah.
Clyde: 11 new fans!
Doug: That's right.
Clyde: Have you considered extra security?

Clyde: Did you have pancakes or waffles or did you do both?
Doug: You can't have pancakes and waffles, Clyde. Are you fucking crazy?

Jeannie: Fuck you both. I'm a delight.

Marty: Oh, Douglas. You fantasy is finally coming true. We are going to meet with a boy band.
Doug: Very funny. Not even close. The puerile sounds of boy bands are poison to my ears and the only antidote? Steely Dan.
Clyde: You like yacht rock. Shocker.

Jeannie: Tell me again why we're chasing the pale imitation of New Kids on the Block.

JR: The real star of the group is that guy, Connor Sands. He's the newer, shinier version of Harry Styles.
Jeannie: He's no Jordan Knight.
Marty: Yeah, definitely tell him that.

Marty: Apparently [D'ream Out Loud] is sitting out their current deal so they can be free to do whatever the fuck it is retired teen idols do.
Doug: I can tell you what Joey Fatone did.
Clyde: Ruined My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Yeah, we got it, Doug. Jesus Christ, shut up about that.
Doug: Well, he did.

D'ream Out Loud Guy: Should we do two on two [air hockey]? Us against glasses and jewfro.
Clyde: Wow, can't pass that up.

Sam: Damn, girl, why are you dressed like we're at a business meeting or something?
Jeannie: Uh, because we're at a business meeting.
Sam: Yo, you need some bling. I'm going to win you a necklace.

D'ream Out Loud Guy: Look, it's like we sing in the song "Follow Your Heart," you gotta follow your heart.
Clyde: Oh, those are the lyrics?
Doug: Is that what it means?

[Jeannie dumps Clyde's phone in a glass of water]
Clyde: Do you have any dry rice?
Dave & Buster's waitress: No, but we have spicy Thai peanut noodles.

Connor: I've been an asshole and I'm sorry.
Sam: Yeah, you've been a real fucking asshole.
Connor: Yeah, I know. You're totally right. But you're my bro, bro.

Tess: Make me a dungeon master or I'll leave K&A.

Marty: The point is money, Jeannie.
Jeannie: We already have a lot of money, Marty. More money isn't going to make you any happier.
Marty: You know what? Maybe you're right. But winning will.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Boy band vs the mayor! It's not quite as awesome as Jeannie stabbing Monica, but it was pretty hilarious.

Jeannie's boyfriend can go fuck himself for using her like that. "I'm dating a single mom so I see the struggle she goes through." Ugh, he's probably one of those guys who says, "But I have a black friend!" too.

I found it hilarious that Jeannie's crisis of conscience was because there's no point to screwing people over if they're just planning to sell the company to Skip Galwather. If they were keeping K&A, then tricking Sam into signing with the band so Connor could do his solo album would have been totally fine!

[ganesh]

Business-wise, I can't believe they got the band to sign for 5 years. That was a good plan on Marty's part. I'm highly doubtful they have that much shelf life anyway.

I think Jeannie was more pissed off about everything else going on than the contract. We'll see if a potential billion dollars doesn't snap her out of it. 

I usually defend Doug, but what an idiot. You were outkicking your coverage by about 50 miles, and by far no one else is ever going to come close. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

SERIES FINALE!

Quote

The Pod heads to Havana, Cuba, where they all must reevaluate their personal and professional futures.

Promo:

 

Clips:

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Behind the scenes: filming the finale in Cuba:

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Doug: You're creeping me out. What's up?
Clyde: Seth Buckley's leading the polls and by extension...
Doug: Your penis?
Clyde: My penis.
Doug: What a shock.
Clyde: Slapping around that boy band has turned Seth into a social media sensation.
Doug: Can I give you a little word of advice?
Clyde: I really just came in here to gloat. I don't care about your advice.
Doug: Proceed with caution, my friend. Social media can be a fickle mistress. One minute you're being called the king of TED talk and the next, vagbreath69 is telling you to choke on a druid's cock cock.

IT girl: What's the back story on you clicking on quick snatch alert?
Doug: What?
IT girl: Don't sweat it, man. You're into sex. That's cool.
Doug: Yeah?
IT girl: Douchebag.

Skip: Did you ever watch Gilligan's Island?
Marty: Did I ever watch Gilligan's Island? What?
Skip: Man, I loved that show. There was this one episode where this Japanese sailor gets washed up onto shore. He was played by this white actor - Coke bottle glasses and ching chong accent. Super racist.
Marty: Hilarious.

Jeannie: Jesus, Doug, of all the ways you could have fucked over this company-
Clyde: This is by far the least surprising.

Doug: It's supposed to rain early next week. Should I be packing an umbrella?
Jeannie: I don't know, Douglas. If it rains, you can always buy an umbrella in Cuba.
Doug: Can I? It's a communist country. Are umbrellas even available?

Kol brother 1: When I was 8 and Sean was 9, our father locked us in our room. He told us there was only one candy bar and said whichever one of us was standing in an hour got it.
Doug: What kind of candy bar?

Kol brother 1: We're vigilant about not forgetting that lesson.
Jeannie: That's why you still beat the shit out of each other.
Clyde: It's always nice to hold on to a piece of your childhood.

Kol brother 1: Our grandfather had substantial holdings [in Cuba], all repatriated after the revolution. Fucking communists stole our birthright. We're going to take back what's ours.

Seth: You know what I can't wait to do? Trade in my boring old scissors for those giant ribbon cutting ones.

Jeannie: Let's say we win, okay? Great, we win. Monica's bleeding out. We've pounded Skip into a fine dust. Then what?
Marty: We mix the the dust and the blood, put it in a goblet, and drink it.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Quote

I'm surprised that they got five seasons.

I am too. The average working person probably has been touched in some way the actions of a shady/greedy/callous management consulting firm but the average person probably couldn't recognize one by name. I always thought it was quite a niche concept to base a show on. Good on Don Cheadle for stepping outside the usual roles and making it work.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

OF COURSE Monica was able to trick Doug into compromising K&A's network by having him click on some sex link!