Small Talk: Ughngnggh! Ugghhnnn!

[CarpeDiem54]

Glad you had a good time, IrishMaple! I like taking photos (and am quite good at it, for some strange reason), but I don't like being in the photos. I don't like taking them to the extent that I miss out on the experience.

Great idea, kikismom. I also like to chat up the breakfast waitstaff or hotel maids to find out about the best local places.

Edited February 1, 2015 by CarpeDiem54

[kikismom]

Glad you had a good time, IrishMaple! I like taking photos (and am quite good at it, for some strange reason), but I don't like being in the photos. I don't like taking them to the extent that I miss out on the experience.

Thank God someone is good at it. Something weird happens in my head and my photos are always on a slant, or murky-dim. You can do my portrait after I turn into a walker.

I learned an interesting trick though. Take a magazine cover or something with a person's face, and try to draw it with pencil on a scratch pad. It usually turns out kind of wonky. Then turn the picture upside down, and try again. It often comes out much better.

I can also do the Jumble in the newspaper puzzle section much faster when I look at the mixed-up letters upside down.

Maybe my head is a pinhole camera. Or not.

[CarpeDiem54]

Oh! A new post ZA career - photographer to the walker celebrities. I have no idea why my photos come out well. I've gotten some absolutely stunning shots using my plain little Kodak point and shoot. They surprise me.

[Too Late Kev]

You know those magazines where they show the stars w/o makeup? If the zombie apocalypse came on kind of slow and they had a few editions of those magazines before society fell apart, we could have "Stars w/o Brains! Which of Your Favorite Stars are Walkers Now?"

[BrokenRemote]

Glad you had a good time, IrishMaple! I like taking photos (and am quite good at it, for some strange reason), but I don't like being in the photos. I don't like taking them to the extent that I miss out on the experience.

Great idea, kikismom. I also like to chat up the breakfast waitstaff or hotel maids to find out about the best local places.

I'm the same with photos. I like to take them and I fancy I'm good at it. I had a travel guide see my photos of one of the cemeteries in New Orleans online and ask to use some of them in their guide. I'm usually just keeping one eye out while I'm doing whatever it is I'm enjoying in case I spot a view that makes a unique shot. However I did notice recently that I do have a lot of cemetery photos...

ETA One week to go! We're in the home stretch!

Edited February 1, 2015 by BrokenRemote

[maplebrew]

Photography and me do not get along. Took a passport photo this weekend. I'm a law abiding citizen but the photo makes me look like a horror movie axe murderer. 

 

Well, the Super Bowl is on tonight. I have zero interest in it. Guess I'll have to find something productive to do. 

[kikismom]

Photography and me do not get along. Took a passport photo this weekend. I'm a law abiding citizen but the photo makes me look like a horror movie axe murderer. 

I know, right? Do you suppose there is something wrong with my camera?

[CarpeDiem54]

LOL!

I don't like being in photos either. I could weigh 90 lbs and still look like Jabba the Hutt's twin sister. My passport photo makes me look like a blonde middle-aged terrorist with itchy hemorrhoids.

[BrokenRemote]

kikismon, I want to party with you someday! Just choked on a Pop Tart (breakfast of champions).

P.S. My driver's license photo ( finally broke down and gave up the one from when I was 20) looks like someone you'd see in a mug shot on thesmokinggun.com

Edited February 2, 2015 by BrokenRemote

[nachomama]

My new "refirbished" computer died so I hsvf been lost since last Wednesday. I watched several episodes of WD marathon yesterday. Saw Carl get shot. Otis get Otis'd. ONE WEEK! Excited for better call Saul too.

Super Bowl commercials were meh. I did my taxes and I'm angry that I owe for state. And had a penalty for withdrawing Some.

I'm glad I could help ghoulina, I always debate of I should sprinkle cereal in the milk and scoop or dip a spoon of cereal into milk. Cap'n crunch is thr only legal cereal by the way. Everything else is an abomination especially raisin bran.

[BrokenRemote]

Glad you're back, nachomama!  All hands must be on deck for the next episode!  Did you get the refurbished beast going again?

[walnutqueen]

True confession time here, my peeps - and it isn't pretty, because I may have been mean to a kid yesterday.  I was in the grocery checkout line on their scooter (foot is STILL fucked up - 32 days o'pain & counting!), listening to a shrill annoying little kid's voice yelling at everyone in the store ... "Hi, hi, hi , hi, hi, why, why, why, why" and then some truly obnoxious comments.  Then I get grabbed by the arm by said child, and she keeps tugging at me saying hi again.  I say hello and extricate my arm, frantically searching around for her custodians to no avail.  She then smacks me on my sore shoulder and when I turn my head she blows hard right in my face (and she's like 2 inches away from me standing on the footboard of my scooter).  I tell her not to blow into people's faces - it is rude.  She says she's blowing me a kiss.  I tell her she shouldn't do that to strangers and to go find her parents.  Now, I've spent YEARS avoiding people and their germs (haven't had a cold or flu in over 7 years), and I was thinking if that little bitch gave me something, I'm a'goona be PISSED!  So I'm a beeotch, fer sure ... but people ought to control their kids.   [/rant]

 

After I got home and decontaminated, I started drinking and watching TWD marathon, just to ward off any bad kid germs I may have inadvertently inhaled.  :-)

[BrokenRemote]

If nobody else understands, I do, walnutqueen.  I ride the city bus to work, and people tend to use the disabled-accessible seats up front for "let's let the kids sprawl out and take up 4 seats each and ignore them while we chat" space.  I never want to be rude to someone's kid, but it's really hard to just sit there when a kid comes up and hits you on a swollen knee or pulls your hair when you're already in so much pain that just getting out of the damned house nearly did you in.  And you're not supposed to cry out or anything, because that might upset Snowflake; you're supposed to just smile and let them do whatever it is they're doing because even if you ask them nicely to stop, that will be the moment when the missing parent will suddenly decide to become interested just in time to fly at you for speaking to their precious.  Kids can't help being germ factories, but parents can keep them from spreading everything everywhere. I cringe when a kid (or an adult) coughs in my face or blows their nose and then puts a hand on me.  Sure, it's not a huge deal for most people but it can be dangerous for some of us who can't always hide away from the world.   But people treat you like a lunatic if you try to calmly explain all that.  (I am not talking all kids.  Most parents keep their kids from hitting strangers or blowing snot bubbles at them, but there are a few out there...)

 

Don't get me started on the scooters.  I went so long limping through the grocery store on days I could barely walk because I hear people laughing all the time about the 'lazy jerks on scooters'.  When I put on some weight after 5 months of being confined to bed and pumped full of steroids it was especially nice hearing people make comments about how stupid people wouldn't need scooters if they'd just get off their fat asses and get some exercise.  And the worst part is being treated like you're not there if you're in a wheelchair or using a scooter.  People sucking through their teeth because they're stuck behind you or stepping in front of you causing a near-collision because they might have to wait an extra few seconds to get to the tomato soup.  I was in a wheelchair for a year some time back, and I had never before appreciated how invisible it makes you.

 

(Sorry, sore spot.  Short version--I hope you didn't catch anything, and you're not a beeotch at all!  Think happy germ-murdering thoughts...)

Edited February 2, 2015 by BrokenRemote

[walnutqueen]

Thanks for that, BrokenRemote.  People really DO suck sometimes; even moreso if you're partially disabled (or old, or both).  :-)

 

Those grocery store scooters have saved my life, and the lives of the critters who rely on me to feed them.  I am so enamored of them, it will be difficult to give them up when (and IF) my foot gets better.  I'll be sorely tempted to wear the walking boot and/or knee brace on days I'm just too fucking tired to tramp the miles through the Walmart, just to have an excuse to use them again!!!  heh

[Nashville]

kikismon, I want to party with you someday! Just choked on a Pop Tart (breakfast of champions).

P.S. My driver's license photo ( finally broke down and gave up the one from when I was 20) looks like someone you'd see in a mug shot on thesmokinggun.com

My college student ID and drivers license pictures from back in my 20s looks like a cross between Charles Manson and Weird Al Yankovic (back when he still had glasses - think UHF).

[CarpeDiem54]

walnutqueen, I really do need to come out to Grey Gardens, if nothing else but to smack the living shit out of that brat for you. WTF? Did the monster's parent ever show up or did they just drop them off at the store to terrorize innocent bystanders?

I hope you didn't catch some horrible eye-bleeding flu from the little bastard. Yeah, I'm a bitch, too.

[walnutqueen]

walnutqueen, I really do need to come out to Grey Gardens, if nothing else but to smack the living shit out of that brat for you. WTF? Did the monster's parent ever show up or did they just drop them off at the store to terrorize innocent bystanders?

I hope you didn't catch some horrible eye-bleeding flu from the little bastard. Yeah, I'm a bitch, too.

 

CarpeDiem54 - I would've smacked the little shit myself, but didn't want to be made into a new TV series (The Slap).  Never saw the parents - chickenshits would've had a piece of my mind and then some, but were most likely hiding from their own child.  I am currently on deathwatch - alert for any sign of the crud, consuming copious quantities of natural vitamin C, drinking sherry to kill any errant bugs, and praying the measles vaccination I got in the 50s is still good.  :-)

Edited February 2, 2015 by walnutqueen

[Nashville]

I'm envisioning hordes of parents who, when corporal punishment fell out of favor, said to themselves: " Well, hell - if I can't whip the little shit to make him behave, *I* don't know what to do with him. I'm done with his ass. Y'ALL deal with him."

[nachomama]

I used to get huffy about wilding children because I know my parents Didnt tolerate foolishness. We weren't allowed to wander off or bounce off the walls. Then someone reminded me of my weird tantrums. I was too painfully shy to ever speak to a stranger (my parents actually though I would ride the short bus to school because I didn't speak til I was 5) that's a whooooole 'nother story But people let their kids do amazing stuff and never bat an eye. I think they no longer hear their kids either the whining or non stop talking.

I won't have my computer back for a week at least. I'm typing on my phone so excuse the auto corrects and weird capitals.

[Too Late Kev]

Your typing is fine, nachomama. On another forum I frequent, there's someone whose posts are full of really weird mistakes, whole words and names that are really off. It's hard to read the posts, but I don't want to say anything like, "Hey, could you proofread??" because I don't know if English is the person's second (third?) language or something. Awkward!

 

One of my kids has a very obvious case of Asperger's, so I'm used to mouthing "Sorry" at people. Fun, fun. ;)

[Anela]

I've heard of watermelons as a sun-warmed 1-holer. A cucumber is a bit tricky.

For us ladies, however, EK says we need a "blankie":    http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/emilykinney/justpretend.html

 

Bacon is from the fatty pork belly---which is why the swamp walker tore open Dale's abdomen: Mmmm! Yummm! Beggin' Strips! Baconbaconbacon!

 

 

 

I've been re-watching TWD and at first I thought you were referring to all those symbolismy shots of ants scrambling on a tree branch as Rick and Crazy Clara walk underneath.

My favorite part of that scene is where Clara points Rick to where her beloved Eddie is and she says : It's just ahead.

IT'S JUST A-HEAD!

 

 

Talk about goofballs! It's still quite early; have you been letting your orange juice ferment again?

I'd forgotten all about her. I immediately thought of Return of the Living Dead Part 2, with the talking zombie head, that they stick a screwdriver into. "Well, get the danged screwdriver *out* of my *head*!" ha! 

[nachomama]

I feel very bob cratchett. It's freakin cold in my office. No computer. Boss Scrooge mcduck needs to turn on heat and buy better computers. I haven't watched my shows!

[JBody]

I've missed everyone here.  Have I missed TWD?  Well, let me tell you a little story.  Me and DH got hooked after the first season and waiting patiently every Sunday for S2's (sometimes dismal) offerings.  For years we suffered through the excruciating big and little breaks.  We watched countless reruns of eps we'd already seen numerous times.  I scavenged for every spoiler I could find.  This all went down until S5.  I haven't even thought about TWD after the mid-season finale of stupidity and it's kind of sad, in a way.  But it's also a huge relief.  DH and I are still zombieheads so we watch practically anything Z-related including the shitastic "films" put out by The Asylum which brings me to....  Z Nation.  I know, I know, ZN is the cheapie Big Mac to TWD's expensive prime rib, but here is my little list of reasons why I enjoyed binge-watching ZN through the doldrums of this winter's mid-season break.  I was surprised to find I actually enjoyed watching it more than I had been enjoying TWD's S5.  The horror.

 

The Positives of ZN

 

1. The characters don't stay in one place for years on end.
2. The characters have a sense of humor (it's almost a survival skill).
3. The characters can be drunk and stoned without being alcoholics or drug fiends.
4. The characters have sex without benefit of marriage.
5. The characters have a goal.
6. The characters have hope.

 

I would be happy to provide examples or round out any bullet point, should you wish to entertain this abomination.  I guess I needed a break from the unrelenting pessimism (dare I say nihilism?) of TWD.  ZN fit the bill nicely.

[JBody]

Re. point 4), they let their Michonne and Rick have sex!!  And it wasn't a ridiculously huge deal; it was a thing borne of circumstance but yet appeared to be a totally natural progression and rather sweet in its low-key way!!  My jaw dropped.  And then, an episode(?) later, they killed off their Rick!!  My jaw...  you get the idea.

Re. point 3), in fact, their Herschel (the white-haired, wise old man) is a smartass hippie stoner.

[nachomama]

most of these shows also make the chicks die after said hookups. See Lorrie... So Z nation killed the dude. Refreshing!

[kj4ever]

CarpeDiem54 - I would've smacked the little shit myself, but didn't want to be made into a new TV series (The Slap).  Never saw the parents - chickenshits would've had a piece of my mind and then some, but were most likely hiding from their own child.  I am currently on deathwatch - alert for any sign of the crud, consuming copious quantities of natural vitamin C, drinking sherry to kill any errant bugs, and praying the measles vaccination I got in the 50s is still good.  :-)

My parents would have killed me...I was just repeatedly rammed with on of those "shopper in training" carts (which is the equivalent of giving C4 to a Terrorist) by this "precious" little girl who took great pleasure every time I said "Ow".  The Mother was right there too.  I finally told her to control her child, and she looked just shocked that I would say something like that to her.  I asked her if she wanted to see the developing bruise on the back of my leg?  She pointed out that her child was just a baby (like a 7 year old one) and flounced off with her child to get away from "the mean lady".

 

I really hate people sometimes.

 

So I haven't been on here in forever but am glad to be back :)  Lots of stuff dealing with my parent's estate has taken a lot of my time, and I'm glad to have that finalized.  It has been a couple of years of grief and pain, and it feels like a new beginning now that everything is finalized.

 

I'm looking forward to next week's episode, but I'm not nearly as excited as I was for the season premier.  They better bring it this back half, or they might just go into the "I DVR'd it and will get around to watching it when I'm bored" pile.

[nachomama]

Oh yes the "I'll get around to it list" on the dvr. I know it well. Some I can't bear to watch. Havent watched the final colbert. And some I'm just meh about. I was invested but now it sucks but I refuse to not finish.

My dad let it be known at the school they could feel free to smack us around. He was definitely of the capital punishment type. And if I didn't deserve it he would say "I'm sure she deserves it for something". We definitely got spanked and certainly weren't beaten. We would push my mother to her breaking point because when she spanked it didn't hurt but the minute she said daddy was gonna give us the whooping we straightened out. I remember vividly my mother trying to organize cabinets with all the tupper ware and pots and pans strewn about and her banging a pot on the floor screaming sonofabitvhsonofabitchsonofabitch...SON OF A BITCH! Over and over. And I remember Her chasing is down the hallway. I ducked outside under a bush. My sister dived under the bed. My mom went back and forth to each side of the bed trying to snatch her out from under and she would roll to the other side. I snuck back in watching my mom trying to get her. Finally my mom went all hulk smash and flung the bed over and my sisters eyes were enormous she was so terrified that mommy was now throwing furniture. I think we were lil shits. :D

[walnutqueen]

My parents would have killed me...I was just repeatedly rammed with on of those "shopper in training" carts (which is the equivalent of giving C4 to a Terrorist) by this "precious" little girl who took great pleasure every time I said "Ow".  The Mother was right there too.  I finally told her to control her child, and she looked just shocked that I would say something like that to her.  I asked her if she wanted to see the developing bruise on the back of my leg?  She pointed out that her child was just a baby (like a 7 year old one) and flounced off with her child to get away from "the mean lady".

 

I really hate people sometimes.

 

So I haven't been on here in forever but am glad to be back :)  Lots of stuff dealing with my parent's estate has taken a lot of my time, and I'm glad to have that finalized.  It has been a couple of years of grief and pain, and it feels like a new beginning now that everything is finalized.

 

I'm looking forward to next week's episode, but I'm not nearly as excited as I was for the season premier.  They better bring it this back half, or they might just go into the "I DVR'd it and will get around to watching it when I'm bored" pile.

 

I'm ever so glad to see you back with us, kj4ever, and am sorry for your loss and pain - it last a long time, sometimes a lifetime, but over the years the pain becomes just a little more bearable (or maybe we just grow another layer of armour, eh).

 

Every kid in my family got smacked around except me.  I was an exceptionally well mannered child born of a working divorced mother in the 50s;  early exposure to old people molded me into a tiny adult at the toddler stage.  I'm making up for my lost inner brat now that I'm an official senior citizen, though.  heh.   :-)

Edited February 3, 2015 by walnutqueen

[kikismom]

My parents would have killed me...I was just repeatedly rammed with on of those "shopper in training" carts (which is the equivalent of giving C4 to a Terrorist) by this "precious" little girl who took great pleasure every time I said "Ow".  The Mother was right there too.  I finally told her to control her child, and she looked just shocked that I would say something like that to her.  I asked her if she wanted to see the developing bruise on the back of my leg?  She pointed out that her child was just a baby (like a 7 year old one) and flounced off with her child to get away from "the mean lady".

 

I really hate people sometimes.

That's when you leave the aisle with the stupid woman and her Bad Seed, go up to the customer service desk, and say " I can't find my little girl, i hope she didn't get grabbed by some freak, would you ask people to look for her? She's *describe little brat* and then hurry away "to keep looking for her" while the announcement goes over the speakers ATTENTION SHOPPERS WE HAVE A REPORT OF A MISSING CHILD PLEASE LOOK FOR A LITTLE GIRL WEARING &etc"

Leave the store and laugh.

[AngelaHunter]

My mother (but never my father - he didn't have to. "The Look" was enough) smacked my butt on several occasions, and it was well deserved. In high school, teachers could give kids "The Strap", throw chalkboard erasers at our heads, scream at us and the vice-principal slammed big, rowdy boys up against lockers more than once.

 

Not one of us would ever have thought of whining to anyone about this, least of all our parents, who would have answered, "What did you do to deserve it?" Not a person cared about our wounded little psyches, or our "self esteem" issues, and no parents sued the school or the teachers for abusing their little snowflake. Funny, a little discipline didn't seem to hurt us at all.

[nachomama]

We had a teacher who threatened to "Pop us like pimples" and who did throw erasers at our heads. And he was about 4'9" never had a problem with discipline in his classes. The kids loved him.

Pre columbine and very rural the boys used to drive to school in their trucks with gun racks with fully loaded shot guns. Nobody thought Anythinh of it. Every kid had a hunting knife. I sound like jethro bodine

[AngelaHunter]

Pre columbine and very rural the boys used to drive to school in their trucks with gun racks with fully loaded shot guns.

 

Whoa! And to think that now if kid has a nail file the SWAT team is called out, along with an army of psychologists to help the others deal with the trauma of knowing a weapon-toting maniac was in their midst.

 

 

[Too Late Kev]

In high school, teachers could give kids "The Strap", throw chalkboard erasers at our heads, scream at us and the vice-principal slammed big, rowdy boys up against lockers more than once.

Not one of us would ever have thought of whining to anyone about this, least of all our parents, who would have answered, "What did you do to deserve it?" Not a person cared about our wounded little psyches, or our "self esteem" issues, and no parents sued the school or the teachers for abusing their little snowflake. Funny, a little discipline didn't seem to hurt us at all.

 

I'm glad times have changed, and I'm sure there are people who were slammed into lockers, etc., who would disagree that that kind of discipline didn't hurt them at all. They probably never felt like school was a place of safety, either.

 

And for all the talk nowadays about non-bullying, there's still a hell of a lot of it going on, and it's heartbreaking. But if it's okay for teachers to bully their students in the name of discipline, then student bullies are even more likely to think it's fine.

[Nashville]

My mother (but never my father - he didn't have to. "The Look" was enough) smacked my butt on several occasions, and it was well deserved.

Both my (now-grown) daughters have said the exact same thing to me - right down to using the term THE LOOK. In separate conversations years apart. And both gave (pretty close to verbatim) the exact same response when I asked them what they meant by THE LOOK: "It's when your eyes turn into lasers and burn holes through my soul."

Guess it's a Dad Thing. :)

In high school, teachers could give kids "The Strap", throw chalkboard erasers at our heads, scream at us and the vice-principal slammed big, rowdy boys up against lockers more than once.

At my high school? Principal, not teachers; you got sent to the office for licks. And it wasn't The Strap, it was The Paddle. Think a cricket bat with holes drilled into it to cut the wind resistance. Did I mention our principal used to be the football coach? You could feel the meat of your butt going through those holes on contact, swear to God.

Not one of us would ever have thought of whining to anyone about this, least of all our parents, who would have answered, "What did you do to deserve it?" Not a person cared about our wounded little psyches, or our "self esteem" issues, and no parents sued the school or the teachers for abusing their little snowflake. Funny, a little discipline didn't seem to hurt us at all.

  

The principal always gave everyone (the boys, anyway - don't think girls ever got licks, or at least not from him) the same choice - take licks from him, or call our parents. In three years at that school I don't think anybody EVER chose the call. Including me.

We had a teacher who threatened to "Pop us like pimples" and who did throw erasers at our heads. And he was about 4'9" never had a problem with discipline in his classes. The kids loved him.

My American History teacher could be standing at the front of the room at the chalkboard and bean a kid in the far back corner (about 20-25 feet away) Between the eyes with a piece of chalk. Helluva arm AND eye on that guy. And who knew an asymmetric object like an eraser could be so aerodynamic? In teacher history, he was a god.

Pre columbine and very rural the boys used to drive to school in their trucks with gun racks with fully loaded shot guns. Nobody thought Anythinh of it. Every kid had a hunting knife. I sound like jethro bodine

Same. You could tell just by driving through the high school parking lot which season was in effect; shotguns and .22s meant squirrels and other small game, while bows and .30-30s meant deer season.

[AngelaHunter]

Guess it's a Dad Thing. :)

 

I guess. My father never lifted a hand to us or even yelled but we cowered before The Look as though he regularly beat us with a belt.

 

At my high school? Principal, not teachers; you got sent to the office for licks.

 

Our principal was rather refined and soft-spoken, but the vice-principal was kind of an Irish thug, tough as nails and was built like a fireplug so he was the hitman, so to speak.

 

My American History teacher could be standing at the front of the room at the chalkboard and bean a kid in the far back corner (about 20-25 feet away) Between the eyes with a piece of chalk. Helluva arm AND eye on that guy. And who knew an asymmetric object like an eraser could be so aerodynamic?

 

 

Ha! Our eraser thrower was a gorgeous Brit who hated disrespectful young'uns. Anyone who wanted to turn and check the clock at the back of the room during his class had to be able to duck very quickly as the eraser came sailing through the air. The speed of his reaction and his aim did leave us awestruck.

 

Ah, fun times. Haven't thought of this stuff in years!

[nachomama]

Mine was American history too! He used no textbook whole thing memorized.

Speaking of bullies ...this Is a local superbowl commercial. This dude is seriously cracked.

And last years. This one is Epic. EEEEEEEPICK!

[Nashville]

Mine was American history too! He used no textbook whole thing memorized.

Speaking of bullies ...this Is a local superbowl commercial. This dude is seriously cracked.

And last years. This one is Epic. EEEEEEEPICK!

 

He's a lawyer?  Wrong business.  He should be doing Whitesnake videos.  Only thing he's missing is a blond on the hood of a car.

[Ocean Chick]

In our family, it was mom who was feared.  She swung a mighty wooden spoon.  After I was grown, she loved to tell the tale of how I once, after doing something naughty that she was sure to find out about, snuck into the kitchen, took all her wooden spoons out to the back yard and buried them, so she'd have no ammunition.  She also once broke a wooden spoon on my behind, but I'm sure it was probably cracked from previous discipline.  I can't remember my dad ever spanking us, though she did use the threat, "Just wait until your father gets home" after administrating the spoon to our behinds.

 

In elementary school our discipline in the early grades was having to go sit in the kindergarten room with "the babies".  Otherwise it was going to see the principal and getting the dreaded call home.  I know the teachers in high school did throw things, but I don't recall ever seeing anything make contact.  Maybe I was just in well behaved classes though, and the throwing was just warnings?

[nachomama]

The one he did last year went viral. Because it's sooooo cheese tastic. Dude wears more eyeliner than I've ever worn in my life combined.

That first commercial (second link) makes zero sense. If he's avenging his brothers death why is he smashing his own brothers headstone?

[nachomama]

Oooh spankin spoon! My mom would bop us on the head with a hair brush when we whined as she brushed our hair and she once broke a brush on my Head. We also shortly thereafter got Rosemary's baby haircuts and to this day I have a phobia about the back of my neck showing. I won't go any shorter than under my chin line because I was so traumatized by the crew cut my mama gave me. And she would put a piece of tape across our foreheads to cut our bangs super straight.

[CarpeDiem54]

My Mom used a fly swatter. Man that thing hurt! My Dad used a belt but hardly ever on me since The Look would make me wither up and start crying.

[nachomama]

My dad had a paddle but we hid it for a long time. Mostly just a swat with his hand but twice in my life I was unjustly smacked. Once we were driving to Canada, eh. And my sister was in a phase where she was pinching cheeks. So I scooted my knees up to tuck my butt away and my dad turned around in his seat to swat me cuz my knees were in his back. >:( then one time my sister was on the phone and I was watching TV. She wanted me to turn it down. She had a phone in her room (days before cell phones) so she turned it down. I turned it up. She turned it off. I turned it back on. She turned it off again and I went and turned on the radio. So my dad marched down the hall and slapped me. Turned them both off. Then jackass went in her room to finish her call. She was lying to boys by the way. I had so many angries I didn't know where to put them !!

[walnutqueen]

My dad had a paddle but we hid it for a long time. Mostly just a swat with his hand but twice in my life I was unjustly smacked. Once we were driving to Canada, eh. And my sister was in a phase where she was pinching cheeks. So I scooted my knees up to tuck my butt away and my dad turned around in his seat to swat me cuz my knees were in his back. >:( then one time my sister was on the phone and I was watching TV. She wanted me to turn it down. She had a phone in her room (days before cell phones) so she turned it down. I turned it up. She turned it off. I turned it back on. She turned it off again and I went and turned on the radio. So my dad marched down the hall and slapped me. Turned them both off. Then jackass went in her room to finish her call. She was lying to boys by the way. I had so many angries I didn't know where to put them !!

 

My Mum & stepdad got into a TV volume dial-off once, which escalated into him turning it to def-con ruptured eardrums, her unplugging it, and him hauling it through the house into the kitchen and throwing it down the basement steps.  Fun times.

 

Another time my high school boyfriend came to the house on Valentine's Day with a card & flowers, and a birthday card for my Mum (Feb15).  She invited him to sit with us in the living room.  Stepdad comes in and orders boyfriend out of the house, Mum says, No, Stay.  Stepdad gets an axe from the basement and chases us all out of the house with it.  Lost my cherry to that boyfriend soon thereafter.   :-)

[nachomama]

Oh my. Clutches pearls :O

My dad was funny. If you didn't refill the ice cube tray he would chuck it at your head but I completely totalled the car and he never said a word. Absolute silence and the circumstances were dubious. But I still have a dent in my noggin from ice cube tray (not really)

[NurseGiGi]

My mom took care of the discipline at our house.  Hand, swatter or the dreaded switch.  My dad "spanked" me once, with a belt, because I didn't come home when it got dark (had to be home before the street lights came on, you know).  I knew I was in deep shit when I saw him come striding into my friends backyard to get me.  Apparently they had been calling me from the porch and when I didn't come home my dad went looking for me.  Ouch.  Never did that again.

 

I was pretty well behaved at school because back then if you got in trouble at school it was understood you would get much worse when you got home.  Also, I never tried any kind of drugs when I was a teenager because my mother told me they would make me crazy and I would wind up in *insert the name of you local mental hospital here* and then proceeded to give me horrific examples.  I believed every word of it.

Edited February 4, 2015 by NurseGiGi

[Nashville]

Switch.

[AngelaHunter]

I can't remember my dad ever spanking us, though she did use the threat, "Just wait until your father gets home"

 

I wish I could have put money in the bank every time I heard that. I'd be rich!

 

My mother never used anything on us but her hand, but our neighbour, who had nine children, had a piece of wood, labelled "Board of Education" hanging in their hall.

 

In elementary school our discipline in the early grades was having to go sit in the kindergarten room with "the babies".

 

DId we go to the same school? That was a common threat.

 

As for TV stuff, if my brother and I argued about what to watch, or changed the channel, my father would sometimes march in and *gasp* Pull The Plug. Tears ensued (since that which was Unplugged by Father could only be Re-Plugged  by Father) which resulted in him saying, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." Instant silence.

[Ocean Chick]

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

 

 

Oh.

 

My.

 

God.

 

Are you my sister?  If I had a nickel for every time I heard that phrase, I could retire!

[NurseGiGi]

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

 

This threat used to enrage me.  One time I was dramatically crying and flinging myself on the bed and my mother, as she had done many times before, told me to stop crying or she would give me something to cry about.  When she left the room I told my brother I hated her and wished she was dead.  He looked at me very seriously and quietly said you're gonna feel bad if mama does die.  So then I started crying again because I thought she was going to die because of what I said. My brother was so mean.  And I was so gullible.  

[nachomama]

We are all brethren and slytherin! See what I did there? Any who on Christmas I was sent to my room because I stepped on my sisters dollar then I opened the wrong gift because I couldn't read cursive yet. So I got sent to my room doing the ugly hiccuping cry and my father shouted YOU BETTER DRY IT UP OR I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT.