Oswald's Diary: Lessons in Crime

[Trini]

I thought we could use a Fun thread.

 

Oswald is trying to work his way up to flamboyant crime boss; what does he learn on his way there?

 

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Dear Diary:

 

Scamps make horrible ransom bait. However, their warm sweaters come in handy.

 

[SoSueMe]

Fruit eating hippies die young?

 

Sorry, last night's The Walking Dead episode is still echoing in my brain.....

[BK1978]

Fruit eating hippies die young?

 

Sorry, last night's The Walking Dead episode is still echoing in my brain.....

 

Had I not watched last night's Talking Dead I would have never made the connection.  Now I want to see his first episode.

[Trini]

Dear Diary:

 

Deat-by-cannoli less dramatic than death-by-balloon, but better for stealthiness!

[Trini]

Dear Diary,

 

Always make an ENTRANCE. It makes one harder to ignore!

[MisterGlass]

Dear Diary,

 

If you are going to snitch, snitch big.  And do it with style.

[MarkHB]

Throwback to the early episodes:

 

Dear Diary,

Shoes make the man!

[Trini]

Dear Diary,

 

OW. Try not to give sharp, pointy objects to a person who wants to kill you.

[Actionmage]

Dear Diary,

 

Remember that I am the host and I get to overpour the champagne!

[MarkHB]

Dear Diary,

Note for the next party: if Don Maroni is pouring, use a snifter.  Or a flagon.

 

Also, remember that junkyard operators are a superstitious, cowardly lot.

[Actionmage]

Dear Diary,

 

If someone shows you a neat trick, steal it! They probably stole it in the first place.

[Actionmage]

Dear Diary,

 

I have to hide Mama better. Just saying. Not even good ol' Butch should know.

[Danielg342]

Dear Diary,

Never be afraid to ask for a helping hand.

[immortalfrieza]

Dear Diary,

 

I will save Mother soon, lock and load.

 

Note to self, Butch's hand will only be good on ice for about another day or 2, better get it reattached ASAP.

Edited October 27, 2015 by immortalfrieza

[Danielg342]

Dear Diary,

I've sometimes felt I'm an Army of Me. I guess this means I should raise one.

Victor needs to stop calling in sick...his attendance is really hurting my operation.

[superjengirl]

Dear Diary,

I love spicy mustard! And, Riddler and I are BFF now.

[Philbert]

Dear Diary,

 

Today I finally avenged Mother's death by beating that nasty old Theo Galavan to death with my favorite baseball bat. Well, I would have if my friend Jim Gordon hadn't put a bullet in him first.

 

I like Jim. He's my friend.

 

:)

 

(insert line about hugging him and squeezing him and calling him George)

[Danielg342]

Dear Diary,

 

Never be too quick to judge. That funny guy with the riddles turned out to be quite the smart man. Oh, and Jim? Didn't see that coming, but boy I'm sure glad I did!

[Danielg342]

Dear Diary,

 

It's been so long since I got to update you...but it feels good now that I finally can. Man, I sure thought going to Arkham would be like having a delicious scoop of ice cream but boy, did that get nasty in a hurry.

 

First and foremost I must find out more about that man who tried to scramble my brain...something tells me he could be very helpful down the road.

[formerlyfreedom]

Dear Diary,

 

I've been so good, darn it! Why would my father be taken from me so soon? And why would my almost-sister try to seduce me? And my step-mother seems to be a bit...unusual as well.

 

This is almost enough to make an unstable young man return to a life of crime, but with God as my witness, I WILL make my late, lamented, dead father proud! And tomorrow is another day!

 

Wait, is that something shiny over there? Ooh, pretty....