S01.E11: Zero Fjords Given

[TexasGal]

Quote

Guests find hair in their food; chips go missing at the abseiling picnic; Faye's attempts to hide the hair issue from Capt. Kerry end in disaster; Capt. Kerry attempts to outrun bad weather; Kasie and Mike get closer.

Airdate: 01.17.2023

[Tanukisan]

Like a wayward hair in the food, these comments are in the order of the episode scenes broadcast.

Chav Faye and her hair in the food is way overdramatic.  Come on, we know it’s yours.  Stop trying to conceal it.

Jess serves Octopus.  Octopus are sentient beings.  Downer.  It’s like serving your cousin Irving as part of the feast at the local clambake.

The magical bag with the crisps appears!  Whoda thunk it?  Day late and an episode short, but still…

Meanwhile, Jess continues to sneer at everyone and everything.

So the elusive hair reveals itself as the guests depart.  What a HAIRY experience!

Chav Faye and Chef Jess and eggs.  Not the stuff of James Bond.  But Hairgate – now that took Captain Clueless by surprise.  Makes you wonder how the ship stays afloat at all.  Not.

So Seth the Snake worms his way into being First Deckhand.  Will be interesting to see where it goes from here.

Chav Faye gets called on the carpet for Hairgate.  Where will it go from “hair”?  (:

As Jess and Kasie conspire ashore, their hair blowing in the wind illustrates the irony.

Seth wastes no time in declaring himself “Not an Arsehole” – multiple times – in front of the other deck crew.  Dost thou protest too much, Seth?  They certainly don’t seem eager to follow.  Nathan has the right idea – “Lead Deckhand?  Lead Dickhead.”

OK, now it’s pretty obvious that Bravo imports the guests for the show.  No way this group would volunteer for a Norway holiday.  And once again, they have more luggage than most people have just regular possessions.  Even the reaction shots of them near the end of the episode seem to show they were just hired to be there.

What will happen next week?  Will Chav Faye and Jess come to blows over snacks?  Will pics of Seth sleeping on the job cause him problems?  Who will have hairs in their food?  Stay tuned, for the next HAIROWING episode!

[aghst]

The guests wanted the pizza now, not later.  They were wolfing down those crackers with fish and crab so Jess offered to make something hot, because they were about to go outside to the cold to ride horses.

But Faye couldn't stand it.

Jess probably realizes "why am I putting up with this BS?"

Yeah she's lost all respect for Faye, doesn't even want to be civil to her.

"That's yachting babe."

Faye admits she overreacted -- cried -- about the damn crisps.  But she's right back to that domineering personality.

Oh and she had Oriana and Kasie put up their hair.  But no red lipstick to say goodbye to the guests or welcome the next guests.

You know Seth was coached up to alienate the others.  Now they got knives out for him, as soon as he messes up.

 

[Jack Sampson]

When someone has to repeated tell you they aren't an asshole, they are DEFINITELY an asshole.  Imagine it's your first hour with the lofty title of "lead deckhand" and suddenly you're acting like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.

[iMonrey]

Quote

When someone has to repeated tell you they aren't an asshole, they are DEFINITELY an asshole.  Imagine it's your first hour with the lofty title of "lead deckhand" and suddenly you're acting like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.

Yeah, this guy's got a stick so far up his ass it's coming out his mouth. First thing he does is confront Mike and Nathan and tell them "I'm the boss now and you better do what I say." It's a wonder he didn't go into the police force, he seems like the type. He's acting like he's the bosun.

Quote

The guests wanted the pizza now, not later.  They were wolfing down those crackers with fish and crab so Jess offered to make something hot, because they were about to go outside to the cold to ride horses.

Here's the thing though. Faye and Jess decided, together, what they would do about the food, and then Jess, on her own, changed the plan. That's not her place. Jess can decide what to make but she doesn't get to decide when and where the guests are going to eat. That's the stew's job. Likewise, the Chief Stew is in charge of room assignments, not the chef. 

I'm not that crazy about Faye but I get why she's so frazzled, she plans things and then someone else just arbitrarily changes the plans so she never knows what's going on. They're not supposed to do that.

Jess is a pill. And Faye is right to say she always blames someone else for whatever happens. Looks like she's going to get into it with the captain next week. 

Also? If the guests are grossed out beyond belief over a hair in their food wait until they watch the episode and see what goes on in the galley. The chef is putting the same spoon in her mouth that she just used to plate the food, and she's giving crew members tastes from the same spoon dishing out the food. Plus everyone is touching the food with their hands that's going onto the guest's plates. It's a regular germapalooza down there.

[aghst]

Seth is playing the villain role that the producers gave him.  Nobody acts like that, as soon as they get a promotion, he's going to try to antagonize his co-workers.

 

As for Jess and Faye, Jess doesn't want to make food for her stupid picnics.  The guests barely ate the sandwiches that Faye had her make.  And it wasn't because the crisps were missing that they didn't want to eat in the damn cold and rain, on uncovered benches in the middle of nowhere.

She saw that the guests were hungry now and those cracker appetizers weren't going to hold them.

All she could do is make cold food for the picnic, unless they were willing to take propane stoves or something, out into the cold.  Hint, it often gets cold and rainy suddenly in Norway.

So she offered something hot, like melted cheese or pizzas and the guests wanted.

Who's preferences are the number one priority, the guests or the annoying Chief Stew?

 

As for rooming assignments, I don't see any rule that Chief Stew decides rooming assignments.  I thought the chef was above the Chief Stew in the hierarchy.  In any event, if Jess and Kasie don't want to room with Faye and Oriana, they should be forced to because Faye didn't bless the switch?

Jess is apparently some kind of nutritional coach and guru in addition to being a chef.  She must have decided to do this show just to get more exposure.  Well she got exposed to Faye and she might as well have them take this job and shove it.

Who wants to put up with Faye constantly needling them all day with that aggravating voice?  Probably not going to help her sell her services or get new gigs to put up with her bull.

 

[Midwestern Lady]

I didn't feel one way or another about Jess until we saw her remove that hair and watched her tie her own hair up right in the kitchen.  That poor guest.  What we are seeing with germ sharing and hair is gross.    What aren't we seeing?   🤮

[iMonrey]

Quote

As for Jess and Faye, Jess doesn't want to make food for her stupid picnics. 

Yes, she's made that perfectly clear. And for the record I think all of Faye's picnic ideas are stupid too. That said, it's not Jess's call to make. Period. When the chief stew plans an outing the chef doesn't get to do "Nah, I don't feel like doing that." She subverted what Faye had planned by going directly to the guests and suggesting something else then acted like Faye shouldn't care. Total dick move.

Then later Faye asked if she was ready to take egg orders and Jess griped "Do I LOOK LIKE I'm ready to take egg orders?" Faye may be incompetent, but Jess is a snot. 

Quote

As for rooming assignments, I don't see any rule that Chief Stew decides rooming assignments.  I thought the chef was above the Chief Stew in the hierarchy. 

They are both department heads which is why they are both present at the preference sheet meeting along with the bosun. One does not outrank the other. But they are supposed to work together while staying in their own lanes. How do you think Jess would react if Faye stepped into the galley and changed her menu? 

And yes, it was established in another season that room assignments are under the domain of the chief stew. Sometimes during season premiers when the crew is arriving the chief shows everyone which room she has put them in. They didn't show that this season.

[65mickey]

6 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Also? If the guests are grossed out beyond belief over a hair in their food wait until they watch the episode and see what goes on in the galley. The chef is putting the same spoon in her mouth that she just used to plate the food, and she's giving crew members tastes from the same spoon dishing out the food. Plus everyone is touching the food with their hands that's going onto the guest's plates. It's a regular germapalooza down there.

I saw Jess put the spoon in her mouth to taste the food. Chefs do this. But I didn't see her use the same spoon to give the crew tastes of the food. Maybe she did and I missed it.

Faye plans these excursions and expects the entire deck crew to be on call and  pitch in and take orders from her. I can see a chef and the bosun  getting pissed off with her.  And why does she think that guests want to sit out in the cold and rain and eat cold sandwichs and potato chips??  Jess is a pill to be sure but Faye is really not likable at all.

[aghst]

Because Faye's choice was shit.  Cold foods in the cold weather is all she could offer.

Why should Jess let her food be subject to Faye's whims?  Or make her food unappealing?

Previous guests barely touched the cold sandwiches because they were cold sandwiches in cold weather.

As I said before, the guests were all about the pizzas.  That is enough of a reason to change course, not stick with Faye's stupid plan to feed them more cold foods, because again, they don't have a way to heat or keep foods hot.

We know the excursions are producer-driven BS.

Faye doesn't get to decide how the guests will be fed.  That's the chef, who almost always decides on what dishes she makes, including snacks.

The only area where chefs don't decide is when they take orders for breakfast.

This has been the case on all BD shows, not just this season of this show.

 

[iMonrey]

Quote

Faye doesn't get to decide how the guests will be fed.  That's the chef, who almost always decides on what dishes she makes, including snacks.

The chef decides what food to make based on the preference sheets. She does not get to plan or cancel the excursions. That's not her job. Jess is overstepping her place. It would be like Faye deciding she didn't like what Jess made and refusing to serve it to the guests, or re-plating everything because she didn't like how Jess did it.

[aghst]

Who said anything about canceling excursions.

She will get them fully fed before the excursion and then they can come back and have a proper dinner.

Or maybe snacks.

And it will be hot food, not cold sandwiches.

Faye's plan was shit.

[howiveaddict]

The chef does outrank the chief stew. They are not equal.  Chef Ben said this long ago.   And no one wants to sit out in the cold and rain to eat food.  I'm team Jess on this one.

[Caseysgirl]

Maybe I’m just not adventurous or maybe it’s because I like weather more temperate than Norway, but sitting on rainy areas having a picnic after bike riding or rappelling doesn’t seem like a fun time for me. It always seems so dreary and the Chief Stew and Chef are bummers to be around.

[snarts]

Faye & Jess both suck, it's not an either or. They're supposed to work as a team and yet both refuse to budge even when it comes to quest preferences. 

Have we ever seen Faye ask the when/where they'd like to have lunch on their excursions? Jess saw them wolfing down the crab bites, correctly surmised that they were hungry now, and asked if they wanted something additional before horseback riding. You'd think that would make life easier for Faye, not having to find a picnic spot and drag lunch in bags. But no, she dug in her heels and was pissed off merely because it wasn't her plan.

Conversely, Jess does blame everyone else for mistakes. Most of the food mishaps have been a lack of communication coming from her and her handling of the hair situation was horrid. 

[nokat]

On 1/19/2023 at 4:06 AM, snarts said:

Faye & Jess both suck, it's not an either or. They're supposed to work as a team and yet both refuse to budge even when it comes to quest preferences.

Jess isn't handling this well, but I lean towards Faye being worse. When she acts like she is in charge of the entire boat and says "my guests" like she is the only one who guarantees a tip. No, that is the chef and service is second, and you obviously are off on some power trip with both the chef and the deck crew. Who made you boss of everything? Jess was right to make more warm food before they left and maybe have some hot chocolate or mulled wine even for when they finish the horseback ride. I for one would want to get back to the yacht and shower and have hot food ready. Faye is nuts with the picnics. Crying over crisps, ffs.