S05.E01: The Jeweler and the Thief

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Gabby battles her in-laws and plans a secret release day wedding; a jeweler falls for a bank robber.

Original air date 2022.12.16

[Keywestclubkid]

The preview is this episode with the pumping of the vagina to tighten it was something that really shouldn’t have been filmed.. like why show that? But again it’s this show so .. 

[kittle1974]

I agree! Just when you think the show could not get any trashier, we have to sit through Gabby's vag rejuvenation and asshole bleaching. 🤮🤮🤮

That said, I'm pumped for the new season (pun intended). I actually know one of the convicts (worlds are colliding up in here)!!!

[OoogleEyes]

On 12/11/2022 at 12:54 PM, Keywestclubkid said:

The preview is this episode with the pumping of the vagina to tighten it was something that really shouldn’t have been filmed.. like why show that? But again it’s this show so .. 

Just when I thought it was safe to go back in.....

[Maybeitsme]

On 12/12/2022 at 12:31 PM, kittle1974 said:

I agree! Just when you think the show could not get any trashier, we have to sit through Gabby's vag rejuvenation and asshole bleaching. 🤮🤮🤮

That said, I'm pumped for the new season (pun intended). I actually know one of the convicts (worlds are colliding up in here)!!!

Worlds collidin? Do tell

[PrincessPurrsALot]

No spoilers allowed in episode threads.  These happen in show time, not real time.  If we know anything outside of what is shown, there is a character thread for this season.  Spoilers are okay there.  That's the place to spill the tea! 

[anoninrva]

Gabby came across as extremely unsympathetic to me, even in what should have been a pretty sympathetic scenario of dragging along her inlaws to see her beau.  I'm still rooting for Catwoman, although eight kids is going to be a handful.  The Florida girl seems to have a perpetual grimace, and I'd be counting my copper pipes when I got back home if I were her.

[1011101010001]

I think the handyman neighbor is sketchier than the convict.

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I think the handyman neighbor is sketchier than the convict.

It’s definitely a close race…

[Lambie]

I really feel for the woman who lost her baby. It sounded like it was during or right before Covid. I'm not surprised she gained 150 lbs. She's too fragile to have a convict boyfriend. And WTF was the $4500 for 12 weeks program?!?!?! Does that include all meals, a personal trainer, and a live-in coach to keep you on track? It seems like an absolute scam.

LOL Gabby having to share a room with the "trolls" when she's had 30K of plastic surgery and drives a luxury car. 

I really don't get where these people get the money to support their convicts unless their estimates are wildly inflated. I have a good job but I would definitely take a hit on my standard of living minus 80k. Home equity loan? Cash advances on credit cards? I am at a loss. And is  she an alcoholic or something? I  missed that part. She was crying about having had a drink? 

Justine is going to get old real quick. She seemed decent enough on Love During Lockup but she was exceptionally annoying this episode. She's another one who wants the man to take care of her and the kids, respect her, but she also wants a thug. Obviously the jewelry and cash was hidden somewhere. If that's the first thing he's focused on the lifestyle isn't far behind. 

[anoninrva]

4 hours ago, Lambie said:

I really don't get where these people get the money to support their convicts unless their estimates are wildly inflated. I have a good job but I would definitely take a hit on my standard of living minus 80k. Home equity loan? Cash advances on credit cards? I am at a loss. And is  she an alcoholic or something? I  missed that part. She was crying about having had a drink? 

Justine is going to get old real quick. She seemed decent enough on Love During Lockup but she was exceptionally annoying this episode. She's another one who wants the man to take care of her and the kids, respect her, but she also wants a thug. Obviously the jewelry and cash was hidden somewhere. If that's the first thing he's focused on the lifestyle isn't far behind. 

I was wondering about Justine's money too.  Maybe he really was a successful rap artist who was also a drug dealer?  They seem to be flashing way too much money for that all to be from drugs.  Most drug dealers don't really make that much money.  It's high risk / low reward.

[Drogo]

Ashley is… odd.  So she mistook Handy’s “Hey am I still watching your dog and house?” for a “I’m no longer watching your dog and house”…? Just to create a situation where she could “feel guilty” enough to have a drink with Handy against her boyfriend’s direct wishes for her to simply not drink with men who’ve expressed a desire to sleep with her and live next door?  
Seems like it’ll all work out.

Not crazy about Gabby but her soon to be in-laws suck.  “This is our car because our son/brother bought it for her” - No idiots, that makes it her car.  

Michael seems pretty chill but I’m skeptical that Justine’s going to do herself any favors in the baby mama PR department.  
 

[JenE4]

For some reason I thought we had a short hiatus until after the holidays until the premiere. But now that I just endured watching Gabby getting a vagina l rejuvenation and anal bleaching—ack!! Why?!? Why?!? 

If that wasn’t bad enough, now we need to see Justine in this catsuit again. Why does her man have an entire Casio keyboard with him?!? He brought this with him to prison? Was he fucking with them to have to store this as his personal affects for 3.5 years?

This woman is crying over tripping over the bathroom rug—which she apparently injures herself on daily! Lol! No lesson learned to get an anti-slip grip—or even just get rid of the rug and throw down a towel when you take a shower—just fall and repeat every day!

We don’t need candle holders! We need a picture of a giant cow—and some Buddha statues!

The Fentanyl Femme Fatale over here—Dateline episode waiting to happen, and these boys are ready for their featured interviews.

A blue cheetah print glass rose ring vessel? That’s something! Olivia?! I think I stole your mom’s car! Give her my best.

Okay, this handyman/dog sitter best friend with sexual tension scenario is kind of strange. Somehow nothing happened in 4.5 years but with 2 days to go there’s a potential entanglement? He’s already planning on the potential for violence to defend you?

Gabby, shuuuuut uuuuuuup. Gawd. Now you are going to be late with all this fighting.

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

anal bleaching

Those years of discoloration must have caught up with her.

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

an entire Casio keyboard

I was wondering if they actually let him use it but it would seem you could conceal contraband inside.

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

these boys are ready for their featured interviews.

I guess Zanesville is big enough to have a rough part one is supposed to avoid.

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

Somehow nothing happened in 4.5 years but with 2 days to go there’s a potential entanglement?

I think she knows Travis is better looking than her so she wants him to think other guys want her as a way to keep his interest.

[Jeanne222]

Oh my!  He shaved his b.... And butt in prison?  Who does that!  Prison must be a place where dreams are made.

How many kids do cat woman and hairless b.... Have between them and are they all going to merge together with the new little one she's dreaming of?

He cheated before he'll cheat again.  Bet on it!

Neighbor, fence guy reminded me of the show where the neighbor was behind the fence and we never got to see him.  Forget the show name.  What were they sharing in the new glasses?  Straight whiskey?  She must have spent her show money early to be living in such luxury.

Gabby and the in-laws aren't going to be friends. Count on it!  They can't even share a car and enjoy that delicious motel breakfast!  I will say the network puts them up in pretty fine accommodations.

Tree trimmer and his soon to be fiance.  I wish I could have gotten a better look at that rose and how its going to work.  Amazing the human mind and possibilities.

I try to never remember their names because here today gone tomorrow.

I felt a bit sorry for the woman that lost her little baby.  I hope she isn't being taken for $80,000. Of course we know she never blinked an eye because it's the show paying and the show must go on!

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Justine has three kids and Michael has four,  They are one up on the Brady Bunch.  And she thinks having another with him is a good idea.  They are both terrible. His extreme happiness over seeing his watch and car show he is very unlikely to make it doing a regular job.