S04.E25: Life After Lockup: Bitter Baby Mamas & Bae-cation

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Britney parties in Miami, but Ray fears one false move may spell trouble; Sara keeps a secret from Shawn; Puppy goes on the run; Kristianna goes missing, leaving John in shambles; Lacey seeks answers from her ex, John.

Britney heads to Miami to convince us all that she is somehow classy, wealthy, and a major party girl.  Sentient block of wood Ray somehow accompanies her.  Is this with or without permission fro his parole officer?  The other big question, will Ray propose, offer up a promise ring, or spend the vacation fearing for his life because, in the best decision he could make, he doesn't propose. 

Sara keeps a secret from secret-keeper Shawn.  These two spend so much time either keeping secrets, revealing secrets, or being upset about secrets they should be spokespersons for Secret deodorant.  They are always on brand. 

Lacey again reaches out to Chon.  No one is surprised.  No one cares any more. No. One. 

Puppy is off leash and running away!  Of the two options, one of which could have resulted in her warrant being dropped and letting her stay on the outside and the other that is begging for her to go back to prison, our favorite pound puppy makes the choice that is most likely to have her back in the big house.  The decision-making skills of this crew is, as always, top notch. After all, Eric is such a prize, he is worth risking her freedom.  

Kristianna is missing.  PPAL is sad.  Sure, she's a mess, and confirmed Indian John is a very odd person.  But I am still rooting for these crazy kids!  Come back Kristianna!   

Original air date 2021.12.10

[sempervivum]

OK, I'll start: The ceremony itself seemed of dubious authenticity, but the delighted expression on the blonde tot's face when Native John whispered her new name in her ear was charming. However, considering Crusty is probably either at her sister's or mother's place in Sin City North (Dubuque), John didn't seem willing to do much except call her '45 times'. Get in the Bonnie & Clyde-mobile and LOOK for her. I hope she's alright.

Ray has a support system other than Big Brit- his family seems solidly behind him, and they have resources. Why does he continue to humiliate himself with this cringe-y willingness to appease her giant ass? I could maybe understand it if he really were the loser she thought she was 'purchasing' on the pen pal site originally, but he has options! 

I think Puppy belatedly realized she'd be drug-tested as soon as she pulled into the police station, so her fried brain took the 'flight' option. Not sure why Amber didn't notice the Pup was flyin' high when she came up with the plan.

The most noteable scene of the whole episode was the revelation of Chon's bald spot. Ask Stan how to do a combover, dude, and stay out of convertibles.

 

[Pepper Mostly]

Amber probably didn't notice that Puppy was wasted because she always is wasted. Its just her normal state. 

Last night's episode was a major snooze. Where's Stan? Where's Lisa? (tied up in his love dungeon? And has Lisa flown the coop with his bank book?) Where's Daonte? Still in the ditch? How did he get into the ditch in the first place? He was on a paved road on a clear dry day. Did he swerve to miss a rogue squirrel? There's not enough story with Lacey and Chon or Amber and Puppy to fill an hour. Yawn.

[anoninrva]

3 hours ago, sempervivum said:

The most noteable scene of the whole episode was the revelation of Chon's bald spot. Ask Stan how to do a combover, dude, and stay out of convertibles.

 

That was really not a flattering look for Chon.  I also noticed that Puppy and Amber were driving to the police station while sitting on their seatbelts.  My wife's response to that is that these aren't people who are known for having made good life-choices.

[HorrrGoodnight]

Britney is just so damn annoying! Why wasn't there more of her this episode? 😂

[Andyourlittledog2]

I do not have the Whoo Girl gene. At all. Brittney's scenes were something out of my nightmares.  She seems like a stunted teenager who thinks getting drunk and 'whooing' with her friends is the height of good times. I honestly don't get it.  She's just so infantile and completely self-absorbed. Judging from the scenes from next week I am guessing Ray's ring gift sans engagement didn't go off very well with Ms. Brittney.

I loved that Chon said that Lacey was 'hot' but very 'evil'.  Yes. She is. I doubt there is any chance he'll just walk away without talking to her since this is a TV scene but I would so love it if he just turned around and didn't engage with her. My greatest wish for them is that both Chon and Chane leave her high maintenance dramatic ass all alone and refuse to pick up when she calls. She would go nuts.

I think John didn't go after Kristianna because he was furious that after all he did (and by god he has done a lot for both her and her family) he is just (temporarily) over it. I think he loves her but doesn't want to play the game of find the addict every time she gets upset or overwhelmed. I think it's a good boundary to have frankly. If he chases after her every time she takes off that will just prolong the behavior. Kristianna either grows up and makes better decisions or loses John. It's not tough love so much as self preservation and boundaries with an addict. I liked his naming ceremony and the delight the kids had over it. John is a good egg.

I am so over Puppy and her dramatical crisis of the month. She has Amber on a string right now. She so deserves to get put back in. I remember when she first got out the very first thing she wanted to do was to set up another scam on Vince and get money. She is not fit for living amongst the rest of us at the moment. Just lock her back up already.

Sara is pregnant. I wonder how that happened, Sara? Just came out of left field did it? Boo hoo you just wanted to spend time with your little girl and make up for lost time but moved in with the first beaver faced bozo you could tempt and made it all about you and Shawn instead. And now you have a new baby on the way.  I am sure your little girl will completely understand.  Seriously, I kind of hate her.  And Shawn is unspeakable.

 

 

[1011101010001]

10 hours ago, sempervivum said:

The most noteable scene of the whole episode was the revelation of Chon's bald spot. Ask Stan how to do a combover, dude, and stay out of convertibles

He can always get a gig as Friar Tuck at the Virginia Beach Renaissance Fair.  Two episodes now and they haven’t told us what happened to Chane or where he is.  I think he is off parole so it can’t be revoked.  Maybe shacking up with another cam ho.

9 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Where's Daonte? Still in the ditch? How did he get into the ditch in the first place? He was on a paved road on a clear dry day. Did he swerve to miss a rogue squirrel?

I thought he just needed to be pulled back to the road and would resume driving but he must have rendered the car inoperable.  

[JustbeingReal]

I can’t believe Puppy would take the chance of going back to jail omg. Yeah John is a nice guy I think he’s just trying tough love on Kristy. They’re my favorite couple. Lol Lacy was looking ratchet in her shorts. Britney’s friends seemed nervous around her. Sara isn’t that smart. I have a soft spot for Shawn for some reason lol. 

[Back Atcha]

On 12/5/2021 at 12:36 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Britney heads to Miami to convince us all that she is somehow classy, wealthy, and a major party girl.

Don't leave out HOT and BEAUTIFUL.   Wish more of us were as delusional--it makes for good commentary.

8 hours ago, JustbeingReal said:

Lol Lacy was looking ratchet in her shorts.

Did Chon catch the ever-growing cellulite?

[Back Atcha]

22 hours ago, sempervivum said:

Why does he continue to humiliate himself with this cringe-y willingness to appease her giant ass? I could maybe understand it if he really were the loser she thought she was 'purchasing' on the pen pal site originally, but he has options! 

Ummm...she's really an undercover TLC employee and she's stringin' him along for $$$ and ratings?   I can't think of any reason.  YES, he has options!  He'd better skeedaddle and take up some of them before she has him in prison again.  (What EXACTLY does she do to earn money?)

[sempervivum]

4 minutes ago, Back Atcha said:

(What EXACTLY does she do to earn money?)

I swear her original description was 'lawyer'; at some point it changed to 'healthcare advocate'. She appeared in scrubs in one episode, too. She claims to have 3 jobs, so take your pick, I guess.

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, sempervivum said:

I swear her original description was 'lawyer'; at some point it changed to 'healthcare advocate'. She appeared in scrubs in one episode, too. She claims to have 3 jobs, so take your pick, I guess.

Apparently none of which burn calories.

[Jeanne222]

I am so exhausted after each episode!

Does Puppy think she’s a beautiful actress sitting there, high as a kite, batting her misplaced eye lashes?

Does Laceys father have an end in sight?  He’s the real victim in all of this.  Lacey looked her usual trashy waiting for John in his rent a car!

Porn becomes her. 
 

Sara is pregnant!  Another beautiful tv moment!  Shawn will now have 7,8,9 kids he doesn’t father or probably support!  All he wanted was a good lay in a field of clover. Maybe he should consult with Daunte about his sex toys!

Brittany…poor Ray!  That reoccurring opening scene where he’s on top of her and her eyes get huge…terrifies me. I’m having nightmares over that one!

I missed Daunte this go round. I hope he’s ok!

John surely got hopping mad packing up Kristianna’s wardrobe and tossing it in the front lawn!  Maybe she just went to get milk or a manicure.  He’s so in love. Personally I really missed her eyebrows. They fascinate me!

Til next week!

[1011101010001]

4 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Does Laceys father have an end in sight?  He’s the real victim in all of this.  Lacey looked her usual trashy waiting for John in his rent a car!

Were her shorts unbuttoned?

4 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

All he wanted was a good lay in a field of clover

Corn lol.

[Andyourlittledog2]

Yes they were unbuttoned.  Very klassy.

And if Shawn had any idea how nasty uncomfortable a cornfield could be he would not have wanted to take off his pants in there.  Can you imagine just meeting a guy in person for the first time and having seriously pitch to you, urgently, to have sex with him in an actual cornfield on the side of the road?  How that wasn't a deal breaker forever I do not know. The TV money must be good enough to make her ignore her original gut feelings and continue to hook up with an move in with this complete loser. Unless my child needed money for a life saving treatment I don't think I could find a dollar amount large enough to so much as touch Shawn. Sara clearly has different priorities than I do.

[anoninrva]

4 hours ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

Yes they were unbuttoned.  Very klassy.

I'm fairly certain those shorts are several sizes too small to button.

[sempervivum]

11 hours ago, anoninrva said:

I'm fairly certain those shorts are several sizes too small to button.

My theory is they're too large. I think she has to buy bottoms to fit her super-sized butt; so the waist is too wide, and she's 'solved' the problem by-no, not putting on a belt, silly!- by folding the front part down. If they fall off, WIN!

[Jeanne222]

19 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Were her shorts unbuttoned?

 

An interesting take on fashion!  Go Lacey. 

[1011101010001]

22 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

An interesting take on fashion!  Go Lacey. 

I suppose it gives easier access to the latest ex-con.

[hookedontv]

This crew of criminals and their companions -- what a bunch of fools, the lot of them!

ITA with other posters -- sick of Brittany trying to be all flashy, like she's got money to burn and thinking she's all that. Brittany, newsflash - you aren't! She's blowing all that money trying to impress strangers that she's "someone" -- why don't you save your $ for your freaking wedding since you insist on that being a scene too? Does she have a mirror? Does she realize how unattractive her face and wigs are? 

Sara, you fucked up. Having a kid with a stranger who already has 6 kids that he doesn't support, and you already have one kid that you need to get to know, and you bring a baby into the picture? There's no excuse for it. The last thing you need at the moment is an unplanned pregnancy, even a planned pregnancy would be bad timing.

I'm getting worked up, I was yelling at the TV on Friday watching it. Gotta go.....

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, hookedontv said:

This crew of criminals and their companions -- what a bunch of fools, the lot of them!

ITA with other posters -- sick of Brittany trying to be all flashy, like she's got money to burn and thinking she's all that. Brittany, newsflash - you aren't! She's blowing all that money trying to impress strangers that she's "someone" -- why don't you save your $ for your freaking wedding since you insist on that being a scene too? Does she have a mirror? Does she realize how unattractive her face and wigs are? 

Sara, you fucked up. Having a kid with a stranger who already has 6 kids that he doesn't support, and you already have one kid that you need to get to know, and you bring a baby into the picture? There's no excuse for it. The last thing you need at the moment is an unplanned pregnancy, even a planned pregnancy would be bad timing.

I'm getting worked up, I was yelling at the TV on Friday watching it. Gotta go.....

Well better have a drink Friday because it’s a two-hour season finale lol.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 hour ago, hookedontv said:

This crew of criminals and their companions -- what a bunch of fools, the lot of them!

ITA with other posters -- sick of Brittany trying to be all flashy, like she's got money to burn and thinking she's all that. Brittany, newsflash - you aren't! She's blowing all that money trying to impress strangers that she's "someone" -- why don't you save your $ for your freaking wedding since you insist on that being a scene too? Does she have a mirror? Does she realize how unattractive her face and wigs are? 

Sara, you fucked up. Having a kid with a stranger who already has 6 kids that he doesn't support, and you already have one kid that you need to get to know, and you bring a baby into the picture? There's no excuse for it. The last thing you need at the moment is an unplanned pregnancy, even a planned pregnancy would be bad timing.

I'm getting worked up, I was yelling at the TV on Friday watching it. Gotta go.....

The one thing that is absolutely consistent across the folks we see on this show is their horrible decision-making skills. You bring up two great examples. 

Britney's boyfriend has a minimum wage job and an enormous restitution amount to pay off.  She is spending as fast as she can trying to impress others.  Also, we have now heard from Grandma Ray and Ray himself that he used to be a party boy who spent more money than he had, which is why he chose to steal.  So Britney, in her absolute best reasoning ever, tries to pull him into that again. Let's get bottle service! Let's blow thousands at the club!  I think she, to a large extent and without recognizing it, wants him to go back to his old ways.  She is in love with the thought of being involved with a criminal. Ray seems to be trying to turn his life around. 

Is there something about Sara/Sarahs on this show?  Sarah has two kids with 😈 🍆 Michael, knowing he will never support his kids.  Sara gets pregnant by Shawn who has six kids he doesn't really support (and his ex, Kelly, kept falling on the D and having more kids with him). They all convince themselves that these losers will suddenly become great fathers.  Each has shown again and again that this will not happen. 

[1011101010001]

And neither Michael nor Shawn is objectively attractive so not sure what the allure is.

[Jeanne222]

6 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

And neither Michael nor Shawn is objectively attractive so not sure what the allure is.

The heart wants what the heart wants!

[1011101010001]

25 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

The heart wants what the heart wants!

Well Michael claims to have a devil dick and maybe Shawn has a beaver/woodchuck/badger dick?

[hookedontv]

21 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Well Michael claims to have a devil dick and maybe Shawn has a beaver/woodchuck/badger dick?

🦡🍆

(A search of "badger" in the emojis displayed this little character that doesn't look like much of anything. Which is probably accurate for Shawn.)

[Merriwind]

Chon, Chon, Chon, what has happened to you? You're soft and pudgy and the longer hair on top is not a good look. I actually thought you were Chane for a second. Add in the bald spot and the overall long-term drug user look, middle age is not going to be pretty.

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, Merriwind said:

Chon, Chon, Chon, what has happened to you? You're soft and pudgy and the longer hair on top is not a good look. I actually thought you were Chane for a second. Add in the bald spot and the overall long-term drug user look, middle age is not going to be pretty.

He’s going to end up looking like David Crosby.

[Jeanne222]

On 12/15/2021 at 1:28 PM, MrBuhBye said:

He’s going to end up looking like David Crosby.

If he's lucky!

Edited December 17, 2021 by Jeanne222

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

If he's lucky!

Dennis Franz?

Edited December 17, 2021 by MrBuhBye

[PrincessPurrsALot]

On 12/14/2021 at 2:05 PM, hookedontv said:

🦡🍆

(A search of "badger" in the emojis displayed this little character that doesn't look like much of anything. Which is probably accurate for Shawn.)

Can I say how sad I am that 🦡🍆 wasn't coined until this late in the season?  Oh yes I would have referred to our beaver-faced daddy of more than he can remember as 🦡🍆..   

[1011101010001]

18 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Can I say how sad I am that 🦡🍆 wasn't coined until this late in the season?  Oh yes I would have referred to our beaver-faced daddy of more than he can remember as 🦡🍆..   

Luckily I think Shawn will be a permanent cast member.

[Gobi]

32 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Can I say how sad I am that 🦡🍆 wasn't coined until this late in the season?  Oh yes I would have referred to our beaver-faced daddy of more than he can remember as 🦡🍆..   

🦫🍆

[1011101010001]

49 minutes ago, Gobi said:

🦫🍆

Beaver dick is an oxymoron.