S01.E08: This Must Be the Place

[peachmangosteen]

Quote

Faced with the repercussions of their double date with Devon and Trina, Billie and Cooper arrive at a make-or-break moment in their marriage.

Airs June 25th.

[DanaMB]

Terrible. I hate her. 
 

And I’m not married or have kids, but I hated how this seems to say that’s not enough in life. It’s not for me, but to many millions it is. 
 

I read this is (book spoiler)

Spoiler

Not how the book ends  I think in the book she realizes Cooper (not his name in the book) is everything she wants.

So I’m thinking they’re hoping for a second season?

Edited June 27, 2021 by DanaMB

[sadie]

Dear Netflix, I want a refund for watching this. Maybe it’s because I have run out of things to watch that I slogged thru this. I mean, it’s summer, pretty people in pretty clothes having some sexy time seemed like a good time. But man do I hate Billie.

Why did they have to tack on the last two minutes? Was it supposed to be clever? Racy? Shocking? FAIL

I was actually thinking they brought this shit show to a good conclusion that made me feel good. But nope! Billie remained a case study in arrested development. Shitting on a husband 99.9% of the population could only dream about because she had the feelz for Brad, screw her husband, her children, everyone around her. She wanted to feel 25 again all the time. Maybe Season 2 can be Brad being the dick he is to her (because we all know that will happen, everyone but Billie seems to know this) her trying to crawl back to Cooper and him slamming the door in her face! That I’d watch all day long. 

[Blakeston]

Man oh man, do I hate myself for watching this show. I feel like it was aimed at people who thought that Sex and the City was too intellectual.

The ending, in particular, was just horrid.

Is Billie supposed to be in any way likable? She's a selfish, childish jerk. She never took into account how her actions would affect her children. When the godawful "mean girl" mothers were instructing their children to be mean to her son, she never said a word about it! All she cared about was making sure that they didn't think badly of her.

I can't even imagine the reaction to a gender-flipped version of this show, where a man with two very young children and a doting wife tears his family apart because he's obsessed with his hot ex and her huge boobs.

[waving feather]

The sexy times on this show is the least sexy thing I've seen. I fast-forwarded them all because they are so boring and a drag to the storyline. No sensuality whatsoever. Is it because Billie doesn't have chemistry with both Brad and Cooper or are they just badly shot and choreographed? Lol.

Speaking of storyline, a whole season passed and Billie still has no clue what she actually wanted.  She just wants what she can't have. Her friend Sasha has a lot of patience for her, I've to say. Brad is abusive, plain and simple. The classic abuser move with the tears and apologies after. That's how they rope you into the toxic cycle. How has no one in Billie's life pointed it out to her?

[AuntieMame]

Well, I made it to the end. I made it to the end. The awful thing here is that I’d love an exploration of passionate love versus the adult compromises we all have to make. And I don’t just mean the choice between marriage to a Ken doll versus orgasms and a B list New York social life as interpreted by this show. In this show, Sasha’s storyline could have been a contrasting subplot in different choices if any of these characters were actually human. 
 

Yup, I ended up pretty much hating this show and I was looking forward to loving it and having fun with universal themes explored in a smart and racy way. This show is the very opposite of that. 
 

And the last scene? So she gets to have her cake and eat it too? Until she’s caught? And says a line that is usually a chestnut reserved for boring, cheating men from bad fifties melodramas? Seriously, I’ve seen more realistic characters and dialogue back when my bestie and I used to actually play Barbies. Shit, Barbie and Ken might be less plastic than the people portrayed in this travesty of a show. I just wish somebody’s little brother would come along and catapult all of these people somewhere far, far away after he removed their limbs and set them on fire. 

[Blakeston]

On 7/6/2021 at 6:26 AM, waving feather said:

The sexy times on this show is the least sexy thing I've seen. I fast-forwarded them all because they are so boring and a drag to the storyline. No sensuality whatsoever. Is it because Billie doesn't have chemistry with both Brad and Cooper or are they just badly shot and choreographed? Lol.

Speaking of storyline, a whole season passed and Billie still has no clue what she actually wanted.  She just wants what she can't have. Her friend Sasha has a lot of patience for her, I've to say. Brad is abusive, plain and simple. The classic abuser move with the tears and apologies after. That's how they rope you into the toxic cycle. How has no one in Billie's life pointed it out to her?

I think it's hard to feel chemistry when you can't stand one (or both) characters. And I couldn't stand Brad after seeing that ridiculous stunt with the subway train. He endangered her life just for the sake of endangering her life, without her consent. If she had been a little more reluctant and hadn't followed right behind him, she would have been toast.

It's like the concept for the character came from an alien with a completely superficial understanding of what women are attracted to. "Make the earthling tall, with long hair and an accent, and give him a large appendage."

2 hours ago, AuntieMame said:

Well, I made it to the end. I made it to the end. The awful thing here is that I’d love an exploration of passionate love versus the adult compromises we all have to make. And I don’t just mean the choice between marriage to a Ken doll versus orgasms and a B list New York social life as interpreted by this show. In this show, Sasha’s storyline could have been a contrasting subplot in different choices if any of these characters were actually human. 

I feel like they intentionally cast an actor to play Cooper who looked like a Ken doll that was left out in the sun for a little too long.

I mean, he's obviously a good-looking guy. But am I the only one who thought his appearance was just a bit...off? Superficially handsome but not particularly attractive?

I think the writers wanted us to resent Cooper somewhat, so that we wouldn't hate Billie for blowing up the marriage. So they cast someone short (Hollywood code for "not sexy") and blandly handsome, and made him seem smarmy as hell in that recruitment speech that somehow won Billie over when she first met him. 

If that was their goal, the joke was on them, because he still ended up being far more appealing than Brad in spite of all of that.

[Angeleyes]

On 7/6/2021 at 5:26 AM, waving feather said:

The sexy times on this show is the least sexy thing I've seen. I fast-forwarded them all because they are so boring and a drag to the storyline. No sensuality whatsoever. Is it because Billie doesn't have chemistry with both Brad and Cooper or are they just badly shot and choreographed? Lol.

Speaking of storyline, a whole season passed and Billie still has no clue what she actually wanted.  She just wants what she can't have. Her friend Sasha has a lot of patience for her, I've to say. Brad is abusive, plain and simple. The classic abuser move with the tears and apologies after. That's how they rope you into the toxic cycle. How has no one in Billie's life pointed it out to her?

She literally went to school to learn about this. Plus, her friends too who gave her terrible advice. All the psychology people in this show were the worst. 

[AuntieMame]

On 7/7/2021 at 7:00 PM, Angeleyes said:

She literally went to school to learn about this. Plus, her friends too who gave her terrible advice. All the psychology people in this show were the worst. 

@Angeleyes 

This exact thing occurred to me too. Thank you for getting it on the table. It’s an old joke to say that psychologists are often as screwed up as their patients, but usually not so messed up that they can’t identify the patterns and the cycles of dysfunction especially when they’re as classic as Brads patterns. The show ultimately made Brad so awful in terms of emotional abuse that you find yourself wondering exactly why Billie wants to blow up her marriage for this guy. Yes, I know in reality that people sometimes do exactly that, but if you’re going into that kind of territory you’d better make sure you make it believable.
I once had a friend tell me that abuse just felt normal to her in a way that her lovely husband never felt normal even though she loved him. Even though she was grateful and amazed at his every kindness. She never felt normal or I suspect that she completely deserved her kind husband. So, she cheated occasionally (yes, the sex was bad/boring with the nice guy) but she didn’t blow up her marriage to do it. Which brings me to: 

On 7/7/2021 at 3:59 PM, Blakeston said:

I think it's hard to feel chemistry when you can't stand one (or both) characters. And I couldn't stand Brad after seeing that ridiculous stunt with the subway train. He endangered her life just for the sake of endangering her life, without her consent. If she had been a little more reluctant and hadn't followed right behind him, she would have been toast.

It's like the concept for the character came from an alien with a completely superficial understanding of what women are attracted to. "Make the earthling tall, with long hair and an accent, and give him a large appendage."

I feel like they intentionally cast an actor to play Cooper who looked like a Ken doll that was left out in the sun for a little too long.

I mean, he's obviously a good-looking guy. But am I the only one who thought his appearance was just a bit...off? Superficially handsome but not particularly attractive?

I think the writers wanted us to resent Cooper somewhat, so that we wouldn't hate Billie for blowing up the marriage. So they cast someone short (Hollywood code for "not sexy") and blandly handsome, and made him seem smarmy as hell in that recruitment speech that somehow won Billie over when she first met him. 

If that was their goal, the joke was on them, because he still ended up being far more appealing than Brad in spite of all of that.

They really emphasized Cooper’s shortness didn’t they? Even though it’s my understanding that many Hollywood leading men are shorter than we expect. 
I agree that they wanted us to resent Cooper a bit but for me it wasn’t his bland Ken doll looks that did it, it was his superficial perfection combined with the superficial sexual jealousy. 
Brad ended up being so awful that I wondered what was so appealing about him. His hot cold I don’t like you as much as you like me power game only takes you so far. Then his outright verbal abuse across the relationship and his nastiness after the miscarriage and when he was expected to behave a bit normally when they went to where she grew up? He was so bad that I ended up wondering just what his appeal was. And I’ve had both passionate relationships where it was everyone’s primal and primary needs running the show and the usual codependent dysfunction fest. A show really exploring this stuff would have been really fun. 
All we got was “Doh! The guy has a scary big dick.” How is that sexy? For women I mean. 

Edited July 10, 2021 by AuntieMame
Cleaning up mistakes, though I’m not sure why I’m bothering because people dislike this show so much they can’t even be bothered to hate post.

[Blakeston]

On 7/8/2021 at 10:23 PM, AuntieMame said:

All we got was “Doh! The guy has a scary big dick.” How is that sexy? For women I mean. 

Hell, I'm a gay man and if I ever encountered something like that in the bedroom I'd run screaming!

[Kdawg82]

"I'm not ever going to leave my husband." Ummm sweetie- it's not going to be *your* choice. I can't believe Cooper just now decided to track her with his/her cell. The woman has so much time on her hands. She might not be in this situation if she were cooking/cleaning nonstop & didn't have on-call friends & nannies watching kids. Idle hands being the devil's workshop and all. So now She's able to finish her PhD as well & STILL has time for an affair?! Hmkay. Devon being "inspired" by Cooper is so far off. That wouldn't happen at all. I believed his character more when he blackmailed him. 

What I do enjoy watching are the costuming choices. The metallic pink moto jacket Billie keeps returning to that represents those wild days. But why not just wear it? I guess it's not "acceptable" CT attire amongst the other wives.  They walk around dressed like they're going to a wedding or something half the time. Or at least a bridal shower or their Sunday best. Interesting how when she finally shows up at Brad's,  she is in a matronly looking floral dress. I guess it keeps up with the deception that is Billie, herself. She wouldn't give herself away by seeing Brad in Brad-esque attire.  

[NatV]

Hey all, have just finished watching Sex/Life, and I really do think it's great that discussions around this topic are being told from a female gaze. But why on earth is husband reading her diary not made more of a thing? He is violating her privacy, no? And the phone tracker in the last few minutes of the final episode of series 1? Not sure I would have the same response to someone reading my diary and tracking my phone. How do y'all feel?

[AuntieMame]

On 7/11/2021 at 8:27 AM, Blakeston said:

Hell, I'm a gay man and if I ever encountered something like that in the bedroom I'd run screaming!

Me too, Blakeston, me too. To answer a related question from a different episode thread, I saw something almost that big in nature once (erect not flaccid) but it was thankfully not a serious relationship otherwise I would have had to run screaming. 

I read the media topic all about the female gaze and how woman focused and feministy this show supposedly is but I’m having real trouble believing it. Did I miss a memo? Because this show makes me embarrassed to be a woman. It makes women look like the shallowest, dumbest bimbos imaginable. Anyone else offended that the general public might think we’re actually like this? 
OTOH, people must not think too much of it as according to the media thread the two stars are dating each other. That reeks of studio system Hollywood PR to get people to actually watch the show. 

[Blakeston]

8 hours ago, AuntieMame said:

Me too, Blakeston, me too. To answer a related question from a different episode thread, I saw something almost that big in nature once (erect not flaccid) but it was thankfully not a serious relationship otherwise I would have had to run screaming. 

I read the media topic all about the female gaze and how woman focused and feministy this show supposedly is but I’m having real trouble believing it. Did I miss a memo? Because this show makes me embarrassed to be a woman. It makes women look like the shallowest, dumbest bimbos imaginable. Anyone else offended that the general public might think we’re actually like this? 
OTOH, people must not think too much of it as according to the media thread the two stars are dating each other. That reeks of studio system Hollywood PR to get people to actually watch the show. 

For whatever it's worth, I just saw that a member of the show's prosthetics team confirmed to Newsweek that a prosthesis was used in the shower scene.

I have to say I'm kind of relieved to know that the actor doesn't have to worry about accidentally killing someone!

[AuntieMame]

On 8/1/2021 at 10:41 PM, Blakeston said:

For whatever it's worth, I just saw that a member of the show's prosthetics team confirmed to Newsweek that a prosthesis was used in the shower scene.

I have to say I'm kind of relieved to know that the actor doesn't have to worry about accidentally killing someone!

Dude! Well, I think we knew that penises really weren’t like that. Thank Dog and all of the Gods. And this is why the writing is beyond bad. First the mechanistic view that body parts are what makes sex hot. Chemistry is what makes sex hot. And even if the writers were trying to convey the combination of male competitiveness and insecurity they couldn’t manage this with a bit of class, intrigue and metaphor? The absolute misogyny is a problem too. Hey, all women need or want is a dick the size of a baseball bat. Everyone involved should be ashamed. 

[dubbel zout]

I decided not to comment in the ep threads so I could talk about it all at once here and not worry about spoilers, such as they are. 

On 7/5/2021 at 11:48 PM, Blakeston said:

I feel like it was aimed at people who thought that Sex and the City was too intellectual.

LOL. This show tried so hard to be sexy and provocative, and it utterly failed. The basis for the show is decent: Can you have security and recklessness with the same person? But the execution was really bad. Every time Billie told Brad to stop calling her, I yelled, "Block his number, dummy!" They didn't even lampshade it by having Sasha suggest it. So stupid.

I also didn't appreciate how the Greenwich moms had no nuance whatsoever except maybe the woman whose old boyfriend was fat, bald, and in concrete. And even then—why does any of that make him unattractive? I get the woman had to use that to justify her current life, but as others have said, there's nothing wrong with being more settled as a wife and mother. There's nothing wrong with wanting more, either, but screwing around with other men isn't a healthy way to explore that (unless your partner is okay with it, but none of them were here).

On 7/25/2021 at 10:50 AM, NatV said:

But why on earth is husband reading her diary not made more of a thing? He is violating her privacy, no? And the phone tracker in the last few minutes of the final episode of series 1?

It bothered me about the diary, too. Then I realized Billie wanted him to read it. It's easier than going to couples therapy, though it didn't solve any of their problems. The phone tracking, though, was inexcusable. 

The ending was a total cop-out. Billie is going to try to have it both ways? Way to really examine your life. UGH.

[pupper]

Loved it. One of my favorite shows. Why do we have to settle for less than what we want in order to fit a role designed by the patriarchy? The nuclear family is patriarchal design. This show broke that shit wide open and kept the focus on the female protagonist instead of a misogynistic view of what a female main character should want. 
 

Did a women write this show? It feels like it. 
 

Of course, what Cooper decides now is legit. 
 

There are lots of different ways to be feminine. There is only one life. If you can find a way to be everything you want, go for it. 

[AuntieMame]

On 1/30/2022 at 4:43 PM, pupper said:

Loved it. One of my favorite shows. Why do we have to settle for less than what we want in order to fit a role designed by the patriarchy? The nuclear family is patriarchal design. This show broke that shit wide open and kept the focus on the female protagonist instead of a misogynistic view of what a female main character should want. 
 

Did a women write this show? It feels like it. 
 

Of course, what Cooper decides now is legit. 
 

There are lots of different ways to be feminine. There is only one life. If you can find a way to be everything you want, go for it. 

Well we shouldn’t have to settle for a life designed by the patriarchy but Billie is stumping for a patriarchal role no matter what. She’s either wifebot or her choice of big dick seeking sexbot who gets all her self esteem and identity from the sexual regard of men.
 

This show doesn’t have a single feminist thought in its pretty little head; it’s all about Billie as patriarchal object no matter which way she goes. And according to this show all women need to be happy is a dick so big that they need a prosthetic to represent it. This is seventh grade level sexual contemplations, nothing even remotely adult or feminist. 

[AlinaRin]

All I can say is that the book "This Must Be the Place by Maggie O'Farrell" was better)
Read books)

[Miss Slay]

This show is exactly why I'll never move to the suburbs. 

[MamaMax]

First time I have ever spoken out loud to my TV, but when said her final line I yelled "Fuck you, show!"

I don't know why I expected any different but DAMN that was the worst way to end this.  

Other things that annoyed - no one looks have changed AT ALL over 8-10 years? How old is Billie supposed to be? What's the timeline here, how long were B&B together?  - The apparent tear in the space/time continuum that allows them to get back and forth from NYC to CT as though its 5 minutes away.  - The fact that the baby sleeps ALL THE TIME. There's the #1 mom fantasy right there - a baby that never screams or cries and takes 5 hour naps. 

And I agree that the sex scenes were totally boring and unsexy.  For contrast, go rewatch the sex scenes in "Normal People." I would realize when watching that show that I was holding my breath during those scenes, the chemistry was off the charts. 

and finally, I could not  stop thinking about how the lead actress could be Dr Cuddy's twin sister,