Clanstarling April 17, 2021 Share April 17, 2021 11 hours ago, ams1001 said: I hadn't heard of that, either. According to Psychology Today: "The fawn response involves immediately moving to try to please a person to avoid any conflict. This is often a response developed in childhood trauma, where a parent or a significant authority figure is the abuser. Children go into a fawn-like response to attempt to avoid the abuse, which may be verbal, physical, or sexual, by being a pleaser. In other words, they preemptively attempt to appease the abuser by agreeing, answering what they know the parent wants to hear, or by ignoring their personal feelings and desires and do anything and everything to prevent the abuse." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response Thank you. I recognize that behavior. It's not one I gravitate to, but I have seen it in people in my life. 8 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said: Just because Jackie is in rehab doesn't mean she's not allowed to share the wisdom of her experience with other people who are in treatment. Many addicts fall off the wagon. It's not because they're stupid. If anything, admitting that you need help and recognizing that you need professional help is smart. Being an addict doesn't take away from all the life experience you have. Someone who's been in recovery can be smart about lots of things, including their addiction (how many times have the rest of us made a bad decision while KNOWING it was a bad decision but we did it anyway?). Sometimes going to a meeting or talking with your sponsor isn't enough. There's no shame in that, and it doesn't negate all of your knowledge. A lot of what Jackie told Eddie this week wasn't specifically about addiction (although it can be somewhat related). It was about letting go of who you think you're supposed to be and being who you really are. That's valid advice for anyone, not just someone in rehab. Same with what she said last week - he was thinking of himself as the victim instead of focusing on what was best for his kid (again, good advice for everyone, not just addicts). Just because this advice came from an addict doesn't mean it isn't valid. I think Jackie is just trying to share what she's learned to help someone who she sees struggling. It's similar to when my friend got married a year after I did and was looking for a wedding venue in the same city. I gave her a lot of tips because I had just dealt with many of the same issues. People give advice when they see someone who could benefit from the knowledge they already have. It's like the real life version of "what would you tell the younger version of yourself?" Jackie's struggle isn't exactly the same as Eddie's, but there are some commonalities, and as she said, she sees some of herself in him. She's trying to help him from making all the same mistakes she did (which is something that a therapist wouldn't do so explicitly). You said what I was going to say - only much, much better. Link to comment
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