kikismom July 8, 2014 Share July 8, 2014 I miss Zombie Haiku; so here's a thread for Walking Dead Limericks, Haiku, Knock-Knock jokes. riddles, songs...anything silly. I guess I better christen this--- The last chapter we saw of our story Our peeps were trapped in an abbatoir gory Omens unheeded, A human sacrifice needed, It's times like this I almost miss Lori ! There once was a hipster named Gareth Who welcomed you in if you dareth He allowed you to run Till he caught you and won That Eth.O.B doethn't play faireth! 8 Link to comment
CletusMusashi July 13, 2014 Share July 13, 2014 There once was a fellow named Shane who had something askew with his brain. Weirdest part of it all was his fondness for Carl. I mean, that's just completely insane! 6 Link to comment
kikismom July 13, 2014 Author Share July 13, 2014 Shane thought Carl might be his (I wonder?) son Rick's look at Michonne's ass was hardly underdone If birds of a feather Tend to fly together We should ship Eugene with Grusilla Gunderson. 3 Link to comment
CletusMusashi September 6, 2014 Share September 6, 2014 I suppose we should import some of our old TWOP stuff. But, for the most part, I can't remember much. I only started haiku'ing during S4... which tended to require heavy consumption of alcohol. But I do remember one. About the introduction of a certain trio of characters. I also remember a much better one, about the same exact trio, that was posted immediately after mine, but it's not mine, so obviously I'm not posting it.Hopefully, other people will occasionally necromance some of their own stuff here, though. Anyway, here's mine, that I remember: "Scenery:" Abraham chews it. Eugene shoots it randomly. Rosita is it. 6 Link to comment
Oinky Boinky October 2, 2014 Share October 2, 2014 Here's a zombie joke from my daughter... What does a vegan zombie say? I want to eat your grains 6 Link to comment
editorgrrl October 2, 2014 Share October 2, 2014 Here's a zombie joke from my daughter... Q: What does a vegan zombie say? A: I want to eat your grains Q: What do vegetarian zombies crave? A: GRAAAINS..... Q: Did you hear about the vegan zombie? A: He went to the insane asylum and only ate the vegetables! Q: Did you hear about the zombie comic book? A: It's called YOLO, and it's full of irony. Q: What did the zombie do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: He wiped his ass. Buzzfeed has "The 19 Greatest Dad Jokes from Rick Grimes" ("Walking Dead jokes? More like Walking Dad jokes! Am I right?"), including this one: 6 Link to comment
walnutqueen October 2, 2014 Share October 2, 2014 I lurve your jokes, editorgrrl! Back when I was doing song parody 'farewell to TWoP' tributes, I had a Walking Dead song parody percolating, but somehow lost the inspired lines I'd penned, and now can't remember them. Damn those fried brain cells! It was set to the melody of "Age of Aquarius", and I remember the chorus: This is the dawning of our rage against Terminus Rage against Terminus This Terminus ... Is verminous You guys get the drift. :-) 6 Link to comment
CletusMusashi October 18, 2014 Share October 18, 2014 (edited) A little off topic, but since Terminus obviously reminded so many of us of Charleton Heston... In dystopia crowded and grey Soylent Green's made of people, they say And I'm suddenly struck by the thought that ground Chuck would be USDA... NRA. Edited October 18, 2014 by CletusMusashi 8 Link to comment
CletusMusashi October 20, 2014 Share October 20, 2014 (edited) When two cougars fight One dies screaming. The other? Strolls off like a boss. Walker named Hank thinks: "I smell propane, and propane..." BOOM! "... accessories..." The hipsters are burned.They must have drank their coffeebefore it was cool. Edited October 20, 2014 by CletusMusashi 3 Link to comment
walnutqueen October 20, 2014 Share October 20, 2014 (edited) Coffee for Hipsters? They would've raided Starbucks And now drink lattes Edited October 20, 2014 by walnutqueen 3 Link to comment
CletusMusashi October 20, 2014 Share October 20, 2014 (edited) Give Gareth credit. Nobody else suspected that Bob was useful. Faux-ther Gabriel swears he has nothing to hide except huge secrets. Carol told Mary: "I did this to my own hair, and you, I don't like!" Maggie has agreed. The Governor's story arc is fucking over. Coral, listen hard. Never let your guard down, son. Hey, isn't Abe cool? Old joke. Recycled. Legless man floating in stew. What is he called? Bob. Abraham gets it. He flat out said that Rick's group should ride the short bus. Edited October 20, 2014 by CletusMusashi 5 Link to comment
cal October 20, 2014 Share October 20, 2014 Dinner on the fire Welcome to the Bob-B-Q Dark meat is ready 2 Link to comment
CletusMusashi November 5, 2014 Share November 5, 2014 (edited) 2 Limericks and a Haiku: There once was horrible cop who caught Beth with a green lollipop He said "Hee hee hee hee, Just pretend this is me!" She said "I'd rather risk the long drop." There was an escapee named Joan who was great, in the time she was shown She went down like a fighter to rise as a biter and chew pig-cop's face to the bone. Dawn's Dr. Kelso. Beth's J.D. but Turk's escaped. Beardface is evil. Edited November 6, 2014 by CletusMusashi 10 Link to comment
CletusMusashi January 1, 2015 Share January 1, 2015 (edited) Some delightful haiku imagery to start your new year off with: Yosemite Sideboob shaves. Finds inner dolphin. Now he is smooth all over. I'll be here all week. Try the guinea pig. Edited January 1, 2015 by CletusMusashi 6 Link to comment
kikismom January 1, 2015 Author Share January 1, 2015 Some delightful haiku imagery to start your new year off It's on my mind's movie screen---double-billed with Free Willy **************************************************************************************** 1 Link to comment
Cheetosandchoc January 4, 2015 Share January 4, 2015 2 Limericks and a Haiku: There once was horrible cop who caught Beth with a green lollipop He said "Hee hee hee hee, Just pretend this is me!" She said "I'd rather risk the long drop." There was an escapee named Joan who was great, in the time she was shown She went down like a fighter to rise as a biter and chew pig-cop's face to the bone. Dawn's Dr. Kelso. Beth's J.D. but Turk's escaped. Beardface is evil. Cletus your a genius. Not just these. I salute you. (Autocorrect wrote I sauté you) lol 4 Link to comment
CletusMusashi January 4, 2015 Share January 4, 2015 Holy shit, I had the syllables backwards last time, didn't I? Should have been more like Rosita shaves Abe until he is dolphin smooth while Eugene watches. 5 Link to comment
Cheetosandchoc January 7, 2015 Share January 7, 2015 Holy shit, I had the syllables backwards last time, didn't I? Should have been more like Rosita shaves Abe until he is dolphin smooth while Eugene watches. Snort. Through the night they walk. While dragging their limbs along. Putrid rotting flesh. I think I was in sixth grade when last I haikued. 6 Link to comment
Nashville January 8, 2015 Share January 8, 2015 I think I was in sixth grade when last I haikued. God bless you. 2 Link to comment
Nashville January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 There once was a young girl named Beth Who could sing - but her acting was death. The Bethyl fans all cried, "STOP!" But Dawn made her skull pop And EK's character has drawn her last breath. There once was a young girl named Kinney Pale blonde, pale face, and quite skinny. She said "I can sing!" But acting was much less her thing So the writers did her like South Park does Kenny. 8 Link to comment
kikismom January 19, 2015 Author Share January 19, 2015 A girl named Emily wants to be dirty She thinks going bra-less is flirty A passer-by drops their bags Their jaw instantly sags And she thinks "they'd never guess I was thirty!" 4 Link to comment
Nashville January 20, 2015 Share January 20, 2015 A girl named Emily wants to be dirty She thinks going bra-less is flirty A passer-by drops their bags Their jaw instantly sags And she thinks "they'd never guess I was thirty!" I didn't need to see that. I don't think ANYONE needed to see that. 3 Link to comment
CletusMusashi February 4, 2015 Share February 4, 2015 Haiku for the seasons: Season 1:A hero gets shot.Then civilization falls.Then he fights zombies. Season 2:One group saves zombies.Rick's group just moves in with them.Zaniness ensues. Season 3: Move into prison.Then find whole town of people.It's evil though. War! Season 4: "All leaders are bad.'Unless they are named Rick Grimes!" Really? WTF? First half of Season 5: Carol is awesome but most of these people suck. Where's Lord Fluffington? 4 Link to comment
SpaghettiTuesdays February 6, 2015 Share February 6, 2015 Maggie Greene and Glenn, had sex in a pharmacy. You go, Glen Coco. 3 Link to comment
kikismom February 6, 2015 Author Share February 6, 2015 (edited) Puts his baseball cap back on again after sex. An Unforced Error. Edited February 6, 2015 by kikismom 4 Link to comment
Nashville February 7, 2015 Share February 7, 2015 Corn-fed country girl Hooks up with an Asian guy. Bangs Without Borders? 4 Link to comment
CletusMusashi February 7, 2015 Share February 7, 2015 Knock, knock. Who's there? Beth. Beth who? Gesundheit. 3 Link to comment
SpaghettiTuesdays February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 (edited) Bob was a strange fellow, we thought he was kind and mellow. He had secrets and fears, liked liquor not beer, zombified insides like Jell-o. ETA: This may be my favorite thread of all time. Edited February 8, 2015 by SpaghettiTuesdays 4 Link to comment
walnutqueen February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 There once was a young girl named Beth Her fate: inevitable death Daryl thought her sweet tune Chased away all his gloom It was better than snorting some meth 5 Link to comment
kikismom February 8, 2015 Author Share February 8, 2015 (edited) Beth's life was saved in fine style Merle's pack held a strange vial It righted some wrongs Now some of her songs Get a clap once in a while. Edited February 8, 2015 by kikismom 5 Link to comment
SpaghettiTuesdays February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Carl looked after his dad, he wanted to be a hero really bad, he shot a kid in cold blood, left him dead in the mud, and made all the CDBs mad. 5 Link to comment
SpaghettiTuesdays February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Carl's dad was a cop, Carl ate pudding on a roof top. His mother diddled Shane, in the forest or perhaps the rain. Whose baby is Judith? It'd be Rick, if we kneweth. 6 Link to comment
walnutqueen February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Carl's hat: survivor Zombie attacks, swollen head Will it ever die? 5 Link to comment
kikismom February 8, 2015 Author Share February 8, 2015 Oklahoma! (with apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein) ************************************************************************************************************* Title song Re-mix Teeeeeam GREATM! In a short bus carrying a nerd! There are fish they can catch If they first don't retch When the wind comes up right behind the herd! Team GREATM ! Every night my honey lamb and I See Eugene Porter drool And play pocket pool While we get some ass and soak my pubes in dye! We know that our short bus sucked! The mission to Washington is fucked! And when we say: Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We're only sayin' Team GREATM!We hate'em! Surrey WIth The Fringe On Top Re-Mix The Governor's army left nothin' but a dead wreck When you escaped the prison with a redneck When you escaped the prison with a redneck with the greasy fringe on top! When we hit the road hell-for-leather Luke and Molly were devoured in the heather Most of our friends are dying all together and the walkers won't stop! The wind'll howl as we rattle along! Half-eaten horse is shrieking in the clover! You can't block the sound with another folk song; But you keep trying over and over! We were scared you could go on forever We were scared you could go on forever We were scared you could go on forever And you'd never stop! I can feel your final scene gettin' older Feel a leaky head near my shoulder Lolling, drooping, close to my shoulder Till it falls kerplop! That's what happened when you escaped the prison ! Escaped with a redneck With his fringe on the top! Kansas City Re-Mix They left Atlanta in 2010 By now they oughta larned a thing or two! But to this day they haven't got an idy Of what the world is comin' to! Near 5 years They're still wandering Atlanta! They've gone about as fur as they can go! They walked around in circles once for 7 months! Long as anyone could be lost and still be home! They kilt bout 3 or 4 people Every time they took a simple walk Rick put his ear to a Bell tellyphone And dead people started in to talk! Everythin' is clutterbucked in Georgia! It's better than a magic lantern show! Shoot a gun for hours without re-loading! Their endless ammo trick can't be beat! All the stores and homes were cleaned out at the season 3 premiere Then they got re-filled with stuff to eat! They drove all 4 directions away from Atlanta And still end up on Peachtree Street! Yup they gone about as far as they kin go! 4 Link to comment
CletusMusashi February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 You sure you're still gonna have enough energy to be up at 8 tonight? 6 Link to comment
JackONeill February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Does anyone remember Clint Eastwood singing I Talk To The Trees from the movie Paint Your Wagon? I have no joke and nothing else to say. I mean, what else could I say? 3 Link to comment
CletusMusashi February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 So who would be Clint? Rick or Abraham? 1 Link to comment
Nashville February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 So who would be Clint? Rick or Abraham? Carl. He's the only one got the eyes for Dirty Harry. 3 Link to comment
walnutqueen February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 If you can't frame your reply in a rhyme I really haven't got the time Be clever or die Haiku sayeth I or a limerick that makes me die 3 Link to comment
Nashville February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 If you can't frame your reply in a rhyme I really haven't got the time Be clever or die Haiku sayeth I or a limerick that makes me die Ok then... Rick's badge used to clear the way, But that's gone in the world post-ZA. Abraham's got some groove But he's not dolphin-smooth Only Carl's eyes say "Punk - make my day." 4 Link to comment
walnutqueen February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 Ok then... Rick's badge used to clear the way, But that's gone in the world post-ZA. Abraham's got some groove But he's not dolphin-smooth Only Carl's eyes say "Punk - make my day." Your reply makes me regain my faith Even though you think Beth is a waif Our differences aside I think you are snide The best compliment - you are safe! :-D 4 Link to comment
AngelaHunter February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 How did I miss this thread? Verily, there are true bards on TWD forum. Does anyone remember Clint Eastwood singing I Talk To The Trees from the movie Paint Your Wagon? My favorite was Lee Marvin singing, "I Was Born Under a Wandering Star". Love you, Lee!! As for Braless Emily... Well, I just have to say that I admire her for not rushing out to get economy sized bags of silcone bolted to her chest, especially since we now know that big fake boobs are the only thing that can give a young women "self-esteem" these days. 5 Link to comment
walnutqueen February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 A braless young thing I one was Clothes bugged me, I think just because My sweet little titties That once evoked ditties Are now just a useless old buzz 6 Link to comment
CletusMusashi February 8, 2015 Share February 8, 2015 (edited) What will Abraham do with all of his old bras? Will they fit Eugene? Edited February 8, 2015 by CletusMusashi 5 Link to comment
CletusMusashi February 13, 2015 Share February 13, 2015 Governors don't die. They come back as ghosts. And Beth? As a singing ghost! 5 Link to comment
SpaghettiTuesdays February 13, 2015 Share February 13, 2015 Poor Tyrese, Judith's mom. Bitten by a zombie, nom nom nom. For this world, he was too sweet, Provided zombies with meat, His death hit us all like a bomb. (That one wasn't as good. Sleep deprivation is getting to me.) 4 Link to comment
walnutqueen February 13, 2015 Share February 13, 2015 Tyrese would not kill Not even to save Judith So he had to die How Father Pee Pants Survived alone in his church Is a mystery 5 Link to comment
Nashville February 13, 2015 Share February 13, 2015 Like his organist Praying Gabe has got nailed, too. Not quite the same, though. 6 Link to comment
AngelaHunter February 13, 2015 Share February 13, 2015 Sugar Tits she was Her ol' pal Merle wanted some She'd rather die. 4 Link to comment
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