GH Fanworks/Fanfic/Fanart: We Do It Better

[Oracle42]

First: It is amazing "listening" to Luke explain his history with Robert to Ethan

Second: I wonder whether TG ever realized how much better the story could've been if he hadn't insisted on an awful retcon. These two scenes were better than anything Luke actually got to play against Ethan. They were funny, they referenced actual history and the relationship had so much more potential

[Melgaypet]

Okay, I wrote this in the last five minutes and I am also drunk, so be kind. A gift for @ulkis!

***

"He's a SERIAL KILLER!" Elizabeth shouted.

"Whuzzat?" Lucky asked sleepily into the phone.

"I got engaged! He kidnapped Aiden! He tied your sister to a bomb, he got your cousin raped, HE WAS A DAMNED SERIAL KILLER AND I AGREED TO MARRY HIM!"

"Who are you - FRANCO? He's alive!?"

"No," Elizabeth said, more quietly but no less freaked out. "It was a dream I had last night. I haven't been able to get it out of my head."

"A dream, are you serious? I was ready to jump on a plane and have you committed again!"

"Shut up! What does it mean that I would dream of that?"

"That you had too many cheese fries before bed," Lucky told her, settling back into his pillow.

"He was obsessed with Jason," she said musingly.

"Lot of that going around," Lucky muttered.

"Shut up," she said again.

"Did you call me in the middle of the night to tell me to shut up?"

"That wouldn't be a problem if you were in the same time zone."

"Seriously? You want to start a fight about this now-"

"No! But your sons miss you."

"I miss them, too. I'll be out there soon, I promise."

"Cam was shoplifting. In my dream."

"Better than arson."

"This is serious."

"Honey, I promise you it's not."

"Lucky!"

"Fine, you're right. Put him on the phone, I'll yell at him about his imaginary shoplifting.''

"What if he really is feeling ignored? We've been so focused on helping Jake. I never wanted any of my kids to feel like they've slipped through the cracks."

"You're a great mom," Lucky said, in his firmest tone. "I think this is about you. Feeling lonely. Feeling like you don't deserve a great guy to be happy with. But you do, Elizabeth. You deserve the best."

Silence.

"You'll be back in Port Charles soon?" she asked at last.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

[ulkis]

Hee! Thank you! I would have had no idea about your state of inebriation.

Quote

"Fine, you're right. Put him on the phone, I'll yell at him about his imaginary shoplifting.''

<3

[rose marie]

I might have posted this series here before, but after the recent Robin & Jason scenes, I felt inspired to update, so I thought I'd post it again. Hope linking to AO3 is okay!

https://archiveofourown.org/series/879024

[ulkis]

18 minutes ago, rose marie said:

I might have posted this series here before, but after the recent Robin & Jason scenes, I felt inspired to update, so I thought I'd post it again. Hope linking to AO3 is okay!

https://archiveofourown.org/series/879024

100% okay, that is why the thread was created.

[cmahorror]

Chapter 51

Patrick watched the signs closely as they drove down the highway. After some research Patrick had discovered that Heavens Gate itself was a rock formation and the only way to reach the top of it was by scaling the side. That was impractical for many reasons so instead they were meeting Aprils mother, Grace, by the entrance to the Queen Creek Waterfall and spreading Aprils ashes there.

"So everyone is doing well?" Robin had gotten a phone call a few minutes ago and Patrick knew from her side of the conversation that Sam had had her baby. "Thats great! I cant wait to meet the newest member of the family. We have a gift for you and will come by to see you as soon as we get back."

She laughed out loud. "I promise no sweater vests. I've seen the pictures, I know he had an unusual fascination with them when you first met."

Patrick was offended. "Hey - I looked damn good in those!

Robin turned to him and decided to indulge him. "Of course you did dear." She returned to her conversation. "Please send me a picture and I will see you both in a few days. Congratulations Jason."

Patrick couldn't help but see how happy she was about Jason's news. "Sam had the baby?"

"Yes, a beautiful baby boy: 7 lbs, 6 oz, 21 inches long and came out screaming like crazy." Robin was thrilled that Jason and Sam's little boy was healthy and strong.

Patrick threw her a little smirk. "Screaming, huh? Already taking after his mother."

She jokingly punched him in the shoulder. "Be nice. She turned her attention back to the road. Did April's mom say what time she would be here?"

"She texted me while you were on the phone." He handed her his phone. "Can you read it?"

Robin took the phone and opened up the message. "She is there and waiting for us." She saw the turn off and pointed. "There it is."

Patrick had seen it but knew that Robin was just being helpful so he bit back a sarcastic comment. Both of them were nervous about today and the trip out hadn't helped. Their flight out of Port Charles had been delayed which had led to them missing their connecting flight in Atlanta. By the time they landed in Phoenix and drove to the hotel in Queen Canyon it had been well after midnight and they were too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.

The reality was they had no idea what they were going to say to April's mother when they saw her. The young woman had been convinced that her mother had given up on her but their conversations with her over the past week made it clear that that was not the case. Grace had always loved her daughter even if she didn't agree with her choice of a boyfriend. The woman was grateful that she had the opportunity to let April know that before she passed away.

"Man," Robin stared in shock at the almost full parking lot they had pulled into, "I didn't think that this place would be this busy on a Tuesday morning."

"I know." Patrick found a spot and parked the rental car. He reached over and took Robins hand in his. "Are you ready?"

She took a deep breath and nodded her head. "As ready as Ill ever be." She leaned over and gave him a kiss. "Let's go."

Patrick opened up his door and went to the back seat. There, held in place with pillows and a seat belt, sat the urn containing Aprils ashes. Just like in life, Patrick was treating the woman with respect. He carefully undid the seat belt and picked up the urn. He had just shut the door when he heard a familiar voice call out his name. "Dr. Drake!"

He turned around and smiled at the woman coming towards him. Grace Gilbert was a small black woman with a strong walk and a warm smile. She walked over to Patrick and Robin and hugged them. "It is so nice to finally meet you."

"You too, Mrs. Gilbert." Robin leaned back into Patrick after Grace released her from the hug.

"I thought I told you to call me Grace." It was a joking admonishment, not a serious rebuke.

"And we told you to call us Robin and Patrick."

"So you did." The woman nodded her head in agreement and then focused in on the urn in Patricks hand. Tears filled her eyes and she put out her hands. "May I please?"

Patrick didn't even hesitate. "Of course." He gently set the urn in her hands. "I want you to know that I wish I could have..."

"Stop!" This time the rebuke was serious. She hugged the urn close. "You saved my daughter's life and gave me a chance to tell her I love her and say goodbye." Tears filled her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks. "She died because it was her time to go home. I wish I had gotten to see her one last time but that is on me, not you. You stood up for my daughter and protected her and I will never be able to repay you for doing that for her."

He heard Robin sniffle and pulled a handkerchief out from his pocket. "I thought you might need this."

She took it and wiped away her tears. "Thank you."

Grace smiled at them. "Now, I have some people I want you to meet." She turned around and led Robin and Patrick down the trail. "I know April thought she was alone but there were a lot of family who loved her and prayed for her every day." She led them to a clearing by the waterfall. "They want to meet the people who saved her life."

Robin gasped as she realized why the parking lot was so full. There were over 40 people standing in the clearing talking and enjoying the view of the waterfall. "This is Aprils family?"

"Some although the majority of them are friends from before she left. She was a member of choir at church and they wanted to come and sing with her one last time." Grace was a lay minister and the choir director at the church in their little town. "My girl had a beautiful voice."

She led the doctors to the group. "Everyone, I would like you to meet Dr. Patrick Drake and Dr. Robin Soltini - they are the doctors who were there with April for the last few weeks of her life."

Before they could move the couple was suddenly grabbed and pulled into the group, being hugged and thanked by everyone they met. At one point Patrick lost sight of his girlfriend in the sea of strangers but she quickly reappeared, being held in a tight hug by an older woman with Aprils eyes. Grace pulled Patrick away and smiled at him. "That is my mother. I don't think you know this but she was also on that call with me and spoke to April too."

Overwhelmed by everything he was seeing, he couldn't even speak so he just shook his head.

"We lived with my mother for years after April's father died." She saw a strange look cross Patricks face. "Yes, she told us all about you and Robin. About her HIV status and how she is a grandma who lives with her daughter and granddaughter."

"I thought it was just her medical status." Patrick was beginning to realize just how closely April connected to Robin. "But Robin reminded her of those days."

"Yes." The woman wrapped her arm around the doctor. "You and Robin made her feel like she was safe, like she was home again." She gave him another brief hug. "We need to get started. My mother and I would be honored if you stayed with us during the ceremony."

Patrick briefly thought of saying no but decided it was best to just go along with whatever she wanted. He held up his arm so she could slip her arm through it. "We would be honored."


___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Patrick held Robin tight as Aprils mother finished speaking about her daughter. "My daughter was an amazing young woman who lived a troubled and difficult life. My greatest comfort today is in knowing that I had the chance to tell her how much I love her before she left this earth. I know in my heart that she is in a better place and has finally found the peace that eluded her in life."

Grace nodded at Patrick and Robin before she said her final words. "I would like to end this ceremony with Aprils favorite hymn."

From behind them, the couple heard several voices start to sing.


Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I am found,
Was blind, but now I see


More and more voices joined in as the hymn continued.


'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come,
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home


Through their tears, Patrick and Robin finally began to sing.


The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun


Grace approached the couple and carefully set the urn containing Aprils ashes down on the ground. "I know you said you wanted to spread her ashes but..."

"She is your daughter Grace." Robin reached over and pulled the grieving woman into a tight embrace. "I think it is time for you to take her home."

"Thank you for making it possible for me to." Grace picked up the urn. "I am going to ride with my family back home today but I expect to hear from you two on a regular basis."

"Count on it." Patrick shook her hand. "Have a safe trip back and let us know that you got home safe."

"I will." She smiled at the couple on last time before turning to leave. "I will talk to you both soon."

They watched her leave and Patrick wrapped his arms back around his girlfriend. "Ready to go?"

"No." Robin's voice seemed almost distant as she looked out over the waterfall. "Not until I say something."

Patrick turned her around in his arms. "Robin, today has been emotional for a lot of reasons..."

"I need to say this." She took a deep breath. "I need you to understand something."

Patrick was worried. "Robin? What is it?"

"The other night you told me you loved me and I didn't say it back and I need to explain why." Robin saw him open his mouth and she put her hand over it. "I need you to let me say this."

He shut his mouth and nodded his head.

"I have loved three men in my life. Stone died of AIDS but he worked for Sonny and lived a dangerous life. Jason and I didn't work for a lot of reasons but one of them was his love for danger and my need to be safe." She sighed. "And then Roger was a firefighter who died on a call. All three of them lived life on the edge and that need for danger took them away from me."

"But..."

"You love to take risks too. You race cars at over a hundred and fifty miles an hour, you take risky surgeries, ones that increase your exposure to HIV and AIDS, you love the adrenaline rush and living on the edge. It scares me but it also one of the many reasons why I am with you and that scares me even more." She took his hands in hers. "I am petrified that I am going to lose you just like I lost Stone and Roger. That one day you will be at the track and crash or that you will get caught in another situation like the one with Jason where you continued to operate even though there was a knife wielding maniac holding someone hostage in your OR."

Patrick was beginning to wish he hadn't let her know about Manny Ruiz's attack during Jasons first surgery. "Robin, that was a long time ago..."

"But it is indicative of a pattern." The tears filled up her eyes once more. "And I have to make the choice whether or not I can take that chance again."

"Don't make any decisions today Robin, please?" Patrick thought he could see where this was going.

"Patrick, this isn't a decision I made today." She squeezed his hands. "I have been afraid of what I am feeling but I finally realized that, no matter the risk, fear should not stop me from doing what I want or being with who I want so here it goes." Robin smiled at him. "I love you."

"Robin..."

She wrapped her arms around him. "I am in love with you and I have been for a long time."

He relaxed as he heard the words he had been wanting to hear come from her lips. Knowing that she wouldn't have said it unless she meant it, he leaned down and kissed her. "Well, I already knew it but it is nice to hear you say it." He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "I love you too Robin."

Robin pulled him close and they held each other as they watched the water fall and hit the rocks below. Patrick kissed the top of her head and didn't even attempt to get her to leave - they were both where they wanted to be.

[cmahorror]

Chapter 51

Patrick watched the signs closely as they drove down the highway. After some research Patrick had discovered that Heaven’s Gate itself was a rock formation and the only way to reach the top of it was by scaling the side of it. That was impractical for many reasons so instead they were meeting April’s mother, Grace, by the entrance to the Queen Creek Waterfall and spreading April’s ashes there.

“So everyone is doing well?” Robin had gotten a phone call a few minutes ago and Patrick knew from her side of the conversation that Sam had had her baby. “That’s great! I can’t wait to meet the newest member of the family. We have a gift for you and will come by to see you as soon as we get back.”

She laughed out loud. “I promise – no sweater vests. I’ve seen the pictures, I know he had an usual fascination with them when you first met.”

Patrick was offended. “Hey – I looked damn good in those!”

Robin turned to him and decided to indulge him. “Of course you did dear.” She returned to her conversation. “Please send me a picture and I will see you both in a few days. Congratulations Jason.”

Patrick couldn’t help but see how happy she was about Jason’s news. “Sam had the baby?”

“Yes, a beautiful baby boy: 7 lbs, 6 oz, 21 inches long and came out screaming like crazy.” Robin was thrilled that Jason and Sam’s little boy was healthy and strong.

Patrick threw her a little smirk. “Screaming, huh? Already taking after his mother.”

She jokingly punched him in the shoulder. “Be nice.” She turned her attention back to the road. “Did April’s mom say what time she would be here?”

“She texted me while you were on the phone.” He handed her his phone. “Can you read it?”
Robin took the phone and opened up the message. “She is there and waiting for us.” She saw the turn off and pointed. “There it is.”

Patrick had seen it but knew that Robin was just being helpful so he bit back a sarcastic comment. Both of them were nervous about today and the trip out hadn’t helped. Their flight out of Port Charles had been delayed which had led to them missing their connecting flight in Atlanta. By the time they landed in Phoenix and drove to the hotel in Queen Canyon it had been well after midnight and they too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.

The reality was they had no idea what they were going to say to April’s mother when they saw her. The young woman had been convinced that her mother had given up on her but their conversations with her over the past week made it clear that that was not the case. Grace had always loved her daughter even if she didn’t agree with her choice of a boyfriend.  The woman was grateful that she had the opportunity to let April know that before she passed away.

“Man,” Robin stared in shock at the almost full parking lot they had pulled into, “I didn’t think that this place would be that busy on a Tuesday morning.”

“I know.” Patrick found a spot and parked the rental car. He reached over and took Robin’s hand in his. “Are you ready?”

She took a deep breath and nodded her head. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” She leaned over and gave him a kiss. “Let’s go.”

Patrick opened up his door and went to the back seat. There, held in place with pillows and a seat belt, sat the urn containing April’s ashes. Just like in life, Patrick was treating the woman with respect. He carefully undid the seat belt and picked up the urn. He had just shut the door when he heard a familiar voice call out his name. “Dr. Drake!”

He turned around and smiled at the woman coming towards him. Grace Gilbert was a small black woman with a strong walk and a warm smile. She walked over to Patrick and Robin and hugged them. “It is so nice to finally meet you.”

“You too Mrs. Gilbert.” Robin leaned back into Patrick after Grace released her from the hug.

“I thought I told you to call me Grace.” It was a joking admonishment, not a serious rebuke.

“And we told you to call us Robin and Patrick.”

“So you did.” The woman nodded her head in agreement and then focused in on the urn in Patrick’s hand. Tears filled her eyes and she put out her hands. “May I please…”

Patrick didn’t even hesitate. “Of course.” He gently set the urn in her hands. “I want you to know that I wish I could have…”

“Stop!” This time the rebuke was serious. She hugged the urn close. “You saved my daughter’s life and gave me a chance to tell her I love her and say goodbye.” Tears filled her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks. “She died because it was her time to go home. I wish I had gotten to see her one last time but that is on me, not you. You stood up for my daughter and protected her and I will never be able to repay you for doing that for her.”

He heard Robin sniffle and pulled a handkerchief out from his pocket. “I thought you might need this.”

She took it and wiped away her tears. “Thank you.”

Grace smiled at them. “Now, I have some people I want you to meet.” She turned around and led Robin and Patrick down the trail. “I know April thought she was alone but there were a lot of family who loved her and prayed for her every day.” She led them to a clearing by the waterfall. “They want to meet the people who saved her life.”

Robin gasped as she realized why the parking lot was so full. There were over 40 people standing in the clearing talking and enjoying the view of the waterfall. “This is April’s family?”

“Some although the majority of them are friends from before she left. She was a member of choir at church and they wanted to come and sing with her one last time.” Grace was a lay minister and the choir director at the church in their little town. “My girl had a beautiful voice.”

She led the doctors to the group. “Everyone, I would like you to meet Dr. Patrick Drake and Dr. Robin Soltini – they are the doctors who were there with April for the last few weeks of her life.”

Before they could move they couple was suddenly grabbed and pulled into the group, being hugged and thanked by everyone they met. At one point Patrick lost sight of his girlfriend in the sea of strangers but she quickly reappeared, being held in a tight hug by an older woman with April’s eyes. Grace pulled Patrick away and smiled at him. “That is my mother. I don’t think you know this but she was also on that call with me and spoke to April too.”

Overwhelmed by everything he was seeing, he couldn’t even speak so he just shook his head.

“We lived with my mother for years after April’s father died.” She saw a strange look cross Patrick’s face. “Yes, she told us all about you and Robin. About her HIV status and how she is a grandma who lives with her daughter and granddaughter.”

“I thought it was just her medical status.” Patrick was beginning to realize just how closely April connected to Robin. “But Robin reminded her of those days.”

“Yes.” The woman wrapped her arm around the doctor. “You and Robin made her feel like she was safe, like she was home again.” She gave him another brief hug. “We need to get started. My mother and I would be honored if you stayed with us during the ceremony.”

Patrick briefly thought of saying no but decided it was best to just go along with whatever she wanted. He held up his arm so she could slip her arm through it. “We would be honored.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Patrick held Robin tight as April’s mother finished speaking about her daughter. “My daughter was an amazing young woman who lived a troubled and difficult life. My greatest comfort today is in knowing that I had the chance to tell her how much I love her before she left this earth. I know in my heart that she is in a better place and has finally found the peace that eluded her in life.”

Grace nodded at Patrick and Robin before she said her final words. “I would like to end this ceremony with April’s favorite hymn.”

From behind them, the couple heard several voices start to sing.

 

Amazing grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I am found,
Was blind, but now I see

 

More and more voices joined in as the hymn continued.

 

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come,
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home

 

Through their tears, Patrick and Robin finally began to sing.

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun

 

Grace approached the couple and carefully set the urn containing April’s ashes down on the ground. “I know you said you wanted to spread her ashes but…”

“She is your daughter Grace.” Robin reached over and pulled the grieving woman into a tight embrace. “I think it is time for you to take her home.”

“Thank you for making it possible for me to.” Grace picked up the urn. “I am going back to ride with my family back home today but I expect to hear from you two on a regular basis.”

“Count on it.” Patrick shook her hand. “Have a safe trip back and let us know that you got home safe.”

“I will.” She smiled at the couple on last time before turning to leave. “I will talk to you both soon.”

They watched her leave and Patrick wrapped his arms back around his girlfriend. “Ready to go?”

“No.” Robin’s voice seemed almost distant as she looked out over the waterfall. “Not until I say something.”

Patrick turned her around in his arms. “Robin, today has been emotional for a lot of reasons…”

“I need to say this.” She took a deep breath. “I need you to understand something.”

Patrick was worried. “Robin? What is it?”

“The other night you told me you loved me and I didn’t say it back and I need to explain why.” Robin saw him open his mouth and she put her hand over it. “I need you to let me say this.”

He shut his mouth and nodded his head.

“I have loved three men in my life. Stone died of AIDS but he worked for Sonny and lived a dangerous life. Jason and I didn’t work for a lot of reasons but one of them was his love for danger and my need to be safe.” She sighed. “And then Roger was a firefighter who died on a call. All three of them lived life on the edge and it took them away from me.”

“But…”

“You love to take risks too. You race cars at over a hundred and fifty miles an hour, you take risky surgeries, ones that increase your exposure to HIV and AIDS, you love the adrenaline rush and living on the edge. It scares me but it also one of the many reasons why I am with you and that scares me even more.” She took his hands in hers. “I am petrified that I am going to lose you – just like I lost Stone and Roger. That one day you will be at the track and crash or that you will get caught another situation like the one with Jason where you continued to operate even though there was a knife wielding maniac holding someone hostage in your OR.”

Patrick was beginning to wish he hadn’t let her know about Manny Ruiz’s attack during Jason’s first surgery. “Robin, that was a long time ago…”

“But it is indicative of a pattern.” The tears filled up her eyes once more. “And I have to make the choice whether or not I can take that chance again.”

“Don’t make any decisions today Robin, please?” Patrick thought he could see where this was going.

“Patrick, this isn’t a decision I made today.” She squeezed his hands. “I have been afraid of what I am feeling but I finally realized that, no matter the risk, fear should not stop me from doing what I want or being with who I want so here it goes.” Robin smiled at him. “I love you.”

“Robin…”

She wrapped her arms around him. “I am in love with you and I have been for a long time.”

He relaxed as he leaned down and kissed her. “Well, I already knew it but it is nice to hear you say it. I love you too Robin.”

Robin pulled him close and they held each other as they watched the water fall and hit the rocks below. Patrick kissed the top of her head and didn’t even attempt to get her to leave. They were both where they wanted to be.

[ulkis]

NATHAN: Maxie, I've found out Faison is my father!

MAXIE: Oh, it's really not a big deal, pretty much everyone in town has an evil dad - 

NATHAN: I must destroy him before he destroys us and our unborn baby! Who'd be the perfect person to help me out with this?

OBRECHT: Me, your genius mother?

DANTE: Me, your cop partner?

ANNA: Me, this expert spy who knows Faison intimately?

LULU: Me, the brand-new reporter with a month's worth of experience? We'll lure Faison to town with an article about him and you'll . . . arrest him for criticizing my article!

NATHAN: Great idea! 

FAISON: Okay, I'm ugly, I smell, but you didn't have to be so mean about my hair! :shoots Nathan:

NATHAN: Maybe not! :dies:

MAXIE: Lulu, you killed him for your shitty article!

LULU: Maxie, I'm your best friend! How could you call my article shitty!

MAXIE: Oh, Peter, I'm so glad you're here for me, unlike that murderer Lulu. You didn't know Nathan or me, so it's okay that you put him in danger! There's something about you that reminds me of Nathan.

PETER: I hope it's not our acting skills! Could Nathan do this? Father, it was I who wrote the article! It was I who spared Jason! It was I who have taken control of Aurora! And now, it is I who have killed you! :shoots:

FAISON: Why couldn't you have shot me before that soliloquy? :dies:

PETER: That's exactly what I was going for! Thank you! Now, to make one about how Anna abandoned me as a child and let Faison raise me!

AUDIENCE: Wait, what?

PETER: Yes, you see, when Anna was in spy school Faison was obsessed with her even then and she knew it, so she decided to get him drunk and have sex with him, because you see, Faison didn't really realize it was her because he was drunk and he usually hired women who looked like Anna to have sex with, so he didn't realize that this time it was really Anna and not just one of his Anna-lites!

MAXIE: A couple of months passed and I gave birth to my baby during that explanation. Oh Peter, thank you for helping me give birth via tedious verbal exposition! 

PETER: You're welcome. Now time to let Obrecht try to kill me by tedious verbal exposition. For about two months on-screen. Aaaah the tedious verbal exposition has rendered me unable to walk!

FINN: Are you sure? Because you're moving your legs. You keep walking and then dropping and flailing.

PETER: Just carry me and impress Anna by saving her son!

FINN: This might take a while.

-

NINA: YOU SHOT MY BROTHER YOU BASTARD! THDGFJAGNSXBVDCVDSZBGDFFFVCVGDSBFDBBFHBCXV!

WHOLE CAST: What?

VALENTIN: She said Lulu, Faison, and I all killed Nathan, and then she told me she was breaking up with me for stealing Peter as a child and delivering him to Faison, and she reapeted every sentence she said twice. Oh, Nina, can't you tell from the way I interpreted that that we're soulmates?

NINA: No!

VALENTIN: Guess that means I'd better hire someone to be your daughter so you'll come back to me! What an amazing plan!

_

SAM: Drew, it's you I love. Let me put on my most country saloon wedding gown and prove it to you.

DREW: Okay, are you sure?

SAM: Nope! I have feelings for Jason. But hey, having feelings for two men at the same time has never happened in the history of soaps before, right?

DREW: Right. You can only have feelings for one man at a time, so I'm moving out!

SAM: But what will our plot be now?

DREW: I don't know, but certainly nothing as prosaic as a love triangle! Who would want to watch that?

SAM: Not me!

DREW: Not me!

JASON: Not me!

AUDIENCE: Uh, we'd be kind of okay with it?

KIM: Drew, here's your next plot! I had your son 15 years ago and I didn't tell him he had a brain tumor! And he's dating Josslyn! And I'm dating Julian!

DREW: Um, is it too late to do a love triangle now?

-

CARLY: I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm crazy! That bitch Nelle is setting me up!

MICHAEL: Can't it be both, mom?

CARLY: No! Oh no, I'm in Ferncliff! I have to wear a tank top! 

JASON: A tank top? Hmm. If I wear a black tee shirt in the wintertime in upstate New York, a black tank top should be my summer outfit, right? Because the black tee is already my winter outfit, so my summer outfit should be skimpier than my winter one. Right?

CARLY: I don't know Jason! Let's just slow-mo run out of here!

-

NELLE: I'll never let that bitch Carly get her hands on my kid! But how do I go about that. Oh, hello Carly's brother-in-law!

BRAD: Hey, what's up? Just taking my randomly dead baby out for a car ride!

NELLE: How convenient! I have a baby I randomly gave birth to out in the woods here! You can have him!

BRAD: But didn't you just say you didn't want Carly near him? We see her all the time off-screen!

NELLE: It'll be fine!

MICHAEL: What happened to our baby Nelle?

NELLE: He's dead Michael! That's what you get for dumping our scorching hot romance!

MICHAEL: Sigh. Time to begin my next scorching hot romance at bereavement group.

WILLLOW: Hi! I'm Willow, I'm sad because I'm obviously the one who gave up my baby for adoption! And then I'll think my baby is your baby but then I'll find out he's not and then I'll be sad some more! Sounds like we have lots of passionate times ahead! Also, I'm a teacher and both Charlotte and Aidan are in my class, and Charlotte is bullying Aidan!

LIZ: This is seriously our story?

FRANCO: Well, we did have one earlier this year where I found out Drew and I lived toegether as children, and it turned out I protected him from being molested from our mother's boyfriend, and me and Drew bonded over it.

LIZ: :pause: Willow, tell me more about the bullying! I love bullying! Although, weren't we supposed to get married?

JORDAN: Nah, a recast me is going to be walked down the aisle by my recast son and get married to Curtis!

LIZ: Hey, works for me.

-

SONNY: Dad, what the hell is wrong with you! You've been gambling again, haven't you, you bastard!

GRIFFIN: Turns out your dad has Alzheimer's.

SONNY: So does that mean he was gambling, or no?

-

DANTE: Lulu, I've got to leave on assignment!

LULU: This is pretty sudden! 

DANTE: Yeah, it's like they've given me filler for years and so I've decided to leave. Also, I have to find some bad guy who tried to kill you a couple of years ago.

LULU: Okay, but what about the bad guy who's about to try to kill us all now?

DANTE: You'll be fine. You'll have the rest of my colleagues at the PCPD!

BOTH: :laugh:

LULU: Oh honey, I'm going to miss you so much!

-

GRIFFIN: Ava, how could you sing that song? It hurt Sonny's feelings!

KIKI: My mom is always doing horrible things like singing songs at charity balls. Let's screw because of it!

AVA: My slut daughter slept with my boyfriend! Damn it, this was the boytoy that I really loved! I just want her dead! Dead dead dead!

KIKI: *is dead*

AVA: No! Why would anyone think I wanted her dead?!

RYAN: Well, you kinda said it . . . a bunch of times  . . . speaking of saying something a bunch of times . . . 

NINA: Yes? Yes? Yes?

RYAN: No, it's Laura. Laura, I don't want to be with you anymore!

LAURA: Is it because I left town for almost the whole year to take care of Spencer's broken legs? It wasn't my fault the producer decided to dump me!

RYAN: Look Laura, I just want to be free to imitate my twin brother and kill a bunch of people, alright?

LAURA: Fine, I guess I'll just go resume my plot from last year and finish being elected mayor!

LAURA: *is elected*

THE TOWN: Hoorah! Now we don't have that horrible Ned Quartermaine as mayor anymore!

LAURA: Now that horrible Ned isn't mayor anymore, you'll catch the killer, right Jordan? 

JORDAN: Right. I've got my best officers on it, like Chase.

CHASE: Right. I thought I was going to have some plot with my brother Finn and our family, but I guess not, so I have time to sorta kinda investigate the murders.

FINN: Sorry, I've got some plot about Anna and her being blind!

ANNA: I was only blind for a day! But don't worry, we still have our cancer, Alzheimer's, and depressed children plots!

THE TOWN: And Ned Quartermaine isn't mayor! Hoorah!

*

Edited January 21, 2019 by ulkis

[Hater]

The many faces of pain in this love scene:

 

'Oh no...it's time to disrobe in this HOODIE for a LOVE SCENE"

"I must pretend I care that he hurt his ribs...."

<dollars, dollars, fuck Billy Miller, I won>

CORPSE ACTING CORPSE ACTING

DUCK DUCK DUCK.....GOOSE? Nope.  DUCK.

"It's true, I am stuck in this for eternity."

DISTURBING.

Edited January 25, 2019 by Hater

[LexieLily]

@statsgirl and whoever else from the main thread who is interested. I've started a fix-it fic for The Twinning Plot and I have the prologue posted. 

"Laura discovered the truth and she, Mac, Felicia and Robert rescued Kevin on Christmas, but that is only where their story begins. Laura must heal, Kevin must deal with the ramifications of his actions and together they have to contend with the carnage and the legacies Ryan Chamberlain left behind."

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13235051/1/And-I-Will-Try-To-Fix-You

[LexieLily]

Second installment!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13235051/2/And-I-Will-Try-To-Fix-You

[ulkis]

EMME: So, Frank - 

FRANK glares

EMME: I mean, Mr Valentini sir, now that Dom is gone I have some ideas for Lulu - 

FRANK: Geez, Emme, don't you think it's a bit soon? He just left! How heartless are you?

EMME: He left over a year ago.

FRANK: He was just here in March!

EMME; That was four months ago almost.

FRANK: And only a week has gone by in show time!

EMME: I mean, Lulu can start to move on . . . maybe looking at other men . . . just a glace . . . 

FRANK: If Lulu dates someone else besides Dante, what will Maxie and Laura's boyfriend do for a storyline?

EMME: Peter has a pretty complicated background . . . 

FRANK: But could anything be as riveting as obsessing over off-screen Dante for them? I think not!

EMME: I don't know . . . 

FRANK: Look, Emme, some of us find sewing little scarves interesting, and some of know what interests tv audiences. Let's stick to what we're best at, alright?

EMME: Can I just maybe read them? Maybe you can, um, develop an idea into something even better.

FRANK: Well, maybe one of your ideas will make me think of another idea that would be interesting. Fine, go on.

EMME: Maybe Valentin and Lulu could start to develop an antagonistic relationship . . . 

FRANK: You're not touching James with a ten foot pole. Isn't it bad enough Lulu is the mother of his child for him? Next!

EMME: Maybe she can start something with Chase?

FRANK: I'm saving him for Ava in case her next pairing doesn't work out. Next!

EMME: Maybe recast Johnny? 

FRANK: I'm saving that role for Michael Easton, just in case we have to kill off his latest character again.

EMME: ooookay, well, this is kind of crazy, but Lulu and Sonny - 

FRANK: (immediately stands up and slaps his desk with his hand): GASP! HOW DARE YOU! DON'T YOU KNOW SONNY AND CARLY HAVE THE SHOW'S MOST WONDERFULY MARRIAGE, A TRUE PARTNERSHIP, AND SONNY WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO CARLY LIKE THAT, EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD THE NERVE TO GET PREGNANT WITH A BABY EVEN THOUGH IT'S A BURDERN TO HIM? YOU MAKE ME ILL! Get me one of your scarves so I can THROW UP in it!

EMME: I'm just . . . gonna go . . . (walks out backwards)

FRANK: By the way! Did I tell you about my idea about how you should start selling GH themed scarves? No?

STEVE BURTON, walking through the hall and overhearing: That was my fucking idea!

Edited July 19, 2019 by ulkis

[Asp Burger]

Ranking the television characters named Oscar, from most to least loved.  🙂

[OnceSane]

On 8/14/2019 at 3:21 AM, Asp Burger said:

Ranking the television characters named Oscar, from most to least loved.  🙂

Oscar the Grouch will always be #1 to me.

[Asp Burger]

Yeah, all respect to Oscar the Grouch, but the Curb Your Enthusiasm German shepherd was reliable storyline gold. Everyone on that show has a love/hate relationship with Larry David, but theirs was the most delightful of all. And his death episode was so much more moving than GH Oscar's.  Rest in peace, Oscar! 

Okay. Back to regularly scheduled programming.  

Edited August 16, 2019 by Asp Burger

[ouinason]

Rewrite of the baby switch on GH

 

First, Julian knows nothing about the switch.

 

 

Brad agrees to switch the babies, and is a total nervous wreck about the whole thing. He’s twitchy and nervous around the birth mom, Willow (Julian tells Brad who she is when they meet), and starts looking for calm in DoD (same as the show)

 

Lucas becomes more and more frustrated with Brad, starting to worry that maybe he really isn’t into having a child and just goes along to please his husband. He starts hanging around Michael with Wiley a bit more all the time, leaning into the godfather thing and trying to make sense of things. Michael doesn’t like Brad anyway (he tried to blackmail him into sex, eww) and while he doesn’t try to cause problems, he doesn’t defend him either.

 

Lucas also starts thawing a bit toward Julian, seeing him more often as he hands out at Charlie’s more, and he sees him with Leo quite a bit, and being a good dad.

 

Willow hates that Brad is hanging around DoD and Shiloh and freaks out, telling her boyfriend Chase about Wiley’s conception and her concerns about Brad putting Shiloh into Wiley’s orbit. He comforts her and tells her that the only way she can really do anything about it is if she tells Lucas who she is, and tells him the whole story around the adoption. Willow agrees and asks Julian to introduce her to his son, to make it less awkward. Willow tells the whole story, including how she was unsure about being able to hand Wiley over until Julian told her about how wonderful his son was and promised to stay completely out of things if it make her trust them more. She also says that she thinks she was wrong to insist on that, now knowing him.

 

Willow’s mom shows up, knowing that she was pregnant when she ran away and tries to blackmail, guilt and goad her into giving up info about her child. Harmony doesn't believe her when she says the baby is gone and threatens to tell Shiloh. Willow is concerned about this and discusses it at the Nurses’ Ball where Nina overhears and yells at her about being a terrible person for giving her baby away (Nina already hates her for the bullying stuff). Shiloh overhears and guesses that she had his baby and grabs her and threatens her and says that he will take the child, no matter what.

 

Willow freaks out, but for the first time in ages, Brad is super calm. He tells her that it doesn’t matter what Shiloh says, they will make sure that he can’t claim Wiley. He tells her that she should stall for a while, and then demand a paternity test before being compelled to give any information legally about her child. He promises her that any test run will say that the baby isn’t Shiloh’s. She’s confused, but agrees Diane, her lawyer, tells her that it shouldn’t come to that kind of falsification, that she can handle it, but Willow is calm because she trusts that Brad will handle things. Chase worries, but Willow assures him that she’s not going to do anything sneaky at all, just demand that all of the correct legal steps be taken, and she’s confident that Shiloh will have no leg to stand on.

 

Shiloh is smug through winning all of his legal points, even as he continues to threaten Willow at all turns, and figures out that Wiley is her child. He even tries to talk Brad around to his side, thinking that the other man will be an easy mark for DoD and will hand Wiley over with enough pressure. However, when the test results that the court orders come back they say that Shiloh can’t be Wiley’s father and Shiloh losses his shit, saying that Willow has betrayed him and threatening her, saying that she is his property and she will pay.

 

When Shiloh goes to jail Willow is relieved, but then he escapes and kidnaps her. He tells her that she shouldn’t have given her body to someone else, that she belonged to him. He says he could have forgiven her for the cop (Chase), but the idea that she screwed someone else while living as a part of DoD is unacceptable, and that she will have to serve penance for it. He tells her that she will have his child, one way or another.

 

Willow tries to brave it out, but when he gets her to a cabin in the woods and tells her how he plans to rape her until she’s pregnant and then they will be a family she cracks and admits that the DNA test was rigged. Shiloh just sneers at her and tells her he’s not stupid, that she can’t stall using that claim. He’d thought of that, since Brad is the lab manager, and obtained his own samples and ran them at a different lab in New Jersey. He yells at her again, demanding to know who she’d slept with when she was his.

 

Willow is very confused and can’t answer, because there was nobody and then there are sirens and Shiloh escapes before they can get him. Chase comforts Willow, but she can’t get that angry confrontation out of her mind.

 

After being checked out by an EMT, Willow goes to the station to give a statement, still mentally chewing on Shiloh’s words. When she gets there all of her friends are there to support her, including Brad and Lucas with Wiley. She stares at the child that is supposed to be her son and confronts Brad right there in the squad room. She asks why the independent blood test says that Shiloh isn’t Wiley’s father. Why was Brad so confident that it would go their way in the first place? Did he rig the test? How could the results of Shiloh’s test be the same if Brad rigged the court ordered one?

 

Brad flails like a guppy on the beach and then, when Willow turns to Lucas and asks if they can do another test with her and Wiley and Shiloh’s previous sample, Brad cracks and tells the truth. Willow is completely devastated and Lucas and Michael are shocked and horrified. Lucas flees the building with Wiley and Michael, after a few moments collecting himself, has Brad arrested for “Kidnapping, custodial interference, fraud, whatever you want to call it.”

 

The next day Chase meets up with Michael at Charlie’s and they talk about what happened and what will happen next. Chase says that Willow is grieving and despondent, and Michael says that Lucas has holed up in his house with Wiley and isn’t answering the door or phone for anyone. As for the future, Michael doesn’t know what will happen, or what should happen. There is a process to go through either way. There are a lot of legal processes involved in making things right and giving both his son and Willow’s their proper names and places. Chase asks what Michael believes is Wiley’s proper place and Michael admits that he doesn’t know.

 

Nelle finds out in prison that she is being charged with child abandonment, fraud, custodial interference and misuse of a corpse and freaks out. Once she finds out that Shiloh has been killed by Sam she starts to plot what she’s going to do to get out of prison and get her son back.

 

Michael jumps though all the hoops to get Wiley recognized as his son while Lucas slowly works toward accepting the truth. Lucas talks with Julian and with Michael and with Chase and with Brad in jail. Time passes as Michael spends time with Wiley, but leaves him in Lucas’ care until they can get things worked out. Lucas talks Brad into a quick divorce so that Brad’s actions don’t interfere with Lucas’ relationship with Wiley. Willow goes to counseling and she and Lucas have their actual child reburied under a name that they choose for him, since Wiley is Wiley to them forever. Chase and Willow discuss her feelings and she gets comfort from Elizabeth and from Sam.

 

Michael’s parents pressure him to take Wiley from Lucas right away, saying that stalling only makes it harder and he tells his mother “You used to tell me the story sometimes about how, when AJ got custody when I was Wiley’s age, that I would cry and cry because even though AJ was my biological father, Jason was who I belonged with. You told me it broke your heart. How can you expect me to do that to Wiley?” Carly says it’s not the same at all, and even if it is, he’s not the kind of man AJ was. Sonny says that he needs to claim what is his, no matter what.

 

Michael ignores them and comes to a compromise with Lucas. They will share custody of Wiley and change his name to Wiley Jonah Quartermaine-Jones. They agree to be roommates until custody can be made official and legal so Michael moves into Lucas’ guest room. His girlfriend, Sasha, breaks up with him because their lives are going in different directions and she’s not really involved in any of the custody stuff, she feels like a spectator and they need to concentrate on other things in their lives. Michael understands and they stay friends.

[JMO]

My stab at giving Bobbie a happy ending:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14099193/1/Old-Friends

[Laina]

This is all my GH stuff I've made lately:

Fanfiction:
https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Sante_Fics

Graphics:
     

 

Edited January 19 by Laina