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Abby Donovan: Shrew, fishwife, or just a really, really bad Southie accent?


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I was so hoping that they would not make her as dimwitted and slow as Carmela Soprano.  If you are a woman married to a certain type of man, you know what you married.  You also know that you have to be stronger, faster, smarter and more creative than a woman married to a nine to five type.  I would have liked to see her be the one that was really running the show, helping Ray to be Ray and do what he needs to do.  As it is, she is just another problem he has to deal with.  She is no partner and she is certainly not superior to her husband.

 

It would have been a refreshing change to see a female character with some character.  I could see myself hauling off and kicking Mickey in the nuts.  Ray would have never pulled a gun on him because I would have already dealt with him.  He would have had the fear of God in him.  She is also raising two spoiled brats.  Nothing to be proud of there, Mom.

 

When the future across the street neighbor barged in, her reaction was low class.  They should have had her turn her accent into a "park the car in the yard" joke and set the snotty, nosy neighbor on her ass in a totally unexpected way.  They way she blew up was just a typical trash response and it showed her lack of strength.

 

For someone that came from humble beginnings, she has not gone far.

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Amen. 

 

I am a woman and I find her silliness insulting to my intelligence.  I understand the back and forth with her and Ray.  She loves him but she also loves what he can buy for her.  She hates him and she also hates that she likes what he can buy for her.

 

Maybe if she stepped it up a bit, Ray would not be fucking around.  His wandering wiener is not about the sex with her.

 

She was probably the least ho-bag girl he knew back home.  I also know that his dad did not like her.  That's a huge boner right there.

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I wonder what Ray ever saw in this woman. 

This. I'm having a hard time understanding what could have been the initial attraction since right now she's neither his ride-or-die partner nor his beacon of sweetness and light. Or any interesting combination of the two for that matter. She certainly could have changed into ...whoever she is now, but I'd be interested in what ways she's changed.

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This. I'm having a hard time understanding what could have been the initial attraction since right now she's neither his ride-or-die partner nor his beacon of sweetness and light. Or any interesting combination of the two for that matter. She certainly could have changed into ...whoever she is now, but I'd be interested in what ways she's changed.

 

I believe she was probably always a screeching harpy. I tune in and out of this show. I can't recall their backstory. I can't even remember if it's been referenced at some point. I'd definitely like to know how they got together. I wonder if it's as simple as Abby getting knocked up and Ray marrying her.

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I wonder what Ray ever saw in this woman.

From what I remember, I got the impression that they got together very early on.  I picture them both being very young and rough around the edges.  He probably liked the fact that she was fiery and spoke her mind.  Ray probably started out as a small time thug and worked his way up to big time thug.  As Ray started moving in wealthier circles, he had to take on the appearance of being a little more polished.  Abby stayed home with the kids and didn't have many outside influences that might have brought about a change.  So basically, they started out young and gradually evolved into different people.  The Ray of today is attracted to women like the reporter.  That's my theory, anyway.

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I just binged watched the 1st season. I think one of the problems with Abby is that she written like a bunch of stuff (ray being a thug, living in LA, Ray have a only quasi legal business, having a lot of money) just happened like yesterday. But as far as we know she's been living this life for a long time. It's implied Ray has always worked as a legal and illegal thug and that he's always been the type of guy to get some on the side. They moved to CA 15 years ago. They've likely had money for a while since the kids seem pretty settled in Calabasas and living a comfortable lifestyle. So why is all this shit a crisis now? Why does she suddenly have to move to BH and get the kids in private school. Why is she suddenly concerned about how her uneducated street tough husband is making his money? Why does she suddenly seem concerned about his lifestyle? There could be plenty of reasons for shit to be bothering her now more than before, but we haven't been given one. Instead of being sympathetic or even interesting she's just annoying because we really don't know why she's upset or why we should care.

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FozzyBear - If you were a Sopranos watcher, Carmela did the same thing.  She knew what Tony did well before they got married and it was a sort of a turn on.  After a few years, the shine wears off of the apple.  Kids, the politics of life and age make you think about things that you never thought about before.  Carmela -- and Abby -- are looking at the fact that they are not getting any younger, the kids are getting older and they want some sort of real security - financial security as well as marital security.  It is now time to be grown up and get down to business.  Both women know that their husbands fuck around but now they want it to stop.  As long as they were living the life of luxury, they tolerated it.  Both women know that their husbands do shady things.  When it was just about bringing in the money, they looked the other way  They enjoyed every piece of jewelry and every expensive dinner.  Now, both also feel entitled to demand what they want.  They have tolerated his shit for decades and now, it's their turn.

 

Wrong.

 

The man was what he was and has never changed, and he sees no reason to change.  It used to be OK.  Now, it's not?  That makes no sense to a man like that.  That is why we are seeing the new house.  (Carmela did the same thing)  That is why we are seeing the dalliance with the cop from the shooting range.  (Carmela had the home remodeling guy.)   We are seeing the two kids (a boy and a girl, just like Carmela) acting out just like Carmela's kids did.

 

Throw in a few too many wrinkles and a mid-life crisis fueled by menopause, and there you have it.

 

A perpetually upset, dissatisfied, ungrateful, annoying, unhappy woman.  The husband is stumped by the attitude.  To him, he has not changed (and he hasn't) but the wife thinks he needs to change. 

 

I am a woman.  Trust me.  I am on Ray's side.

Edited by Puddy
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It's true that there are a ton of similarities between Carmela and Abby.  They both knew what they were getting into, and they stayed in it as long as they got what they wanted, and have no right to complain.  You reap what you sow.

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Dobian - They don't think so.  They look at it like it's a pissing contest.  You peed, now it's my turn.  Marriage does not work like that and both were aware of what they were marrying.  In their minds, they did not sow a thing.  He did.  Why should I suffer?

 

And there you have the problem.

 

Score-keeping, spoiled little girls that look like grown woman.

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The Soprano's comparisons are interesting and I was a fan. I agree that this is what Ray Donovan is going for, but I don't think the show is accomplishing it nearly as well. The Sopranos gave us two catalytic events very early on. First, Tony's panic attack in episode 1 gave the audience a reasonable plot devise for Carmela reevaluating her life. It gave a framework for Carmella starting to become more worried about the health consequences of Tony's job and for her wanting to have more control in case something did happen. Then the show had Tony moved from a high ranking member of the family to The Boss. So Carmella's social position really did change. I felt like these two plot devises made Carmella's angst more understandable and feel less like the writers just need the wife on the show to have wife problems. In Ray Dononvan nothing in Abby's life has changed so there's no framework for her sudden angst. The return of Micky could have been a catalyst in that way, but it didn't quite click for me. I agree that they are going for a Carmella type development arch. I just don't think it's being very well written.

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The return of Mickey is also on Abby's shoulders.  Ray warned her to not let the wolf in, and she did.   I just wish they would make her a more intelligent woman.  She is not a kid and the naïveté is driving me nuts.  Just look at her "absences" with the kids.  The daughter has way too much free time and is going to eventually get in some sort of huge trouble.  The son is developing a bit of a temper.  Where is she?  Doing yoga, target practice, house shopping and trying to bang a young cop.  She knows what is "out there" and she should be running the show as the real head of the household.

 

Ray might fuck around but he has his big head on bidness.  She has hers up her ass.  When Ray sent Avi over to watch things, she gave him a ration of shit.  She knows better and Avi did not deserve her attitude.

 

I hate it when a woman writer writes parts that make women characters look foolish.  Abby needs to get her shit together.  Ray appears to be unaware of how "hands off" the mother of his kids really is.  I am waiting for it to dawn on him.  Other than that, the character leaves me flat.

Edited by Puddy
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The Soprano's comparisons are interesting and I was a fan. I agree that this is what Ray Donovan is going for, but I don't think the show is accomplishing it nearly as well. The Sopranos gave us two catalytic events very early on. First, Tony's panic attack in episode 1...

 

Both Ray and Tony are very closed off to the people around them and don't share what they really feel.  The one advantage of the Sopranos is that Tony had those panic attacks and went to Dr. Melfi, and through his conversations with her, we the audience got to see inside his head.  Ray Donovan doesn't have that plot device.

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I've decided that Abby is a long-running writers' joke. She is so over-the-top ridiculous that it's the only explanation I can accept. Maybe they're shooting for an Insane Abby meme or just want her death to be the most celebrated tv death in a looong time,

When she was hiding her handgun while nonchalantly rooting through the closet with her crazy racoon eyes (worst makeover evah) and Ray looks her up and down, then says 'You look nice, Abbs,' I think I shouted, "Seriously, writers??!! Stop fucking with my sense of reality!"

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Abby's true colors shining through once again in the season finale. Looking all wide eyed and positively taken when hearing the news about Cookie's death. Which, hey, of course she's going to be relieved the guy is dead, but I wasn't sure if she assumed Ray was involved and was falling in love with him all over again. I guess I'll find out next season. It seemed that out of all the people who were left devastated this season that Abby not getting some sort of comeuppance for her actions was glaringly obvious to me.  

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Abby Donovan has got to be the worst nagging...and pitiful non housewife ever. All she does is ask "what happened" "what's going on" etc. Everytime she shows on the screen I literally cringe at what's about to come out her nosy ass...she doesnt WORK A DAY... yet complains constantly. Her accent is trash. She is the most annoying person in this show. You would think her being ray wife she would at least try to be a somebody or by his side but nope...I'm on season 4 and I wish she'd just die already 

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