LibertarianSlut

Earth to Heather—the Met Gala is not a location, it’s a gala. I find her so dumb and grating. And she’s seething beneath the surface. Heather gets along so well with Jen because they both get pleasure out of other people’s misfortunes; Heather just manages to keep it hidden better. Heather is very bitter about her divorce and misery loves company. Mary is the polar opposite of Jen from what I’ve seen so far. Jen reacts to everything, even things that don’t exist anywhere but her brain. Mary is sedate and deliberative. When Mary had Lisa over at her house and she just dryly dropped the line that Whitney loves the pole with no irony or emotion whatsoever, my interest was actually piqued for the first time all episode. Mary played Jen this episode. I think that it was purposeful to make it look like Jen was interrupting her long prayer and getting Jen to open up at the table by “opening up” first. When someone doesn’t scream for attention, it makes me want to lean in a little closer to hear what they’re saying. I think Mary may be the smartest one, and she has an agenda. She was pretty much the only thing redeeming about this snooze of an episode. Lisa also gives off a bit of a still waters run deep vibe to me too. I don’t think either Mary or Lisa can split the atom by a long shot, but at least you can’t read them right off the bat. I feel like these two are the only ones coming onto the franchise with any sort of guile, and I appreciate that in a reality TV personality.

Alright, so why is Meredith separated from her husband? She never said, except giving a vague explanation about life wearing on them. That’s not a reason. If you’re going to go on reality TV, share it. Because, honey, the default opinion is going to be that he’s got hoes in different area codes. IRL, Mary would not have invited Jennifer to her lunch. So why just not invite her and make this one iota realistic or invite her to film the television show, but then don’t literally spend a scene debating it? Not inviting someone is not “negativity”; it’s maturity actually. It’s called having boundaries. Wouldn’t a minister know about that? (Rhetorical question). What worries me is that we’re a handful of episodes in and they’re already reaching to fill 44 mins with “should I or shouldn’t I invite her?”

Jen had someone carrying her train into the party last episode, and that person couldn’t alert her to the fact that she had major back fat rolls going on? She reminds me a little of Henry VIII in that none of their people wants to fuck with dems, or it could be death. I am with Brooks in that I saw a part of her I never need to see again—her flab. Oh, and let me not get started on her nails. Jen is a bigger bitch than Nene Leakes, but Nene took 12 seasons to get this bad—Jen has eclipsed Nene in just over three episodes. And Jen is still screaming that Mary “fucks her grandpa”? I’m sure the Mormon Church found her departure a huge loss. I figured out how to tell the brunettes apart—Lisa has brown eyes and Meredith has blue eyes. I know it’s not much to go on, but as soon as I realized it, I never really got them confused again. They’re friends with Jen because they’re afraid of her? That’s the underpinning of a healthy relationship, if I’ve ever heard one.

There’s no there there with this show. I must have been completely high last week when I speculated that the cast hanging around the pool in Palm Springs was “a watershed moment.” This show is just flat and boring. When things like Kelly saying “toe-let” and me wondering what Gina’s maiden name is, because “Kerschenheiter” doesn’t sound Italian to me, and I’m noticing how much Gina’s accent varies depending on who she is speaking to, there is a problem with the show. I think it’s starting to get super creepy how Braunwyn tries to coerce people into going to AA meetings with her. I know all about open meetings—I know it’s allowed. I also know that it’s supposed to be a program of attraction, not promotion, and ain’t nothing attractive about Braunwyn hassling everyone in sight to join her. It’s manipulative. I never thought I would drop a Housewives franchise—I prided myself on watching each and every one—but I dropped Atlanta, and I feel great about it. This one may very well be next. Nothing about it moves me anymore.

This is what has been bothering me about her too, but I couldn’t put my finger on it! I can’t stand the laugh at the end of every sentiment. Reminds me of Carole on RHNYC. I think it’s a subtle way of conveying that they’re above the fray, but, by virtue of being on this show, they are so not above the fray. Elizabeth’s apparently a giant liar too. Who at Bravo is responsible for this casting? The same person who casted Danielle, the one who was cut after filming all of season nine? Wouldn’t surprise me. And Elizabeth was poor growing up! She’s getting divorced! And she used to fly her friends around in private jets!!!! Who knew?!? Braunwyn is such a horrid woman. When speaking to that therapist, she was way too familiar with her own story. I don’t doubt that it’s true, but it sounds very self-centered to have every single detail of her life—dates, places and times—down pat. I think Braunwyn spends a lot more time thinking about Braunwyn than she does thinking about anything or anyone else. That’s why each season she highlights one kid—last season it was Rowan, this season it’s Jacob—because it seems almost like she just realized they’re there and they can serve her purpose of a storyline. She probably spent de minimus time raising them before that. I still remember Kelly going in on Vicki for being uneducated at the season 13 reunion, which I thought was in poor taste, because so many people are uneducated. Go in on Vicki for...being Vicki, no? So I thought it was funny when Kelly told Elizabeth that the other girls were “weary” or her, instead of “wary.” Like, does Elizabeth’s presence make the ladies want to fall asleep? I thought that was Emily’s job. It’s so interesting that Kelly says Shannon gets drunk and goes off on people (which is, of course, true), but Kelly is the freaking queen of that, so, pot calling kettle. Sophie, despite who her mom is, is one of the best adult children to come out of this franchise. There is a sweetness to her. In the past, the teenaged girls on this show were a bunch of sluts, plus the Debbie Downer who was Brianna. I like the twins too, just because they’re so pretty and they act their age, not like a bunch of 35 year olds who pretend they know everything, like some of the older kids on other franchises. I can’t believe how skinny Shannon used to be 20 years ago! I shiver to imagine what kind of starving, raging bitch Shannon was on her wedding day.

I don’t think this show has been able to make quarantining look interesting. I thought the concept behind a “reality show” was that it was supposed to be a novel take on a novel person’s life, such as someone who is extremely fat who can dance. But...her quarantine just looks like everyone else’s quarantine, so why does the show think we all want to keep watching? Especially nine months later. If they’re going to keep up this kind of coverage, why would the audience watch instead of just...living regular life and experiencing it first hand? Oh my God, some people have to work from home, some people are essential workers, so they still go to work, but they’re being cautious, some people’s kids are getting on their nerves, some people are worried their businesses will close, holy shit!!!!! This is not just a problem I have with this show. This is a problem I’m having with all of my reality shows, and it’s actually depressing me more than the quarantine itself, because at least when quarantining began in real time, there was escapist TV! Now this virus is even penetrating scripted TV. This sucks. Maybe I need to go watch a period piece and cool off. Whitney is just such a pain in the ass spending a whole episode trying to come up with reasons why she can’t/won’t go to or move to Wilmington. The best excuse is that she can’t see anyone because she’s at a high risk factor because she’s morbidly obese. That is so surprising, except for the fact that being morbidly obese puts one at a higher risk of every single other thing on the face of the earth too!!! I thought the point of this show was to show how one can be fat and fabulous despite the morbid obesity. Wouldn’t she just take the risk and go live with Chase if that was really something she wanted to do? I would never not quarantine with my husband, nor would I have considered it when we were engaged, regardless of the risk factor. I think most people feel this way, so this excuse/lie isn’t flying with me. I mean, most of the lies and excuses at least come with slightly cuter window dressing. And if she got it—she’s 35 years old—there is a great likelihood that she would recover relatively quickly. What’s with the selective fear of illness/death? If she was that afraid of harming herself, she’d lose 100 lbs, not to mention 200... Buddy hasn’t seen his face beardless since “October 28, mumble-mumble-mumble-mumble”? Was that before or after the last time we was able to look down and see his penis? The poodle was cute. Aw nuts, they said production was shut down and I was so happy and then they switched to “next time.” Damn. I was hoping this show would make the decision for me and put me out of my misery.

On rewatch, i noticed that this episode may have been where this cast hits its stride for the season. The pool scene, specifically, struck me as a watershed moment (no pun intended), where the cast finally realized they were finally going to sink or swim on the basis of relationships they can form amongst each other, without self-consciously looking back to Tamra and Vicki. The episode had a better flow to it than I originally gave it credit for. We had Kelly and Shannon on one extreme, who have been around awhile and they get really drunk and that feels like old school OC and then we have a more new age OC in Gina, Braunwyn and Emily where they are going to AA meetings. I’m kind of taking my time with judging it, because it may be the most fabulous clash or the titans in Housewife history, or this motley crew could somehow make it as a fun bunch. I would be happy with either. I am not one for pranks by a long shot, but it did seem well-timed for Kelly to push Elizabeth into the pool. Elizabeth had been spinning her wheels about her ex, everyone gave their own two cents, the woman still seemed irrational and determined to drive her sanity into the ground through this divorce, so she got a good-natured shove into the pool. I wish more episodes would flow this way. At least it feels like “sad” and “tincture” have finally been put to bed. If that’s all I got out of this episode, I’ll take it!

I hated Ashley and Monique’s hair at their sit-down lunch, each for different reasons. Ashley looks so rough this season. I noticed a tramp stamp when she got up to do something for Dean (why am I not surprised?) And Ashley really needs to decide on a hair color/scheme. Wendy, who is not as pretty as them in the face, looked so much fresher and more stylish at the pumpkin patch. Karen completely said in Portugal that Monique wasn’t invited to the wig event. Monique was going to accept whatever it was that was said, because beggars can’t be choosers. I’m not sure why Karen thinks it’s ok to lie so much. This is why she’ll never be one of my favorites. She knows about cameras and mics, right? I’m not sure why Michael needs to answer for his actions to Uncle Lump and Sheila. He should have to answer to Ashley, unless they’re paying Michael’s bills. And, according to Ashley, he didn’t do anything so bad—he kissed a woman in a hotel room without Ashley’s prior consent, because, according to Ashley, the marriage was open, subject only to some constraints. Sheila wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t want an apology—she wants to keep the checks coming. Karen thinks the way to forgive and move on is through lying? Interesting. Monique has no shame in her game allowing herself to get hustled out of the party before it starts. That was an interesting tidbit that Gizelle dropped that the business is Steven’s, not Karen’s, business. I thought Ashley looked kind of spectacular in her wig. Robyn looked great both ways. Who really cares, when all is said and done, whether Karen was lying about having an ulcer? If Karen’s lips are moving, she’s lying. Ashley doesn’t need to expose that. It was so funny that Ray ducked out as soon as Karen brought up Juan. Also, if Karen had something to say about Juan, why didn’t she say it? She’s so full of shit. That was a rough episode. Karen in a bathtub, Gizelle taking some uncomfortable pictures, Karen lying. Some riveting stuff.

If Jon is for real, Shannon should hold onto him tight. Shannon looked like such a shrew, shrieking about the (non) water with her split ends and then yanking up the back of her dress. I actually liked her better as the drunk aunt, teetering around the party, giving nonsensical warnings. No one looked good at that vow renewal. Emily’s dress has already been covered (though it didn’t do enough covering). Gina and Shannon looked like Victorian school marms, Kelly should know that a full-breasted woman isn’t supposed to wear a high neck, and Elizabeth looked like she was going to the beach in a bathing suit that is made for an A-cup and a size two (and Elizabeth is like Emily in that she’s “not a size two”). Kelly made me laugh between “free enterprise!” and being real with Braunwyn’s mom, asking her if she washes “that shit” that is her hair. I think that’s something we all want to know. Kelly was so drunk too. I thought Kelly and Shannon drunkenly fighting was hysterical. There is at least some history there that I can appreciate. Shannon speaking Spanish drunk was really funny to me too. I don’t care if Elizabeth is having sex. I’m not all that interested in Elizabeth. I think she would have been just fine as a friend of. She’s 45 and she’s only thinking about freezing her eggs now? That sounds like an uphill battle, though she looks young. It’s almost beyond belief that Elizabeth is three years older than Braunwyn! It’s not interesting to me to meet this woman going through a divorce. She should have come on the show after she was divorced, so that she could talk about it, and we could understand why she was going so crazy. We already put up with Gina and her coded divorce language for two seasons—can we get a break please? It’s so odd how everyone on the show is conflating not serving tequila at the reception with not serving alcohol at the reception (they were clearly serving vodka) and not being allowed to drink tequila off the premises, which was always allowed. The only thing Braunwyn said was that she wasn’t serving tequila. Between the two nannies and Sean and Braunwyn, no one could wash the kids’ hair? I completely agree with Emily that Elizabeth should not communicate with her estranged husband as their divorce plays out (the one that can’t be spoken of). I completely agree with Gina that Elizabeth should “walk away” from her husband. Elizabeth is not hanging on because “he won’t settle.” She is hanging on because she’s not ready to let go of a guy who had a baby with someone else while he was married to her! I was not pleased with this Elizabeth-centric episode. I’m not pleased with Elizabeth. I would be happy for Gina and Emily to be the faces of this franchise for the rest of the season. That’s how much the other ladies are wearing on me. So many shrews and harpies.

Ok, so assuming this is fake, and it’s “Chase Severino” played by Chase Severino—this storyline makes “Chase Severino” look like the worst, most immature person ever (aside from perhaps the rest of the cast, but that still leaves approximately 99.9999999% of the population). I either forgot or never realized in the first place that Chase agreed to move to Charlotte with Whitney and then changed his mind...in the form of a card that was left under a doormat that she drove 185 miles to get to!! Holy. Shit. Are the writers trying to make “Chase Severino” look like a villain? Why else wouldn’t they have him sit down with Whitney and have a conversation or a series of conversations about why that’s no longer a viable option? Or at least, like...an email? I thought Whitney was supposed to be the villain here...? The reason doesn’t matter. This is bad storytelling. If a person commits to something to someone they claim to love—which is the story we’re being given, whether it’s fact or fiction—they don’t get to unilaterally change their minds without a ton of communication or being the bad guy. It’s one or the other. If the house in Wilmington is a set, whoo-boy, who decorated it? That’s worse than a frat house with the jersey hung on a hanger on a nail on the wall as a decorative piece instead of behind glass and the baseball caps lined up in rows on top of a dresser instead of hung up on some kind of stand. That’s just ghetto. And the giant black and white glossy of Chase and Whitney framed perfectly. One of these things is not like the other... Whitney thought Chase would spend all his time with her if it wasn’t for the club/bar? I thought he was also working construction (full-time) in Wilmington, as the story goes. How was that going to resolve itself? They have problems. But the bigger problem is that he didn’t name a drink after her, and their astrological signs don’t match up! The idea that it was 2019 and they believed there was anything to be learned about a person by virtue of the date of their birth is sufficient reason for them to break up...or stay together. I’m so taken aback that I don’t know which one. Amplify? Is that the name of the “clerb”? If that’s a real place, it don’t exactly look jumping jumping. They had to know the show wasn’t going to spring for music that wasn’t in the public domain, which at least MTV does for Floribama Shore. Never show a club with no music or random “Baum Baum Baum Baum Baum” in the background. It makes it look lame, no exceptions. That is the first rule of Fight Club. I have no reason not to believe the place was so empty because of COVID, but that’s another reason anyone interested in promoting the place should have pulled it from filming wide shots. It made it look like a place to avoid. It reminded me of that episode of Forensic Files where one couple met another couple at the Ocean City, MD club Seacrets and the one couple murdered the other couple and put their severed heads in a hot tub—not the fault of the club by any stretch of the imagination, but neither Amplify nor Seacrets are on my list of places to hit up on my next tour of the mid-Atlantic seaboard. It’s all about image, fair or unfair. The real Chase Severino and his partners would have been better served to arrange with production to flash a few pics of a bunch of people dancing in there in January like they did, show a tight shot of Whitney trying “her” drink that is not really hers, and spend the rest of the episode trying to fish a ring out of Whitney’s ginormous cleavage or whatever the hell they did in the back half of the episode; I was too bored to really watch. I was just not impressed with the setting of this episode. It did a disservice to Wilmington. That’s all I got.

Ashley withholding the info from Candiace about the statement, so that she could fly out the next day and not deal with the fallout, was right out of the playbook of Bethenny Frankel, season 8 RHNYC, waiting until the end of the weekend in Miami to tell Luann that Tom was cheating on her. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Or, as Wendy said it better, “that’s some snake shit.” It is oh so crystal clear now more than ever that Ashley was trying to goad Candiace into a fight on the first night of va-cay, so that Ashley could be like, “see, you’re dangerous! And now I have no choice but to tell the court how unstable you are.” Well played, Candiace. I thought it was refreshing that all of these women were willing to wear bathing suits on camera. Not one word of protest or, “oh my God, I’m not wearing a bathing suit around skinny little Candiace!” like they do on RHNJ, or worse, Lisa VanderPump just refusing to wear a bathing suit on vacation in the Bahamas. What the hell is the point of being rich then? After seeing so many gigantic, fake, heaving bosoms for the last 10 years all over Bravo, it was refreshing to see Candiace’s petite body. Candiace ducking under the tablecloth to send Chris naughty pics made Ashley go rigid with jealousy. The only person who has any use for Ashley’s breasts is Dean. While I’m at it, Ashley has never had much in the way of a waist, but she is positively bullet-shaped right now. Wendy’s body has bounced back from her pregnancy way better than Ashley’s has, but Wendy had the decency to wear a classy black robe-type dress. Ashley needs quite a few more sessions in the gym to work that red outfit. I am guessing Karen’s wig party will be the finale? And Monique’s not invited! Can’t come a moment too soon. Karen’s ok, but it’s like her Achilles Heel is lying. If there is a lie to be told that is just as easy as telling the truth, Karen goes with the lie. It’s like a compulsive thing. Lying about the reason for not drinking was stupid. When she got real with the sex talk—she’s retired from blowjobs and she uses a vibrating pillow to get off—she was so funny and likable! The most questionable thing to me about Ashley’s masturbation with strangers stories was, what was Michael doing at a David Guetta concert??? I can’t imagine how many asses were surreptitiously grabbed that day. I don’t know what Karen was talking about with regard to Candiace releasing a glass after Monique attacked her. Was that supposed to be some big Colombo moment? When someone is knocking your brain against a hard, flat surface, you may lose your grip on the item you’re holding. Michael can shut the fuck up with “brandishing a knife” too. I truly feel bad for Candiace. I believe this is a nightmare for her. Those tears were real for once. Those are the tears of a girl who found herself in a physical altercation that she didn’t want. I went to a pretty strict private school where no one ever touched each other because the fear of God was put into us, but one time two girls got into a shoving match in the cafeteria, and as soon as the fight was broken up, one of the girls had tears of anguish come to her eyes that reminded me a lot of Candiace. Where I went to school and where Candiace is from (dare I say where Chris Samuels comes from), girls just didn’t put their hands on each other. I can imagine it’s just another day at the office where Monique comes from, which is why she was so flippantly doing Milani’s hair the next day and it didn’t quite click why Chris had outstanding questions or comments.

Agreed that shit went on in every decade. In my world, you go and have the 1920s party—because it’s not that deep—and you let bygones be bygones with a church that had a racial problem in the seventies, because shit did go on in every decade. I’m just stating that Jen and Heather haven’t let historical shit go with the church, yet they give the 1920s a pass and I think that’s inconsistent. I have a problem with neither the church nor the decade of the 1920s. I think the most logical thing is to have a problem with neither. Heather and Jen both said they left their churches because of racial problems that occurred before they were born, but they don’t hesitate to celebrate a decade with far greater racial problems. It’s their hypocrisy, not celebrating the decade, that makes me think less of them. Hopefully I’ve made my point clear...I can’t think of a better words to use to explain my position. I’m just going to let it go.

Chances are that you’re right. Because Jen’s ignorance and insulting nature have no bounds. Brooks is awful, whereas I think “awful” would be too good of a word for Jen. Do you disagree with me, or with them? Because I am in complete agreement with what you wrote that I bolded (you said it better than I could). What I am saying is that Jen and Heather look like fools and hypocrites for embracing the 1920s while simultaneously rejecting a church because of its stance from half a century ago. They stated that they have problems with the past and race relations. I have a problem with their selective outrage, not with the 1920s. I think they think they’re being woke, but they just look stupid to me. Have them show me a church (or synagogue or mosque) that’s had historical staying power, and I’ll show them a religious institution that has set demographic limitations that would be considered inappropriate today. People from 40, 60, 100 years ago can’t be tasked with the social norms we hold today. A hundred years from now, maybe some other seismic shift will occur, and people will consider the practice of eating meat inhumane. Does that mean all meat-eaters across time should get written off? Because that’s how ridiculous their argument reads to me. And Jen thinking leaving Mormonism for Islam is a solution is very possibly a case of the cure being worse than the disease. My question is where the current Mormon church stands on race relations. Because I know for a fact that there are currently—in 2020—fairly significant intra-Muslim race problems between black and non-black Muslims in America. And Jen is ok with the way women are treated? And gay people? Where is Jen on this? Or did she just marry to a Muslim man and decide to convert to his faith and not grapple with the hard truths? I can’t with her. I just caaaaaan’t. Last night I saw Utah playing their first football game of the season, and I found myself hoping they would lose, just because it would be a burr under the saddle of Jen Shah.

I estimate that I have less of a problem with Siggy than 80% of the viewers, but where she lost me was when she was completely unwilling to change her game plan when Margaret was added into the mix. Season 7, Jacqueline brings Siggy onto the show, so as a sign of deference, Siggy is Jacqueline’s wing-woman, and Siggy and Dolores obviously have some type of side agreement to never say a bad word about the other one that lasted through season 8. In other words, Siggy thought she knew her place at the bottom of the pecking order of Housewives as a newcomer and was happy to exist there, as she figured she’d rise up the ranks eventually. Season 8, there is a newcomer Margaret, whom Siggy brought onto the show, but Margaret is suddenly speaking up and not doing Siggy’s bidding like she anticipated, and Siggy simply couldn’t come to terms with it and lost her ever-loving mind and never quite recovered it. I would think, at 50 years old and a relationship expert, Siggy could have gathered her wits about her and said, “ok, this is not going to plan. Time to regroup.” But no, she let it take her down, and I don’t respect that. My other problem with Siggy was that she had different standards for people based on their status. Ironically, Margaret goes on to make that same mistake in seasons nine and ten. Siggy would let Teresa get away with murder, because Teresa was HBIC, and Melissa was under Teresa’s protection, so even though Siggy never really liked Melissa (points to Siggy), those two were untouchable. Danielle was even afforded way more leeway than she deserved due to her ‘insider’ status. So Margaret was left as the lone duck for Siggy to make her attack, and I just didn’t find that fair. If you’re going to be a bitch, fine, be a bitch to everyone equally. Where this crescendoed in ugliness, I think, was at the restaurant in Milan on the first night they were there. The topic of walking in Kim D’s fashion show came up, Siggy did not feel like she could take on Teresa and Melissa, so she just switched the topic of conversation to Margaret having brought up Hitler’s name with regard to Kim D’s fashion show in a prior conversation, and called Margaret an anti-Semite, because that was all she had in her arsenal, and I thought it was pretty ugly (though I’m not clutching my pearls over it either. I’ve seen a lot worse). The topic of Kim D’s fashion show is utterly ridiculous. That thing was being aired in season eight come hell or high water. They kept giving us shots from outside of the venue, making sure to get the name out there, so it was premeditated by the powers that be that someone on the cast was going to go there for something. I guess, as relative newcomers, Dolores and Siggy drew the short straws and had to walk. I really wish they would have been able to break the fourth wall and say that. But I don’t know where all this moral indignation came from for Kim D in season eight in the first place. Everyone should have been done with her after season four, where she set Melissa up at the fashion show, but they needed her for drama (her show was the season finale for season five), so all of their hands were dirty there, and I guess the show just saw her as a necessary evil (and I disagree with the show there—I simply think Kim D is evil). So with all of this in mind, I am not sure how I felt about Margaret making the analogy about guilty by association vis a vis Kim D, and just because Hitler wouldn’t have killed Margaret in the Holocaust, that doesn’t make him good. This was a really wasted opportunity for Siggy, because what she really should have said was, “How are you so sure Hitler wouldn’t have killed you Margaret? Would you not have assisted Jews in escaping? Would you have cooperated with the Nazis?” Total blown opportunity. But Siggy was ridiculous in her increasing insistence that no one should ever mention Hitler’s name unless they’re referring to the Holocaust, and then she changed it to no one should ever mention Hitler’s name around her period, which made her sound like a Holocaust denier, and I think she should have been called out for same, which was a missed opportunity on Margaret’s part. Just as an aside, I think people should take about Hitler often. He was a genocidal dictator who was able to commit systematic mass murder of a population of a continent for over a decade, and he did this in the 20th century. I think Stalin should be studied and talked about too. I’m not even advocating talking about genocide in an effort to “never forget”; I think it goes far beyond that and it is worthwhile to study how such organized evil was allowed to flourish for so long in the modern world and use our best efforts never to let it happen again. I don’t think Siggy would disagree with any of this, but she became so unhinged, so irrational, that she played herself. If Siggy is that much of a special snowflake that no one can mention Hitler around her, but her dad, who was in a concentration camp, can teach college courses about it, there’s something untoward going on, and Siggy might need some counseling. I think she had a good, if confused, heart and I liked her family and her home, but the best thing Siggy could do was get off this show, because it seemed like she was having a nervous breakdown toward the end. There is nothing Margaret did that justified that much of a response, whether it was having a memorial for Teresa’s mom, calling Siggy “Soggy”, weighing in on Posche fashion show, mentioning Hitler by way of analogy, or anything else. Siggy had a Margaret problem that she didn’t have the maturity to solve, so the show had to go on without her. I wish her the best. I hope she actually moved to Boca. I hope her kids are doing well. I don’t go on social media, because I think it’s a cesspool on my soul, but my conclusion from watching the show is that Siggy was like the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz in that she lacked the courage to go up against Teresa, so all frustration was re-routed to Margaret, who didn’t deserve all the rage. I don’t think Siggy lacked a brain or a heart, but without the courage, the narratives stop making sense and it’s time for a change-up. Best example I can think of is at the reunion, Andy was sort of deconstructing Margaret’s metaphor and he said that Kim D never build a concentration camp, and Teresa interjected “That we know of! That we know of!” I thought it was kind of funny, because I have a dark sense of humor like that, but Siggy should have walked off the set in response to Teresa “making light of” the Holocaust, yet there was no response from Siggy, because she was more afraid of Teresa than she felt the need to live up to the standard that she articulated, and that kind of told me all I needed to know about her. She really is, even though I don’t read her social media, but what season eight Siggy and RHNYC season three Jill had in common was that the cameras went up, and each of them went in on their respective targets—Margaret and Bethenny—with no mercy. Siggy even admitted as such at the reunion. She told Margaret that she wanted to destroy her, because Margaret pissed her off, and as an Israeli, her response is to destroy. How insulting to the Israelis! This cast has done so much work to destroy the reputation of Italian-Americans, but I think, in one fell swoop, Siggy took the title of exaggerating a stereotype in order to rationalize completely irrational behavior in the worst taste possible. But what I said about liking Siggy more than 80% of the viewers comes in because there are so many shady characters that make their way onto this show, such as Kim D, that I am grading Siggy on a curve, and I just don’t believe she was worse than the way that Jacqueline and Caroline acted in concert to take Teresa down in season four and the way the Gorgas-Walkiles coordinated to take Teresa down in season three. The way they all went in for the kill on Danielle in seasons one and two was so disgusting, and only Teresa and Dina can be forgiven because they later expressed regret about their actions. Crickets from Caroline and Jacqueline. Kim G—also vile. If Siggy can get on the proper meds, I would think she would have a much greater sense of empathy that Melissa, and that’s not nothing. So it’s a mixed bag with Siggy—mostly negative—but this show tends to attract the lowest of the low. That one twin that was on for one season—Teresa Aprea—she had freaking ice in her veins. I’m halfway convinced she had no soul once I looked into her eyes. Siggy is better than her at the very least. Clink, clink.

Twenty percent of Heather’s employees are pregnant for the first time with boys??? Was there a groupon for the fertility doctor or something? I’m a little tired of people on this show explaining the Mormon ideals, yet not practicing Mormonism. What is the point of talking all about this religion that they don’t live? And, I’m sorry, there is no “Mormon 2.0.” It’s not in the dictionary. If Lisa wants to invent that, she has to explain exactly what it is. Is that like being a Cafeteria Catholic? Then what is the point of converting to such a religion? What I think is really missing from this show is a brief, yet in-depth explanation of what Mormonism is, since it’s so central to the show, and then each woman who is associated with it—either as a convert or someone born into the faith who has since rejected it—should explain what their religious practices are on the daily and/or what they used to be, because I am a fairly intelligent person, yet I am so confused about so many things they say. Non sequiturs such as Heather rejecting the church because she likes rap music and Lisa’s son thinking the 10 Commandments tell you not to smoke don’t cover it. The closest anyone has come to an explanation of the big picture of the faith was when Heather said that Mormons believe you can attain perfection here on earth. Last episode, Lisa alluded to the gospel of the church versus the ministry. Ok, but those were one sentence. If this is going to be the thrust of the franchise, I would like a paragraph from them. I don’t think it’s too much to ask on a show that has angel voices in the background, with a camera that constantly pans to a huge Mormon church covered in snow. And if you’re not Mormon and you’re on the show, maybe don’t talk about it obsessively, because that makes it even more confusing. Like, where I grew up, the people were Catholic by a slim majority, but I’m not Catholic, so I never felt the need to say, “The Catholic Church asks you to give up something for Lent, but I don’t do that.” If I went on TV and made mentions of how the Catholic Church doesn’t approve of birth control...but I use birth control, and the Catholic Church doesn’t approve of premarital sex...but I had premarital sex, I think people would (rightfully) be confused as hell about me, and wonder why I had such a fixation with Catholicism. It’s irrelevant to my social practices if it’s not my faith. As troubling as it is to me that Mary doesn’t talk in full sentences—her mumble-stutter is actually kind of maddening—at least it makes sense to me that she spends so much time talking about her own church, not someone else’s church (I’m not interested in going down the Reddit rabbit hole with any of these people. I judge them off the four corners of the episode). She hasn’t really bothered me yet. I wouldn’t marry my step-grandpa—it’s not my cup of tea—and if someone in my social circle did it, I’d maybe, at most, politely whisper some impolite things about them and then I’d stop, because it’s not my business. I’m not entirely sure why this unconventional type of marriage is being called out as sick, whereas other types of unconventional marriages are celebrated. I think Mary’s being held to a double standard. That’s ok that that’s an UO. I have a lot of those. I also like the fact that Mary is open and honest about her marriage, without getting defensive and without shoving it down our throats, like that other Ho on this show... Speaking of, Jen’s nose is so fucking scary. She paid for that shit??? What could it possibly have looked like before that it deserves to look like this post-surgery? Everything about her disgusts me. She is a seeping vat of attention. She wears open-toed heels all the time in the snow...why? Does she think she’s Mariah Carey in that her quirkiness is her calling card? Because that shit isn’t even working for MC in 2020, and it sure as a shit ain’t working for Jen Shah. She talks about nothing except herself and her husband. Ok, Brooks is fucking ridiculous, and his reasoning about Jen is wrong, but he’s not wrong about Jen. I just disagree about how he arrived at his conclusion. Because the bitch was kicking her leg up? Huh? Where does kicking one’s leg up fall on the offensiveness scale between the thumbs-up emoji and pantomiming the lifting of one’s shirt as a way to convey the way a fellow cast member was perceived at BYU? Whether her personality is good or not, I think Meredith is one of the prettiest Housewives facially who has come around in some time, although the nasal voice detracts from her beauty. Is the prettiness why Jen doesn’t like her? I get the feeling Jen only likes the people who kiss her ring. The employees need to shout her name at the beginning of every shift? Why do I get the feeling she is like Stalin in that the first one who stops clapping for her gets sent to the gulag? And her reaction to Meredith canceling the sleepover to spend time with her daughter who is home from college was so disproportionate to the offense. Everything is all only about Jen; hasn’t Meredith heard? I just simply can’t stand Whitney. Lisa has a flat affect, and she seems like she’s hooked up to a Xanax drip, but I think that is exactly who she is. She’s not putting on a fake personality. Whitney, on the other hand, seems so fake and contrived. I don’t believe the cadence of her super soft and her super slow voice in her talking heads and the way she ends all of her sentences in up-talk, as if it’s all a question, is her genuine personality. I...can’t...STAND it? (That was my impression of Whitney in writing). She is such a cliche—the good little Mormon girl who went bad, complete with the stripper pole in her basement, the rose vine tattoo that starts at her upper torso that goes to God-knows-where, the platinum hair, the red lip, and dropping F bombs for, I guess...shock value? The only thing that prevents Whitney from becoming a complete cliche is that she doesn’t have a teeny tiny nose piercing. She’s got to be able to modify that voice that sounds like she just took a hit of helium off a balloon at least a little bit. She just chooses not to for some very odd reason. I have never seen someone who fetishizes the forbidden quite as much as Whitney. Her eyes just light up like a Christmas tree at the idea of “possibly” smoking something illegal and the fact that some people drank liquor during Prohibition! Is she twelve? What is she going to confess next, that she jay-walked once? She was late returning a book to the library? There is something so repressed about her that she is desperately trying to overcome, yet it is crystal clear she is not past the struggle, she is deeply within the struggle. If she would drop the pretense and just be who she was, Whitney would be exponentially more interesting. I found Heather’s toast to the mothers-to-be at the baby shower mildly insulting and condescending. If you think they’re too young to have babies, don’t celebrate them. If you think that motherhood is going to be a nightmare for them, keep it to yourself at the party that is centered on how exciting it is to have a baby. Maybe these five women will like motherhood, and if Heather didn’t like it, that’s her problem. Maybe they have husbands who will help them with the children and love them. Is she jealous? So here’s something—Jen and Heather have a serious problem with the Mormon Church because black men weren’t allowed to hold positions of power until 40 or 50 years ago, but they have no problem going out of the way to celebrate the 1920s, a much more racist time in America’s history, when Klan membership was at a historic high? That’s not how I look at things—I understand the prejudice and racism occurred across time in American and every other society and I’m not going to reject everything that was associated with bigotry, or I’d have to reject literally everything and start my own society—but them setting that standard and then having the 1920s party with no pause for thought makes them look very foolish to me, if not hypocritical. Jen is really going to freak out every time Mary—her cast member—is invited to an event? It’s going to be a long season... These franchises are all getting so stale, that I think I will stick with this one for longer than I normally would have—I think it’s better than the current iterations of RHNYC, RHOA, RHBH and RH Potomac, which are all bleeding and boring, but there are two members of this cast—Whitney and Jen—that are more unlikable to me than any two given members of the casts I listed above, and Heather is teetering on the precipice. If the two pretty brunettes with the nasal voices and vapid personalities were gone—the ones I like by default(!)—I would consider putting this show in my rear view mirror. Did anyone think of Charlie Sheen in the movie Lucas when Meredith turned on the blender with no top and the entire smoothie went everywhere? Just me? I’ll show myself out.

I watched this episode again, mostly because I’m a masochist, but also because everyone was talking about Emily’s awful dress, and I didn’t even notice it on first watch, and all I can say is WOW (about the dress). I also noticed: The “Braunwyn Burke” family made multiple references to good choices, bad choices and better ones throughout the episode. First of all, I don’t understand celebrating poor choices. That’s not really a thing. And second of all, they really forcing this thing down our throats. It’s almost like all the various characters on Arrested Development who used to say “I’ve made a huge mistake,” only that was hilarious and this is Braunwyn. The drag queen as the officiant reminded me of the “Braunwyn Burke” Addams Family Christmas card picture from last year—anything to get attention and be noticed. It also reminded me of that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when Susie and Jeff hired a woman to interpret their daughter’s wedding vows in sign language, but the woman had a huge bosom, so all of the guests were fixated on the signer and not the bride and Susie was freaking out. Again, funny on a satire, tone deaf in real life. Braunwyn keeps repeating to anyone who will listen that she is afraid that quitting drinking will lose her all her friends...yet it is Braunwyn who is breaking off the friendship with Shannon because they can’t agree whether Shannon uttered the word “sad.” Season six reunion Tamra said it best: “You’re such a fucking victim!” I feel bad for Shannon’s kids that they always have to coexist with other kids. When they’re with their mom, they’re with John’s kids, and a season or two ago Shannon expressed concern at the reunion that she is worried about her kids being around David and his fiancée, because the fiancee’s kids are always around. I would be freaking pissed if I was a child of divorce and my parents had all this money, but I couldn’t get a little breathing room. Write it all down, Sophie, publish it, then go off to Baylor and date the man there who has the least in common with your dad, who looks like a psycho stalker from a Lifetime movie! I know this may be premature, as Shannon just unblocked Emily from social media this episode, but it appears as if the season is stacking up between Kelly, Braunwyn and Elizabeth on one side and Gina, Emily and Shannon on the other. I grudgingly back the latter. I hope this alliance between Braunwyn and Gina is temporary, and I suspect it is, because Braunwyn’s entire persona is bullshit—she’s like American Psycho in that I’m not sure there really is a Braunwyn Windham-Burke, and Gina slices through bullshit like it’s her job (and it is her job, and she’s doing it well this season). Come to think of it, Braunwyn is straight out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel: That’s one creepy bitch.

No worries, I get that it’s not snark. I remember thinking you had a lot of good posts last season, which, BTW, feels to me like it ended a week ago. I don’t think I was ready for this to come back so soon. It’s too much of a bad thing. I watch because of a bit or morbid fascination. Last season I said I want to stop watching, but I am afraid that as soon as I stop watching, she’s going to lose all the weight, and someone replied that they’re pretty sure I’m safe 🤗. I just have it on in the background because, like I posted upthread, it’s like a car wreck. I wasn’t trying to convey that I felt bad for Whitney. I don’t feel bad for Whitney at all; I stated that I think she’s complicit in this, and that she’s a scumbag. The main thrust of my point is that Chase is getting a pass for faking it. If Whitney were getting a pass, I’d write a scathing post about her, but others have already covered that for me in depth. This is where we may disagree—are we talking literally that nothing is real? Because I am convinced that there is a real woman named Whitney Way Thore, with parents named Babs and Glen, a brother named Hunter, etc. I think her friends, such as Todd, started off as her friends, as in, Todd was her Eternal Dance Partner back in the day, and I believe she knew Heather, Buddy, Ashley, Tal from the places she stated she knew them, and sometime after season three it started to spin into heavily fictionalized reality, but I do believe it is grounded in reality. I believe she fell on the skis, that she cheated against the Trophy Wives, and that she hobbled through the 8k in Hawaii. So I think it’s safe to say some things are true and some things are false. I think that Ryan is alright, because I believe he did some type of business with Whitney. The rest of the gang, I believe, are her frenemies, even if they’re not as close as they claim, but I am willing to endure some fiction mixed in with the reality. I watch a lot of reality TV, and I know I’m being lied to a lot. But I believe they all went up to the mountains. I don’t believe that was a green screen or anything. Where I draw the line—and this is my personal preference and I’ve stated as much—is at faking an engagement. That’s just a bridge too far. And to the extent that TLC was complicit—probably heavily—and anyone else was complicit in getting us to believe there was going to be a marriage, I think those people are jerks. I mean, I used the term ‘scumbag,’ but I don’t literally mean that I think the person is a bag of scum. The words “idiot” “moron” and “dolt” can all substitute for “scumbag,” and, of course, that includes Whitney. It was my personal opinion at the end of last season that these two were going to get married, even if it was going to be a sham, I thought that they needed subject matter for next season, and that was going to be a legal wedding, and if I recall, I wasn’t alone in thinking that. Then maybe two seasons from now would be the divorce. I agree with your assessment. This just makes everyone look foolish though. I have an axe to grind with Chase for going on reality TV and then saying what the producers told him to say. Conversely, I love Todd, because he is constantly speaking the truth. Hahaha, ok, yes, good point. Funny you should mention This Is Us, because I was feeling like, if I wanted to watch a 400-lb woman acting instead of a 400-lb woman’s reality at 9 pm on a Tuesday night, I would turn to the show that was at least up for all kinds of Emmys. Yes, that is true. I mean, technically, when Whitney was on her—barf—child adoption tour—the adoption expert told her that she could hire a woman from the nation of Georgia to be a surrogate for her, and it would all be above-board and legal, and Whitney chose to ignore this and feel sorry for herself that she was “too fat and crazy” to adopt, so instead of doing something about it, she just complained. As an aside, this bitch really knows how to turn the Serenity Prayer on its head and try to change the things she can’t and accept the things that can be changed (such as losing weight, hello)! But I wasn’t getting into motives or reasons as to why Whitney never brought children into her bulllshit—hers or anyone else’s—I was just stating that this was one transgression she has not (yet) committed. I wasn’t trying to be persuasive in my post. I was really just venting. I’ve done it before and I’m sure I’ll do it again! 😃 Like I stated, I feel like other posters have done an amazing job at taking Whitney and the show and the network to task, so I thought it would be somewhat redundant if I read every single person and entity responsible for this garbage the riot act. But that’s taking Whitney’s value system and applying it as an objective perspective. I’ll say it for the cheap seats—I think Whitney and Chase were both in on attempting to bamboozle the audience—so whether Whitney thinks Chase is a scumbag is immaterial to me, aside from the idea that I am even more suspicious of the guy if he’s still on good terms with Whit. I know this is a long post, but I just wanted to use an analogy as to how I view the show (and maybe I’m wrong)—but Real Housewives of New Jersey is another reality show about mostly Italian-American families who fight and make up repeatedly. One of the cousins they used to feature—Rosie—is a lesbian, she’s had several lesbian dates on the show, and about five years ago there was a lesbian who came on the show as Rosie’s date, and it later came out at the reunion and social media that this woman was livid about how she was portrayed in the episode, and she and Rosie were never an item, the woman had a girlfriend, etc. What I extracted from this was that it was gross and shitty of production and Rosie and whomever else to use this woman and fake storylines for the audience, if the allegations were true. It didn’t stop me from watching the show, it doesn’t stop me from believing that these people are related, and that some of their fights and make-ups are real. I think, on the continuum, MBBFL is probably one standard deviation less realistic than RHNJ, but I am pretty sure at least some of it is real, much of it is fake, and perhaps there is a lot that is nudged from production. I don’t think it is beyond credulity that Whitney and Chase had sex. Some people have sex with people they detest. Some people are turned on by people who simultaneously gross them out. Sex can be counterintuitive that way. Some people have no emotional attachment, but they will put Part A into Part B just to literally screw. Some people make animals blush and it’s not out of the realm of possibility—to me—that they may have done the deed at some point or another. When I see bullshit, I call it out. I get that it may not speak to others as much as it speaks to me. I will admit that I have always had an aversion to Chase the way I don’t with Ryan. Without disclosing my position, I asked my husband if he thinks that Chase is a scumbag, he thought about it for a second and he said “yeah, probably.” He said that the guy should be able to answer a straight question about whether he owns this bar—something about which Chase has been less than candid—and also because Chase doesn’t pass the “eye-test.” (Apparently the “eye-test” is what a lot of the old school voters used to determine whether a guy should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame—they see a guy play, and they’re convinced he’s in, regardless of the statistics). So my husband and I came to the same conclusion about Chase for completely different reasons. That’s what make a horse race, I guess. I concur with this as well. If something comes out later to make me change my mind, I’ll come back here with my tail between my legs and admit it. Thank you for letting me vent. I think I’m ready to move on from this topic finally. None of these people really affect my life (thank God!)

I’ve looked at this from every angle, and I don’t see how Chase is not a scumbag. Whitney and her barnacles may be scumbags too, but two (or several) things can be true at once. What kind of sick puppy goes on national reality television, pretends to fall in love with a woman, tell her he thinks she weighs 250 lbs (which is the equivalent of telling a 180 lb woman that she looks like she’s 110 lbs), pretends to be jealous of male friends, travels to France with said woman, puts a ring on her damned finger, laments after the fact that he should have asked her dad’s permission and the whole thing is untrue? Forget Whitney—I’ll assume for the sake of argument that she was in on this—what about the viewers? TLC bills this as a reality TV show. I think about a million people tune in each week. At least this viewer tunes in expecting to see some version of reality, warped as it may be. And Chase thinks he can just take a million people for a ride, and it’s all hunky dory? Why is that ok? What type of legacy does this leave for his spawn—what is he going to tell them—“that really nice swing set out back? We have that because daddy pretended to be into a fat chick on TV for a few years. Yeah, I was acting. I actually loved your mom. Oh no, the public didn’t know I was acting <beard scratch>. It was complicated. We could have afforded nice things anyway, given I was gainfully employed at the time, but this was an easy pay day. I’ll teach you a little more about that as you get older.” What a model citizen. I would not claim him as a family member. I would have no idea how to explain to people how or why my brother/son/husband/dad was such an asshole. I guess Chase’s mom was super smart not to deign to appear on this show. This reminds me of last season when Heather was apparently spreading the message on social media that the show wasn’t really real, and they were mostly acting. That’s having your cake and eating it too, and it doesn’t jive with me. To me, if they are even vaguely honest people, they all have three options: They can assume all responsibility for their characters on reality TV, get off TV, or do what self-respecting actors do and go down to casting calls like every other wannnabe talent, and cut your teeth with a shit-ton of rejection. Maybe Chase will get lucky and they’ll reboot Dawson’s Creek, shoot it in Wilmington again, and he can get cast as some creepy uncle with jacked up teeth, a nose only Pinocchio could love, and a beard that knows no bounds. Or maybe they’ll shoot I Know What You Did Last Summer III there and he can play the murderer! But it’s total loser bullshit to take the easy way out, pocket a check, and expect people to look you in the eye and respect you as a person. This behavior makes ambulance chasing attorneys who advertise on TV that they can get you a settlement if you were molested by a clergy person look like choir boys, because at least they are telling the truth. I’m not sure when it became ok to lie on such a grand scale. If Chase wants to do this, cool, I’m not sure he’s breaking any laws, I will just never for the life of me understand the celebration of being dishonest for no good reason. Say what you will about Buddy—and there is much to be said—but when he did that stand-up comedy, it was (likely) real, and he took his licks for being a total underperformer like a real human person. Wow, Chase, you managed to make Buddy look like a man amongst men. Great job. I hope he’s proud of himself. I hope he can sleep at night. I hope he’s rehearsed what he’s going to tell his poor kids about values. If I lived in Wilmington, I would make sure he was at least six degrees away from my social circle, and I wouldn’t hire his services if my life depended on it. Why would I ever think he wasn’t skimming off the top or finding some other way to rip me off, because that is his character? Liars also tend to cheat and steal. It’s all on a continuum. I don’t know if this is a spoiler, because it hasn’t been properly announced on the show yet, and it’s common knowledge, but I’ll put it in spoiler tags just in case: I’m done with him. I kind of want to see the fallout kind of the way it’s hard to look away from a car wreck, but once that happens, I may very well be done. There is something so sordid about this show now that things have gone from “oh my God, look, a 365 lbs woman is riding a horse!” to the bottom of the barrel slime into which this has descended. I shouldn’t feel like I need a shower after climbing on my couch with my popcorn to watch a 300-lb bimbo make an ass of herself day in and day out. Once real people really start to get taken for a ride—what is that phrase our parents said—I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

Why weren’t there cameras when almost every single member of the cast was getting extremely drunk at Austen’s house, and we had to hear a recap (a long recap) instead? John—I refuse to call him ‘Pringle’—is such a creep to have made a thing about wanting to get with Madison. She’s Austen’s girlfriend, what else is there to understand??? If John wants to snag Madison away from Austen—fine, whatever, all’s fair in love and war—but how dare he hang out with Austen and pretend to be his friend at all? And then John tells Austen like twice that he’s conflicted between liking Austen and wanting to steal his girlfriend? That’s for a therapist, not the boyfriend of the girl you want to fuck. What is John’s actual game plan? That Austen is going to yield to John because he asked nicely, on the topic of dating Madison?? I bet John pretends he’s never watched the show before and doesn’t remember last season when Austen was talking to strangers in Nashville about how much he wanted to get back with Madison. Now he’s got her, and John would have to pry Madison from Austen’s cold, dead hands if the matter was up to Austen. But John fashions himself “dangerous” <insert eye roll emoji here> Dangerously stupid, for not knowing how to get on the internet to find a store where he can buy a suit, and then when he gets to said store and sees the price tag of $1,400, he asks if that’s how much the suit costs. What else could it be? The suggested donation, as if this is some museum in New York City? Patricia and her guys’ dinner—where does she get off thinking that the men want to take the night off from their girlfriends and random hot girls to hang out with...her? The ego on some people and willful blindness is staggering. They film guys’ night with Patricia because it’s expected once a season; not because they seek her advice and counsel from the 1860s. Shep’s girlfriend reminds him of his mom?? TMI. Why isn’t Landon back on the show so that her thirsty ass can get together with John and the two of them can find their way back to California and off the show? I saw something I’ve never seen before on this show—Leva wore the same stupid pink outfit that she wore a few episodes ago. I can honestly say that’s a first (for some reason, I get the impression that Kathryn has a closet full of black pleather pants, because she strikes me as someone so wasteful that she might just throw out each outfit after wearing it once). It took me a second to realize that Whitney is so serious about coronavirus precautions because he is part of the vulnerable population. He can wear all the skinny jeans he wants, and play in a band called Renob until the cows come home, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s in his fifties. Madison’s pretty—that’s undeniable—but she’s not a model. Methinks John wants to be with her to solidify his place on the show. Even though she’s a little bit of a butterface, Danni is probably on the same level of attractiveness as Madison because Danni has a great body—they’re probably both an 8 out of ten, depending on who you ask—but John isn’t going for Danni because she’s always been a B character, and Madison’s star is on the rise. She is smart to reject him, whether it lasts or not. Patricia meddling in the Austen-Madison-John love triangle reminds me so much of Arrested Development and Lucille I trying to introduce Carl Weathers to Lucille II, in order to break her up with Buster. But at least Lucille had a vested interest in that Buster was her son, and it was a dark parody. What’s Patricia’s excuse? I like Madison ok, mostly because I think she brings drama to a show that sorely needs it, but I can’t stand when she puts on her “Gone With The Wind” shrinking violet, little-lady-who-needs-rescuing voice, and I don’t think she’s smoking hot enough in the looks department for groups of men to swoon over her. The voice bothers me because it is insufferably contrived. Madison is so cunning, so street-smart, so on the come-up that she would give early seasons Kathryn a run for her money. The sweet little baby girl voice is fucking fake, and it’s sad for Austen that he falls for it time and time again. Her real voice is probably huskier than Kathryn’s—she probably sounds like Kathleen Turner when she’s not being fake—but she’s running game on him, and it’s so damn obvious to anyone who is not in love with her. I think the bloom is off the rose for me with Madison. I think Madison is out for Madison, and she would swim in a pool of dead bodies if she thought it would advance her cause. I think Madison loves her son and herself (not necessarily in that order) and everyone else is disposable. It was the little girl voice that flipped the switch for me. She’s kind of a dirty bitch, and she does look like Jessica Simpson—there, I said it! Also, I’m not sure how long I can hang if the duration of this season is going to be about who is quarantining where and with whom. I don’t need to see that shit again less than a year later. I’m still living it, and while it is relaxing to stay home, it’s boring as hell and certainly not good entertainment.

No, you’re not the only one. I find drag queen pedestrian and played out in 2020. It’s more this suburban drag queen culture that I object to. If I am walking down the street in NYC and I see a drag queen, or a bunch of drag queens, great, more power to them. Though I can’t sympathize with it, I can understand the impulse to be a man and like the thrill of wearing satin and lace and ladies clothes and makeup. I assume men have been doing this pretty much since the invention of clothing. I also used to think being subversive was part of the appeal. What I don’t like is how a man dressing like a woman has slowly become a virtue, and something to be celebrated in and of itself. How come every time a straight woman is around a drag queen, or a bunch of drag queens, they have to practically fall to their knees to tell him how good he looks (and I feel that very few of them ever look good), and everyone feels they need to say “betch” and “girl” a ton? Suddenly now there are all these drag queen parties, and I just don’t think the motivations behind them are pure. I think a lot of straight women deify drag queens and want to have them around so that they don’t have to be around other women that threaten them. I think their presence can break the tension of a social situation, but it feels like that’s taking a human desire to be countercultural, and using it to reinforce the status quo, which is kind of the opposite of the reason that people dressed in drag in the first place. They did this on RHNJ last year, and this show last year too where the women were at odds in Key West, so it was like, “well, no worries, because we’re going to drag queen bingo and we’ll all have fun because men dressing as women make us all feel normal and allow us to bond about that and we can tell them they’re hot and sexy, but we know we look better than them, and we won’t get in trouble with our husbands!!! Win-win-win.” And I’m just like, leave them alone, who cares? If there is social tension, don’t break it with a drag queen; actually work it out, which is the reason I watch the show: conflict. I feel like the drag queen thing in 2019 and 2020 is like the 2012 equivalent of Tamra having “[her] gay” and Jill Zarin having Brad, her gay husband, like it’s a trend for bored middle and upper class women to exploit. I’m sure people like Braunwyn think they’re empowering, and I think they’re the exact opposite.

I’m with Heather in that the hospital discussion is “absurd.” Why were they still talking about it? Mary cops to having said it, and she’s not sorry. If that’s not acceptable, then Jen should ask her to leave Meredith’s party, even though Meredith supposedly put her on the invitation list. The “apology” wasn’t sincere, so what was the point of extracting it? And Jen, is that actually your house? She really needs to stop trying to make “Shah” and “Jen Shah” happen. Bitch, you will never be a household name, and your husband is not Nick Saban. He’s not even the head coach. If last episode was brought to use by House of Shah, this episode brought to you by Vida Tequila. I’m not sure with whom to side in the Lisa vs Whitney tequila debate. What I thought was odd was that there was very, very little—suspiciously little—camera time devoted to Whitney’s vow renewal last episode. I think it may have been because a lot of people didn’t want to be filmed—there was a really bizarre scene of one of Whitney’s cousins apologizing to her on the stairs, and all you could see was them from the knees down, sort of like the nanny from Muppet Babies. But my point is that, without footage, and without knowing Whitney or Lisa, I have no idea who to believe. What I do believe is that Whitney dropped the news about the badly behaved bartenders passive-aggressively and I would have had more respect for her if she had pulled Lisa aside and said, “as thankful as I am that you donated liquor to my party, the bartenders exhibited bad behavior.” It is also crystal clear that Lisa said she was over it when she wasn’t over it, which is also passive-aggressive. Last week, people compared Whitney to Stephanie from Real Housewives of Dallas. She is like Stephanie with Brandy’s red headed daughter though lol. Call me crazy, but I think swinging and polygamy are two completely different things. And if you’re neither...who gives a shit if Lisa Barlow says you are one or both? I thought Whitney was trying to gives off the “I charmingly give no fucks” vibe. How does feeling “threatened” by fictitious gossip fit with that image? If someone threatened to tell the world I was a swinger, I’d be like, “go ahead!” I’d take it as a compliment if everyone believed them—check me out! I am not a big fan of sweet blonde Whitney with the whispery voice who seems to want to call so much attention to how she is bucking the system. Her tag line should be the same tag line from Sammi from Jersey Shore: “I’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet.” But that was so ten years ago. I don’t believe Whitney that she was the only one who stood by her dad when he was addicted to drugs. Many people may have deserted him, but I get the feeling he had other support, just by virtue of the size of his family. Way to leave the man no pride whatsoever by saying you’re his sole source of support, Whit. Whitney the Martyr might make for a long season. Her perma smile creeps me out too. The homes on this show aren’t that impressive to me. I thought Salt Lake City was going to give us amazing architecture for some reason. Instead, it appears we’re getting garden variety 4,000 square foot McMansions. Holy cow, Whitney has a cross to bear with the Mormon Church. It’s at the point where I wish she would just take it up with a therapist and get off reality TV...especially on a show that is about life in Salt Lake City. Isn’t that like raging against Islam from Riyadh? As Judge Judy would say, “a-move!” Whitney is committing the cardinal sin in entertainment of telling, not showing. I completely, 100% hear her loud and clear than Whitney fashions herself a bad ass. Now get off the faux stripper pole that every single suburban mom has in her basement, and show us that you’re a badass. “I can’t get hurt before Sundance.” Has a more pretentious sentence ever been uttered? Lisa kind of won me over again after that for saying “I don’t care enough to judge you.” This show needs more attitude, less hysterics. So Meredith and her husband are separated...so why did she and Number One Annoying Son of Reality TV seem so surprised that he wasn’t coming to her birthday party last episode? Aren’t separated people supposed to be...separate? And husband doesn’t have a girlfriend?!? <Cough bullshit cough>. Unless he doesn’t count his hookers as girlfriends. Meredith is from Chicago, or so she said last episode. What gives with the New York accent? I feel like a lot of these women are hiding a lot of shit, like more so than other franchises. Jen’s employees have to cheer her on while she skis indoors around stilettos?!? Shades of Bethenny Frankel!!! Heather is so full of shit when she says you can’t graduate from BYU if you flash someone. Does she mean you can’t graduate if the administration catches you flashing? Because that’s a completely different animal than getting expelled for flashing your tits in a vacuum. I’m quite sure that there are girls at BYU right now who are flashing their tits in private. Last episode, Lisa said she lived off campus all four years. So is Heather saying that if she flashed her tits off campus and the administration didn’t find out, she would get kicked out of the school? By what, osmosis? How is this woman a college graduate and runner of a successful business? The scenario she laid out reminds me of a Lifetime movie where a landlord installed hidden cameras in an apartment so he could spy on an attractive tenant. But who would be the attractive woman in this equation? A thumbs up is a “fuck you”? That’s the dumbest thing I heard since “smells like hospital.”

Kelly with Rick and the sex is like the lady who doth protest too much—the more she points at her privates and says what Rick is doing down there, the less I believe there are major fireworks going on. Is Gina bigger than Emily at this point? That’s what it looked like when they were walking down the hill to train. Regardless, I find the way Gina talks about her fat so much more than the way Emily talks about her fat. Gina, unlike Emily, doesn’t hide behind “not being a size two” (as if saying that makes us think she may be a four). Gina talks about her rolls and eating that cookie and it’s refreshing. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gina lost all of her weight and if Emily stayed at her current elevated weight forever (Emily used to be thin, unless it was just creative editing, which she used a lot on IG, when they flash back to pictures of her in her former life as a party planner, which...what ever happened to that?) I can’t explain why it bothers me so much, but I can’t stand it when they ride bicycles on this franchise. They started doing it last year, when Kelly and Braunwyn bicycled to the bicycle store to buy Dr Reagan a $1,200 bicycle, and it just feels contrived to me. It feels like a virtue signal toward “being green” more than anything else. It also doesn’t feel organic to the franchise. I would find it more refreshing if they would take a stretch Hummer to their destination, which is what would have happened seasons 1-5. They have strayed so far from what goes on “behind the gates.” Sigh. Does anyone actually give one shit about this vow renewal? I mean, when Vicki and Donn and then Shannon and David renewed their vows, they all did it as part of one episode, and my guess as to ‘why’ is because this topic is fucking boring and stale. I guess it beats a sixth consecutive episode about whether someone said the word “sad” off camera. Did I hear Gina right? What she got out of the AA meeting was that she can’t be mad at Braunwyn, because Braunwyn was drunk when she exhibited shitty behavior? I don’t quite remember someone tying Braunwyn down and forcing her to drink last season. I’m pretty sure all of her behavior was of her own volition. Braunwyn actually looks sick and crazy to me. I mean, sick with an actual disease that is causing heart palpitations, and crazy as in certifiable. She looks like she needs to be checked into a hospital. When they show pictures of her from the past, I am just like, gurl, you’re 42? Life has not been kind... I’m not interested in watching them quarantine and buy toilet paper for coronavirus. I find that shit so boring. If there was a way for the coronavirus not to have happened on reality TV, I would be so much happier. I’d actually be so much happier if they conducted significantly less business on this show. It was one thing for Vicki to always be dressed in some 1990s business suit and hollering about how she has to go to work, because that was her character. Kelly being in the water business, and Shannon being in the lemon business just doesn’t interest me. I’d rather just watch a half hour show and have them cut out the business part. Score with Shane and the snarkasm: “I think every time you have a threesome, you have to renew your vows.” If that were true, the venue could stay open just on Braunwyn and Sean’s accounts. So...the hotel employee, Braunwyn and Sean think that there is a place called “the Silicone Valley”? A bunch of MENSA members, all around. I have been hesitant to like Elizabeth, but I actually laughed out loud when she accidentally sent her estranged husband a heart emoji the day after an eight hour deposition. I lol’ed again when Shane needed his wife to open jars for him, ha! I lol’ed again when Emily said Sean’s statement necklaces were from Survivor, and Sean was not getting voted off the island! I feel like this franchise has potential for good senses of humor—between Emily not taking things too seriously, Gina’s calling it like she sees it, Kelly’s bizarre antics, and Shannon’s wry jokes—but that one humorless asshole with the giant chompers just blows the equation. I’m thinking I would rather have Tamra back than Braunwyn. I’d rather have freaking Gretchen soaking up all the attention. It happens once in a blue moon, but I agree with Kelly on her metaphor that not serving tequila at your party because you’re an alcoholic is like being diabetic and not serving cake. I recently re-watched an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where Kim had a graduation party for her daughter with no alcohol. Buzz kill, much? Once again, no one is tying Braunwyn down and pouring alcohol down her throat. I also think this “tequila is my trigger” thing is something made up by Braunwyn to seem like more of a special snowflake. I am not going back to rewatch, but I would bet money on the idea that she got in plenty of trouble with vodka last season. If she doesn’t want alcohol at her event, have the balls enough to put it on the invitation, and then see who actually bothers to show up. All this drama around tequila specifically seems manufactured. If Gina promised Braunwyn she wouldn’t drink, that’s between the two of them; that onus is not on anyone else. I hate that passive-aggressive bullshit of hushed voices and “is Elizabeth drinking?” It’s an event in the western world; people are drinking! Why can’t the sober people just mind their own business like Shane? I can barely remember the last time I had a drink, it’s been so long, and I don’t feel the need to constantly talk about it...and it’s not like I don’t want to get buzzed up, but some of my behavior has been like Braunwyn’s in the past, so I cut back to the point of almost teetotaling. So what? I couldn’t imagine that being interesting enough to be the topic of conversation, much less a storyline. Braunwyn’s “wedding” dress was hideous, but exactly like her personality and the rest of her vow renewal—attention-seeking to the nth degree. I laughed when the drag queen said that everyone needs to catch up on cocktails. I don’t know whether to hate or pity or hate Braunwyn’s son (Jacob?)—hate because he is awful and tone-deaf and pity because of who his parents (and grandparents) are. Oh good, it looks like the next major arc for the season is water rights! Someone call Jack Nicholson, because it looks like a Chinatown situation is going down. Only without the murder, espionage, intrigue, witty repartee, and incest. Le snooze.

Because it’s relevant, I’ll just state from the outset that I’m a lawyer too (not criminal defense), but I had to learn all of the above in order to pass Evidence and two states’ bars, and what I would underscore about what I took from this post is twofold: As you stated, it really does depend on the jurisdiction whether testimony of “prior bad acts” or character for ____ will be admitted. So I think it’s premature to say that this is the situation with regard to Ashley in the absence of knowledge of that jurisdiction’s rules of evidence. I would think the most rational order of operations would be to learn the rules of evidence of the jurisdiction (Maryland, Virginia, DC, I don’t know where the countersuit is being brought) and then apply them to Monique’s counter suit prior to to rendering a determination that what Ashley is doing is “fair game.” If this type of evidence is not admissible, the statement is not “fair game” the way it would be if it were admissible. It would be “fair game” only as far as Ashley would have a right to make it (and I don’t think anyone is arguing whether Ashley has a right to make the statement; just that she’s doing it in a shitty way and/or it’s a shitty thing to do). If Ashely was truly a neutral party and a friend to Candiace and Monique, as she is trying to spin it, then why doesn’t she just go ahead and have the court subpoena her testimony, as was suggested would happen if Ashley didn’t volunteer the info? This reminds me of the police procedural shows/movies where the cops show up at the home of the “perp” and tell him they can either do this the easy way and let them search his home, or they can do it the hard way and get a warrant. As an attorney, as someone who is aware of the Fourth Amendment protections, I am always screaming at my TV, “the hard way! Do it the hard way!” (And no one ever listens to me, by golly). What Ashley should have done, instead of approaching Robyn and Gizelle and telling them she was going to write a letter “in support” of Monique’s character, when she was really going to go and assassinate Candiace’s character, would be to put on her big girl britches, admit same, and then be willing to hear any blowback that came her way. Because if Ashley is right, then she’s right. Why should this truth cannon of a woman who has run around for five seasons dropping truth bombs on people do anything other than tell the truth of exactly what kind of statement she was voluntarily writing for Monique? And I wouldn’t buy the argument that Ashley was confused, because Ashely became very, very un-confused as soon as Robyn and Gizelle started asking questions. So, in a nutshell, my argument is that if the jurisdiction admits testimony about prior bad acts and character, Ashley could still have remained the neutral party by refusing to provide a statement/affidavit regarding same, unless the court compelled her to. It’s also interesting to me that the rest of the cast (save Wendy) was there at the butter knife throwing event, and no one has said word one about the prosecution/plaintiff (not even sure if Monique’s ‘countersuit’ is criminal or civil, as I have never heard of a criminal countersuit, but maybe it’s under my radar) contacting them for a statement, so...this is clearly voluntary to me, not something that has been impressed upon Ashley as a victim of circumstances. And I just don’t think there is a legal argument that circumvents the truth of this quoted below, which is at the heart of the displeasure in the social and human, not legal, case against Ashely:

It’s amusing and befuddling to me that Ashley is treating Candiace’s desire to become a mother as a personal affront. I can’t believe how good Robyn looked in her micro-mini dress at dinner. It’s so titillating to scare Wendy with a rubber spider that they devote one third of the episode and break the fourth wall for her reaction? Fascinating. Ashley was deliberately misleading to the point of lying when she told Gizelle and Robyn that she was writing a statement in support of Monique’s character, when it was actually a smear against Candiace. I thought Ashley was all hashtag truth.

Aside from the witness statement and the name “Wendy,” this episode description could be for any episode of any season of this show. Producers are really dropping the ball here. It’s vacation—can’t we get something decent, like a Katie disappearance? At this point, I’d settle for a Katie (or Kyndall!) appearance. Wake me up when something interesting happens, Bravo.