LibertarianSlut

Ramona looks fab. Florida really suits her. I want to be Barbie when I’m 64! Leah and too much ass = desperate. Sonja looks gross to me, like she did during the season, nothing like her later in the season talking heads when she looked really good. Everyone else looked exactly like they always do, maybe a bit more sparkly. Tinsley’s skirt was cool. Avery looked pretty in that picture and video that they showed. She always used to look like she had such hard edges for her, and something about having a little bit of age on her suits her looks. This is the first time I would describe her as pretty. Is Leah ever not disgusted or outraged or offended? She’s obsessed with Ramona. Dorinda and Leah are not concerned about public health. They have a problem with Ramona. I’m actually a little disturbed about how much they want to take away her liberty. It’s not normal for people to be in isolation for half a year. I don’t think it’s safe either. Ramona should rock on with her bad self, and whoever wants to quarantine should quarantine. It’s so creepy to me that Leah and Dorinda act like they were dispatched directly from the CDC. No one knows enough about this virus to tell people they have to stay home, not even the experts. <goosechills> regarding their control issues.

She is such a bore and a windbag. I find Dorit at her least likable when she’s not on the defense. When she’s on the defense, she has her wits about her. I always loved when Rinna asked Dorit in season seven if she trusts her husband, and Dorit was succinct and unflappable when she replied “implicitly.” That was supposed to be some mic drop moment, because when Kim asked Lisa if she wanted to talk about her husband, she smashed a glass and went for Kim’s neck, and Dorit went in a completely different direction. I like that Dorit and PK can be stoic in the face of flames. When Dorit doesn’t have an antagonist though? She is insufferable IMO.

It’s so odd to me that Andy asks Denise one softball question about not knowing Brandi and how that reconciles with the year’s worth of text messages and Denise—who had given herself a huge pat on the back for sitting there and taking it—couldn’t answer the question without Dorit having to help her find her words. I don’t know or care whether she drank or smoked something prior to filming this reunion—she is just very ill-equipped to be here and her presence makes me uncomfortable. Why should it be so hard, from the comfort of your own home—not even a set—to say, “we texted in a friendly manner, but we weren’t friends”? Why did it take a Camp David Accords to get that out? I think Andy was full of shit by saying that after Brandi said what she said, there is no reason to have her on the show; she’s said enough. That is never how this has worked in the past—if he’s afraid of a lawsuit, he should be honest and say it. If he’s letting Denise and Aaron pull his strings, admit it. If Andy thinks Brandi’s story will shatter under pressure—as it did with the text messages—he should be transparent and admit that Brandi is perhaps not the most credible source. He doesn’t want to say that, because it doesn’t go along with his anti-Denise narrative, and I don’t respect that. Denise looks fucking crazy watching the package of herself saying that she’s said worse things about Teddi, and then wondering who told Teddi that Denise said that in the present. Holy shit. I can’t wait for this to be over. It’s painful from every angle. Not a single one of them comes off well. In fact, I find almost nothing to praise about anyone on this show, including the full-time cast, including the host, including Sutton, including Brandi. Just Ugh! all around. See y’all next week of course.

I think this show is very much a job for Dorit. She puts her mind into it, but not her heart—kind of the opposite of Denise, actually. I do not think Dorit really cares for one second why Kyle thinks Dorit and Erika aren’t close friends. They aren’t close friends. They’re show friends. Dorit is just trying to keep the show going to get that gwola. That’s it, and it’s so obvious. The idea that Denise is “one of the sexiest women alive” continues to flummox me. I feel like the viewer with that question didn’t get the tense right. Perhaps Denise was—past tense—one of the sexiest women alive in 2002, when she did that movie with John Leguizamo as the girlfriend of a drug dealer. She looks like a completely different person now, as if she is her own mom. I don’t get it. It’s like saying Marlon Brando is the sexiest man alive. When? In the sixties? Or the 2000s? Two very different times and looks. I know this is damning with faint praise, and I don’t even want to give her any praise, but Lisa let the thing that Garcelle said about her daughter/possible eating disorder go immediately. I always say that if these ladies would just let half the shit go, these franchises would run so much more smoothly. I’m just completely disinterested in Lisa’s life outside of stirring shit for the show though. I don’t care about her kids or her husband. She’s never had a compelling storyline. I don’t ever feel the need to know more about Lisa Rinna. That doesn’t bode well for the second longest running player on this show, nor does it bode well for the show by extension. Pregnant Teddi—they are treating her as if she is the first woman to ever be pregnant. At one point, she was.........breathing heavily. Tell me more! I find it so self-centered that Andy’s baby shower (which seemed more like a drunken bawdy party than a shower) that happened about two years ago keeps coming up on all of these reunions. It’s 100% irrelevant to this show. I despise him. There is not enough content for a two-part reunion. That is why they keep splicing in little candid moments before officially coming back from commercial and talking about Teddi’s kid’s fingertip, which had nothing to do with the show. There’s just nothing left to say. This is pathetic.

Monique on Wendy: “We already have a Candiace.” Truer words. Chris would rather get in women’s business than talk about the bird. Ha ha ha. He still seems like a jerk though. Monique may actually take her bake-offs more seriously than Gizelle. A few seasons ago, Gizelle accused Karen of cheating at the Jack and Jill bake-off when they first met. Candiace’s super-serious analysis of the pancakes was funny. I was glad Monique won, just because Gizelle got knocked down a peg. Maybe she’s the baddest one walking and talking, but not the baddest one cooking apparently. Wendy was wrong in taking out her anguish about the baby on Ashley, but when she was talking to Gizelle, I understood where the impulse was coming from. It was totally on Wendy to ask to bring her baby if she wanted to bring her baby, but she goofed up, she neglected to ask, and she probably felt foolish when she saw Ashely’s baby and she processed it totally incorrectly. It just reminded me of the way I felt the one time I got to attend a house party with an indoor pool and I didn’t think to bring my bathing suit. I felt very envious of the girls who did have bathing suits, though it didn’t manifest the way Wendy did, to say the least. I’m glad Ashley and Wendy apologized to each other though. Women on these franchises have such a hard time apologizing that it often takes them a season or more to hash out an issue. This is so much more interesting. Ashley is messy, but she speaks beautifully. I think she is one of the smartest Housewives ever cast and I have always enjoyed watching her spar and plan. Watching these women try to call their significant others reminded me how fucked the majority of the relationships are on this franchise right now. Michael, Jamal, Ray, yikes. I loved this episode and this vacation. It was so unpretentious and unselfconscious. It reminded me of the time they went to southern Pennsylvania a few seasons back. I think that was when Ashley wore Karen’s wig. This time they had the Lady of the Lake pageant. I find that so much more entertaining than “vacation porn,” like the South of France or the Caymans. I can watch that on The Travel Channel. This lets me get to know them, and they’re so likable in this setting. “Anybody talk about Gizelle’s stovepipe legs?” Karen is winning this season! Gizelle’s shady pageant questions were also great. I wish they’d ask that shit at real pageants. I loved how into it Candiace and Ashley were. I thought they were both quite talented. Damn production, you’ll blur Michael’s name, but not his picture. I can’t say I don’t appreciate that. What I’m most surprised about regarding this Michael situation is not that he had a boyfriend, but that he remembered to tell the other bar patrons about his wife. Did Robyn actually try to spin the Juan situation to make it sound like he was a better partner than Chris because he was humbled?!? Ok, Robyn, I’m just going to let that one sit. A humble man would have gone down to the flea market and gotten a $100 ring and gone down to the justice of the peace and remarried Robyn if he loved her. Juan is still smelling himself. Big time. Michael is out there “on these streets”? My only question is whether he ran into Sherman creeping round the park? This episode was epic on so many levels. Other franchises, take copious notes!

Joanie. That was Joanie folks are talking about in earlier seasons. I don’t recall Elyse’s presence, and she might have been on before too, but she was never a major player on the franchise, or even a major side player. Joanie was Ramona’s confidant.

Shit. I actually liked Viva La Diva in its uber produced version. Very seventies cool. I am so angry at myself for enjoying this. That was the most boring season finale since The Real Housewives of Miami season two. The most positive part wound up being the song! I was going to say at least no one was drunken and abusive...can’t win em all. I can’t wait for the reunion!!! Go to church!

Preach. I never got the appeal of a drag queen. I’m not quite sure what’s so titillating about men dressed as women, especially in New York City. What’s the big deal? I remember in season six, Carole confronted Sonja about talking behind her back at a gay bar, and Sonja was completely unruffled about it, did not deny it and said, “when I go to a gay bar, all bets are off.” That was funny. Let’s hear some shit talk. They’re boring me. I liked Sonja kissing that guy so casually on the lips though. That was cute, not bawdy. It reminded me of Lu constantly calling Sonja “Mae West” in season three. Ramona looked great again. Bitch knows how to rock a v-neck and short skirt. So much more flattering on her short torso than anything else. “I don’t have time to open attachments.” Ha ha ha. Ramona is channeling Jill Zarin. Leah looked so classy and classic with her 1940s pin curls. Looks can be deceiving. Once again, a woman on this franchise gets a mic in her hand and makes an ass out of herself. Once again, Ramona is a hypocrite about sex talk. The more things change... I loved Luann’s self-important and flattering speech before singing Viva La Diva, as if this was an important song that needed two introductions.

Dorinda, lol, you “washed away everything that was bothering” you? Calgon, can you please take note and set the bitch free? I’ve always had an irrational sort of contempt for Sonja’s townhouse. The thing is about 40 years out of date and looks like it smells like juices stewed in Sonja. As a potential buyer, I’d pass. Leah, you’re a grown ass adult. No one has to understand and support you. No one has to do anything but die and pay taxes. Where does she get this psychobabble bullshit from? Maybe I’m just in a nit picky mood toward Luann, but I despise this idea of “marry, F, kill” for so many reasons, not least of which is why do they say “F”? Why don’t they just say “fuck”? If you’re gong to be *edgy* enough to ask each other in a public forum who they want to fuck, have the balls enough to say the word. Geez. Luann’s comedy is quite possibly worse than her singing. Sonja has a better stage presence. So does the microphone. I’m so glad Sonja decided to take care of her health, and her talking heads show that she clearly executed her plan. This is the first genuinely positive thing I’ve written about Sonja...ever?

Dorinda has a dead arm now. So this is officially a thing of the past? Damn. Her Christmas sweater is cute. Luke doesn’t want Dorinda to sit too near the window. If anyone knows him from Ladies of London, is it too tacky to ask if this revives memories of Scot? All of Luann’s songs sound the same. The only one I like, ok love, is Chic C’est La Vie. The others, I could take or leave. Vivaa La Divaaah with no auto tune makes me nauseous.

I dunno, maybe Kyle was doing it to be a garden variety bitch. Garcelle was the first one to be bitchy to Kyle, and Kyle was giving back as good as she got. I don’t know the details of what went on between Kyle and Garcelle, but their behavior toward each other was not outside the norm for these reunions. They are playing, or really are, co-stars and cast mates who are frenemies. It happens at every RHBH reunion. I feel sad for any viewer who extrapolates anything racial from one cast member alleging that another cast member failed to deliver payment on an auction item on which she bid. If the implication is that Kyle should sit quiet because of her own race and the race of her cast member, respectively, I don’t know from that world. Let the accusation stand or fail on its merits. I agree that this reunion would have been a lot better without glam. The whole idea of women getting decked out in formal dress, hair, jewelry, nails and makeup to bitch at each other from their living rooms is absurd. Why doesn’t everyone just wear jeans? They’re not even reuniting; they’re video chatting. All the glam is excessively stupid. This show is slowly but surely morphing into the Hotwives.

They all turned out nicely, except Dorit. Her hair ruined the entire look. She’s going too weird with it. That’s been a pattern with her this season. Her fashion was so much more on point last season. She looked kinda old too, when she’s one of the youngest. About five years older than Erika, when it’s the other way around. Kyle was finally wearing something that fit. Sort of. Hallelujah. I liked her hair. And earrings. Denise looked so glassy-eyed and weird, despite having a nice colored dress with lips to match. Her lips looked like they were going to jump off her face, like Braunwyn from RHOC. Just really uncomfortable-looking, though attractive, sort of like a Bratz doll. Erika and Teddi looked the best to me, Erika as number one. I like pink hair on Teddi. That is a hair fashion risk that worked. Dorit is doing it all wrong. Rinna looked way too much like a stick skinny Luann DeLesseps, and it was freaking me out. I knew her lips were big, but tonight they were ginormous and shiny and scary as hell. That was bullshit that Garcelle called out Kyle’s name as least welcoming on WWHL because that was the only name she could remember because she was drunk. I expected her to come with something better than that. I don’t think it’s below the belt for Kyle to say Garcelle never made a payment on her bid. I thought the idea was to ‘mention it all.’ I don’t think Kyle did anything to Garcelle. There’s just no there there. Of course Kyle is going to defend herself. They’re there to hash it out. Sutton looks filled out. She has jacked up teeth, which I never noticed. Lol to her saying she was moving because she was “desperately broke.” I love self-deprecation. But Sutton is only a friend. Why did she get the second package? A friend is never treated like a full-time cast member like this. Even season two, Brandi wasn’t allowed out to join the ladies until like the second installment. Me thinks there is not enough content to fill three parts. That’s why they took like five minutes to recap the season at the beginning and the super duper long packages. There’s very little to talk about without Denise being the center of conversation. I can’t keep looking at Dorit’s hair. She looks like damned Medusa. She’s also kind of a condescending bitch. I’ve been awkwardly Team Teddi most of the season by default, which makes me so uncomfortable, but I still don’t care that Sutton had disdain for Teddi’s pregnancy and her romper, which is exactly what it was, and it was cute. Hashtag who gives a damn. Crickets from Rinna and Erika tonight until it was time to talk about Denise. Like lions waiting to strike. Oh my gosh, Denise’s third story about not having the kids at Kyle’s barbecue—Eloise couldn’t be near a pool without supervision. Perfectly valid reason, but something not mentioned until the reunion. Hasn’t she even heard the phrase “keep it simple stupid”? Just stick with the simple truth or prepare for questions, it’s so obvious. Rinna is right that Denise talks about Aaron’s penis almost every episode, but I would add to that—Denise alludes to Aaron’s penis and/or her clitoris every episode by having a tag line about a happy ending. I have no idea why Erika started in with “motherfucker” and “bullshit” regarding Denise and the threesome talk. I don’t like when Denise freaks out and in the same vein I don’t like when Erika freaks out and starts swearing. That’s like the worst form of communication. Denise staying calm was good for her, although I wasn’t buying her story that she wanted to keep it more about the parents than the kids. That was complete spin after what was aired of Sami’s non-reaction. If it wasn’t about Sami, if it wasn’t about the friends overhearing (during the season, when Lisa asked Denise which one was more important, Denise replied “both” which undermines her argument now and is also a nonsensical answer), then Denise was lying all season long. Lisa did much better than Erika by staying relatively calm. I think Tom called it wrong all those years back: Lisa Rinna is the alligator. Erika’s comment was definitely about Sami and not “teenagers in general.” Get the fuck out of here with that shit, Erika. Erika said that “she” may have already had a threesome; she wasn’t opining on the general status of teenagers. Denise liked a tweet that Lisa should lose her job. If it was an inadvertent like, then say that. Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth by saying repeatedly that you didn’t like it and also saying repeatedly that it was a mistake. It is literally one or the other. I feel like Denise is receiving PR advice from someone who really hates her. Also, invest in some Visine, gurl. Damn, these women have no clue how to argue. Erika was the worst at it, perhaps, but Denise is a breathtakingly close second. Erika got in a good jab about wondering how much the happy ending cost, because it reminded me that this was a real sex act that happened that Denise discussed onscreen. I don’t care about the happy ending per se, but I thought it was an artful way of bringing a season-old topic back to the forefront. Boring as hell first reunion installation. I care about Sutton, but not that much. I don’t like Denise and I think everything about her is contradictory and completely frustrating, much like someone else who exited the series in the recent past, but there would be no show without her. Kyle spent $10k at Dolce & Gabbana! Sutton’s moving! What is the status with the Capri Room at Bucco de Beppo and a possible re-open??? I await with bated breath.

Payless shoes were featured in New York Fashion Week, designed by Laura Poretzky, in 2006. Ironically enough, that was one year before this show began filming these women living and dying over fashion week. Luann and her ghostwriter and their ignorant snobbery can suck it.

I kind of enjoyed Candiace’s impression of Gizelle. There’s also that canon in law that truth is a full defense to defamation, which is what comes to mind when I think about the Gizelle ‘monster’ comment. Same with Karen and Ray having sex. Michael does not want that baby. Nor does he seem to want Ashley around very much. “I just hope Gizelle’s fashion sense don’t rub off on Monique.” Karen FTW this episode. The top abs were a cute look too. WTF with Gizelle’s black dress with white pearls?? Quite possibly the worst outfit I’ve seen in weeks. Dress for the body you have, not the one you want. Gizelle’s pores looked huge on that book cover. Another strike against her makeup line. No comment on the excerpt from the book. Not a huge fan of Monique’s lake house’s interior. It looks 20 years out of date. I’m sure Karen feels comfortable there. Robyn’s hair looked so good! The Ramen Noodles are finally gone. Robyn got off another funny one-liner when she said sometimes she forgot her second kid’s name. This is the Robyn I feel like I could really start to like. I’m not super amused about an episode that seemed about 25% devoted to one bird. If they don’t have enough material to fill a typical 20 episode season, they should scale back to 15 episodes or less. Keep the people wanting more. I noticed a pattern on this show: they save the drama for the very, very end, at like the 50+ minute mark. This makes the franchise seem more content-rich than it is, because they preview and flash back to that scene multiple times. It’s kind of a vapid franchise, despite the edit. I find myself constantly checking the clock to see when it’s going to be over. This episode was better in that the Wendy-Ashley drama, which was the first interesting moment for me, started around 40 minutes in. Then it dropped off again. Like anyone gives a shit about the cell service at the cabin. Really? Candiace may or may not be invited to Gizelle’s sham wedding. I’m on the edge of my seat. The deep conversation exercise was gold. Candiace, your denial that wasn’t quite a denial about getting your nose done—no one was buying it. Who gives a shit? Cosmetic surgery is not something to be embarrassed about IMO. Sometimes not having it is embarrassing... OMG, Karen bringing up Jamal having babies with other women right to Gizelle’s face was perfection I needed for the week. I think Wendy, with all of her degrees, should realize that if she said something “out of stress,” that is pretty much an admission that what was said was inappropriate. So why not just apologize? It costs nothing and it literally takes two seconds. This show previewed Michael’s potential cheating last week for this week, and then they just previewed it again for next week. That’s like last season, when they showed Monique going into labor (which turned out to be fake) for weeks. This is such a weak statement from production about their confidence in their ability to deliver an episode. I also find it borderline unethical. I love “gone with the Wendy.” Twirl on that.

Right. I get the internal logic of what Luann was trying to do—call Dorinda out on her hypocrisy for professing one thing about phone etiquette in Mexico and doing another at her birthday party. What I’m asserting is that—que Countess voice—one should know, time and place, darling, time and place. Calling out someone’s slightly rude and hypocritical behavior at their own birthday party instead of saving it for a conversation the next day makes Luann a hypocrite, because she professes one thing (proper etiquette) and does another, namely, whatever will get her some traction on this loser season she’s having.

Dorinda ranting and raving about how adult and mature it is to invite John to her birthday party can miss me. He’s your ex, so you generally put that person in your past. It’s not my affair if she wants to invite John, but it doesn’t make her better than someone who doesn’t associate with their ex and wants a clean break, and I felt like she was lecturing us on etiquette, which is rich. Can we imagine how much of a cow Dorinda would have if Tinsley was broken up with Scott and had him at a birthday dinner???? I can’t look at Dorinda in that dress and not think “boobs!” Ramona in the leather pants and the deep v neck top may not have been the best look ever, but I think it’s the best she’s looked all season, save maybe for the pink dress at her birthday. And that is less of a compliment toward Ramona than it is a detraction from the way she’s dressed the rest of the season, which sucked. I hate Luann calling Dorinda “D” the way I hate the way Sonja would call Bethenny “B” and calls Ramona “Singer.” Luann was so drunk in that scene where she was taking Dorinda to task for the standard Dorinda set in Mexico. And Luann is also probably trying to make one last stand to be relevant because she has done nothing this season and her pocketbook couldn’t take the hit if she got demoted again. It’s Dorinda’s birthday for fuck’s sake. Who cares if she wants to break her own rules by closing apps at the birthday table? Is that really the hill Luann wants to die on? It beats the shit out of grabbing a man’s hand and telling him “my turn” when he’s out on a date with another woman, which is how she met Tom. John is gross. He is doing way too much with his eyebrows. I used to think he was ok, and then I rewatched the series again, and he was fucking creepy, always sweating and grabbing Dorinda and making her uncomfortable with PDA, not to mention when he came in hot to Dorinda’s bra party and started a fight with Bethenny, and shoving his hand in Ramona’s face at his dry-cleaning party. I’m calling it now—Luann is on the verge of another drunken incident. She went from not drinking to being an apparent problem drinker on camera over the course of a few episodes. I can imagine what she’s like off camera. She was so inappropriate at Dorinda’s party, and Sonja and Dorinda were relatively well-behaved, not to mention Leah! How many times is Luann going to break out the wobbly, deep happy birthday song and think It’s becoming or novel? Dorinda was spot on in her talking head about how grating it was. Luann’s been displeasing the audience with this since Jill’s birthday in season three! What have we, as a collective audience, done to deserve this abuse for ten damn seasons?!? Oh good, Luann is doing cabaret in the previews. That should make for an exciting and unexpected series of events for the finale. 🙄

I’m not a big fan of Leah’s mom. She seems like a know it all who raised two trashy daughters. I wish she would cut her hair too, and the color sucks. My mom would never take the mic at my event like that. Leah’s mom loves the camera a little too much and I’m not sure it’s endearing. As soon as Leah said she is giving her sister fifteen percent of the company, I said “tax write-off” and then as soon as Leah exited the stage, she said her lawyer said it wasn’t binding and I thought, bingo! How do you announce that and not intend to follow through? Phony. I enjoyed her dress at her party a lot though. She looked better than all of the other women. Luann can stop being the interloper anytime now. Elyse isn’t a member of the cast, so no one has to interact with her or discuss her. I’ve been pretty ride or die for Luann in past seasons, and this season she was a real disappointment for me. She’s just a shell of a person who seems like she’s acting. I’m so tired of Luann using the passive voice regarding what she’s “been through.” Luann, you committed assault and battery! You put someone else through something, dumbass. Luann is doing another book? About her dad? She never had shit to say about her dad! Season five, Heather came on the show and asked Luann to tell her about her dad, Luann hemmed and hawed and then gave an interview that this wasn’t proper cocktail conversation. Luann is so cheap and always running a game. She makes Sawnya look demure in comparison. I think Sonja is more fucked up than Luann, but I think she’s smarter and, if sober, would be ten times the conversationalist as Luann. Luann is still that country bumpkin with nine people sharing a bathroom and trying to claw her way out as soon as one scratches the surface. Also, holding a big elegant hand to her chest doesn’t negate the fact that Luann says “you know” about twice a sentence because she has nothing of substance to say. I guess I kept thinking Luann was going to put something cool out of her hat at some point in this season and she didn’t. She was completely unoriginal this season—couldn’t even be bothered with a Sophia Vergara wig—and I think this franchise should move on without her.

It’s interesting that they never show Luann at home. All of their apartments are cute, none are aspirational to me. Ramona’s comes the closest. Luann is such a stirrer that it’s nuts. She tries to bait Ramona into talking about Elyse, so that she can report back to Elyse and cause drama and keep her apple whilst keeping her hands clean. This has been her MO from the beginning, and it’s really not an attractive quality. Luann has really never been her own person and it’s getting worse as she gets older. I think she’s like the hidden lost soul on the show, whereas the four other women are overt lost souls, but some of them (Ramona) may have their shit together more than Luann does. I love high/low fashion, so I wasn’t really feeling sympathy for Dorinda for being dressed up. I thought it was so cool juxtaposed against the hip hop clothes. “Karen from Human Resources”. Lol! Dorinda is so far up Leah’s ass. How many times is she going to mention that their moms are alike? Does she think that makes Dorinda and Leah the same age? Sonja was funny with the “hot guys” because they weren’t staff, so they could get away from her, and she laughed when the guy said she was like a grandmother to him. True story. Wow, Elyse, just wow. Trying to get an apple much? Stupid bitch. What is her name for her alcoholic alter ego? Because that bitch came out tonight and it was gross. She looked so old grabbing Ramona’s arm and trying to create fake drama at an otherwise chill event. Looks like Leah maybe should have given a shit about inviting Elyse if she wanted Ramona to stay at the party, which apparently she did. Dorinda and “stockhouse disease” should stick to what she knows—schadenfreude.

This is not particularly the case. I actually wrote down what Denise said during one of the many times she invoked Sami in the threesome convo at the time of airing and she said: “Of course it’s nothing they haven’t heard, I just didn’t want them to hear it from their mom and mom’s friends. I will be mindful of having them in earshot with all of us, that’s all. Honestly it takes a lot to offend me. I wasn’t going to say anything until Sami said something to me and I was like ‘oh shit.’ You know, it affected her.” She immediately went on to say “I don’t want to get into this anymore. It’s not that big of a deal. We’re done.” I’m not arguing the merits—whether what they said around Sami was ok. What I’m conveying is the fact that Denise deliberately invoked Sami and weaponized her when there is no evidence to support Sami’s apparent distress. On a separate note, if we question everything on the show and say there must be alternative footage somewhere, in the absence of evidence, I’m not sure how we can continue to have a conversation about the show. How do we even know that was Sami and not an actress? Did anyone compare them side by side? Do we have her fingerprints, etc? When it gets to a level of such abstraction and hypotheses and conspiracy theories, any conversation about the show becomes absurd (and the show is absurd, so perhaps this is fitting).

Yes, this franchise is so full of bullshit. It started back in season one when the entire season revolved around a conversation that happened between Kyle and Camille off-camera and whether production would be interested in Camille without Kelsey. Season two—more of the same bullshit. Kim was completely fucked up the whole season and no one said anything other than maybe she was on the wrong medication. A lot of the season centered around whether Taylor was experiencing domestic abuse, and Taylor wouldn’t comment on it either way—she wanted the sympathy, but she didn’t want to leave her husband and it was fucking idiotic. Season three got worse. Adrienne and her cease and desists and Brandi insisting that Adrienne was suing her, which Adrienne got to deny all along, because Adrienne didn’t sue Brandi, she sent her a cease and desist, so Adrienne got off on a technicality, just the way Lisa got off on a technicality at the season two reunion, because Adrienne kept accusing Lisa of “selling” stories to RadarOnline, when Lisa wasn’t selling stories, she was giving them. All of season three, we had to hear about an underground feud between Brandi and Lisa on one side and Adrienne on the other, ostensibly because Adrienne and Paul wanted Brandi to “have a go” at Lisa at the season two reunion and Brandi refused. Anyone keeping track? Me neither. Because this show is bullshit, has been since the beginning. This isn’t even getting into tabloid-gate, and the ever-famous Munchausen's. I think that’s why I’m not so bothered by this season. Like I’ve posted earlier in the season—this franchise has always been the pits to me. The thing I want to say, in addition to how poorly conceived this show has always been, is that we all keep saying that we want to hear about the other ladies and their lawsuits and their husbands’ infidelity and I get that—I have been unabashed that I want to see it too—I want to see it allll. But where I differ from some other viewers is that I think this stuff has been discussed on camera and it just went nowhere. It’s hard to build a narrative around a civil lawsuit. In season three, Taylor was shouting from the rooftops how she was being sued. That’s all she would talk about. Her adversary was taking the wedding ring off of her finger and the Birkins. It doesn’t get much more dramatic than that when it comes to lawsuits, and Taylor still got the boot after that season. They talked about Kyle’s, Dorit’s and Erika’s lawsuits at the reunion last year. There just wasn’t that much to say. I think they definitely should have included the woman chasing Dorit around the pool in the Bahamas during the season and not just talked about it at the reunion, but other than that, how was the show supposed to portray lawsuits? Showing Erika giving a deposition? Dorit sitting down and answering interrogatories? Kyle driving Mauricio down Mulholland to his lawyer? They do this all on OC with divorces and family court, and it’s not that interesting to watch to me. As far as the infidelity, of course I want to hear about that, but the way all these franchises work is that someone else has to bring it up first. Very few Housewives—with noted exceptions, like Gina and Shannon from OC—come out and yell to the world, “my husband cheated on me!” So, I guess we can blame the cast mates for not calling each other out. I am serious about that. Someone should have said to Lisa, “Lisa, why is Harry always in Canada?” Denise could have said this. She had every opportunity. Instead, for whatever reason, she decided to try to turn the tables and say Brandi said she had sex with women at the table. And they handled that. So it is being brought up, it’s just not going anywhere. These women protect each other way too much. The RHNYC cast is so much better at calling out each other’s bullshit. But that falls as much on the shoulders of Denise (and Aaron, since he inserted himself) as anyone else as I see it. Where is Denise when it’s actually part of her job to ask about the tax returns? Why do they need to bring Camille in to do the dirty work? If Denise doesn’t want to play this way, a.) she has already, with the Brandi-sex-with-people-at-this-table rejoinder; and b.) this is Bravo reality TV and it ain’t for the feint of heart, sweetie, so I’m not sure where to go with Denise if she won’t get into the mud, or worse, she gets into the mud well after the fact in the wrongest ways humanly possible. Can’t she go the way of Kim Biermann and get a shitty spin-off about her family that will be all sunshine and roses and recast RHBH with actual bitches who will go there and who can think on their feet? Is that too much to ask?

Yes, I have no idea how I missed that one. Kyle said something about Malibu traffic, so I just assumed Denise was driving on her own, but there’s a whole scene of Garcelle and Michael pulling up to Denise’s hotel and waiting for her. I guess I was distracted. I blame the pins on Dorit’s dress. Given that Garcelle was waiting for Denise, that is some shitty, shitty behavior not to just text, “I’m not going to make it. I’m sorry to inconvenience you. We’ll talk tomorrow.” If Denise was afraid to text even that to Garcelle for fear that Garcelle would tell the producers that Denise wasn’t going to show up, and disclose the location of her hotel so that producers could ostensibly harass Denise? Then Denise doesn’t consider Garcelle a friend, and that’s Garcelle’s concern, which I think is sound. ———————————————————————————— On rewatch, I don’t think the Dorit-Garcelle-Lisa scene was filmed out of sequence. I read that on here, so I checked the scene out more thoroughly than I normally would, and Garcelle said Denise stood her up earlier that day. Then the show flashes back to “five hours earlier” with Garcelle wearing the same outfit and receiving a text from Denise in which Denise is canceling and offering for them to get together with their men during the holiday week. Denise is clearly not in cahoots with production, so there would be no reason for her to fake a text about the holidays being ahead of them as opposed to behind them. If we really want to work ourselves up into a conspiracy theory, we could say the scene between Dorit, Garcelle and Lisa was faked and Garcelle was wearing the same outfit that she did on the day that Denise stood her up, but I don’t think Garcelle rolls that way. I think Denise is just a shitty friend who succeeded in alienating her last two allies on the cast, Dorit and Garcelle. She can’t get out of her own way!

^^^ Yeah, I saw that, but isn’t that lame to preview a flashback?!? Production this season sucks. They should all hold up big yellow bananas at the beginning instead of diamonds, so at least we can be warned that we’re going to get screwed as viewers.

Where was the scene between Denise and Camille that they previewed last week? Am I taking crazy pills?

If Aaron put up an Instagram post of Denise’s six month old surgery the day after telling the producers there was a family emergency, that is not a lie, but it’s a huge manipulation. Sending a cease and desist to production is an amateur and cowardly way out, although I’m not privy to all of the details of what happened. It makes Denise look like she has a lot to hide, whether she does or not. So I kind of have to disagree with Lisa that Denise is really good at this PR game. I think she sucks at it, though that is perhaps her biggest sin. Once again, Denise’s biggest problem is Aaron. Instead of letting Aaron lie about a family emergency, Denise could have just said she wasn’t coming to the party because she didn’t want to see Brandi. There still would have been people who would have questioned why she didn’t want to see Brandi, but I don’t think those people’s questions would have subsided with a lie about a family emergency. It’s just adding to the aura of dishonesty. When Adrienne refused to film the reunion of season three, all of the cast—even the ones who were ride or die for Adrienne, like Kyle and Kim—said that was going too far, and—I watched it earlier today—to a person, pretty much everyone said that you shouldn’t go on reality TV if you have secrets that you don’t want to come out. Andy asked Brandi why she thought Adrienne would put herself on reality TV, and Brandi said that one thing you can’t buy is fame, and that’s what Adrienne wanted, but she was trying too hard to control the narrative, putting a spin on everything through the media and her chef, Bernie. I see way too many parallels here. I thought Adrienne was wrong then for dodging the show, and I think Denise is wrong now. Walking away from production is fine; I think it’s beautiful when someone puts their family above the almighty dollar. Sending a cease and desist when you don’t like your edit is a bridge too far for me. This show is in its tenth season. If Denise didn’t know what to expect, and she thought this was the E! Channel, that’s on her. Denise, please release Lisa Rinna’s text messages!!!!! It was surreal to see them all fast-forwarded into the present. Harry has to quarantine with Lisa. Mwhahahahaha.

I am with you. I think kids that age are better seen, not heard, amongst adults. I think it’s inappropriate for a kid to come yelling during a toast at an adults’ party. I noticed that PK and Kyle both remarked that Dorit talked too much during the episode, though, so maybe it was one of those out of the mouth of babes things. Lol, Brandi. The stuff between you and Denise “is no one else’s business” now??? A day late and a dollar short. Was Denise supposed to ride to Dorit’s party with Garcelle or something? I am not totally sure why Garcelle took the no-show so personally. Denise didn’t want Garcelle to have to lie for her. I have been saying all season that people shouldn’t lie—they don’t owe everyone the God’s honest truth, but I don’t think lying is helpful—so if Denise didn’t want to come to the party and just shut off her phone, that’s preferable to a lie to me. It’s some growth and progress. And I don’t know exactly how this show works with production, but I don’t think you get to take someone else’s lie and carry it over two degrees and take umbrage. If Aaron lied to the producers about a family emergency, I’m not sure the women then get to blame Denise for “lying.” That’s at least two degrees of separation. Let Aaron take that up with the producers. Again, not Team Denise, just calling balls and strikes.