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I hate Johnny. Tonight's episode was a great showcase as to what a loser he is. I honestly hope his girlfriend dumps his sorry ass.

Fuck you, Johnny. Fuck you, Nia. Fuck you, guy portraying Leroy for the episode. Wait . . . that was Leroy? That's disappointing. Oh, and fuck Jordan's facial hair, just because. He looks better without the Johnny Depp look. "Captain Jack," indeed. The bits with the kids impersonating each other were funny. I can see how CT would be easy to imitate. ETA: Anybody buy Nia's tears? I sure didn't.

Wow. That was one helluva hour, even if it was mostly Norwegian tourism material. Fuck you, Johnny. Seriously. Sarah is trying to play the game like you, and she's a "Judas"? Seriously?!? And fuck you, Nany, for piling on along with Nia. Speaking of the "hurricane". . . yes, BMP needs better rules. Sylvia can whale on Madison and not get tossed. Jason can manhandle Nicole so heinously that she's rocked to the core, and he gets off scot-free. But all Nia has to do is challenge Jordan's manhood and poke him in the dick, and that's grounds for dismissal? I'm not complaining about that . . .she's a bitch who's only on the show because she got a taste of Leroy, but the double standard is glaring. I wonder what Nicole thinks about it. Go, Sarah & Jordan. I hope Sarah can get that $125,000 and kickstart her life. "Grade school art teacher" looks better on a resume than "professional reality personality," Johnny. ETA: Maybe it was Violette that beat up Madison. I never cared enough to learn to tell her and Sylvia apart.

Lots of stuff going on this week. . . and all I can think of is how they used Angarr the Screamer. It's official . . . any character can be used to great effect on this show. ANY character.

Way to come back from hiatus, show. Even with the reset button getting hauled out and shined so prettily, it was still one helluva hour. Is it okay to feel bad for Linda? Stupid Barry hormones. Also think Mason was irritating, in the sense that he all but has the show's script in hand. It's great that somebody is putting two and two together about Wells, but it feels too convenient. Also, I figure Mason's corpse will be bury on top of Stagg's in about 2-3 episodes.

I really hope that's the case. Between the dicey format, the two week "vacation" and the elimination of the most recognizable "name," all I can hear is Admiral Ackbar shouting, "IT'S A TRAP!!!" I'm very glass-half-empty in general on a good day, so I can see a situation where TAR gets relegated to summer seasons. Or canceled by CBS and picked up by one of the lesser cable networks. Or canceled, period; Phil Keoghan finding himself unemployed, while Jeff Probst continues to explore the fascinating world up his own ass.

To be honest, I didn't notice that. I was too focused on Buggy using the word "flashy" over and over again.

Wow. Like I needed another reason to hate "March Madness." Actually, my beef centers on CBS not moving The Amazing Race from the shelf for two weeks, so it's petty by comparison to the real bullshit "student-athletes"* go through. The LWT video game was funny, as was Ed O'Bannon's commentary. Who can blame him for being pissed off at the NCAA for appropriating his likeness to make a buck? *For maximum fun, pronounce it like Eric Cartman in that one episode of South Park that covered this very injustice. "Student ath-oh-leet." ETA: Full disclosure . . . I went to a school in a small conference whose sole tournament representative usually gets fed to a big school in the first round of play. That is, if they don't get shoved into the "play-in" game.

Heads up . . . the episode airs at 10 pm., with an After Show at 11:01.

Just checking to see who else watched the premiere of Transformers: Robots In Disguise. It'll air at 6:30 a.m. on Saturdays at Cartoon Network, which doesn't show that much faith in the show. Here's my first exposure to it. . . I think it skews young, like Transformers Animated, as opposed to the last TF series, Prime. Oh, and Optimus Prime is some sort of Jedi ghost that leads Bumblebee around. Okay, then.

Three weeks. Stupid CBS. May all the games they carry have no shocking upsets. All chalk from start to finish. Meanwhile, Survivor gets a two-hour episode next week. Yes, I'm bitter. I feel bad for Harley & Jonathan. They were almost three hours behind Jeff & Jackie starting out the leg. They had a challenging Speed Bump*. Sucks to see actual fans of the show go out that early. Also, they're the third dating couple out of the game, while the five blind date teams hang in there, even as most of them want to be friends. Anybody else having troubles caring about which team is which? It's so annoying. I got a list of the teams, and I don't know all of their hashtags. Man, Hayley can't get laryngitis fast enough, but she and Blair finished second two legs in a row. Who would've predicted that? Meanwhile, Jelani & Jenny fall out of the lead, and Bergen & Kurt get first place. Good for them. And the tasks were interesting enough. I'm more of a dog person, but the cat café looked like fun. At least the teaser for the rest of the season looks good. Zebra-wrangling? Should be awesome. *Sorry, Cooksdelight, my memories of hard Speed Bumps is hazy at best.

Preview of the Ninth Doctor miniseries from Titan.

Heads up . . . apparently, [adult swim] will be rerunning episodes at 8:30. Just in time for us to get another taste of Japanese-flavored filler. I guess it's great for those who can't stay up until 2:30 in the morning and can't record episodes for whatever reason. As for the next episode, "A Big Rice Cake Tossing Race at the Castle! Red Nose's Plot!": Sandman87 . .. I guess you have to see Buggy's two arcs to get the full experience. Dude's got a circus-themed crew, and he can detach parts of his body. Even for the show, he's bonkers. Maybe we'll see more of Mr.3, the Baroque Works agent with the powers of the Wax-Wax Fruit. ETA: Curious . . . is throwing rice cakes from castles a thing in Japan? Another wacky episode, with more supporting characters from previous arcs. Of course, Zoro the monk would wind up not only getting lost, but also throwing away the "winning" rice cake. And, once again, we barely get any Buggy using his powers. Oh, well.

I don't watch GoT, so a lot probably went over my head. I still found the episode -- and Franquito -- to be funny, though. Even with the long con, Dennis wasn't a total sociopath this week. That's rare, right? Also, I was cringing something fierce watching Mac slice himself silly.

There wasn't a media topic, so I thought I'd start one. According to AVClub, Anthony Jeselnik will be hosting the upcoming season, and Norm Macdonald will replace Russell Peters as a judge. I don't know how Jeselink will translate on network television, but it should be interesting. I bet he'll have to hold back his nearly endless supply of venom.

"Deaging program"? I don't know about that. But then again, have we seen Woodhouse and Slater together at the same time? Nice episode. I'll have to see it again just for Cheryl's fantasy sequence. Nice that Archer might want to change, but then shit gets in the way. Like a sexually frustrated Katya. And a bunch of meddling coworkers . . . including Cyril. Poor, pathetic Cyril. I bet Ray laughs at him, and that dude's got one-and-a-half arms.

Dust Bunny . . . forgive my ignorance of the Bible. I don't recall a colon tatted on Mike's (??) back, but I imagined it.

I feel bad for Nina. I probably relate to her more than the others. Then again, if you were to give me an hour with the whole "No Collar" tribe, I might find common ground with Vince. In other words, I might be the odd one. I don't see Jenn and Hali as the second coming of Jenna and Heidi (same first initials, though), but I think Nina got hosed by being with the wrong tribe. Will had better make the merge, or I'm going to be hacked off. I will say that the challenge they showed for next week shows that the No Collars are lucky, because a blindfold challenge might have been the last thing Nina would be prepared for. I don't know if I should hitch my wagon to any of these horses. Shirin is wacky enough to keep me interested, and Max is supposed to be a scholar of Survivor. The others? Meh . . . maybe I could be buddies with Dan, but he comes cross as having Cliff's "intellect" and Norm's gut. Not a good combo to have. I'll bite . . . what is Psalm 1:21? And why would anybody have it scrawled-tatted across his back? I thought I imagined it before it got called out. Survivor gets two hours next week, while The Amazing Race gets shelved for two weeks due to "March Madness." Maybe it's because I hail from a small liberal arts college that's only been to the tourney once, but I'm bitter. The next episode better be friggin' fantastic. I'm thinking two blindsides, minimum. And Probst gets struck by lightning. Not enough juice to wipe him out, but enough to make him rethink some things. ETA: When Survivor switches locations, I'm probably going to miss the howler monkeys the most.

"Sarah . . . ? Sarah . . . ?" Screw you, Johnny. You and Nany should've been sent in last time. They lost, they should have remained out of the game. I don't know whose idea it was to send them in, and I don't care. Turnabout is fair play. I hope the end result makes Wes smile. He needs one. Seriously, I don't really like Wes, but I felt bad for him. Anything that gives Johnny a chubby isn't a good thing, and he was practically whacking it on the sidelines. Seeing Teege not have a problem with Wes throwing in the towel wasn't fun, either. Leroy damn near killed him . . . though you have to wonder if Wes would have wrecked his neck if he tried to take on Leroy head-on, instead of going low. Shut up, Nia. Once a psycho, always a psycho. Who takes her apologies seriously? Man, next week is going to suck. Who do you root for in the Dome? Nia is an insufferable bitch, but Johnny is always going to be Johnny. Also should be interesting to see the first-ever rematch in an elimination round.

Remind me never to piss off Nicole. Ever. Also: how smart was it to bring in Jason's dad after he got physical with Nicole? Given his state of mind, I would have expected him to just snap. BMP took a risk, and not a good one. So . . . no reunion? No "Shit They Should Have Shown" episode? Probably for the best. It would be sad if this was the group that killed the franchise, but I think it would be oddly fitting.

Oh, the panda. I think he's called "Pandaman." From what I recall, creator Eiichiro Oda slips him into the background of the manga every so often.

I don't remember who "Pops" was supposed to be. His face was hidden, right? Oh, and I missed the tangerines outside the restaurant. In canon, Nami grows them on the ship, and she has a tattoo that's a combination of a tangerine and pinwheel. A wood carving of that was hanging outside the restaurant. Oh, and not only will there be filler next week, I found another "Boss Luffy" title down the line in the Enies Lobby arc.

Out of curiosity . . . how big a hit would be expected after the tournament? A two week hiatus and an unpopular format makes me concerned for TAR's future. It's almost like CBS is setting up the show for failure.

Just checking to see if anybody else is keeping up with the show. Last week had the repair of Sango's giant boomerang weapon. I know, it has a proper name, but I can't remember it. Also: InuYasha got drunk. He got over it quickly . . . I'm betting demons have higher metabolisms.

Quilt Fairy . . . I think Phil got in some on-the-fly narration as Mike & Rochelle pulled up to their cabaret.