Lantern7

In the second season finale of Arrow, I chose to believe that Sara giving Laurel her jacket wasn't a sign of things to come. Cut to the third season premiere, where Sara got killed like a total punk, which was made worse when we found out the logistics. I'm hoping that Barry can get through a season without losing a loved one, especially Joe. Not like he can pop over to Earth-2 for a spare; that Joe got killed already.

Another member for the team, and Zari fits like a glove. She's got issues, a rebellious side, and now she has powers. I'm thinking that if you go far into the future, the Statue of Liberty would be replaced with a statue of Sara. "Bring me your misfits, your nerds, your career criminals, your second-stringers yearning to thrive and mess up time to an absurd degree." Yes, I know Mick's more "Legend," but he has a statue. Nate saw Ray's eyepatch and beard, and raised him a drug trip. I mean, he was trying to help Amaya (albeit through cheating), but he's such a goober. I'm good with it, probably because I'm at least 40 percent goob myself. Oh, and Gary doesn't count, because he's not a Legend. He does deserve more smacks to the head than Ray and Nate combined. Mick is awesome especially lying on the floor. They didn't have to bring in another Prison Break reference, but that's only the second one in two seasons, right? Within reasonable limits. See: "Baz, Simon." To DC's credit, he has worked out well on Green Lanterns. He just wasn't an immediate home run like Kamala Khan in Ms. Marvel.

To review: Joe had a daughter. His wife left him. His best friend's wife was murdered, he was charged with the crime, and Joe winds up taking care of the son. Then they grew up. Then Barry got struck by lightning and went into a coma for nine months. Then he became the Flash. Then the wife comes back dying, revealing that they had a son. Then Barry went into the Speed Force. Then he came back. And he's engaged to his sister-in-all-but-blood. And now Cecile is pregnant. On the Arrow forums, I joke about how Quentin would be totally justified falling off the wagon with a sickening thud. Joe should be right behind him. Maybe there's no alcohol to be had in Central City. Maybe it's all coffee. Cisco, Cisco, Cisco. "Hazard"? How about "Miss Fortune"? It's right there! I know that "Hazard" is Beck is cute, though. Sadly, I don't think the imminent destruction of the city would have kept her from press her luck. Seriously, she was not at the point where she was wishing for a misfire. I do have to wonder what law she broke. I know, quantum physics and so forth, but you could get a lawyer to argue her case. Well, except for the part where she robbed a bank. But she wasn't armed. I'm thinking too much about this, aren't I? Wally, Wally, Wally. You are the Fastest Putz Alive. Barry is faster, but you're the bigger goober. On the bright side, you're not at the level of Ray and Nate from Legends of Tomorrow, but he's on his way. Given his funk, watching him get tangled up in bad luck wouldn't been as fun as watching Barry suffer. Cute bit with the laser tag and the trademark lines from the series and Arrow. Nice to see Team Flash kick back and not angst too much. Also, even with everything going haywire and STAR Labs almost melting down again, at least Caitlin didn't go full-on Popsicle. I'm good with Harry coming back, though I'd be game for an episode entitled "Crisis of Infinite Wells." "Welles"? You just know that's going to happen.

Not watching. I do have to ask: how does one bring a garden gnome to life? For future reference, I mean . . . in case I need the information later.

Rick and Morty sell out some more. By "Rick and Morty," I mean "Rick."

Got bored, hit Wikipedia. This will be the third year in a row where a suffering fan base (definition: waiting over a quarter-century for a title) will wind up happy. Also, is this the furthest a team representing Texas has gotten?

Note to self: be wary if I ever find myself on Jordan Klepper's "ShOpposition" site.

Dang, I got my voice actors mixed up. When will the J'onn from Smallville pop up? Maybe as an opportunistic lawyer . . . @GHScorpiosRule: in my head, Smallville was not big on nuance, and the anvils fell frequently. I don't want this series to follow suit.

Funny115: Mario shows more love for Cochran. Best line: "Phillip [sic] has just screwed the pooch harder than a sex fiend after hours at a puppy mill." Something might be wrong with me. ETA: Mario goes over Ralph. He seems like a nice dude to me, and he did outplay Russell . . . but he voted for Philip. Seriously, what the FUCK??? I mean, that's a bigger WTF than Coby not giving the ultimate victory to Tom.

Good episode. Usual angst, but we have a semblance of a happy ending. Of course, that's probably going to be drowned out in the next several episodes, but a win's a win, right? Didn't know that pins might not be magnetic. All that was missing was Lorna shouting, "Did you see X2?!? Did you see what Magneto did to the poor bastard who got iron injected into him?!?" Having something pulled out without anesthesia must hurt like a motherfucker. That's balanced by Pulse and the comedy of mutants staring at their hands in disbelief, unable to comprehend that they can't make magic anymore. Just so I'm clear: Andy can pull stuff apart, Lauren has a bubble thing that might be like pushing. Am I close?

Wow. This episode was as subtle as a wrecking ball to the head. Worse, it was Smallville subtle. I'm guessing there was an election between the last finale and today in this continuity. Of course, had there been a change of leadership, we probably would've heard it by now, instead of from a few clunky lines. If President Lynda Carter was exposed as an alien maybe I'd understand. Maggie's parents suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Can't be said enough. "Meh" on the Mars stuff in general. Too much CGI and suspension of disbelief for me to fully invest myself. Great that P'apa J'onzz will be around, but I know shit will go wrong with him. And then J'onn is going to explain Hank Henshaw to him. "'Cyborg Superman'?!? He hates aliens, and he's okay with that name? H'ronmeer friggin' gawd . . . "

At least I found out from Jordan that Michael Grimm's comeback is backed by Steve Bannon. Like I'm not depressed enough. I hope you folks understand that not everybody from Staten Island thinks alike. I'm good with Jordan as kindasorta 2010s Stephen Colbert as Right-Wing Firebrand. I hope he asks the right people for help. I imagine him getting three minutes of laughter from Larry Wilmore before the connection would be lost.

Mets Fan: Okay, so we got a new manager. Never heard of the guy, but he's got about four months to figure out the formula for making the Mets contenders again. I feel good about today, News: Ray Knight got charged with assault and battery!! Here's a picture of him at the 30th anniversary celebration of the '86 team, even though he's identified as "ex-Reds manager." Mets Fan: Fuck the world.

This week's classic 1 a.m. block: Monday: The Greatest Event in Television History (the Hart to Hart one; all of them hosted by Jeff Probst, who wasn't rubbing up on alpha males) Tuesday: Newsreaders and You're Whole (the latter being maybe a step above the faux infomercials that AS runs) Wednesday: Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell and Hot Package (meh; I did see somebody cosplaying as a YPFIGTH devil at NYCC a few weeks ago) Thursday: Rick and Morty ("Total Rickall") Friday: "Too Many Cooks" and "Unedited Footage Of A Bear" Oh, and AS will be running The Walking Dead edition of Robot Chicken next Sunday at 1 a.m. I thought it was good, though I did bail out of TWD when the gang hit Terminus.

Here's the page for the current season. The next episode's title: "Sons A Witches." Halloween ep! And when was the last time we saw the Goth kids? Also, it looks like there will be two off-weeks: November 1 and November 22. ETA: I typed in "Sons A Witches" and I got this page. "At the annual Halloween get together, a witch casts a spell that terrorizes everyone in South Park." My guess? It's more like a Wiccan, and everybody freaks the fuck out for little reason.

Hey, somebody had to teach Cabbe about going Super Saiyan. Can't wait for the tournament to wrap up, when Goku informs the kid that he doesn't necessarily need rage and anger to achieve a new level of power. This week: Vegeta's winning streak ends as master assassin Hit uses his uncanny mojo to decimate him. Goku steps up . . . and this is basically the deciding battle, because Monaka doesn't have any real power, and he was used to motivate the Saiyans. Apparently, Beerus can be as foolish as Champa. On the bright side, Goku seems to get the hang of battle at episode's end.

This week: Rusty becomes the "Guzzle Bumpkin" for an energy drink, and chaos ensues. That involves him getting explosives shoved up his butt by Earle and Granny, because we can't get that highbrow with this series (and I say that with a degree of love). This week's unexpected cameos: Coolio and Jackass alumnus Wee Man. Oh, and Earle gets a shit-ton of shit dumped on him on New Year's Eve in New York. I haven't heard any rumors about that replacing the traditional ceremony, but I'll be sure to keep an ear out.

I guess I'll be pulling for the other team to debut in 1962. Unless they invite Mike Scott to throw a first pitch. He was cheating, and everybody knew it. :P

Query: do pitching coaches make good managers? Maybe the Mets pitchers will go back to being awesome . . . but I'm not feeling good. Is Chase Utley still with the Dodgers? That's enough for me to (halfheartedly) root for the Astros.

Aw, she's not wearing Jets colors, and the team is doing better than expected now. I'm thinking the outfit is based on the Israeli flag.

Looks like the TARDIS might need to grow a few extra rooms. I'm still wondering when Thirteen gets her "official" outfit.

Jotaro: You know what we've been missing from the series? Kakyoin: Really unsettling body horror that befits an anime? Jotaro: Good grief, this show is so unpredictably predictable. So . . . turns out Jojo didn't get a mind-controlling bud from DIO. No, it's Empress, a Stand that basically grows from his arm, performs acts of viciousness and outright murder, and basically ruins the old man's day. In the end, the codger manages to use Hermit Purple . . . first to restrain Empress, then to predict when he could find tar to sink the little bitch in for the final blow The Stand user? Hol Horse's cutie from the last story, who turns out to be an old woman that Polnareff kept hitting on. I'm hoping Jojo never lets him live that down. Also, DIO's henchwench takes Centerfold's death personally, and she basically rants, raves, and assaults a cat. Bad news: I think CN/as is running the last season of Samurai Jack next weekend.

Funny115: Profile on Stacey from South Pacific.

Lockjaw is still a sweetheart. I like the nub tail wagging frantically. I'm hoping we get to find out how the Inhumans got a massive bulldog with them. Hopefully, it won't be from some bastard undergoing Terregenesis. I heard it won't be in this continuity, and I'm okay with that. Apparently, Karnak needed some lovin' to get his brain firing on a few cylinders. The karate chop of the bullet was awesome . . . until we found that it hit the lady. Gorgon is also cool, I guess. I'm good if elements of this series goes into AoS; I'll understand if it doesn't. Still imagining Coulson hopping on Lockjaw's back like the might steed he is in the event Lola gets wrecked. I don't think "teleporting bulldog" outranks "shotgun axe," but it would be close.

In Jordan's defense, Cara Maria tends to panic quickly. Personally, I'd do away with the pairs in the finale. It basically becomes a crap shoot where you would end up carrying Zach's exhausted ass, struggle on mid-level math with Nicole, or anything involving Cory.