Lantern7

In case you're one of the five people who haven't seen this yet:

Somebody had done a brief recap of the latest premiere of The Bachelor, so I was expecting a "Pilot Hunk" sketch. Dummy that I was, I didn't even think we'd get another installment of "Undercover Ren." Adam Driver is an odd-looking guy,right?

Second season started last week with a Bento Box challenge. Most of the time, when someone tastes the food prepared by a pro chef or a student, a really sexual orgasm is the result. Question: if a chef preps a dish, eats it and has a foodgasm . . . would that be considered masturbation?

You thought we were done with parallels to Seinfeld after the mock trailer with George? Think again. Now I’m imagining Arthur screaming “SERENITY NOW!!!” as he killed Murray.

I got the ninth volume from the library.

Maybe he'll get a suit that's more in line with canon and less like armor.

Pennywise is on a whole other level. Arthur is scary, but not extradimensional scary. On the bright side, they worked in the “STARES” running gag done for the Twilight movies.

I reckon we might need to stop with the Arrowverse shows. I mean, I liked the backdoor pilot (which sounds dirty, like a sex position only Ralph Dibny can perform), but I reckon the Arrowverse (Flashverse? CWDCverse? Oliver is dead, after all) has the same potential for oversaturation and diminishing returns that hangs over MCU. Arrow ends, Green Arrow & The Canaries begins, and we got another new series in Stargirl. Granted, I think that's online first before TV, but the expansion is still going on. Welcome to Star City 2040! There is no crime!! Uggghhh . . . why not just say "There hasn't been a massive calamity since Oliver Queen first came back from the dead"? Mia Queen is living her best life, but then Laurel and Dinah have to fuck things up. Oh, and Laurel has a portable version of the "Crisis" front page that hung over Barry Allen's head, portending the world going to crap. Luckily for us, Mia turns back into the cage fighting kicker of ass, and she and the other two channel the Drew/Cameron/Lucy era Charlie's Angels. Seriously . . . "Who are you bitches?!?" Cue explosion. Cut to the editors watching the footage and creaming themselves. And I wouldn't blame them. And it wasn't an awful "serious" version of "Sirens of Spacetime" from Legends of Tomorrow last season. LoT remains the current standard of a "team" series, but GA&TC could challenge them. I still think Auntie Sara could wreck all three ladies inside of ten minutes. Rene is a successful mayor. Hey, why the fuck not?!? Maybe he remarries, they have a son, and he names him Quentin. "Quentin H. Ramirez." Doable, yes? Can't believe it all ends next week. *sigh*

Nice to see that worlds lived and worlds died after the Crisis, but there are still a bunch of misfits looking out for history. And they got to ditch the Real World atmosphere. At least this was early RW. Give them six months, you'd have a drunken Ava shoving Nate against the pole, yelling, "ONE! ON! ONE!!! ONEONONE!!!!! I WILL WORK YOU!!!!" Looks like Sara didn't tell Mick and Ray all of the shit she went through beyond Oliver's death. I mean, she was labeled a "Paragon," she was stuck at Vanishing Point for at least six months, she had to return from the dead (maybe just symbolically?), and now she's dealing with the same issues as Kara, J'onn and the other Paragons . . . remembering the world that came before. Bright side: she can still kick ass and work with a motley crew of misfits, and that's why I think she's the best hero in the Arrowverse. Or Flashverse. The Whatever-verse. If Mona comes back, I hope she winds up "cured" of "Wolfie." It's another layer of annoyance that her character doesn't need. I didn't hate her as much as others last season, but I'm good with her taking the smutty romance baton from Mick. She's okay in smaller doses. Sadly, I don't think we'll be rid of Gary as easily. If Oliver wound up setting up Earth-Prime as Spectre, I'm thinking at least two Legends owed him money in order for him to stick them with more Gary. If you're going to bring back the worst people from Hell, why not start with Rasputin? Of course he turns into a ham in front of the cameras. Nice that Ray got to do what Scott Lang didn't wind up doing to Thanos, albeit in a rated-PG way. Not unlike how Sam killed a vampire in True Blood. Sweet that Avalance is still going strong even with the occasional rift. I like Behrad. He's as dorky as Ray and Nate, which probably means Sara will be tearing her hair out more often. Of course, Zari should still be around, and Nate will go questing for her. I liked them as a couple, but I get the criticism against that ship. Who is Blind Wave? I did recognized Lord Mesa's art style, though. I really need to meet him and hit him up for a sketch. He does great work. If you want another off-kilter take on Rasputin, here's an Epic Rap Battle with him, Stalin, and a few surprise guests.

Okay . . . onto the established wacky team series!

Also: “It’s 2040!”

Heh. Dinah and Laurel opening a B&B for budding vigilantes.

“She” = Emiko?

“Who are you bitches?!?” Cue explosion. Like watching an adaptation of the Charlie’s Angels original reboot condensed for TV. Only thing missing was Prodigy getting blasted during that scene.

Dude looks like a cleaned-up Pete Davidson.

“Namaste. Namaste. NAMA-SAVE-MY-ASS!”

“I love you, honey. Some bitch laid a whammy on me, and now I keep seeing you as a terrorist. Twenty-forty, am I right?”

Heh. Telling off Laurel never gets old.

If you mean before she came to E1, those people never existed. I guess they couldn’t call him “Skyman.” 🤓🤓🙄🙄

Anyone thinking of a Birds vs. Birds “event”? Maybe with Gail Simone writing? 🤞🤞

Laurel, your bridge is stable. Why are you trying to burn it?!?

I imagine Sara watching. “They’re good. Really good. I mean, I could beat all of them inside ten minutes, but it’s a start.”

“All questions regarding time travel can be directed to Capt. Lance on the Waverider.”

“There hadn’t been crime in Star City in twenty years!” It’s like the universe overcompensated. I can hear people coveting Mia’s boots right now. Whos the doofus with the hair?

Heh. Cisco and J’onn met. Kinda want to see that now.