Corgi-ears

"Your playlist is GARBAGE." Heeeee. A+ burn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUMkUhnJ-pk

In Greece, the word "'metaphores' (metaphors) is often seen emblazoned on a van. In modern Greek, [the word] means 'movers,' and comes with burly men used to hoisting large pieces of furniture and boxes." Hence, you can actually get "run down by the Moving Van of Metaphor." This makes sense, since to the Ancient Greeks, "'metaphero' meant 'I carry from one place to another.'"

Especially if it turns out that it's because , or something.

At this point it feels like I'm watching a show about members of a cult. Somehow they all seem to believe that April is the Greatest Human Being Ever (actually spoken by Ron, irony-free, because Ron doesn't do irony), likely to lead mankind, or at least the Federal government, to a new promised land. And they have short-term memory loss, too. When Leslie sputters, after April's revelation that she does not like her work, that she cannot believe "this is the first time [she's] hearing it," I'm had to wonder if she's ever watched...her own life, or if she has met April.

As he proved during Restaurant Wars OH WAIT. I sort of liked the Tears of Discontinuity. It allowed me to imagine that Mei cried for a long, looong time during judging, the tears actually dried, and then Padma made her cry AGAIN. (And I like Mei. I'm just evil.)

As a gay man, I'm simultaneously so disappointed in Hot Jeremy (and the possibility that we will no longer see much of him on the show), and SO HOPEFUL.

I wonder if they held Drag Race back so that they can use it to launch the Russell T Davis show Cucumber (and possibly Banana? I don't quite know if both will be on Logo).

Oh my god, Agustin and Richie are totally going to Do Sex, aren't they?

The show could set a more modest, but more concrete challenge: "Select a specific culinary rule, and cook us a dish that breaks it."

Heh. I don't know if this topic was inspired by Eddie Redmayne's and Anna Kendrick's confessions on a recent Graham Norton show, but you folks are in good company, in your handbasket. Edit: Ack, didn't see that helent linked to the same thing. Probably because I was BLINDED BY LUST (for an Archer character, but not the one you think. No, not that one either. Or that one).

The elimination challenge had so much promise, but as is sometimes the case, the show wasted that potential by being too vague about parameters, or by not helping the chefs understand the challenge better. They, and the show, should take the idea of innovation more seriously. First, it seems like many of the chefs really just created dishes with twists. "Ah, this soup normally is just soup -- but behold, mine has fish skin! TWIST!!!" That's not innovation in my book. Shouldn't innovation involve some paradigm-shifting? "Wahey, after eating this dish, I realize that chicken should never ever be fried!" "Who knew that you could even braise gelatin?!" "Wait, you can cook meat by sweating into it, George? What a new and unusual technique!" (By this yardstick, it feels like Mei did break new ground, showing us that curry need not be heavy in consistency and texture.) Second, too many of the chefs defined -- or were allowed to define -- "innovation" in too personal a manner, by thinking of innovation as equivalent to "something I normally wouldn't do," as "me stepping out of my box." That's not especially interesting, and certainly impossible to judge. It would mean, for example, that someone who only cooked Asian food throughout the competition "innovates" by not using Asian flavors, while another chef who has in fact been diverse has less room to "innovate." And if "innovate means to step out of your own personal comfort zone" was the criterion, I would win the challenge the minute I do more than fry an egg.

That was one of the weaker episodes for me. I like the show so much more when it's mostly Abbie and Ilana hanging out together. It's not even that I don't like the supporting characters (speaking of which, where the hell has hot neighbour Jeremy disappeared to?); I think when Ilana and Abbie are separated, it's harder for me not to recognize that Ilana often leaves a trial of destruction and is often a bit of a dick, while Abbie is sometimes a bit too put upon. Also: did I hallucinate this, or was each episode last season confined to a day? And if so, have they abandoned that conceit this season?

It was a fascinating "depends on how you slice it" situation (WORDPLAY!). On one hand, it is true that Mei had a sous chef who apparently had never cooked, so perhaps she should have gotten points for that. But I also thought that Melissa's leadership approach was better. Mei's tactic, by her own admission, was to give her brother as little to do as possible (I can't remember exactly what he did, but didn't his dish feature raw seafood?). In contrast, Melissa thought back to a dish that her mom used to make, and taught her to do an elevated version. She recognized her sous chef's strengths and talents and nurtured them, brought them out. If I had to work in a kitchen under someone, it would obviously be Melissa instead of Mei. And if the challenge was truly meant to assess and reward that skill, then it was nice that Melissa did win. (Of course, the counter-argument to that is that Mei was working with someone who had no talent that could be brought out. At least in her account; Im not sure I totally buy it.) This is also why I found the episode quite gripping. I know some viewers and reviewers deemed the episode boring because there was no elimination. But the challenge was actually an interesting one that showcased different ways of relating to people. The Mei/Melissa situation could even be a Business school case study in leadership and management styles.* * possibly an overstatement

Last season, Patrick was hesitant about letting Richie fuck him in the ass. In this episode, Patrick thought nothing about letting Kevin do the same, and the implication is that this has become de rigueur. So I think depictions of sex can advance plot and character.

If I had a EHG Mini credit, I would ask the panelists how, and into which show they would insert a character bearing their names, and what that character would be like, how he or she would function in the plot, etc. I feel like David T. Cole should be on an animated show, not just because he -- allegedly -- dresses like a cartoon character.

Lord, I personally HATED that performance of "Take Me to Church." I don't need to see a song about religious hypocrisy and intolerance acted out by college kids miming drawing swords AND PLUNGING THEM INTO THEIR OWN BEER GUTS. Halfway through the number I placed a bet with myself that it would end with someone "collapsing" to his knees, all "spent" and "exhausted' with "emotion," and I ended the evening a rich man. But kudos to the lead singer, who was clearly able to relate to a song about religious persecution by thinking of all the times he got ribbed for being a short shrimp of a man. I thought the Exchange was the best group by far, though, as we went into the final three, I suspected that the show would award it to Traces, given how it had never let a all-female group get that far. My sense is that the Melodores won because this "season" no longer had a recording contract as a prize. We know that one strike against collegiate groups in the past was the recording company's reluctance to award a contract to bands who never had consistent memberships. With the change in prize this year, the show saw a chance to reward a kind of acapella group that has often been entertaining on the Sing-Off, but I refuse to be convinced that Melodores are better than Dartmouth Aires, Beelzebubs, or even Vocal Point or On the Rocks. [/tin foil hat] PS: What was that on the face of Home Free's lead singer? A moustache, you say?

Question! When Alison first gets to the nursing home, she is wearing the dress that she picked out for her assignation with Noah (the one that, ahem, Cole loves her in). After she and Athena have their time with grandma, Alison and Athena leave her room -- and Alison is now in her waitress uniform. I'm either puzzled or intrigued by that. When I first watched the scene, I thought that the costume change was meant to mark that it was a different occasion, that it was a flashback to a previous time (perhaps the first time) when Alison and Athena clashed about grandma's meds. But it becomes clear -- not least because Athena is in the same outfit -- that Alison has simply changed into her waitress uniform off-screen. Now, maybe the show just didn't feel the need, understandably, to show her changing. But then again, they could have avoided this by simply having Alison get dressed in the uniform when leaving Noah, and thus arriving at the nursing home already dressed for work. What's going on? Am I overthinking this? Possibly yes. But this is also a show where changes in outfits have, if nothing else, marked divergences between Noah and Alison's memories, and in general been A Recurring Thing. (e.g., Noah getting coffee spilled on him, needing to buy a new shirt on Block Island). Curious and curiousier.

The women played paper-rock-scissors, and the loser had to fuck Winston. Presumably the writers were trying to cover their bases by having the Alexandra Daddario character shrugged and say, "It's ok, I kinda want to." STILL CREPT ME THE HELL OUT.

It was indeed a hilarious episode, but there was a dull moment: when Annie Lennox was on the couch droning on about having done yet another cover album. I also had trouble understanding the last red chair story. Did Capt Picard get electrocuted in the balls? (A sentence I never thought I would write.)

I don't think I hallucinated it, but there was a shot of Robbie in the carriage eating one of his apples, which I thought was meant for his horse. (I suppose it was a matter of time, since he has constantly been asking to eat the food from previous tasks.) I was convinced that it would result in a penalty, or at least some hijinks when the wrestlers get to the end and had not enough apples. But twas not to be. Gay people have sex too, despite what some TV portraits would suggest, so I didn't find that offensive in some sort of homophobic way. Infantile, perhaps, but not offensive. "I feel like I just kissed a goat." Brooke is offended by that remark, Robbie.

God knows I hate Shaugnessy, but Carl Everett actually called him the "curl haired boyfriend" of Gordon Edes, which is not exactly a homophobia-free remark and thus a bit hard for me to embrace. I hope the show at some point starts to veer more towards "Boston cuisine" as a theme, as opposed to "Boston, the city in general."

Blah blah blah most natural of ways, says the woman with partly green hair?

While a lot happened this season, its overall roadmap (WORDPLAY!) seems to be to introduce a new villain who stirs shit up, only to be dispensed with in the season's closing moments, thereby returning things somewhat to status quo. (Dispensed with too neatly, and to me somewhat unbelievably -- if you just escaped from prison via a tunnel, would you stand idly by the side of the road as a van that you surely recognized as one of the prison's comes barreling down the road? Hmm.) I think this allows the show to essentially be reset for Season 3. Sure, I imagine that the show might show Suzanne bearing the scars of this season, but I suspect that by and large it will be status quo. This bothers me a little: it feels a little like the show was treading water because its main conflict -- Piper and Alex -- had to be put on the back burner because of Laura Prepon. (Perhaps my interpretation is colored by knowing about Prepon, etc.) I guess the flashback-to-one-character's-past-per-episode structure that OITNB has adopted since day one should have made it clear to me that the show, in some ways, models itself after Lost. But this season may very well end up being the equivalent of the Tailies season of Lost.

Not just you. Gary very quickly looks down at Ray's groin when he first walks up to them, as a way to signal said boner to Amy. Guess this was one fact he couldn't whisper into someone's ear.