Joimiaroxeu

What is Maya's deal? How does getting Oliver in trouble--or possibly even fired--benefit her in any way? Is she just jealous that he wants someone other than her?

Well, I'd call Phyllis a lot of things before I'd call her mentally deficient. (Most of them are words we're not supposed to use here...) I think that ish is straight up from the Newman side. Poor Jack.

LOL. As much as I want to believe she's Jack's kid, her Nick genes seem to be coming out strong lately.

So excited she sorta curtseyed like Traci was royalty or something. It was weird and so is Kelly. Now that it's known that Paul is Dylan's father (but still no DNA test...), maybe they can rename Dylan to Pauline, as in "Perils of..." It's just one disaster after another with that guy and each one is usually of his own making. I would have assumed Summer still had her trust funds from Nick and Victor (although I guess for tax reasons they'd have to call them something else). She's down to just one trust fund now? Poor baby, how will she ever live like the spoiled rich bratty heiress she is?

IKR? It's only a big deal because she's trying to make it one. If it's Tuesday, Dylan must be making his emo face and Nikki must be close to hyperventilating about something trivial. Yo, Nick, there's this amazing new invention called a telephone. Look into it. LOL. I figured he teleported.

Look at Hannah sitting there with her two mens. Too bad one of them is stabbing her in the back. Ditto the comment upthread that being in a coma did wonders for Benny's personality. Wonder why Hannah didn't tell him that the sperm donor had been trying to snatch his kidneys? Interesting that Veronica would fix Jeffrey up with someone who looks so much like Candace. One can only hope. But I still don't understand why Amanda wants to kill Wyatt too.

Yeah, dropped like Summer was apparently when she was a baby. On her head. And just as full of nitrites.

Another cryptic remark from Celine to Jim about some unspoken child. Hmmm. Watch out for those falling anvils. Anybody wanna bet that Benny will be getting a new hush money truck courtesy of the Cryers? It'll probably have one of those big bows on it too. Since when does the target of a restraining order have to sign it? Surely that can't be legal but then neither are kidnapping, torture, and extortion. Ruh, roh. Bet Candace's ex the convict now has Amanda's gun. That meme is exactly what I was thinking of when I watched that scene. I can't see how the doctors would allow that any time soon if ever given what Benny's just been through healthwise. Plus, it's still not known whether his kidneys would be compatible. Tony might get the moral slapdown of finding out that the kidney he was willing to kill his kid for is worthless to him. Yeah but if she gets out of this alive, payback's probably going to be the biatch to end all biatches.

LOL! The plane must have had a gym on board because it looks like he did some working out too. I've heard of long weddings, maybe several hours if you include the reception, but a year? Who has that kind of time? (Seriously, though, this show is getting sloppy with the bad line readings.) Yep, lucky and grateful to be rushed into bed, rushed into an engagement, and rushed into a wedding. A wedding in a friggin' public park with a sweaty jogger and a guy reeking of hot dog juice literally pulled off the street as the witnesses. Neil probably bought the ring at K-Mart and they won't even go a honeymoon because of important Jabot work he has to do. Hilary's grateful to be treated like garbage so Neil can pretend she's not a rebound booty call? The only good think about it is that there's no prenup but knowing Hilary she'll be too honorable to take half his money when they inevitably divorce. Grrr!

I was watching the show as it was being broadcast. There was less than 15 minutes left and all the awards had been given out. Time still needed to be allotted for KG to sign off the show and for credits to run. There was no reason to give JFP all that time, especially since she'd already given a speech earlier when she accepted the (bogus, IMO) special award for Jeanne Cooper's tribute. KG was NATAS' "hired help" (although she says she wasn't paid; not sure I believe there wasn't some kind of compensation involved) and would have had no authority just to decide to cut anyone off. The show's producers probably decided it and send KG out to do it. She'd already been trying extra hard to be edgy, what with all the profanity and throwing shade on bona fide daytime stars who didn't happen to be present (not to mention what she said about some who were present...). Stepping to JFP would easily play as more of her schtick (and IMO, it did). Sure a couple of blogger/reporter types chose to slant the story that KG took it upon herself to be rude to an award recipient because they happen to dislike JFP. I'm no fan of JFP either but I think it's absurd to paint what happened as some kind of heroic moment where KG was carrying the flag for America. I imagine if MM had been standing there about to drone on while the clock was running out and had been cut off, those very same blogger/reporter types would have been calling for KG's head.

It's funny because The Talk had BM, ED, and AH on today and they asked all of them if there's anyone they forgot to thank. I'm pretty sure BM didn't mention Jessica either at the ceremony or on The Talk and several of the hosts seemed to be trying to needle him about it. He wasn't having it.

Yes! Between Neil and Hilary and Nikki and Victor, I am very creeped out by how this show tries to play abusive relationships as high romance. I know it's nothing new for soaps but it's still sick. "Well oh darn, that's just how we felt when you married our dad/grandpa, almost destroyed his company and our legacy, and burned down the ranch. So, guess we're even now?"

Kelly is such an instigator. Gah! On top of all his other fails, Billy has a bad carbon footprint.

Yeah Kathy Griffin cut JFP off but I think that guy is presuming to know the reason. The show was over and apparently the producers didn't feel they needed to go overtime for JFP's speech. Plus, JFP had already held court when she accepted the award for Jeanne Cooper's tribute (which was in a new "special" category and seemed sort of bogus to me).

Ugh, that's what grinded my gears most about their whole conversation. Victor is the one who did the wrong but Nikki practically has to apologize to him and ask for permission to return to her home? WTF? Nikki is a classic emotionally abused wife but the show plays it like theirs is the greatest romance of all time. It's disgusting. I FF'd so much of this episode and the previous one that it actually took me longer to read Peach's ever fabulous recaps than it did to watch the shows.

That's what so ridiculous about this mess. The whole thing is hanging on coincidental evidence derived from Paul's mad detectivating skillz (plus the fact that Ian was willing to support the lie to his hoped for financial advantage). Just like with Jack and Summer, and Devon and Tucker, nobody gets DNA tests done unless the kid involved is a baby. It's not smart. The entire Newman, Abbott, and Chancellor clans need to go on the Maury show and find out once and for all who is and is not the father. Yeah and Cane expressed some doubt too after Neil walked away. I think he was referring to Devon's unrevealed interest in Hilary. That combined with Dr. Barton's dismissal of it as a mere fling makes me think maybe the wedding isn't going to come off. I just hope Leslie isn't going to get jealous and try to break them up.

That's my bet. Too bad Katie has to get left behind in order for him to pull it off but then I never believed he was doing anything but playing her as well.

Man, that was something the way Nikki was holding court like Paul was her husband. I see five of Christine's fingers forcefully introducing themselves to Nikki's face sometime in the near future. Cricket may only be about 92 pounds soaking wet but she's wiry. "Daaaaad, I hate it when you send the cops after my boyfriends!" "Summer, I hate it when your boyfriends kidnap and shoot people! You're grounded!"

Since we now know Candace isn't with child, whose pregnancy test did Jim find at Candace's apartment? Does this mean Amanda really is pregnant or is that plot just going to be dropped?

I don't think anyone in the scene referred to him by name but the closed captioning said his name was Barton. As in Barton Shelby, Leslie's quickie husband with the fakest-sounding name ever. This is a woman who moved across an ocean to another continent to keep her kid away from his father. Are we supposed to believe that she would let two shady strangers into her home with barely a second thought? I hope she's going to pull a gun on them once they get inside.

Nah, it's just a matter of time before Hope and Liam have a big fight or one of them jumps to a hugely wrong conclusion about the other's behavior. She'll go running to Wyatt for sympathy and he'll probably receive her with open arms. I'd have so much respect for Wyatt if he told her now, "No, we can't just be friends. I'm not going to be sitting on the backburner waiting for you and Liam to break up for the gazillionth time. My name isn't Steffy, this option is off the table, have a nice life."

Of course she does. Judge Kelly--like Judge Judy--knows everything. Bet her poops are odorless too. So, where is she going to take him to hide out, the stables on the Newman ranch, the Abbott estate's pool house, or Phyllis' penthouse? Enquiring minds want to know! Sigh, it's ever so helpful for fatherhood to be reduced to a contest. Especially since Nick is ahead in points only because he cheated for the first 18 rounds.

Golf claps to TP. Did not see that angle coming with Jim and the car with the faked VIN. But what's to keep Veronica from producing the real car which probably has Wyatt and the victims' DNA on it? Meanwhile, nice how Jim managed to wear a tie that matched his campaign posters. He has much better sartorial sense than his wife. Hannah called the police on her cell phone and she didn't give them her address. How were the police to know where to find her? Maggie the Cat is about as subtle as a runaway freight train carrying nuclear waste. She looked ready to mount David right there in the campaign office. Or is she just testing him to see if he's susceptible to campaign-killing temptation? Kudos to TP for making a very timely statement on how easy it is for mentally ill people to buy guns. Too bad he had to make it in such a clownish, over-the-top way. But geez, Jim values his political career more than the possibility or Amanda killing somebody? While he's again insisting that he's handling it, handling it, handling it, she could be shooting up the nearest shopping mall. Wow, Candace's hair and makeup look fabulous for someone who's been held hostage in a dank basement for a couple of days. Benny may not be brain-dead but I don't know how he isn't going to be brain-damaged after being in a coma for so long. And he probably didn't have IQ points to spare before the accident. Yeah, she probably was. That's likely what the payments to her are all about: hush money/child support. Not sure why the Cryers have to keep her on at the mansion pretending like she's working. I hope we're not going to find out that the kid lives there too. The show did in fact begin as a play, but with an entirely different cast and a slightly different storyline. TP doesn't seem to understand that a play has different beats and tempo than a TV show and that there's not a direct transport from stage to TV or film. However, he probably assumes that the audience has been largely weaned on his stage productions and already has low expectations.

Kelly and Chelsea should get together and form a meddling and shite-stirring squad. Right now they're the two biggest yentas in GC. That conversation was so odd. Jack does know that Victoria slept with Stitch, doesn't he? Maybe he was just trying to avoid being a judgmental gossip (unlike his date) but I was surprised the WTD situation didn't come up.

♫ Nick's milkshakes bring all the girls to the bar...♫ So, any guesses on how soon Noah will end up in bed with someone who looks 99.9% like his dead sister? Bonus points if Sharon catches them in flagrante. What's left of her mind would shatter into a million pieces.