Wiendish Fitch

But God forbid the wife forgets her husband's birthday or doesn't take the trash out...

Ugh, Abu pissed me off. I was happy they wrote him out of the stage musical version. Coincidentally, I also hated Cheeta. I guess I just don’t like simian sidekicks. Not sure what that says about me as a person, but there ya go.

Oh, but you know women, they never know what they REALLY want! They need someone else to show them the way! Preferably some dude in khakis and a pith helmet! Thank goodness people don't think like that anymore! Heh heh heh... ugh. Moving along I'm pleased to say the rather Xander-like character of Harry Holt

A fair and valid point, but considering these films', shall we say, decidedly unenlightened view of women and people of color*, it's doubtful they thought the cubs were worth the trouble of saving. Still infuriating, though. Dammit, Rita!! *I still really like the first three Tarzan films with Weissmuller and O'Sullivan, but don't think for a second I'm blind to their problems.

Tarzan Escapes (1936) Jane's upper class twit cousins Rita and Eric have ventured to the Mutia Escarpment to find Jane and bring her back to civilization. At some point, Rita wanders off, finds some lion cubs in a hollow tree, and proceeds to pick one up and start cuddling with it. Yes, lion cubs are enchantingly cute, but you don't have to be a wildlife expert to know that you don't just start randomly petting or picking up baby animals, because you don't know if the parents are nearby! And sure enough, the mother lion appears, predictably goes into protection mode, and has to be shot by the safari leader! Rita apologizes for "being a nuisance", and they just go on their way. Great job, dumbass, those cubs are orphaned now! They'll be dead by sunset!

I said it was my Mt. Rushmore of Christmas Carols. Y'all have yours, I have mine. Sorry, I should have been more clear.

Love Repeat Performance, I'm glad it's getting the recognition it deserves. Joan Leslie was never better, and I 100% agree that Barney was the worst. No joke, I've seen Repeat Performance 3 or 4 times, and each time I say aloud, "Hey, honey, if you don't want to kill him, mind if I take a shot at it??"* *Pun ABSOLUTELY intended.

Nixon had the decency to resign... Dammit, now I'm doing it!

Bolded mine. And... Holy shit, things are so bad that we can actually something nice about Henry goddamned Ford?? Is there a way to summon the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse?!

Here's Jodi "Ariel" Benson's version:

So many sexy moments between Johnny Weissmuller and Maureen O'Sullivan in the Tarzan series... Tarzan the Ape Man: Playful frolicking escalates into some steamy feelings, and, unable to resist these new urges,Tarzan picks Jane up and carries off to his tree hut for....you know. In a beautiful overhead shot, we see them just gazing into each other's eyes, totally engrossed. Tarzan breaks away long enough to look up, then looks back at Jane, who buries her head in his neck in maidenly submission, and he continues on to their destination (three cheers for nonverbal consent!). Tarzan and His Mate: Tarzan sees Jane in a formal dress for the first time, definitely likes what he sees, and scoops her up for a little treetop lovin'... much to the chagrin of his rival, Harry. Oh, and the legendary nude swim (yes, O'Sullivan needed a stunt double, but it's still hot as hell). Honorable mention: Tarzan Escapes, in which our half-naked hero (Weissmuller at his physical peak) smashes the villain's gun against a tree. Damn, excuse me, I think I need a cigarette...

A quote often attributed to Clarence Darrow: When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. It used to regarded as mildly amusing, but now I view it as tragic. I don't know what this says about me, but I no longer care as much about being a nice person... anybody should not be President. The idea that anybody can be President is ludicrous and dangerous. We need stricter standards and term limits, and no more reelection nonsense (hell, there are decent people who reapply for jobs and never get them, so why not?). Served one term and didn't get elected for a second one? Goodbye, and don't let the door hit you. There should be rigid protocol, tests of every kind, background checks, you name it, let's use 'em. If you fail any of them, you. Are. Out. And fuck second chances. FFS, I can't get a goddamned non-retail job, and I'm an honest, law abiding, college educated citizen who isn't even aiming that high, and I know there are countless others in the same boat as I am. I think becoming President should be significantly harder than getting a new job in today's job market.

Mr. Magoo is also a good one. Controversial opinion: "Winter was Warm" is every bit as good as "When Love is Gone" (I do love a "Scrooge getting his ass dumped" song!). Did you know they sometimes put on Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol as a live play? Here is a montage from 2019. Gavin Lee's Magoo is a delight, and Sierra Boggess crushes it as Belle.

I adore that one. George C. Scott is one of my favorite Scrooges: sardonic, bitter, and he thankfully keeps the scenery chewing to a minimum. I also appreciate how, like Michael Caine and Alistair Sim, Scott wasn't a frail, bent little old man (I can't tell you how much I hate when Scrooge is portrayed that way). He's under the age of 60 (seriously, do the math, that's most likely how old Scrooge is) and physically imposing. The 1984 version also has my favorite: Jacob Marley (Frank Findlay is over the top and theatrical, but in all the right ways) Tiny Tim (Anthony Walters, believably frail but cute) Ghost of Christmas Present (Edward Woodward, aka the original Equalizer!) Bob Cratchit (David Warner plays a good guy for a change!). To sum up, my Mt. Rushmore of Christmas Carols: 1984 telefilm Muppets Mickey 1951 version with Alistair Sim

The Wrong Trousers is a damned masterpiece, proof that animation isn't "just for kids". Aardman has disappointed me the last few times, let's hope Vengeance Most Fowl isn't a letdown.

And yet these are the same men who desperately want women to mother them 24/7.

Bolded mine. I'm not a linguist, would never try to present myself as such, but even I know that, the vast majority of the time, "out of the way" means dead. I didn't buy Sadira's innocent protestations then, I don't buy 'em now. I really don't get why writers latch on to a character that they believe is above and beyond reproach, no matter how horrific their actions. It's always gone on, and it doesn't appear to be going away any time soon. p.s. I shared your precocious distaste for Sadira when I was a kid watching this show, and it wasn't helped that she was voiced by whiny, sniveling Kellie Martin.

I always appreciate any snark related to "Little Drummer Boy". Even my darling Josh Groban couldn't make that insipid irritant of a song palatable.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Patti Murin, who originated the role of Anna in the Broadway version of Frozen, sings a lovely rendition of "When Love is Gone" from Muppet Christmas Carol.

Apologies if this has been mentioned in the past (I was too lazy to check), but due to recent events, this "HELL YEAH" moment feels worth repeating: The end of Balto (unmarked spoilers): Our villain Steel's lies about Balto and the team have been exposed, and all of his admirers are utterly disgusted, even Steel's biggest fangirl, Dixie. Dixie, who has spent the entire movie squealing and swooning over Steel, approaches him and says, "Steel, you are positively... DISPOSABLE!!!" She then knocks the bone he's been chewing out of his mouth, and joins the others as they leave in disgust (and Steel in disgrace). Wait... Dixie was shown that her hero was actually horrible, saw the plain truth presented to her, accepted it and embraced it immediately, rejected said former hero, and just went on her merry way?!! Let me remind you all, these are animated talking dogs, and they showed more intelligence and character than most flesh and blood real people!! God, I hate living in the real world sometimes...

For the most part, I do show a lot restraint. I have a very long fuse, I hold my tongue, and employ a lot of tact and civility, especially when I'm on the clock and with conservative family members. I fucking hate that about myself. Enjoy Muppet Christmas Carol.

The other day I had a co-worker randomly start babbling to me about how Trump was going to lower prices and interest, because our current government just ain't cutting it. *WF rubs temples until blood is drawn* You know what? I am not completely devoid of imagination, so, as a thought experiment, let's pretend Trump actually will lower prices and interest*. How sub-humanly selfish do you have to be to want cheaper stuff at the nightmarish cost of the rights and lives of countless human beings? Do you have any idea how much we have to lose? How much we are going to lose? But, hey, gas might be cheaper, so it will all be worth it, right?! My co-worker can go fuck himself with a piece of glass. *No he fucking won't. I just felt like reminding everyone.

That was decent, though I thought the stills looked kind of awkward. Last year's montage looked more seamless. I appreciated the "outside the box" choices for clips (they didn't use Darth Vader or Mufasa for James Earl Jones, for example). They excluded OJ Simpson. I am 100% okay with that. As I've mentioned before, I would have loved if they'd used one of the goofy, slapstick scenes from The Naked Gun, but again, his exclusion is fine and dandy.

Don't know if this is the appropriate thread for it, but some of you were mentioning shows or movies that are your "therapy" during this shitty, SHITTY time. Mine has been Say Yes to the Dress: Lancashire. Utterly frivolous? Check. Delightful accents? Check. Ridiculously low stakes? Check. "Auntie" Gok? CHEEE-YECK! Apologies for this superfluous detour. You may resume your more serious conversation.

Ha! I remember that episode so well! Give Iago this, he never did anything half-assed! I also find it depressing that fictional rulers are so phenomenally superior (or, bare minimum, capable of growth) to what we have in real life.