Wiendish Fitch

Every so often on this forum or similar ones, the topic of laugh tracks on sitcoms comes up. Most say nay, some say yay, but the debate will probably always rage on. What do I think? If we're talking old school sitcoms, I will eagerly take canned laughter over sappy, manipulative music cues during "heartfelt" scenes. Full House was the most egregious offender of this, and I like to think it also killed this trend due to overuse. Even superior sitcoms like Benson were guilty of this from time to time. It's just my way to pick the lesser of two evils.

Yet another reason why I don't regret giving up on The Simpsons a lifetime ago (I'm not even exaggerating... good god, cancel it already!!). To everyone out there, learn from Hans's mistake: marry someone who loves you, not someone who proves society wrong about you! Marry a person, not a status symbol! Chris Hargensen from Carrie is tied with Cleopatra as my favorite horror villain. I swear, every time Mr. Fitch and I watch Carrie (we've seen it a ridiculous number of times), when Chris and Billy get their comeuppance, one or both of us utter that immortal line from The Critic: "And nothing of value was lost!"

Apologies if I've mentioned this one before, but it bears repeating. I recently re-watched one of my favorite horror classics Freaks recently (Criterion released a stunning blu-ray edition this month), and, my god, Cleopatra is so thoroughly loathsome and repulsive... and I love the movie for that. We know nothing of her past (good, 'cause I don't care), her motives boil down to pure greed, cruelty and entitlement, and her comeuppance is-*chef's kiss*- poetic justice at its finest. I know modern audiences like to sneer at past movie acting, especially a 90+ year old movie like Freaks, but I think Olga Baclanova's very over-the-top acting enhances the surreal atmosphere of Freaks. Besides, It's not as if Baclanova isn't capable of icy, quiet menace ("He could get sick..."). Fans of the film also know of the cut scene* of what happens to Cleopatra's evil accomplice/lover Hercules, but, alas, it's lost to time. *Heh heh, "cut scene"...

True, but they did play father and son in the Scrubs episode "My Unicorn". John Perry playing "Hey, Good Lookin'" on the guitar while a deadpan Matthew sits unimpressed is a highlight.

Awful, awful news. Chandler was always my favorite friend. I can relate to not being the most confident person in the room and hiding behind humor. At his best, Matthew Perry brought a real sense of giddiness and joy to Chandler that made him so memorable. Honestly? This was the moment where I fell in love with one Mrs. Chanandler Bong- I mean, Chandler Bing.

Chandler was always my favorite Friend. I knew Matthew Perry had his issues, but I didn't think it would end like this for him. That we'll always have Friends is a consolation, albeit a bittersweet one.

That's true, but the concept of reticence nowadays is as dead as the dodo.

Jane Seymour did that?! I mean, I get having a crush on Christopher Reeve (he was ludicrously handsome), but rewriting history like when he isn't even around anymore is kind of sickening. He moved on, Janie, why don't you try doing the same? If a celebrity's past relationship ends badly, I'd like, just once, for someone to lose the damn rose-colored glasses and admit they're glad it ended. Quit romanticizing every friggin' thing in life, sometimes we go through bad periods, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that. For instance, I doubt Tina Turner lost much sleep after she finally left Ike (or if she did, she got the hell over it in time).

Ugh, all these claims of past loves being "soulmates" or these phony regrets over past relationships (I feel so vindicated in my longtime distaste for John Stamos) are enough to make me grind my teeth into powder. Speaking of Old Hollywood, here's another reason I love Greta Garbo: she was in a relationship with frequent onscreen partner John Gilbert. He desperately wanted to marry her, but she turned him down several times. Their relationship fizzled out, and he eventually died tragically young. Did Garbo wallow in self-pity? Hell no! A few years after his death, she quit the biz, lived a fabulously eccentric single life, and even went on to say "I can't remember what I ever saw in him". A bit callous, one could argue, but her honesty was refreshing (I mean, what did she owe him at that point?), and sure beats the mealy-mouthed, indiscriminate use of the word "soulmate". Garbo lived her life and moved on, good for her. Living in the past is anything but healthy.

A YouTuber I really like, moderngurlz, posted this video on the trend of "adorkable" Disney heroines. What do you all think?

I shudder to think how anyone is able to get a Harvard Law degree when they grew up being taught that humans and dinosaurs coexisted and that hands are "made up of nonliving atoms" (WHAT?!?!?!) I'm the biggest science dunce in existence, but even I found that appalling. I really, really hope the Joshua Generation's reach isn't that great, because if it is, we are well and truly screwed.

Re: Jada (and, let's face it, Britney) All joking aside, I personally don't think it's sweet or romantic to idealize a past love; in fact, I think it's unhealthy and depressing, because to some, it's much easier to dwell on what could have been instead of facing what is. Dear readers, take my advice: Don't carry a torch for too long, you're just going to burn your hand.

Veronica Mars, "The Wrath of Con". Flashbacks show Veronica's late friend Lilly encouraging Veronica to try a flashier look for the school dance, like "strapless red satin" instead of the demure pink dress Veronica selected. When they go to the school dance with their dates, they instead opt to go to the beach to play "Never Have I Ever" (or something) and Veronica, then the shrinking violet, says, "I've never gone skinny-dipping!" The episode ends in the present day, Veronica now indeed wearing a strapless red satin dress to the school dance, but on the way there, she makes her friends stop at that same beach... so she can go skinny dipping. Not after the dance, mind you. Before the dance. Um, Veronica, honey? I get that you're honoring your deceased friend by taking chances and living life to the fullest and all that crap, but why in every circle of hell did you buy a new dress, go through the trouble of putting on make-up and getting your hair done (neither of which is a cheap or quick undertaking) just to take a damn swim?? You probably have fucking seaweed in your hair, your makeup is ruined, your dress is all sandy and dirty... is there a reason this couldn't have waited?!?! Trivial, I know, but it's always bugged me.

Oh, c’mon, Heston Biblically* intoning “You go, girl!” In Hercules is comedy gold for the ages. *Yes, I realize that’s the incorrect use of that word, and, no, I don’t care.

Update: Mary Lou Retton is on the mend, according to her daughter. It doesn't make her choice to not have health insurance any less appallingly stupid.

More than fair. I still like Gone Girl, but, ye gods, I am so sick of all the knock-offs. Trends are inevitable in fiction, but this feels especially tiresome.

This makes the Slap even worse in hindsight. Will strikes me as someone desperately clinging to something that's just gone. Will, Jada? Please, divorce already. It's okay, it'll hurt, but it won't kill you. This whole charade is agonizing at this point. If Hugh Jackman can end his 25+ year marriage with his dignity intact, then so can you.

I'm married, and happily so, but I would never dream of telling anyone that they "should" find a partner. Everyone's different, and marriage (or even just long-term relationships) aren't for everyone. Live and let live, I say.

Right?!? Too many people at my job watch or listen to things on their phones without earphones, and it drives me up the wall. One guy was (I shit you not) listening to the song "Afternoon Delight" at a high volume without so much as a twinge of embarrassment!

A review of Savior Complex from The Guardian. Maybe it will be more damning than we thought. I hope so, because I find real-life villain apologia utterly infuriating. Hopefully Renee will make herself look awful, the way Darren White did in Audrie and Daisy.

Not really "news", per se, but according to Dominique Moceanu's Twitter, she didn't get a job at Kent State because they wanted someone "younger". Holy shit, the ageism and sheer stupidity are just... breathtaking. Kent State turned down an Olympic gold medalist because of her age. Olga Korbut is crowding 70, but if she were applying for a coaching position at my gym, I'd hire her in a heartbeat! Honest to God, how can people be so appallingly horrible and stupid all at once? Moceanu seems to be taking it in stride, but if she wanted to raise a bigger stink about it, I say have at it!

Hey, if anyone's earned the right to be less than a peach once in a while, it's our gal Cindy! Thank goodness her performance is memorable because Michael Wilding (aka the second Mr. Elizabeth Taylor) as the prince? Not so much.

It probably wasn't much different than Fred's partnership with his sister Adele. The Glass Slipper is very cute and different. Leslie Caron said she based her performance off of Marlon Brando's in On the Waterfront. I do hope they release The Glass Slipper on blu ray, because the costumes at the ball are just lovely.

I'm sorry, but I think The Birds is utterly overrated. I find it so boring, and Tippi Hedren is such a charisma vacuum, and I 100% agree about Suzanne Pleshette's Annie. So sweet, so vibrant, yet wasting away in Bodega Bay. Anyone else always forget that Jessica "Miss Daisy" Tandy is in this movie? I do. Yes, the age difference between Rod Taylor's character (he's so dull I can't be bothered to remember his name) and his sister is awkwardly wide, but that's hardly the worst I've seen. Fred Astaire and Jane Powell play brother and sister in Royal Wedding... and they were a good 30 years apart! I can suspend my disbelief, but only so much (still a cute movie, though)!