Wiendish Fitch

Sounds lovely. There is something refreshing and wholesome about a bike ride. I don't live in a bike-friendly area (too hilly and busy), but to those who do, enjoy!

Bolded mine. Those people are disgusting. Ladies, do whatever the hell you want with your hair. Make like Rapunzel or the late Sinead O'Connor, it doesn't fucking matter, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Ah, yes, the Felicity debacle. It's debatable if the ratings really suffered due to Keri Russell cutting her hair, but the fact that it received so much attention was more than a little absurd. I apologize for being so salty over a trivial issue, but as a gal who prefers to wear her hair short, I tend to get a wee bit defensive when people take issue with women cutting their hair.

Thanks for the announcement! Now I'll know when to avoid it! Moving along, I recently watched Oliver & Company for the first time in decades, and I have some random thoughts: The soundtrack is a delight, but I took issue with how they shortened "Streets of Gold" (easily my favorite song). Come the hell on, Disney! Billy Joel and Bette Midler get uninterrupted banging solo songs, but you couldn't extend the same courtesy to poor Ruth Pointer?! Conversely, does anyone else find it odd that Ms. Pointer, fabulously talented as she is, had to provide Rita's singing voice, considering Rita is voiced by Sheryl Lee Ralph... who is a fabulous singer herself?? Making Fagin a more sympathetic character was certainly a choice, and I might have been more onboard with it if he hadn't been voiced by Dom deLuise (sorry, but I always found him irritating). Bill Sykes is wonderfully evil and nasty (as villains should be), and he gets one of the most gruesome comeuppances ever! Georgette is such a hilarious anti-heroine, and Bette Midler was the perfect choice to play her. I also applaud how the animators knew how to make Georgette go from pretty to ugly in the twinkling of an eye. Jenny's parents are proof that money can't buy parenting skills!

Eh, I don't have it in me to get into spoilers. If you decide to find out elsewhere (and you dislike Rose as well), I truly suggest you brace yourself. Oh, SOOOOOOO much worse.

Doctor Who: I didn't used to, but now it's official... I fucking hate Rose Tyler.

I liked Penny's short haircut on The Big Bang Theory.

I also love the damn near poetic final line, "Now, run along, I'm sure some young filly's just dyin' for you to waltz her into a stupor." *chef's kiss*

I like Gal Gadot okay, but I do agree she is miscast as the evil queen. She lacks the necessary quiet menace. As lovely as she is, I think she doesn't look right in the iconic wimple. She seems overwhelmed by the wardrobe. On top of all that, they gave her two songs. With precious few notable exceptions, I feel that the villain should only get one song in a musical. After two, I can't really take them seriously. As much as I hate the live action remakes, I do sometimes have fantasy castings, and I always thought Jessica Chastain would be a great Evil Queen. I'm not sure if she can sing, but that's never stopped the casting people in the Disney live action remakes before.

I do like that our girl Cindy has a snarky side, like when she talks about interrupting the "music lesson" (even Jaq and Gus can't help but laugh).

Isn't it enough that the late, great Eva Cassidy had one of the most beautiful voices ever, but to have this already lovely Stevie Wonder song backed by the London Symphony Orchestra?! It's almost too much! There are too many songs that Frank Sinatra sang gorgeously, so here are my top 3:

Cinderella (1950) It's sweet how, in the early flashback of Cinderella's childhood, we see her petting her horse, with Bruno as a puppy looking on. Not only did they grow up with her, but she remains as devoted to them as ever, even if they are getting up there in years. She truly loves them as much as she ever did, further illustrating what a kind person she is. Compare that to Anastasia* and Drizella, who you KNOW would lose interest in pets once they're no longer little and cute. *The hell with those damn sequels, Anastasia was a bitch and always will be in my eyes.

My favorite Billy Joel songs... "Angry Young Man" (I can't tell you how well this song holds up) "Just the Way You Are" (I'm such a mush) "Vienna" (Very haunting and emotional) "Why Should I Worry" (Are we going to ignore that Billy Joel was in Oliver and Company???)

Oh, FFS, can every asshat celebrity stop comparing accountability to the fucking Hollywood blacklist?!?!? Those people didn't do anything wrong! You. Did. Now shut your noisemakers and kindly disappear!!

HA!! I normally don't even like Honest Trailers, but this one was fabulous! And, yes, the costumes do look like they came from Spirit Halloween! Poor Gal Gadot will never live down the champagne line from Death on the Nile. That all white wedding scene was the most offensively bland thing I've seen in ages.

Ariana Grande sings the ever-loving hell out of "Zero to Hero" from Hercules.

As much as I dislike You Can Count on Me, I did like Rory Culkin (yup, he's Macaulay and Kieran's brother) as Laura Linney's son Rudy. He's not a fount of wisdom or a cutesy one-liner generator, he just acted like a regular kid trying to cope with the drama around him.

As bonkers as it is... I would consider moving to Bikini Bottom. As comedian Alex Edelman has pointed out, Spongebob can afford a two-story pineapple on a fast food workers' salary (a job he seems to only work part-time). I mean, who can beat that?!

One of the most underrated child actors from the 1930s and 40s was Virginia Weidler. She was so effortlessly charming and cute without being cloying. She was delightful in The Women as Little Mary, one of the precious few characters with the stones to stand up to ruthless gold-digger Crystal ("I think this bathroom is perfectly ridiculous!"). She was also a standout as Katharine Hepburn's free-spirited kid sister Dinah in The Philadelphia Story,* messing with the reporters with aplomb (her unabashedly loud rendition of "Lydia the Tattooed Lady" is a hoot). *I personally hate The Philadelphia Story, but I do love Weidler in it.

High Society (1956) I know Tracy (Grace Kelly) only donned this frilly ensemble to mess with the reporters (the only scene from this and The Philadelphia Story that I like), but I think she wears it beautifully!

Sweethearts (1938) During intermission of the titular show, it's revealed to star Ernest (Nelson Eddy) that the cat that lives backstage has had kittens (there's a whole basket of 'em!). Ernest is boyishly giddy and thrilled, and even picks up a kitten, rubs it against his chin, and then gently returns it to the basket while congratulating the mama. I love that Ernest dares to be enchanted by the adorability of kittens and doesn't feel the need to hold back. A million points for Ernest!

Sweethearts (1938) Not only is this movie gorgeous (I love 3 strip Techncicolor), but Jeanette MacDonald wears some absolutely gorgeous, eye-catching outfits. I want the pink dress in the worst way.

Yeah, trying to make a cutesy animated version of The King and I is so embarrassingly wrong-headed. FFS, there are 3 cute animal sidekicks I've seen mentioned in the reviews! Having one cute animal sidekick in The King and I is already a stupid idea, but 3?! That's just desperate!

The 1999 animated version of The King and I was savaged by critics and tanked in theatres. I tried watching it on TV once... and turned it off after 5 or 10 minutes, because there is a fucking sea monster during "I Whistle a Happy Tune". So, no, I ain't giving it another chance, because they did so many things wrong, as evidenced by the Musical Hell review of it (the only palatable way to watch it). But you know what they did right? Casting the underrated Christiane Noll as the singing voice of Anna. She is simply glorious, and she sings the hell out of my favorite song from The King and I, "Getting to Know You". I posted the audio clip, so you won't be distracted by the crappy animation.

Give your kitty a pat for us.

Deadpan Mr. Dewey was my favorite. He was another highlight in the aforementioned cringefest episode. Jessie (upon receiving a disappointing grade on her assignment): 'C'? 'C'?!! Mr. Dewey: Si, senorita, but this isn't Spanish class! They were awesome as friends (and there was no UST! Hooray!). I love this exchange between them, when Jessie suspects the new female wrestler on the team is trying to steal Slater from her. Zack: Chrissy likes me! Jessie: But... she said the guy she liked was a total hunk! Zack: Oh, and what do I look like, a bologna sandwich?!