Wiendish Fitch

I can't lie, I wouldn't mind living in Deborah Vance's mansion on Hacks, even if it is shamefully opulent. I just love the layout and the decor. She also has Corgis! Okay, that has nothing whatsoever to do with the house, but I just felt like mentioning that, because... CORGIS!!!

Madame Web Another bad hero look... what is going on with Sydney Sweeney's Spiderwoman mask?!?!? Look at that thing, it must shift and wobble like crazy! To say nothing of how it must pull on the skin! I know we love to mock how hero masks do a lousy job actually covering their faces, but at least make them look reasonably sturdy! This looks like it will pop off with just one punch! Why is there a chin strap?! Why not fully commit with a facial cowl, like Batman? Yes, it's the least of Madame Web's problems, but it's been driving me mad ever since I saw it...

I would commit unspeakable crimes to get that house... but since said crimes would be against those damned Tanners, I'd be more than willing to risk my eternal soul!

This is the most painfully relatable thing I've seen in an age.

Speaking of shrinks, Frasier Crane's apartment (from the original, not that damned reboot) was too, too classy (even with Martin's ugly chair).

We have a thread for fictional towns we would or wouldn't want to live in, but how about we get more specific and talk about TV homes? The title comes from the childhood fortune-telling game MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House). Here are my dream homes: Monica's apartment from Friends: Yes, it is among the least realistic homes on TV. Yes, even real life rent-controlled homes aren't that big and nice. I don't care, Monica's apartment is too cute, and it's PURPLE!! Gimme it! Mary Richards's apartment from the early seasons of The Mary Tyler Moore Show: So cozy and adorable, though the shag carpet would be the first thing to go (sorry, but I hate shag carpeting). Bonus mention of Rhoda's hot pink attic apartment! Lorelai and Rory's house from Gilmore Girls: I'm just a little obsessed with blue houses. I also appreciated that it was on the messy side. Eleanor's house from The Good Place. She griped about it (and I also am not wild about the clown paintings), but other than that, I thought Eleanor's house was kind of quirky and cute.

Here's a doozy of a UO: Not only do I find Marilyn Monroe horrendously overrated, I actually prefer Jayne Mansfield and think it's a shame she didn't have more of a career. No joke, Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter and The Girl Can't Help It are super fun flicks. Speaking of which, I heard that Mariska Hargitay is making a documentary about her mom. I'm looking forward to seeing it.

I always found Chris Tucker irritating as hell, and I didn't miss him one bit when he dropped out of sight for several years.

Awww, I loved those books when I was little. RIP.

That was awful, and it certainly lowers my opinion of Giles as well. I remember on TWoP there were people who actually thought Buffy looked aroused when Xander was trying to rape her. I am not making this up. Buffy most assuredly did not look aroused to me in that scene. She looked both scared and like she was trying to formulate a plan to get away. Even if you still think she looked aroused (dammit, I feel gross), have you considered that she was just faking it to lull Xander into a false sense of security before fighting back?! But of course, Xander isn't allowed to own what he almost did while under the spell, because that would lead to character growth, and we can't have that! Because according to good ol' Joss Whedon, Xander is the "heart" of the group, and therefore just peachy keen the way he is!

The episode "Helpless" always left a foul taste in my mouth. Yes, I love that Buffy defeated the MOW with her own innate cleverness and quick thinking*, but between Giles's weakening of her and Xander offering to open that jar for her in the end while calling her "little lady"**, it just gave me a ton of ick. *Though are we really supposed to be surprised? At that point, Buffy had proven multiple times to extremely bright, intuitive, and adept at thinking on her feet. **Yeah,yeah, I know he was just joking, but it still rubbed me the wrong way. At least Xander couldn't open the jar, either.

That’s the one.

Great Danes are lovely, gentle giants. Hidalgo, the titular horse from the 2004 movie, is so beautiful.

I found this 1966 interview with David Susskind from the HBO documentary Being Mary Tyler Moore (I highly recommend it). I have to say, Ms. Moore's defense of the character of Laura Petrie from The Dick Van Dyke Show sounds positively modern and reasonable, because you know what? Laura wasn't perfect, she wasn't just the stereotypical TV housewife. Laura could be overly sensitive, snippy, and alternated between adoring her husband and finding him a pain in the ass. Hell, Laura herself could be a pain in the ass and suffered consequences for it (remember when she made the mistake of opening that package meant for Rob?). Here's the interview. Moore is delightfully candid while remaining classy.

Many years ago, I posted here my hatred for the song "Wind Beneath My Wings". No, time has not softened my opinion, I still hate it, but lest I completely wallow in negativity, I do think there are songs out there that succeed where "WBMW" fails. One great example is "I'll Remember" by Madonna. It's tender, sincere, and Madonna isn't humble-bragging all over the place; on the contrary, she's willing to admit her weaknesses that the subject of the song helped her overcome. I'll even put "Kind and Generous" by Natalie Merchant over "WBMW". Hell, I don't even like that song either (or Merchant as a singer*), I find it tedious, but you know what I appreciate about it? The subject of the song is just that, THE SUBJECT, not the object. My point is, this kind of song can be done well. *Though I still love "Wonder". I'm not made of stone, you know.

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

A Tale of Two Cities (1935) Yes, we all know and love Sydney Carton's heroism, but let's not forget Mrs. Pross (the invaluable Edna Mae Oliver) giving that vicious sociopath Madame Defarge (Blanche Yurka) what-for. When Defarge breaks into the Darnay's home, Pross locks her in a room and wrestles a gun out of her hand, but not before this exquisite exchange: Miss Pross: Oh no you don't! Madame Defarge: Let me pass. Miss Pross: Never! I know what you want. I know what you're after. And thank heaven I'm put here to stop you - for stop you I will! Madame Defarge: In the name of the Republic... Miss Pross: In the name of no one, you evil woman. You've killed many innocent people. No doubt you'll kill many more; but my ladybird you shall never touch. Madame Defarge: No? Do you know who I am? Miss Pross: You might - from your appearance - be the wife of Lucifer; yet you shall not get the better of me. I'm an Englishwoman! I'm your match! You tell her, Pross!

Top Secret! is also a hoot. And, I have to say, Kilmer wasn't half bad as Batman (it's not his fault Batman Forever is goofy as hell).

RIP, Mr. Kilmer. By the by, I thought Iceman was the real hero of Top Gun.

One can still love the Harry Potter franchise while hating that miserable Joann. John Lithgow has to work, wants to work, and Dumbledore is a plum role I think he is well suited for. I think if he doesn't want to think too much about Joann and her ugly views, that's his prerogative.

Like a lot of people, I'm not 100% wild about Adriana Caselotti (Snow White)'s voice. Don't get me wrong: her technique is second to none (not surprising, her dad was a vocal coach), but I find her voice by itself a wee bit too cold and high-pitched. I don't hate it anymore, it's personally more of an attitude of "it is what it is". The maddening thing is, Caselotti's voice improved dramatically as she matured, as the below clip demonstrates. Try not to cry with dumb joy at these two Disney legends duetting their hearts out.

Bob Dylan's voice has always irritated me.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring It was a hoot seeing Gimli go from Grumpy to Bashful upon meeting the fair Galadriel. He's barely able to admit to Legolas later on that he asked for a strand of Galadriel's hair... and then gets a bit choked up when he reveals she gave him three*. The funny thing is, before meeting Galadriel, Gimli was grumbling about the "Elf witch of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell", only to really fall under Galadriel's spell (not literally, just figuratively). *I do think it's weird he asked for a strand of hair as opposed to a lock of it. Maybe it's a Middle-Earth dwarf thing.

I need to check that one out! It has a bunch of actors I love in it! I also really loved Chamberlain as the Prince in The Slipper and the Rose. I realize this movie isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I did adore that Chamberlain's Edward had more personality than most princes in other versions of Cinderella... not to mention he gets to deliver some wonderfully snarky lines ("Our police couldn't find a haystack, much less a needle!").

On a more positive note, I have to give it up for Lucille LaVerne as the Evil Queen in the original. It remains one of the most chilling, memorable voiceover performances ever... and it was her last film (she died in 1945)! LaVerne hailed from Tennessee, but was very adept at British accents. Two years before Snow White, she played the Vengeance in MGM's A Tale of Two Cities*, and film historian Rudy Behlmer pointed out how similar her voice was there to the Old Peddler guise. Oh, yes, she voiced both the Queen and the Old Peddler! How did she manage to sound so convincing? Simple... she just took out her dentures!** * I enthusiastically recommend that one. It's excellent, and it has my beloved Ronald Colman as Sidney Carton. **I read somewhere that Robert Helpmann, who played the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, pulled the same trick in order to look and sound creepier.