Irritable

Was Joe trying to "charm" Ashley I. (during their second sit down wherein he asked for her advice - not the one where she was crying and he basically told her he didn't care) so that she would give him her rose, thereby allowing him to stay long enough to win Samantha back? Read the room, dude...Samantha wants a fresh start with a new guy, not a fresh start with you. Where is all the footage of the other women assuring Joe that Sam still cared about him and wanted to try again? Somehow he has delusions of grandeur AND an inferiority complex. Justin really wore the wrong shirt on his first foray into Paradise, which is apparently miserably humid. I was so uncomfortable just watching him try to move around with that thing clinging to him so viciously. His haircut was not good on Kaitlyn's season, but I think the greased back look is worse. He's got a great face, it shouldn't be so hard to find a hairstyle that works for him. Speaking of wearing the wrong thing...Mikey's shoes on the wrestling date? Oh, Mikey, honey...no. Those shoes will never be okay, but are even less okay with shorts and a t-shirt. I'm going to really need for this to be the last time that the show focuses on him and Juelia. She was "saved", they "have a connection", there's a shot at "love", she's no longer crying over Joe's deception, let's call this DONE.

Everything about this episode that got on my nerves was everything about this episode. Tamra dragging her disgusting son back onto the show, and acting like she's some kind of badass because she paid for him to get into an OC rental he can't possibly afford, and hid this enormous expense which will never be paid back from her husband. Check. Tamra acting like she's going to take the real estate world by storm even though everyone knows she's not, because she has already done the whole "I'm a real estate agent, bitches!" failure thing before. Check. Heather showing off her ridiculous personal hotel during construction, and barking at the group to keep up with the tour as if she was guiding them through the White House. Check. Heather having a luggage room in her house. Check. Vicki saying that she was glad it was her "birthday weekend" so she could have some time that was "just about her". As if there is ever a moment in her world that isn't just about her. Check. NASCAR. Ugh. Check. Meghan and Jim Edmonds. Ugh. Check. Shannon acting like a giant asshole because her birthday celebration wasn't special enough. Check. Shannon disclosing yet another horrifying detail of her husband's affair that none of us really needed to know. Check. Still discussing whether or not Brooks really has cancer when it is nobody's business but his. Check. Shrieking Vicki (even though in this one and only instance I find it understandable for her to be upset enough to shriek, it still gets on my nerves). Check. This hour of pure misery makes me think watching Part 2 of the New York reunion is going to be soothing by comparison.

When Tanner told Jade in such plain language how he felt about her, and what his fears were, I blinked a few times in bewilderment, because I am not used to anyone being able to communicate their feelings so concisely and honestly on these shows. I feel a little sad that someone of his caliber is choosing Jade, who can't articulate even the simplest thought without inserting "like" a million times. Tanner's, like, an actual, like, grown up!

Yes, she reminds me of a frizzy version of Jo, the girlfriend of Slade Smiley, on the first season of Real Housewives of Orange County. Juelia seems to have a sweating issue - she perspires more visibly than the other women. At one point I just wanted to take a rag to her face. Can she not feel that??? Also, nice try thinking that the viewers would believe for even one second that Mikey had flown all the way home, and flew all the way back to Mexico, just because Juelia beckoned. I'm positive when people get eliminated they are just moved to another hotel - one with real walls - to wait until it is determined there is no chance they will be needed for an "exciting twist". Samantha's face looks so reptilian to me that I'm halfway expecting a forked tongue to pop out between her blinding white teeth when they show her. Poor Jorge, trying to take his break down by the water, maybe rest his aching feet and back a little, and he has to deal with Joe bragging about how he made JJ his bitch. Jorge didn't sign up for that!

No, I didn't even know there was a live chat thread until I came here to post. So, others were seeing it too? Glad I'm not alone! I'm sure the resemblance will lessen once Nick changes clothes, but he will have to hurry because if this is going to be anything like TWD, people are going to be stuck wearing the same clothes for 5 seasons!

Here's my translation of Samantha's 180 degree turn on Joe: She WAS into Joe, and when Nick arrived she may have had a pang of regret for being tied to Joe so quickly, but since she was still having an okay time with him she decided to see it through. That night, she had sex with Joe. It was terrible. The next day was his birthday. The sex was so bad that she couldn't even wait until his birthday was over to dump him.

This is not a complaint, but I feel like I just watched Johnny Depp, Jr. in "Fear and Loathing 2: Los Angeles". Between the actor resemblance, his being drug addled, and wearing a Bing Crosby outfit, I found the similarity to be a wee bit distracting at times. It was pretty slow, but I'm in. Of course, I'm probably in no matter what. Hope Alicia's boyfriend isn't dead, he was really nice, and since Cal turned out to be a sleaze we are going to need Matt around for balance.

I'm so pleased that they are continuing the little Pinterest references this season. I have seen that stupid flip-flop wreath posted way too many times!

I liked it when Shannon's daughters were horrified about having to write a letter, saying "do you know who he IS???", implying that this boy was someone VERY important in school, and him finding out who rolled his yard would ruin them forever. He must be the cutest boy in class, and if my instincts are right, he probably has dimples and big brown eyes.

Oh, I don't feel sorry for Tamra, either. I never feel sorry for her, I think she is absolutely vile. I just think it figures that she is dumb enough to basically employ a psychic for her everyday needs.

A woman that was in my class in high school went on to try to be an actor for years, but it never panned out. Once she finally decided that it was time for a new career, she suddenly declared herself to be a psychic medium and spiritual advisor. There's a reason these two "jobs" tend to go hand in hand, and it's amazing to me when anyone puts any kind of real stock into what they say. The only time I kind of get it is when someone has suffered the loss of a loved one, and is desperately searching for something that will give them some peace and acceptance. Of course you want a "professional" to assure you that the person you lost is in a good place, knows how much you loved them, is watching over you, is proud of you, etc.. If the "psychic" who tells you these things has a soothing and comforting presence, then I imagine the whole experience could be helpful emotionally. But literally EVERYTHING else that a medium provides? How can anyone not dismiss it as pure baloney? Tamra is the perfect example of the kind of idiot who relies on this kind of advisor. She's on the phone with this guy several times a week at $100 a pop? Eddie must love that. My guess is that by constantly featuring psychics in all the different franchises, someone in charge is hoping to recapture the magic of the RHoBH Dinner from Hell with Allison Dubois, but that was a very specific set of circumstances that led to one of the most memorable scenes in Housewives history. You can't just throw any old psychic to any old wall and expect them to stick!

Oh, I had forgotten about Tierra! She was MADE for this show. No one's allowed to dull her sparkle! Maybe she has a boyfriend now and didn't want to come to paradise. What a pity, I could have eaten an entire bowl of popcorn watching her do what she does.

I'm just curious, why is that? For me, it's just not in my personality to confront someone who claims to be seriously ill and make them convince me that it's true. I will support them however I can if I think it's warranted, and if I am skeptical then I'll wish them well and carry on with my life, but I'm not going to put them on the spot and question their honesty about something so sensitive. I just don't feel like that's my place. If they are really dealing with something that serious and bleak, I don't want to contribute to their stress by demanding proof.

I think she even said that she has been through so much lately that "the most important thing" is that Brooks was there to support her through it all. But it's not important for her to go with him to pivotal doctor's appointments? Sure, sounds fair to me! No matter what my feelings are about Brooks, I will never question someone who says they have cancer. Don't care if that person is a murderer on death row, I will just assume they do indeed have cancer, and if it comes out later they didn't, then oh well, I got fooled. It just feels too icky and fate-tempting to shit talk the validity of someone else's possible terminal illness, and I'm not interested in carrying that grossness around. Getting all worked up over some bullshit a "psychic" said after he was fed the information by Tamra is just embarrassing on all of them. I am a Shannon-apologizer. I like her, can't help myself. But even though I believe that her intentions weren't to ruin the night, I still clapped my hands over my face and said NOOOOOO! when she pulled Vicki into the restroom to tell her what was said about Brooks. The timing could not have been worse, and I don't understand why she did it then. When Vicki said she didn't want to know because she refused to ruin Brooks' birthday, I was agog because it was the first time I'd seen Vicki do something that was truly selfless and considerate toward another person, with nothing in it for her. But then she ruined it anyway by immediately storming back to the table to tell Brooks that something bad was said about him. Shannon was perfectly willing to drop it and go on with the evening, Brooks never would have been the wiser and could have enjoyed a pleasant night out, but nope. Vicki had to go full hysterical banshee, and destroy his night anyway. I think it was even worse to basically say, "People have said mean and terrible things about you, and the whole situation is so awful that we must now rush out of the restaurant and make a huge scene, but I've decided you don't get to know what those mean and terrible things are!" Why should that be her call to make? Was the poor man even done with his dinner? The drive home must have been so lovely for Brooks, listening to Vicki shriek on about how she refused to let anyone ruin his birthday, and how lucky he is to have her to shield him from such negativity. By the end of the night she was probably telling him to rub her shoulders because she'd had a bad night and was still upset about her mom dying. If Brooks really is a grifter who is using Vicki for money, I feel that he has earned every penny he's gotten from her, and then some.

It makes me so mad on reality shows when the behavior of others forces me over to the side of the person I like least. Stop making me agree with disgusting Joe, people! Calm down and mind your own business, because I cannot take any more of this clown court. Did I actually hear someone refer to Joe as a saint, twice, because he's taking all the heat when Samantha is just as "guilty" of breaking the sanctity of Paradise Code? Good lord, someone give these people an air hockey table, a checkerboard, a deck of cards, a monopoly board - something to do besides sit up on high horses declaring the right and wrong ways to use someone else on a TV show. So they think Juelia is a great person and wish that Joe and Samantha had decided to pursue their burgeoning romance on their own dime in another place so that their slots could have gone to someone who might have been an actual match for Juelia, or whoever. Fine. By using the show to pay for their first dates, they took away an opportunity for other people to meet and possibly pair up, and it's reasonable to have the opinion that it was a shitty, inconsiderate thing to do, but no one is saying that. A couple of times people got close to articulating that amongst themselves, but no one says it directly to Joe. It's even possible that if someone approached him and said exactly that, he would shrug and agree that it wasn't the most thoughtful thing to do, and then no one would be talking about busting out anyone's teeth. It's all too stupid for me, and that's saying a lot because I set the bar mighty low on this program. I'm glad that Joe's room is a tiny concrete pit with questionable electrical safety. That just feels right, somehow.

In photos her lips can be explained away with lip liner a little, but watching her try to move them when she speaks is a whole other story. She's a lying liar who lies through her fake, blinding teeth. I assume while the nannies and staff are taking care of her hoard of children, she just stares at herself in the mirror trying to find another body part to put under the knife, or to shove full of Botox and fillers.

I enjoyed that People interview with Kate Coyne. She's kind of great, and honest, and I loved her assessment of Joe. Wish she was Chris Harrison's co-host on the aftershow instead of the other woman, whose name I can't remember (tm: Joe).

I am LOATHE to defend Joe in any way because he's obviously the worst, but when he said everyone needs to get out of his business and worry about finding their own love, I had to agree with him. He has done many vile things, but he doesn't go nosing around in what everyone else is doing. He has stayed on task, which was to keep himself on the show by any means until Samantha arrived, and then just laser-focused on her from then on. Why does the whole pack demand that he throw himself at Juelia's mercy while they watch and maybe throw stones at him? Yes, she's a very nice person that they all like, and no one wants to see get hurt by that asshole, but getting so fussily involved is weird. Or, it just shows how incredibly boring it can get there after so many days of looking at the same scenery and people. Did I understand Dan correctly that he did a 180 on Ashley because she showed some kind of emotion one night, and he didn't like that? Does he consider it a "red flag" when a woman does something other than smile and giggle? He's a real catch! And if he's really in his mid-30's and hasn't yet found a way to accept that sometimes women will express feelings that aren't YAY! and WHEE!, then he's going to be forever alone. Sure, Megan is a great choice for now because she's dumb, gets drunk and smiles a lot, but I guarantee that even she sometimes feels anger, frustration, annoyance or sadness, and he might just have to witness it. I think the woman he's actually looking for is called a blow-up doll. Ashley I. is just a nasty person - whether she's getting her way or not, she's mean and bratty.

I was confused about why they were acting like it was time to pack up the house and decide which belongings and children to take with them, when at that point they didn't know if Kroy was going to be on another team. I guess it was just another thing Kim could use to talk about how "stressful" her life is. Bitch, please. Some things never change! I mean, her face certainly does, but not her whining about how hard everything is in her world of wealth and staff members who take care of everything for her. She's gross as ever. I'm surprised Brielle didn't jump at Kim's offer to live with them until she's 28 and be kept in the lap of luxury. She must really love her dopey boyfriend. The idea of those two living on their own and possibly procreating is frightening. I just imagine them regularly starting kitchen fires because they think the box of macaroni goes in the oven on broil, and struggling to understand how they ran out of money when there are still checks in the checkbook. Kim just had to mention how expensive her faulty dogs are. Why does she need pedigreed, papered purebred animals if she isn't planning on breeding them? The number of ways she finds to waste thousands upon thousands of dollars sickens me. On WWHL, she confirmed that she and Kroy are still not really in contact with his family or her parents, implying that it's everyone's fault but hers, because his family never even got to know her. I guess she's still trying to sell the whole "to know me is to love me" bullshit, but I'm not buying. She also vehemently denies having had any work done to her face, even though anyone with eyes can see she looks different and weird. Her puffy mouth moves in a stiff, unnatural way, her nose has been shaved down into an unnatural point so sharp she could cut glass with it, who does she think she's fooling? She claims that she was so honest about the boob jobs and tummy tuck, so she wouldn't lie about face work, but I think she had to be honest about those because they were on the show, and likely paid for or greatly reduced due to the publicity and exposure for the surgeon. Work that didn't have to be done essentially on camera she is apparently going to just deny, deny, deny.

Oh, that's right - it's his grandmother we see on the show sometimes. On the previews for the season I heard a woman's voice say "it doesn't look like my house anymore" and I had thought maybe it was her, because it seems like Jeff is always forcing upgrades and new styles on her when she's perfectly happy the way things are. I know it's his way of showing love, but maybe grandma would just like some nice flowers occasionally instead.

For once, I have no support for Jeff. I don't know why I tend to be a Jeff apologizer, because I do realize he's an ass in a lot of ways, but I've always felt that I would be able to handle him and just appreciate his sense of humor and the other side of him that can be so kind. That comment to Gage was too much, and his apology wasn't good enough. Wait, did Jeff's mother pass away? Was it on the show? I was wondering if we were going to see her this season.

Aww! Thanks so much, y'all! Who knew in a thread about hoarding I would feel so much love?

I think what Bethenny meant was that LuAnn legitimately believed they were trying to catch her with a guy in her bed, using LuAnn trying so hard to hide bedding the pirate on their last trip as an example of why that is where her mind went, even though that wasn't the actual reason why Heather busted into her room. LuAnn wasn't just saying that to create a diversion from the real situation, it's truly what she thought was behind their actions. LuAnn has had me all season, I've been enjoying the hell out of her, but that one comment to Carole about not having children and meaning it as a jab was beyond the pale That was the kind of cruel, low-down dirty shit Ramona would say but I didn't see it coming from LuAnn, and if it felt like a big donkey kick in the gut to (childless not by choice) me, then I empathize completely with Carole and how that must have made her feel. Also, while I have always considered Girl Code to exclusively mean that you never get with one of your girlfriends' exes (or with them while they are current), I think taking an argument to such a painfully personal woman-to-woman level counts as breaking girl code. That was a bridge way too fucking far. Speaking of bridges, I will never forgive or forget when Ramona verbally eviscerated Bethenny years ago as they walked across the Brooklyn bridge, saying Bethenny had no friends, her fiancée would leave her and she and would end up alone, essentially calling her unlovable. I guess if Bethenny couldn't stay mad at Ramona for that then she truly can't stay mad at her for any reason, but I'll never understand it. All I can do is appreciate that now Ramona is in many ways alone, and in my opinion she IS unlovable, so I hope she's enjoying her karma. Sonja acted like a lunatic over the toaster oven comment. I hope she feels like a giant ass now that she has seen the footage from the interview, but it's not her style to ever admit she was wrong and apologize - best she will do on the reunion is deflect, deflect, deflect. Even with the things that bugged me, I really enjoyed this season. I got some genuine laughs out of it, I was engaged and for the most part interested in what was going on. I'm looking forward to the reunion, because on WWHL it has been said many times by different people that Ramona pulls something that has never been pulled before. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will piss me off.

Ohhhhhh, yes, Llama, that's the guy - thank you! His name is Blake and he married Holly. Whew, that was driving me crazy!

The only one I can remember actually trying to get Jared to change his mind was Mikey, for his own interests, but of course he would say she is 8 years older than Jared, because in Mikey's poor little brain, the difference between 26 and 32 is 8. I think Ashley's sister only came on the show because at the time, she was upset with her "boyfriend" that he was seeing someone else, and she wanted to make him jealous. In her mind, he would go crazy thinking about her in paradise with a pack of horny, good looking guys, and maybe decide to dump the other chick because he realized he couldn't bear the thought of someone else having Lauren. Then she got there, nobody cared, she realized that when the show aired her "boyfriend" would see that none of the guys were interested in her, and THAT is why she was crying and wanted to get the eff out of there. The longer she stayed, the more humiliating footage there would be to prove she wasn't actually being surrounded by suitors, and if he saw that she wasn't really a hot commodity, he might end up dumping her and not his other "girlfriend". I wish Lauren's departure would mean the end of Ashley's bawling, but from the previews I know there is at least one more epic meltdown coming, with her mouth hanging wide open as she wails, exactly the way toddlers do when they need a nap.